Sun sat on the edge of the porch, hugging his filthy knees as he slouched forward and watched the car take off down the dirt road. Small plumes of dust rose from beneath the tires, obscuring his view of a former friend in the back seat and the unfamiliar man and woman up front. Within seconds, the dust and motion of the car stole the last fleeting glance of the silhouettes from him, and soon after, the car itself had become a small blue dot on the horizon, lost in his view of the city in the distance. Sun sniffed and wrinkled his nose as he stood, his line of sight barely above the worn-down railing around the porch.
"…there goes another one," he admitted to himself in a defeated tone. Sun sniffed again, and pulled at the sleeve of his torn tee shirt to bring it close enough to wipe at his eyes. A large hand came to rest upon his shoulder, and he jumped at the sensation.
"Are you alright, little one?" Sun looked up at the familiar adult- a large, tanned woman in a deep blue dress and a straw hat was staring down at him, concerned. He breathed out dramatically, and pushed her hand off his shoulder with his own.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm cool. I'm… used to it," he said, sounding bitter. Sun frowned, and cast his eyes down to the uneven wooden surface of the porch. He moved his right foot backward and began to drive the toe of his worn sneaker against a nail sticking up from the boards to occupy himself.
"Sunny, that isn't the right attitude to have. One day, it'll be you in the back seat of a car, leaving me and all of the other children beh-"
"You always say that, Mrs. H!" Sun interrupted, his face scrunched up in a mask of anger. "Every single time a kid gets taken to a new home, you tell me I'm next. You say that someone's gonna come and want me. No one wants me!" He punctuated the statement by kicking the bent nail as hard as he could, and hissing as he felt the metal impact his foot with a painful twinge.
"You stop that right now," the much taller woman commanded as she bent down to place both of her hands on Sun's shoulders. "Did you hurt yourself?"
"No!" Sun lied as he tried and failed to fight back streams of tears. His toes throbbed with pain, and he mentally cursed himself for his outburst as his caretaker brought gentle fingers up under his chin. He whipped his head to the side to avoid her touch, and balled his fists.
"Sun, I don't think you're being honest with me."
"And I don't think you're being honest with me!" he countered as he turned his head back to face her. Sun bared his teeth and stomped hard on the surface of the porch. "It's because of my tail, isn't it? All of the kids with animal stuff are still here! In the past four years, one got taken to a new home!"
"No, child, it isn't…"
"It is!" Sun insisted. "They hate me! Every time a mom and dad come walk through, they ignore us. They go right for the normal kids, and we're all left begging and hoping for something that just isn't gonna happen."
"Sunny, I'm sorry, but some people just don't understand…"
"I don't care! It's not fair!" he yelled. "It isn't fair…" he repeated with a small whimper as hot tears began to stream down his cheeks.
The woman started to lightly rub his shoulders as he sobbed, the collar of his shirt darkening as the tears made their way into the fabric. "No, Sunny. It isn't…"
"So fix it!" he pleaded in a squeaky voice as his chest and shoulders heaved. "Please fix it…"
Sun closed his eyes as the adult sank to her knees, and pulled him into a tight hug. "You know I would if I could. I promise you, one day, you'll get out of here. Someone is going to see you for who you really are, Sun."
"Do you really promise?" Sun asked as he returned the hug. He rested his head upon her shoulder as he tried to reach his skinny, frail arms around her waist, only to find that they weren't quite long enough to manage the task.
"I do," she said with a nod.
Sun glowered as he looked out the window once again. Most of the other children were playing with a ball outside in the grass, laughing and screaming as they kicked the object back and forth into makeshift goals. He shook his head as he watched from atop the bed, thinking to himself how pointless it all was. Besides, he wouldn't have been allowed to play with them, even if he'd wanted to- they all knew that he was too old, and too skilled for any of the smaller children to enjoy his company in games like that anymore. They always complained that it wasn't fair.
A dull thud rang out in the empty room as Sun punched the bedpost. The wooden spire rattled against his fist, and he shook out his hand as he watched the accent vibrate momentarily before falling still once again. He looked around at the other empty beds, none of which he could fit in anymore, before pushing himself off the mattress and beginning to walk.
Sun spared one more glance out the window, and watched as one of his younger friends managed to score a goal. He shook his head again and drew the curtains, muttering curses to himself as he turned to put the glass behind himself. With an annoyed growl, he walked toward a small plastic table, and looked over the various papercraft projects that his smaller companions had been working on. A blue origami swan rested on the table, next to a shoddily made paper recreation of the foster home that could barely stand on its own. He considered ripping them both apart in a momentary pulse of rage, but thought better of it as he found what he was looking for.
A long pair of scissors with red plastic handles rested atop a few sheets of paper, half-covered with glue. Sun picked up the tool and turned it over several times, inspecting the edges of the blades. He took a deep breath, and began to walk to the attached bathroom.
Sun flicked the lights on as he entered, and looked himself over in the mirror by the dim light of the one functioning bulb that remained between the other two above the sink. He looked over his shirtless chest, and the abs that had started to bulge out thanks to his efforts at self-improvement. His arms were large and bulky with muscle, and he had outpaced even the few older boys at the home in physique. Sun hissed in anger as he remembered that none of it had done him any good.
