Kakashi opened the door but waved Mei in so she'd go first. The suite next to the Hokage's was vacant, so Kakashi showed it to his new wife as her potential residence. The air was clean, as if the space had been recently aired, but the scant furniture suggested it hadn't been used since its construction right after Pein's attack. There were other suites available in the tower but, as Mei knew, Kakashi preferred visitors to be as far from him as possible. Besides, of the suites in the cylindrical building, this one was the biggest, despite resembling a pie wedge.
"This is yours, if you want it," Kakashi said. "There are other options, several different houses-" Kakashi trailed off, watching his friend turned wife.
"This will be fine Kakashi. There's no need to make a fuss. This is bigger than my apartment in the Mist." Before he could say anything she added, "I'll see to furnishing it, save you the trouble." She stepped over to the corner farthest from the bed. "I can even have a kitchenette." She smiled. It would be a pleasure to make her own meals, on her own time. She'd never gotten used to people waiting on her as Mizukage, day in and day out.
Mei smiled in satisfaction, looking around the room again. Mei felt the room's potential and was excited to get started on her new life.
Kakashi stood there with her for a few moments longer and then, "well I should let you unpack. Unless there's something else you need?"
Mei smiled at him now. "Nothing. This is better than what I hoped for, so get that worried look off of your face."
Kakashi's shoulders relaxed. "I just want you to feel comfortable here."
"Well I do," Mei replied. "Now back to work! Not everyone here is retired."
Kakashi held up his hands in surrender and left the suite in a swish of robes. Mei set right to unpacking her things. She quickly realized she was going to need several bookshelves, as well as other furniture, before she could properly unpack. She hefted a sack of the backpay she'd drawn on and left to go shopping. She had several letters she needed to write, mostly notices of her change of residence, but that could wait. Her new home was calling.
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As Mei got to know the Leaf Village, the streets and its people, she couldn't help but notice the whispers that followed her wherever she went. Thankfully, an empty training ground always seemed to be available if one was willing to look, and there she had some peace while outdoors. She wasn't sure if she found the whispers amusing or annoying. Clearly word had gotten around that she and the Hokage were married.
The news hadn't just spread from the gardener either. Kakashi had told his friends, obviously. Guy cried youthful tears of joy. The guards knew and Shikamaru knew. Kakashi said something about Shikamaru knowing "was enough" to spread the news far and wide. Mei didn't know what he meant by that but she hadn't had a chance to ask him. Kakashi was swamped with work whenever she went to see him, but that was fine. She had plenty to do herself.
Mei had always told herself that she'd have time to read once she was retired. Well, she was retired now and she was making the most of it. A lot of the luggage she'd brought from the Mist had been books she'd collected over the years. When she wasn't reading, she'd take walks, getting to know the village streets and shops. Kakashi joined her on occasion, showing her his favorite haunts or reading spots. It didn't take long before she had a rough mental map of her new home.
It shocked Mei how much time went by as she settled in and formed a routine. Mei's private life in the Leaf was similar to how things had been for her in the Mist. The difference was that her time was her own. She wasn't afraid to venture out into the village but she usually didn't. She was perfectly content to keep to herself and her reading. She and Tsunade quickly reconnected and they made it a point to spend time together, often on one of Tsunade's breaks at the hospital. Besides visits with Tsunade and chatting with some of the merchants, Kakashi was Mei's chief companion, when he was available.
Kakashi was constantly busy. He and Mei would meet for meals every so often, the way friends did, but the meals were in a formal dining room and he usually had work with him. Compared with Tsunade, who kept her work life at the hospital, it was jarring to have Kakashi so intent upon mission reports at meals.
"Could you put that away?" Mei asked one day.
Kakashi's dark eyes met hers over the paper he was reading. He had a page in one hand and a spoon in the other. He lowered the page to see her better. "Does it bother you?" He laid the page down before she could answer.
