This is a fanfiction created by my friend Harburton81 twisted from my perspective.
(It's very early at the Knudson-Loud-Anderson House. Lana wakes up, yawning, she see's Lola sleeping with her sleeping mask on)
LANA: Lola always needs her beauty sleep. So, that leaves me to get breakfast to myself.
(Lana got out of bed and stretches her back, she slides on the banister and land on the couch)
LANA: (to the viewers) You may know why I slide on the banister, it's better than walking on the stairs, and it's faster too.
(Lana went to the kitchen and look for something to eat, she look in the freezer for waffles, nothing. She then check in the breadbox to make toast, but no loaves, she check in the pantry, nothing)
LANA: Uggh, I can't find anything!
(She punches the pantry in anger, and a box of dog biscuits fell on her, she got up and look at the box)
LANA: (sighs) I got nothing left to lose.
(Lana opens the box and take a dog biscuit out, she tries one and she then devours it)
LANA: Eh! Not bad! These are great!
I come in.
Me: Morning Lana. Are you eating dog biscuits?
Lana: Yep. I couldn't find anything to eat so I'm eating these and they are good.
Me: I ate these long ago when I was three and they were nasty.
Lana: It's not so bad.
Me: For you maybe, but not for me. But enjoy them.
I leave after getting a glass of water.
(Lana then begins eating all of the dog biscuits, she then lie on the floor with a full stomach, she rubs it and burps)
LANA: That was so good. (burps) Yeah.
FIVE MINUTES LATER
(Everyone else wakes up and head downstairs to the kitchen, they find Lana on the floor, with her stomach full)
LINCOLN: There you are, Lana. We was all looking for you.
(Lori then sees the empty box of dog biscuits next to her foot, she picks it up)
LORI: Lana, did you literally eat all these dog biscuits?
LANA: Yep, the whole box. I couldn't find anything to eat, so I tried one and they're really good.
(Lori shakes the whole box and it's nothing but crumbs)
LINCOLN: I was gonna make you all pancakes.
LANA: No need, I already eaten the dog biscuits, but your pancakes are so good, I'll guess I get them a go.
(Lana sits at the dinner table with the others and Lincoln serves them, including himself, each a stack of pancakes, they eat their breakfast)
Varie: Lincoln, your pancakes are always very good.
Lincoln: Thanks Varie.
Aylene: I agree. You make awesome breakfasts.
Laney: Yep. You make delicious food with love big brother.
TWENTY MINUTES LATER
(Everyone went upstairs to get dressed, Lana puts her hat on and comes out of her room and into Lori's room, Lori put her slip-on shoes on her feet)
LORI: Hey, Lana, what can I do for ya? - Lori ask
LANA: Can you drive me to the pet store real quick? - Lana ask
LORI: Sure, meet me outside near the van in 5 minutes. - Lori accepted
LANA: Thanks, Lori! - Lana said happily
(Later, in Vanzilla, Lori drives Lana to the pet store and she runs inside the store)
CLERK: What can I do for you, sweetie?
LANA: I need dog biscuits! I need them, now!
CLERK: Aisle 1, sweetie. (She frantically runs to the first aisle and grab a box of, none other than, dog biscuits. Lana put them on the counter and she give the clerk a $20, she gives Lana a receipt and she runs to the car, Lori looks at the bag)
LORI: Dog biscuits, it has to be dog biscuits.
(She then drives the two back home and Lana runs inside, she see Charles with his bowl empty, meaning he's hungry)
LANA: Sorry, Charles, these are for me.
(Charles winces in sadness, Lana felt sorry and gives the dog a box, she opens it and fills his bowl with dog biscuits)
LANA: Eat up, Charles. (Lana pets Charles on his head and leaves)
(In Lana's room, Lola walks in and see's crumbs all over her floor, she glares at Lana, who's eating a box of dog biscuits)
LOLA: Lana, what is the meaning of this?! I just vacuumed your floor!
