JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Sun Moon Stars Chapter 62: Quarreler's Pass, a JoJo's Bizarre Adventure + Amphibia Crossover fanfic

Johan looked at the map as he sat beside Anne and Hop Pop. "According to this, we're halfway to Newtopia now."

"Yep, we're making good time," said Hop Pop.

"I gotta say, this trip has been a lot smoother than I thought it'd be," agreed Anne.

"Yep."

Then, all three frowned and Anne said, "But the one thing I'd change..."

Hop Pop said, "The only thing I'd change..."

"Stop pushing me!"

"NO! You stop pushing ME!"

"Is that," finished Johan when they heard Sprig and Polly arguing in the fwagon. AGAIN.

"Get that stupid stuff out of my face!" shouted Polly.

"Well, sorry for showing you all this cool moss I found!" shouted Sprig before there came the sound of a punch. "Ow! What was that for?"

"I saw a punch bug! Punch bug!"

Sprig got punched again. "For the last time, I'm not playing punch bu..." He got punched again. "Ow!"

Johan put his hands to his temples and rubbed them as he let out a growl of frustration. "I swear those kids are making me so stressed out, my hair is turning silver. Look at me! I'm looking older than I should!" He exhaled and said, a little more calmly, "It's times like this I'm glad I'm an only child."

"I know how you feel," said Anne. "Two weeks of nonstop arguing really starting to wear on me."

"At least they're keeping it in the fwagon this time." Ever heard of the term "tempting fate", Hop Pop?

Polly came out of the fwagon, wearing Sprig's hat and doing a perfect imitation of his voice. "Look everyone, I'm Sprig. Look at all this dumb moss I found." She threw the moss in Hop Pop's face. "Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Woooooooow!"

"Oh, yeah?!" Sprig said as he came out of the fwagon and did a perfect imitation of Polly's voice. "Well, I'm Polly, and I decided we're all playing punch bug." He punched Anne in the shoulder. "Punch bug!"

"Wow! Wow!"

"Punch bug! Punch bug!"

"EEEEEEENOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUGH!" Johan shouted before he summoned DARE who proceeded to pummel the kids. "MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA, MUDA!"

Sprig and Polly were sent flying back into the fwagon, groaning in pain. Johan exhaled and said, "Finally, some peace and quiet."

"JoJo," said Hop Pop sternly. "We all agreed not to get violent whenever Sprig and Polly act up!"

"I didn't," Johan said. "Though I have to admit, their impressions are spot on."

"Regardless, it's not going to solve anything," said Anne. "As soon as they recover, they're just gonna start arguing again. If only there were some way to get them to stop fighting."

"We could always cut out their tongues," said Johan. "Then cut off their limbs."

Anne and Hop Pop glared at him. Sprig and Polly popped out and shouted, "We heard that!"

"I'm joking! I'm joking!" Johan insisted. "Well, we could try hypnotism, but there's a chance it won't work and they'll beat each other with the pocket watch."

Suddenly, Hop Pop abruptly stopped Bessie, nearly sending everyone flying off. "What the heck, dude?" Anne exclaimed. "I almost bit my tongue."

"Shh! Look!" The old frog pointed to sign planted in a fork in the road. Polly read it out loud, "'Quarreler's Pass. A road to reconciliation for weary travel-mates.'" She turned to Sprig and asked, "Okay, so what?"

A feeling of dread came over Sprig as he said, "Wait, Polly, you don't think they're gonna..." Johan kicked Sprig and Polly off the fwagon. "WHAT?!"

"You're seriously going to leave us here?!" shouted Polly.

"Aw, quit your bellyaching," said Hop Pop as he flipped the sign around, revealing a map of the pass. "It says right here that the paths meet up eventually."

"Your fighting is driving us nuts!" shouted Anne as she pulled her hair. "You brought this upon yourselves!"

"This is all Sprig's fault for being so zippy and obnoxious all the time!" Polly shouted as she roughly slapped Sprig's hat back on his head.

"Me?" shouted Sprig as he adjusted the hat and slapped her back. "You're the one who's punching everyone!"

"SHUT UP! BOTH OF YOU!" shouted Johan. "This is exactly what we're talking about!"

"See you kids on the other side and good luck," said Hop Pop.

"Here. If you get in trouble, just call JoJo with this." Anne was about to toss Sprig her cell phone when Johan stopped her. "Did you forget that there's no cell service here?!"