"It's rude to ignore your dining partner," Mei pointed out. She wasn't annoyed, she just felt like they'd seen more of each other when they'd both been working and said as much. Those had been at dinners after summits were concluded but still.
Kakashi considered what his wife said. He pushed the pages aside and settled down to his meal. "I didn't realize, I'm sorry. I'm used to eating alone in the office, so I just keep working."
"I understand," Mei replied, and she did. She'd spent many sleepless nights and lone meals in her office. Kakashi, however, did this at every meal within the tower. Mei made a mental note to invite him to her suite so she could cook him a meal; no paperwork allowed. "But don't you give yourself a break?"
"I use the restroom," Kakashi replied. The spark of humor was back in his eyes but Mei could tell he was only half kidding.
Mei blinking was the only sign of her confusion. "That isn't what I meant. I mean time off to recharge, weekends, holidays, things like that. You must have some of that here and there?"
"Kage summits are a change of pace."
Mei's confused look turned into a distinct frown; her brows furrowed under her bangs. "Your only time off is when you travel for work?"
"No," Kakashi replied. "Naruto will insist we spar if he's having a hard time with his studies. I sneak in some reading for pleasure. There's also training." Kakashi shrugged. "I make it work."
The meal concluded abruptly when a young kunoichi from the radio division came rushing in with a message. Kakashi gathered his reports and left with a nod. Something about their conversation struck the retired Mizukage as odd. It took her a minute to realize what it was. The next time Mei saw Yamato, she flagged him down. "Yamato, who does Kakashi have to assist him?"
"Shikamaru," was the prompt and polite response.
"I thought Shikamaru was his advisor and the jonin commander?" At Yamato's nod, Mei continued, "what I meant was, who does Kakashi have to assist with the paperwork? Task Delegation? Scheduling? Does he have general helpers? Secretaries?"
Yamato thought a moment. "There are the chunin who work the mission desk. Senpai has me to help him sometimes. He puts me on the guard rotation but I'm available to run errands as well. I also make sure he eats."
Make sure he eats? Mei absorbed that for a moment, biting the inside of her lip. She thanked Yamato, lost in thought.
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Mei continued with her pleasant retirement routine of reading, eating, sleeping, and exploring. Most days she was happy to wake up, eat breakfast, and then sneak back into bed for some more reading and dozing before seriously getting up for the day. Still, the problem of Kakashi's lack of help troubled her. She wasn't bored, exactly, it was just occupying her more than anything else. Giving up work was harder than she'd expected and this was a problem she figured would satisfy her while also being helpful to her spouse.
One evening, Mei decided to pay Kakashi a visit during "working hours". Mei knocked and then walked right into the Hokage office without waiting for a response. "Hey Kakashi I just wanted to-" She cut herself off.
Kakashi's head shot up off of his desk, scattering several papers. He rubbed his eyes as he greeted her. He'd been sleeping. Mei would have smiled if the sight hadn't just added to her concerns. In her opinion, by this time, Kakashi should have been out of the office for the day. In addition, he should have a few people helping with the mission updates, status reports, and the like. Instead he tried to do it all himself. He'd been Hokage for a year and a half and going like this nonstop? It was no wonder the kage summits had seemed like breaks to him.
Kakashi moved to rise but then didn't. He sat back down in his chair, hard, and put a hand over his eyes. Mei's eyes widened in alarm. "What is wrong with you," popped out of her mouth without her consent.
"I'm fine," Kakashi said, a sigh in his voice. He held up his other hand in a stopping motion, as if that would do anything to deter Mei.
"You don't look fine," Mei replied. "You'd better start talking or I'm hauling you to the hospital."
"I woke up wrong, my balance is off. I'll be okay in a minute." Kakashi looked at Mei around his eye-shielding hand. He smiled at her, an attempt at reassurance. He quickly closed his eyes again and took a deep breath.
Mei couldn't believe her ears. He was a ninja, how was his balance just "off"? Mei noticed her husband squeezing his eyes shut and then opening them again. "Do you have double vision right now?"
