Hi Readers: And Happy Fourth of July to my American friends. I want to first apologize for starting a bit later than normal, but I did some story planning as I got some things ready for you guys; hopefully, you guys enjoy my gift to America today as they celebrate Two Hundred and Forty-Seven years of existence. Now, let's get back to the story, which is not taking place in July.
Chapter Two Hundred and Ninety-Six
Regrets
"Do you ever regret going for the girls so soon after we had the boys?" -Gabriela Casey
The question ended up hanging in the air for a while, before Matt even thought of what to say to Gabby; after all, he truly had no ideas whatsoever just how to answer that question. And it was also a tricky one, based on the situation in which they find themselves in; with all the motions and worries that they're dealing with right now, it might set her off and cause a fight that they do not need to have right now. Nor should they be fighting, when they have a bunch of things that they still need to talk about; and when they have all of their children with them today, so he had to give a very diplomatic answer. But just what might his answer even be? Because Matt truly wasn't sure, simply due to the fact that there are so many what ifs that are playing through his mind right now. And there was a really big question that he's been pondering ever since Gabby asked him that question in the first place.
Would they have had a chance to meet their son if they had waited to go for another child?
But at the same time, you also need to wonder; would they have even gotten pregnant with triplets in the first place, let alone twins, had they not waited. Would they have had daughters? Or would they have had more sons? There are so many questions that can go through his mind right now, and he really would not like to thing about them. But now that Gabby's brought them up this morning, he feels like he doesn't have a choice; he has to think about the questions, and he has to give Gabby some answers. Because as her husband, he owes her those answers; even though they main be painful, he needs to let his wife know just where his mind is at right now. And that's exactly what Matt plans on doing, as he turned his head and proceeded to kiss Gabby's forehead softly. "First, I want it noted for the record I hate these types of questions; questions that make me play the what if game in my mind, and just make my mind wander and wonder about all the possibilities. Especially since it also leads me to rethinking my choices."
Gabby agreed with her husband as he told her that, clearly seeing that was something that was going on in his mind right now; but at the same time, she doesn't want them to just be going on in his mind at the moment. And that's due to the fact that she wants him to share what's going on in his mind. She wants him to talk to her, so that they can deal with what's going on in his mind together; and so that they're on the same page, which is critical in these times. "Then I hope you're going to talk to me baby, because I want to help you deal with this; please, open up to me just like you just did when it came to your PTSD medicine." Matt agreed with his wife as she said that, well aware that he needs to do just that. He needs to open up to her, just like he did with his PTSD medicine. "I think, there's always going to be that question in the back of my mind. Had we waited, would this have happened? Would all of this have happened? Would we have had that partial miscarriage? Or would we be a family of seven right now instead of a family of six."
Gabby agreed with Matt as he said that, continuing to listen to the man she loves; as he clearly has a lot to say, and a lot of opinion when it comes to the topic that they just started talking about. She just hopes that she doesn't come to regret having asked him this question, which is clearly opening up a whole can of worms that she never even expected to speak about in the first place; heck, maybe Matt didn't even think they'd ever talk about this, and that's why he's a bit hesitant to say much right now. "I mean, at the end of the day; I'm happy with the children we have, and I don't think we need more than what we have. We have Matteo and Noah, and we have the girls. And at the end of the day, that's all that matters." Gabby agreed with Matt, as she feels the same way about that. The fact that they have Matteo, Noah, Bella, and Sofia…no matter when they were born, or how they were born; all that matters is that they have them in their lives, and that they are their children…and not just for now, but for the rest of their lives.
But she also knew based on the way Matt spoke to her, that there was a but coming in his sentence, which there most certainly was, for good reason. "But, based on the situation that we now find ourselves in, and the statistics that clearly state that this is much more likely when you do back-to-back pregnancies; personally, I would have waited if it was possible." Gabby agreed with Matt as he told her that, while also reading for his hand and rubbing it. "But under no circumstances does that mean that I would do anything differently during the pregnancy." Gabby was confused as she heard Matt say that, because that part was puzzling her.
"You wouldn't have protected me from Stella, if you could go back?"
