The feeling of agitated chakra moving throughout the tower woke Mei from sleep. She sat up in bed. Although the dark room showed her eyes nothing, irregular blips of chakra told her other senses that Leaf ninja were on the move. She checked the clock, it was one in the morning, definitely not a normal time for this kind of activity. There was a silent secret flitting about the halls.
Mei slid out of bed and checked herself in the mirror. With a toss of her head and a few adjustments her hair looked passable. Her dress, however, was rumpled from sleep. She called on her chakra, focused to keep the pH neutral, and used a bit of boil style pushed out of her pores to steam the wrinkles from her dress. Thus prepared, the Fifth Mizukage stepped into the hallway.
Kakashi was out there, dressed and surrounded by three ANBU and two chunin. They appeared to be finishing up a conversation. Kakashi started walking down the hall and everyone followed him, matching his steady pace.
One of the ANBU, it was hard to tell which with the masks, said, "sir?"
Kakashi stopped walking and turned. Despite the crowd of people behind him, he met Mei's eyes easily. She'd tailed the group down the hall. The rest of the party turned and Mei felt like a deer caught in the open.
"What's happening?" She focused on Kakashi, ignoring all those eyes.
"Ah," Kakashi replied, "I believe this is a drill. We won't know until we fully respond. I've received a report of a perimeter breach."
"May I join you?"
Kakashi tilted his head in invitation. Mei took five strides, which felt about two steps too long under the watchful eyes of the ANBU, and the small crowd parted for her.
Once Mei was at his side, Kakashi continued down the hall. He quickened his pace to make up for the time lost in conversation. Once outside, they took to the rooftops, heading south.
"What makes you think it's a drill," Mei asked as they ran.
"Shikamaru organizes drills once a month at random. Yesterday I was thinking we were about due. Plus the chunin that reported the breach didn't seem nearly as worried as I would expect him to be." Kakashi glanced at her. "Good thing you weren't in the hall guarding my door, otherwise I'd be the only one to fail the drill."
Mei smiled at her running feet in apology. Kakashi didn't seem mad, so she moved on. "Sounds like a lot of extra work for Shikamaru," Mei commented.
Kakashi smiled. "Yes, well, when I first suggested it, I told him I needed to practice too, so he was the only one who could organize them. Plus this way everyone gets annoyed at him for the disruption instead of me."
"Is this the only thing you've managed to delegate?"
"I prefer to take care of problems myself."
"Clearly," Mei replied, "which is strange coming from the man whose favorite word is 'teamwork'."
Kakashi cocked his head at her. "Where did you hear that?"
"I read it, in the library."
Kakashi continued to stare at her, questioning. They both jumped and landed on the next roof without looking; neither wanted to be the first to break eye contact.
"There's a book: Living Leaf Heroes of the Great War."
Kakashi snorted in disdain. Mei smiled in bitter understanding. With a title like that, the book was clearly written and published in a hurry to capitalize on the imagination of the public in the first few years after the war. The longer that book existed the more absurd it would become. Living heroes didn't always remain heroes and it completely ignored those who sacrificed their lives. Meanwhile, those who survived the war would eventually start dying, from old age or something else. It wasn't a title meant to last.
They leapt from the last roof on the block to the ground. They darted through the tree-filled training grounds toward the village wall. "You were reading up on me in the library?"
Mei noticed the ANBU had vanished, only the chunin trailed behind them.
"Don't worry about them," Kakashi noticed her attention shift, "they know their jobs. We are still responding to a potential emergency after all."
"What is that emergency exactly?" Mei asked.
"Perimeter breach, three different places along the south wall, possibly an attempt to divide our forces. We're headed for the middle disturbance."
"The enemy could overwhelm your forces on either side and trap you in the middle," Mei commented, concerned. She could tell Kakashi thought this was a drill but his plan seemed needlessly reckless considering they were supposed to be preparing for an attack.
"Not likely," Kakashi replied.
Mei could see that glint in his eye, the subtle mirth that made his dark eyes shine. She loved that look.
"I deployed my personal ANBU guards to cover our left flank." Kakashi continued, "the force on our right flank is Naruto."
Mei couldn't help but glance to her right. She half expected to see the blazing false dawn of Naruto's chakra glowing against the night sky. She saw nothing but dark forest. More importantly, Mei felt nothing. "I don't sense him," Mei said.
