Hey yo, author here. Once again, thanks for all the reviews. Proper affirming when you're nervous about writing for the first time in ages, and you get such good feedback. If you're enjoying, would mean the world to give it a like or follow if you're not already. Updates are going to be a little less frequent from now on. But still gonna be aiming for ballpark once a week. My rugby pre-season has started up again, so that's gonna be taking up a lot my nights, but still, I'm having a blast writing this, not gonna lie. Hope ya'll enjoy the next chapter. I ain't giving any hints for where I'm going with this, you just gotta stick around lol. As always, much love.

I don't own Teen Titans or any other mentioned DC properties, cause I'm not that lucky.

Ch. 9 Divergence

Beast Boy felt like he was in a movie where the film was corrupted. He would come to his senses, have a few seconds to look around to try and gather any sense of what was going on before everything faded to black again. The pattern became so common that whenever he awoke, his focus went on remembering what happened last time, rather than focusing on what was happening around him in the moment. He remembered a blue figure looking over him, who seemed to be giving orders to another pale figure. He remembered a huge shape looming over him. The shapes lips had been moving, and Beast Boy was desperate to know what they were saying, but it was if no sound was coming out. Then, every time he tried to focus, he'd get a reminder of how tired he was, and he was essentially a bystander as he felt his own eyes close, shutting out the world around him. He didn't know how many times this had happened, but he was getting downright sick of it.

However, when he did finally regain his senses, boy did he wish for the dulled down sensations he had been experiencing before. Beast Boy cracked his eyes open…or tried to crack them open, but for some reason, only one would open at his command. He initially shut it closed straight away due to the harsh sunlight coming through the window. It was only then did his body register the dull ache coming from his…well everywhere.

After his eye had time to readjust, his attention was drawn to a low hum coming from his right. He turned his head, slowly and methodically, ignoring the screaming pain in his neck muscles to look at the air condition unit above the doorway into the room. It took him a second, but then he realized…he could hear sound. He focused his attention on his hearing, listening for anything else and immediately became aware of the steady breathing of someone else. Beast Boy slowly turned his head from right to left, until his gaze settled on a figure sitting in the chair next to the bed he was in.

Beast Boy and Argent had never been particularly close. Obviously, they had fought side by side against the brotherhood, but their paths had just never really crossed. So for her to be sleeping in a chair by his bedside while he was unconscious was definitely a shock to the changeling. Normally, he'd expect one of Raven or Cybo-…and then he remembered everything. The ruined tower, his friends faces as they fell victim to Slade's plan…Raven using her powers on him…being blasted through the Tower window. Maybe if he held his breath, he could pass out again…just live in blissful purgatory for a little longer. But if there was one thing Beast Boy wasn't, it was patient…he was awake now, he need to move.

Beast Boy tried to open his mouth to call Argent's name, but suddenly realized not only how dry his mouth was, but how raw and sore his throat was too. He settled for reaching over to his bedside table and knocking over a bottle of water onto the floor with a thud. Argent woke up with a start, looking wildly around the room, before making eye contact with Beast Boy, her jaw dropping in the process. "Beast Boy! You're awake! Let me…! You need…eh….GUYS, GET IN HERE!". Beast Boy motioned to the water bottle on the floor and thankfully, Argent realized what he was getting at, picking up the bottle and helping him to take some sips. Instantly, he felt his throat feel somewhat relieved, letting out a sigh at the let-up from the pain.

Before Argent could say another word, the door to the room was slammed open, causing Beast Boy to jerk his head towards the noise, something he instantly regretted when he felt the pain in his neck send a shockwave down his spine. Still, he had successfully managed to turn his head as the Herald and Pantha barged into the room. "Argent, what's wro-…Beast Boy! Finally!" The Herald strode up to Beast Boy's bed, putting a hand on his shoulder. "How you feeling man? You gave us a good scare?"

