"The Greatest Idea Ever"

By Quick-n-Popular

Disclaimer: "Naruto" and its characters are not my property.

A/N: Fair warning, there's vulgar language in this chapter, (and there will be more in the ones going forward), on the account of one character. I hope I don't need to change the rating for the entire story because of it, but we'll see. Also, big thanks to all my readers, especially those who give me some great constructive criticisms. I'm taking the things you've pointed out to heart and hopefully I can become a better writer as a result. Forewarning, this arc is going to be a three-parter afterall, So, I'm sorry for misleading you in the previousn chapter.

Now, on with the story.

Chapter Fourteen: The Search for The Legendary Sucker, Part Two

The three shinobi of Konoha walked out of the bar and into the street with a belligerent Tsunade leading them. Despite his earlier, antagonizing comment; Naruto was surprised this person was indeed Jiriaya's old teammate and that they had found her in such a drab and depressing state. Naruto's empathy meter could detect at least THAT much.

'She's got something going on. Still, why is that pervert so hellbent on making this woman the next Hokage?'

Tenten, who was walking beside him as they were brought out, whispered into his ear, "The smart thing to do would be to apologize, Naruto. Tsunade-sama IS one of the three famous Sannin and an incredible medic-nin. Think about it, she's probably someone that you shouldn't get on their bad side, right?"

As Tenten tried to advise him against fighting the idol of young Kunoichi, Naruto watched as Jiraiya was still making attempts to smooth things over but Tsunade just shoved him away before standing a ways away from the blond swordsman.

'She looks like she just wants to fight and doesn't care about the reason.' Naruto observed. Not knowing what started the infamous woman's increasing anger, but feeling impatient by her attitude thus far; he decided to go along with this.

He got into position while resting his hand on the grip of his sheathed sword, which earned him a look from Tsunade.

"Fair warning, kid. I'm not so good at holding back my punches. If you don't want your little toy breaking like a toothpick, better give it to the girl there to hold on to." She said, charitably.

Naruto nodded and undid his sash before handing his sword to Tenten who again recommended that he apologize to the Slug Sannin.

Naruto nodded to Tenten in acquiescence before turning to Tsunade and tried to make an apology.

"Look, I'm sorry I-"

"Now, here are the rules," Tsunade interrupted him. "I will fight you using only one finger; you can try anything you like. If you can land one hit on me, I'll listen to what you all have in mind. Actually, I'll throw in a little bonus." She held out a jade crystal that was attached to a necklace around her neck.

"Hime, are you certain?" Jiraiya asked, surprised.

Naruto was clueless about what was being offered here, "Oi, Ero-Sennin, what's so special about that necklace?"

Jiraiya answered, "It belonged to the first Hokage, runt. It's an heirloom that's worth a fortune."

Tsunade nodded, "It's been in the family for a long time. So, tell me kid, are you in?"

Naruto was amazed and soon a grin settled on his face, "Alright, let's do this. As someone who wants to become Hokage, this fight only seems natural."

Tenten rolled her eyes, with a bemused smile on her face, but soon noticed that Tsunade looked a little taken aback by Naruto's declaration.

"….Nawaki?" Tsunade muttered but soon shook her head to clear up the emotional anguish that threatened to engulf her. Dispelling those emotions, she then settled into a fighting stance. Reaching into her pocket and pulling out a coin, The Slug Sannin announced,"When this hits the ground, we'll begin."

Naruto steeled himself as he nodded.

The golden coin soared into the air and then came down in between them. As it hit the earth, Naruto cast his Shadow Clone Jutsu and had fifty clones swarm the legendary medic, while he, the original, stayed behind and observed. His previous fight with Orochimaru taught him that just because you think have the advantage in numbers, doesn't mean a thing to those who fight with overwhelming experience and the power to match.

Now, looking at what was happening in front of him, he felt chagrined.

