Sun slipped a hand up to the back of Blake's head, and pulled her face into his shoulder.
"You don't have to say anything, if you don't want to. I'm here."
A long silence ruled the room, before Blake began to sniffle.
"I don't know what I'm going to do when I see him, Sun," Blake whispered. "I might cry, I might scream... I can't have a breakdown right now. If Ilia comes out of the bathroom and sees me looking like a mess, it's going to be bad for all three of us. I know she's trying, and I know you're trying, and… I'm trying, too. I have to try to hold it together."
"You really don't," Sun protested as she squeezed her tighter. "If Ilia really cares, she'll join in and comfort you."
"I don't want Ilia to comfort me, right now. I want you, Sun. No one else… but that can't happen tonight, and by tomorrow, I should be feeling okay again. I'll be back in control, and I won't let this rule me," Blake said as she shifted to give him a serious look. "But like I said, I don't know what I'm going to do when I see him. I mean that literally."
Sun shifted uncomfortably as he mulled over the statement. "Are you… really going to feel okay, in the morning? Just like that? Blake, you've been acting super weird, tonight. Not just to me, but to Ilia, too. It's l-"
"It's fine," Blake insisted. "I'm fine! Stop asking that! I just need to figure out what I'm going to do when we run into him."
Sun slowly nodded, and entwined his fingers with her. "You do what you need to, in that moment. If you jump in and fight, I'll help. If you hang back and watch, I'll join you. And if you feel the need to run… run. Just… come back to me, when it's safe? Promise me that," Sun finished.
Blake's cheeks drained of color and her ears drooped. "And if I run, what are you going to do while I'm gone?" she asked. The distressed look on her face told Sun that she already knew the answer, and likely wasn't happy about it.
"…I'll fight for you."
"I can't risk that," Blake protested as she shook her head. "I can't risk losing you. You're everything to me."
"And I feel the same way, so we're at a stalemate. Just… trust me, alright? If Adam and I go head to head, I have a plan. I… think it'll work," Sun said as Blake gave him an exasperated look.
"You think it'll work? Sun, what are you talking about?" Blake said in a strained voice. "He'll kill you if you give him a single opening! What's this stupid plan you're cooking up? This isn't a game, or a time for hypotheticals."
"Don't worry about it," Sun said with a hint of offense as he gave her hand a squeeze. "It's a… last resort sort of thing, and hopefully it won't come to that. I might be able to talk him down, or at least buy you time, and then escape, myself. Focus on doing what you need to do, and let me be your knight. Have I let you down, yet?"
Blake made a frustrated noise and dug her nails into Sun's palm. He hissed in discomfort as she shot him an annoyed glare.
"No," Blake admitted. "Even so, I don't like this. I thought we weren't keeping secrets, or being evasive anymore."
"Then why are you pushing me away when I'm just trying to find out what's up with you tonight?" Sun retorted in a soft, careful tone. "I'm asking because I care, Blake. Not to judge. So, what's going on? Really?"
Sun instinctively reached for Blake's hand as she slipped it from his grasp, and felt a rush of ice shoot through his veins as she slapped the hand away to stand and cross her arms. Blake narrowed her eyes to dangerous slits as she spoke slowly, her voice laced with venom.
"Back off."
The temperature of the air around Sun seemed to plummet as time slowed to a crawl in the silent, perilous moment that he took to consider his options. Sun stood up next to Blake and looked down at her with the most genuine expression of caring he could manage as he spoke.
"…no. Our relationship works because we're there for each other when hard times hit, whether or not the other knows we need it at the time. I'm not budging. You're clearly not okay!" Sun insisted.
"Not this time!" Blake yelled as she took a step back and thrust her arms down to her sides. "I want to sort this out for myself, before I lay it all out for you!"
"And what happened the last time you decided to live in your head for a while, Blake?" Sun asked while pointing to the side of his forehead. "You split from your team, they ended up worried sick, and you were an absolute mess for weeks! We can't let that happen again, especially now!"
"All I'm asking for is tonight!" Blake said as she glowered up at him and moved to scoop up her previously shed clothing. "Just let me figure this out on my own, and then we can talk!"