Beast Boy took a deep breath before trying to speak this time. "…Never better", he smiled weakly. "How long was I out?" Pantha answered from behind the Herald, "five days my friend…we were not 100% sure you were going to make it at certain points". Beast Boy winced. It was weird to hear he had almost died a few days ago, and he essentially was none the wiser about it. Beast Boy motioned to the Herald, who got the message, and helped Beast Boy to sit up on the bed he was, despite the screaming pain coming from every fibre of his being. "Yea man, obviously when you called in the SOS to me, I dropped everything, but I'd left you two hours beforehand and all of sudden, you were on the brink of death, in a cage made by Slade, what happened?"

Beast Boy didn't want to say it out loud. Saying it out loud made it real. But the three of them had clearly helped him so much in the last few days…they deserved to know. So Beast Boy told them. He told them about the first time Slade's chemical had been used on Robin. He told them how he sensed something was off as soon as he arrived. He told them how the whole team had turned on him and promptly blasted him out the Tower window. He didn't tell them that Raven pulled back…that was for him to know. He told them how he'd woken up in Slade's makeshift cell. "And that's when I called you in…I didn't know how long I'd been out and I couldn't call anyone on my team, so I called the person I trusted the most who could get in and out quickly."

The Herald, Pantha and Argent could only stare at Beast Boy, completely slack jawed, as he finished his story. Pantha broke the silence. "My friend Beast Boy…I am sorry…you did not deserve the actions that were taken against you…your friends should be ashamed…what else could you do at this stage to earn their trust". Beast Boy nodded at Pantha's comments, but inside, he didn't blame the Titans…he didn't blame any of them. He was still afraid of the Beast, and what it brought of him…his friends had every right to fear that too.

"So what's happened since you brought me here? Sorry Argent, I'm assuming we're in your place…I hope I didn't stain any furniture." Beast Boy tried to muster up a smile, which Argent returned with a small one of her own. "Just the living room carpet, so we'll say that's two you owe me now. But it's no problem Beast Boy. I will say, it was pretty terrifying having you appear here like that…I honestly thought you may have been dead already". Beast Boy couldn't help but grimace at that. He must have been in seriously bad shape. "So what's the damage doctors?" He looked at all three of them, and suddenly, none of them could make eye contact. The Herald sighed and broke the silence. "Making sure you were alive over the past few days has been a two person job, so we needed to bring in one more person who I knew we could trust to gather supplies and medical equipment. Don't know if you noticed, but the bedroom you're in isn't exactly an ICU".

Beast Boy let out a slight chuckle, before looking at Pantha. "You couldn't have picked anyone better." Pantha smiled at Beast Boy. That means a lot my little green friend. I am always here to help you when you are in need. You have had my back in the past and I will always have yours." Beast Boy couldn't help but feel warm inside from Pantha's sentiments. The Herald continued. "You pretty much had every injury under then sun when I brought you here. Various broken bones, a punctured lung, severe blood loss, a dislocated shoulder….it's been a rough few days, but between the three of us, we got you stabilized. We also managed to get the collar that was around your neck off. Seems it was set-up to shock you unconscious...a pre-caution from Slade if I had to guess. It'll take some time still, but with your genetics, you heal quickly. You should be good to go in a few days."

Beast Boy felt relieved at the news, but he could tell…the Herald was leaving something out. He shot him a look and the Herald caved after five seconds. "The only thing we couldn't save…I'm sorry Beast Boy…but your eye…." Beast Boy suddenly became painfully aware of the his left eye which he hadn't been able to open. A look of panic crossed his face for a moment before he calmed himself. "….It's okay….you guys did everything you could…". The three of them looked at Beast Boy sadly before Argent decided to break the silence. "Beast Boy…you are obviously welcome to stay here as long as you want. We have your communicator, although it did break during what I'm guessing was the fall from the tower. I don't know you feel about your friends at the moment but…we haven't contacted them yet…Mal guessed there was a reason for why you called him instead of them…do you want us to let them know where you are?"