'Ironically, this is almost a repeat of that time.' The Uzumaki thought to himself as he was bombarded with the memories of his clones being defeated by Tsunade's abnormal strength, one right after the other. 'Yeah, though unlike Orochimaru, this woman isn't seeking out my death. So that's some small comfort, at least. If she wins, I'll just be beaten bloody.'

Tsunade came strolling out of the cloud of smoke his dispelled clones produced and Naruto chose that moment to attack again. Reaching out with both of his arms, he channeled his chakra into them. Then he imagined, in his mind's eye, for the chakra to take the form of two strong, solid, chains with barbs at the end. Having brought them into existence, the young Uzumaki sent them shooting out towards Tsunade.

However, a little smirk appeared on the woman's face as she reached out and grabbed the chains, dodging the barbs, and then stomped her foot down on them, effectively pinning them to the ground and holding them there.

Jiraiya, Tenten, and of course, Naruto, looked shocked.

"Don't look so surprised, kid. Not only did my grandmother tell me about this little jutsu when I was a brat like you; but I have already watched you use it in your Exams."

'Well, shit.' Naruto smiled ruefully, 'There goes Plan B out the window.'He cut off his chakra, dispelling the chains, and then smirked. 'I've never been good for strategy anyway. So, let's get crazy instead.'

Breaking out into a mad dash, he succeeded in temporarily surprising the female Sannin before she aimed her finger at his incoming form. He then abruptly droped under her reach and then slid between her legs and came up right behind her. Rising up, he turned at the exact same time she did.

Forming a Ransengan, he aimed at her head but only managed to graze her cheek. At the exact moment, her finger flicked his arm causing a loud snapping sound and the breaking of his arm; the force of all this caused Naruto to collapse to the ground.

Naruto clutched his arm, grimacing at the pain while Tsunade touched the side of her face, that had been hit, with a dazed expression.

Tenten and Jiraiya then came up to them. Tenten crouched down and supported Naruto's good arm to help him rise to his feet. Jiraiya, looking over the broken arm of his student's with an evaluating eye, nodded in confirmation, before turning to his former teammate who had closed her eyes and began walking back to the bar.

"Hime-"

"Don't worry, pervert; the kid won fair and square. I'll listen to you all in the morning. I'll heal his arm then, too." Tsunade waived to them over her shoulder as she went back in.

Jiraiya exhaled deeply, releasing all the tension he had built up from watching the fight; he then turned to the two Genin behind him.

"She'll heal me TOMORROW?" Naruto asked incredulously.

The Toad Sannin shrugged, "She's a sore loser, as you can see." He then went quiet and looked around the area before he sighed, "Listen, you just got lucky here, Naruto. Don't let this go to your head."

Naruto, wisely, decided not to argue. Trying, instead, to ignore the pain in his broken arm.

'I thought as much.' Tenten thought to herself. 'Though, I got to say, Naruto's really getting craftier in his counter attacks.' The bun-haired weapons specialist really was happy on how much he was improving.

Jiriaya changed topics, "Now, It seems we're not the only ones with our eyes on bringing in Tsunade." Seeing the surprise on the two teenagers' faces, he nodded in confirmation, "That's right. So, I want to give you two something to use just in case; even though you're not my student, Tenten."

Tenten's eyes widened, "I'm going to learn something from one of the Sannin...Is this actually happening?"

Naruto scoffed, "Don't get TOO excited. You do know who it is that's teaching you, right? He might ask for something pervy in return."

"Want me to break the other arm, brat?" Jiraiya groused and then addressed both of them, "I'm serious here. I don't want either of you killed or made a hostage by the man we're up against. There's too much at stake."

Naruto and Tenten went stone-still by that statement. Neither of them had anymore objections.

Seeing that he had their attention and that they seriously absorbed what he had said, Jiraiya then pulled out some paper from his pocket, "Now, let me teach you two about elemental affinities…."

In the following morning, midst the crowded marketplace, a lone figure dressed in a tunic to disguise themselves and to remain inconspicuous, observed from a distance their targets. Two Konoha Genin: one a blond male teen, his arm in a sling, was being fed a breakfast meal that required two arms by the other target, a female teen with her hair tied into twin buns. Seeing the overly friendly and potentially intimate scene, made the figure scowl in disgust.

