Ch. 3 Emotions

Raven was slowly getting used to having people around all the time again. Sure, during her missions across the globe, she'd interacted with different honorary titans and had been around normal people when following up on a lead of the Brotherhood, but that was very much not an everyday occurrence.

Raven knew that she was on her own for the most part and for the majority of the time, she was perfectly okay with that. Hours of uninterrupted alone time, travelling from place to place or sleeping out amongst nature gave her more time to meditate than she could ever need. And yet, she felt like there was something missing, something fundamental to her being that she couldn't quite put her finger…until she was saddled with three children outside of a train station in the middle of nowhere.

In that split second, she would've taken every pleasure in sending Robin to another dimension for deciding, "Yea, Raven, she's gonna be great with kids." It was a steep learning curve, but Raven couldn't deny that she grew to love the three rascals…and Bobby, which was still probably the biggest surprise of her entire time away from the Tower. Waking up from unconsciousness to find a blanket over her shoulders and Melvin, Timmy and Teether protecting her? That wasn't how it was supposed to go…and yet when she looked up into the faces of three concerned kids she'd only met a few days ago, she realized what she was missing. It was coming off of the Melvin, Timmy and Teether in waves. Affection is a difficult emotion to define, but the three kids unknowingly made it as easy as they could. They cared about Raven and she knew she cared about them just as much and as they said their goodbye's knowing that it wouldn't be forever, Raven knew that, despite all of their flaws (and Beast Boy had more than most) the Teen Titans were a fundamental part of who she was now. The quicker they defeated the Brotherhood, the quicker she could appease that feeling she was missing something.

Being an empath in Titans Tower at the moment was interesting to say the least. It had been just under a week since the five Titans returned home and Raven was surprised just how quickly she had settled back into her old ways. Unfortunately that was not the case for everyone else, and the variety of different moods around the tower were almost starting to give her a headache at times.

Robin and Starfire were closer than ever, but the Boy Wonder still hadn't taken that final leap and just asked her out. Raven was tempted to teleport them across the world and only bring them back when Robin had finally grown a pair. Hmmm, maybe Japan would be good...something seismic could happen in Tokyo for sure. Every time the two Titans got remotely close, their moods would soar, but inevitably Robin would back away at the last moment, citing something he had to do or acting like he was doing something else. This always descended into Starfire being disappointed and Robin being disappointed in himself. For a guy that had faced every villain that the world could throw at him, it was almost impressive how badly he was messing this up and it was starting to drive Raven up the wall.

Cyborg had started out in a good mood when they first got back to the tower, but now something seemed to be bothering him. Raven had come into the kitchen one morning to find him cooking breakfast alone, seemingly agitated, but for the life of her she couldn't figure out why. That agitation only seemed to increase when Beast Boy came in, but in fairness to the changeling, as far as Raven or any of the other Titans knew, he hadn't done anything wrong. Yet, Cyborg's mood was definitely tied to the shapeshifter in some way or another.

And then there was Beast Boy himself. At least with the other three titans, their mood swings had identifiable causes. If she was so inclined, she could tell Robin to man up, tell Starfire it was only a matter of time, and sit Cyborg down and figure out what Beast Boy had done to eat at him so much. But Beast Boy…now that was a mystery that had Raven scratching her head. The night of the party still stuck out in her head. She'd noted him slip away when he thought no one was looking and made the decision almost instantly to follow him. Normally, when Beast Boy was feeling down, he could be gently brought back with some encouragement.

Even after the first incident with the Beast, he was back to himself pretty quickly, bar some residual anger at Robin for how he handled the situation, but that was in the past now. The night of the party, Beast Boy laid himself bare, whilst hardly looking at her the whole time. It was almost disconcerting. And then, to top it all off, he told her how not only how much he missed the titans, but specifically her, and the wave of affection that came off of him when she rested his head on her shoulder was enough to make her brace herself against the rock she was sitting on.