Kakashi's stubborn silence was enough of an answer.
"We need a medical ninja in here please," Mei requested of the ANBU guards she knew were hiding around the building if not the room. She was gratified to feel a chakra signature appear and then wink out as one of them body flickered away.
"I don't need a medic," Kakashi protested without much enthusiasm. "I just woke up suddenly and am disoriented. I'm tired, that's all."
Mei knew what he meant but it didn't make her feel any better. If she was overtired and woken up suddenly, she could feel a little off-kilter for a moment. A few long days and sleepless nights would do that to you. But Kakashi still looked a little pale.
"Why can't you stand?" Mei asked. Her voice was softer, less accusatory.
Kakashi sighed. "Everything's tilting to the left."
"Even now?"
"Yes," Kakashi answered. He was completely stationary in his chair.
The medic chose that moment to appear. She was a younger woman with pink hair and green eyes. Mei couldn't come up with her name but Kakashi solved that problem for her.
The medic addressed her Hokage with, "what did you do now sensei?"
"Sakura," Kakashi greeted her. "How did you know the medic wasn't for my lovely wife?"
Sakura side-glanced at Mei, as if she didn't completely trust the woman. "Because I've known you longer." She redirected her gaze to her Hokage. "What's wrong?"
Mei spoke first, beating Kakashi to it. "The Hokage isn't feeling well."
Kakashi couldn't argue with the statement. He remained silent in his chair.
Sakura approached him, hands aglow. She didn't have much to go on but it wasn't her place to correct a kage, so she did a chakra physical. After a moment she pulled back. "The Hokage," she said, as if mildly mocking the Mizukage, "is exhausted," she announced.
"I figured that much," Mei replied, irritated.
Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Then maybe the Lady Mizukage would be so good as to mention that next time?" Sakura turned to Kakashi, "rest. We've talked about this before sensei."
"I'm feeling much better, thank you," Kakashi replied with a smile that Sakura didn't return.
The woman bowed and left the pair.
"Your student?" Mei asked. Now she knew why the girl looked familiar. She was Sakura, the famous medic who had been an apprentice to the Fifth Hokage. She had saved many lives during the last war.
"Not anymore," Kakashi muttered.
"She didn't address you by your proper title."
Kakashi glanced up at her. "Jealous my wife?" His teasing tone lacked its usual lively luster, a reminder of why they were arguing in the first place.
"Don't change the subject."
Mei was the one who originally changed the subject but Kakashi chose to remain silent. Now didn't seem like the time to point that fact out. Besides, he was too tired to argue.
"So that was it?" Mei asked, gesturing at the departed Sakura. Her outrage needed an outlet. The medic's possible disrespect irked her, stacking on top of her annoyance at her disregard for Kakashi's health. He was exhausted and she said to rest? That was all? Then Kakashi just sat there, acting as if things were peachy.
"I told you I didn't need a medic," Kakashi replied calmly. He picked up a page from a stack on his desk, as if that ended the discussion.
"But I did, just to have her tell you to rest."
"She and I both know I won't."
Mei straightened up. "Won't you?"
Kakashi sighed again. "I have too much to do."
Mei scowled. "You're ill."
"I'm fine."
Mei's voice turned scathing. "You couldn't even stand just now, much less defend your village!"
This was something male ninja rarely understood, Mei thought to herself. If they went into a fight going all out with no plan for the afterward, how were they supposed to get home after they won? Passing out after winning a fight was basically the same thing as losing. Anyone could come along and slit your throat. Unless of course, they had intended to die in that fight. Again, that was stupid, dead men couldn't serve their village anymore.
Mei continued aloud when Kakashi didn't say anything. "If someone came along and attacked your village, and you were exhausted at your desk, who's going to defend it?"
"Naruto," Kakashi replied promptly.
Mei was stunned. "Naruto in not the Hokage, you are."
