[Lincoln is eating cereal and watching a commercial for a new one.]
Announcer: "Bored of the same old breakfast?"
Lincoln: [looks down at his cereal] "Yes..."
Announcer: "Then try Zombie Bran! The cereal that turns you into the walking fed!"
[A box of Zombie Bran appears on-screen and the kids in the commercial have turned into zombies from eating it.]
Zombie Girl: [zombie voice] "Braaaaan!"
Zombie Boy: [zombie voice] "Braaaaan! BRAAAAAN!"
Lincoln: [filled with desire] "Must...have...Zombie Bran!"
I slide down and I have someone with me.
Me: Hey Lincoln. I have someone I'd like you to meet. This is my friend Vince. He just moved here to the neighborhood and I'm showing him the ropes.
Vince: It's a pleasure to meet you Lincoln. I've heard so many big things about you and your family. My name is Vince Pusateri. I moved here from Missouri.
Lincoln: It's a pleasure to meet you Vince.
Me: Vince shares the same likes as your sisters and we have so much in common. Also show him what you can do.
Vince: Sure.
Vince places his hand on the floor and blood red Ruby Crystal Clusters grew out of the floor and became a beautiful crystal formation.
Lincoln: Vince that's amazing!
Me: Vince has Crystal Powers. He can grow any kind of mineral crystal with touch or his thoughts. And he can grow them on any surface or out of the air.
Lincoln: That's incredible!
Me: So whats been going on Lincoln?
Lincoln: I just saw this commercial for a new cereal called "Zombie Bran"! And it turns you into the Walking Fed!
Me: It sounds tasty and you want to ask Ms. Rita to get some.
Lincoln: Yep. Lets introduce you to mom and dad Vince.
Vince: Okay.
[In the kitchen, Rita is using a plunger to unclog the sink.]
Rita: "What on Earth is down here?"
Lincoln: "Mom, I'd like you to meet Vince. He just moved here.
Rita: It's a pleasure to meet you Vince. I'm Rita. Welcome to the neighborhood.
(Vince and Rita shake hands)
Vince: Thank you Mrs. Loud. You sure are very pretty.
Rita: (Blushes) Oh why thank you. You can call me Ms. Rita.
Vince: Okay.
Me: Vince has Crystal Powers.
Vince: Yep. Watch.
Vince held out his hand and a beautiful trillion cut Tanzanite gemstone the size of the palm of his hand appeared and it had a blue necklace chain.
Vince: For you.
Rita: This is beautiful! Tanzanite is one of my favorite gems.
Me: He has an amazing power. I think he was exposed to Cosmic Radiation like I was.
Vince: That's right J.D. I got my powers because of that.
Me: I was born 7 years after he was but that is truly amazing.
Rita: That's interesting. Vince how did you know that Tanzanite is one of my favorite gems?
Vince: I have a unique power called Aura Sight. It allows me to analyze what people like and feel through their spiritual aura.
Me: I've heard about that kind of power and that is a very powerful metaphysical ability.
Rita: That is really interesting.
Lincoln: That is so cool. Can we please get Zombie Bran cereal? "[cutely pleading] "Please please please please please please?"
Rita: "Sorry, sweetie. We've got a very tight budget. And by the time I get everything on my grocery list, there's no money leftover for treats."
[The grocery list is shown to be very long.]
Me: Boy that's a long grocery list.
Lincoln: "Hmm..." [gets an idea] "What if I could get everything on here and still have enough money leftover for Zombie Bran?"
Vince: That's a great idea Lincoln.
Me: I agree.
Rita: "You wanna do the shopping for me? I don't know, Lincoln. It's a big responsibility; I'm not sure you can handle it."
Lincoln: "I can, Mom! I promise!
Me: Yeah. And think of what you could do with all that time to yourself.
[Rita suddenly imagines herself at a spa where she has gotten a facial with cucumber slices covering her eyes, getting a massage and a manicure and enjoying a smoothie.]
Rita: "Mmm...ah, yes..."
[She belches upon sipping her smoothie and sighs with relief; end fantasy.]
Rita: "Deal. But just this once, okay?"
Lincoln: "YES!" [acts like a zombie] "Braaaaan...BRAAAAAN!"
[Rita finds the source of the clog in the sink, which is Luan's multiple handkerchief prop.]
Rita: "Oh, so that's it!" [pulls out all the handkerchiefs] "LUAN, NO MORE COMEDY PROPS IN THE SINK!"
[Lincoln is checking the shopping supplies.]