In the coming days, he showed that his change in attitude was, at least partially, there to stay. Oh he was still quintessentially Beast Boy. His jokes were still tragic and he still had an uncanny ability to stick his foot in his mouth. But there was a new side to him too. If a joke was bad, he knew to stop, if he said something out of place, he tried to remedy the situation…instead of further sticking his foot in his mouth. Robin had noted that Beast Boy had been putting in some extra training as well. Nothing crazy that someone would think he was pushing himself too far, but just enough that Robin was…well, impressed. All the changes pointed towards Beast Boy having matured just that little bit during his time away, which is what Raven had always wanted. But if that was the case, why did she still feel like something was wrong.

Raven slowly let her legs fall back to the bed, leaving her lotus position. She glanced at the clock on her bedside table and couldn't help but smile, because one thing certainly hadn't changed. "6:58…. If dinner is at 7, then I should be getting a knock on my door right about…".

"Raven, you in there? Cy's just about got dinner ready!"

Right on schedule. She'd never admit that she didn't mind him getting her for any kind of group thing the titans were doing. She knew he was going out of his way and that he didn't have to come get her (she was perfectly capable of walking down the hallway to dinner herself, Cyborg had already let her know when it would be), but she couldn't help but feel a little warm inside. Beast Boy was changing, but not everything…not when it came to her.

Deciding that she'd let him wait long enough, she slid off her bed and approached her door, sliding it open a crack to peer out at her teammate. He wasn't looking up when her door opened, and ended up jumping back when the noise of the door caught him off-guard. Raven raised an eyebrow.

"You know Beast Boy, I don't actually need a reminder for dinner, it's at nearly the same time every day." Beast Boy had recovered at this stage, and shot a Raven a sheepish grin.

"Well yea, but we've only been back in the tower like a week. Maybe Cyborg was planning to spice things up with an early dinner, closer to lunch...a "dunch" if you will. Maybe he's planned a Roman dinner that will go on till midnight".

Raven sighed, "Has he planned any of that Beast Boy?"

"Well no, but that's not the point, the point is that you didn't know that".

"So to be clear, he hasn't cooked anything like that?"

"Minor details Raven, minor details, but you never kno-"

"Beast Boy…."

"…..No, he's cooked everyone steaks….well I'm having a salad…but you know what I mean".

"Yep, that sounds about right".

Raven fully emerged from her room with a satisfied smirk. "So if you knew dinner was the same as always, why the need to come get me? I know we haven't been back a while, but I'm pretty sure I can still navigate the hallways". She had been looking towards the kitchen when she was hit by the emotions of her teammate. She looked over at him to confirm what she was feeling and she could see it on his face. Beast Boy was nervous?

"Hehe, sorry Rae, I just realized that I hadn't actually got to talk to you today, so I thought I'd grab you for dinner."

"You come and get me for dinner most days".

"….We don't talk much most days".

That sentence stopped Raven in her tracks. "What do you mean? We've talked every day since we've been back". Beast Boy didn't miss the slight worry in her voice.

"Sorry, I'm just being over the top, let's get to dinner, the other Titans will be wondering where-"

Raven grabbed Beast Boy's arm as he started to walk away. "No...what did you mean by that?"

Beast Boy looked like he'd rather have been anywhere else right now and Raven could still feel the nervousness rolling off of him in waves. She lessened her grip on his arm. "Beast Boy…you can talk to me."

Beast Boy pulled his arm out of her grip and turned to face her fully. "Sorry, it's dumb, but it's just…when we were all split up I spoke to Cyborg, Robin and Starfire a decent amount on the communicators, sometimes about missions, but sometimes just to check in with them, see how they were getting on….to find out where they even were. But when I tried to contact you…you didn't seem to happy to hear from me."

Raven knew what he was talking about straight away. The first few weeks they were apart, he would call her, and ask her about anything and everything, something, at the time, Raven could not understand the point of. If he wanted to know where she was, ask Robin, if he wanted to talk with a buddy, go to Cyborg.

She'd played along originally, thinking that he would fall out of the habit, but they kept coming over and over and Raven's patience had been running thin. She'd been on tough missions, had little sleep, and yet Beast Boy always rang and looked like he didn't have care in the world. Her answers had become sharp, her usual quips just a little more cutting. Then, finally, after 6 weeks apart, Raven snapped.