Kakashi's shoulders, if possible, slumped even more. His fatigue seeped into his voice. "If there was a threat dangerous enough that Naruto was needed, there isn't a lot I could do about it."
"You don't think much of yourself." Mei pointed out, annoyed. When Kakashi had previously joked about being a bad choice as Hokage, Mei hadn't thought he was in earnest.
Was this why he worked himself into the ground each day? Did Kakashi think he was only useful as a pencil pusher? Mei accused, "have you always thought you were this useless or is your absence of confidence making it more obvious?"
Again Kakashi didn't answer. He wouldn't even look at her.
"You are an S-class threat. You've been in the bingo book for years. There's no reason you should think-"
"I WAS an S-class threat," Kakashi snapped, his voice growing quiet again.
Mei huffed, catching his meaning. In the time they'd been friends, Kakashi had never even hinted at this insecurity. He'd mentioned the loss of Obito's Sharingan before, but the comment was so brief, Mei was sure he'd moved on from it. Had no one taken the time to slap some sense into him after the war? Did anyone even know it was needed?
Mei felt indignation fill her up. She set her shoulders and looked at her husband until he met her eye. "You were in the bingo book before you had that eye. I remember the page distinctly, because you're my age, so I took special notice. You invented an assassination technique and made jonin at fourteen?"
Kakashi shrugged, as if he wasn't that person anymore.
"Your skill has nothing to do with the Sharingan, that was just a bonus. Ninja don't become amazing overnight because they have some special eye. If they did, why would the rest of us bother to try?" Mei moved on quickly from that point, because sometimes she had wondered why she bothered to try when jinchuriki could literally move mountains. She needed to encourage her spouse right now, not hash out the concept of being a ninja. "Kakashi, I've watched you sneak up on and surprise every kage alive. I don't know about Naruto, but all the chakra in the world can't protect me if I don't detect a threat coming. Not everything we do is about world shattering techniques."
"But when the world shatters, what am I supposed to do?" Kakashi muttered.
Mei felt herself get angry, angry that her husband saw himself this way. "You LEAD. I KNOW you're good at that."
Kakashi turned and looked at her with no life in his eyes. "If I'm good it's only because it's what's expected of me."
Mei was dumbfounded. She stared at him. Of all the time she'd known Kakashi, Mei had never seen this side of him. It made her profoundly unhappy. So many things about how her friend operated as Hokage made sense to her now.
Kakashi didn't do things for himself. That was how he had functioned as a ninja and that was how he continued to act as Hokage. The problem was obvious. It was not ideal but completely possible for Kakashi: Leaf jonin, to choose to run himself into the ground. When he was a jonin, even of his caliber, he had peers to help him up, a hospital to fall into, and someone else could take over for a little while as he recovered. As Hokage, however, Kakashi needed to function as a ninja symbol, unflappable defender, political giant, or any number of other things that his village needed of him. Kakashi was trying to do all that but at the same breakneck pace he'd run missions since he was fourteen years old. It was going to kill him, Mei realized. Kakashi had to learn to take care of himself so that he was in better condition to care for his village. He couldn't go on like this.
Before Mei could say anything else, Kakashi looked at the clock, stood without wavering, and headed to the door. "I'm going to bed." He left Mei alone in his office, staring after him.
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That night Mei stood vigil outside Kakashi's suite door, puzzling over what to say to him in the morning. At three different times, three different chunin came rushing down the hall to Kakashi's door, papers in hand. Mei paused in her pacing to scowl at them as they approached. Wasn't there someone in charge at night who decided what was and wasn't important enough to wake the Hokage? She realized with resignation that there wasn't.
"It really can't wait until morning?" She whispered at them.
