Hi Readers: Before we begin, I want to apologize for how short yesterday's chapter was; and while I do hope to make this chapter longer, I am not guaranteeing anything as it all depends on where my creative juices send me. And now, let's see just where they go.
Chapter Two Hundred and Eighty-Four
I'll Follow Your Lead
"I hope you know that you didn't need to hide the fact that you don't want to have another baby from me." -Jay Halstead
The moment she heard Jay make that statement this morning, Natalie knew that she had to do something; and that was remove herself from the conversation, as this is not a conversation that she needs to be involved in. Rather, this is a conversation in which only Jay and Alex need to be involved; and that was the exact reason that Natalie got up and proceeded to walk over to Jay (and the door) so that she could go be with Will as he and Alex spoke for a moment. But first, she placed her hand on his arm on her way out of the door and smiled at him. "I'll give you guys a moment." Jay smiled as Natalie walked by him, while also telling him that she'd give them a minute to talk; after all, that was exactly what he felt like he and Alex needed at the moment. Time alone so that they can talk.
And her giving them a moment to do just that was something that Jay really appreciated, which he told her as she walked by on her way out of the room. "Thanks Natalie, I appreciate that." Agreeing with her brother-in-law, Natalie didn't even stop walking to hug him; rather, she just made her way out the door (closing it behind her) so that she could give her brother and sister-in-law a moment. Meanwhile, Jay turned his head and smiled as he looked at the woman he loves more than anything in the entire world; the woman that has his heart, and whom he'll always support. After all, she's the love of his life; she's his wife, and she's the mother of his children. They're a team and will always be a team. "I hope you know that I might steal some bacon from you." Now that was nice.
A nice, simple comment to break the ice between the both of them; even though this shouldn't be an awkward time between the husband and wife, it still felt awkward as it was a time where Alex felt like she was going to be breaking her husband's heart. But rather, that was not the case; due to the fact that he didn't know whether he wanted her to get pregnant ever again in the first place, especially not after what they had to go through when she gave birth. When she gave birth to the beautiful children who were fast asleep in their cribs, which Jay was currently in the midst of walking over to so that he could have a moment with them. "I'm glad we still keep them in our room." Alex laughed as she heard her husband say that, before smiling as she looked at him.
"Me too. I just hope you know that I am starting to get a little impatient at the moment."
Jay agreed with his beautiful wife as she mentioned that she was getting a little impatient, so he decided that he would turn around and make his way over to where he really needed to be right now, which would be in bed, with his wife as he held her in his arms. That way, he could make sure that they spoke to each other and just took it easy. Because at the end of the day, that's what Alex needs to do right now as she continues to recover from giving birth; but she also needs to do something else, and that would be talk to him if she has things on her mind. "I hope you know that you had no need to hide any other this from me Alex." Alex agreed with her husband as he told her that, clearly able to see that was the case. "I can see that now." Jay smiled, while nodding at his wife.
After which, he made his way over to her side of the bed; looking at his wife at the same time, Jay decided to take off his blazer so that it didn't get ruined. After all, he was going to do something right now which could very easily create wrinkles in his blazer, which was him sitting down in bed with Alex, as they spoke with each other for a moment. After all, the last thing that he wanted…was for them to not be on the same page, which seems to be what they are at the moment; it seemed like the two of them weren't on the same page, and that meant that they had to fix that. They had to fix the fact that they weren't on the same page, by getting together and talking so that they were on the same page once more. And thanks to Jay sitting in bed with her, they would be able to do just that.
"Thanks for joining me in bed again."
Jay smiled as he heard Alex say that, even though it was no problem at all for him to join his beautiful wife in bed; and that's due to the fact that he feels the same way about the both of them being on the same page, and that was it was best for the both of them to be just that. On the same page. And that was due to the fact that it was the best thing for the both of them. But not just for their marriage, but for their family as well; so, they're going to do just that right now, and get on the same page…which was something that Alex didn't need to thank him for doing. "You have no need to thank me babe, not when this is what I need to do at the moment." Alex agreed with Jay as he said that, before smiling as she looked up at the man she loves more than anything in the entire world.
