Ch.1 Change
Nothing ever stays the same for too long. Sure, there are extended moments in time, where you can fall into routine, where you can feel comfortable. But inevitably, things change, even if somethings remain constant as everything else moves around them, like fixed points of existence that can be relied on. Jump City was always bustling with life, the water lapped against the shore of the island of Titans Tower every day, the fridge was perpetually out of soy milk, the list goes on. But most importantly, people change. Even the most laid back of individuals will be molded by the events that unfold around them, resulting in the creation of new personality traits, flaws, friendships and enemies. Sometimes the changes are subtle, a simple signifier of someone growing up. On other occasions, change is forced on the individual. A seismic event could shake the foundation of their values to the core. A stroke of bad luck could redefine a person's very being in the wrong circumstances.
The green-skinned teenager sat on the rocky shores of Titan island, skimming stones along the surface of the water, a content look on his face. For anybody who cast a glance at him, he would like he was at peace with the world. It was late evening, the only light being cast coming from the moon high overhead and the flashing strobe lights emanating from Titans Tower. He stared over the calm waters of the bay towards Jump City. Change was inevitable, but getting the most out of it and finding something new, something exciting…well that was just the next challenge wasn't it? The shapeshifter of the Teen Titans skimmed his final stone before allowing his mind to recall the events that had him so nostalgic. After all, what fun is change without the story that brought it on.
The Battle against the Brotherhood of Evil had been every bit the nightmare Beast Boy had imagined it would be. Long nights alone, venturing from place to place, either to connect with a new recruit for the titans, or to follow up on a lead from Robin or the Doom Patrol. If there was one thing Beast Boy hated more than anything, it was being alone. After Trigon, who could've blamed the changeling for thinking that the titans might get a moment to breath, but no, they were shoved straight into someone else's war….the Doom patrol's war...HIS war. He didn't want any of his family involved in this. The Brotherhood didn't mess around. They weren't another Hive Five or any other group of common villains. The Brotherhood were unforgiving, merciless, they would not hesitate to take life to further their goals. He didn't want his new family anywhere near those monsters and he'd tried to convince them to stay away. He'd watched the Doom Patrol's ship rise into the sky above the Brotherhood's last base in the Amazon, and even though he could practically feel Raven's devious grin burning through the back of his skull at the mere mention of "Garfield", nothing could distract him from the conversation he knew he had to have:
Beast Boy turned to face the Titans, a sheepish look on his face now that his real name had just been revealed to his closest friends. But after a few seconds, Beast Boy steeled himself and looked at the group in front of him with a new resolve. They were his family, or the closest thing he'd ever had to one, and he was not going to let them risk their lives for someone else's cause. Robin, ever the detective was the first to notice his change of expression.
"Beast Boy, you okay? If your real name bothers you that much, we won't use it?"
The statement was more searching than anything, and it was enough to draw the attention of the other titans to the turmoil on Beast Boy's face.
Beast Boy took a deep breath and counted down from three in his head. "Mento asked me if I would be willing to help them over the next few months when the Brotherhood show their faces again….and I think you guys already know what I would have said too that."
The reactions were mixed. Robin looked at Beast Boy with something akin to empathy. Beast Boy didn't know it, but Robin knew well what it was like to have a previous mentor call you back, even when you weren't on the best of terms with them. Starfire eyes actively dropped downwards. Beast Boy knew she wasn't mad at him, but after the last mission, where everything could have gone so wrong if the titans hadn't recovered the fallen members of the Doom Patrol or if the Titans were even a few seconds later, she definitely wasn't ready to see her group in that kind of situation again anytime soon. Cyborg looked like he was about to blow a gasket. He hadn't been a fan of how Mento had handled the situation before the last mission and the fact that Mento had once again gone behind their backs to speak to Beast Boy, even after he admitted that they'd been a benefit was an underhanded action he wouldn't forget or forgive anytime soon. Raven just stared at Beast Boy, but not in any accusatory way. He knew that she was the only one that thought that he should be allowed to make his own decision about what he did, and she was offering him the same opportunity now.
