Hi Readers: My apologies for posting so late. But right when I was about to post this chapter, I decided to do something else that would be more appropriate for what I want to accomplish in this chapter. Thanks again for reading, and I hope you like this chapter
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-Four
December Thirteenth
Gabby, I know you're probably scared and worried as to where I am right now, but I promise that I'm okay and that all of the kids are okay; I just needed to go out for a bit, because I need to do something for myself. I promise, I'll be back before you know it and I'll be better when I get back. I just needed to go see my doctor for my PTSD. I hope you understand. -Matt XO
That was the message that Matt left for Gabby this morning in a handwritten note that was located on her side table, and boy did Gabby love it when he leaves handwritten notes on her side table; and that was a message that she was in the midst of conveying to her husband through text message, which Matt was reading as he sat in the Casey-Tripler Mental Health Clinic here at the hospital. And that was due to the fact that he had an emergency appointment that he just needed to see, because he needed medication; more specifically, he needed stronger medication than what he has due to the mess that he finds himself in. He's so stressed and worried lately, that he feels like he's going to explode; and right now, he just feels like he needs something else to help him.
More specifically, he feels like he needs a new prescription for stronger medicine; and he just hoped that he could get some, as he really felt like he needed some. And that was when he heard the voice calling him, calling him in so that he can go see his doctor. "Matthew Casey?" Looking up, Matt smiled as he saw the receptionist call for him; and boy was he glad that he was next, especially since it meant that he could get this whole mess over with. But first, he needed to read Gabby's text message that he just got.
'Matt, I think that's a good idea to get checked out; and if you think that you need a stronger dose, then I think you should get one. Baby, please don't suffer in silence like you did before you first told me that you had PTSD. You need to do what you need to do so that you can deal with this to the best of your ability. I promise, I'm fine. I love you, and I support you. -Gabby XO.
Smiling as he read the text message, Matt just knew that it came from the bottom of her heart; because there was just something in the way that she wrote that text message that made him feel like it was written with love, which it most certainly was. Gabby loves her husband more than anything, and she just wants the best for him; and if that means that he needs to go get a new prescription for his PTSD medication, then that most certainly is exactly what he's going to do. "Mr. Casey?" Turning his head, Matt came back to reality.
"Sorry, it was my wife. She's upstairs in the NICU and just woke up."
The receptionist got a bit concerned as she heard the patient say that, before wondering whether he was going to need to cancel his appointment. "Sir, would you like to reschedule?" Matt shook his head. "No, my children are all asleep and everything is fine. I just had to read the text message." Getting up, Matt proceeded to grab his journal that he's been keeping here in the hospital; a journal in which he's been writing down how he's been feeling. That way, he can tell his doctor what he thinks he needs. And hopefully, he can get it with the help of his doctor; Dr. James Kloefer, a PTSD specialist here at the hospital. And speaking of Dr. Kloefer, he just came out from the back right now. "Mr. Casey, how have you been?" Matt sighed as his doctor asked him said question.
"I could be better."
Getting concerned about his patients' statement, Dr. Kloefer couldn't help but wonder just how long he may need to talk to him; so, he decided to turn his head and look at the receptionist. "Hannah, do I have an appointment right after Mr. Casey?" Hannah shook her head as the doctor asked her about his schedule. "No doctor, you don't." Dr. Kloefer agreed. "Please make Mr. Casey's appointment a double session, I believe that we may need it." Hannah agreed with the doctor as he said that, while Matt just walked up to him. "You have no idea how much I appreciate that Dr. Kloefer." The doctor agreed with Matt, before smiling as he went to shake his hand. "How about we go to the back? And we can talk about what seems to be bothering you, and whether we can do anything to fix that."
