HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!
Act 1
Me and Varie are walking over to the Loud house.
Me: [To the viewers] Hello, everyone. Today is none other than October 31st, A.K.A. Halloween. One of my favorite times of the year. Lucy has a special corn maze set up and I have a feeling that this years Halloween is gonna be awesome. I have a tremendously scary surprise in store for it.
Varie: [To the viewers] Me too. We are going to have an awesome time.
[The Loud House is covered in Halloween decorations as the entrance of a corn maze sits next to it. Offscreen, a fridge door opens, and a scream is heard, as bats fly out of the house and towards the screen, darkening the picture. Zoom out to a close up of Lynn Sr. screaming in horror after seeing a fake severed head with fake blood in the fridge]
Lynn Sr.: "I hate Halloween!"
[He exits right. A moment later, Lucy enters, walking towards the fridge and picking up the head.]
Lucy: [smiles] "I love Halloween."
Head: "Bleh".
[She exits]
[Dining Room. In counter-clockwise order, we see Luan fashioning a sign reading "HAUNTED CORN MAZE" in red-stained corn cobs, Leni hanging black curtains, Luna, Lincoln, Lana, Lola, and Lynn Jr. carving pumpkins, Lisa making fake blood in a bucket, Lily playing with pumpkin innards and Charles resting against a corn cob. We pan left as Lucy enters.]
Lucy: "Excellent fake blood, Lisa. Add some molasses for better consistency."
Lynn: "Hey, Luce! Check out our pumpkins! Whaddya think?"
[Each turns their jack-o-lanterns around, showing each gruesome carved face.]
Lucy: "Hmm..." [points to a spot on Lynn's pumpkin] "More blood here, "[motions around Lola's pumpkin] "few more gashes on this one," [flicks out a tooth on Lana's pumpkin] "knock out a tooth," [points to the scabs on Lincoln's pumpkin]"add some more ooze to those scabs," [pats Luna's pumpkin] "dampen the head wounds. [Looks at Laney's Pumpkin, which has sewed eyes and mouth and has cuts all over it] Hmm."
Laney: Sorry, Lucy. I'm not very good at making Jack O Lanterns
Lucy: I don't know, Laney. Add some blood on the mouth and eyes and I think we got something.
Luna: "Halloween's kinda crazy with a spooky little girl like you!"
Leni: "Totes! I'm so glad Mom finally let you do your haunted corn maze!"
Lucy: "As am I. I've been waiting my whole life to do this. Not to mention my past lives"
Me and Varie come in.
Me: Hey guys!
Loud siblings: Hi J.D., Hi Varie.
Varie: Hey guys.
Me: You guys ready to have the greatest Halloween ever!?
Loud Siblings: Yeah! (Cheering)
Me: Right on!
I walk over and check out their pumpkins.
Me: You guys made some really gruesome pumpkins.
Lincoln: Thanks J.D.
Laney: I'm not very good at making Jack O Lanterns.
Varie: [Looks at Laney's Pumpkin] Laney, you did a really great job.
Laney: You really think so, Varie?
Varie: I know so.
Lucy: [Lucy walks off screen to Luan, who has just finished her sign] "Fantastic sign work, Luan. Just the right mixture of corn and gore."
Luan: "Ah, shucks! It's just something I cob-bled up together from a kernel of an idea!" [dances a little, laughing] "Oh Yes! A triple!"
Me: [Laughs] That's funny, Luan.
[Lucy and the others groan as a jack-o-lantern is thrown onto Luan's head]
Luan: [through pumpkin] "I'd expect more support from my "pump-kin!" [laughs as the jack-o-lantern's grin grew wider]"Get it?"
Me and Varie Laugh.
Lucy: [facepalms] "Sigh..." [turns to the others, as the screen zooms out to show Lincoln] "Thanks for all your hard work, guys. This is gonna be the best Halloween ever. I'm so excited." [her face shows a little change in the emotion]
Lincoln: [to the audience] "Trust me." [points to Lucy] "She's excited."
Laney: I know how you feel Lucy. I just love Halloween too.
Lucy: Really? Do you like the part where all the monsters come out of the darkness and scare people?
Laney: That's cool. But I'm more into going out in costume and get lots of sweet, chocolatey, toothache inducing candy... [drools, Lucy snaps her fingers and she snaps out of] Well, good luck with the maze Lucy. I'm going to get ready for tonight. [Leaves]
Me: Hey, Lori. Can we use the bathroom to change into our costumes?
Lori: Go right ahead you two.
Varie: Thank you.
Me and Varie go upstairs to change.
[static is heard]
Clyde: [offscreen, through walkie-talkie] "Jack-o-Lincoln! Do you copy?"