"He's been practicing," Kakashi replied, pride in his voice.
There was a break in the trees and they came upon Shikamaru standing next to the south wall. All doubt that this may be a drill was put to bed. The ponytailed jonin checked his watch. "Could have been faster," Shikamaru complained, then stifled a yawn. He noticed Mei and closed his gaping mouth with a snap. "Lady Mizukage," he greeted her.
Mei nodded her acknowledgement, not wanting formalities to get in the way of the drill. Kakashi entertained no such illusions.
"We stopped for dango," Kakashi quipped.
"Response time was better," Shikamaru continued, ignoring the lie, "unfortunately for my mock infiltrators, they were all at the westernmost breach. The other two breaches were decoys."
Mei smiled. That was the area Naruto had covered.
"Sounds like you have it all taken care of," Kakashi said.
It was a simple statement but Shikamaru took it as the rare praise it was. He half smiled.
"I'm going to escort my wife back if there's nothing else?"
Shikamaru nodded. "We'll do the full debrief tomorrow after I've spoken to everyone."
Mei was going to point out that it WAS tomorrow but Kakashi beat her to it. "You mean today."
Shikamaru waved them off, irritated. "Goodnight Lord Hokage. Lady Mizukage."
"Goodnight," they chorused and headed back at an easy lope. The chunin remained with Shikamaru to compare notes.
Mei and Kakashi were silent for a time until Kakashi spoke. "You were reading up on me in the library."
Mei internally winced, so he hadn't let that go after all. She forced a smile. "How else am I supposed to learn about my overworked husband?"
"You could have asked me," he said quietly into the night.
"I'll remember that next time you're free," Mei replied cheerfully. Her cheer didn't last.
"You were dressed in a hurry," Kakashi observed.
Mei was at first confused by the comment, then embarrassed. "Yes, I uh- I sleep fully dressed."
"To be ready for an emergency?"
"Something like that."
Kakashi looked at her but when she didn't continue, he let the matter drop.
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There was a knock on Mei's door. It was the middle of the day. She'd just finished lunch and wanted to read. It was strange having her hardest choices change from: trade alliances and mission assignments to: where she should read her book? This afternoon, should she read in her cozy chair in the corner or on her bed? Should she go to a training ground or a park to read outside? It was strange but not unwelcome. She didn't hold anyone's life in her hands when she chose to read in bed. If she chose to read in the park, it wouldn't sway the economy of a nation. Mei shook off these dark thoughts and answered the door.
Kakashi stood in the hall. He half smiled at her, a little distracted. "Can I talk to you for a second?" The Hokage asked.
Mei nodded, letting him in. Kakashi stepped in and stood next to her couch, lost in thought. When it was clear he wasn't going to speak right away, Mei went back to drying her lunch dishes. She still hadn't decided where she wanted to read. She dried her plate, thought about reading, and kept an eye on Kakashi at the same time.
Finally Mei offered, "you can sit if you want." She didn't know what Kakashi needed from her. He'd said he wanted to talk but he just kept staring at nothing.
Kakashi sat on her couch mutely and stared at his hands. Mei put away her dishes, wiped down the counter, and grabbed her book. She settled in her cozy corner chair but Kakashi didn't move or speak. She could almost feel the heavy thoughts on her husband's mind. His presence filled the room, as it so often had when he'd spoken at kage summits. Mei admired her husband's subtle command of a room. He was like the thickest air before a storm. You knew something was coming so you paid attention. Not this time though.
Suddenly Kakashi got up, thanked his wife, and strode out of the room. He'd hardly even glanced at her.
Mei smiled after him, the expression sad. Strange as his actions had seemed, she understood. When you were the one everyone turned to, sometimes it's a relief to know someone was there. To have someone to talk to, even when you couldn't, was a gift. She was glad to do that for Kakashi, for her friend.
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Later that week, Mei was officially summoned to the Hokage's office. "You wanted to see me?" Mei asked as she walked in.
Mei had planned to see Kakashi later for what they called a "public walk". After her talk with Tsunade, Mei had convinced Kakashi that strolling about the village could count as work. It reassured people, produced an informal setting in which to approach their Hokage, and gave him an idea of how things were going in his village. Kakashi mentioned that he remembered the Third Hokage doing something similar, so he couldn't really argue with her logic. Since Mei knew she'd see Kakashi for their walk, she assumed this was an official matter.
