It starts with Varie and Laney reading books in the Living Room. But then they are both interrupted by Lincoln who was playing on his virtual reality glasses. The game was fighting zombies with breakdancing.

Lincoln: "Take that, zombie!" [twerks] "Feel my twerk, you evil jerk!" [killing zombies; does a pelvic thrust.] "HOO!"

Me: Go Lincoln! Show those Zombies what for! Whoo!

Laney: (Thoughts) Lincoln must be playing games on his glasses again. Must be so cool to play in virtual reality. Maybe I can ask him if I can have a turn.

[Lincoln continues to breakdance; he goes up the stairs and does more moves in the hallway where he then enters one particular room.]

Lori: "Lincoln!"

Lincoln: [takes the goggles off and sees Lori making an angry face at him.] "AAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Me: Oh! Are we in your room Lori? I'm sorry. Lincoln accidentally wound up in here while playing VR Games.

Lori: "There's only one rule in this house: Stay out of my bedroom! If I catch you in here again, I will literally turn you into a human pretzel!" [on the phone] "No, not you, Bobby." [giggles] "One sec, okay?" [kicks Lincoln out of her room.]

Me: Well that was not nice.

[Lincoln puts his goggles back on and continues to dance the zombies away.]

Lincoln: "OH, YEAH!"

[goes into the bathroom; realizes what he's doing in there.] "Zombies don't need to see this." [takes the goggles off and sets them on the sink.]

Me: Excuse me, Lincoln.

I turn my back to him and face the wall.

[There's a knock at the door.]

Lincoln: "Occupied!"

[The knocking then turns into a pounding.]

Lincoln: "I can't believe some..." [answers door to see Lori is there.]

Lori: [on the phone] "Bobby, you'll never guess what Whitney said to me today."

Lincoln: [rhetorically] "That you don't respect a man's privacy?"

Me: Yeah Lori. We were in here first.

Lori: [ignoring Lincoln and kicking me and him out.] "No, silly! Not even. She was all like..."

[Me and Lincoln go to Lincoln's room and realizes something.]

Lincoln: "Oh no! My gaming glasses!"

Me: Let's go back and get them!

[We rush to the bathroom but we are stopped by Lola and Lana who are dressed in some kind of authority attire.]

Lana: "No running in the hallway!"

Lincoln: "Huh? What are you talking about?"

Lola: "Lana, is this maggot giving you lip?" [writes Lincoln up]

Lana: "We're the new hall monitors at school, so we're practicing at home."

Me: You two look very official. But something's missing. (gets an idea) I know!

I pull out two police hats and put them on their heads.

Me: There. Now you two look official. I got those hats on a class field trip to the police station. They gave them to me.

Lana: Cool. Thanks J.D.

[They give Lincoln a ticket.]

Lola: "I got to admit we do look official but If we catch you two speeding again, you're going downtown! We already locked up Luan for telling bad jokes." [reveals Luan in a cardboard jail cell.]

Luan: "Hey! Did you hear the one about the thief who stole a calendar? He got twelve months!" [laughs to rimshot] "Get it?"

Me: (Laughs) Good one Luan. What did the robber say when he held up a pizzeria?

Luan: What?

Me: He said "Gimme all your dough!" [Rimshot]

Me, Lincoln, Luan and Lana laugh

Lola: "That's five more minutes, dirt bag! But that was a good one J.D."

Me: Thank you Lola.

Lana: By the way J.D. are you fully healed after April Fools Day Last week?

Me: Getting there. My eye still hurts but I should be at 100% in 2 days.

Lola: Well that's good but no more speeding okay?

Lincoln: "Okay, okay. I'll walk within the speed limit. I swear."

Lana: "NO SWEARING!"

Me: No Lana. He means we promise.

[As they leave for their room/office, Me and Lincoln go to the bathroom to find that Lincoln's goggles are now totaled.]

Lincoln: "Someone stepped on my glasses! NOOOOOO!"

[Since Lori kicked him out when he left them in there, he automatically blames her and sees that she left in the family van.] Lincoln: [enraged] "LORI! YOU DIRT BAG!"

[Later, Me, Varie and Clyde is being told the story of the incident.]

Lincoln: "One minute I'm electric-sliding with the undead, and the next..." [groans] "IT'S ALL LORI'S FAULT!"

Varie: Lincoln just calm down. I'm sure Lori didn't mean to step on them.

Clyde: [holding the goggles] "I can't believe it!"

Lincoln: "I know! She didn't even say sorry!"