Lincoln: "Reusable bags, calculator, more reusable bags..."
[Enter Lori]
Lori: "Lincoln! I'm going shopping with you! Bobby literally just got a job as a stock boy."
[Starfire, Terra, Raven, Argent, Riley, Naruto, Sakura, Fu, Eddy and the rest of his sisters join in and wanna come along.]
Me: Oh guys, there's someone I want you all to meet. This is my friend Vince and he just moved here.
Vince: It's a pleasure to meet you all. Don't tell me. (To Lori) You must be Lori.
Lori: That's right.
Me: Lori's the Eldest of the Loud's Siblings and she has awesome Wind Powers.
Vince: I've heard about that.
Me: Show him Lori.
Lori spread her wings and had mini tornadoes in her hands.
Vince: That is so cool!
Vince saw Carol and was instantly smitten by her.
Vince: (Nervously) You must be Carol.
Carol was smitten by him.
Carol: (Nervously) That's right. It's a pleasure to meet you Vince.
Vince: Same here.
Me: I can tell that Cupid's Arrow struck and you two have feelings.
Vince: You're right J.D.
Me: Carol is one of the adopted siblings.
Carol: I'll tell you what happened when I can.
Vince: That's all right. You can tell me when you're ready.
Me: Carol has powers as well and she got them from Cosmic Radiation too.
Vince: Awesome! (To Leni) You must be Leni.
Leni: That's right.
Vince: I love your fashion designs. (Pulls out a magazine) I saw them in my favorite clothing magazine called the Fashion Enquirer.
Leni: Thank you. I am totes glad you love them!
Vince: Thank you. (To Luna) You must be Luna.
Luna: That's right dude.
Vince: I love your songs and (British Accent) MICK SWAGGER IS ROCKIN' LOVE!
Luna: (British Accent) RIGHT ON LOVE!
Me: I made a song for Luna for Christmas. I got to perform with Mick in order to make it.
Vince: I've heard about that. That was awesome dude! (To Ember) (Gasp) You're Ember McLain!
Ember: That's right.
Me: Ember was killed in a tragic fire over 40 years ago and she became a Rock & Roll Ghost.
Vince: That's what I heard. I love your song Remember.
Ember: Thanks man. I've been given a 2nd chance thanks to J.D.
Vince: That's awesome!
Me: Luna has Water Powers from The Sirens.
Luna: That's right. Watch.
Luna fires a ball of singing water at a bottle and it envelopes it in a ball of water and it emits a divine song.
Vince: That is so awesome! (To Gabrielle) You must be Gabrielle.
Gabrielle: (British Accent) That's right.
Vince: I've heard alot about your adventures and how you went into the Center of the Earth.
Gabrielle: That's right. It was an amazing adventure.
Vince: I can believe it. That must've been really cool. (To Luan) You must be Luan.
Luan: That's right. I can tell that you've been wanting to MEET me. (Rimshot) (Laughs) Get it?
Me, Vince, Starfire, Raven, Terra, Argent, Naruto, Sakura, Fu, Carol, Leni and Eddy Laugh and everyone else sighed.
Vince: Luan is so hilarious!
Me: Luan is a comedy genius. She literally can make anyone laugh.
Vince: I can believe it. What do you call a cow with no legs?
Luan: I don't know. What?
Vince: Ground Beef! [Rimshot]
We all laugh.
Me: (Laughs) Ground Beef! That was funny!
Raven: (Laughs) Ground Beef. That was a good one.
Luan: That one had lots of BEEF. [Rimshot] (Laughs) Get it?
Me, Vince, Starfire, Raven, Terra, Argent, Carol, Leni, Naruto, Sakura, Fu, Leni and Eddy laugh while everyone else sighed.
Me: (Laughs) That was a good one.
Raven: (Laughs) Lots of Beef. I just got it.
Me: Luan always cracks us up. She even has Light powers. It gave her a GLOWING PERSONALITY. [Rimshot]
We all laugh.
Vince: (Laughs) Good one!
Luan: (Laughs) Good One J.D. And yes I have Light powers. Watch.
Luan formed a Blue Bird of Paradise made of pure blue light in her hand. She released it and it became a message that said "Welcome Vince".
Vince: That is so cool!
Luan: Thanks.
Vince: You're welcome. (To Eddy) You must be Eddy.
Eddy: That's right. It's nice to meet you Vince.
Vince and Eddy shake hands and Vince got zapped.