[The static goes off again as Lincoln fishes out his walkie-talkie, turning away from Lucy]
Lincoln: "Speaking of the best Halloween ever, Clyde and I have some pretty big plans, too." [He puts his walkie-talkie to his ear, to Clyde] "I copy, McBride of Frankenstein. Meet you at the rendezvous point in fifteen. Over."
[A thump is heard off screen]
Lynn Sr.: [offscreen] "AAAAAH! I hate Halloween!"
Lucy: "Oh." [everyone looks at her] "Dad must have found the severed limbs I stored in his closet."
Time skip to later in Laney's room. Laney was in the process of picking out a costume while Cliff was resting on her bed
Laney: Okay, Cliff. I want your honest opinion. Which one of my costumes would be perfect? [Laney comes out in a fairy princess costume. Cliff shakes his head] Your right, Too frilly but my plant powers make me look like a magical fairy. [Laney goes back inside the closet and comes back out in a mummy costume. Cliff shakes his head again] Your right, such a waste of toilet paper. [Laney goes back in; off screen] Okay, how about this? [Laney comes out in a witch costume holding a broom, Cliff comes up to her and purrs] I knew you'd like it.
[The sun changes from high up to setting. Lisa checks the distance on her protractor]
Lisa: [squeals] "Seven minutes till sunset!" [gets into the rest of her kangaroo costume and hops into the hallway] "Siblings, assemble! It's almost time for the annual ritual of deception versus confection; street name, trick or treating!"
Laney: Oh Boy! [Leaves her room and sees Lisa in a kangaroo costume] Wow, Lisa. You look cute in that kangaroo costume.
Lisa: That's the idea, dear sister
[Enter the twins in their costumes. Lana is Abraham Lincoln and Lola is the Statue of Liberty]
Lana: "Four score and seven pieces of candy ago."
Lola: "Give me your tired, your poor, your delicious treats yearning to be in my tummy!"
Lisa: "Hmm...patriotic, but unlikely to generate maximum candy confection."
Laney: Wait a minute. I thought you two were going as salt and pepper shakers.
Lola: "We are!" [tears off her Lady Liberty costume while Lana tears off her Honest Abe one, both revealing new costumes] "We're also a mermaid and a pirate."
Lana: "And salt and pepper shakers."
[They tear off the sea costumes and reveal the seasoning ones]
Laney: Isn't it easier to wear just one costume?
Lola: "This way we can hit each house three times."
Lana: "That means three times the candy."
Lisa: "Yes. I am familiar with basic multiplication. Your strategy is cute, but mine is far superior."
Lana: "Going as a kangaroo." [scoffs] "I doubt it."
Lisa: "Kangaroo plus baby roo." [reveals Lily who is dressed as her joey and cooing]
[The twins gasp over the amazingly adorable sight]
Lisa: "Precisely. That aw factor will increase my candy revenue exponentially. And the best part is, she only has one tooth, so I don't have to share."
Laney: Clever girl.
Varie: [off screen] I think you all look really adorable.
Laney, Lana & Lola, Lisa and Lily gasp seeing Varie.
Varie is in her mermaid form in a floating ball of water and she has spines on her arms and back, her hands are webbed and have claws, her teeth are razor sharp and her eyes are red like blood and slitted.
I come out with her dressed in my normal clothes.
Laney: Wow. Varie you look incredible.
Varie: Thank you, Laney.
Me: Varie is going as a Dark Side Mermaid.
Lola: There's a dark side to The Legend?
Me: Yes, Lola. The Dark Side is said that for Centuries, People believed that mermaids were evil, blood-thirsty monsters that lured and drove sailors to their doom.
Varie: We got the idea from when we we're watching "Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides".
Lana: Whoa. We saw that movie and those mermaids were scary.
Lisa: I must say Varie. You really do personify the dark side of the mermaid perfectly.
Varie: Thank you, Lisa.
Lola: But J.D. where is your costume?
Me: I have a special surprise in store for Lucy's corn maze.
Lola: "Lincoln! Clyde! Get your butts out here!"
[The boys open the door and reveal to be dressed as British masters]
Lola: "I thought you guys were going as Ace Savvy and One-Eyed Jack."
Lincoln: "Uh, we are. We're Ace and Jack undercover , trying to crack the cause of the missing crumpets."
Lisa: "Boy, you guys really don't want candy, do you?"
Lincoln: "Yeah, you're right. We probably won't get much this year."
[The two snicker slyly]
Laney: Is it me or are those boys up to something?
Me: It's not just you, Laney.
Lola: Eh. It's probably nothing.
Lana: "Alright, let's get some candy. Has anyone seen Dad?"
[They hear someone whimpering off in the distance. Lola groans and barges into the bathroom]
Lynn Sr.: [whimpering] "Everything's scary. I don't know why everything's scary."
[Lola opens the shower curtain and finds him in the bathtub]
Me: Are you okay, Mr. Lynn?
Lynn Sr.: I'm so scared of Halloween.