'That piss-head and his mousy little cunt better enjoy their time while they can, not that I fucking care; they're going to be dead either way.'

The figure then turned around and made their way into the crowded road, disappearing.

At the stand, Tenten paused while she helped cut up and feed Naruto the last part of his meal. Turning to look behind them into the mass of the morning crowd, wondering why she felt such an intense cold feeling against her spine.

'I'm not superstitious but my intuition tells me somethings wrong here.' She thought to herself, 'Circumstances as they are, I'd be wrong to NOT be paranoid especially after what Jiraiya-sama explained to us last night about who else is after Tsunade-sama.' Never in her wildest dreams would Tenten dream, much less contemplate, that she would be involved in a scenario in which all three Sannin were involved in an altercation with each other. Or was it two against one?

'Tsunade-sama still hasn't made her intentions known yet, and THAT'S the problem as far as Jiriaya-sama and Konoha are concerned.'

Turning to the boy next to her, she noticed that Naruto seemed to be deep into thought like she was.

"What's on your mind?" She asked him.

"This mission. That bastard, Orochimaru, seems to be after everything. First Sasuke-teme, then….Jiji, and now this lady."

Tenten noticed the brief pained expression on his face at the thought of the Sandaime before he tried to mask it away again. She placed her hand on his in comfort.

Naruto closed his eyes and he sighed, finishing his thought, "The guy is just too damn greedy and, unquestionably, evil." He then went quiet.

They sat in silence before Tenten nodded and said, resolutely, "I agree. So, let's make sure that he doesn't take anyone else away. Let's get Tsunade-sama on OUR side and beat the bastard."

Meanwhile, at their hotel, Jiraiya came stumbling out of the building looking pale and sick.

'Damn it, Tsunade, what the hell are you thinking!'

Before going to bed, the Icha Icha author went to have a drink with his former teammate and also to make another effort to change her mind about helping their traitorous other teammate. Jiraiya should have been on guard. This wasn't the first time that the Senju woman had slipped something into his drink in order to incapacitate him or knock him out while she got away.

Now poisoned, and the healer not in her room, he knew she most likely was trying to get him to not interfere when she went to meet with Orochimaru.

'Damn her, really.' He thought, exasperatedly.

"Jiraiya-sama!" A voice called out.

At first, Jiriaya thought it had been the brat or his girl but quickly realized it was neither due to the respectful title and the fact that the voice was different. Soon a tall brunette came running up to him, she immediately reached into her gi and retrieved a vial from within.

"Shizune...Aren't you a gift from heaven." He gasped, sweat beading down his brow.

Shizune seemed to know what he was given by her Master, seeing as she had something on hand already. She poured the contents of the vial into his mouth and down his throat. Luckily, the results were instantaneous and color returned to his face as well as most of his strength.

Getting back up on to his feet, he swayed a bit before getting his bearings.

"Thanks a lot, Shizune. Tell me, do you know where Tsunade went?"

Shizune nodded, "Orochimaru wanted her to meet him out in the plains on the outskirts of town."

Jiraiya breathed out in relief at now knowing where to find them.

Shizune got to her feet and put a hand on his arm, "Let's go there quickly, Jiraiya-sama, I'm afraid of what Master might try to do."

Jiraiya nodded but then he remembered Naruto and Tenten and knew they would go looking for him soon. Having two Genin as backup would be foolhardy considering what Orochimaru might do to them to force his and Tsunade's hand.

'They're not going to like it. But I did explain to them the dangers last night, anyway.'

"I'll go to where she is quickly, but Shizune can you go find the Genin who came with me and tell them to wait for further orders? They're a blond teen male and a brunette teen girl with her hair tied into twin buns."

Shizune looked a bit reluctant but she nodded, "Okay, but please hurry, Jiraiya-sama."

"E-Excuse me…" A small voice called out.

