Chapter 45 - Letters

A few weeks later it had been time for the boys to take the train to Hogwarts. Ginny, tired because close to her confinement, had decided to stay at home. Only Harry was accompanying them. That morning the boys had submitted meekly to an alteration of features by magic and Harry had done the same on himself.
At the platform nobody recognised them, beside obviously Hermione who spotted Harry straight away in the crowd which annoyed him greatly.
She was accompanying a hesitant Rose, with a demeanour that revealed excitement in getting the train but also fearfulness; her first year at Hogwarts hadn't been exactly carefree.
However, Albus was soon on her side, keeping in the other hand, quite proudly, his new broom. James was behind them sending threatening stare left, right and centre to discourage any possible bullying.
As soon his friends were spotted however, he was gone to them to make himself recognised.
Harry saw James pointing him to Francis who gaped excitedly. He nodded a greeting, so the group, feeling encouraged by his friendliness, approached.
Harry took the trouble to learn their names; he shook eager hands and submitted quite serenely to the insistent staring. James, in the meanwhile, had got back in the pre-Christmas mood of I've-got-a-famous-father-and-I-want-to-show-it-off. Which in any case it was much better than the I-hate-my-father one.
After a hasty goodbye, he was sprinting toward the train with his owl, followed by his friends that were keeping throwing glances behind their shoulders to him.
Harry helped Albus and Rose with their trunks and, enveloped in a cloud of steam, they were soon gone.
Harry felt a lump in his throat seeing them go; it had been pleasant to have the house full again, despite half of the holiday had been spent in a sulk from James' part.
It was rather hard to have them away for so long but at the same time he had the baby to look forward too and he was sure than in the space of three weeks, if this child would have revealed itself even only half challenging as the others had been, he would have been pining bitterly for the silence he was now scorning.
Hermione was soon on his side ready to walk back toward a safe spot where she could disapparate.
'Do you like my new look?' he said playfully, running his hand in a mane of thick sandy hair.
She studied it critically 'I don't know. I think dark suit you better'.
He chuckled 'I still don't know how you always manage to recognise me no matter how careful I am in casting the spells. You make me doubt my skills'.
'The spells are very well casted' she said halting in front of a bookshop, peering at the books on display 'but you forget that I've known you since we were eleven. I know you almost better than myself. I would recognise you amid hundreds' she said resuming her walk.
Harry smiled 'When are you leaving?' he asked. Now that Rose was gone, they were surely going to return in Rumania pretty soon.
'Tomorrow. Hugo is starting school in two days and Ron needs to be back at the office'.
Harry nodded. They were now outside the station, walking toward Harry's place, heading for the small alley she always used when meeting him in the morning to go the Ministry.
The weather wasn't inviting. Fall was getting closer; the day was foggy and slightly chilly.
They were walking side to side and Harry was trying to reconciliate himself with the thought of saying goodbye. It had been nice to have her there and, after the conversation at Hogwarts, their relationship was kind of back to what it had been previous her declaration. Although not exactly the same. Despite what was said that day, he hadn't been able to forget what came out from her mouth. It was too deep a feeling the one she had showed to allow him to be forgetful of it. He still felt constrained in his behaviour, scared to pain her more with his affectionate demeanour. But, at least, they were back to confidence. She had been invited many times to their place and Ginny had finally overcome her jealously. Harry had the feeling that they had had a talk between each other but he didn't want to know. However, they seemed very relaxed together and Harry was glad of it. He didn't want to feel responsible of a breach in a friendship that had lasted for as long as his.
He didn't know if he would have written to her and vice versa during her absence but he was relieved in knowing that if in need, she was there without any impediment. He had learned to be careful with her sentiments and moreover he felt confident that he could retain her friendship.
'Do you think I should try to make up with Ron?' he asked somewhat hesitant, voicing a question it had been badgering him since their last encounter. He was hating Ron for a good reason but also for many wrong ones.
Hermione heaved a big sigh 'I don't know, Harry. It's something you must decide. I see it difficult to recuperate the friendship exactly as it was but then you could aim at being able to see him without wanting to beat him to a pulp. That would be already a great improvement'.
'I think I already got over that stage' Harry answered laughing heartily 'but I still feel a lot of irritation when I see him'.
'So, then, don't push yourself. It will happen when it needs to happen and if it won't' she shrugged her shoulders 'Now that we are away, it's less important than before. It is not as we are going to meet each other every day'
They walked slowly, knowing that a goodbye was waiting for them, a cold wind blowing on their faces.
'Why are you still with him?' Harry asked looking at the busy street in front of them, his hands in his pockets.
Hermione looked sideways at him, and she took her time to answer.
'We already canvassed the reasons. I don't love him, but I cannot leave him. Nothing is changed except that now you know one of the reasons why I don't love him anymore.'
Harry didn't answer lost in his reflections. He never liked the idea of the two separating but wasn't it wrong to be with somebody not only without love but loving somebody else? Harry couldn't think to anything worst.
Hermione glanced at him quickly 'Harry, I know what you are thinking. You live in a very happy relationship, and it seems odd for you anything different. But there is not only black or white, love or no love. There are many shades in between. Like there would be many reasons for me to divorce but there are as many not to'
They were soon in front to the small alley and Hermione halted facing Harry 'It would mean, between other things, to divorce the Weasley family and I don't know if I'm ready for that. It has become my family and I don't want to lose it'
And this Harry could understand it quite well and could not condemn it. He still wasn't sure whether it was right to stay together without love but exactly as he hated Ron for one good reason and many wrong ones, he could sympathise with Hermione for staying with Ron for no good reason but many wrong ones.
The moment of farewell was there, and Harry uneasy, still not very much sure of what he could dare or not dare in his behaviour toward her, kept his hands in his pockets repressing all those marks of tenderness that would have marked their previous salutations. 'Goodbye and take care' he whispered hoping that the next time they would see each other she would have loved him a bit less allowing him to love her a bit more.
Hermione smiled sadly 'See you at Christmas'.
His inside flinched hearing that word but he had four months to prepare himself for that moment and he was determinate in succeeding not to let bad feelings overturn him. He had four months to get ready to be a comfort to Ginny if needed and be present for his sons, helping them to affront what it was going to be a serious challenge for the whole family. He knew he would have managed, he just needed to find the strength and, despite many a times he had thought to have run out, he had always found it unexpectantly there in the end.
With a parting smile he started to walk toward home. He had taken only a few steps however when he heard his name called aloud. He stopped; Hermione was running in his direction. She threw her arms around him and standing on tip toe smacked a kiss on each of his cheeks saying slyly 'It doesn't feel right otherwise'.
Harry laughed 'You are right. It didn't feel right'.
'Forget everything that passed. We are friends. I don't want anything to change. Don't overthink about how to behave, just be yourself as you said you would, and you'll be sure to do always the right thing' she said with firmness keeping his face in her chilly hands.
Harry took them in his own and rubbed them to warm them up, kissing the tip of her fingers 'Thank you'.
She nodded and slipping away from him walked back briskly to the alley turning just before to disappear to wave a last time, then the "crack" he heard announced him that she was gone.