Eddy: I know what buzzes you. (Laughs)
Eddy revealed a joy buzzer on his hand.
Vince: (Laughs) That's a classic!
Me: Luan and Eddy are Boyfriend and Girlfriend. They are known as the king and queen of comedy.
Vince: Oh wow.
Me: Eddy is one of our friends and he and Luan have their own birthday party comedy entertainment business called FUNNY BUSINESS. It's really successful.
Vince: That's so cool. (To Lynn) You must be Lynn.
Lynn: That's right. I'm the sports star of the family.
Vince: I play lots of sports. I play Basketball, Baseball, Football and Wrestling.
Lynn: Sweet! I play lots of sports.
Me: Lynn has lots of energy and strength. She wants to master every sport you can think of. She even has Earth Powers.
Lynn: Yep. Watch.
Lynn caused a wave of lava to hit the fireplace and she lit it.
Vince: That is so awesome!
Me: Whoo! (Sweating) The heat from that was intense.
Lynn: Sorry.
Vince: No kidding. But that was amazing. (To Shannon) You must be Shannon.
Shannon: That's right. I'm a former member of the Black Daffodil Gang.
Me: Shannon became a member of the Black Daffodil to get revenge on her parents. They were nasty Serial Killers that lived in the Chicago Projects.
Vince: Oh man. That's horrible. I'm sorry that happened to you.
Shannon: It's okay. It's all water under the bridge.
Me: We adopted her after we took down the Black Daffodil Gang.
Lynn: And it was the day I got my powers.
Vince: That is cool! (To Linka) You must be Linka.
Linka: That's right. I'm Lincoln's female counterpart from a parallel universe.
Me: Linka came from a Flipped Gender Universe and she had 11 brothers. They got into a nasty DEFCON 1 fight and threw her into our dimension.
Vince: That's weird but interesting.
Lincoln: Linka is now my Twin Sister in dimensional terms.
Vince: Wow. I was gonna say you two look like identical twins.
Me: That's cool huh? Gabrielle, Lincoln and Linka have Lightning Powers. Show him.
Gabrielle, Lincoln & Linka have lightning arch in their hands
Vince: That is so cool! (To Lucy) You must be Lucy.
Lucy: That's correct.
Me: Lucy is the goth girl of the family. She loves Vampires, bats and darkness. She has her own funeral service called Lucy's Lament. People find her to be spooky. No offense Lucy.
Lucy: None taken J.D. I also like poetry.
Vince: I like writing poems too. I'm a bit of a lover of darkness myself.
Lucy: That's interesting.
Vince: I also heard that you fought the spirit of an insane priest in Chicago.
Lucy: That's correct.
Me: She killed the spirit of Reverend Henry Kane. He was an insane 19th Century Satanic Cult Leader that wanted to destroy the world. He was after a young girl named Carol Anne Freeling and he died and was going to destroy the Afterlife.
Vince: That is pure madness!
Lucy: I used my powers of Darkness and destroyed him. Watch.
Lucy fired a bolt of black lightning at a chair and it exploded into sawdust.
Vince: That is awesome!
Me: Lucy has the power to kill spirits but she told me that it was only if they deserve it.
Vince: Interesting. (to Riley) You must be Riley Anderson.
Riley: Yes I am.
Me: We met Riley in Minnesota when we found out she ran away from San Francisco.
Vince: I've heard about that.
Riley: Yeah but that's behind me now. Also I have plant powers. Watch.
Riley grew a cherry tree outside in the front yard.
Vince: That is so awesome!
Me: Riley got her powers when she watched a fight with Laney and a kid we all despised.
Vince: That's interesting. (To Anastasia) You must be Anastasia.
Anastasia: That's right.
Lori: I helped Anastasia during the February Revolution back in 1917. We both fought against Grigori Rasputin and destroyed him and avenged the Tsarhood.
Vince: That's amazing. But that was back 100 years ago.
Me: Yes it was 100 years ago this year. But we have our own Simulator that takes us to different places across the very fabric of the Space-Time Continuum.
Vince: That is really cool! Also from what I remember the disappearence of Anastasia Nikolaevna was one of the greatest mysteries of the early 20th Century.
Me: Yes. It was.
Vince: Awesome!
Anastasia: I am the Grand Duchess and Daughter of Tsar Nicholas II of Russia and my family was destroyed by Grigori Rasputin.
Vince: That's amazing! I've heard of Rasputin. He was said to have started the Soviet Union back in 1920.
Me: Yes. He was one of the people that helped start it and he also helped Russia go into the age of Communism.