After which, Jay proceeded to bend down and smiled as he kissed the woman he loves softly. "I hope you know that I love you more than anything." Alex agreed with her dreamy husband as he told her that, well aware that was the case. "Oh, I most certainly know that you love me more than anything. Now, let's just stop that and take it easy. After all, that's the last thing that we both need to talk about at the moment." Jay agreed with his beautiful wife as she said that, before turning his head and kissing her forehead softly; after which, he looked down at her and just smiled due to the fact that she truly is a very beautiful woman. "So, you don't want to have another baby?" Taking a breath, Alex looked up at the man she loves before nodding; after all, that was the honest to god truth.
She didn't want to have another baby, because of what happened the last time that they had a baby. "Can I explain why I don't want to have another baby?" Jay shook his head, as she didn't need to. "Alex, you have no need to explain; because I think I already have an idea." Taking a breath, Alex looked down and sighed. "And there's another reason baby." Looking up at Jay, Alex was confused as to just what that other reason might be. "Oh, and what reason might that be?" Jay smiled as he bent down, before kissing the woman he loves more than anything. "It's the fact that I love you, and that I want to respect your wishes at the end of the day." Alex agreed with Jay as he told her that, smiling as that truly was exactly what she wanted to hear the man she loves tell her.
She wanted to hear him tell her that he'll respect her wishes, and that he'll follow her lead. "Thanks Jay." Jay shook his head as he heard Alex say that, before reaching over to grab a bacon from her plate; after which, Alex proceeded to do the same thing as she knew that she needed to eat as well. "You have no need to thank me, because you're my wife; and like I said, I need to respect your wishes. We both need to respect each other's wishes, which is what I'm doing; plus, I have to say that I would've just been scared the entire time that it would happen again." Taking a breath as she took a bite of her breakfast, Alex turned her head and looked up at Jay. "Does it have anything to do with the fact that it just happened to Matt and Gabby again?" Taking a breath, Jay sighed.
After all, that was exactly what he was thinking about at the moment; how could he not think about it, when he's about to do some press about that exact situation. "I can't say that it's not on my mind, because it most certainly is; and that's due to the fact that I am about to do some press for Matt and Gabby's situation, which was eerily similar to our situation with your father." Alex agreed with Jay as he said that, before turning her head and looking up at Jay. "Jay, can I ask you a favor?" Jay agreed. "Forever Alex." Taking a breath, Alex took a moment before doing just that; she decided to ask her husband her favor.
"Can you stop calling Hank Voight my father?"
"Can you stop calling Hank Voight my father?"
Now those were words that Jay Halstead never expected to hear come out of his wife's mouth, but those were the words that just came out of her mouth; and therefore, he knew that they needed to talk about it. They needed to talk about the fact that Alex no longer wanted to consider Hank her father, and therefore the kids' grandfather; so, he was going to have to talk to her about that right now as they sat together…as this is not a topic that they can just avoid forever. "You want to stop considering Hank your father?" Alex agreed with Jay, as that was exactly what she just said. "That's exactly what I said, and I'm not going to change my mind." Jay shook his head as Alex said that, as that was the last thing that he was going to do; try and change her mind about her future with Hank.
If his wife no longer wanted to have a relationship with her father, then he was going to respect her wishes and do just that; because at the end of the day, he loves his wife and wants to do whatever he can to make sure that she was safe. "Alex, you don't have to ask me that question; because if you feel that way, then I know that there's a reason for it. And I also know the reason for it, especially after the most recent development." Alex sighed as she heard Jay say that, well aware of what development he was referring to; the development where they said that it wasn't safe for them to have more kids, and that she had a surgery (involuntarily) to have more kids; a surgery that she's glad she had. "I know, but this is just a lot to deal with right now." Jay agreed with his wife.
After which, he leaned in and proceeded to kiss the woman he loves softly; after all, that was exactly what his wife needed at the moment. She needed him to kiss her, and just take things nice and slow with her. "Alex, I love you; and I am more than ready to respect your wishes. If you don't want to call Hank your father anymore, then I am going to do just that." Alex agreed with Jay as he said that, while also cuddling up to him; after all, that was what she felt like she needed at the moment. She felt like she needed to cuddle up to him, and just take it easy with the man she loves. "You promise me that you aren't going to be long right?" Jay shook his head, as he most certainly will not be long; rather, he only had a couple things to do at the office. Then he was coming home.
"I promise, there's nowhere I would rather be other than home with you and the twins right now."