Sun shook his head and moved slightly toward the door to block Blake as she began to walk. "What if 'just tonight' turns into another day? And then another? We don't know when Adam's going to be here, and we need to sort this out now."
"What don't you get, Sun?" Blake fumed as she watched him block her escape route. "I don't want to do this in front of Ilia! Besides, you think you could just make everything I'm feeling go away, magically? I've been dealing with this for years."
"And yet you're still this upset just from the thought of him!" Sun said with exasperation as he threw his hands out to the sides. "And also- ouch. You've yet to let me try. I thought I was making you feel better," he added with a disappointed look.
Blake's eyes began to well up as she locked them on the sliding door behind Sun. "…don't play this game with me. You know how much you mean to me, but I need time. I don't care if we don't have it- if I don't get it, it's going to be bad. For both of us."
Sun inhaled sharply through his nose. "Please don't say that."
"Move!" Blake demanded in return. Sun took one look at her tear-stained cheeks before stepping aside and looking away as she made her way through the door. The fabric of his former shirt brushed against his shoulder as she slipped by, and Sun fought back the urge to reach out and catch her. Slowly, he brought his eyes up to meet Ilia's as she stared at him from the bathroom doorway.
"…what the hell just happened?"
Blake stood on the rooftop of the Notched Blade with her arms folded atop the railing, staring out over the village of Kuo Kuana as the wind gently rustled her hair. The cool air and gently falling rain had only served to accentuate the tears on her cheeks as she looked out at the soft lights coming from within the homes, and she let out a sorrowful sigh as her eyes drifted slowly to the Belladonna mansion and its mostly darkened windows. Slowly, she leaned down to rest her chin atop her arms, and frowned softly into the darkness.
Rushing wind tossed her hair once again, and Blake's ears flicked uncontrollably as the harsh sound and water droplets brought her physical discomfort to match her feelings. After a while of staring in silence, she straightened herself up and popped the collar of Sun's shirt to give it a soft sniff.
"…he really is trying his best, you know."
Blake's eyes widened as she whirled and aimed a punch at the speaker, only to find a drenched Ilia standing close with her hand outstretched and aimed at her shoulder. The careening fist stopped just short of Ilia's face, and Ilia cowered instinctively as she drew her hands back and used them both to shield herself.
"Blake! It's me! It's just me!"
Blake bared her teeth and heaved several angry breaths as she pulled her fist back, but kept it raised.
"Leave."
Ilia stood straight as she dropped her hands to her sides, and took a hesitant step forward. "No. You're going to have to hit me," she said as she took another step.
The punch connected square on Ilia's jaw and she reeled backward, clasping her hand to her cheek as she regained her balance. Blake's furious expression quickly faded to one of guilt as her ears wilted, and she unballed her fist into a shaky, loose hand.
"Ilia, I…"
Ilia raised her hand for silence as she took a few deep breaths and stood straight, looking displeased and sporting a red mark on her jawline. "I mean, I did ask for it. I'm not leaving, and you can't run from me."
"I can, and I will. Did Sun send you?" Blake asked as she folded her arms.
"No, actually. He wanted to come running after you, but I stopped him. He's in tears, by the way, and completely convinced that he made a huge mistake by letting you leave the house. You left him feeling like total shit, and what you said wasn't fair. It almost sounded like you were breaking it off with him," Ilia chided as she mirrored Blake's pose.
"What? No!" Blake replied in shock. "I wouldn't… why would he…"
"It's going to be bad for both of us?" Ilia interrupted. "Really? You didn't think about how that sounds to a guy who's trying to talk you down from acting insane? He adores you, Blake."
Blake said nothing as Ilia huffed, and cast her eyes down to the roof below them to watch the raindrops dance against the concrete.
"…and so do I. Otherwise, I wouldn't have… been so angry, and done what I did. Sun told me you ran out on your team at Beacon, the last time things got rough with Adam. We're your team, now. Call me a bitch and hit me all you want, but I'm not letting this happen again. Not to my best friend."
"Ilia, we haven't been 'best friends' in years," Blake began, only to be cut off once again.