Lana: He gets really scared on Halloween, J.D.
Lisa: Every Halloween it's the same thing.
Varie: It's alright Mr. Lynn. There's nothing to be afraid of. It's just people dressed in costumes.
Lynn Sr.: I'm too scared.
Lisa: "Let's go, Father! Chop chop! These candy bags won't fill themselves. Though, I am working on a prototype which will do exactly that."
Lynn Sr.: [nervous] "Uh, sorry, kids. I can't go. I think I have the flu. Or the plague. Or a Charley Horse."
Lola: [exasperated] "Ugh. We go through this every year!"
Laney: All right, grab a limb.
[The twins and Laney grab him as Lisa hops off]
Lynn Sr.: [screams reluctantly] "I don't wanna! I don't wanna!" [gets dragged off]
Clyde: [to Lincoln] "Your Dad's doing better this year."
[They follow. Outside, the kids start chanting candy while Lynn Sr. is terrified of going out. Lincoln and Clyde fist bump and prepare to break away from the group]
Lola: [suspicious] "Hey, where are you two going?"
Lincoln: "Nowhere. We, uh, just decided to go through the neighborhood counterclockwise this year."
[He and Clyde nervously grin]
Lisa: "Seems like an odd, pointless choice. Much like your costumes."
Laney: I'm telling you, those two are up to something.
Lynn Sr.: "Have fun, boys." [sees something on his shirt and freaks out] "AH! Spider web!"
Lola: "It's a loose thread on your shirt." [plucks it off]
Lynn Sr.: "Well, I guess I can't trick-or-treat if my shirt's falling apart, right?"
Lola: [not buying it] "Nice try." [grabs and drags him as he yelps]
Laney: Want me to hold your hand, Dad?
Lynn Sr.: Yes please! [Laney holds his hand]
Later that night, Me, Varie, Laney and her younger sisters accompanied by their petrified dad, began their trick-or-treating route. With Laney being the most excited about it, especially the part where people give out candy.
Laney: Wow! Look at all the people in costumes. There's a psycho killer, a frankenstein, oh and a werewolf!
Me: Boy, everybody looks great in costumes.
Lola: You know Laney, I'm surprised your not as scared of Halloween as dad.
Laney: That's because they're not real monsters, just people in costumes. Believe me, nothing scares me.
[Enter Joey Anderson in a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde Costume]
Joey: [British Accent] Hey, Laney.
Laney: AAH! [Hides behind Lynn Sr.]
Lana: Almost nothing.
Joey: Relax, Laney. It's just a costume.
Laney: [Nervous] Uh, yeah. I know that... heh.. So, uh, what are you doing here?
Joey: Same as you, Trick-Or-Treating. [Looks at Varie] Ms. Varie, you look amazing as a mermaid.
Varie: Thank you, Joey.
Me: She's going as a mermaid from the Dark Side of the Legend. You look great as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Joey. One of my favorite stories.
Joey: Truly amazing and thank you J.D. Where's your costume?
Me: I have a special surprise saved up for Lucy's corn maze at the Loud House. It will scare you to death.
Joey: I can't wait to see it. [Looks at the Twins costumes] And what adorable costumes you have.
Lola & Lana: Thank you.
Laney: Care to join us? We're about to hit the next house.
Joey: Sure! I could always go for more candy in my bag.
Lola: Hah! I doubt you could get more candy than us!
Joey: What do you mean?
Lana: We have a system.
Lola: Watch and Learn. [The twins go up to the first house with their patriotic costumes and knock as the door opens]
Lola and Lana: "Trick or treat!"
Diem Doan: "Oh, aren't you two adorable." [gives them their candy]
[As the door closes, there's another knock with the twins now in their aquatic outfits]
Lola and Lana: "Trick or treat!"
Diem Doan: [easily fooled] "So cute!" [gives them more candy]
[Another knock and the twins are in their condiment costumes]
Lola and Lana: "Trick or treat!"
Diem Doan: [still believing] "Great costumes." [gives them more candy]
Lola and Lana: "Thank you!" [leave]
Lana: "And that is how it's done. One house, six pieces of candy."
Me and Varie come back and our pillow cases are full of candy.
Me: Great job you two.
Lana: And that is how it's done. One house, six pieces of candy. [The twins high five]
Joey: Impressive.
Laney: You should see how Lisa does it.
Joey: Does she wear three costumes at once too?
Me: Nope. She has an ingenius tactic.
[Lisa hops up to the door and knocks as it opens]
Lisa: "Trick or treat!"
Diem Doan: "How sweet. A kangaroo." [prepares to give her her candy]
Lisa: "And a baby roo."
[Lily pops out of Lisa's pouch and coos]
Diem Doan: [overcome by the adorableness] "Aww!" [gives Lisa every piece in her bowl]
Lisa: [hops away] "Thank you!" [contently to the twins] "Ha. One house, eighty-seven pieces of candy."