Anne said in realization, "Ooh. Right. Oh, well!" She cracked Bessie's reigns and fwagon took off, leaving Polly and Sprig alone.

"Unbelievable," said Sprig. "They ditched us!"

"Let's just get this over with," said Polly before she tripped him and took off. "Try to keep up, slowpoke."

"Oh no, you don't," he said as he grabbed her by the tail and ran ahead of her.

They continued down the trail, slapping each other the whole way, until they came across a sign that read, "The Beam of Balance". It wasn't so much a beam and more like a log that was stuck between two cliffs over a pit of sharp rocks. Polly chuckled. "More like the beam of... Race you across!" She pushed Sprig down and hopped across the log.

"Hey! Get back here, you dang cheater!" he shouted as he chased after her.

"Eat my dust, lame-o!" Her cockiness turned into fear when the log started to roll, making her fall off. "Help me, lame-o!"

"Hang on!" Sprig grabbed Polly with his tongue and pulled her into his mouth.

"Thanks," she said as he spat her out.

"Polly, I think we're supposed to go across slowly." Sprig got on all fours and slowly crawled across the log with Polly following him. "Okay. This works. Yeah. Slow and steady."

Polly began to lose her patience. "This is gonna take forever. Let's just jump."

"Jump? I can't make that even with Ripple, it's wider than Croaker's Creek.""

Polly giggled. "Remember when you tried to jump over Croaker's Creek?"

The memory of the incident made Sprig frown. "Yeah, don't remind me."

"You landed right on a cactus flower! All those spikes sticking out of your..." Polly suddenly gasp in realization. "Wait! Remember Croaker's Creek?"

"Yeah! I don't wanna talk about it!"

"No, no! There was a rickety bridge, remember? And the only way we got across was..."

"The walk-and-roll! Polly, you're a flipping genius!" Sprig raised his arms up in excitement only to grab onto the log again when it started to move again. "Forgot where I was."

Sprig placed Polly on his head. "Let's roll! And walk," she said.

So how does this technique work? By using Ripple to walk across the log while Polly rolled back and forth on his arms, Sprig was able to keep his balance and make it across safely and jump onto the other side of pit safely. "We did it!" they cheered.

"Now, let's breeze through this thing so we can slap Hop Pop," said Polly.

"I support that," said Sprig. Then he thought out loud, "Huh. Wonder how those three are doing without us?"

Back with Anne, Johan and Hop Pop, they drove down the road with Anne and Johan resting while Hop Pop drove Bessie. "Finally. Peace and quiet." He paused. "Almost a little too quiet." He paused some more then chuckled nervously. "Almost a little awkward, isn't it?" Anne and Johan looked at him. "So, are you two dating?"

Anne kicked him off the fwagon. She took the reins as Johan looked back and asked, "You think he'll catch up?"

"Eventually," said Anne. There was a moment's silence. Then she asked, "Say, I've been wanting to ask something."

"If it's about going on a date, I don't wanna..."

"No, not that! I wanted to ask, what was the second reason your dad killed Diavolo? You mentioned him selling drugs to children was the first reason, but what was the second?"

Johan said, "Oh." He exhaled. "He tried to kill his own daughter."

"WHAT?!" Anne and Hop Pop exclaimed as soon as the latter caught up.

"Diavolo was a man driven by fear and paranoia. He believed that the past can be used against you, no matter how insignificant it may seem. Anyone who tried to figure out his identity ended up as sliced up pieces preserved in slabs of formaldehyde or, if he was in a good mood, shot in the head. His Stand, King Crimson, had the power to skip over and erase time, a representation of him wanting to erase his own past. So, when he found out about Zia Trish's existence, he tricked Dad, Zio Buccellati and his friends to go on an escort mission to bring Trish to him, promising her safety. But in reality, he wanted to kill her himself so that he can keep his identity secret. He was already on Zio Buccellati's list for selling drugs to children, but him trying to kill Zia Trish was what cemented it. In the end, Dad killed Diavolo and took over Passione...but not before Diavolo killed Zio Buccellati, Zio Abbacchio, and Zio Narancia in the process."

"If he wanted her dead," said Anne. "Why go through all that trouble instead of just killing her then and there?"

"Like I said, Diavolo was driven by fear and paranoia. My guess is he didn't really think things through."