"Yes," Kakashi replied. He leaned around a large pile of paper to grab a small stack of folders. "I want to know what you think."
"About?" Mei asked, taking the off-white folders that were offered to her. She opened the top file. Yamato's photo and several documents, containing several redacted sections of text, greeted her.
"My official assistants," Kakashi leaned back in his chair, looking like a dog that had a bone.
Mei was surprised by the shot of relief that zipped through her. Her husband was making an effort to take better care of himself, or at least taking a step in the right direction. There was no guaranteeing that he'd use his free time to recharge. Still, she was pleased for the sake of his well-being.
Curious, Mei sat down on the couch that was against the wall, skimming each file. Based on the amount of text blacked-out, she made an educated guess. "Are all of your assistants former ANBU?"
"No," Kakashi replied, "most of them are current ANBU."
Mei resisted rolling her eyes. She loved her husband's humor, that didn't mean she was always in the mood for it.
"Plus Guy, when he's willing." Kakashi continued, "I need competent people who can handle sensitive information. Anyone in ANBU has already been cleared for that duty."
"So why aren't they needed in ANBU?" Mei asked. Her quick scan told her that most of them had served with or directly under Kakashi, but that had been years ago.
"These ninja are trustworthy but for one reason or another are not fit for…regular duty anymore."
Mei started over, scanning for the reason of discharge if one existed. She knew why Guy wasn't on the active-duty roster, but the others had discharge notices or other notes: psychological, physical, some even mentioned both. Before she went digging into each person's personal history, she looked up at Kakashi.
"I assume you picked these people for a reason?"
Kakashi came and sat on the couch with Mei. The compressed cushions tilted the two of them toward each other. Their shoulders brushed. Mei swallowed nervously; her heart thudded. Kakashi quickly reseated himself so they weren't so close. He took the files from Mei, chose one, and opened it. He held it out for her to see.
"Kiro's entire team was killed while he was on leave. He hasn't been the same since. He doesn't fit with any of the current squads and the ANBU Commander will only clear him for certain solo missions. He's been in mission limbo and spends most of his time training alone."
Kakashi chose another file. "Ever since the last war, Itsuki has been afraid of small spaces, to the detriment of missions. He becomes a liability if a mission takes him indoors. The doctors think his fear is linked to Madara's jutsu, the way everyone was wrapped up in cocoons, but they can't be sure." Kakashi closed the file and moved on.
"Saika can't focus her chakra anymore without her hands shaking. It makes it hard for her to form any hand signs at all. She remembered it happening during the war and it's slowly gotten worse since then. She can't pinpoint when it started so she hasn't been able to deal with the source of the problem head-on." Kakashi muttered as an aside, "which is her specialty.
"You know why Guy is on limited duty as a sensei.
"Misaki lost her leg below the knee during the war. The chakra and physical rehabilitation went well and she uses her prosthetic limb. However, she flinches every time she does, as if it will give out on her any minute. I've talked to Naruto about it but he doesn't have any ideas for how to help. His prosthetic may as well be his real hand, he channels chakra through it so well."
Kakashi's hand lingered over Yamato's file, the only one left. He did not open it. "Yamato follows me everywhere, as you've seen. I've tried to convince him to take on some genin but he seems to think I need more supervision than a trio of twelve-year-olds. To be honest, I don't think he'll be happy until he dies in service to the village. After what happened to him during the war-"
"What happened?" Mei asked when it was clear that Kakashi wasn't going to go on.
"The enemy captured him, used his DNA to make that tree jutsu stronger, and extracted information from him, about our forces, about Naruto, about who we most feared to fight."
Mei digested this. It was her understanding that Yamato was ANBU. She hadn't read his file to be sure but she didn't have to. For someone specially trained to withstand interrogation, to give up that much information was unheard of. "It's a wonder he's alive," she breathed.
"Kabuto had formulated a truth serum, that coupled with Obito's Sharingan, he couldn't stand against them." Kakashi paused, took a breath. "Yamato understood that he wouldn't be able to resist and tried to kill himself before they could begin. He failed." Kakashi's stoic demeaner faltered for a moment. Then he raised his head and continued. "So that's part of the problem, he doesn't think he should be alive. He doesn't think he deserves to be alive."