Joey: Wow, Laney. Your sisters are very clever.
Laney: Thanks. But if you ask me, I like doing it the old fashioned way. [Walks up to the door and knocks on it. Diem Doan opens it]
Laney: Trick or Treat.
Diem Doan: I love your little witch costume. But I'm afraid I'm all out of candy. That cute little kangaroo got every last one. [closes the door]
Laney: [walks back downtrodden] Aw.
Lola: No worries Laney. The night is still young. There are plenty more houses to go.
Me: Here Laney, you can have some of mine.
I give her half of the candy in my pillow case full of candy and it had full size candy bars and some mini candy bars.
Laney: Wow! Thanks J.D.! You're a true friend.
Me: Let us show you where we got all this.
We walk to a house 3 doors down with the door open and we go inside and there was a giant cauldron filled with candy to the brim with a sign on it that said "Help yourselves"
Varie: Behold!
Laney: JACKPOT!
Laney, Joey, Lana & Lola and Lisa fill their pillowcases.
We come outside 5 minutes later and go to Lynn Sr.
Lynn Sr. Wow! You guys hit the motherlode!
Lola: There's a treasure trove of candy in that house over there Daddy. [points to the house with the open door]
[The wind blows eerily behind Lynn Sr.]
Lynn Sr.: [screams] "A ghost just touched me!" [faints]
Lola: [shaking his face] "Daddy, wake up!"
Lisa: [pulls in a wagon] "Never fear, siblings. I have prepared for this eventuality."
[We drag Lynn Sr. on the wagon for the rest of the hunt]
Joey: Is your dad always like this?
Laney: He is always scared of Halloween.
I sense something.
Me: Uh-oh! I sense a disturbance in the Force.
Laney: What's wrong J.D.
I see two familiar faces. It was Hawk and Hank of Hazeltucky High School.
Me: [Gasp] It's Hawk and Hank and they're here to destroy our Halloween. Come on, lets head back to the Loud House.
We run back to the Loud House and made it back safely.
We hide our candy in the basement.
[Lincoln and Clyde run off in their direction. On the intersection of Franklin and Olive, kids are out trick-or-treating as Lincoln and Clyde arrive, but they hear Hank and Hawk laughing and hide in the bush]
Hank: "Franklin Avenue. Ha! Score!"
[He and Hawk put on disturbing baby masks, laugh, and head down Lincoln's street. The boys pop out as soon as they leave]
Clyde: [terrified] "Boy, those baby masks sure are creepy."
Lincoln: "Yeah. But little do they know where the real score is. Right, buddy?"
Clyde: "I can't wait to tell Dr. Lopez about this. But should I tell her in group, or wait for our one-on-one?"
Lincoln: "Definitely group. You might inspire someone." [They head off to the manor]
[A flock of bats transitions back to the Loud House where Lucy steps out and turns on the lights for her corn maze and carries in a bucket of fake blood]
Lucy: [into a megaphone] "Okay, everyone, places."
Me: Love your Grim Reaper Costume, Lucy.
Lucy: Thanks J.D.
[Rita steps out looking like a zombie, moaning and groaning]
Rita: [chuckles] "How's that?"
Lucy: "Hmm...not quite there. I think we need to lose a limb." [takes out a chainsaw]
Rita: [panicking and flinching] "NO, LUCY, NO!"
[Lynn comes out looking like a masked serial killer]
Lucy: "Here, Lynn. Don't forget your chainsaw."
Me: Tear some heads off Lynn.
[Lynn takes it and runs into the maze]
Rita: [relieved] "Ah."
Lucy: [pulls her mom's shirt sleeve up to cover up her arm] "A little homemade blood, and you're good to go." [rubs it on the armless sleeve]
Rita: "You're a real pro, honey. I should have let you do this years ago."
Lucy: "That's okay, Mom. I'm just glad to finally get my chance. I'm so thrilled, I can barely contain myself."
[Once again, her face hardly shows any change]
Rita: "I know, honey. I can see it all over your face."
Me: You look great as a zombie Ms. Rita.
Rita: Thank you J.D.
[Enter Lori dressed as a vampiress]
Lori: [Transylvanian accent] "I literally vant to suck your blood." [flips her hair and is stopped by Lucy]
Me: [Transylvanian accent] Countess Loricula. You can suck my blood anytime. [Lori and me Laugh malevolently]
Me and Lori hiss at eachother.
Me and Lori then laugh in our normal voices.
Me: Lori, you look amazing and truly terrifying as a Vampiress. Bobby would love you like this.
Lori: Thank you J.D.
Me: Ms. Rita can you take a picture of me and Lori? I want to make some pictures for Bobby.
Rita: Sure.