Naruto and Tenten were just about to leave the stand and join back up with Jiraiya at the hotel, when a little girl in drab clothing came up to them and hesitantly tugged on the back of Tenten's shirt to get her attention.

Turning around and seeing who was pulling on her shirt, Tenten said, "Yes?" Naruto adjusted his sling while he also looked at the girl curiously.

The girl paused as if she was trying to remember something and then looked at both of them. "Ah, a Mister Jiraiya w-wants you to meet with him in the woods next to the town. I-I was told to tell you."

Naruto groaned, "That Shameless Pervert sent a kid to tell us where to meet him? Are you kidding me?"

Tenten shrugged, "It could be that Tsunade asked him to contact us." She turned back to the girl, "Was there a woman with the man who told you to tell us this?"

The girl shook her head, "No...an older girl told me."

"Older girl?" Naruto asked.

Tenten thought for a moment, "Jiraiya-sama said that Tsunade-sama was traveling with her student...Shizune, I think he said her name was. It's most likely her who's giving us the message."

Naruto nodded and then dug his free hand into his pocket and took out a ryo note and paid the little girl for the message she gave them.

The girl smiled brightly, "Th-Thank you, mister!" Taking the money in her tiny little hand she bowed before running out into the crowded street.

The two Konoha teens soon left the area and took their time before arriving to the dense forest that the girl had said Jiraiya and Tsunade wanted them to go to.

However, upon arriving they didn't see any trace of either Sannin.

"Oi, Ero-Sennin! Where are you!" Naruto called out into the wooded area.

The two Genin froze when they heard some hauntingly beautiful flute music echoing all around them.

Suddenly, Tenten felt her arm becoming incredibly hot and then, to her horror, she watched as the skin of her arm melt off of the bone of her arm. Her first instinct is to scream and panic. Fortunately, her training kicked in and she regained her senses by taking out a senbon needle and painfully puncture the skin of her arm, causing reality to come back around her.

'A Genjutsu...a powerful one, too.' She turns to Naruto to see he was still struggling in the illusion he was put under. Using the same senbon, Tenten jabs the blond causing him to come back to his senses in a jolt.

As if waiting for them to emerge from their spell, three large ogres rose from the ground and their appearance was unsettling. Blind folded, their mouths stitched shut, and wielding large clubs and maces; they looked like some ancient artists' image of some kind of hellish creation.

As Naruto and Tenten watched them wearily, anticipating them to come to life, Tenten brought out another senbon needle and passed it to Naruto.

"We're dealing with some kind of powerful Genjutu user. Take this; use it to help you if they cast it again." She said in a quiet voice, still not taking her eyes off of these summoned creatures.

Naruto nodded as he drew his sword with his remaining arm and then stiffened when he heard the mysterious flute music again. Then, the ogres started to stir.

Close, but not in sight; Tayuya was playing her flute. The redhead was looking like the very picture of hostile serenity.

At the same time the two Genin were being attacked, Tsunade of the Sannin was walking across the plains to meet with her former teammate. Her face was an unreadable mask and her body language conveyed the same message.

Upon arriving at the destination, a mound of dirt rose from the earth taking human shape and then changed to the form of the Snake Sannin, Orochimaru.

"Well, well. Such a nice day, isn't it, Tsunade?" Orochimaru smiled pleasently.

Tsunade's expression was stony.

Orochimaru grinned, "I am a busy man and I have come for your answer. Are you ready to be reunited with your dear little brother and great one true love?" His tone, while pleasant was oily as a tar pit to the Slug Sannin's ears.

"I've decided that I would never help you." She said, icily. "Instead, I would do what Sensei couldn't."

Orochimaru chuckled, "Oh? And What might you do?"

Tsunade cracked her knuckles and made a slow stride towards him, "Erase you from existence."

To be continued…

A/N III: Thank you for reading. I'll work diligently on the next chapter and hopefully post it in a sort amount of time. Please review if you can. Thank you.

Q-n-P