"Hey Raven, you'll never guess what happened to me today. So I was in Alaska, following up on a Brotherhood lead, but then-".

"Beast Boy…what is this?"

"….Sorry? What's what?"

"These calls, your little updates, why do you insist on letting me know about every single little thing you do."

"Oh….hehe, sorry Raven, I guess I can get into a habit of talking about myself. How have you been? Where are you at the minute? Maybe if you're near me we could try and organise a meeting point? I haven't seen any of you guys in so long! It could be nice to-"

"I'm not near you Beast Boy".

"Oh…well no worries! We can try again later! So what's your latest mission? Robin said he's about to se-".

"Beast Boy….stop…..why do I need to know this. If you want a mission update for me, talk to Robin, and if I want one about you, I'll do the same".

"…..Oh...okay Rae…so how have you been anyway? "

"I'm fine Beast Boy and it's RAVEN. You do know you're currently on a job, right? We all are, and yet you ring every other day and look like you don't have a care in the world".

"Raven, that's not fair, I just like hearing from my friends? We've been apart for a while now and it's nice-".

"It's nice for you to bother me with these pointless calls? Listen up "Garfield", we all have our own missions. Sure, some day in the future, we'll all be able to sit around and you can go back to pestering me in person like you always do, but while we're apart, at least grant me the courtesy of not having to deal with you over a video call".

"….Okay Raven, if that's what you want, I won't ring again, unless it's about a mission".

"Fantastic", and Raven hung up the call without even glancing back at her communicator screen.

Two days later, Beast Boy rang again and Raven had chosen to let it ring out. She had to get her point across. A week after that, Beast Boy hadn't called again and Raven felt a pit developing inside her, almost like there was something missing. Who knew that it would take three kids to make her realise what she was missing, and maybe that somebody was overdue an apology. But she couldn't be the one to ring. It was Beast Boy's job to annoy her. He'd call again, just like he always did. But the call never came and the next time Raven and Beast Boy spoke would be in person, on the damp rocks outside Titans Tower.

Raven felt like she'd been slapped recalling all of this. It had honestly just slipped her mind after their moment on the shore. Of course, Beast Boy would still be thinking about, he wore his heart on sleeve. It took her being appointed three children to understand that some people cared about her...just because they wanted too.

"Beast Boy…what I said then…I was just stressed and tired and –."

Beast Boy cut across her, "It's okay Rae, I know I'm a lot to handle and I'm sure having to listen to my voice through a tinny speaker definitely didn't help my cause. I probably would have – ."

Raven put her hands on his shoulders, both shocking him and once again eliciting those nervous emotions she kept feeling radiate off of him in waves. "No, don't put yourself down like that Beast Boy. I was the one in the wrong, even if I was on edge, I had no right to do that to you….I'm sorry Gar."

Beast Boy looked at Raven wide-eyed. It was still weird for him to hear someone use his real name like that in such a nice way. It almost made him want people to call him by it more often. But he also knew Raven apologising, under any circumstances, meant she was way out of her comfort zone. So Beast Boy did what any good friend would do…and gave her an out.

"Is that an apology from the great Raven? My god and I don't even have a camera handy."

"….Moment ruined."

Raven turned away from Beast Boy and began making her way towards the kitchen again, but Beast Boy hadn't missed the tiny up turn of the corners of her mouth as she turned. Beast Boy jogged to catch up to her.

"But yea, going back to my original point, I guess we spent so long apart from each other, I'm just appreciating having you guys around again more. Cyborg, Starfire and Robin and are usually out and about at some point during the day, but you still keep your distance, which I can respect….but that doesn't mean I'm not gonna take every opportunity I can to draw you out."

Raven didn't know whether to act exasperated that he had just acknowledged he wouldn't be stopping anytime soon, or to give him the slightest hint that she liked that he cared so much.

"Oh give him a break, we owe it to him after acting how we did over the last few months."

Raven wasn't quite sure which one of her emoticlones was responsible for that particular thought, but even she couldn't help but agree. Raven stopped outside the kitchen door and turned to Beast Boy. Beast Boy stopped when she did and looked at her confused.