I hand Ms. Rita my phone and she takes 3 photos of Me and Lori. 1 was us smiling. The 2nd was us hissing and the final one was us looking at eachother with menacing faces.
Rita: Perfect.
Me: Thanks Ms. Rita.
Lucy: "Hmm. Missing something." [megaphone] "Fangs, here!"
[Fangs flies in and perches on Lori's shoulder, making her scream]
Lucy: "If you wanna make it more authentic, he could bite your neck."
Lori: [objectively] "No! I mean, this is fine."
Me: I have a better idea. [I dip 2 fingers into some fake blood] Here Lori.
Lori: Oh I get it. [Lori shows her neck and I dab fake blood onto her neck to make bite marks]
Me: There. Now you look like a real vampiress.
Lori: Thanks J.D. [goes into the maze]
[Enter Luan as Dr. Frankenstein with Mr. Coconuts as her Frankenstein monster as Luan laughs evilly]
Me: I love your Mad Scientist costume, Luan. You look INSANELY SCIENTIFICAL! [Rimshot]
Luan: [Laughs] Thanks J.D.
Me: Luan, Why did the skeleton go to the Library?
Luan: Why?
Me: To BONE UP on a few things! [Rimshot]
Me and Luan Laughed.
Lucy: "Hang on, Luan. Your monster needs more stitches." [draws some on Mr. Coconuts]
Luan: "That's sew much better!" [laughs] "Get it?"
Me: [Laughs] Good one.
Lucy: "No puns in the maze."
[A disappointed Luan goes in. Enter Leni dressed as Marie Antoinette with her head missing. She trips over the stairs since she can't see where she's going]
Lucy: "Looks great, Leni. But don't forget this." [takes out the head that was in the fridge earlier]
Leni: [pops her head out, gasps from lack of air, and sees the head] "Why do I have to look so pale?"
Lucy: "You've just been decapitated."
Leni: "Well, I'd still put on some blush."
Me: You look great as Marie Antoinette, Leni. A very famous French historical figure really is perfect for this.
Leni: Thank you J.D.
Me: Make alot of Heads Roll, Leni. (Rimshot)
Luan: [Laughs from in the maze] Good One J.D.!
Me: Thanks Luan!
[Geo rolls in and Lucy puts the head on his hamster ball. Leni takes a deep breath and hides her head as she and Geo go into the maze. Out come a pipe organ and Luna dressed like a skeleton]
Luna: "Ready to rock, oh, mistress of the dark." [starts playing]
Me: Let's make this [I hold a flashlight under my face for a more dramatic and horrific effect] [DIABOLICAL VOICE] A HALLOWEEN TO REMEMBER! (DEMONIC LAUGHTER)
Lucy: "Great diabolical laugh J.D. and Luna, Drop down an octave and try it in D minor. That's the spookiest key."
[Luna plays it as such and Lucy busts out her megaphone]
Lucy: "Okay, guys, the Loud Family haunted corn maze is officially open. Let's bring on the screams, people." [picks up her hood, scythe, and blood and creeps into the maze]
Me: Me, Varie and Laney are going to find Lincoln and Clyde
[Huntington Manor's gate. Lincoln and Clyde come walking by in their disguises]
Clyde: [British accent] "Fancy visiting a few flats and loading up on some proper sweets?" [Lincoln looks at him confused; normal voice] "Didn't you read the British study guide I sent you?"
Lincoln: [takes out the guide] "Sorry. I only got through the first ten pages."
[They walk up to the gate and Wyatt notices them]
Wyatt: [tips his hat] "Master Nigel. Master Alister. I thought you were in England." [opens the gate]
Lincoln: [British accent] "We got all the way over there, and then we realized we forgot to feed Nigel's fish."
Clyde: [British accent] "So, we flew back straight away, and Bob's your uncle. Well, ta ta."
Wyatt: [suspicious] "Not so fast, boys."
[Lincoln and Clyde stop and think they're busted]
Wyatt: "Next time, call me and I can feed your fish." [hands Clyde a card]
Lincoln: [British accent]' "Thanks. Well, shredded wheat, old boy."
Clyde: [quietly in his normal voice] "It's cheerio."
[They run into the neighborhood and take off their master costumes and reveal their hero costumes]
Lincoln: "We're done with the tricks. Now for the treats." [They fist bump]
[Meanwhile, Lincoln and Clyde are walking down the street with their sacks loaded]
Lincoln: "What a haul! Maybe we should take it to your house, because my sisters will pounce on it."
Clyde: "Well, if we take it to my house, my dads will lock it up and only let me have three ounces a week."
Lincoln: "Hmm. We need a Plan C." [They bury it underground. Bat transition to the intersection of Franklin and Olive as they arrive]
Lincoln: "Our hard work paid off, Clyde. Best Halloween ever."
Me, Varie, Laney and Joey arrive.