Smiling as she heard Jay say that, Alex proceeded to stroke his hand with her thumb; after which, she turned her head and looked up at the man she loves more than anything in the entire world. Meanwhile, Jay bent down and proceeded to take things nice and slow with the most beautiful woman in the entire world: his wife, and the love of his life; Ms. Alexandra Marie Halstead, his forever love. "God, I love you so much." Alex smirked as she heard Jay say that. "And I want you to show me that when you get home." Jay smirked as he heard Alex tell him that, as that most certainly is something that he can do for her later. He can show her just how much he loves her when they make love to each other in bed; in this bed, while their beautiful children sleep and just take it easy for them.
"I have to say, that is an idea that really intrigues me; and I believe that I will be doing it."
Alex agreed with Jay as he told her that. "We can say it's for how you defended me in the press conference, because I already know that you're going to do a good job. Because as much as you're going to say those things about Matt and Gabby, I also know that they are also related to me in a way." Taking a breath, Jay agreed before going to grab her hand and playing with her wedding right. "I will admit, I do blame myself a bit for not having protected you." Alex was a bit taken aback as she heard her husband say that, as that was the last thing that she wanted Jay to do; she never wanted him to blame himself for what happened. But before anything, she decided that she should just make sure that she heard him right. Because if she didn't, then this conversation would be moot.
"Sorry, but did you just say that you blame yourself for not having protected me?"
That was the topic of conversation now, whether her loving husband blamed himself for not having protected her ahead of her giving birth; because that was not something that she wanted to hear her husband tell her, especially when he was blameless in the situation. Rather, he was just as much of a victim as she was; especially when it came to the PTSD that it caused him. So, she really didn't want to hear this. "Jay, please. Talk to me and tell me that isn't how you feel." Jay sighed as he heard Alex ask him that, but unfortunately he couldn't do that; as that was exactly how he felt, he felt like he was to blame a bit. "Alex, how can I not blame myself a bit when it comes to me not having protected you? I'm your husband, and it's my job." Alex agreed, before sighing.
After which, she grabbed his hand and looked into his eyes (while also taking a bite of breakfast). "Jay, I love you; and I know that you protecting me is part of your job, but you had no reason to protect me from Hank. You had every right to let your guard down with him, because he's the man that we should trust more than anybody with my health and safety; because the last thing that we'd ever expect him to do was hurt me." Jay agreed with his wife as she said that, before going to wrap his arm around her; after which, he leaned in and kissed her forehead softly. After all, that was exactly what he needed to hear at the moment. He needed to hear that he wasn't at fault in her mind. "Plus, I could never blame you Jay." Jay nodded, and smiled at the woman he loves this morning.
After which, he bent down and proceeded to kiss Alex once more; that was, until they were disturbed by Will. "Oh, sorry man." Taking a breath as he heard his brother, Jay looked at him. "What's up?" Will sighed. "I just checked the traffic, and there's a huge accident on the highway from here to the office; so, I think it'd be best if we avoid it. So that means that we need to leave earlier and take the back roads." Taking a breath as he heard his brother say that. "Okay, I'll be right out." Will agreed with Jay as he said that. "Sorry again." Jay shook his head. "No, you did the right thing. We can't be late." Will nodded, before walking away; after which, Jay turned his head and smiled as he looked at Alex. After which, he got up and smiled as he bent down and kissed the woman he loves softly.
"I love you, and I am going to be back this afternoon okay?"
Alex agreed with Jay as he told her that he'll be back this afternoon, as that's something that she already knew. "I had a feeling that was when you were going to be back." Jay smirked as he bent down and then proceeded to kiss Alex softly one last time, because that was exactly what they both wanted. "Not that you can really keep me away, because I love you more than anything in the entire world." Alex laughed as she looked at Jay, staring into his eyes one last time; but at the same time, she looked at Will and saw that he was getting a bit impatient when it came to the two of them not breaking it up. "Baby, I think that you need to go as your brother is waiting for you and staring at us with shame." Jay sighed as he turned his head, and just looked at his brother (who was annoying).
"I swear, you really are a buzz kill. Go say goodbye to your own wife."
Will agreed with Jay as he said that, before walking away so that he can do just that; at the same time, Jay smirked as he turned his head once more and bent down to kiss the woman he loves softly. After which, he got up and smiled as he proceeded to walk away to check on the twins. "So, just curious; am I leaving Max here?" Alex agreed. "Leave him here, as Natalie is here." Jay agreed with Alex, before smiling as he walked up to the twins in their cribs; after which, he bent down and proceeded to kiss each of their foreheads this morning. "I love you both so much, and daddy will be back later." Smiling as she heard Jay say that, Alex looked at the man she loves; after which, Jay got up and turned around to face his beautiful wife. And that was when he decided that she needed one more.
