Akira gets a new job title
Her eyes were open before her brain was online.
"Oh, you're awake!"
She looked over at the man sitting at her bedside. "Who the hell are you," she croaked out.
The stranger with the stupid goatee shook his head. "You missed a lot. Let me get Touka."
"You're in that CCG safe house you stole the keys to. You had a collapsed lung, and they had to do that thing you only see in movies where they stick a needle in your chest to let the air out! You humans are so frail." Touka shook her head, still fascinated by the medical drama she got to witness firsthand.
She continued. "We managed to get you through, between Banjo helping regenerate the worst wounds with RC cells, then Dr. Ogura patching everything else up. But then you started having this horrible immune reaction to the RC cells. It took a couple of doses of that suppressant, but you should be back down to normal human levels."
"And how much of that was you guys making it up as you go along?"
Touka waved her hand. "Oh, all of it. Who knows if there'll be any weird side effects in a few years, but the point is you're alive now."
Akira held up the wrist that had been broken. It rotated freely and had a full range of motion. No twinges, no catching. "At least I don't have to wear a cast."
"Would you like some…what's that rice porridge stuff called?"
"Kayu. Yeah, I think I could go for something simple like that."
The look of relief on Touka's face was surprising.
"What," Akira asked suspiciously.
"Nothing. We were just a bit worried at how high your RC levels were…for a couple of days you were probably legally a ghoul, but your system clearly wasn't handling it well. The nerds around here got excited because it's new information on the ghoulification process. There was some worry that the huge sudden infusion of RC cells from a ghoul would start to have a similar effect on you as a kakuho transplant, or give you ROS. Now we know that's not true."
Akira thought about it for a moment. "Nope, the fact that you eat human flesh is still extremely gross to me."
They both laughed, but it felt forced.
Finally Akira took a bracing breath and said, "Enough small talk. Tell me what I missed. Is Amon…"
"Yeah, he's fine," Touka rushed to reassure her. "It sounds like the Quinx took him down, but when they were regrouping after, some of our people managed to hit Amon with the RC suppressants and sneak him away before anyone noticed he was gone. They tossed him on the last boat off of Rushima. But…it's not all good news."
"I figured as much. You're working awfully hard to distract me."
She nodded and stood up. "Hold on. Let me check on Ichika and ask Yoriko to cook you some kayu. Then I'll tell you everything." With that she left the room.
Akira flopped back on the bed. They're alive and safe. That's something.
Akira slowly ate a bowl of porridge. Touka sat at her bedside, telling the story of her adventure in Cochlea, and as much as she knew of what had happened elsewhere.
Upon hearing what Ayato had done, she groaned. "He was just supposed to meet Yomo so they could sneak in together."
Then, a few minutes later, "Take defected?!" She set the spoon down in shock.
The ghoul nodded. "He's over at the café. I've got you, Yoriko, and Ichika hidden here and the people who are more able to defend themselves staying in some spare rooms above the café, since that's a bit more public."
"So…if there was some sort of attack that wiped out most of the Washus, what does the CCG look like right now?"
"The reputation of the previous CCG leadership is in shambles after Hide leaked all those files. Furuta's doing a great job of distancing himself. Criticism's still swirling, but he's making a big deal about being the new, more transparent chairman that you can trust to destroy ghouls." She leaned back with a frown. "I see him giving press conferences on the news all the time. He's very good. He's got a lot of charisma."
Ugh, an opponent with emotional intelligence. My worst nightmare, thought Akira. "And he's our traitor, by the way. I don't think I've mentioned that yet. He winked at me as I was heading to Rushima, and I'll bet he's the one that got my key card deactivated. He must have known about me for a while…but he kept it quiet."
Akira took another bite of her food. It was a simple dish, but she was so hungry it might have been the best meal she'd ever had. "Though I still don't understand his angle, if he's going all-in on leading the CCG. Why let me stew? Why not take me out?"
"I really don't know. Everything is weird now, though. Between the fiasco with Takatsuki and Hide helping discredit the CCG, though, the mood out there is…strange."
"Maybe there's an opportunity there." If public opinion is really that mushy, then the future will be decided by whoever can win the power struggle at the CCG and galvanize the public. It's an unprecedented window of opportunity, but it'll close fast. "At least it was never Arima against us."
"There's, uh, one more thing." Touka hesitated. She finally took a deep breath and spoke. "Arima's dead. Everyone's saying Kaneki killed him."
Akira quietly set her bowl aside. Folded her hands on her lap, stared down at them. "Oh."
"Akira…"
She pulled the blanket tighter around her, wishing it would all go away. "Could I…be by myself for a while, please?"