Beast Boy furrowed his eyebrows. Did he want the Titans to know where he was? He assumed that the effects of the Slade's chemical would have worn off by now…but they would still be afraid of him. They'd never say it, but they would be…the beast inside of him…he couldn't live with them again…not while this was the case. He thought of Robin, Starfire ad Cyborg's final attack…he thought of Raven's tearful apology before she slammed him too the floor. Once again, his teammates had acted first, and asked questions too late…

"No…no I don't".

It had been a rough week for the residents of Titans Tower. The wreckage in main ops had been remedied, with the floor being cleared of most of the debris and the window being covered with a makeshift tarp. The scene on the ground outside the Tower was still untouched. None of the teenagers could bring themselves to venture down to the site again…not yet anyway.

Raven had just entered main ops to make a cup of tea, only to find Robin staring at her, and Cyborg watching her sadly from the kitchen counter. "Hey Raven…we were worried that you hadn't gotten up yet…you okay?...or as okay as you can be?" Raven did her best to maintain a stoic façade. "I'm not okay…I don't think any of us are, and I'd be surprised if anyone was…but that doesn't matter now. We have a job to do." Perfect monotone, not even Robin was going to be able to get a sense of her emotional state and that was definitely for the best.

Robin nodded, but he didn't seem entirely happy with Raven's reply. It had been an unfruitful few days in their search for the missing Titan. Robin had tried to connect to Beast Boy's communicator every hour of every day since the morning after, with not even a glimmer of hope coming from his efforts. Cyborg had tried conducting molecular scans of objects in Beast Boy's room, hoping to find a genetic sample of good enough quality that he may be able to build a tracker for him, but had had no luck so far. Starfire was essentially always on some kind of patrol, whether it be over the Bay, in the city, or even further out. The missing titan could hold any animal form…it was like looking for a needle in a haystack.

Raven's efforts had not had much more success. First, she had tried to use the glove that was left behind to make a sort of magical compass, indicating whether they were moving closer or further away from Beast Boy. Separately, she was hoping her connection with Garfield was strong enough that she could reach out to him mentally. However, all her attempts so far had just made her feel like she was about lose consciousness. She always felt like she was right on the verge of finding him…and then she'd lose all sense of herself and would have pull out for fear of passing out. She still didn't know if that meant nothing…or whether it was a really bad sign.

"Robin…what about Deathstroke?"

Robin turned and locked eyes with Cyborg at that question. He turned back to Raven who was giving him a pointed stare…her look was testing. There was clearly only one right answer here and fortunately, Robin knew it. "If Starfire or any of us finds a lead that suggests Deathstroke played a direct role in Beast Boy disappearing after...what happened, we'll follow up on it…but as of now Beast Boy takes priority. Our mission is to find him."

Raven and Cyborg nodded, satisfied with his response. No one wanted to deal with an obsessive Robin now, not when there was so much at stake. "Raven…one idea that Starfire, Cyborg and I discussed was calling in the help of other Titans". There's only four us…we could cover far more ground if we called in a few favor's but…they would need an explanation for what happened to Beast Boy…are you comfortable wi-".

Raven cut Robin off, "Do it."

Robin gave Raven a look, imploring her to explain why she answered so quickly. "Robin, this isn't about how I feel…this isn't about how any of us feel…this is about getting Gar home safe, that is it. Having more Titans to help search would only increase our chances of finding him…I don't care what they think of us".

"You're right Raven…I just wanted to be sure that everyone was on board before I put out the call. The Titans we were thinking of calling in initially, would be Kid Flash, Mas y Menos, Argent and Bumbleebee. Kid Flash and Mas y Menos would give the option of quick scans of Jump City and surrounding areas, Bumbleebee and Argent can patrol the sky's with Starfire, as you'll be working on your own ideas. Word is gonna get out…but we'll deal with it".

"Perfect, put out the call, if we need more Titans, we can try and get more involved."

Robin nodded and Raven left for her room to get to work on her ideas. Robin took out his communicator and then froze for a second. "How do I even begin to explain what happened?"