LANA: Just having a little snack.
LOLA: Where the boxes at?
(Lola see's the empty boxes on Lana's bed. Enraged, Lola tackles Lana and Me, Laney and Lincoln see this and we run in there and break them up)
Me: All right you two that's enough!
Laney: What's going on here?
LINCOLN: Yeah! Why are you too are fighting?
LOLA: Lana got her stupid dog biscuits boxes all over her bed! And I just cleaned her room!
(We see's all the empty boxes)
Me: Holy Jars of Peanut Butter!
LINCOLN: How many boxes have you eaten?!
LANA: I dunno, maybe, two or three boxes.
(Lincoln and Lola glares at Lana)
LANA: Okay, seven boxes! Now, if you need me, (pulls out a newspaper) I need to tinkle!
(Lana zooms to the bathroom, Me, Varie, Laney, Lola and Lincoln stare at each other; It shows them cleaning up Lana's room, Lincoln is vacuuming the floor, as Lola is putting all the empty boxes in a waste bin)
The next scene shows me, Varie, Aylene, Laney and Lincoln cleaning Lola's Room.
LOLA: Thanks for helping me clean my room, guys.
Me: No problem my little princess.
LINCOLN: You're welcome, it's the least we can do.
Varie: I agree. I love helping out.
Laney: Anything for my Little Sis.
(Lola and Lincoln hug each other, they walk out of the room to see a trail of crumbs on the floor. Suspicious, We follow the trail downstairs and outside, we find the trail and it leads to the garage, we open it and find Lana eating another box of dog biscuits, we glare at her)
Varie: More Dog biscuits!?
Laney: Lana! Come On!
LOLA: Are you kidding me?! You need to stop this!
LANA: Hey, I love dog biscuits and that's that!
(Lana take her boxes and leaves in anger, Me, Varie, Aylene, Laney, Lola and Lincoln take the empty boxes and we throw them in the trash bin)
LOLA: Man, why won't she stop eating these?!
LINCOLN: It's Lana, Lola, she loves eating gross and/or weird things, she eats moldy pudding, but she refuses to eat a PB & Sauerkraut sandwich!
LOLA: (livid) I'm gonna do something about this!
LINCOLN: (put his hands on Lola) Calm down, Lola. Calm down. What's the worse that can happen?
A WEEK LATER
(A montage shows that a bunch of mishaps has happened with Lana's addiction to dog biscuits, Lincoln went to his room and reads a comic, he finds crumbs inside of his comic, as well the other comic books he has, he accidentally inhales and suck up the crumbs, leading him to cough and fall; Lori went downstairs to the living room to watch TV, she reaches for the remote, but it wasn't the remote, it was a wet dog biscuit, she jerks away in disgust, Leni, in her bathrobe, is about to take a shower, she pulls the curtains to find the bathtub full of dog biscuits, she was shocked and fainted. Luna is in her room, looking for a guitar pick, she finds an almost eaten dog biscuit, she sighs and ends up using it, but it cut her strings on her guitar, angering Luna. Gabrielle is enjoying a cup of English Tea and reading a book on rocks and minerals. She puts her cup down on a saucer and reaches for a cookie and when she bites into it she reviles in disgust and notices that it's a dog biscuit and spits it out. Outside, Luan, in her swimsuit, is sunbathing and Eddy is splashing around in the little pool Lincoln bought a while ago, Luan removes her sunglasses and lounges in the pool with Eddy, they found something in the water and they're dog biscuits in it, they ran in disgust. Lynn is in the kitchen looking for something to drink, she found the blender full of a brown drink, she shrugs and get a glass from the cabinet and pour the drink in it, she took a long sip and she was grossed out, she looks at the counter and found out that the drink is made of, you guessed it, dog biscuits, she holds her stomach, rushes to the bathroom and vomits in the toilet, Shannon is looking for a good spot