Touka paused. "Yeah. If that's what you need." She got up and shuffled out of the room, softly closing the door behind her.
It was only a couple of hours later that Amon stopped by, and he brought her cat.
News that I'm awake must have gotten around fast.
Without saying a word, he handed her the cat and sat at her bedside.
After giving Maris Stella a good long hug, enjoying the purring warmth in her lap, Akira looked at Amon from the corner of her eye. He looked tired but otherwise healthy.
"I was scared you were going to die," he finally said.
She retorted, "I was scared you were going to die, you oaf. Of all the times you could lose it and become a kakuja, you had to pick the most inconvenient one."
He was quiet. She knew it was terrible of her to bring it up, that he surely felt terrible and it was a very upsetting experience for him, but she had to take out some of her frustration on someone.
She softened the blow. "But I'm so grateful they managed to get you back safely."
He smiled at her but it didn't reach his eyes. "I am, too. Seeing you hurt like that was…" He cleared his throat, not wanting to relive the memory any more than he had to. "When I came to on the boat, I…I could smell your blood in the air. We were following the boat you were on. I was sure when we landed, they would tell me…"
The thought of how close they had come to watching each other die hung in the air. It was a long time before Akira spoke again.
"I knew people were going to die, but…so many. I watched Hoji die, along with his whole squad. Arima's dead, Aura was wounded…" Akira looked down at her hands, clenching each other. "I...keep rethinking everything. I thought I was doing the right thing…it seemed like the right thing at the time…"
"And now?"
"Now…it's all wrong. I can't remember why I thought I was right, why I thought I could make these decisions when lives hang in the balance. I can never go back ever again, can I?"
Amon leaned back and looked at her with that steady gaze. "The night is dark and we are far from home."
"Yeah. Really damn far from home."
"But…we're alive and we've made it this far."
"Yeah." She looked down at her hands, idly rubbing at the wrist that should have been shattered. "What do we do now? Leave? Or stay and see it through?"
"I'll stay with you, whichever you decide." He fixed her with a piercing stare. "Are you asking me because you don't know, or because you do?"
Maybe he knew her too well.
Amon left soon after, after giving her orders to rest.
She had a hard time staying awake for the next couple of days—as if all her energy had gone to healing, and now she had to catch up on regular sleep. She drifted in and out of naps.
In the main room, she could hear Touka and Yoriko's muffled conversation, interspersed with Ichika's baby gibberish. Maris Stella was purring on the pillow near her head. It was almost cozy.
During one of those quiet lulls, when she'd drifted off without realizing it, she was awoken by a gentle knock on the door frame.
Touka stood in the doorway. "Do you think you can take a walk outside? I think it's time you got some fresh air."
Akira was quiet for a long time, curled up on her bed and staring at the wall.
"Akira?"
"Yes. Fine. Let me get dressed."
They took a slow, quiet walk down the street to a nearby park. Her legs were weak, but Akira insisted on doing it without help. She stared down at the ground, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other.
At least it was a nice day. It felt good to breathe fresh air, with the sun on her skin. The rustling of the wind in the trees suddenly seemed lovelier than it ever had before.
Soon, they came to a hill overlooking a grassy park. A playground was at the bottom.
Touka paused by the railing at the top. "I know you're dealing with a lot of grief and regrets, and it seems some days like the killing will never end no matter what we do. Our parents, us…we just keep going in circles…"
"And yet, here we are, at the end of one round of bloodshed and the start of another." Akira clenched at the railing. She didn't like being reminded of the pile of corpses in her past, her parents' past…and she didn't like thinking too hard about the fact that her father was in Touka's pile of corpses.
"Yeah. But look." The ghoul nodded down the stairs at a small mob of children laughing and screaming as they chased each other around the playground. "They're ghouls, refugee orphans from Aogiri."
That startled Akira. "Why did you bring me here?"
"We saved them. They're alive, because of you. Takizawa has been lurking around the café. He's alive because of you, too. I'm alive, Yoriko's alive, Ichika's alive…and I'm so grateful."
She fought down the sorrow that threatened to drag her under, blinked away the stinging in her eyes. "It cost more than I realized. More than I was willing to pay."
Touka nodded. "I know. I can't empathize with your position, but I can at least sympathize. I just wanted you to remember, because I know that sometimes it's hard to remember. You made a difference."
The ghoul tilted her head, looking down at the kids. "There's someone else who's alive because of you. You know, I don't think she's ever resented you for a moment. She really wants to thank you."
One of the children noticed the two women and yelled, "Hey, Touka! Are you going to play hide-and-seek with us?"
