Chapter 3 – James' letter

Their life was very much changed since Sunrise's birth, firstly because the silence, that Harry had scorned before her birth, seemed a gift straight from heaven now.
Everything had become somehow frenetic. Sunrise filled every possible crevice in equal measure, in the house, in their minds and in their days. The place was continuously animated by her laugh, her shrieks, her tantrums, her chatting. Not leaving them time to think about anything else beside her, not even their sorrow for Lily.
In a way it seemed as if this little girl had been designed with the goal to help them overcome grief.
The lump, when Lily's name was pronounced, was always there and Harry wondered very often if Lily would have liked Sunrise and always came to conclusion that she would have. It was sad to think that they would never get to know each other, and he was very eager for her to learn about Lily, but his lump always prevented him from speaking. He hoped egoistically that eventually, when she would have been a bit older, Ginny may have done it instead of him.
His worries about having another girl had proved to be completely nonsensical. He loved Sunrise with all himself, as much as he loved Lily and because of what happened to her, was even more attached to this new child of him.
The time spent with her was always very enjoyable, it was that period of her life when she was still too young to understand about his situation and didn't even notice reporters taking pictures of her outside, during walks or picnics. The time of questions was going to arrive eventually, and he was already preparing himself psychologically for it, but for the moment there was only the enjoyments not daunted by any uneasiness.
The Weasley family was overjoyed by this new entry, even George who, despite every time an afternoon was spent with them thanked god and all his angels very loudly not to have any kids and complaining bitterly about headache, was anyway always bringing her some small gifts, charmed by her vivacity and mischievousness.
Everybody loved Sunrise and Sunrise, cordially, paid back everybody with the same enthusiastic love, not shy by nature, expansive by character, was always ready to jump from arms to arms and she hadn't found a person she didn't like yet.
Although, despite everybody was loved by her well enough, she nurtured one real and strong passion.
'We got an owl today' Ginny informed Harry at dinner.
They heard a gasp as Sunrise, letting fall her plastic spoon, was staring Ginny wide eyes 'From Jamie?'
Every time she heard that sentence it was always the same question.
Ginny, smiling, stood up to take the letter from the mantelpiece 'Yes sweetie, from Jamie'
Sunrise stretched her hands toward the envelope 'I wannit, I wannit!' she hooted.
Ginny resumed her place around the table and unfolded it.
Sunrise, her request being ignored, outstretched dangerously from her highchair 'I wanniiiit!' she whined piteously. Harry shot forward to avoid an overthrowing of chair 'What do you want it for, Siry? You can't read!' he said keeping the chair in safety.
On Ginny starting to read 'Hey everybody…', Sunrise let out an eagle cringing shriek that induced Harry to let go of the chair immediately to clasp his ears close.
'I wannit I wannit I wannit!' She started to wail as if possessed, her face turning purple, tears plopping profusely and squirming madly toward the letter 'I waaannniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!'. Harry unclasped his ears, despite the risk to remain hearing impaired, to steady the chair again.
'Sunny, stop this instant' Ginny reprimanded her.
'I waaaaannnnniiiit!' she screamed at the top her lungs but seeing Ginny's face totally unmoved she redoubled her efforts and loudness 'I waaaaannnniiiiiit!' her face stricken was crimson and she was crying and howling so hard that started to choke over her own tears.
Harry, not bearing it any longer, snatched the letter from Ginny's hand and gave it to Sunrise who, as soon as it touched the tips of her chubby fingers, turned back the sweet, adorable child she usually was. Only a veil of tears and a snot down her nose testified the outburst.
Ginny scowled at him 'Harry, she must learn she cannot throw these tantrums all the time!'
'I was getting deaf, and she was suffocating. Let's her have it. She'll find out soon enough that she has no use for it.'
Sunrise was perusing it attentively, turning it in every direction and looking studiously at every corner. In the end she extended it to Ginny 'Mummy, read it'
'Magic word?' Harry said wiping the snot off her face.
'Pleeease!' she chirped all pleased with a sweet angelic smile.
'Good girl.' He said patting her head. Ginny arching an eyebrow clearly disagreeing, smothered the letter and started to peruse it in silence.