Matt bit his lip. After all, he literally walked right into that one; but at the same time, he knew that Gabby would let him explain what he means…because she always lets him explain what he means, to get context. I mean, she has to know that he wouldn't try and make sure that wouldn't happen if they could go back and change things. Rather, it would be the complete opposite. Instead of having that happen, she would've tried and made sure that they go as far as they could in the pregnancy ahead of them giving birth; as then, they might not be in this situation. They may be going home in a few days, rather than in a few months. Because if there's one thing that Matt knows, it's that he most certainly does not like the fact that they have to spend the next couple months here in the hospital; but hey, at least he loves the company that he has here in the hospital. But that's not the point right now, as that would be the topic that they're in the midst of talking about, which would be whether or not he would protect her from Stella, if he had a chance to go back; and the answer to that question was simple. "Yes, I would go back Gabby. Are you kidding me? Did you really need to ask that question, when you should've known automatically that I would've gone back?" Gabby agreed with Matt as he said that, clearly able to see that she made him upset when she asked him that question.
"Sorry I asked you that question in the first place Matt."
Taking a breath as he heard Gabby say that, Matt shook his head as he didn't want her to apologize; rather, he was the one that needed to apologize. And that's due to the fact that he shouldn't have spoken to her in that manner. She's his wife, and the woman he loves; and if she has a question that she needs to ask him, then she has every right to ask him questions that she has on her mind. "Hey, I don't want you to apologize…" Taking a breath, Matt sighed as he looked at Gabby; after which, he turned to look at both of the boys. After all, he knew that right now; they weren't in the right place for this conversation, not when Matt needs to be holding somebody other than Noah right now. Rather than holding Noah right now, he needs to be holding Gabby as they talk about this together; and so that they can get through this easily, without too much fighting. As the last thing he wants, is to fight with his wife.
But if he does fight with her, he doesn't want Matteo and Noah to be in the middle of it. "Listen, I think right now Matteo and Noah need to be somewhere else right now." Gabby was concerned as she heard Matt say that. "Wait, I thought you wanted them here?" Looking at Gabby as she asked him that, he agreed. "I do, I just meant like…maybe in their play pen or something; because I want to hold you as we talk about this and look into your eyes. I don't want to yell at you and…" Agreeing with her husband as he said that, Gabby leaned in and proceeded to kiss him softly. "I think that's a good idea. Let's put them in the play pen, and then we can hold each other as we talk about this." Matt agreed with Gabby as she said that, glad that they're on the same page when it comes to what's best for the boys right now; and unfortunately, that's for them to not be in their laps as this conversation may get heated.
Getting up once more shortly after getting the boys all set up in their crib/play pen, Matt stretched a bit as that was something that he always did whenever he wasn't in bed with Gabby; after all, the bed isn't the most comfortable thing. And that was something that Gabby could definitely agree with her husband about; the fact that this bed is not comfortable and will never be nearly as comfortable as their bed at home. Because that's the bed that's really comfortable, which they most certainly will always enjoy sleeping in; but right now, they're stuck sleeping in this bed as they want to be together as a family. Matt wants to be here with his girls, and they want to have the boys with them at the same time; and luckily, that's exactly what he and Gabby have. They have all of their children here together, including Andy who has always been such a great help during these times. And that includes when they're in fights.
Or at least, when they might be in fights. If things start getting too heated, then he can go take a walk with Andy and make him go to the washroom; because at the end of the day, that's something that he needs to do quite often…just like how he and Gabby have to talk. And that's due to the fact that marriage is all about communication, which is exactly what they're going to do with each other right now; just like they did when they were in the RV almost seventeen months ago now. God, the things that can change in eighteen months; the biggest change, being the fact that they now have four children that they need to take care of together. But not just that, that they need to make sure that they have a healthy marriage for, which is why he and Gabby are going to just take it easy today, and relax as they have a conversation before things get too heated. Because the last thing he wants, is for them to have to take a break.
Well, not like you think; they wouldn't separate of course, he might just go spend a night with one of the boys at the house. But that's a last case scenario, as he would much rather work things out with Gabby here rather than stay away from her. And right now, that's exactly what he's hoping to be able to do as they get ready to speak to each other now that he's back in bed; and quite comfortable in bed might I add, simply due to the fact that he's holding the love of his life in his arms. Because just holding Gabby in his arms, that makes him very happy; even if they are fighting, he always wants to be with her. Just maybe not here, where tensions can really blow up. But now, time to cool things down. "Okay, first I want to apologize for how I worded things with Matteo and Noah. I hope you know that I want to be here with them and the girls." Gabby agreed with Matt, well aware that was the case; and always will be.