It was Cyborg who broke the silence, "Beast Boy, you're not in the Doom Patrol anymore, you're a Titan, this isn't and doesn't have to be your fight, even if you said yes, you can contact the Doom Patrol and let them know you've changed your mind." Beast Boy didn't even get a chance to answer, because Robin beat him to it. "No Cyborg, that's not how it works". Beast Boy didn't even realize he'd averted his gaze from the others until he was startled back to reality by Robin's gloved hand on his shoulder. "I know what it's like to have someone like Mento in your life….it's complicated and you know you don't owe them the allegiance that they think they deserve…but in the end, you know that you're going let yourself get roped in…because that's what family does." Beast Boy averted his eyes from Robin's. Not usually the type for an emotional heart-to heart, let alone in front of others, Beast Boy couldn't help but be caught off guard. He hadn't even got to the part that he was nervous about yet.
"Robin's right…I have to do this. Beast Boy sighed, "If I don't now I never will", he thought to himself. He took another breath, took a step back from Robin and looked at all four of the titans. If he was going to do this, he was going to address them all. "I was always going to say yes...the Doom Patrol was a home for me for so long….and if they need my help, I'm going to be there for them." Robin and Raven looked satisfied with the conviction in Beast Boy's statement. Cyborg still looked like he would need a few hours in the Titans gym to burn off whatever amount of anger had been pent up. Starfire still looked saddened, but she looked up at Beast Boy, with the patented fire in her eyes that all the Titans knew meant she was ready to fight. "You are very brave for taking this on Beast Boy, even when it's not your responsibility anymore. All of us will be ready to fight alongside side you against this Evil Brotherhood when the time comes."
Beast Boy looked at her, his defiant stare replaced by something a bit more muted.
"No.. you won't be."
At that, all of them looked at him in confusion. Even Cyborg's rage seemed to have disappeared.
"Ehmmmm….why? Are we going somewhere? Am I the only one that wasn't told about a titans holiday sans Beast Boy?" Starfire looked at Cyborg, her confused look only getting more promient. "We've never carried out one of these group holidays, and the first one we do is going to be without Beast Boy?! Robin is this true?"
Robin looked legitimately lost for words, but Beast Boy cut in. He was going to drive his point home, no matter how much he knew it was going to hurt. "No Star, there isn't a group holiday….well not one I've been told about anyway. What I mean is, when the Brotherhood come calling again, I'll deal with it. I don't want you guys involved". There was a stunned silence for a few seconds, during which time Beast Boy tried to gauge the expressions of his teammates. "Please, give me a sign that at least one of them will go along with this, if I can get one of them on my side, they can help me convince the others", he thought to himself. Slowly, but surely, the stunned faces of the titans slowly began to change, and Beast Boy could tell immediately that this was going to be a one-sided argument. "Oh boy, here we go…".
"I'm sorry….WHAT!?" Beast Boy probably should have expected Cyborg to be the one to explode. "You're serious…..you're actually serious….Beast Boy, there is absolutely no shot in hell that you are taking this on by yourself!" Starfire had turned on Beast Boy, with the same fury in her eyes. "I must agree with Cyborg! We have been through the lows and highs as team and we will NOT stand by for you to go face this Brotherhood alone!"
Beast Boy was about to retort when Robin cut across him. "Why? Why do you want to go it alone?" Beast Boy met Robin's eyes and was surprised to not see anger. There was confusion, maybe even a little hurt? Beast Boy cleared his throat and tried to sound as authoritative as he could. It was most certainly not how he felt. "The Brotherhood was my problem before I met any of you, and it's still my problem and my problem alone now. I'm not going to risk you guys getting killed fighting an enemy you shouldn't have ever had to fight in the first place".
Starfire immediately interjected. "Friend Beast Boy, we have fought numerous enemies together and come out victorious every time, when we fight together-".
"This is different Star!", snapped Beast Boy. Starfire looked shocked for a split second, before her resolve returned with a vengeance. Beast Boy couldn't help but drop his façade a little bit. He still hadn't looked up from when he snapped, so he could only guess what the Titans reaction was to that. For a split second, he thought he'd actually got his point across, when a new voice joined the conversation.