"In a minute!" She looked over at Akira and grinned. "C'mon. Let's go."
And with that, Akira was being dragged down the stairs, barely moving her feet fast enough to keep from falling. Yeah, it's freaking delightful to be alive.
The kids swarmed around Touka, desperate for her attention. They clamored about how she smelled like coffee, how she needed to read them another story soon, how excited they were to play with her.
Akira thought she recognized something in those orphans, in the way they were desperate for attention from anyone vaguely maternal. Which meant they quickly turned their curiosity her way.
"Hey, you guys should give my friend Akira a hug, too."
Oh no. She tensed up as several small ghouls accosted her.
Hinami had walked over to investigate what the commotion was. She'd been observing the feral children's playtime from a shaded bench on the other side of the playset.
The younger ghoul's face lit up when she caught sight of Touka, then grew serious as she spotted Akira.
"Hinami, meet Akira. Akira, meet Hinami."
The young girl started to say something, then closed her mouth and held out her arms.
Akira froze.
A single hard shove against her back sent her stumbling forward. Dammit, Touka!
The young ghoul caught her though, and suddenly she was being hugged by the last ghoul her father had ever hunted.
She felt emotions she couldn't name, a culmination of everything she had lost and everything she had gained, the consequences of all her choices leading her up to that moment…
All she could do was return Hinami's embrace and choke out dry sobs. She wished she could cry, but she felt so wrung out that not even tears were left.
When they got back to the house, Touka opened the door to reveal a chaotic kitchen including Haise…Kaneki…being ordered around by Yoriko. She was mixing up some broth in a large pot. "Where's my scallions?"
He was rapidly slicing a huge bunch of green onions on a cutting board at the kitchen table, in front of Ichika in her baby seat. She squealed in delight as he finished up and tossed the knife in the air, catching it with a flourish.
"Here you go," he said, transferring the scallion slices into a bowl and spinning around to pass them over to Yoriko.
"Babababa!" said Ichika as she kicked her feet in joy.
Yoriko frowned at the mountain of fresh-sliced greens in the bowl. "Oh, that's way too much. I guess we're making scallion pancakes today, too."
When they noticed the door open, they looked up. Kaneki broke the silence first. "Akira…"
Yoriko sent Touka a thumbs up. "He can cook!"
Touka shook her head in amusement at her husband getting completely sidetracked by Yoriko's orders. "I'll take Ichika. You two should go talk."
In the bedroom, Akira sat on her bed and Kaneki took the chair.
Kaneki closed his eyes. "Touka's told me some of what you've done for her. I just…I'm sorry." He paused, stuck on the verge of saying something else. Finally, he found the words. "And thank you."
Akira nodded but couldn't look at him.
"Akira…"
She shook her head. "How could you? Arima? I…I don't understand anything anymore."
"It…had to happen. I'm so sorry," he said, but didn't sound very confident in his own words. "Touka and Ichika needed to get out of Cochlea. He said he was going to finish with me, then kill them," he trailed off in a whisper.
"And I suppose that lit a fire in you." She frowned for a moment, remembering something Arima had once said to her about Haise needing something to fight for. Arima got his wish in the end.
"It did. I'd really accepted that I was going to die, but…then I realized I was giving up and there was too much I needed to live for."
"Well, I lost everything. I burned every bridge…I don't know how to move forward from here." She curled her arms around her knees and laid down her head.
"I don't know how exactly to do it either. You just do it. You just keep moving forward, one foot in front of the other. You're stubborn, you'll get it."
They were silent for a moment, each lost in their own thoughts of what might come next.
"Are you really going through with this? Calling yourself the One-Eyed King, going against the CCG?"
Kaneki finally spoke. "I am. We both know that only a sovereign authority can declare war. Otherwise…"
"Otherwise you're just a traitor riling up a bunch of murderous monsters," she finished. "It does grant legitimacy."
"It would be selfish of me to ask you to stay and serve the One-Eyed King, but I'll be sad to see you go."
She clenched her fists. Flashing on all the time she'd spent helping things get as far as they had, how enmeshed she'd become in the events that were now unfolding. Everything in her old life that she'd lost, and how she now had so little left to lose. And what little she had left to lose were the people who'd been caring for her while she was wounded and sick.
And so, yet again, she told Haise—Kaneki—words she knew she'd live to regret. "I have no interest in serving a king. But…a kingmaker…now there's a job I think I'd be good at."
Little bit of a breather chapter here before things pick up again!
Next week: Akira thought she escaped meetings when she left the CCG. She thought wrong.