Each time the chunin frowned in thought for a moment, looked down at the page in his hand, and retreated. How did Kakashi get any sleep if he was woken for every trifle? Mei understood that there had to be a night shift to keep village business running smoothly but there was only one Hokage. He didn't get to punch out at dawn and go to bed like the night crew did. They woke him every two hours during the night and then he was expected to be up and functional all day every day? Mei was livid for her friend; this had to stop or rather, slow down. It didn't occur to Mei that this might be Leaf Village business or that she was interfering. This was about Kakashi, her friend. Hokage or not, he needed someone to help him with this.
Mei would have felt guilty about turning the chunin away but she knew the ANBU guards were also watching. They didn't stop her. She took comfort in their silent support.
Morning came with its usual brilliance, frosting the leaves in shades of orange and red. Kakashi emerged from his room, looking confused and refreshed. His confusion changed to surprise when he met Mei standing outside his suite door.
"Sleep well?" Mei asked, smiling cheerfully despite the circles under her eyes. She was retired, she'd sleep later.
"Better than I have in-," Kakashi trailed off. His look turned suspicious. "What did you do? Have you been out here all night?"
"Nothing, to you, but you will probably have three reports that need to be signed, or whatever those chunin wanted."
Kakashi's expression went flat for a moment as he processed what she said. Then his countenance became stormy. "You turned my ninja away?"
"It wasn't worth waking you."
"I'd like to be the judge of that," Kakashi replied. "Mei, I don't have to tell you how inappropriate it is for a foreign ninja, a kage no less, to interfere in Leaf Village business."
"You being woken up to judge if something is worth waking you is kind of self-defeating, isn't it?" Mei continued before Kakashi could. She looked down. "Kakashi I know that I shouldn't be meddling, but I won't apologize. I'm worried about you. I think your friends are worried too." Mei had had a lot of time to think that night. Upon further reflection, Sakura's reaction to Kakashi's condition hadn't been annoyed so much as worried. "You need to delegate some tasks, have someone around to make those decisions during the night shift, something! You work too hard, and everyone seems to know it but you."
Kakashi started walking to the office; he gestured for Mei to join him so they could continue their conversation. Mei could feel Kakashi's irritation. It was in the line of his squared shoulders, the measured stride of his walk. His dark gaze stared ahead, waiting for her to continue.
Mei organized her thoughts and spoke. "I know there isn't anything that I can say that will make you see your own worth. You're going to have to get there on your own."
"My worth?" Kakashi repeated. He sounded like he was working out a diplomatic problem.
"Yes. Your worth, you!" Mei replied. "How do you expect to take care of the village when you don't bother to take care of yourself? But you don't seem to think that you're worth taking care of, which leads me to believe that your self-worth is very low."
"Oh," was all Kakashi said.
Mei felt him switch tactics. He was abandoning righteous indignation and assuming indifference. His shoulders loosened and he slipped his hands in his pockets. He either didn't want to talk about it or was tired of arguing. Mei prompted him. "Is it?"
"Is what?"
"Do you think you're worthless? Only useful as long as someone needs something from you?"
Kakashi sighed.
Mei frowned, waiting for more of an answer. He was silent for a time. Their steps were muffled on the carpet.
Finally Kakashi said, "maybe."
"Oh," Mei replied. She had hoped she was wrong.
"Thank you for the uninterrupted night's sleep. I hope you didn't traumatize my chunin too much." They were at his office door.
Kakashi was smiling and joking again. Mei tried to smile back but couldn't, not when she knew his smile was an act. This was going to take more than a few nights' loss of sleep to fix. "Have a good day," was all she said.
Kakashi disappeared behind the door. Mei stared at it for awhile. She needed help, help from people who've known Kakashi longer. Sakura was an option but Mei hardly knew the young woman. Her old colleague Tsunade seemed like a better place to start. The Mizukage headed for the hospital.
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"So what do you think? You've known Kakashi longer," Mei finished.
Tsunade steepled her fingers. "I'm not sure if there's anything to do. As you pointed out, he needs to figure it out for himself. Pointing it out may have helped him identify a problem with his behavior but it ultimately comes down to him." Tsunade had taken Mei to her office so they wouldn't be overheard. Kage with personal problems was a concept very familiar to the two women, but the villagers at large may not be ready to hear that their brave protectors have insecurities.