to read her book on crime and she goes out to the back deck and sits on a patio chair and she feels something weird and she sees, you guessed it, dog biscuits, Linka is brushing her teeth in the bathroom and when she reaches for the toothpaste she grabs, you know it, a dog biscuit, she sees it and faints, Lucy is writing poems in her room, she finds dog biscuits on her books, she sighs in annoyance, Laney is reading books on the couch with Riley in her room (Laney's room is big enough) and she turns the page and finds crumbs all over it, Lola walks in her room and find, once again, many boxes of dog biscuits, this infuriates Lola into throwing the boxes out of the window, she then slip on one of the boxes and fall on the floor, Penny is playing with Teddy and her friend in her room and she finds that they are covered in dog biscuit crumbs, Lisa went to her room for some studying and she finds they're dog biscuits in each of her beakers, she kicks her chair over in anger and many boxes of dog biscuits fall on her. Lastly, Lily is looking for food for her fish friends and a snack for herself, she picks up the fish food and she finds something and starts biting on it, she found out it's a dog biscuit, she throws it away and reviles in disgust; In Lori and Carol's room, everyone sans Lana and Lincoln, are having a meeting)
Carol: I think we all know why we're here. Lana has eaten lots of dog biscuits and it's getting on our nerves.
LORI: This is literally a bad thing, Lana's addiction to dog biscuits has annoyed us, too far!
LENI: Is she turning to a dog?
Ed: Aw! Can we name her Lana? (Laughs)
Eddy: Shut up Ed.
LUNA: (facepalms) No, dude, Lana has been eating dog biscuits. She has an addiction.
LUAN: She doggone it!
(Me, Varie, Carol, Eddy and Luan laugh, as the others sigh in annoyance, Lincoln then walks into Lori and Carol's room)
LINCOLN: Sorry I was late you guys, I was changing my clothes because they had crumbs all over them.
(Lincoln then slips on a dog biscuit and fall on his back, he screams)
LINCOLN: Ah, dang it!
LYNN: Oh my gosh, are you alright?!
LINCOLN: Yeah, this dog biscuit made me fell.
LOLA: This has gone far enough! (Everyone marches to Lana's room, We kicked the door down to find Lana, who is very sick, Lincoln helps Lana on her feet)
LINCOLN: Lana, are you okay?!
Me: She doesn't looks so good.
LANA: I think I ate too much. (Stomach growls loudly) Oh no...
(She grabs a bucket and vomits in it. Lisa checks the label on the box for ingredients)
LYNN: What are in these things?
LISA: Well, there's Manganese Oxide, Bacon Fat, Wheat Bran, Folic Acid, and a bunch of other harmful ingredients. These are very bad for humans and their health.
Laney: Lana needs help fast!
LORI: Call 911, she needs help!
I go to the phone and call 911.
Operator: 911 what's your emergency?
Me: Hello we have a little girl sick from eating too many dog biscuits and we need an ambulance immediately.
Operator: (skeptical) A little girl ate dog biscuits? That's unusual.
Me: I agree, but we think she might be poisoned.
Operator: We're sending an ambulance over. What's the address?
Me: 1142 Harrington Ave.
Operator: The Knudson-Loud-Anderson Estate? They should be right there now.
Me: Thank you. Bye.
Sirens were heard and the EMT's came in with a gurney.
EMT 1: Where is she?
Me: This way. (I lead them to her room) Her name is Lana Loud and she is 6 years old and she ate numerous boxes of dog biscuits.
EMT 1: That's weird. This has happened before.
Me: Really? When was this?
EMT 1: It was 3 years ago. A kid had eaten a lot of boxes of dog biscuits and died from severe Manganese Oxide Poisoning.
Me: That's terrible.
We go into Lana's room and she was responsive and we lifted her onto the gurney and Lisa and Varie checked her with the EMT's.