"Oh yeah? Maybe not from your perspective, but on nights when I wasn't pissed beyond all reason at you, I laid awake thinking about the old times, when we were young. We used to do each other's makeup, braid hair, and talk about boys and dumb shit." Ilia paused. "Well, you talked about boys, while I pretended to care."
Blake couldn't fight down the ghost of a smirk that crept onto her features as she met Ilia's eyes, her ears still flat. "…you were really good at that. I had no idea."
"What, that I'm gay, or that I was in love with you?" Ilia asked as she rolled her eyes.
"Both. Not for a long time, on either of them. I guess…"
"You were too distracted by kid stuff, and then Adam to really notice," Ilia finished for her.
Blake visibly winced at the name, and nodded. "…yes."
"And you know what? I accepted that, because you were my best friend. Still are, to be honest. I didn't exactly get… close with people in the Fang." Ilia dropped her arms and then held them out to the sides as she approached and offered a hug. Blake cast her eyes to the sky and huffed, before accepting the embrace. "That's why I'm here. I can still read you well, and I can tell that Sun is what you need… as much as I wish it could be me, instead."
Blake tightened her grip around Ilia, and groaned. "I'm sorry, alright? I just… never felt the same way. Not romantically."
"Yeah, I got that part," Ilia replied in a deadpan as she clapped Blake on the back. "I'm over it. Mostly."
"Mostly?" Blake asked as she pulled back and kept her hands on Ilia's waist.
"…well, if you dropped Sun for some reason, I'd probably try to jump you. I'm not going to pretend you didn't get hotter, or that I stopped feeling what I feel," Ilia admitted. Blake rolled her eyes, and sighed.
"At least you're honest about your feelings, I guess. I'll… go back to Sun, and apologize for putting him in an awkward spot. I know it was shitty of me, but I panicked. I'm not in a good place, Ilia… but thanks. I'm… glad you came," Blake said as she dropped her hands and turned toward the staircase. She tensed as she felt a gloved hand grip her slick wrist.
"No," Ilia replied as she tightened her grip. "You're not going anywhere, until we get to the bottom of this. It's just going to keep happening again, until you confront whatever demons you're dealing with and work up the courage to discuss it with Sun. Even if you can't do that tonight, or tomorrow, or even the next day, you need to get it out in the open and start taking steps. He's right, you know- all three of us have to be at the top of our game when Adam comes calling, and right now, the two of you are both in a rut. That ends now, because this is what best friends do."
Blake turned to face Ilia once again, and frowned. "Ilia, this is exactly why I left Sun ba-"
"I don't care," Ilia interrupted. "If we can't be lovers, we can be sisters, and we used to be close enough to share everything. Who do you think I'm going to snitch to? Why would I turn my back on you, after I fought so hard just to get you to look at me again? I want to know what's going on, Blake. I want to know why you're acting so… weird."
"Because I'm scared, Ilia," Blake offered as she walked to a nearby table and took cover from the rain beneath the umbrella speared through the center. She slipped into a seat and propped her elbows upon the surface of the table, before resting her head in her hands. Ilia joined her and sat with her legs crossed and arms folded.
"…I don't usually start flashing people when I'm scared," Ilia replied.
"Okay, first of all, that was for Sun, and Sun alone, and secondly…"
"Secondly, that was a weird choice, considering he told me that you practically sprinted home and begged him to comfort you after you heard Adam was coming. If he was so horrible, how were you immediately down to start a strip show when the opportunity arose? You're not fooling us. Something's off, and you're going to tell me what, before we leave. This all seems like some kind of buildup to an explosion we can't afford, whether it's running, lashing out, or something else entirely."
Blake simply stared down at the white plastic of the table, unblinking as she took a moment to sort out her thoughts.
"…what has Adam told you about our relationship?"
Ilia wrinkled her nose as she tried her best to recall. "It… well, most of it isn't exactly nice. He generally just acts spiteful, says things used to be perfect, and then you 'lost your mind'. Once, though, he drank a little too much, and let a few things slip."
"Things like what?" Blake asked immediately as she looked upward to meet Ilia's eyes. Ilia took note of the obvious worry within them, and spoke softly and carefully.
"…he said that you were the only one capable of calming him down when he was enraged, a-"
"How?" Blake cut in.