In the Mist, to give up information, even when tortured, was punishable by death. Mei didn't mention this however. Those sentences had always been left up to the Mizukage's discretion. Mei preferred her ninja alive.
Overall, Mei was shocked at this news. Yamato was a bit stiff but she'd gotten the impression he was satisfied and content with his duties and service to his village. "Have you tried talking to him about it?"
"He didn't want to discuss it. Kabuto however, did."
Mei was shocked to see Kakashi visibly shudder. It was times like these that reminded Mei of what village leaders around the world had been struggling with in the years after the war. They were the same problems she'd been dealing with as Mizukage: trying to organize the lists of dead or missing personnel, widespread trauma, manpower shortages, reconstruction projects, civilians attempting to fill the labor gap left by thousands of dead ninja, and what to do with the war criminals left alive. Tsunade hadn't passed the hat immediately but Mei had no doubt that Kakashi had been in the thick of things nonetheless. He should have been off of active duty anyway, while he got used to having two fully useable eyes again.
They fell into silence, each considering the levels of torture they'd faced and their means of resisting it. This led Mei back to Yamato. "A less lenient Hokage would have assigned him to some distant outpost, to be forgotten."
"I don't know if keeping him close is helping or not. At least here I can keep an eye on him."
Mei found that amusing, considering Yamato probably felt that he was keeping an eye on Kakashi. She cleared her throat after a minute, bringing them back to the files. "You trust them all?"
Kakashi nodded. His eyes were still distant, but he shook himself out of it. "Completely. After Guy and I discussed it, we agreed that he'd only work part time as aide and continue to teach. The rest of them agreed without conditions."
Mei smiled. "Then I look forward to seeing them around the tower. When I check up on you, I expect to see bustling assistants." She rose. "Are we still on for dinner tonight? And our walk?"
Kakashi nodded, but his eyes were back on the files. Mei left him alone.
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Mei picked at her food, eating robotically. She was thinking about the ANBU member who was claustrophobic and how she had personally felt when that strange wood style jutsu had fallen off of her. The image of her ideal wedding had been fresh in her head as the sight and stink of war materialized around her.
"How is Itsuki going to function as an aide if he can't go indoors?" Mei asked.
Kakashi swallowed his food before answering. "He can go indoors but he's easily agitated and loses most of his situational awareness when he does," Kakashi made an idle gesture with his hand as he explained. "The short version is he's unreliable in a fight but that doesn't mean he won't be able to function as an aide. His desk will be next to a large window if he needs to step out. I plan to ease him into the job, but he says whatever I need him to do he'll make it work."
"I wonder what he dreamed about," Mei said suddenly.
Kakashi looked up thoughtfully. "Do you think it has something to do with how he's acting now?"
"I don't know," Mei played with her food again. "I dreamt about my wedding."
"Was I there?" Kakashi teased.
"You were not," Mei replied evenly. Mei was too embarrassed to admit that the man in her dream was more of a stand-in than anything. Even now she couldn't recall his face. He wasn't anyone she knew or was ever meant to know. The idea of marriage had been what she wanted, not anyone in particular. That made her feel very low. What was the point of her marriage ideal if she didn't know or even love the man she'd been marrying? Mei brushed those thoughts aside and looked at Kakashi. He chewed slowly, thoughtfully, perhaps thinking about Itsuki.
Mei was about to ask Kakashi what he had dreamed about but stopped herself, remembering. Kakashi was one of the very few in the whole world that hadn't been caught up in Madara's jutsu. Instead she asked, "what do you think you would have dreamed about?"
Kakashi finished chewing and swallowed. "I don't know, never thought about it." He took another bite.
"I think you have," Mei replied. Her voice softened, hoping to coax a better answer out of him. It amazed her how he could be so forthcoming with his feelings sometimes and other times be completely closed off. Did she need to get him sleep deprived every time she wanted an honest answer?
"You can think that all you like," Kakashi replied stiffly. He didn't look at her. He continued eating without another word.
Mei didn't understand where his sudden coldness came from. However, she was afraid that pressing the issue would push him further away. If he wanted to share, she supposed he'd do it in his own time.