"I feel like I could be doing more," Mei glanced out the window that gave Tsunade a view of the nurse's station. "But you're no stranger to that problem. I always thought working at a hospital would be hardest. How do you know when to stop?"
"How does a kage know when to stop?" Tsunade countered. She and Mei had both been where Kakashi is now. "How did you set your limits when in office?"
Mei nodded, seeing her point. Even the most important jobs needed limits. There had to be set times and situations where enough was enough and you cut yourself a break. "You think Kakashi hasn't set any?"
"He's never bothered to limit himself before," Tsunade barked out a laugh. "Usually his body does it for him. I've never seen someone survive chakra exhaustion so many times." The Fifth got serious again. "I assume he's eating?"
"He has things sent in, and works while he's eating," Mei replied. "When he eats with me he usually brings work with him."
"Letting him have his sleep is a start," Tsunade commented. "I could even order him to do it, for medical reasons. I don't think I'll have to though; he listens to you."
"Sometimes I wonder."
"Well you could always withhold certain marital relations if he doesn't listen," Tsunade suggested, getting a glint in her eye.
Mei arched an eyebrow. She smiled, matching Tsunade's tone and lightness. "That is none of your business." She was used to jokes like this and knew how to play along. It sent a pang through her though. Tsunade didn't know that she and Kakashi were not romantically involved. And even if we were- Mei banished the thought, like she always did. She had other problems that required her attention.
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At last Mei saw Kakashi walking down the hallway toward her, or rather, toward his room. She felt as if she'd been standing in front of his door for a long time, but it could be she was just sick of waiting there after her all-night vigil. Mei's relief at seeing Kakashi didn't keep her from noticing that the sight of her made his eyes widen.
Good, Mei thought, I have his attention.
"Kakashi, I need to talk to you," she began.
Kakashi glanced at his room door behind her, she'd moved to intercept him.
"Of course," he replied graciously. Despite his polite response, his eyes shifted about before settling on her again.
"I'm sorry about the other night. You're right, I shouldn't interfere in Leaf Village business."
"I accept your apology," Kakashi said. He angled to get around her, reaching his door.
"I wasn't done," Mei said, surprised that he'd taken it so well. She'd wanted to reiterate the importance of having assistants but now it was like he was blowing her off.
Kakashi stopped, turned. His eyes scanned the hallway again. "Look, whatever it is, can we talk about it tomorrow? I really need to go."
Mei raised an eyebrow behind her bangs. He couldn't see it of course but her crossed arms and tone said it plainly enough, "you 'really need to go'…to your room?"
"It's past my bedtime," he said shortly.
It couldn't be later than eight o'clock, Mei said as much.
"I know it isn't," Kakashi responded. He seemed to realize how strange that sounded so he added, "I'm beat, I just want to get a head start on sleep."
Mei uncrossed her arms in realization. "You just want to get away from me to go read," Mei accused.
"You caught me," Kakashi replied. He didn't sound the least bit caught, or even remorseful, just distracted. "Mei, I've really got to get to bed," he continued as if he hadn't just admitted to ignoring her for a book.
Mei held him there with a glance. "What's going on?"
"Nothing," Kakashi replied. His eyes settled on her. She watched as he drew his Hokage act around himself like a cloak, hiding his feelings. His words came out measured with the even tone of calm reassurance. "You wanted me to get more sleep, so I'm trying to. You're-"
Mei never found out what she was, because at that moment, Kakashi's eyelids dropped until they were nearly closed. At the same moment his body sagged into the doorframe, using it for support. Mei's mouth popped open in shock but no words came out. Kakashi took a slow breath, closed his eyes, and straightened up. His eyes fully opened again but he wasn't looking at her.
"Kakashi?" Mei's insides felt like ice, all her righteous fury fled. "What's wrong? Should I call Sakura?"