Clyde: [lovestruck] "No. I can't believe these were touched by Lori's beautiful tootsies..." [cradles the glasses]

Clyde was immediately snapped out of it when they head a knock on Lincoln's door.

Lincoln: Come in

Entering was sweet little Laney.

Lincoln: Oh, hey Laney. What are you doing here?

Laney: I couldn't help but notice earlier today that you were playing on your game glasses and I was hoping I could have a turn on there. But maybe with a game that doesn't have zombies in it?

Lincoln: I wish I could Laney, but I can't. Lori broke it. [shows Laney his broken glasses]

Laney: Oh no! Why would she do that?

Lincoln: "I'll tell you why! All she cares about is talking on her stupid phone! Well, I'm going to give her a call she'll never forget..."

Clyde: "What are you gonna say?"

[Lincoln looks in his drawer and pulls out a sheet of paper and shows it to us.]

Me: "Why 'blank' is the worst sister ever?"

I read the rest of it quietly and I gasp in shock.

Me: Lincoln, don't you think this is a bit too extreme?

Lincoln: [evilly] "I knew this would come in handy someday. I just didn't know which sister would be getting it."

Laney: Not me, right?

Lincoln: Oh no Laney. You're the only sister that isn't the worst... [writes Lori's name in the blank.] "But you, Lori Loud, have made my decision very easy." [dials Lori's phone number on his duck phone.]

Me: I sense trouble coming.

Varie: Me too.

[While Lincoln is waiting, Luna is jamming, and riffs to the last note of Lori's ringtone.]

Lincoln: [impatient] "Agh. Must be charging her phone. No worries. I'll just leave it on her voicemail."

Voicemail: "Hey, this is Lori. You know what to do." [Beep]

Me: Here it comes. Laney, Varie, cover your ears.

Me, Laney and Varie do so

Lincoln: "Hey, Lori. It's your dear brother, Lincoln. There's something I've been meaning to tell you. You are..." [goes into a blindingly raging rant about Lori; Luna comes into his room and rocks out to censor the harsh and foul message for any profanity it may contain, all the while Clyde watches in despair as his dream girl is getting roasted; finishing up.] "AND THAT IS WHY YOU ARE THE WORST SISTER EVER!" [hangs up] "What do you think, Clyde?"

[Clyde faints; enter Lori]

Me, Varie and Laney uncover our ears.

Lori: "Hey, bro. I just wanna say I'm so sorry I stepped on your stupid toy. So I went out and bought you a stupid new one."

Lincoln: [shocked at her generosity] "You did what now?"

Lori: [hands him new glasses] "Also, I'm very impressed you didn't freak out over this. Very mature."

Lincoln: [nervously chuckles] "Yep. That's me. Mr. Mature."

Laney could only shake her head at his mistake.

[As Lori leaves, Lincoln realizes he made a terrible mistake.]

Me: Well that was nice of her.

Lincoln: "Clyde! What have I done? I called Lori a-" [guitar riff] "-when she's actually a-" [harp string] "What am I gonna do?! You're right! Lori clearly hasn't listened to the voicemail yet, or I'd be a human pretzel. We gotta delete the message!"

Me: Yeah but how?

Clyde: [comes to] "Huh?" [falls over]

Lincoln: "Good talk."

[Me, Varie, Lincoln, Laney and Clyde are peaking out the door; Lola and Lana are tracking a trail of poop that leads from Lynn and Lucy's room to Luan and Luna's; Lori has locked up her room and entered the security password and leaves.]"

Me: Security in her room must be very tight.

Varie: Lori really doesn't like people going into her room.

Lincoln: "Perfect! Lori doesn't have her cell which means it's still in there charging. Our mission is to infiltrate her room and delete the message before she gets back."

Clyde: "But Lori's room is off limits."

Lincoln: "I know. That's why I need you to be a lookout for her."

Clyde: "That's easy. I'm always on the lookout for Lori."

Lincoln: "Then let's do this!"

Laney: Wait! What can I do?

We thought about it, then looked outside to see the twins still patroling the hallway.

Lana: "I know poop when I see it, and that's definitely some poop."

Lincoln: Got it! You can distract Lola and Lana. Make sure they don't see me. Can you handle that?

Laney: I'll try.

Lincoln: Great! [puts on a black snow hat] Go time!

[Lincoln sneaks by while the twins check the sound he made only to see he's nowhere. Then Laney came in to act as the distraction]

Lola: You got a hall pass young lady?