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Being married to Kakashi was interesting. Mei observed that he had acquired a swarm of loyal friends over the years that continuously buzzed around him. Despite his friends' swinging moods and fights, Kakashi always remained still in the storm, not giving or taking, at least not in a social setting. Yet these people were drawn to him, pulling him into a social outing here, a spar there. He remained unruffled by their attentions but didn't rebuff them either. It wasn't his title that made him aloof, because no one in that group treated him in any special way on that account. It was like he didn't know how he was supposed to act.
During battle, Mei gathered, Kakashi's role was obvious: plan, direct, protect, and get everyone home alive. There was no room for social niceties. No one doubted that he cared, not when he'd use his last ounce of chakra to protect them and even after that, use his body to shield them. To a certain extent that spilled over into his Hokage duties. When Kakashi was working he was the Hokage, he welcomed their input but when it came down to it, there was no question about who was in charge. But when they were out just being friends, Kakashi faded into the background. He was present but didn't appear to add anything to the group, whether that was among Team Seven, or his jonin friends.
Mei noticed a similar attitude in Kakashi when they'd been kage together. He'd lean back at their large round table and let the others squabble until he had something to say. The ease in which he let everything flow around him without appearing to be touched by it reminded her of a boulder in a stream. His laid-back attitude with the undercurrent of strength had made her look a little closer at the Hokage back then. She knew he manipulated things with his calm words and subtle gestures, but couldn't pin down how; that bothered her. Now that they were married, she was in a position to study her husband properly. Mei resolved to keep an even closer eye on Kakashi. It was a professional curiosity, nothing more.
"Kakashi!" Mei and Kakashi both stiffened at the bellow, for different reasons. It had taken Mei awhile to get used to how informal ninja in the Leaf were with their friends. Of the few friends Mei had, none of them were informal with her. And they certainly weren't anything like Guy. Guy was…unique.
That man rolled into view. "I challenge you!"
Kakashi sighed dramatically. Mei smiled. She knew he only pretended to dislike these contests; the Hokage wouldn't trade them for anything. It was something Kakashi made time for, of the little he had. Even when the village was rubble around then, Kakashi and Guy continued their contests to defy their disastrous lives.
"So what will it be my rival?" Guy carried on despite Kakashi's slumped shoulders and put-upon expression. "I won the last challenge so it is your turn to choose and attempt to redeem yourself."
Kakashi glanced around and spied a claw machine that had recently been erected outside a convenience store. The bright plushies inside grinned invitingly. He nodded at the brightly lit machine. "We'll take turns." He chose his next words carefully, just in case Guy got ideas about punching through the plexiglass. "Whoever uses the claw to get a plushie first, wins."
Guy turned and looked at the machine. "Agreed." His eyes narrowed at the machine. He vowed to defeat the machine and his rival in one swoop.
Changing their cash into coins, the trio headed over to the brightly lit machine. Guy went first, since Kakashi had chosen the challenge. The coin clinked through the slot and Guy carefully maneuvered the claw over the plushie at the top of a stack. He rolled around to either side of the machine, lining it up before hitting the button. The claw descended and closed over the plushie. The elusive stuffie, however, slipped free as the claw retracted. Guy groaned his outrage.
Kakashi took his turn, maneuvering the controls this way and that. Mei frowned at him. He wasn't really lining the claw up with anything in particular. When he did press the button, the claw grasped at a toy but lost its grip, just like on Guy's turn. Kakashi didn't seem upset by this. He watched the claw as intently as he had when he'd been moving the controls.
It was Guy's turn again. Kakashi watched his friend's progress, arms folded, brow furrowed. The stuffed toy slipped free again. Kakashi's turn was another hopeless attempt. Coins slid into the slot, one after another. Mei wondered if they realized or cared that a crowd was gathering behind them.
It was Kakashi's turn again. He stepped up to the machine, made two quick adjustments with the stick, and then pressed the button, sending the claw down. Kakashi turned and walked away, pocketing his hands. The crowd parted for the Hokage.
Guy spun in his chair and called encouragingly after him. "No need to give up my rival, the day is yet-" A plush dropped into the prize box with a squeak. Joyful music sounded and the lights inside the glass box flashed. Guy turned back, flabbergasted.
Mei stepped forward, pushed back the prize door, and withdrew the plushie. It was a grinning orange fish.
"My rival is so hip," Guy exclaimed as the crowd dispersed. "Leaving right when he knew he'd triumphed."