Me: Lincoln, Clyde, thank goodness we found you. The corn maze is starting.
Lincoln: Thank you for telling us guys. Lets go
[We high five and turn the corner and find, to their shock, that the jack-o-lanterns are smashed, toilet paper is in the trees, candy wrappers are all over the ground, and all of Franklin Avenue is a complete mess]
Lincoln: [shocked] "Well...maybe not for everyone."
Varie: What happened here?
[End of Act 1]
Act 2[1]EDIT
[The girls are closing up the maze]
Lincoln: "Guys, what's going on? Why are the streets deserted, and why are you taking down your maze?"
Lucy: "Nobody showed up. All my work for nothing. Not a single scream. Sigh."
Clyde: "Nobody showed up? Why not?"
Lola: "Because two big stinkers came along and ruined everything!"
Lana: "Yeah! They TP'd all the trees and smashed all the Jack-O-Lanterns.
Lola: "And worst of all, they stole everybody elses candy!"
[Lincoln and Clyde huddle up]
Clyde: "Two big stinkers? You don't think it was the guys we told to come here, do you?"
Lincoln: "No way, Clyde. There's plenty of big stinkers in our neighborhood."
Clyde: "True."
Lana: [anguished] "I'll never shake the sound of their big dumb laughs."
Clyde: "Wait. Didn't those guys have big dumb laughs?"
Lincoln: "Clyde, plenty of people have big dumb laughs."
Clyde: "True."
Lola: [vengeful] "And I'll never forget those creepy baby-faced masks!"
Clyde: "Wait. Didn't those guys-"
Lincoln: "Okay, Clyde, it was them."
Lisa: "Ugh. All Hallow's Eve, street name Halloween, is clearly ruined."
[The other sisters go back inside greatly upset of what happened. Lily crawls by sighing with despair]
Lincoln: [riddled with guilt] "This is all our fault, Clyde! We led those stinkers right to my street!"
Lincoln and Clyde: "We ruined Halloween!"
Clyde: "Why didn't Dr. Lopez tell me the pitfalls of looking out for me?"
Lincoln: "We gotta fix this, Clyde."
Clyde: "I'm with you. But how?"
Me: This time Hawk and Hank have gone too far! Luckily they didn't take all of our candy. We hid it good. Come on everyone. Lets get them!
[Me, Varie, Lincoln, Laney and Clyde now out of our costumes, are walking the streets]
Lincoln: "First, we gotta find those guys. But it won't be easy. We don't even know where to start looking."
Clyde: [notices something] "How about that trail of candy wrappers?"
Lincoln: [sees said trail] "That should work."
[We follow the trail until a gust of wind blows the wrappers away]
Lincoln: "No, our trail!"
Clyde: [shaking Lincoln vigorously] "What are we gonna do now?"
[Some familiar laughter goes off]
Lincoln and Clyde: [gasp] "The big dumb laughs!"
Me: I've got an idea
I call Lucy on my phone.
Lucy: [answers] "You rang?"
Me: "Lucy, how would you like to have your haunted maze after all?"
[Lucy emerges from her coffin and gives off a slight smile]
We arrive at Hawk and Hanks Treehouse.
I walk up to the base of the tree and deliver a powerful chop that slices through it and it falls.
Me: TIMBER!
The tree crashes to the ground
Hawk and Hank get up out of the rubble.
Hank: Our treehouse!
Me: Hello Jerks!
Hawk and Hank look at me and see me cracking my knuckles.
Hank: J.D. what are you doing here?
Me: I'm here to kick your butts all the way to the Moon.
Hawk: You think you can beat us?
Me: We won't know until I try.
Hawk: "Let's get him!"
[They leap out of the treehouse rubble and charge at me and I punch Hawk in the face and kick Hank in the stomach and punch him in the mouth and kick Hawk in the nose. Hawk and Hawk went down and Me, Varie, Laney and the boys run.]
Me: Lets go!
Hawk: Those guys are dead!
[We climb over a log, but the stinkers plow right through it. We hop over stones on a lake, but the stinkers charge on top of the water. We cross another log acting as a bridge, and when the stinkers try, their combined weight breaks the bridge, making them fall, scream, and climb up with their bare hands. Soon, they arrive back into town]
Hawk: [stops in pain] "Ugh, stomach cramps!"
Hank: "Aw, man! If you get a cramp, I'll get a cramp."
Me: [Taunting] What's wrong Buttfaces? Can't run as fast as your stomachs can carry you?
The stinkers growled at me.
Hawk: You are Dead!
Varie: [Taunting] Catch us if you can, Losers!
Lincoln: "Go!"
[The chase resumes all the way to the corn maze with the stinkers getting ready to pummel us as we rush in]
Hank: "They're ours now."
[Lincoln and Clyde duck into a few corn plants and lose them]
Clyde: "It worked! We got them in here."