"Trigon was my problem before I met anybody here Beast Boy".
Beast Boy froze at the venom in Raven's voice. He couldn't bring himself to raise his eyes, even though he could feel Raven walking towards him, to the point where he was now looking down at here cloak. "Beast Boy….look at me". Beast Boy slowly brought his eyes upwards. Raven was still two inches or so taller than him, so there was no half-looking. The initial rage in Raven's eyes would've been enough to turn most living creatures to stone. Beast Boy settled on having a very sudden case of dry mouth. Luckily for him, Raven wasn't done.
"The night I told you Trigon was my father, Cyborg's first question was about how we could stop him and I said it wasn't possible. And yet, you, in what at the time I took as naivety, said that we could still try". Beast Boy let her words sink in. He already knew the point she was making, but he was pretty sure interrupting Raven at this stage would be as good as a death sentence.
"I tried to push you all away….I really did, but you stuck by me….through the literal end of the world…and now you are asking all of us to consciously choose to let you take this on by yourself. I don't know what's worse… the fact that you thought you had a chance of taking this on by yourself, or that you think so little of us that we would say yes".
"It's n-not like that!", Beast Boy stammered out. He looked up at Raven again, her expression still furious, but it looked she was open to hearing Beast Boy's response.
"It's just…I can't bare to see you guys get harmed because of me…and if you don't-".
"And do you think we would be okay seeing you get harmed while we stood by the way-side?" That silenced Beast Boy immediately, he was cornered and Raven knew it. A quick glance at the other Titans confirmed their resolve. He felt a hand on his shoulder and glanced at the pale hand that was now settled there. "You think you're alone in this Beast Boy….but you're not". That opened flood gates that Beast Boy hadn't realized were on the verge of breaking and he couldn't hold back the tears anymore. He heard footsteps moving towards him until he was surrounded by shadows. The group hug was short and too the point, but felt necessary, like a lifeline. There would be no separation. If a single titan was going to war, the message was clear….every other titan would do the same.
There weren't any more words spoken after that until they boarded the T-ship to head home, where the conversation moved onto another topic. Eventually Beast Boy started to drift off. Even though he hadn't managed to convince his friends to stay away, he couldn't help but feel oddly warm that he'd found a group like them, a group to call family. Even if they didn't have the tower, he didn't need. Home was with his friends, and he was grateful for it.
And then, everything Beast Boy had feared would happen in the battle with the Brotherhood had happened. The titan network was compromised while he was adrift at sea. Beast Boy would never be able to forget those first few minutes after he'd defeated Kardiak. No communicator, no plan, no idea who was dead or alive, his only hope had been to head for the pre-determined safe house and wait. Wait for other titans for back-up, but more importantly to him, wait for his family, his titans….a group that never showed up.
He'd been so close to giving up. Maybe he could've turned into a whale, spent a few years at sea and just forgot everything he left behind. Maybe as others titans trickled in, he could choose to not play the role of hero. Over the past few months in particular, he was so tired of having to play the hero. Maybe some else could have fix it, just this once. But no, he was too stubborn to give up, to persistent to give in and too angry to let the Brotherhood of Evil waltz into the sunset. Who were they to do this? What gave them the right to take his friends away? Who put a brain in a jar on wheels on planet Earth and made him the King of ruining Beast Boy's day. If even a single one of his friends was alive, Beast Boy would storm the keep and burn the place to the ground to get them out. It was with that determination he had looked over the makeshift Teen Titans. "So….exactly what can you guys do?"
It had been just enough. Beast Boy's titan's, who might as well have been held together with tape and string, had done enough to give other titans the time they needed to regroup. The feeling of watching Cyborg burst out of the floor, Starfire bust through the roof, and Raven teleporting in was something he would never be able to describe. It was like a dream, a feeling that was caught on the wind. Euphoria and relief, but with a whiplash like no other. There was still a job to do and Robin had still been stood cryogenically frozen before him. Getting to put the final blow to Mallah was the icing on the cake. For everyone else, they most likely thought the pun was Beast Boy's magnum opus, but that was just for appearances.