Matt agreed with the doctor as he said that, as that was exactly what he wanted to have happen; he wants to fix what's going on, but he knows that's easier said than done. Especially when things aren't exactly in his control at the moment. But one thing that was in his control was Andy, whom he was looking at as he held his leach. "Andy, c'mon boy. Time to go see the doctor." Thinking that he meant the vet, Andy got worried; however, he was talking about his doctor. "Not the vet, my doctor Andy. Andy come now." Agreeing with Matt, Andy got up and proceeded to walk with him so that they can go see his doctor; at the same time, Hannah smiled. "I can only assume that he doesn't like to go to the vet?" Matt groaned. "He has to go next week." Hannah smiled and agreed. "Good luck."
Shaking his head as he made his way through the waiting room and into the hallway that led to the consult rooms, Matt took a breath as he knew that this was going to be hard; especially since he also knew that he may need to reveal some things, in order to get what he needs. He needs a higher dose, and he just knows it. He just hopes that, even with his background, Dr. Kloefer can understand and give him the dosage that he needs; while at the same time, maybe he can just make him feel relaxed and normal again. Whatever he can do to relax, and just be there for his family; then he'll do it, because it's what they need right now. They need him to be strong, and just do whatever they can to make sure that they're all taken care of by him; and right now, he feels like he's failing them a bit.
Sitting in the consult room after making his way back there with Andy, Matt took a breath as he kept his notepad in his hand while getting some of his blood drawn; after all, it was something that he requested be done ahead of time. He said that he wanted it to happen the moment he was here, because he knew that they were going to need it for what he wants; and that would be a higher dosage than he already has, which he hopes that Dr. Kloefer can understand that he needs it. And if that meant that he needed to reveal his latest tragedies and some of his most recent PTSD, then Matt was going to do it just so that he can get more medication. Because that's how serious he is about this. He needs this medication, and that's why he's ready to open up to him if he needs to.
But at the same time, Matt turned his head and looked down at his service dog. "Good boy Andy, that's a good boy." Laying down on the ground, he smiled and just took it easy; at the same time, Matt's nurse smiled…especially since they're friends. "So, you like it here at the CKT Clinic for Mental Health?" Laughing as she heard Matt say that, April Sexton agreed. "I'm just surprised that you haven't asked for Ethan to be your doctor, as you know each other." Matt sighed. "It's on purpose." April was confused as she heard Matt say that. "Care to explain to a friend?" Matt agreed. "I don't want a situation like the one me and Gabby are in with Kelly and Stella, to affect my medical treatment." April agreed with Matt, because that most certainly is something that could definitely happen.
And it also makes a lot of sense when you think about it. "I think that makes perfect sense. Keep the professional and medical separate, so that you can always have your doctor to lean on." Matt agreed. "And believe me, I need my doctor right now so that I can deal with this. I really need to get some help from him, so that I can get some relief." Taking a breath, April looked at her friend. "How are you doing Matt? Are you and Gabby okay up there? How about the stress?" Matt sighed. "That's why I need to be here, I just feel like I need to get something to help me. I need to get a higher dosage, and just something to help me relax some more." April agreed with Matt, clearly able to see just how much of a toll all of this stress has done to him. He's no longer the same man that she knew.
"I hope you know that people do want to help you Matt, and that we can help you too. Sure, we may not be as close to you as you are with Kelly and Stella; but me and Ethan are your friends, and we can always help you out when it comes to your PTSD. Heaven knows that we need to deal with it." Matt sighed as he heard April say that. "I prefer to talk to Jay about it, as he knows what I'm talking about; he knows what we've gone through, because he's been through it. We have that connection, and there's just something about it that makes me like to speak to him instead." April agreed with Matt as he said that, completely understanding where he's coming from. "And that's something that I most certainly understand and can definitely allow you to do, just remember to breathe."
Matt laughed as he heard April say that, as that's something that he's doing all day, every day. "I do it all day April, I breathe and pray that my family gets out of the hospital safe and sound." April nodded as she heard Matt say that, while going to collect a vile of blood from him; that way, they could check his levels. "I hope that the lab isn't backed up, because then we might not be able to get your dosage to you tonight; you may have to wait until we can check it. I hope you know that you may not get the script today." Matt laughed. "April, as long as I get it; that's what matters at the end of the day." April agreed with Matt as he said that, before smiling as she finished taking the last vile of blood; after which, she got up and smiled as she went to clean him up. "He'll be in soon."
