Hexside School's Roll of Dishonour
Part 11
A/N: Heat... too much... need ice...
Adrian Vernworth) For impersonating me for an entire day while I was off sick, you will now spend the rest of the year cleaning the school toilets by yourself.
Alador Blight) The human phrase 'all's fair in love and war' is not to be used as a personal philosophy. Ms Omen may have found your actions charming for reasons I cannot fathom, but I will not condone any future attempts to court your girlfriend involving pitched battles between hordes of Abominations and swarms of Oracle summons.
Amber Sap) 'Rock Music' does not mean what you think it means. Stop smashing boulders with a mallet and passing it off as music.
Darius Deamonne) I don't care that you thought he could do better. Reign in your jealousy and stop trying to teleport Ms Omen off a cliff.
Derwin Beck) 'I was bored' is not an excuse. Release the spell and return the school's mops to normal.
Eberwolf Hart) When asked what your favourite animal or beast is, a simple explanation will suffice, or maybe a picture. You do not need to summon a giant manticore in the middle of class, no matter how well-trained you claim she is.
Edalyn Clawthorne) Stop encouraging Mr Park and Mr Field. We will not, under any circumstances, be setting up any alcohol brewing facilities on school grounds, and if I discover any of you doing so behind my back, you will be joining Mr Vernworth.
Hettie Cutburn) You are terrifying. I mean it, you are the single most terrifying person I have ever met. Your ability to inspire fear with your mere presence alone is astonishing. You do not need to further prove it, so please, stop doing… whatever you are doing in the infirmary. I would ask, but I worry I will regret doing so.
Katya Meow) As impressive as it is that you were able to write and perform the entire thing yourself, I must insist that you stop holding performances of your musical about Miss Clawthorne and Mx Whispers in the cafeteria at lunchtime.
Kikimora Minnow) No, you may not set up an 'Emperor's Coven' Coven. Besides the obvious confusion this would inevitably cause, I am quite certain impersonating a Coven Guard would land you in the Conformatorium.
Lilith Clawthorne) While there are no rules against students dyeing their hair, I highly recommend you ask someone else to do so for you until you are able to get it right yourself. The constantly-shifting shades of pink and blue were striking, but also quite unsettling.
Morton Law) No potion should ever be labelled '10% non-lethal'.
Odalia Omen) My warning to Mr Blight applies to you as well. Also, I recommend you steer clear of Mr Deamonne for the foreseeable future.
Perry Porter) Hexside School of Magic and Demonics is not a nature reserve. Stop commenting on the 'mating dances' of your classmates, unless you wish to be hospitalized by them.
Raine Whispers) I understand that you were quite embarrassed by Ms Meow's musical. That being said, locking yourself away in your own locker and refusing to leave for three whole days was a bit of an overreaction.
Severine Fang) I take back what I said before: 'Tiny Cat Magic' is indeed a force to be reckoned with. Now please, call off the army of ten thousand miniature jaguars you sent to Bonesborough before this escalates into all-out war.
Steve Tholomule) Welcome to Hexside. Yes, this is how is usually is around here, stop panicking.
Roger Wrath) Ms Meow has refused your challenge of a fight to death, as has Mx Whispers. Stop sending them threatening messages.
Hello again folks. I'm Not Scot, and I'm melting.
Steve probably wasn't at Hexside when everyone else was, but I wanted to include him anyway, so let's just say he was.
I am in desperate need of a cold drink, so it's time to take my leave.
Until next time,
Not Scot.