A party had been held in the tower after Dr. Light had unofficially earned the title of the most unlucky villain on the planet. To be fair to him, how could he have known that that would be the one day in history where every teen titan was in Jump City at the same time? While Beast Boy was usually always the life of a party, whether others wanted him to be or not, after being away from home for so long, and away from what he considered his family for so long, he just wanted some time to take it all in. So during the height of the festivities, he'd dropped out quietly and made his way down to the shore of the tower, towards a collection of rocks, that on the very rare occasion, he needed time to himself to think, he viewed as the perfect spot for some reflection.
The changeling had been skimming some stones, before just breathing in and out to himself, taking in the cool evening air, when a voice interrupted his rocky trip down memory lane. "Didn't think I'd see my team leader not enjoying the party with everyone else". The Herald sat down beside Beast Boy, his iconic trumpet hanging loosely from his fingers. Beast Boy let out a chuckle. "I know right, you'd think after all this time I'd be all over a party, but it's been so long…it's just a bit much for me right now". The Herald returned his laugh, "Man, I usually spend my time in rifts in space, everywhere I go is too loud". The two sat in companionable silence for a few minutes, before the Herald broke it. "You know what you did in the Battle was incredible, right?" Beast Boy looked at him confused. "What do you mean?"
The Herald laughed again at Beast Boy's expression. "Dude, Pantha was about leave, I was about to go back to my own rift, Mas had no Menos and Jericho wouldn't have been able to voice his opinion if he wanted too. You took four titans that had given up, led them into battle against the brotherhood and stalled enough for back up to come. You're the reason we won". Beast Boy gave the Herald a look that he would also give if he had grown a second head, before averting his eyes. "Man, I just did what any titan would've done".
"No, you didn't, none of the rest of us did it. You brought the best out of all of us when we needed it most, when we'd all given up. I know you're getting some props tonight at the party but… I wanted to say my piece."
Beast Boy looked up, "You making an early exit?"
"Like I said, parties are a bit too loud for me, and I think we'd both like some quiet right now". Beast Boy looked up at the Herald and smiled. "Yea…you're right."
The Herald raised his trumpet to his lips, his signature musical note echoing through the night, opening the now familiar circle to another plane of space. Just before the Herald left, he turned back to Beast Boy, "Your real name is Garfield, right?" Beast Boy sighed, "Yea, yea don't go spreading it around". The Herald grinned before a more content look settled on his face. "The name's Mal Duncan. You ever need help again, let me know. I'll follow you anywhere". Beast Boy looked up at the Herald, shocked for a moment, and then he gave a small grin back. "Alright Mal…stay in touch…and stay safe.
"You too Garfield, also heads up, I think your wish for quiet is gonna have to wait a little longer". The Herald looked past Beast Boy, and the changeling knew he was about to be joined by someone else. He watched the Herald disappear into the rift and stayed focused on it until the opening slowly shrank and disappeared. Listening out for footsteps, Beast Boy was surprised when he couldn't hear any. That either meant someone was flying toward him or it was somebody quiet enough to not alert his animal hearing.
When he felt a presence settle down beside him. A cursory glance confirmed that the tower's resident empath had joined him. Usually, Beast Boy was quick to fill silence with jokes and conversation that was never serious in nature, but on that night, he found that he was content with having nothing to say. Raven, always one for letting a peaceful moment last, let the silence sit for a few minutes, simply staring out onto the horizon towards Jump City.
"Not enjoying the party?" Beast Boy looked over at Raven who was staring at him with a raised eyebrow. "If I remember correctly, the beast boy shuffle had become a staple at titans gatherings whenever they occurred before." Beast Boy couldn't help but let out a quiet laugh, before falling silent again. The empath's face dropped from stoic to showing something slightly more akin to concern. After a few seconds, Raven gently probed again, "Beast Boy?".