Only the next day, while Harry was reading the Daily Prophet on the sofa after the first day back from work, he saw Regina (the owl) flying toward the window. He opened it, tight to its leg there was a scroll addressed to him from James. Mechanically he went to the kitchen to get a bowl of water for the owl, that was smoothening her feathers all ruffled by the drizzling outside, while wondering about the scroll. Usually, James and Albus' letters were addressed to both he and Ginny and usually they were writing every fortnight or so. One so soon after their departure was unexpected, and Harry felt a slight concern knowing the boy propension for rules breaking.
Asking himself in what kind of mess his son had managed to get into in the space of scarcely twenty-four hours, he opened the scroll.

Dad! What the heck did you do here?
Yesterday as soon as we got to the dormitory, we heard the fifth year girls screaming as if they were possessed. They flung in the common room looking for me and honest to god I was scared for my life!
They surrounded me before I had time to understand what was going on and one of them grabbed me and asked if you had been here. She was so red it seemed she was about to explode! When I said that you actually did, they all started to shrill so loud they almost deafened me. Some were laughing hysterically some were actually crying! What the hell did you do? McGonagall has been forced to intervene and she was quite annoyed, I can tell you! Not at all surprised though, strangely enough. They all got a calming potion, but I still didn't get what happened. Don't ever do it again!
However, while I was taking the piss out of them with Francis, Ophelia (a girl in my year) heard me and called me a show-off prick.
I think I fancy the girl.
Say hello to mum,
James

Not many days later he got one from Albus.

Dad! I got in! I got in!
We had try-out yesterday and I got in! You would never guess in what role! I'm a seeker! I got my snitch in 2.37 minutes! Way faster than all the others! Greta, who was the best after me, got it in 4.56 minutes!
The captain was overjoyed. We are starting training straight away. He said that with me we are surely gonna win the cup. Last year Slytherin won it and he almost cried.
However, today, while I was doing some warming up, I heard some Slytherin saying that I got in just because I'm your son. I was a bit cast down and I told James. He said not to worry and not to listen to them. He said also that unfortunately bludgers are uncontrollable during matches and incidents happen. The next one is against Slytherin.
If we win the cup, can I have an owl too?
Hug mum from me,

Albus