(Later At the hospital, Lana, in a hospital gown, is in a hospital bed, she wakes up and sees Me, Laney, Varie, Lincoln and Lola)
LANA: J.D.? Varie? Laney? Lincoln? Lola? Where am I?
LOLA: You're at the hospital, Lana.
LINCOLN: You gotten sick from eating dog biscuits.
Laney: We're lucky we got you here in time.
Me: You got mild Manganese Oxide Intoxication. If we hadn't got you here in time, well... I don't even want to say it.
LANA: Oh, yeah. Guys, I'm sorry for my addiction. I don't know what came over me with those dog biscuits.
LOLA: We forgive you, Lola.
Laney: Me too Lana.
Me: It's not your fault Lana.
(Lola and Lincoln hugs Lana, Lincoln handed Lana a glass of water and she drinks it)
LANA: Thanks, I promise, no more dog biscuits.
LOLA: I'm proud of you, Lana.
LINCOLN: Me too.
Laney: Same here.
Me: The doctor said that you'll have to stay here for about a month to make sure that you're okay Lana.
Lana: That's okay.
(We hug Lana once more, she sips her water)
Varie: Get some rest okay?
Lana: I will Varie.
A MONTH LATER
(We are all watching TV in the living room, Lori walks in through the front door)
LORI: Hey guys, we have a visitor from the hospital.
LANA: (walks in) Hey guys. I'm back from the hospital.
LINCOLN: Lana!
(Lincoln runs to Lana and hugs her)
LINCOLN: It's good to have you back, Lana.
LANA: It's good to be back, Lincoln. C'mon, let's watch TV.
(Everyone watch TV)
LUNA: It's good to see you not eating dog biscuits, dudette.
LANA: Thanks, I'm gonna leave them to Charles. Speaking of Charles...
(Lana has a dog biscuit and toss it to Charles, he jumps and ate his treat, Lana rubs Charles' head and walk away)
Me: Glad you're back Lana.
LANA: Me too. I'm gonna get something from the kitchen, be right back.
LORI: Okay, Lana.
Lily: I'll come with you.
(Lana and Lily walk in the kitchen and to the fridge)
LANA: (to the viewers) I've learned my lesson, my addiction to dog biscuits can annoy my sisters and brother, but I've given up on it and now, I'm over dog biscuits.
Lily: That's great.
(Lana and Lily have a peanut butter and sauerkraut sandwich and Lana checks if no one is looking and she takes a bite of the sandwich)
LANA: That's so good.
LINCOLN: (walks in with his sandwich) Is it, Lana. I knew you like them.
Lily: Lincoln introduced me to this sandwich when I was still a baby before I got my powers.
Lana: I didn't know that Lily.
LANA, LILY AND LINCOLN: Cheers.
(They clink their sandwiches, Lana, Lily and Lincoln eat their sandwiches and they each burp, they share a laugh with each other)
THE END
AND NOW A SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM THE LOUD HOUSE
Me: Wasn't that a great episode everyone?
We all cheer.
Me: Now Addiction is never a good thing for everyone folks. Lots of people take lots of bad things and get addicted to it.
Lincoln: Smoking, Cocaine, Heroin, Meth, Alcohol, you name it. It's all very addicting and it can mess you up bad. Drugs and Alcohol can even land you in prison for a long time.
Laney: Addiction ruins your life, your family and even hurts your friends and neighbors.
Me: Addiction is not just a major problem, it's a disease. You have the power to stop using these things. If someone you know has a problem with addiction, tell them to get help fast. Remember to say "No" to drugs and all that.
Luna: That's right dudes.
Me: See you all next time.
Everyone: (Waves) Bye!
The Message was brought to you by the Foundation of Alcoholism Research, The United States Drug Enforcement Agency, and the National High Organization.
Another Fanfiction Completed.
I would like to thank Harburton81 for letting me use his fanfiction "An Antidote for Addiction." This was a great story he wrote. I did not eat dog biscuits in real life but they taste awful.
See you all next time.