'He is fine…They lost a match'
'Against whom?' Harry interjected looking over her shoulder to read.
'Slytherin…'
'No way!'
'Apparently. But it seems it was only because….' She stopped suddenly her reading to glance a moment to Sunrise who was listening with a raptured expression 'Well… they haven't been very sportif.' She resumed clearing her voice.
'Yeah, right…' Harry snorted sulkily divining an inaccurate translation of the letter.
'Hanging out with a certain Camille…'
'Wasn't it Iris or something?'
'That was before Christmas, Harry!' she said reprovingly.
'Sorry… Losing track…They change so often'
'Doesn't say much about her anyway. Just mentioned it briefly… He never says much about all these girls, does he?' she mumbled to herself turning the letter.
Then she brightened 'Got an A in arithmancy! My good boy!' she said proudly.
'Jamie is a good boy' Sunrise agreed nodding her head vigorously like an old auntie making Harry snigger.
'Sweetie, there is also a message for you!' she turned to Sunrise who started to bounce up and down excitedly.
'He says….' Then she halted, her expression dropping slowly with every word read, then putting an extreme forced smile on 'he says to be a good girl and mind what mum and dad say'
Harry glanced again from over her shoulder suspiciously '…. Just give them hell, Midget! Tantrum's rain as if no tomorrow! Jamie'
Harry arched his eyebrows and smiled, promising himself to read the letter later as surely more than one censure had been imposed from Ginny.
Sunrise loved James in a rapturous way, she never had enough of him, always his name on her lips when he wasn't there and following him like a shadow when he was there. To her he was great and always right and would defend him at any extent. Whenever they raised their voice against him, she'd spring up on her scarce two feet height with an outraged expression 'Leave Jamie alone!' she had learned to say with quite a reproving expression.
James couldn't be indifferent to this devoted love; despite he had indeed tried very hard at the beginning going through all the stages of emotions regarding this new baby sister.
When Sunrise was only four months old and they were back for Christmas holiday he was disdainful of this whining baby, especially because Harry had taught them straight away how to change nappies and give her the bottle, so they could share the tiring overnight task of tending to her cries.
At first James, quite disgusted, had been outraged totally opposite to Albus who was quite willing to learn.
Although, one night, Harry waking up heard a hushed noise coming from her bedroom. Going there to check he found James with baby Sunrise in his arms, walking about the room, lulling and whispering something to her. He made sure not to be spotted and didn't try to overhear what was said. It was a very private moment he had stepped into and didn't seem right to linger. Although, once in bed he found himself smiling and hugged Ginny who, after four months, was finally sleeping soundly.
For the whole of their Christmas holiday, James was the only one waking up at night to tend to her (Albus, despite his willingness, had such a deep sleep that nothing woke him up) but during daytime, when people were looking, pretended to be totally indifferent to her.
During the first summer holiday Sunrise was stumbling behind him all day long, crying pitifully if left behind obliging him to stop to pick her up inspite of himself. She had started to say a few jibbers and 'Jamie' was one of them. It was repeated constantly.
James was very much irked by the stickiness of this "midget" as he called her and was living with an endless sulk on his face.
By the next Christmas holiday Sunrise had started to jibber with more conviction although not for that reason more understandably. James was the main object of the gibbering. He had grown bemused then. Especially when it was found out that on James' lap, she ceased even the worst of tantrums.
He spent all his time at home in a state of bewilderment with her on his lap.
By the next summer holidays, he finally succumbed to this flow of unconditioned love that was poured on him without apparent cause. Any pretence was dropped, and he learned to spend his time with Sunrise hanged around his neck. The last Christmas holiday going to wake James up for running, Harry found Sunrise sleeping soundly in his bed almost every morning. 'She had a nightmare' he'd say as an excuse every time taking her back to bed.
Harry wasn't sure he believed it but didn't object.
James was fast becoming a man. He was as tall as Harry, he needed to shave from time to time even if hairs on his face were still in patches, and he had grown out the lankiness of young teenagers. Since Harry had introduced him to the running and workout routine, he had never dropped it, doing steadily even at Hogwarts. He had a good heart, very protective in regards of Albus and Sunrise and, in his way, very affectionate and respectful to Ginny. Harry was proud of him, yet their relationship was still a strained one. James was rebellious and polemical, very easily irritated especially in Harry's regard.
