Michael Brown

September ended. While the first month of my education at Hogwarts was full of mortal danger and various assassination attempts by the Ministry, my perilous journey wasn't at vain. Thanks to the many challenges I had to overcome, when October began I was already a magical powerhouse, feared and admired in equal measure by everyone in Hogwarts…

Well, not really. I think it would take a little longer for my inherent magical talent to kick in. I improved as a wizard though, as thanks to my slightly above average progress during charms class my repertoire of spells grew considerably. I was currently a proud user of scourgify, reparo and softening charm. While they may not have been the most impressive spells, they actually had quite a lot of utility value, so I was quite happy to learn them. I was also capable of partial transfiguration of match into needle, though it certainly didn't sound as impressive.

On the other hand, my knowledge about offensive and defensive was still abysmal, as Lockhart was magnificent in his ability to avoid actually teaching his students anything substantial during his class. I couldn't help but be impressed by his increasingly convoluted excuses and distractions. It also seemed that other students were starting to see through his initial mask, as once or twice I heard older students complaining about him and starting to doubt his ability to teach. Little did they know it was all part of his plan to make everyone think he was an idiot. Brilliant.

In other news, I had yet to craft a successful potion during the potions class, though in my defence it was at least partially intentional on my part. I was fairly sure that all of the recipes I was given were actually recipes for some powerful poison that would kill me and make it look like it was an accident. Because of that I was intentionally using the wrong ingredients, trying to prevent that from happening. It would be all quite normal if not for the fact that Snape wasn't really commenting on my failures, just telling me to try again. Was it possible that he was actually quite a nice vampire, who actually wasn't interested in following the Ministry's plans? I didn't know, but I was thankful nonetheless.

I was also in the process of completing my private project, though so far I was only dealing with theoretics. To achieve my goal I was spending my evenings reading the book Tom recommended to me, 'Enchantment of household objects and its applications', so I was hoping I would be able to finish it soon and finally start experimenting, though I didn't know how long it would take.

It was a strictly extracurricular activity though, so I wasn't doing that at the moment, as I was about to attend my herbology class instead. Because of that I found myself in the greenhouse, with the rest of my class, listening to professor Sprout explain how to safely deal with spiky bushes.

To be entirely honest, the herbology class was actually quite interesting, as it was surprisingly relaxing and easy to follow. It didn't however change the fact that it was hard to be engaged in the lecture when I knew that, alongside potions class, it was the best place for the Ministry to assassinate me. There were a lot of dangerous and poisonous plants in the greenroom, so it would be quite easy for someone to inject me with some poison and put the blame on one of the plants.

I couldn't even hope for professor Sprout to protect me, as I was fairly sure she was one of these crazy eco-terrorists, who was eager to 'punish' humans for their disregard for plant life.

I mean, professor Sprout didn't outright state it was her goal, as she was just talking passionately about her love for plants, both magical and mundane, but I knew better. I could see that dangerous glint in her eyes as she was declaring that. I knew that despite her pleasant appearances, she was a witch version of Poison Ivy, only instead of looking like a beautiful, green woman, she looked like a harmless grandma.

For that reason I had to be always careful during herbology class. I didn't know when the Ministry would strike or Sprout would begin her ecological crusade against humanity.

"You must remember that your best option when dealing with spiky bushes in the wild is to set them on fire, as approaching them could be quite dangerous. You must however learn how to harvest their spikes, so you will train on these undeveloped bushes. While getting hit by one of their spikes might hurt, there shouldn't be any permanent harm involved" Sprout explained pointing at the numerous bushes behind her. They looked quite ridiculous, as they were literally just normal bushes, but for some reason they had several large spikes, ready to shoot at any moment. Because it just made sense "Remember, spiky bushes are very sensitive to sudden movement. For that reason you must approach it very slowly, careful not to move too much. When you reach the bush, don't try to move to the side, instead harvest its spikes from the front"

At this point I was fairly sure that all magical plants and beasts didn't appear naturally, through evolution or spontaneous magical phenomenon, but were instead created by ancient wizards to be used as bioweapons against their enemies. After the war ended, they spread through the world, becoming part of the ecosystem, but they kept all the dangerous modifications wizards put into them. I mean, it was the only reasonable explanation why fucking bushes were acting like they were in Plants vs Zombies, shooting spikes at anyone approaching them.