Matt agreed with his friend as he said that, well aware that was the case; but first, he wanted to check something. "Do you know if Kelly came in yesterday, and how it went?" April nodded as Matt asked her whether Kelly came in. "Yeah, he came in. And as expected, he has PTSD just like you. I asked the nurse, and she told me as I'm his friend." Matt agreed with April as she said that, before sighing. "I hate that we're in this situation right now." April agreed. "Maybe reach out to Jay, ask him to help Kelly until your relationship is better." Matt agreed with April as she said that, as that's a great idea. "Thanks April, I'll do just that as I wait for Dr. Kloefer." April agreed with Matt as he said that, before taking off her gloves and leaving the exam room with the blood samples.
Meanwhile, Matt proceeded to grab his phone so that he could give Jay and Alex a call.
Halstead Residence, Farmers Rd – He just finished with a video conference call with the NYPD-SVU Squad to get some more information for the SVU Course that the company is creating, with their assistance; and based on how much he just spoke to Benson and Tutuola about what he needs to include in the course, he knows that this truly is a big task. But he also knows that it's a task that he and Alex can handle together. He just hopes that Matt knows he still does plan on working even though he's on semi-paternity leave; and that's all due to the fact that he needs to take some time off. But what he didn't expect, was for him to call him this morning; because it was as if he knew that he was working, and he was wondering whether he was monitoring his account.
"Okay, if you're calling to tell me that you're monitoring my account while you're in the hospital, then I am going to be really freaked out."
Laughing as he heard Jay say that, Matt went to calm him down. "In what spare time, last time I checked I have three kids in the hospital and a wife." Jay agreed with Matt as he said that, while leaning back in his chair. "Then what do I owe the pleasure of this call from my friend this morning." Matt sighed as Jay asked him that question. "I'm not sure if you're aware, but me and Kelly have had a falling out of late." Jay agreed with Matt as he said that. "Oh, me and Alex know; we got an earful from him yesterday when they came over for supper, and we spoke about it last night just the two of us." Matt sighed as he heard Jay say that. "Do I even want to know what he said?" Jay agreed. "Kelly and Stella understand after we spoke about it, and they are just going to lay low for now."
To say that Matt was shocked after hearing that would be an understatement, as he thought that he was hearing things. "Sorry, did you just say what I thought you said? Or am I hearing things?" Jay laughed as he heard Matt say that, before going to grab his AirPods. After which, he proceeded to put them in his ears so that he could continue to work while speaking to Matt. "I know, it was shocking to hear as well. But I think we're all just trying to figure things out, so that we can all be friends again when you and your kids are out of the hospital. Speaking of which, how are Gabby, Bella, Sofia, and Noah?" Matt smiled. "Gabby's recovering nicely. Bella and Sofia are great, and Noah's doing fine; Matteo's happy to be here with us now." Jay was a bit surprised, as he didn't know that part.
"I had no idea that Matteo was there with you guys, is he hurt like Noah?"
Matt could hear the worry in his voice and went to reassure his fellow PTSD patient that Matteo was okay. "Oh, Matteo's absolutely fine; we just wanted to have him here with us, as we're not doing anything. And we just want to be together as a family right now." Jay agreed with his friend as he said that, as he can definitely understand wanting that. "If I were in your shoes while we were in the hospital with Michael and Olivia, then I would be saying the same thing." Matt smiled as he heard Jay talk about his children. "How are they? What are they now, two and a half months?" Jay agreed with Matt as he asked him whether they were two and a half months now, which they most certainly are. "I still can't believe we're less than two weeks away from Christmas, and that my tree's up."