One more kiss from him, prior to leaving; so, he made his way back over to her on her side of the bed. "God, I love you so much." Jay agreed with Alex as she told him that, before smiling as he leaned over her and took things nice and slow with her (while also putting his hand on the side of her neck). "God, so damn beautiful." Alex agreed with Jay as he said that, before running her finger down his cheekbone; after which, she leaned her forehead against his as they both held each other close right now. "God, you are so handsome in this; and I can't wait to take it off of you when you get home." Jay smirked, before agreeing with his wife. After which, he finally let her go so that he can get out of here with his annoying brother; something that he was going to talk to him about on the way.
They were finally in his truck, and on his way to the office; just like his older brother wanted, but that didn't mean that Jay was happy. He could never be happy when he was away from his family, when his wife was in bed recovering after giving birth; but he also knew that he had to do this, and that he needed to do whatever he can to make sure that his wife recovers properly. But first, he was going to talk to his brother on the way to the office to remind him that what he did wasn't cool. "Okay, we are going to talk here; well, I'm going to talk and you're going to listen." Turning his head, Will looked at his brother as he said that. "What's wrong Jay? I can hear that disapproval in your voice." Jay agreed with his brother, as that was exactly how he was feeling right now; he wasn't happy.
"Will, you ruined the moment that I was having with Alex."
Will laughed as he heard Jay say that. "You can have more moments with Alex, when you're home after the press." Jay sighed. "We were also talking about something serious, related to the new situation. The situation where Alex is done having kids, and the reason behind it; and her father, and how she just told me that we're cutting him out of our lives." Will was a bit taken aback as he heard his brother say that. "Wait, Alex is cutting Hank out of your lives?" Jay agreed with Will as he said that, hearing the exact same reaction that he had when he heard Alex say that. "That was my exact reaction Will, and that was why I needed that moment with Alex; I mean, that's a big step for her, and it was news that I didn't expect to hear." Will agreed with his brother, well aware that was the case.
"And there was another reason that we needed this time, and it's due to the fact that we're in a bit of a rough patch."
Will was shocked as he heard Jay say that, as that was not something that he was picking up at the house. "What? You guys were all over each other though." Jay then realized how his brother was taking what he said, and he was taking it in a way that was referring to their relationship; but that was not how he was saying it, rather it was in an emotional way related to the situation. "Oh, we aren't talking about our marriage when I say that." Turning his head to look at his brother, Will was confused. "Okay, what are you talking about? What other way can there be?" Jay sighed. "Emotional. We're in a raw place, as this brings back all the emotions and memories of the twins' birth, and how this led to Alex and I no longer being able to have kids." Will took a breath and sighed.
After all, that must be hard for his brother to hear; especially when he loves being a dad. "How are you doing with that news? You doing okay with it?" Jay agreed with his brother as he asked him whether he was okay with not being a father ever again, because he was. He wants what's best for Alex, and it's clear to him that having another baby is not that. "At the end of the day, I'm Alex's husband first; and if her not giving birth to another child is what's best for her, then I am going to stand by her and make sure that we both just take it easy." Will agreed with his brother. "But are you done having more kids just with her giving birth? Or are you done, like completely? I hope you know there's other ways." Jay agreed with his brother, well aware that there are other ways to have kids.
"I know, but I am just not there yet. Right now, we are just going to concentrate on what matters. And that's her health."
Will agreed with his brother as he told him that, as that most certainly is what matters right now; Alex and her health, due to the fact that she just needs to take it easy for the rest of her time at home. "Now listen, do you want to practice the statement? Or are we going to wait for the office?" Will laughed. "I think you'd be the one who needs to practice, which was why I offered to drive us to the office." Jay shook his head as he heard Will say that, as that was never going to happen. "The only people who drive my pickup are me or Alex, and that's it. I love you, but you are not driving my nice pickup truck." Will laughed, and agreed with Jay as he said that; after all, he knew how possessive he was when it came to his vehicles…how both he and Alex were that way.
"Let's just get to the office, we have work to do."
Jay agreed with his brother as he said that, well aware that was the case; so, he just went ahead and continued to drive to the office so that they can get to work.