"No," he replied, just as calm as before, but his eyes still weren't focused on her. "Give me a minute."
That minute felt like the longest of Mei's life, and she'd had some hard times. She worried that if she didn't call someone, she'd have an unconscious Hokage on her hands with zero explanation as to why. Then again, when Kakashi told her the reason he didn't want her to summon help, it would probably be a good reason, and she'd feel foolish for overreacting. Her heart pounded. She was about to call for help anyway when Kakashi suddenly focused on her again.
Mei's husband looked weary but alert. Kakashi sighed. "Sorry, you were saying?"
Mei blinked and twitched a little. Her voice came out as a hiss. "What was that?" She managed to keep from screaming at him but it was a near thing.
"I'm just tired," Kakashi said. "You're right, I should take better care of myself. Let's talk about it more later. Goodnight!" He turned and headed into his room. Mei slipped inside before he could close the door behind him. He sighed again.
Mei closed the door herself, sealing them in together. "What. Was. That!" Mei didn't know if she should be frightened or furious so she went for stern.
Kakashi sat on his bed. He was slumped over, looking at his hands. Then he straightened up and looked at his wife; decision made. "Do you know how a shadow clone works?"
Mei frowned at this sudden question. Her mind immediately went down two tracks. One side of her brain asked why he'd be asking her this. The other worked on answering his question. "It splits your chakra evenly, is a solid clone," she frowned, trying to verbalize what else she knew, "and is one of your forbidden techniques if I recall correctly." Mei was starting to understand why her husband looked so tired.
"It's forbidden because someone could easily kill themselves in battle, splitting their chakra up like that."
"You made a shadow clone," Mei accused. "Why?"
"We might have to get into the why tomorrow. I don't have a lot of time. Shadow clones return their experience, and fatigue, back to the caster. The next one is going to knock me flat."
"How many clones did you make?" Mei was alarmed now.
"Just two, two is what I can safely do for an entire day."
"You've been doing this all day?" Mei could hear her voice rising but couldn't seem to stop herself.
"It's not every day but-" Kakashi stopped abruptly.
Mei watched her husband's face slacken. Then she rushed to grab him as he swayed and fell forward.
"Thanks," he sighed out as she maneuvered him into his bed.
"You're an idiot," Mei said. She tried to sound angry but her pounding heart kept the heat out of her tone. "I hope you know that."
"My idiotic achievements are for a good cause," Kakashi replied faintly.
"You look like an achiever," Mei indicated his prone form.
"I could get up if I wanted to," he insisted. "I choose not to."
"I'm sure," Mei replied, unconvinced. Despite herself, Kakashi's bantering put her at ease, at least a little. "Are you certain that I shouldn't call someone?"
"I'm fine," he assured her.
Mei could see he was forcing himself to stay awake for her benefit. She took her leave, turning the lights off as she went.
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Mei expected a change in her husband the next morning but he seemed as spry as ever. He calmly worked his way through the breakfast he'd invited her to.
"Are you going to explain yourself?" Mei was his wife and she felt she deserved an explanation, but she'd realized the previous night that that didn't mean she was going to get one. Kakashi was a grown man and a Hokage, he wasn't always going to explain his rationalizations to her. As was typical of him, Kakashi surprised her.
Kakashi swallowed what he'd been chewing. He didn't waste any time. "I make two clones every other day or so. One reads up on jutsu. The other practices, sometimes the jutsu a clone read about the previous day, sometimes other things. At the end of the day, at eight o'clock, the one that's reading dispels. He's usually less tired than his counterpart, it's my warning in case I'm not in bed and ready for it. The other dispels a few minutes after eight, putting me to sleep for the night. I gain what they learned and their experience. If I'm feeling up to it, I do it again the next day."