[The stinkers are still looking]
Hawk: [a little scared] "It's really dark in here."
Hank: "Man up, bro! I want that candy." [Laney was in the corn maze watching the stinkers]
Laney: All right Stinkers. Lets see what scares you... [The Lights turn off]
Hank: "What's that?"
[Luna is playing on her organ]
Luna:
"When darkness falls on the house of Loud
Around every corner, new terror abounds
You don't want to lose your head! Ha ha ha!"
You can run, but you can't hide
They know that you taste better alive
I don't think that they've been fed
In a long, long time
Every corner, every floor
Watch out, they ain't herbivores
Ghastly ghouls out for blood
Sorry, bud
You got tricked
You got tricked
You got punked and pranked with a spooky twist
Before you wet your pants, better get out quick
Tricked, tricked, tricked
You got...tricked
Beware of fangs and bloody fur
A Loud House chainsaw massacre
There's no chance that you'll get out
Ghosts writing your eulogy
Heads are rolling literally
So, who needs their mommy now?
Spilling guts on the floor
Clean up on aisle four
Why you running off so soon?
Sorry dude
You got tricked
You got tricked
You got punked and pranked with a spooky twist
Before you wet your pants, better get out quick
Tricked, tricked, tricked
You got...tricked
[During the montage, the Loud Sisters scare the stinkers with everything they throw at them. Luan brings Mr. Coconuts to life, Lisa and Lily act rabid, Lori acts like she's been feasting on Rita, Lynn turns on her chainsaw, Lola appears like a corpse, Lana acts as her ghost, Leni walks around blindly under her dress with Geo rolling in his ball with the fake head still on, Laney was stirring a monster filled pot and cackled like a real witch,
Varie was in her dark side mermaid form and she terrified the stinkers by snarling and hissing and spraying the stinkers with water that smelled really horrible,
I unveiled my surprise. I had my eyes covered by my hair and I start to change. I become a hideously gruesome and horrific monstrosity loaded with blood, guts, body parts, tentacles and more. I was a fusion of every single horrific monster from the movie THE THING! The monsters were from the 1982 and 2011 movies and the 2002 Video Game. Lightning flashed behind the monstrosity and flames from the Netherworld flickered around it and it scared the stinkers so bad that it made them soil their pants 3 times,
and everything else in the maze terrifies them to the point where the sounds of their screams catches the attention of the other kids on the block and their screams also catch the attention of a nearby police car, and the stinkers run into Lucy who is blocking the exit]
Lucy: "The crimes you have committed this night shan't go unpunished. You reap what you sow."
[She slashes a rope with her scythe, dumping a bucket of fake blood on them, making them scream]
Hank: "Blood!"
Hawk: "I'm gonna puke!"
Hank: "If you're gonna puke, I'm gonna puke!"
A tentacle with a scary flesh flower covered in blood and slime appears in front of their faces and tentacles come out and slap their faces and the stinkers vomited all over the ground.
[As they run out screaming, Lucy gives a small smile of satisfaction]
Hank: [nauseous] "We're not...coming back here...again..."
[He and Hawk run off and a police car drives up and the officers come out]
Luna: [finishing her song] " You got...tricked. "
Officer Stacy: You two are under arrest.
[Everyone cheers for a successful maze scare]
Lana: "That was awesome!"
Leni: "That was so awesome!"
Lincoln: "Thanks, guys. I think we taught those two big stinkers a lesson."
Lucy: "No, thank you and J.D. for bringing them here. You totally made my Halloween. I've never been happier."
[Once again, little to no change of emotion on her; Clyde examines it]
Lincoln: "Trust me, she's happy.
We see the officers slap the handcuffs on Hawk and Hank.
Officer Stacy: Nice corn maze you guys got here.
Me: Thanks Officer Stacy.
Officer Paul: We saw the whole thing. Great job guys.
Rita: Thanks officers.
Me: These buttfaces had it coming. They ruined everyones Halloween by TP-ing the trees, destroying our pumpkins and stealing all our candy.
Officer Stacy: Is that right? [to Hawk and Hank] Well you two are in for some hard time.
Me: How about 5 to 10 in the pokey?
We all laugh.
Officer Paul: Great corn maze guys. Let's go you two.
Hawk: Anything! Get us out of here!
Officer Stacy: Happy Halloween everyone.
Me: Happy Halloween Officers.
They drive off.
Lincoln: J.D. Your. Surprise. Was. AWESOME!
Varie and the Louds cheered wildly.
Me: Thanks guys. I have shape-shifting powers. I wanted to do something really special tonight.
Clyde: What was all that that you turned into?