He nurtured very contrasting feelings toward Harry, that showed itself clearly when back from Hogwarts. At school he had to confront himself continuously with Harry's fame. Albus, after the first hesitation arriving there, had learned to deal with it quite well and didn't seem too bothered by it. James, however, probably because more boisterous or probably just because of the two was the one that most resembled him, was struggling very much to find his own place and felt greatly overshadowed. He was influenced by what people said and published about Harry and in the months when they were apart, had some difficulties in extricating the real from the idealised one. It all ended up in a great insecurity and resentment.
Harry, sensing all this aversion, was pained by it but being aware of James' internal struggle and hardships at school tried his best to overcome, every time he was back, the distance created between them. It wasn't easy as neither Harry, nor James, were very communicative, enveloped in their own privacy. Probably too similar without realising or admitting it, to be able to deal with each other at best, but they had found a way to connect through the morning runs. Silent and rancorous on James' side at first but as days rolled on, he managed to lower his barriers, resentment was put aside, and he was able to see behind what people believed Harry to be. Then they could finally start to enjoy each other company. Unfortunately, it had a short duration, back at Hogwarts he would fall all over again in his insecurities and, consequently, resentment submerged by the consequences of Harry's popularity.
Once in bed that night, Harry was reading again his letter with Ginny's head rested on his shoulder.
'Harry?' she said softly to call for his attention.
'Mmmh?'
She didn't speak straight away, her eyes on the parchment 'Do you think James…?'
'James what?' he asked turning the other side of the paper all taken by the account of the last match that Ginny had resumed with a sentence while it took most of the letter.
'You know… All these girls…'
Harry stopped his reading a moment peering to Ginny. He smiled understanding the meaning of that unfinished sentence 'Yes, Ginny.'
No answer came for a while and then 'Are you sure?'
'Yes, I'm sure' he said this time chuckling.
'How can you be sure? Did he tell you?'
'It's kind of obvious, don't you think? He is seventeen after all'
'Not quite'
'Well, he is seventeen minus a few months. Put it as you like but he is definitely shagging as a rabbit and much good it will do to him'
Ginny sat bold upright and nudged him on the shoulder 'He is too young!'
Harry arched his eyebrows and stared at her meaningfully until she blushed.
'Bloody Dean. I'll never forgive him' he said sourly dropping the letter on the bedside table.
Ginny laughed heartily and then added cheekily 'I may say the same of a person we both know'
'At least in my mind there was only you. And I'm ready to bet it wasn't reciprocal'
She curled up on his side 'Maybe it was…' she said yawning.
'Was it?' he asked hopeful.
'No actually it wasn't, you are right'
Harry was by then ready to enter in a vicious sullen mood when she added 'Well, maybe fleetingly…'
'Really?' he said grasping her swiftly and blocking her on the mattress. She exploded in a laugh.
'Fleetingly, hey?' he asked brushing his lips from her mouth down to her chin and ending up on her neck.
'Maybe a bit more than fleetingly' she murmured giggling softly.
'Mmmhh.. Better…' he said attacking her nightshirt 'Let's see if with some effort we may find out that you were thinking only about me'
She stopped him 'No, Harry, wait, I want to talk some more'
'We talk later' he said continuing his exploration.
'No, now' she said sitting up and shacking Harry off who, disappointed, eased himself up on his elbow with a frown.
'Did you talk to James about… you know…'
'Sex do you mean?' he mumbled sullen 'Yes, I did and to Albus too.'
'And they know how not to…'
'Yes, they know, Ginny. I instructed them thoroughly.' He said less sullen hypnotized by the way her nightshirt half open shifted lightly with her breathing.
She tilted her head on one side making her silky hair sliding off her shoulder leaving her neck deliciously exposed. Harry was more than ready to close the conversation to start where interrupted, when she piped out 'You know, you are not very good to…'
'To what?' he jerked, his attention returning immediately to her words with a slight alarm.
'You know…'
Moment of sheer panic for Harry.