[She see's Lincoln hiding up on the top of the doorway]

Laney: I think I see Geo making a run for it.

[Points the other way and while the twins were looking she pulls a hamster treat out of her pocket and tosses it behind her. Making Geo the hanster go after it]

Lana: "Hey, fur ball! No speeding!"

[The twins give chase to Geo.]

Twins: "Hey! What did we just say? Get back here!"

[Laney gives Lincoln an OK signal, then he sneaks into the vent.]

Lincoln: "I'm in."

Clyde: [with a schematic of the house] "Great. Proceed two clicks north, hook a left, and you should be right over the target."

[Lincoln heads down that pathway.]

Lincoln: "I've got eyes on the package."

[He breaks into Lori's room and finds the phone still charging.]

Me: Copy that.

Clyde: "Lincoln! Lori's coming!"

Lincoln: "You're going to have to stall her!"

Clyde: "Roger that..." [draws a mustache on his upper lip with a marker and tears off his shirt, revealing a white tux underneath it and acts so suave as Lori approaches.] "Hey, beautiful, you take these stairs often?"

Lori: [throws her arms around him and swoons] "I will now...handsome~..." [winks to him]

[Lincoln grabs the phone and starts playing the message.] Message: "Hey, Lori. It's your dear brother, Lincoln."

[Lincoln deletes it]

Phone: "Message deleted."

[Lincoln sneaks out right before Lori enters; and it turns out it was all just a dramatization of what could happen.]

Lincoln: "And that's how we're gonna do it!"

Varie: Nice plan.

Me: It just might work.

Clyde: "I love it! Especially the part where I get to talk to Lori." [starts applying perfume onto him.]

Lincoln: [coughs] "Is that perfume?"

Laney: [coughs] What kind of perfume is that?

Clyde: "It's my Nana's."

Varie: You should've brought some cologne.

Lincoln: "Here are the blueprints for the vents." [hands Clyde a drawing of them with some red stuff all over it.]

Clyde: "Are these food stains?"

Lincoln: "I eat ketchup-sandwiches while I floor-plan."

Laney: [whispers to Clyde] Don't ask why.

[They hear a door opening]

Laney: Lori's coming!

[Lori locks the door to her room and enters the security password just like in the dramatization.]

Lincoln: "Okay, let's do this."

Me: Lets go.

Clyde: [hops over to the position from the dramatization.] "I'M IN POSITION!"

Varie: Ow. Copy that.

[The loud feedback on the other end knocks Lincoln back.]

Lincoln: "Roger that." [sees Lola writing Lily up for not wearing her diaper.]

Lola: "No, I can't let you off with a warning!"

Lily: [laughs]

[Lincoln sneaks by, but Cliff gets on his hat and starts padding it; Lincoln shoos him off only for the cat's tail to hit his nose and stifles a sneeze with Lily's diaper.]

Lola: "Next time, remember. This is a mandatory diaper zone!"

[Lincoln realizes he just used it and throws up; this gets the twin guards' attention and he's hiding up the doorway, Then Laney came in to act as a distraction, problem was she didn't know what to do.]

Lana: And where do you think you're goin'?

Laney: Uhhh... Umm...[Sees Lincoln slipping on top of the doorway]

Lincoln: "Gah...ketchup fingers..."

Laney: Uhhhh... [Then sees Lily crawling away without wearing a diaper]

Laney: "SHE'S MAKING A CRAWL FOR IT!"

Lola: You just got lucky!

[They chase after her; Lincoln manages to sneak into the vents.]

Lincoln: "Clyde, Me and J.D. are in."

[Lucy is right next to him.]

Lucy: "Hey, Lincoln, Hey J.D.."

Lincoln: [screams] "Lucy! What are you doing in here?"

Lucy: "I come here to think. I actually just wrote a new poem called "Ventilate".

Inside the wall I choose to be alone If I ever get stuck Please listen for my moan."

Me: Very good, Lucy.

Lincoln: [nervous] "Riiiiight." [chuckles] "Clyde, get me to Lori's room, now." [creeps away from Lucy] Clyde: "Go three clicks, and a right. Or was it three rights and a click? Wait. What's a click?"

Laney smacks her forehead

Me: Just follow me, Lincoln.

We crawl through the vents and take a left and we made it to Lori and Leni's Room.

Lincoln: "I've got eyes on the package."

Clyde: "Package? What about Lori's phone?"

Me: That is the package Clyde.