"Fear can do that to a frog," said Hop Pop. "Makes you do stupid things." Like hiding a music box that could get you back home under a tree.

Johan gave him the stink eye. "You mean like ditching your grandkids with no way of communicating with them in case something bad happens?"

Hop Pop made probably the best "Oh, crap!" face Johan had ever seen.

Meanwhile, Sprig and Polly were using teamwork to overcome the obstacles before them, singing a little song as well. "They call us the impossible two, a super-duper brother-sister crew, we're a team that can't be beat, always gonna land on our feet, we're almost all the way through, but the end of the pass is fake."

Wait, what?

Sprig bumped into the painted wall and Polly repeated, "It's fake."

Sprig knocked his hand on the wall and said in confusion, "What the heck? Someone blocked off the pass and painted it to look like the end? Weird."

"Must be another test. What if we took (points it) that tunnel over there?" The entrance of the cave Polly pointed to had the words "This weigh also gud" and painted on it. Yeah, that definitely would have raised red flags. But Sprig and Polly just walked right in.

"Okay," said Sprig.

"All right! Test passed!" cheered Polly. As they walked inside, Sprig grabbed a glowing mushroom and Polly said, "Hmm, that was too easy."

"Or maybe we're just the best!" Sprig said as he and Polly high fived.

As they walked further down the cave, they noticed that the passage was becoming smaller and smaller, forcing Sprig to get on his hands and knees to crawl through. "Oh, perspective," he said.

"Clever," said Polly, who had no trouble going through thanks to her small size.

"Okay. Not much farther. Hopefully." Suddenly, Polly let out a scream. "Oops. My bad!" Sprig said as he lifted his foot off her tail.

She shoved him aside and spat in his face as she shouted, "Watch where you're putting your big, dumb feet!"

Sprig kicked her in the face as he shouted, "You watch where you put your big, dumb spit!"

"Ugh! You're so annoying!"

"No, you are!"

They kept arguing until they came across two separate tunnels. "Would you look at that. Two tunnels. Why don't you take that one and find another pollywog to step on?"

"Fine! And maybe you can annoy someone else in that one!" Sprig pointed to the one on the left.

"FINE!"

So, the two of them went down the separate tunnels.

All alone, Polly was still fuming. "He thinks I'm annoying? He's the annoying one."

"I can hear you!" Sprig's voice rang out. "These rock walls are surprisingly thin!"

"YOU'RE surprisingly thin!"

"Good one." Polly froze. Who said that? She slowly turned around and came face to face with a giant olm, a cave-dwelling salamander-like amphibian. "Hi." Polly screamed in horror. "Whoops, didn't mean to frighten you."

"That's okay."

"I MEANT TO EAT YOU!"

Polly screamed again and fled for her life with the olm chasing after her.

Sprig heard Polly's screams. "There's a giant wormy thing! It's trying to eat me!"

"I'll save you!" Sprig shouted, only to bump into another olm.

"And I'll save you for dessert!"

Sprig screamed and jumped back, only to fall down a hole...

...and into a mountain of bones. "Well, this isn't a good sign," he said.

Suddenly, Polly fell down and landed next to Sprig. She looked around and said, "Well, this isn't a good sign."

"I just said that!"

Either way, they both came to the realization that Quarreler's Pass was not a shortcut, but a trap set up by the two olms. Speak of the devil, the olms came out of the shadows and smiled at them.

"Ah, good catch, Lysil," said the male.

"Yes, Angwin, and they sound juicy," said the female.

Polly let out a scream. "How many of you weirdos are there?"

The olms laughed as they showed their full appearance. It wasn't two separate olms, but a pair of conjoined twins fused at the hips. "Only one," they said.

"WHAT THE..."

Sprig shushed Polly and whispered, "I don't think they can see us."

"No, but we can hear you," said Lysil. "And it's only a matter of time before my bro and I find ya!"

"That's how we olms do," said Angwin.

"Oh, yeah? Well..." Sprig covered Polly's mouth and ran, but the sound of bones clattering beneath his feet made it easy for the conjoined twins to chase after him. "Into the crack!" Polly shouted. Sprig slid into the crack in the wall, and Angwin tried to fit his head in, but it was too small.

"Oh, great. We lost 'em in the crack 'cause you were dragging your feet," Angwin accused his sister.

"Okay. A, we don't have feet. And B, I could've helped if you'd bothered to communicate at all," Lysil argued.