Kakashi hadn't been trying to get a toy before, Mei realized with a smile. He'd been observing the controls and actions of the machine. Once he'd gathered all of the needed information, he attacked.
Mei left Guy at the machine, fishing another coin out of his pouch. She practically skipped after her husband.
"You forgot something," Mei called, then she fell into step with him. She waved his prize.
Kakashi strolled along, hands in pockets. He turned to look at her and his voice was warm. "You can keep it as a souvenir."
Mei hugged it close, smiling to herself. She wasn't sure about what. The night air smelled so pure and hopeful. Mei was happy to be at her friend's side on such a nice night. She didn't see Kakashi smile down at her.
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Kakashi knocked on Mei's apartment door. She balanced a bowl in one hand and let him in with a smile.
"Could I talk to you before I-" Kakashi's eyes caught sight of the clock and he paused mid-sentence. "Is that really the time?"
Mei glanced around at her wall clock. "As far as I know."
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was so late."
"No clones today?" Mei teased. It was just past eight o'clock.
"Not today," Kakashi confirmed. He hesitated. He wanted to talk to her but regretted bothering Mei so late in the evening.
Mei sensed her husband's unease. "You're welcome to stay, it's not like I have to be up early tomorrow. What's on your mind?" Mei set the bowl down.
"We can talk about this later, I should really get something to eat before everything closes. I'm sure the kitchen staff gave up on me at least an hour ago."
Mei smiled. Her day had gotten away from her too. She'd only been fifty pages from the end of her book, then twenty. She told herself she'd eat once she was finished. However, once she'd turned the final page, she'd stared at the wall, thinking about it, for far longer than she'd intended. This wasn't the first time she'd forgotten to eat, but it was the first time it had been on account of a book. "I was just about to eat, why don't you join me?"
"I don't want to impose."
"It'll be no trouble. I made plenty."
Kakashi still looked concerned.
"Look, if you go somewhere else to eat, I'll be worried that you fainted from hunger on your way there. I've seen how you are after eight o'clock," she teased. Mei flicked her bangs aside with a toss of her head with a smile. "Really, it'll be nice, us having a little dinner together. I'd been meaning to do this anyway."
Kakashi finally agreed, remembering that she had offered to have him over for dinner long ago.
"So what did you want to talk about?" Mei asked, picking her bowl back up.
Kakashi blinked and focused on his wife. "I was going to ask how the Mist dealt with the labor shortage after the war. Did you allow civilians to pick up the slack? Did your ninja work overtime? Did you outsource?"
Mei shrugged and stirred the vegetables. "In a way, the Mist is used to labor shortages. We had a lot of deserters during the time of my predecessors. Besides, it wasn't like we had the same volume of mission requests that the Leaf did when the war started. I was still building up the trust of our client base." She glanced back at Kakashi, who was nodding along to what she was saying. He rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. "I'm sorry I can't help you. The war didn't put nearly as much strain on our economy as it did the Leaf." And with his question, Mei realized in a flash of insight why Kakashi had denied himself aides for so long. The Leaf needed every ninja they could get.
"Thanks anyway," Kakashi replied, sitting down on the couch. "Tsunade's solution was always to have everyone work harder. I pulled a lot of back-to-back missions after Orochimaru's attack. I remember what that was like. I've been trying to find other solutions. It's hard to ask people who are starting families to work those kinds of hours with no end in sight. Civilians still want to use ninja for the same amount of missions as before but the ninja just aren't there to fulfill all the requests. If we don't fulfill their requests soon enough then we've lost a client."
Mei nodded. She understood, truly understood, the strain Kakashi was under. After the war, the majority of the civilian population went on like nothing had happened. That was until their mission requests were denied due to low staff availability.
It came down to choices. If a village only took the most profitable jobs, then that overworked the jonin and left next to nothing for the chunin and genin to do. The logical solution was to take an even spread of jobs, like before, just do fewer in general. However, if a village sends a chunin or genin to do the humbler requests, they could miss out on a mission that might have been fulfilled by a squad of chunin, had any been available. And if the Hokage sent a genin to do chunin work and the mission was a failure, at best they'd lose the client, at worst, the ninja's life. There was also the danger of snubbing the clients who couldn't afford anything above a C rank. Those clients might decide to hire civilians, a rogue ninja, or another village. If a village lost those clients forever, that cut into profits in the long term. None of the choices were easy.