I open the vent and drop down a red rope and enters Lori's room via the rope; however, it seems to be coming undone.]

Lincoln: "Clyde, what kind of rope is this?"

Clyde: "Cherry licorice rope."

Laney: Why would you use Licorice?

Clyde: It was the only rope I could find.

[Lincoln screams and thuds onto the floor; this gets Lori's attention as she heads up the stairs to check it out.]

Clyde: [frantic] "Lincoln! Lori's coming!" [suave] "Don't worry, I'll stall her." [draws a fake mustache on his upper lip and takes his shirt off and approaches Lori only to be stunned by her beauty.]

Lori: "What?"

[Clyde suddenly gets a nasty nosebleed from his shyness.]

Lori: "Ugh! Gross!" [runs to her room]

Varie: Oh Clyde.

[Lincoln is just about to delete the message when he hears Lori just about to come on; she enters and looks around with an displeased look on her face; Lincoln is hiding under her bed; Lori kicks off her shoes right under them and they hit Lincoln in his face.]

Lincoln: "Ugh!" [shuts his mouth]

Lori: [suspiciously checks under her bed] "So, this is where all my shoes are." [sees all her shoes under her bed]

[Lincoln had escaped her line of sight and tries reaching for the phone, but Walt perches right onto it and bites Lincoln's finger, making him hold in his yelp of pain; Lori's phone finishes charging.]

Lori: "Finally." [takes phone] "Ooh! New messages! I'm so loved!" [leaves]

Lincoln: [panicking] "Mission is compromised! The package is on the move? Clyde?"

[Clyde has covered his nostrils with tissues to clear up the bleeding.]

Lincoln: "Clyde! Do you read me?!"

Laney: Um, Clyde is unable to speak with you right now.

Varie: He's unconcious due to a nosebleed, Lincoln.

[Lori is listening to all of her messages she got.]

Message 1: "Hey, babe. It's Bobby. Do you think we'll always be together?"

Lori: "Aww! Totes saving that one!" [saves it]

[Clyde faints again]

Message 2: "Hey, babe. It's Bobby again. Should our couple name be Bori or Lobby?"

Lori: [saves it] "Saved."

[Lincoln hurries to stop Lori from getting to his message, but the twins stop him.]

Lola: "We warned you, dirt bag!"

Lana: "It's the clink for Linc!"

I jump out of the vents and go into Lana and Lola's room and break Luan out of the box.

Me: Run like the wind, Luan!

Lincoln: "Look! Luan's making a jailbreak!"

[The twins turn around and Lincoln makes a break for it downstairs.]

Lana: "Hey!"

Luan ran passed them like a wild animal.

Luan: You'll never take me alive, Coppers!

Lana and Lola give chase to Luan.

[Lincoln gets downstairs and finds out that he's too late and Lori is already listening to his hateful message.]

Message: "Hey, Lori. It's your dear brother, Lincoln."

Lincoln: "Lori!" [slow motion diving at her] "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" [thuds at normal speed] "Ugh!"

Message: "There's something I've been meaning to tell you. You are..."

[Lincoln looks on in horror, but Lori deletes it before the rant can begin.]

Lori: "Ugh! Delete! Lincoln, there are two rules in this house: stay out of my room, and never call my phone! My voicemail is full enough without useless messages from you!"

Lincoln: [sarcastically relieved] "Gee, Lori, I'm sorry."

Lori: "But, I'm gonna let it slide this time 'cause you were so mature when I broke your stupid toy."

Lincoln: [sheepishly chuckles] "Yeah, right. That's me. Mr. Mature."

[Lori gets a call and answers it.]

Lori: "Bobby. Only 12 messages today? I thought you cared about me."

Me: Whew. That was a close one.

Laney: Oh thank goodness. I thought you were a goner down there.

Lincoln: [sighs with relief; to the viewers] "Next time I have a problem with one of my sisters, I'll just talk to them instead of leaving a message or writing a nasty letter." [realizing] Speaking of which, where is that letter?" [looks around for it but can't find it.]

Varie: Uh oh.

Lori: [plucking nose hairs while talking to Bobby] "If you want our couple name to be Lobby, you're going to have to show a little-" [sees something on the floor] "What's this? Why Lori is the worst sister ever? Bobby, I gotta go. I'M ABOUT TO TURN LINCOLN INTO A HUMAN PRETZEL!" [reveals the letter to Lincoln and is enraged] "LINCOLN! WHAT IS THIS?!"