"I said 'Over here!' Try listening for once."

"Ugh! Just help me find a stick to pry them out of the crack. You are literally a pain in my backside."

"Ugh! I'm a pain? You're the pain!"

"No, you are!"

In their hiding place, Sprig and Polly listened to the olms continue to argue until they couldn't take it anymore. Sprig exclaimed, "Ah! All this bickering is driving me crazy."

"It's like wearing a beehive on your head," agreed Polly.

"Can you imagine having to listen to this for more than an hour?"

"Or...two weeks?" asked Polly in realization.

"From the back of a wagon?" Sprig asked, coming to the same realization.

At last, Sprig and Polly knew how Anne, Hop Pop and Johan felt. Sprig flicked a pebble before saying, "I guess Hop Pop, JoJo and Anne were right to ditch us here."

"If we get out of this, maybe we can call a truce," said Polly. "Not argue for a couple weeks? Give them a break?"

"Deal."

The two of them spat into their hands then shook said hands. "Now then, how to escape two, mostly blind, argumentative siblings?" asked Polly. Then she gasped as an idea hit her. "I have an idea that might make an impression," she said, giving Sprig a wink.

"Something in your eye?"

"Just follow my lead!"

"Okay, whatever. Let's just eat these kids and get back to never talking to each other again," Angwin snapped.

"Ugh! Finally. A good idea out of your mouth. Now, let's find that stick already," said Lysil.

Just then, Lysil thought she heard Angwin say, "Do it yourself, you smelly dum-dum!"

"Who you calling dum-dum? Yeah, I found your stick. Right here!" Lysil smacked her conjoined brother upside the head with a big bone.

"Ow! Hey! Watch where you're swinging that thing!"

Then Angwin thought he heard Lysil say, "Not my fault, you've got such a humongous swollen head, brother!"

"Hey! Now that's uncalled for! Take this!" He bit into Lysil's neck and shoved her into a wall, causing a rockslide.

"Biting, is it," snarled Lysil as she bit back.

Sprig and Polly, who were good at mimicking voices as well as throwing them, leaped from their hiding spot and fled. Unfortunately, the conjoined twins fighting caused the ground to shake and it made Sprig fly up and into Angwin's mouth. "SPRIG!" shouted Polly.

"Belly flop!"

Lysil slammed into Angwin's stomach, making him spit out Sprig. "Get up! Come on!" shouted Polly as she tugged on his arm.

"Move, move, move," Sprig shouted as rocks fell from the ceiling.

They hopped out of the cave and just as it started to collapse. Even still, they could hear the conjoined twins arguing.

"Mom always liked me best!"

"That's because she had terrible taste!"

Polly shook her head. "Whoo, man. Promise me we never end up like that."

"Us? Are you kidding?" asked Sprig. "We're way too good of a team."

"Bring it in, buddy." The two siblings hugged. After ending the hug, Polly looked around and realized where they were. "Hmm, looks like we're back on the road. Where's Anne, JoJo and Hop Pop?"

"Yeah, they should be here by now," said Sprig. "Wait, do you hear that?"

The fwagon came around a corner, Anne, JoJo and Bessie looking very bored out of their minds while Hop Pop babbled away, "A relationship is like a farm. You plant a seed of trust and it grows into a better relationship."

"Anne, over here! JoJo!" called out Sprig as he and Polly caught up with the fwagon.

"Hi! Sup?" asked Polly.

Anne had never been so happy to see them. "You two! Thank frog!"

"Anne, you'll be glad to know we've decided to stop..."

Anne interrupted Sprig as she grabbed him and Polly and placed them next to her and Johan. "I don't care! I need you to fill the silences. Hop Pop can't deal with them! He can't deal with them!"

Hop Pop noticed the kids for the first time and said, "Oh, hey, kids. Didn't see you there. How'd the trials go?"

"It was fine, except for the bloodthirsty olms," said Polly.

"And you'll be glad to know we've decided to stop arguing..."

Hop Pop interrupted Sprig, "That's great, Sprig. Anyway, we were just getting into the nitty-gritty. Now that you guys are back, we can talk about JoJo and Anne's relationship again." Anne kicked him off the fwagon and off a cliff.

"I'm sorry, can we get back to the 'bloodthirsty olms' thing?" asked Johan, not really caring that Hop Pop could potentially be dead.

To be continued ➟