Mei nearly bit her tongue. Kakashi was basically tripling his productivity. While he performed his normal Hokage duties, a clone learned all the jutsu it could while another one tried out new techniques. Mei would have killed for such an option while she was Mizukage. The endless hours of paperwork were tiring but not in the way that helped induce sleep. Mei's body often felt restless and unused at the end of the day, even though she was exhausted from desk work. Kakashi at least felt an echo of the satisfaction of physical exercise. His system was brilliant, and dangerous.
"Aren't you worried that there might be an emergency and you won't be at full strength?" She couldn't help but ask.
Kakashi shrugged. "We're at peace, for one thing. For another, I can dispel them at any time. Besides, if there is an emergency my clones could provide me with intelligence from another part of the village. It wouldn't be ongoing of course." He trailed off, lost in thought. "That is something I should pass along to Naruto. If he makes enough clones, he can have a continuous flow of information about an attack from multiple angles. He has so much chakra that his clones can make clones with little difficulty."
"Do you trust Naruto to use this type of thing wisely?" Mei asked.
"Who do you think I tested it on?" Kakashi replied with a smile.
After a few minutes to absorb all this, Mei asked, "and by 'reading up on jutsu' you mean-" She trailed off, hoping he'd answer the question she wasn't sure if she had a right to ask.
"Forbidden jutsu, scrolls and scrolls of it," Kakashi answered simply, "for the Hokage's eyes only." His face lit up like a child with a present. His eyes practically sparkled.
Mei realized that this was something about being Hokage that Kakashi dreamed about, even if it was simply a childish fantasy. Besides the secret clan techniques, he had access to every jutsu the Leaf Village has on record. Kakashi had never wanted to be Hokage, she knew, but this was certainly a silver lining. Kakashi was a genius and most jutsu came easily to him, even before Obito's gift. The scrolls of jutsu the Leaf must have, from the past and more recently, would be a treasure trove.
"I'm starting to see why Orochimaru wanted the job," Kakashi commented, his face becoming serious. "Most of the techniques are extremely dangerous and have been locked away for good reason."
Mei frowned. "And you have a clone practicing them while the real you is doing paperwork?"
Kakashi waved a hand defensively. "My clones don't try anything dangerous. Most jutsu have notes explaining WHY they're forbidden. Those are interesting to read about in theory. I do a bit of experimenting here and there, it's safer with a clone, but keep in mind this is prep work as well. Naruto will have access to those same scrolls someday. I don't want him thinking he can try any jutsu that's forbidden just because it worked out for him as a kid."
Mei blinked in surprise. "Why did Naruto have access to a forbidden technique when he was a child?" There weren't too many things in the Mist that were off limits but the Leaf was a different story.
"It was before he was my student!" Kakashi defended himself. "It wasn't just one technique; it was an entire scroll of them. It's a long story, but the point is that we're fortunate he didn't get any further than the multi-shadow clone jutsu."
"Is it a village secret, how Naruto got that scroll I mean?" Mei asked. She'd found that it was easier to ask this than pester Kakashi until he finally told her something was classified. It saved time. Sometimes it was a pain being married to someone from a different village.
Kakashi thought about it a second before responding, "no."
"Then I'd like to hear how your only jinchuriki got ahold of an entire scroll of forbidden techniques that theoretically could have doomed you all."
"To sum it up, Naruto is sneaky when he wants to be and the Third Hokage wasn't expecting the sexy jutsu."
The more Mei tried to untangle the culture, lore, and history of her new home the more confused she became. "Sexy…jutsu?"
"Yes," Kakashi confirmed in a no-nonsense way. He didn't appear to want to explain that one. "I need to remember to have that added to the banned jutsu list."
Mei smirked, raising an eyebrow, "because you're susceptible to it?"
"No," Kakashi replied. "The sexy jutsu doesn't work on me."
Mei became confused again. "Why?"
"Practice."
"Practice?"
Kakashi looked her in the eye. "You learn to read smut in public without reacting and suddenly seeing a naked person won't faze you either." With that matter-of-fact statement, Kakashi stood and left for his office.