"Did you understand everything?" Sprout asked the class, unaware of my thoughts. Seeing everyone nodding to her words, she continued "Wonderful. Please form a line so that we can begin"

We did as we were told and soon a line formed in the middle of the greenhouse, facing the closest spiky bush. I was third in line, with Luna and some vaguely-familiar boy (Troy? Adam? Maybe Colin?) standing before me. Unsurprisingly it wasn't that interesting to watch someone approach the bush, trying to be as still as possible, but it was Luna so I was cheering her on. She was obviously successful, as she approached the bush steadily and without hesitation, for which she was given 5 points. The boy after her unfortunately wasn't as successful, as he got hit by the spikes around halfway through his journey to the bush. Being stung by the spikes made him shout in pain, but we quickly found out he was actually fine, with spikes only prickling him a little. Well, it seemed that at the very least these plants weren't poisonous. It was quite a relief.

After Sprout replaced the previous spiky bush with a new one, it was my turn to begin.

I started walking towards the bush at a slow pace, ready to complete the task without any complications. However, when I was halfway through, I stopped, having a horrible realization. I was too careless! I started my attempt convinced that the plants were harmless, but it wasn't the case! Sprout switched the fucking plants right before my very eyes! She knew I would be cautious, so most of the plants were harmless. However my was most definitely laced with some powerful poison. It probably also didn't matter if I was going slow or not. The bush would shoot me the moment I approached it, most likely controlled by Sprout! I felt myself drenched in cold sweat. I was about to die. I could only do one thing to prevent that.

Knowing my life was about to end, I quickly jumped to the side, desperate to live. Sensing my frantic movement, the spiky bush shot its spikes into the place I occupied a second ago. I could feel them missing me by millimetres, flying behind me and hitting the girl standing next in line. Not expecting to be hit, she shouted and fell into the ground.

I laid on the floor for a few seconds before deeming it was safe for me to stand up. After doing that I looked at the girl, who was looking a little shaken by the unexpected attack, but otherwise unharmed. Wait, did that mean that there was no poison in these spikes? Or maybe it was just slow-acting?

"Mr Brown!" Sprout shouted, startling me. Turning around, I saw the elderly eco-terrorist approach me with an angry frown on her face. She was probably not happy her ploy was thwarted, wasn't she? "Why did you jump so suddenly? Ms Jenkins was hit because of you!"

"Sorry, professor. I was just scared I would get hit by these spikes and jumped on reflex" I replied, unable to explain my action any other way. It's not like I could publicly admit I knew about her assassination attempt. It actually seemed to make her calm down, though she was still frowning.

"While I can understand your fear, you should have told me that beforehand. Ten points from Ravenclaw" She stated. After declaring that, Sprout approached the girl, who was still sitting on the floor "Are you okay, Ms Jenkins?"

As Sprout didn't punish me further, I gave a sigh of relief. She didn't make me try again, so I actually got scot-free. The points were just a symbolic punishment, so there was no…

"That's it!" I heard someone shouting behind me. Trying to find the source of the scream I turned around, only to see Marcus Fawley, my pureblood housemate, coming in my direction with a sneer on his face, with a large group following him. What was going on? When Marcus finally approached me, he stopped and gave me a furious glare " Do you know how many points you have cost us since the start of the year, Brown?!"

"…Maybe a hundred?" I stated, unsure about the exact number. I didn't really keep the count, as there was no reason to do that. Gryffindor would win the cup anyway and there was no reward for second place. Not that there was a reward even for getting first place. The whole point system was just a school-approved pissing contest between hundreds of teenagers. I didn't see any point in caring about that. Marcus didn't seem to like my answer though, as his glare only intensified.

"Is it all just some sort of joke to you?! How dare you act so nonchalant despite ruining everyone's effort! Do you know how important the house cup is?!" He asked angrily. For a moment I thought about replying, but decided against it. I had a hunch it would only make everything worse "I won't let you sully the name of our house any longer! I challenge you to the duel! You will learn your place, you pathetic loon!"

Duel? Why? I didn't even know any offensive or defensive spells. Additionally Marcus was a pureblood, with at least minimal experience in magic combat. I didn't really think there was any point in him showing his superiority against me. I mean, I would probably just lose instantly…

…That was probably the point, wasn't it?

Well, there was only one thing I could do in this situation.

"I decline" I stated confidently, looking straight at Marcus. Judging by his expression, he was quite surprised about my decision.