As if reading her mind, Kakashi said, "we're taking as many C and D rank missions in village as we can get, to keep the chunin local and employed. But the strain on our jonin and ANBU is near the breaking point." Kakashi sighed. "I wish-" He trailed off.
"You can't do missions right now Kakashi, so cut yourself some slack." Mei spooned up the rice, mixed in the vegetables, and plated the chicken. "Here, eat, relax."
Kakashi smiled. "Thank you for the food. It looks great." Mei waved him off but he continued, "I must be cutting into your leftover supply. You made this much on purpose."
Mei nodded as she unfolded her napkin. "You are eating what I planned to have as a second meal, yes, but you're worth it."
Kakashi almost said something else but she cut him off.
"You have enough to worry about, eat!"
They did eat. It was a cozy dinner, just the two of them at Mei's little table. Mei resolved to talk about lighter things and Kakashi allowed it. She was pleased to see some of the tension ease out of his shoulders as the evening progressed. It was even more comfortable than the evenings they'd spent together after a kage dinner.
Kakashi didn't raise his mask back up once they were done eating. Instead he stood up to clear the table.
"I can-" Mei began.
"Yes you can, but you made dinner; the least I can do is clean up."
"I'd really rather do it," Mei said getting up. "I know where everything goes."
"Dry for me then?" Kakashi offered. He held up the towel by the sink.
Mei snatched the towel with a smile, but tossed it aside and grabbed a different, thinner towel. "This is my drying towel." Mei was particular about what went where in her kitchen. It could be a reflex leftover from how she'd carefully pack for a mission, but she couldn't be sure.
Kakashi held up his hands in surrender. "Hopefully I don't mess up the washing."
"I'll let you know," Mei teased. "I'll be inspecting them closely."
Mei did check the dishes over as she dried them, just as she did every time she washed them herself, but she didn't have to hand a single one back. Kakashi was very thorough. She somehow knew he would be.
As they finished up the last dish, the plate slipped in Kakashi's hand. As it fell, both of them reacted, darting to grab the falling dish. They didn't see each other. Their heads clonked; the dish shattered on the floor.
They both recoiled at the same time. "Ow, sorry."
"I'm sorry Mei, your dish."
"Doesn't matter," Mei assured him. Her head hurt a little but she was more embarrassed than anything. The pain was already fading. "How's your head?"
"I'll shake it off," Kakashi assured her. "You?" He looked around for a broom, saw it, and began sweeping up the shards of plate.
"I'm fine," Mei almost laughed, trying to shake off the heat in her cheeks. "Good thing the other kage weren't here to see that."
Kakashi chuckled. "Or Guy, I'd never hear the end of it."
They swept the broken pieces into the trash can and looked at each other. Mei reached for Kakashi's head. "Is it bad?"
Kakashi laughed again but it was a little forced. He stepping away from her outstretched hand. "I'm fine, see?" He lifted up his headband to show her his forehead. It was a little red but nothing serious. "I had protection. If anyone is hurt it's you."
"I'm just fine. It'll take more than a bump on my head to get rid of me." Mei tilted her head, smiling up at him.
"What?" Kakashi asked.
"I don't think I've ever seen you without your headband."
Kakashi untied his headband to remove it all the way. His hair fluffed out; the silver locks impressively resisted being dented by the headgear. Without his mask he looked downright handsome, Mei realized with a start. If it wasn't for his scar, he wouldn't look mysterious or dangerous at all.
"I can't decide if I like it or not."
"The hair or the lack of headband?"
"Both." Mei stepped forward, curious. "Nope, I like it."
Kakashi smiled.
Kakashi had a nice smile. Mei figured she knew why Kakashi covered his face, he'd refused to answer when she'd asked back when they first met, but it was a shame. Then again, even if he didn't wear his mask, that didn't guarantee that he'd be this expressive. In fact, he probably used more facial expressions with the mask on. If it was off, he may revert to some sort of blank or stony expression to hide his feelings. That would be an even bigger shame.
At some point they'd drifted closer to each other. Kakashi coughed suddenly and he and Mei stepped apart. He cleared this throat again, thanked her for dinner, and left. Mei stared after him, unsure of her feelings. She wanted him to stay but was afraid of what would happen if he did.