No matter how attractive he tried to make himself, he was still there.
Sun grumbled to himself and turned to close the door, before dropping his frayed denim shorts to the floor. He slid his boxers down to his ankles and kicked them away before hopping up onto the counter and turning sideways, to give himself a view of his backside. A bead of sweat rolled down the flesh of his back from his hairline, and he shivered at the sensation of the sudden cool liquid trailing down toward his rear. He sucked in a deep breath, and wrapped his right arm around his waist to level the blades of the scissors at the base of his tail.
"Okay… just a little bit of pain, and I'll be normal," he said to himself as he closed his eyes. "It'll hurt for like an hour, at most. I-it can't hurt forever," he reasoned in a shaky voice. As he opened his eyes and looked into the glass, he found his hand trembling wildly as he tried his best to guide the open metal points around his fuzzy yellow tail. Sun rocked slightly on the counter as the cool steel pressed up against the flesh of his lower back, and he swallowed hard.
The scissors seemed to move of their own accord as he pushed the vertex of the blades up against the short fur at the base of his tail, and felt the icy sensation creep into the flesh beneath. Sun licked his lips and found the surfaces very dry as he took several deep breaths, before pulling his arm away and setting the scissors onto the counter. He exhaled sharply and shook out his hands as more sweat started to work its way downward to his neck.
"Come on, it's gonna be worth it. This has to do it," he whispered. Sun looked around the room and grabbed a dish towel from a free-standing rack on the counter. He rolled it into a long cylinder, and stuffed the fabric into his mouth before biting down. Sun drew in several breaths from his nose and grabbed the scissors again before bringing them around to the base of his tail. Before he could lose his nerve, he began to press the handles together, and his eyes widened as he felt the metal tear into the sensitive limb.
Sun made a pained noise and screamed into the towel as he stopped cutting, his hand shaking as he felt warm blood flow from his tail and begin to coat his hand. He slammed his eyes shut and forced himself to press the handles closer together as dots of color swam through his otherwise darkened vision. Though his mind screamed for him to stop, he willed himself to cut more, and the urge to vomit became overwhelming as he made it near the halfway point.
All at once, the combination of nausea, pain, and panic became too much, and Sun spit out the rolled-up towel. He screamed in anguish and threw the scissors as hard as he could into the wall as he scrambled backward and tumbled from the countertop. Sun impacted the floor hard, smearing blood along the tile floor as he scrambled toward the shower. He could feel the base of his tail bending unnaturally as he moved, and watched in horror as he left a long trail of deep crimson from the sink all the way to the shower door. He clawed at the metal bar on the outside of the glass and pulled himself up, before slipping inside.
Sun slammed the glass closed and brought his hands around to his tail. Simply touching the appendage caused pain to shoot up through his spine, and he whimpered aloud as he felt blood oozing from the half-finished cut.
"Shit! Shit!" he cursed as he pressed the partially-severed base of the tail back into the space above his rear. He held the tail as close to himself as he could while he turned on the water to attempt to chase away the streaming red liquid pooling on the white floor of the shower. Sun began to cry as he stepped repeatedly to try to avoid the rivers of blood with little success, while a knock came at the bathroom door.
"Sunny?" came the call through the wood. "What's all that noise?"
Sun rested his forehead against the wall of the shower, and faced himself away from the door as his entire body quaked with sobs. He opened his mouth to reply, but found only shuddering breaths and a throaty squeak. Sun cleared his throat and felt his entire neck fill with the threat of hot, rushing sickness as he began to yell.
"H-help! I… I need help!"
The bathroom door flew open as the matron stepped into the bathroom, only to immediately step back as she caught sight of the large bloodstains covering the floor. She shrieked in terror, and her hands flew up to cover her mouth as she found Sun cowering behind the glass of the shower door.
"Gods! What did you do!?" Mrs. H rushed over and threw back the shower door. Sun refused to look up at her as he pressed into the wall, trying his best to disappear. "What did you do!?"
Sun sat on the edge of the porch, one leg dangling over the side and nearly touching the grass below. He kept the other curled beneath himself as he looked out over the road with a smile, and waved enthusiastically as he watched another car disappear from the driveway of the foster home.
"You know, only a few years ago, you would've had a fit and stormed up to your room, Sunny," came a familiar voice from the doorway of the house. Sun rolled his eyes and stood into a stretch, letting his tee shirt rise to reveal his toned abs in the morning sunlight. He towered over the freshly-painted railing around the perimeter of the porch, and towered over the speaker, as well.
"Yeah, yeah. Things change, Mrs. H," Sun said with a smile as he stooped to pick up the paint can and brush.
"They certainly do. That being said, I still believe you're going to get out of here, and soon. I'm… sorry it's taken so long," she apologized as she approached Sun. She wore a black dress and a familiar straw hat, along with a pair of sunglasses. Sun merely shrugged.