Matt agreed with Jay, before taking a breath, which made Jay realize that he shouldn't have said that. "I'm so sorry Matt, I really didn't even think. I really mean that, and please accept my apology." Matt agreed with Jay. "I know that Jay, just take a breath and relax." Jay sighed. "I guess my happiness for my kids' first Christmas, it just got the best of me." Matt agreed. "Jay, I mean it. I'm okay. As long as my wife and kids are okay on Christmas, then I am going to be a happy man." Jay agreed with Matt, clearly able to hear that was the case in his voice. "Well, I'm glad. So, what are you calling for?" Matt sighed. "Oh, just me waiting a bit. Doing bloodwork to get a new PTSD prescription." Jay sighed as he heard Matt say that, as he had a bad feeling that was going to happen after this.
"I can only assume that it's really starting to get bad now?"
Matt agreed with his friend, as it most certainly is. "It is, and I just feel like I need something stronger." Jay agreed. "I did the same thing when we were in the hospital with the twins, and I haven't looked back. I even kept it now that we're home, and we both love it." Matt agreed with Jay as he said that. "Maybe don't rub it in that you're home, because I would rather be home than here any day." Jay agreed with his friend as he said that, well aware that was the case. "Hey, just think of it this way; each day in the hospital, is one day closer to having your family home for good. Now, you guys going back to the office or to the big house?" Matt laughed. "I'm taking a couple months off. I'm not going to be back until either the summer, or even the Fall of 2020. However, I will work from home."
Jay agreed with his friend as he said that, as that makes complete sense that he would take a bunch of time off. "Honestly Matt, what I think you should do is just work when you want. Things are going smoothly at Casey right now, and I think that we can keep going like this until your kids are older. Just take it easy and concentrate on Gabby and those adorable kids of yours. Antonio may have shown me the pictures you sent him." Matt agreed with Jay as he said that. "Honestly man, I have no idea how you did it. My PTSD has just gotten way worse since I first got diagnosed, and it's harder the second time around; especially now that I have daughters." Jay agreed with Matt as he said that, as that most certainly would be harder; having to see your daughters in pain, is way worse than your son.
"I wish I could disagree with you when you say that it's harder to see your girls in pain, than it is your sons."
Matt agreed with Jay as he said that, before letting out a sigh. "At least we know what to expect this time, and we can just relax and take it easy with each other as we figure all of this out." Jay agreed with Matt, as that's exactly what he wants to hear. "Well, I'm glad that you're taking it easy." Matt agreed with his friend as he said that. "We are, and we're taking it one day at a time." Jay agreed, before smirking when he started to hear the shower running. "Listen, I'm not going to take too long. I know you called me to talk, but I have some things to take care of here while the kids are still asleep." Matt laughed as he heard Jay say that, well aware of what was really going on. "Alex just wake up?" Jay snickered as his boss asked him that. "Am I that predictable?" Matt agreed with Jay.
After all, both of the men want their wives whenever they can. "I think we can both agree that we love to spend time alone with our wives, whenever we get a chance to do just that; especially when our kids are still asleep, and just have plenty of time to be with our wives." Jay agreed with Matt as he said that, as that's exactly what he wants to do right now; he wants to spend time with Alex, and just be with her before the kids wake up. "Well, I'm glad to hear some happiness in your voice. If you ever need to call, just know that you can always talk to me; I know you don't have many guy friends to talk to, and I want you to know that I'm here for you Matt." Matt agreed with his friend. "By the way, Kelly just got diagnosed with PTSD." Jay sighed, as he had a feeling that he'd get that news.
"I swear, we need to get a group together where we just get together every couple week and talk about PTSD."
Matt laughed as he heard Jay say that. "Like a support group? Count me out, because I am not talking about THAT with you guys." Jay was well aware of what he was referring to, and just agreed with his friend; after all, he would never force him to talk about what happened with his father if he doesn't feel like he can talk about it. "And that's fine Matt, but just know that I'm always here. Now listen, I need to get going. I want to spend a bit of time with Alex before the kids wake up, and we need to take care of them." Matt agreed with Jay. "Don't work too hard, and just take it easy for a while." Jay agreed. "I promise, we will. And the same goes to you. Now, just breathe and take it easy." Matt laughed. "Not like I have a choice; I'm giving blood right now." Jay was confused.