Beast Boy turned to face her fully, for a few seconds before mustering up a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'm okay….I don't know, it's weird for me. We all spent the last few months on our own missions all over the world, and I spent every day wishing that things could go back to the way they were before the Brotherhood. Now we're all home…but it's not the same. I feel like I'm a different person now…I guess I'm just accepting that".
Raven was a little shocked by Beast Boy's openness, and for the first time since they returned to the tower, she took a moment to take him in. While it had only been a few months since they all parted ways to set up the titans network, it seems that was the time period that Beast Boy decided to finally age a bit. Raven was pretty sure that if they were to both stand up beside each other now, Beast Boy would be at the minimum eye level with her. She also couldn't help but notice that not only was he now sporting the very faint outline of a beard, but a beard that had been shaved, meaning he had started that well before the battle with the Brotherhood. But the biggest change was in his eyes. Raven could fondly remember a time where she agreed that breakfast for dinner would be nice and Beast Boy's eyes practically sparkled out of happiness. Now, dark bags looked like they'd become a permanent fixture and they just seemed to be a bit more dull. Not lifeless by any means, but something had changed. And that's when it hit Raven like a train. Beast Boy had...grown up. Months on end of isolation for the sole purpose of their mission, something which she could more than deal with, had aged the very social and outgoing Beast Boy in a way that Raven wasn't quite sure how to feel about yet.
They continued to sit there in silence for a while, the quiet only being broken by the waves lapping gently against the rocks, and the vibrations of the heavy bass emanating from Titans Tower, a complete guarantee if Cyborg was the DJ for the night. Raven eventually broke the silence. "What did you miss most?"
"You guys", Beast Boy answered without even taking a second to think about it. "I guess that's why when our communication system was compromised and none of you guys showed up to the bunker, I was so motivated to storm the brotherhood….I didn't know if any of you were even alive, but if there was a chance any of you were being held in there, god damn I was going in to get you out". Raven didn't reply immediately, instead staring wistfully out over the water.
"What did you miss the most Raven?".
Raven took a second to think on the question and without looking back at him, replied, "Home…..and everyone in it". Before Beast Boy could respond, Raven continued, "So you're motivation to rush the entire Brotherhood of Evil was the off-chance that one of us was alive in there, and you didn't even have a plan to get that person or multiple persons out?" She looked back at Beast Boy with an eyebrow raise and an even slighter up-turn at the corners of her mouth while Beast Boy rubbed his neck sheepishly.
"Hey, I've said it before and I'll say it again. I may not be smart enough to do everything, but I'm dumb enough to try anything", he said proudly, hitting his hand off his chest. Raven couldn't help but smile at that, giving his arm a slight shove at the same time. The silence was comfortable for another few minutes and Raven was on the verge of asking Beast Boy if he wanted to go back inside when Beast Boy broke the silence again.
"I know I said I missed you guys the most, so I've kind of already said it, but…I can't stress how much I missed you Rae". Raven looked at Beast Boy, who hadn't looked away from Jump City in the distance. Raven, not usually one for being sentimental, moved over on the rock towards Beast Boy and gently learned her head against his shoulder. "I missed you too Gar".
The two titans had headed back into the party shortly after so that people didn't question their disappearance, and of course, Beast Boy still had time to perform his famous shuffle, an act which normally earned groans, but was cheered on this one occasion by every titan in the room. He only performed for appearances. Touching conversations with two different people was enough for one night and he didn't want to arouse any suspicions by not being the jokester that the Titans had come to know and love just yet.
Afterwards, he settled on the main couch beside Raven, Cyborg, Kid Flash and Jinx. Although he should have been paying attention to the friends he hadn't seen in month, his mind was a million miles away. He couldn't help but think about the future and what it held in store for the Teen Titans. What would it be like to live under the same roof as his teammates once again? Would they be different? Would things fall back into normality? Would months of endless fighting finally have given Robin the courage to ask Starfire on a date? There would be no answers tonight, and he was bizarrely okay with that. Tomorrow was another day and he'd take it in his stride like he always did. In that moment, Beast Boy let himself sink into the couch, and began enjoying the company of his friends that he'd missed so badly over the last few months. He'd earned this, why not enjoy it while he could.