It took a couple more days for Beast Boy to be able to get out of bed and walk around himself and to say the Herald was worried about him would be an understatement. Even when it looked like all hope was lost against the Brotherhood, Beast Boy had stayed strong…held his ground when no one else did. The Herald had actually managed to fix Beast Boy's communicator and given it back to Beast Boy, but the changeling refused to turn it on. He'd caught him more than once by himself, simply rolling the device over in his hands, like he was having an argument with himself. The green Titan seemed lost and neither he, Pantha or Argent had any ideas on how to help him.

It was four days after Beast Boy got out of bed that the Herald found him packing supplies into a bag in Argent's kitchen.

"Going somewhere Garfield?"

Beast Boy had his back turned to the Titan who had saved his life. He raised his head, but didn't turn around, letting out a massive sigh as he did so. "Yea…I am…I'm going back to where Slade brought me after the incident".

That was another thing the Herald had noted. They had all obviously discussed what had happened at the tower with Beast Boy over the last few days, but he refused to say any of the names of the occupants of the Tower. While the Herald was mad at them, no doubt, they were under the influence of a perception altering chemical, specifically manufactured to make the changeling seem like an enemy. Beast Boy had never been one to hold a grudge, but the Herald was beginning to question that belief. In that time, he had also told Beast Boy where Slade had been based…something he was now regretting.

"You cannot be serious…you we're just going to slip out of here…after all we've done for you…only to go back to where I got you from in the first place?!"

Beast Boy turned to the Herald, and he couldn't help but be taken aback by the look on Beast Boy's face. It wasn't that he was angry or sad…it was the absence of expression at all. Beast Boy's face might as well have been made of stone, unflinching, unchanging. He had only seen one other person utilise such a stoic façade, and that was the empath of Titan's tower. It honestly scared him…Beast Boy was always an emotive person, whether happy or angry. To see nothing in his eyes…it was disconcerting to say the least.

"I wasn't going to slip out…I just hadn't got a chance to say goodbye yet."

"Why do you even want to go back…this isn't the time for revenge Beast Boy?"

"I'm not out for revenge Mal…at least that's not what's on my mind right now…I'm not expecting Slade to be there. He'll have moved on since he knows that at least two Titans know where his base of operations was. I want to go look for leads on what he was up to".

The Herald titled his head. "What do you mean? Seems like his plan was to catch you and experiment on you to find out about the Beast?"

Beast Boy grimaced at the Herald's blunt wording, but continued, "Maybe…but that just seems too simple…every time I've come up against Slade before, whether in a team or on my own, he's always had a hidden plan. The first time, he used a distraction to infect me and the others with mini-probes, when I faced him myself…with Terra…it was a distraction so the Titans were one man down when he assaulted the Tower. Whether he legit wanted to learn about the Beast, I don't know, but I don't believe for a second that that was the only thing he had in mind."

The Herald weighed up Beast Boy's thoughts and to be fair, could see the logic in his musings. "Okay…but Pantha and I are going with you…Argent isn't here right now… she was contacted by Robin this morning…and asked to come to Titan's Tower. Beast Boy wasn't exactly known for his poker face, but Mal swore that not even a professional player would be able to read the changeling's face when he heard that information.

"No…you're not…I want to travel alone".

The Herald started to turn for the door, to go and let Pantha know the situation. "Beast Boy, don't be ridiculous, we're going to give you –"

"…and I'm not coming back".

The Herald stopped and slowly turned around to face the changeling. He was hoping it was a joke, but Beast Boy's face was as stoic as ever. "Garfield…you nearly died less than a week ago…I don't know what you're thinking but now isn't the time to make rash decisions."

"It's not a rash decision. I have two ways forward now. If we go to Slade's old base, and I find a lead, I'm going to pursue it, no matter where it takes me. If we go and find nothing, I'm still not coming back…I want to master the Beast…control it…draw from it…and I can't do that in a training sim or in a city…the Beast is a creature of the wild, so I'll go wherever I can accommodate that".

"And where would that be?"

"I don't know…I'm pretty sure I'll know it when I see it though".

The Herald knew he was about to tread on a touchy subject. "And what about your friends? I know what happened was rough…and you have every right to be mad, but –".