He's giving blood, while his wife and children are in the hospital. "You're donating blood?" Matt then realized how he took what he said. "Oh, I'm not giving blood to the Red Cross; I'm getting some drawn, so that my doctor can readjust my meds." Jay then understood and knew that he was talking about. "Okay, I get what you mean now. But remember to just take it easy and relax, as this isn't a race; you just need to concentrate on your health, as well as the health of your family right now." Matt agreed with Jay as he said that, as he was well aware that was the case. "Thanks for reminding me Jay, now I'll let you go so that you can spend time with Alex." Jay agreed with Matt as he said that, as that was exactly what he wanted to do as he ended the call.
After which, he moved to put his phone back in his pocket while smirking. "Well, looks like I need to get in the shower with Alex. Boss' orders dictate that's what I need to do, since he told me to go spend time with Alex."
Halstead Primary Bathroom – He couldn't help but love the sight that was in front of him as he walked into the bathroom of his and Alex's room this morning, as it was the sight of his gorgeous wife naked in the shower; and damn did she look hot, and boy did he want to run his hands all over that body. And now that he was in here, that's exactly what he plans on doing with his beautiful wife. He plans on joining her in the shower, so that he can help wash her as he ran his hands all over her. But first, he needs to do something else; and that would be to actually get in the shower, not that it's going to be hard when Alex already wants that. She always wants him in the shower, because it gives them a chance to be intimate with each other; and for him to run his hands all over her body.
And right now, that's exactly what they both want. They both want him to get in the shower and run his hands all over her body; and if that's what Alex wants, then it's what she's going to get from him. And that starts right now, as he went ahead and set his fresh pair of boxers down on the counter, which is all that Jay plans on wearing today, unless they go for a swim then he'll wear some swim trunks. But all that he knows, is that he wants to run his hands all over Alex's body today; especially if she's going to wear lingerie for him. And knowing his wife, he has a feeling that she's going to do exactly that for him. Not that he would ever complain about her decision to wear lingerie, as it's exactly what he wants her to do; he wants her to wear lingerie and allow him to run his hands all over her body.
And that's exactly what he's about to do now that he's getting in the shower with Alex; well, just after he calms her down. As it seems that he startled her as he came in this morning. "Sorry, did I startle you?" Looking at Jay as he asked her that, Alex nodded as she was startled. "Sorry, I didn't expect you to come in; I thought that you already took a shower." Jay shook his head as Alex mentioned that she thought that he already took a shower, as he most certainly did not; not when he didn't want to wake her up, especially not when she looked so adorable as she slept this morning. "Oh, I didn't take one; because you looked so adorable, and I didn't want to wake you up." Smiling as she heard Jay say that, Alex then watched as he got close to her and put his hand on her neck this morning.
After which, she put her hands on his muscular chest and just smiled as she leaned up and kissed him softly. "God, I love this already." Jay smirked as he heard Alex tell him that, well aware of the fact that she already loves that they're in the shower with each other; because she always loves it when they're in the shower together, because it gives him time to run his hands all over her body. "Just admit it, you love it when we're in the shower with each other." Alex laughed as she heard Jay say that, as that most certainly is the truth. "Just remember to stay quiet, as the kids are still asleep." Jay smirked as he heard Alex say that, before moving his hand to her neck; after which, he bent down and proceeded to kiss her neck softly. "I think that's more your priority." Moaning, Alex agreed.
After all, this is exactly what she wants to have her husband do; she wants her husband to hold her in his arms and make her feel extremely loved. And right now, that's exactly what Jay's doing as they took a shower with each other. They took things nice and slow with each other, and just concentrated on how much they love each other; because that most certainly is exactly how they're feeling right now, they love each other more than anything and are just happy to be alone right now. "I love you so much Alex." Alex agreed with Jay as he told her that, well aware that was the case. "I love you too Jay, forever." Jay smirked as he heard Alex say that, while continuing to take things nice and slow with his beautiful wife this morning; after all, this is exactly what they both want to do.