"I should've known that, and I'm sorry for thinking any other way than that way."
Matt agreed with Gabby as she said that, while also laying down nice and close to the woman he loves; the woman he's always loved and is extremely proud to call his wife. And that's exactly why he just leaned in and kissed the woman he loves more than anything, who just so happens to also be the love of his life, his gorgeous wife, and the mother of his beautiful children. "I love you." Gabby agreed with Matt as he told her that he loves her, which is something that she knows and reciprocates. "I love you too Matt." Matt agreed with Gabby, smiling at her as he went ahead and gave her one last kiss; after which, he proceeded to talk to her about what they need to talk about. And that would be what was on their minds prior to him putting the boys on the ground, rather than the two of them being in their laps as they cuddle up to each other as a family in bed. (Which is quite comfortable).
But back to the topic at hand, the fact that she even doubted for a second as to whether he would've protected her from Stella some more if he had a chance to do so, which the answer is yes, because that's what he would do in a heartbeat. "Gabby, you have to know that I hate that I wasn't able to protect you from Stella; because I really do, and never want to see you hurt. And to see all of us here in the hospital, this is the last thing that I want. I want to be home as a family, and I want to be all cuddled up to you in our bed as the girls sleep in their cribs in our room; I don't want to be here in the hospital, just hoping each and every day that they survive so that we can take them home with us." Gabby agreed with Matt as he said that, before smiling as she stared into his eyes. "And I think you already knew that deep down baby, that I want that more than anything; to be at home, with you and the kids today." Gabby agreed.
Especially since she wants the same thing. She wants to be home with her husband, cuddling up to him and the kids in their bed. "That's all I want. I want to be in bed with you, holding you close to me." Matt smirked and agreed with Gabby, glad that they're on the same page. "And I know that, had I protected you from Stella…we could be at home with you still being pregnant. But right now, we're just taking it easy and we're here. While not ideal, we both know that this is the second-best place for us to be right now due to the fact that we're safe and the girls are being taken care of." Gabby agreed with Matt as she felt the same way, how the hospital is the second-best place for their family to be when they need their children to be taken care of by experts. Experts like they have here in the NICU, who are doing such an amazing job in making sure that their daughters are taken care of to the best of their abilities.
But at the same time, they're also taking great care of Gabby and making sure that she recovers at the same time. "And soon, we're going to be holding each other close in bed once more; because we both want that to be our reality, as we cuddle up to each other in our bed at home." Gabby smiled as she heard Matt say that, as that most certainly is exactly what she wants. "More specifically, I want to be naked in bed with you." Matt smirked as he heard Gabby say that, as that most certainly is something that he was but at the same time, he also wants something else. And that would be to hold her close right now, and kiss her softly, which is exactly what he did, as he moved his hands to her shirt. However, that wasn't going to happen until he took his shirt off. "Ah, not until you take yours off." Agreeing with Gabby, Matt smirked as he proceeded to sit up and take off his shirt for her so that he was shirtless.
God the sight of his shirtless body in front of her is something that Gabby will always enjoy, especially when her man is also just wearing his boxers. But this time, he wasn't wearing his tight boxers; rather, he was wearing loose boxers. "Let me guess, decided to switch it up on me?" Matt agreed with Gabby as she asked him whether he decided to switch things up on her, as that's exactly what he decided to do. He decided to wear something that was less sexy for her, so that she could stay calm. "You need to stay calm and just take it easy after all baby." Gabby agreed with Matt as he told her that, well aware that was the case. "Does that mean that I don't get my husband in bed with me?" Snickering, Matt shook his head as that was the last thing that she was ever going to have to worry about. "Let me tell you this, you're never going to have to worry about me not wanting to be in bed with you my dear."