Me: It was a fusion of every single gruesome monster from my favorite Science-Fiction Horror Movie: The Thing. This movie was made in 1982 and in 2011. It's about an extraterrestrial shape-shifting alien organism that can imitate lifeforms perfectly and it terrorizes 2 camps down in Antarctica and kills alot of people. I decided to do a scary transformation where I become all the monsters in both the movies and the Video game all in one.
Laney: That was truly an awesome transformation J.D.
Me: Thanks, Laney.
Lincoln: Hopefully, next year, your maze will have more than two customers, Lucy."
Rita: [notices something] "Looks like we won't have to wait till next year."
[Every kid in the neighborhood showed up]
Lucy: [on megaphone] "Places, everyone."
[The girls go back in the maze. Joey runs in with the other kids]
Joey: Laney!
Laney: Joey!
Joey: I saw everything! Whatever's in that maze really scared those blokes straight!
Laney: Yep! And you can thank these guys for making all this come back from the dead.
Joey: J.D. that transformation of yours really was smashing!
Me: Thanks Joey. Those two had it coming.
Lincoln: "And Thanks, Laney. But too bad nobody got any candy."
Clyde: "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
Lincoln: "Let's go get our shovels!"
[Lincoln, Me, Varie and Clyde are giving out the full-size bars Lincoln and Clyde got to the kids who had their candy stolen]
Ballerina girl: "Trick or treat!"
[Lincoln gives her one]
Clyde: "Here you go."
Me: Lovely Ballerina Costume.
Ballerina Girl: Thank You.
Harry Potter boy: "Trick or treat!"
Lincoln: [gives him one] "And here you go."
Varie: Great Harry Potter Costume.
Harry Potter Boy: Thanks.
Robot kid: [in a faux metallic voice] "TRICK OR TREAT."
[Lincoln gives him one and the younger sisters are next]
Lola, Lana, Laney and Lisa: "Trick or treat!"
[Lincoln gives each of them one]
Lola: "Ooh!"
Lana: "Full-size candy bars? No way!"
Lisa: "Wow. Where did you acquire these magnificent specimens?"
Lincoln: "It's a long story. Let's just say next Halloween, we have a great place to take you guys trick-or-treating."
Clyde: "You'll just need a British accent."
Laney: [Bites into her chocolate bar] Mmmm! So good!
[The sisters run off and a boy as a mummy comes up next]
Mummy boy: "Trick or treat!"
[Lincoln gives him one.]
Varie: Great Mummy Costume.
Mummy Boy: Thank you.
[Lola and Lana come back in their salt and pepper shaker costumes]
Lola and Lana: "Trick or treat!"
Lincoln: [too smart for the trick] "Nice try."
Me: Good try you two.
[The twins walk away foiled. A girl dressed as a hot dog is the last one]
Hot dog girl: "Trick or treat!"
[Lincoln gives her one]
Me: Great Hot Dog Costume.
Hot Dog Girl: Thank you.
Clyde: "That's everybody."
Lincoln: "Great. And the rest of the candy bars are all ours."
Clyde: "Well..." [reaches in and pulls out a single fun size bar] "...there's actually just this one."
Lincoln: "Eh, that's all right. Giving them out was just as fun as getting them. Splitsies?"
Clyde: "Sure."
[They split the bar and take their halves]
Clyde: "Thanks, Jack-O-Lincoln. Happy Halloween."
Lincoln: "Happy Halloween, McBride of Frankenstein."
Me: This has truly been the best Halloween ever. But the best part was I got to share it with Varie and my best friends.
Lincoln, Varie, Laney, Lola, Lana. Lisa and Clyde all hug me.
Me: Happy Halloween everyone.
Varie and the Loud Kids: Happy Halloween, J.D.!
[Lynn Sr. finally comes to and wakes up]
Lynn Sr.: [relieved] "Oh, thank goodness it's over." [hears a thump and screams] "What was that?" [sees the Marie head, still rolled by Geo underneath, hitting the wagon and screams one last time] "I HATE HALLOWEEN!"
Hawk and Hank were both found guilty of vandalism, and Grand Theft Candy.
They were sentenced to 3 years in the Detroit Juvenile Correctional Facility and 1500 hours of community service. (8 hours a day = 187 days and 12 hours)
THE END.
Another Fanfiction Completed.
I know it's late for Halloween but I wanted to make a special version of it.
I watched the movie The Thing from 1982 and 2011 and they both scared the living daylights out of me. I played the video game from 2002 and it scared me just as bad. I didn't complete it though. I got scared the worst from both movies. But as I watched them over and over I realised that it's not real. Plus I wanted to make the Loud House Halloween very special by adding elements from both movies and the video game of The Thing.
I hope you guys like it and Have a good night.
The Thing of 1982 and 2011 belong to Universal Pictures, John Carpenter, Eric Heisserer and David Foster.
The Thing Video Game belongs to Vivendi Universal Games, Konami, Microsoft, Sony and Black Label Games.
Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides is owned by Disney Studios