"How? He… never said how. Just that you did. I do know that Cinnamon's stopped trying, and just lets him have his little fits once he gets going. I don't know what the difference is… between…" Ilia trailed off suddenly, and her heart sank as she connected the dots. "Blake…"
"Figured it out that fast, huh?" Blake spat as she looked back down at the table.
"I mean, considering how you acted earlier tonight…"
"I'm not proud of it, alright? And don't you dare judge me," Blake fumed. "You don't know what it was like, being trapped in a room with him, alone, when something went wrong. If something made Adam angry, he was terrifying… and when I finally figured out what got him to stop, I capitalized on it."
Ilia slowly slid her hand across the table, and offered it to Blake. "I wouldn't judge you over that. You're right, I don't know… and I honestly don't want to. But that's… horrible."
"It's my own fault," Blake said. "I enjoyed it, at first… and he clearly did, too. Over time, though, he got rougher. It became less intimate, and more… an outlet, for him, and him alone. Sex just became something that solved problems, rather than what it should be."
"…and that's why you did what you did tonight. To protect yourself and shift the focus away from a problem," Ilia finished. "The things Sun told me are starting to make a lot of sense, now. Does this explain the thong on the door handle, too?"
Blake met Ilia's eyes once again immediately, and spoke quickly. "No, the thong on the door handle was a legitimate tease. I was just messing with him."
"…oh. Um… classy?"
Blake let a hand drop into Ilia's with a satisfying thump, and sighed. "You know me. But anyway… yes, that's why. I know I have problems, but those aren't 'hey new boyfriend, let's discuss my sexual hang ups' problems. I'm not ready. He's not ready."
"What makes you so sure?" Ilia inquired.
"I was his first kiss, and he's older than me."
"…he's not ready," Ilia confirmed as she lightly rubbed at Blake's knuckles. "But he's not ready to have his heart stomped on, either. You need to confirm with him that everything's going to be alright between the two of you, and probably apologize."
"Definitely apologize," Blake corrected. "The thing is, though… even discussing this with you, it isn't going to make facing Adam easier. He holds so much over me… my parents are here, Ilia, and you know he's not above using the ammunition he has against me. It's not just the actual abuse- it's the threat of more."
Ilia swallowed hard. "When you say abuse…"
"He hit me, occasionally, on top of what we just discussed," Blake clarified. "A lot of times, I hit back… and then we… avoided our problems," she finished. "I'm… so fucked up."
"We still love you, Blake," Ilia said as she rested her other hand atop her friend's. "You and I can work on this while I'm around, until you're ready to talk to Sun about it more. Okay?"
"…something about not being great, but making progress, right?" Blake attempted with a sad smile.
"Yeah. Whatever he said earlier," she agreed. "Go to him. Comfort him, and let him comfort you. I'll… work in the shadows, and do my part."
"Come home with me," Blake pleaded. "Just for tonight? It's pouring, and Sun probably wouldn't mind sharing my bed."
Ilia shook her head and sighed. "…I think it's best if you two have the rest of tonight, and tomorrow morning, to yourselves. Besides, this place is a Fang hideout, now, and there's a good chance Cinnamon's in one of the rooms just below here. I should go and get ready to head back, once the storm clears."
Blake stood and watched as Ilia rose with her, before trapping her friend in a tight embrace. She planted a gentle kiss on Ilia's cheek before breaking away and heaving a sigh.
"…thank you, for coming after me… and for stopping him, before it got uglier. I owe you."
"We're even," Ilia offered instead. Blake nodded, and turned to approach the railing.
"Be safe. Be smart," Blake said.
"You, too. We'll see each other again, soon."
Blake merely nodded as she leapt the railing, and disappeared into the curtains of rain.
Author's Note:
I find it incredibly entertaining when reviews for a chapter mention anticipating something, and it's already written into the following chapter. It's hilarious how often we're thinking along the same lines.
Next update on Sunday, the 31st. Where the hell did March even go? This story is pushing 100,000 words and it's not even 3 months old. I originally thought we'd maybe hit 40,000 at best, and we're barely over the halfway point.
Maybe.
-RD