'Birth control…'
Ah…
'Well, I may not be good with practical but I'm good with theoretical. Believe me you can rest assured you won't become a grandma before time.' He reassured her slumping back on his pillow and yawning.
He hadn't any worry whatsoever in regards of that matter and he was glad James was enjoying his youth. Sometimes he kind of missed not having experienced the same while at Hogwarts; it seemed exciting when Seamus (obviously not Dean) was sneaking out at night-time. Being less naïve and more self-conscious he could have probably experienced what James was living now but, a bit because of his naivete, a bit because there were many things going on in his life at that time, he never got the occasion. Or better, looking back, he had had plenty of occasions and never realised.
His only worry was coming from Albus.
He was fourteen and the only girl he was hanging out was Rose, who, in the last year, had grown very fast and was by then a woman through and through, in mind and overall in body and Harry was sure his son had noticed it. Usually very chatty and communicative, had been strangely private the last Christmas holiday and when Rose was paying a visit, which wasn't seldom, they would be close in Albus' room and a suspicious loud music was all it could be heard from the outside in stark comparison to only months before when, door wide open, he could hear them laughing and talking from downstair. Harry had a quite precise idea of what was happening behind that door.
He made an allusion on the subject to James (who surely must have been aware of what was going on) hoping to be enlightened but he had turned a deaf ear and had pretended not to understand him.
Being them cousins, if anything was indeed happening, would have made a bit of a spiky problem. Between muggles it was unusual and frowned upon. It seemed a bit more acceptable in the magical community. Although, usually only by those who wished to keep a line of pure blood. Not such families being many it was the only way to guarantee that. But they didn't believe in any of that rubbish, and he was doubtful how Hermione and overall, Ginny, who was secretly planning with Luna, Albus and Stella's wedding since she was born, would receive such knowledge. And worst of all, how Ron would react to it as he was watching with increasing alarm Rose entering in womanhood and starting to eye suspiciously every boy that, by intention or mistake, crossed his gaze with her.
He promised himself to entreat for more clarity from Albus once home and in the meantime contented himself to hope to be wrong.
'We should get James a gold watch' Ginny interrupted his thinking snuggling under his arm.
'Plenty of time' he answered looking at the clock on the mantelpiece, it revealed quite a late hours, and his alarm was set up very early in the morning to be able to go to run in the park.
'I would like to go and get it this weekend.'
Harry sighed 'All right' surrendering to his wife's incapability of doing things last minute 'But we will change our faces by magic. I want the day to be a relaxing one.'
He switched off the light and slipped under the duvet. Keeping Ginny by his side, he kissed her head inhaling the scent of her shampoo and he felt the usual contentment in having her close to him.
'I thought we could surprise James at Hogwarts the day of his birthday and bring it to him.'
'If we change our faces, we can go wherever you wish'
'I want to go as myself though. It's his birthday after all. I don't want him to receive best wishes from some strangers' she pleaded.
'Ginny, it would be like entering the lion's cage. I would never get out alive' he said closing his eyes, tired and ready to nod off.
'But I'd like to…' she purred gliding her hand under his t-shirt and moving it dangerously close to the hem of his pants.
He opened his eyes, awake and ready for activity.
'Well... I'm not sure it will be such a good idea' he said helping the situation removing his t-shirt.
'Are you sure?' she said in a lower warm voice, her hand moving on his torso as she prodded herself up on an elbow.
'It may be difficult' he answered lowering his voice also but was starting not to be properly in control of what was coming out from his mouth.
'Are you sure?' she repeated slipping sinuously on the top of him.
He let his hands moving on her thighs and up to her waist 'Maybe we can find a way...' he conceded.
'Can we?' she murmured removing her nightshirt in a fluent movement that made her body arch and Harry's breath blunt.
'Positive. We'll definitely find it' he murmured just as she stooped on him brushing his lips with her own.
The exchange getting compelling making them quiver with longing and anticipation, when a small voice coming from somewhere in the room made them jump out of their skin so much, they both gasped loudly.
Ginny rolled off quickly groping the bed for her nightshirt and Harry sat bolt upright.
The voice sounded again in the room.
'Daddy, I had a bad dream.'