"I'm not mad…but I'm not going back…not when I know they still don't trust me…I don't know how long it will take…but for now, this is for the best."

"So what, you're gonna leave them to think you're dead? Or kidnapped? For however long you decide to be gone for? Garfield, come on, I know they messed up but you can't do that to them".

"I have a chance to make a clean break…if I contact them to tell them where I am or what I'm doing, they'll come after me…and I don't want that…they'll be coming out of guilt, not because they want too".

The Herald was shell shocked. This wasn't the Beast Boy he knew. It was like something inside him had snapped. Beast Boy saw the look on his face and for the first time, he showed some emotion, as his face fell. "I'm just…so tired…of the families I find…going wrong…and it's always my fault…whether they want to admit or not…"

"Garfield…"

"No…for now…this is how it has to be".

"What about Raven?"

The Herald took a little comfort in seeing Beast Boy freeze at the mention of his teammate. His façade wasn't unbreakable after all.

"What about her?"

"Garfield please…I've already agreed to help you however I can, so don't take me for a fool. If you want to drop off the face of the planet, you better be sure you know what you're leaving behind…who you're leaving behind."

"…It won't be forever".

"Tell that to your team…tell that to her, honestly, I don't know if you understand wha-"

"OF COURSE I UNDERSTAND!". The Herald took a step back at Beast Boy's sudden ferocity. Beast Boy himself looked surprised in the aftermath, before taking a deep breath. When he looked back up, he had returned to his stoic appearance.

"Look…after the battle against Malchior…Robin came up to me and said how it looked like I was in control…I wasn't. If anything, I gave it up willingly. Afterwards, when Raven came up to me…it was like I was watching a movie. I knew she was approaching the Beast…but I couldn't move. At one point, I growled and she recoiled…what if I had done something else…what if I'd hurt her…or any of the others…Slade's plan just showed that no matter how much I mature, or train, or change…as long as the Beast isn't in check…they won't trust me…and I can't be on their team as long as that's case…they should be afraid of me…because I'm afraid of myself…it's easier for everyone this way".

"…Don't you think they should get a say in this? You're making a decision that'll affect them all, for them…do they not deserve a chance?"

Beast Boy looked at the ground, unable to hold eye contact with the Herald. He reached into his pocket, withdrawing the communicator which had been giving him so much to think about over the last few days. He looked up at the Herald, with new steel in his eyes.

"I'm done with giving out chances…I always give people chances…and it always backfires on me. Tell you what, once I'm gone, you can tell them what happened. Tell them I'm fine and that I'm gone not because I'm being held captive, but because I want too be, because I NEED to be."

The Herald thought Beast Boy was being irrational, but maybe there was a slight amount of sense in his words. He could tell the Titans of the tower that Beast Boy was okay…that he just wasn't ready to come home yet. Maybe they'd start looking for him…or at the least, find some solace in his words.

"…Okay…but keep your communicator with you…I need to know that you can reach us if you need too again."

"…I was going too…I'm still a Titan…I think…but it's staying off. I know there's a GPS in it, and I'm not being followed."

The Herald could only look at his friend with sadness. He never thought he'd see the day when Beast Boy was…well, broken. Yet here he was, and there was no other word to describe the changeling's current state. "You're not going to change your mind". It wasn't a question, but a statement of fact.

"…No".

The Herald's head dropped and he felt like his entire body sagged downwards. "If so…you should leave now. Pantha will be back soon and something tells me she'd be much more hands on in trying to make you stay".

Beast Boy let out a laugh, but it was short and humorless. "Yea…you're probably right". He slung the bag he had made up over his shoulder, and turned towards an open window on the other side of the room. He took two steps before stopping and turning around and striding back to the Herald. He stopped in front of him and paused for two seconds before reaching out with a hand. "Thanks for everything Mal…I'll make sure to let you know I'm okay...you've been a friend for me when I needed it most...and please tell Argent and Pantha that I'm so grateful for everything they did...it's just -".

"Easier this way?"