Gabby agreed with Matt as he told her that, as she could see that he was more than ready to get in bed with her, which was the entire reason why he was currently getting close to her and climbing into bed. "God, I am so glad that it's just the two of us again." Matt agreed with Gabby as she said that, as he felt the same way. As much as he loves the boys, he would much rather have it just be the two of them in bed. "I feel the same way, because there's nothing like holding the woman I love in bed." Wrapping his arm around Gabby, Matt smirked as he leaned in and kissed her softly. "I love you." Gabby agreed with Matt as he said that, before responding with her automatic response. "I love you too, forever." Matt smiled as he heard Gabby say that, and just went ahead and took things nice and slow with the woman of his dreams. Meanwhile, Gabby put her hand on his face and just continued to kiss him softly.
After all, this was what she wanted. She wanted her husband to kiss her, and just take things nice and slow with her; because this is her dream come true, to hold the man she loves close to her as they cuddle up to each other in bed. "God, I love holding you close to me like this." Matt agreed with Gabby as she said that, well aware that was a cold heard fact. "Oh, I know that; and it's why I'm holding you like this right now. It's also why I plan on holding you like this for the rest of my life, and especially when we're home with each other in bed." Gabby agreed with Matt as she felt him stroke her lower back with his thumb, while at the same time she ran her wedding ring down his cheekbone. "God, have I missed that feeling." Gabby agreed with Matt as he told her that, well aware that he's missed the feeling of her wedding ring on his skin; in fact, she's missed the feeling of her wedding ring on her finger.
She just can't believe that she didn't jump at the chance to put it on, right when she could. "I'm just surprised that I didn't put my wedding ring back on the moment I could." Matt agreed with Gabby as she said that, before kissing her once more. "And that's fine, because you had a bunch of other stuff on your mind. Believe me Gabby, the ring was the least of our concerns; what really mattered, was making sure that our family is okay." Gabby agreed with her dreamy husband as he said that, as that most certainly is the truth. Leaning her forehead against his afterwards, Gabby just smiled as there was something about the way that they're holding each other close that really makes her happy. "I'm happy." Matt agreed with Gabby as she said that. "Does it have anything to do with the fact that our family is now complete? With the two of us, and our four kids?" Gabby smiled as she heard Matt say that.
"Oh, I most certainly love the fact that we have four beautiful children."
As Gabby mentioned the fact that they have four beautiful children now once more, Matt couldn't help but smile due to the fact that this truly is a dream come true; and that's simply due to the fact that he's always wanted to be a father, and now he is. And even better, he's a father to his and Gabby's children. Because never in a million years could he see himself being a father to any other children, because he loves his wife too much; and even better, she gave birth to all of his children. "I hope you know how much it means to me that you gave birth to all of my kids." Gabby was a bit taken aback as she heard Matt say that, as that was never something that she thought he'd say. "Hey, where did that come from Matt?" Taking a breath, Matt sighed as he looked at the woman he loves; the woman who's given him this life as a father, while having to go through two really hard births to do just that.
"Baby, to give me the kids; you had to go through two hard births."
Gabby agreed with Matt as he said that, understanding now what he meant when he said what he said; how it means a lot to him that she was the one that made him a father to their four children. "Matt, it was my pleasure; and it will always be my pleasure to give you children, because I love you. You are such an amazing father, and the pain is worth the result. I know that the pregnancies and births were hard but look where we are now. We have four amazing kids, and our life is just going to keep getting so much better for the rest of our lives; we're going to be able to watch our children grow up in front of our eyes, as we grow old with each other." Matt agreed with Gabby as she said that, before kissing her once more. "And even better, we don't have to worry about using protection anymore." Gabby agreed with Matt, as that most certainly is something that she's happy about. "I agree with you there Mr. Casey."
Matt agreed with Gabby as she said that, while stroking her back with his thumb; afterwards, he smiled as he felt Gabby cuddle up to him some more while wrapping her arms around his neck. After which, he decided to tug the covers down a bit and run his hand up and down her back. After all, he does love it when he gets time with Gabby like this; he'll always like it when they're like this, because he loves Gabby. "I'm glad we have the boys here, but I hate that it means that we can be interrupted." Gabby agreed with Matt as he said that. "But that's our life now baby, we have to be interrupted all the time." And that was when Matt and Gabby both heard a voice coming from the entrance to their room/hospital condo suite. "Now if that isn't the truth."