"Raven, what's up? I mean if you really don't like it that much I can st-"

He didn't get a chance to finish his sentence before his brain melted into a puddle as Raven initiated a hug with him for only the second time since they'd met. This time though, he did remember to wrap his arms around her. The feeling of nervousness reached a peak during the hug, something Raven would have to think about and ask Beast Boy about later, but for now, she let him have his win. She pulled back and Beast Boy was still staring at her wide-eyed...and then like a good friend...she gave him an out.

"Is that the great Beast Boy? Speechless? My God, and I don't even have my camera handy", she laughed as she headed through the sliding doors to the kitchen. Beast Boy stood there, in a daze, slowly coming back to his senses, when Raven's parting comment finally registered in his head. Raven could feel his indignation before he even came through the door.

Dinner was a wholesome affair. Starfire and Robin sat beside each other, Beast Boy seemed the most like his old self since he returned and Cyborg seemed to be in a better mood because of it. Raven was content to interject with a point here or there, but was mainly happy with just being there.

This…this is what she missed, that fundamental part of her that she couldn't quite explain yet. Perhaps a trip to Nevermore was in order to find out the reason why this affected her so much. Robin and Starfire disappeared from dinner early, most likely to head up to the roof. They'd been spending a lot of time up there recently and Raven was starting to get suspicious that maybe Robin had been able to man up, but there was no way Starfire could keep that a secret.

As Cyborg and Raven started clearing the dishes, Beast Boy checked to see if they minded if he went to bed early instead of helping out, before disappearing out of the room as well. Raven cast her empathic senses out to see how Beast Boy was feeling. He seemed okay, but was surprised to find that he had already walked past his bedroom and was now headed for…the elevator. Raven waited a few minutes before going over to the window looking over the bay and confirming her suspicions, the small green figure sticking out against the grey rocks, even in the low light of the night.

"Go talk to him Raven". Raven jumped, not realising that Cyborg had managed to approach her from behind without her noticing.

"Why? We already talked earlier, he seemed to be in a good mood?"

"Raven…he was in a good mood because he talked to you".

"What do you mean?"

"Before dinner, the green bean was talking to me as I cooked and he was chatty, no doubt, but he was still….off...you know what I'm talking about, we've all seen it the past few days. Then, he strolls out to get you for dinner, and comes back into the room grinning like an idiot, despite the fact that he was giving out to you about something. Tonight, at dinner….that's the happiest he's been since we got back. I don't know what you guys talked about in the five minutes it takes to get from your room to the kitchen, but you did something for the little guy."

Raven pondered Cyborg's words. Maybe all Beast Boy wanted to do was to talk. And with that, Raven had an idea. "Cyborg, would you mind-."

"I'll finish the dishes Raven, you go talk to the grass stain", Cyborg smiled at Raven before returning to the kitchen. Raven smiled thankfully at him before leaving the room, only one destination in mind.

Two minutes later, Raven found herself behind Beast Boy, almost a mirror image of the night of the party. "Okay…he deserves this". Raven quietly made her way down to the rock Beast Boy was sitting on and took a seat next to him. Beast Boy was broken out of his thoughts by the new arrival.

"Raven? …what are you doing here? I thought you were gonna help Cyborg with the clean-up?"

"I thought you were getting an early night?"

"…touché".

They both sat in a slightly awkward silence, before Raven finally gathered up the nerves to go ahead with her plan.

"Did I ever tell you about the time I broke Mallah's nose with a kitchen pot while we were away?"

Unlike earlier, Raven really did wish she had a camera to capture Beast Boy's reaction. His hands that were behind his back, slipped out from underneath and he rolled backwards off the rock, before his head popped from the other side.

"I'm sorry…you did WHAT!?".

Raven smiled at his shock. Cyborg had a point. He really was acting like his old self. Maybe all he needed was someone to talk to…about anything and everything.

"Yea, it's a pretty funny story…wanna hear it?"

"Do I want to hear it…of course I do!"