"...Yea"

The Herald stared at Beast Boy's hand for two seconds, before pushing it down and pulling the changeling into a tight hug. Beast Boy was surprised for a second, but after a moment, he returned the favor. "If you really think this is something you need to do…then fine. I'm going to let the others know…how they'll act I don't know but…just stay safe Beast Boy."

Beast Boy pulled back. "I'll do my best Mal…and good luck". Beast Boy was about to turn back to the window, when Mal grabbed his arm. "I suppose I can do you one more favor." The Herald took his horn from the holder on his hip, and blew into it gently, opening a rift. "I'd rather give you ride than know you're flying over the Atlantic Ocean."

Beast Boy paused. "…We're in Europe?"

The Herald couldn't help but laugh. "Argent is English Beast Boy".

For the first time, Beast Boy had a small, but real smile. "Guess I'm still not great at small details".

"Yea, and no amount of mastering the beast is gonna fix that". With that, Beast Boy and the Herald stepped into the rift, entering the alien environment briefly before the Herald opened a new one, bringing them to their destination...Beast Boy could see Titans Tower in the distance. Slade's base of operations had been an abandoned warehouse right on the edge of the Jump City's outskirts, but the trademark T could be seen from virtually anywhere in the city limits. Beast Boy couldn't help but wonder for a minute how the Titans were doing…did they even miss him?

Beast Boy turned to the Herald. "I guess this is my stop".

"Yea…I suppose it is". The two teens embraced one more time before Beast Boy stepped away.

"Beast Boy…I hope you know when you do come back…you're gonna have family in that tower who've missed you…no matter what you think they think of you right now".

Beast Boy looked back at the Herald sadly, "…we can agree to disagree". With that Beast Boy strode off towards the warehouse, not looking back once as he entered one of the rusted steel doors and the Herald closed his rift from the inside. The Herald was in no rush. He was going to tell the Titans about Beast Boy, but he'd give the changeling the time he needed to investigate Slade's base and move on. His brain was telling him that this wouldn't last. Beast Boy, at heart, was a pack animal. He needed people around him…people he could trust, people who he could care about and who cared about him in return. But he couldn't help but acknowledge that Beast Boy seemed different, like he'd aged fifty years in five short days. He supposed only time would tell. He wasn't looking forward to telling his friends. Assuming the chemical had worn off…this was going to be a painful conversation for everyone involved.

After an hour had passed, the Herald steeled himself, and opened a new rift, emerging in the main ops of Titans Tower. He was a little shocked at the scene before him. Menos was trying to hold back Más, who was shouting at Robin in Spanish furiously, Bumblebee was speaking quietly to Cyborg in one corner of the room, almost like she was consoling him, Speedy engaging in a similar activity with Starfire, just behind Robin on the couch, while Raven appeared to be grilling Argent, with the latter looking incredibly nervous and it didn't take the Herald long to figure out why. No one had even noticed his arrival, so he decided to dive in to the deep end, headfirst.

While his horn was his weapon of choice, it did also serve the purpose of being…well a horn. The Herald raised the instrument to his lips, and let out a loud, solitary blast, gathering the attention of every Titan in the room. Robin looked at the Herald, confusion evident on his face. "Herald? What are you doing here? We didn't call you in?"

"No… you didn't…but I think I know why you called in the others". The Herald's eyes drifted to Argent, who shot him a look, which he pretty sure said, "Oh my god, you're about to tell them".

Raven stood up from her position and bored a hole into the Herald with a glare. "And what reason do you think that would be?"

"Beast Boy is missing…Slade's chemical reagent…the fight that happened here only a couple of days ago…"

The Herald had never seen Raven shrink in on herself so quickly. He wasn't an empath, but even he could see the flurry of emotions cross her face; shame; guilt...heartbreak. Argent, who had been being grilled by the empath only a few seconds beforehand, now found herself with her arm around her, trying to comfort her. Starfire broke the shocked silence. "Herald…how do you know of these events?"

The Herald let out a deep sigh, before looking up to take in all the occupants of the room.

"…because Beast Boy told me what happened. I think everyone should sit down…I have a long story to tell."