"Honestly? I'm just happy that these kids are getting what they need. I get the feeling my ship has sailed, but… you need help around here, don't you? Maybe it's better that I stay."
"Don't say that. You deserve a family. I can't think of a single child who deserves love more than you do, Sunny," Mrs. H said with a smile.
"Well hey, we don't always get what we deserve. That's just life, right?" Sun asked plainly. Mrs. H only nodded, and sighed.
"When did you get so mature?" she replied as she moved to sit on a stool and look out over the grounds.
"It took some doing," Sun said. "Outside walls are gonna be white, right?"
"Yes. White. Why don't you go and get some rest, before starting to paint? You already did the entire railing just today. At the very least, go and get some of the young ones to help you."
Sun shrugged, and dipped the brush into the paint can. "…nah. Helping out is what I'm good at, right? Let the little guys play. Seeing them happy makes me happy, and working keeps my mind off other things. Idle hands, and all that," Sun said with a grin.
Mrs. H shook her head as she looked over her shoulder and watched Sun begin to paint the wall.
"Never change, Sunny. Never change…"
Blake continued to stare at the floor as Sun finished his story. Her entire body felt numb with guilt, and she couldn't recall another time where she had felt so horrible for someone else. With a deep breath, she looked up at Sun, only to find him hunched over with his face in his hands. His arms and chest had been fully cleaned of glass and bandaged as he had talked, but somehow, he looked worse than when Blake had started.
"…and I guess… I guess I never did change, huh?"
Sun tensed as he felt Blake's hand touch his shoulder while her boots clicked upon the floor of the kitchen. After making her way behind him, she silently trailed her hand downward to the small of his back, and earned a shiver for her efforts.
"Blake?" he asked in a defeated voice.
"…stay still," Blake told him softly. Sun didn't argue as Blake trailed her hand into the back of his shorts, and down inside of his boxers. He turned his head slightly, but remained silent as she gently ran her fingers along the base of his tail.
There, on the right side of the appendage, was an ugly bulge of scar tissue beneath the sunny, yellow fur. Blake ran the hardened flesh between her fingers and rubbed her thumb over the lump. Her heart began to feel heavier as she moved her hand up and to the small of his back once again, and she wrapped him in a silent, tight embrace from behind.
"Blake, I'm sorry. I just didn't want to upset you," Sun said as he looked back at her.
"…the only thing upsetting me right now is that we've spent so much time together, and I didn't know. I had no idea that you had these feelings. Let me help you. Please," she begged.
Slowly, Sun used his hands to shift her grip enough to allow him to turn on the stool. He extended his arms and returned the embrace as he rested his chin on her shoulder. "I don't know if you can."
"I want to try, at least," Blake sniffed. "And you're wrong. You did change. Who you are now, and who you were when you left… that's who you needed to become. I think… I think that's what she meant."
"I know. It still doesn't feel great to think about," Sun admitted.
"Nothing feels great right now… but we can work to fix that." Blake let her arms fall as she trailed her right hand down to cup Sun's left.
"Is he alright?" Kali's voice came from the doorway to the kitchen, and Blake turned her head to face her.
"Yeah, Mom. He's fine," Blake replied. She lifted Sun's hand to her lips and gave it a peck, before leaning in to whisper. "Meet me upstairs. I'm going to check in with Mom, and then… you and I are going to talk."
"…okay," Sun said as he stood from the stool. He gave Blake a final hug and disappeared from the room. Blake watched him go, before turning to face her mother and crossing her arms.
"…I'll make this quick, honey. He needs you," Kali stated plainly.
"I know. How much did you hear?" Blake asked as her ears began to droop.
"Nothing. I just came in," Kali said as she moved to sit upon the stool. She raised a hand to brush at the moisture gathering under Blake's eyes, and smirked. "But I can see that he's hurting horribly, inside, and it's tearing you apart because you're madly in love with him. It's written all over your face."
For once, Blake felt no need to protest. "…yeah. Maybe I am."
Author's Note:
I posted this tonight instead of tomorrow morning, because my laptop is starting to have issues, and I'm somewhat worried that it may not cooperate if I wait until tomorrow.
A few quick hits:
·The full details of Kali's semblance are basically using the incense burner to command focal points of energy, which the head detonates. If you've ever played Dead Space, picture the Force Gun. That's more or less the result- a giant pulse of pressure that wrecks whatever happens to be in the area.
·Going beyond volume 5: Let's just say that I have a feeling that we may not reach the end by Chapter 40. Shocking, I know.
·It's good to know that the growth of both Sun and Blake as characters is getting through, because it is definitely a slow burn. If Blake is 19 in Volume 6, I'd say she's 18 here, and Sun is 19 by a few months. They're both in the middle of their confusing later teenage years, and trying to figure themselves and each other out. Expect some progress in their relationship next chapter… and maybe progress in another relationship, as well.
-Finally, if my laptop does explode, literally or figuratively, Chapter 24 is already written and waiting in the doc manager, so it will be on time. I'll do my best to keep to the schedule beyond that, and figure something out if this thing finally does die.
Next update on Wednesday, the 13th.
-RD