Lincoln: "Well, it's time to do the official dance of the Loud House: the Running Man!" [puts on his new game goggles and starts dancing away from Lori's wrath.]

Lori: "WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I'M GONNA-" [Luna rocks out to censor Lori's rant of revenge, just like she did for Lincoln.]

Varie then fired a stream of water at Lori and it froze and entombed Lori in a block of ice and froze her.

Laney: Whoa. Varie, I didn't know you could freeze people.

Varie: I also have the ability to raise and lower the temperature of water.

Me: That is awesome.

Lynn Sr. came back after going to the store for groceries.

Lynn Sr.: Can't Luna play anything quieter?

Me: Mr. Lynn we need to tell you something about Lori.

I told Lynn Sr. whats been happening and he was shocked.

Lynn Sr: Lincoln didn't know that Lori went out to buy another game for him?

Varie: Yes and that's what drove him to do the unthinkable.

Lynn Sr.: I see. Lincoln you can't play video games for 2 days. Varie, I had no idea you could freeze people too.

Varie: Yes. I can freeze or boil water.

Lynn Sr.: Boy you made her into a Frozen Lori-cicle! (Rimshot!)

Me, Varie and Luan Laugh.

Luan: Good one dad.

Me: Yeah. Good one Mr. Lynn.

Lynn Sr.: Can you please thaw out Lori? I'll talk to her.

Me: Okay. But we're gonna need a very big bucket to prevent the house from flooding.

Lisa then came out with a big washtub.

Lisa: I believe this is the appropriate size for a human sized frozen individual.

Me: Thank you, Lisa. This is perfect. Laney, can you use your plant powers and take Lori to the Living Room?

Laney: I can do that.

I place the tub by the fireplace and Laney grows a bunch of vines from her hands and they wrap around the Ice block and she placed it in the tub.

Me: All right. Everyone stand back.

I then fired a blast of fire at the ice block and it melted in 10 seconds.

Lori was shivering and she sneezed.

Everyone else was awestruck.

Lynn: You have fire powers J.D.?

Me: Yep. But I only use them when the time is right. Fire is an extremely dangerous force.

Leni and Luna pulled Lori out of the water and dried her off and I wrapped her in a blanket and brought her to the couch.

Lori saw Lincoln and she was still enraged.

Lori: [Shivering] L-L-Lincoln, I'm g-g-going to grind y-y-you into dust f-f-for that l-l-letter.

Lori sneezes.

Lynn Sr.: You will do nothing of the sort, Lori. Lincoln had a good reason to be angry with you. But he didn't know that you went out and bought him a new game goggle set.

Laney: Also why are you being so rude today? You kicked Lincoln out of your room when he went in there on accident?

Lori: The r-r-reason I was so m-m-mean to you guys is b-b-because F-F-Flip made m-m-me work like a s-s-slave.

Me: Lori, how can you stand working for that jerk?

Laney: Yeah, he's a total cheapskate.

Varie: Who is Flip?

Me: He owns a gas station down the road and he only cares about himself. He hardly even pays his employees anything.

Lynn: He works his employees into the ground without a break. Not even for lunch.

Me: I've seen how he treats his employees too. He's a total Taskmaster. I'm planning on reporting him to the Michigan Better Business Bureau and the Michigan Department of Labor.

Lynn Sr.: So you were taking your frustration out on everyone because of your job, Lori?

Lori: [Sneezes] Yes. I'm s-s-sorry guys. I hate my j-j-job and...

Lori breaks down crying and I comfort her.

Lynn Sr.: We'll continue talking about this later, Lori. I got to make dinner.

Lynn Sr. went into the kitchen.

Me: Lori if I may make a suggestion. How about you work at Gus's Games and Grub? I'm sure Gus would be more than happy to let you work there.

Lori: Okay. I'll see if I can apply for it.

Over the next week, Flip was reported to the Michigan Department of Labor and the Michigan BBB and was arrested. Flip's was shut down for good.

Flip was ordered to pay Lori $250,000.00 in restitution for his unfair treatment to her. He was sentenced to 10 to 20 years of Hard Labor.

THE END.

Another Fanfiction completed.

Hooray for the Houston Astros folks! Whoo!

This one was a challenge. Not as big as Brawl in the Family but right up there. Also, I don't like Flip. He got what was coming to him in the end.

Also I would like to Thank TotalDramaFan3452 AKA Kinghammer Publishing for letting me use Laney in my stories. I promise to not abuse her and you have my support and trust.

You rock man.