And so she told her tale. How just before she travelled to find the Herald, she'd been cornered by Mallah while buying some food at small fast food place in Montana. The fight had spread into the kitchen, and Mallah was too close for her to use a ranged spell, so in a split second of inspiration….

"You just grabbed a kitchen pot from a shelf, swung wildly…"

"And broke his nose with a spurt of blood? Yep, that's exactly what I did."

Beast Boy took a second to look at her before bursting out laughing. Eventually Raven couldn't help but join in just a little bit.

"You know Raven, there was one time during that whole thing, where I got cornered by…actually never mind. Sorry I know I get carried away with the stories I tell."

Raven reached over and put her hand on his shoulder. "No Beast Boy, I want to hear it".

And so he told her about his missions, and she responded back with tales of her own. The two Titans spent the night, trading war stories...stories that probably should have been told to each other a long time ago. Raven wouldn't be able to fix the mistakes she'd made in the past, but there was nothing stopping her from doing right by Beast Boy now.

It wasn't until near midnight that the two titans finally realised how late it was. With both of them taking that as their cue, they headed back inside. Still idly chatting walking down the hallway, neither titan had even realised they had reached Raven's room until they were both a few feet past the door.

"Hey Rae…thanks for tonight…I think I needed something like that….just to make light of what's happened ya'know?"

Raven did know. She knew better than most people what it was like to be burdened by events you played a role in, regardless of whether it was your fault or not.

"No need to say thanks…I hadn't got a chance to talk to you today really….and I like it when we talk."

Beast Boy's eyes widened, but there was no nervous waves from Beast Boy this time. The feeling he was giving it out was far warmer, practically oozing contentedness. Before Raven could stop him, he pulled her into a gentle hug, only the second time he had initiated a hug with her since they'd met as far as she could remember. The first time, she had told him to quit it. This time, it did take a few seconds, but Raven tentatively wrapped her arms around Beast Boy's back.

"Me too Rae…me too."

Beast Boy pulled away, looking back at her one last time.

"Night Raven."

"Night Gar."

Raven watched him disappear around the corner towards his own room, before stepping inside her own bedroom and lying out flat on her bed. There was something different about that night that had just past, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. A feeling that was lingering in the back of her subconscious that she couldn't identify. Of course Beast Boy had to be the one to mess with her like this. Being an empath in Titans tower was already interesting enough, and that was before she had new emotions that even she couldn't define yet.

Clad in black and orange, Slade's gaze lifted towards his view of the T-Tower through his surveillance systems. Everything had been far too perfect since the Brotherhood fell for the Titans and if any of them were ever in trouble again, they'd have an army behind them if needed. Which is why Slade knew that he was going to have to hit fast, and he was going to have to hit hard. He had been quiet for too long. Biding his time since the fall of Trigon, plotting his next move down to the minute details, he couldn't help but smirk to himself, as he loosely twirled the double-ended axe he obtained from defeating Trigon's gatekeeper. He took a second, concentrating and taking the same delight as he always did, in watching the flames be summoned on the axe tip, dancing across the surface of the metal, so beautiful, yet so dangerous. A weapon that for all intents and purposes was a work of art, one that he knew it was his right to wield. Trigon may have been banished, but Slade still wielded some of the power he had obtained. "It's time for the Titans to remember that before every other foe they faced, I brought them to their knees, and I will do it again".

Slade turned back away from his monitors, moving back towards the center of his new base of operations. Row upon row of gas tanks sat in front of him, all of them already filled to the brim. The absence of the Titans from Jump City for so long made infiltrating the tower child's play and he had been able to obtain the one piece of intel he was desperate for. With that obtained and analyzed, he knew it was only a slight change to the composition of the chemical that was needed. Robin wasn't going to haunted by Slade this time. The Titans were going to be haunted by one of their own.

Slade was going to send a message and what better way to send a message to a family, than by going after the family pet. "After all", he said to himself, "it should always be at the discretion of the family for when they put their dog down". Emotions are at their most dangerous when their raw, and Slade was going to change the very fabric of what made the Titans who they were using every bit of malice he could muster. He had another message deliver, but this time, the Titans would know that it was from him.