Mei's shoulders dropped and she hung up the dish towel to dry. The linen was limp and forlorn, alone on its hook.
000000
"Is something bothering you?" Mei asked a few days later.
They were sharing the evening meal in the formal dining room. Kakashi kept breaking off eating to stare at the table, the wall, his food, anywhere but at her. He'd suddenly stop eating but then say nothing. At first Mei had assumed it was work that was bothering him but he'd left his paperwork in the office. With his assistants helping him by day and also rotating in a night shift to decide when a matter was worth waking him, his desk was nearly clean, but he was still busy. He said this only freed up his time for projects he'd left on the backburner, whatever that meant.
"I had a meeting with the elders today. You won't believe what they wanted to talk to me about." Kakashi sighed. He phrased it like the issue should be amusing, but wasn't.
"They want you to throw your next challenge against Guy?" Mei offered.
Kakashi smiled. The smile turned bitter. "They're concerned that you're manipulating me, that I'm falling prey to your feminine wiles."
Mei's eyes widened in surprise. She almost laughed but the look on Kakashi's face stopped her. "And my goal would be?"
"They were unclear on that," Kakashi took a drink. "I believe they assume you're waiting to strike the moment the Mist needs the Leaf for something. Either that or you plan to spirit away any Hatake offspring."
Mei did laugh then but Kakashi's serious expression remained unmoved. "You know I wouldn't do that? I've specifically avoided asking you about politics."
"I know," Kakashi agreed absently. He gripped his chin, staring at nothing.
"And the idea of me being pregnant," Mei trailed off with a nervous laugh.
Kakashi looked at her and smiled briefly, acknowledging that it was humorous. But he didn't laugh and his serious look remained despite his smile.
"Something else is bothering you," Mei accused.
"It's nothing," Kakashi replied, taking up his chopsticks. "I'll take care of it. There's nothing for you to worry about."
Despite Kakashi's assurances, Mei was worried. When people told her not to worry, she typically tried to figure out what she shouldn't be worried about. Kakashi hadn't said anything else about it and she didn't want to pry into Leaf politics. The trail ran cold. Then suddenly Kakashi turned cold.
Mei's husband pleaded off their next dinner, saying he was too busy to leave the office. Then he skipped the next one without a word. There were no more casual walks together and he didn't drop in at her suite anymore. When Mei did see her husband, he was calm and kind but there was no teasing, no shared smiles.
Mei had taken to strolling alone since Kakashi was even more difficult to pin down for such activities. One night she found herself wandering through the Hokage gardens, the green space next to Hokage Tower. Mei had just realized that the area looked familiar when she came upon a lone figure.
Kakashi stood with his back to her on a small rise with a bench perched near the summit. He was staring at the ground behind the bench and Mei withheld a gasp. Kakashi was scrutinizing the spot where they'd planted their marriage tree seed. Now that she was looking closely, the tiniest little green twig had pushed its way out of the turf.
Mei started up the hill, meaning to have a talk with Kakashi. He'd said he was too busy for a walk this morning and now here he was, ogling a sapling. She was going to demand answers or give him a piece of her mind.
When Mei was halfway up the rise Kakashi's head suddenly jerked up from looking at the ground and then he was gone in a flash of swirling leaves. Mei stopped in shock. There was no way he hadn't sensed her, she wasn't masking her chakra. Had he just intentionally run away from her? Mei felt annoyed but mostly hurt. He hadn't even turned to look at her! He'd just bolted.
That night, Mei slammed her book closed in frustration. Was Kakashi avoiding her? Was this his way of proving to the elders that she wasn't a distraction? Had the elders been spying on their dinners and walks? There was nothing else for them to spy on, to be honest. Did the elders assume the worst because they COULDN'T spy on what Mei and Kakashi did, or in this case didn't do, in private?
Mei puzzled over the problem for an agonizing stretch of days. She could confide in no one; only Kakashi knew the true nature of their relationship. If she told anyone that Kakashi was being distant, they'd assume the marriage was in trouble. That would put their reputations, and the plan, Mei added belatedly, in jeopardy. No, she had to confront him and figure out what was going on. She refused to seek him out, out of spite, although she frequently glared at the wall their rooms shared. She resolved that when she did see him, she'd demand answers. Mei felt she would burst the next time she saw her husband.