Vince: That's wrong on so many levels.
Lori: I agree. So I adopted Anastasia as my little sister.
Vince: That's very noble Lori. (To Laney) You must be Laney.
Laney: Yes.
Vince: It's a pleasure. I heard you have awesome plant powers.
Laney: I sure do.
Laney grew a bush that grows meat.
Vince: That is awesome!
Me: A bush that can grow meat? That is weird but cool.
Eddy: That is so cool Laney. This also brings back some memories. Back when I lived in Peach Creek, Rolf took my stuff for a fake money tree and I tried to trick him in the same way with something like this.
Laney: That is too coincidental Eddy.
Me: And he didn't fall for it I'll bet.
Eddy. Yep.
Vince: It sounds like it. I also heard that you killed a terroristic kid here.
Laney: Yes I did.
Me: His name was Chandler Henderson. He once went to Royal Woods Elementary and he was a total lunatic. He bullied Laney a while back and Laney stood up to him with some encouragement from Varie and she fought him and won.
Lucy: He also told us that he planned to burn down the whole school and frame J.D. for the crime.
Me: Yeah. He was a terrorist in the making.
Lincoln: He also busted out of an insane asylum in the western side of the state and Laney fought him and she killed him.
Me: Chandler made a deal with the Devil and he sold his soul for the power to destroy Laney. He had this evil amulet and Laney crushed it and killed him.
Vince: That's horrible!
Laney: Yeah. But I'm over it now.
Vince: Laney I'm so sorry that happened to you.
Laney: It's okay Vince. But thank you.
Vince: You're welcome. (To Lana and Lola) You must be the twins Lana & Lola.
Lana: That's right. I'm Lana and I'm the handyman of the family. (Hands Vince a business card) I do toilets, sinks, showers, electrical wiring and automobiles.
Me: When it comes to the houses internal and external plumbing, Lana can fix it. She is the oldest twin and she has a love for animals.
Lana: Yep. Yo Hops, El Diablo! Come on down here!
Hops and El Diablo came down. Hops landed on Lana's hat.
Lana: This is Hops.
Vince: It's nice to meet you Hops.
High Fives Vince with his tongue.
El Diablo slithered down the stairs and wrapped around Vince and nuzzled his left cheek.
Lana: Aww. El Diablo likes you.
Vince: I love snakes. El Diablo is a nice snake.
Lana: Yep. You two go back to my room now okay?
They went back to Lana's room.
Me: Lana also has Ice Powers.
Lana: Yep. Watch.
Lana fires a beam of Ice Lightning and she formed an ice sculpture in the shape of The Burj Khalifa in Dubai.
Vince: That is so awesome! I love that building the Burj Khalifa.
Me: It's the tallest building in the world. 2800 feet high.
Lana: Yep. I'm also a user of Magiswords. Check it out.
Lana spins her bracelet and pulls out a Magisword.
Announcer: CHEESE MAGISWORD!
Lana: What do you think Vince?
Vince: That is so cool!
Me: Magiswords are awesome. There are so many different kinds of Magiswords and they have lots of amazing shapes and powers.
Lana: Check it out. Cheddar!
Lana formed a wedge of Cheddar Cheese in her hand.
Vince: Cheddar Cheese. My favorite.
Lana gives it to Vince.
Vince: Thanks. (Eats the Cheese) Delicious. (To Lola) You must be the princess Lola.
Lola: That's right. I'm the youngest twin. I compete in beauty pageants and I do tea partie's and photoshoots.
Vince: I can tell. From what I've heard you have a lot of talent.
Lola: Yep.
Me: Lola is the Ultimate Beauty Pageant Princess Queen and she is loaded with skill. Lola also has fire powers.
Lola: That's right. Watch.
Lola forms a fireball in her hand and shoots it at the fireplace and lights the ashes in it.
Vince: That is awesome! Lana & Lola the twins of Fire & Ice. That's perfect for you two.
Me: I was thinking exactly the same thing.
Lana: We get that alot around here.
Lola: It's perfect for our personalities.
Me: Just a forewarning Vince, never and I mean EVER call Lola U-G-L-Y. It's taboo for her. She put a kid in the hospital because of it.
Vince: Oh man. I know taboo words.
Lola: Yeah. Thank you for warning him J.D.
Me: You're welcome Lola.
Vince: Thank you for warning me J.D. (To Lisa) You must be Lisa the genius.
Lisa: Correct. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance Vince.
Me: Lisa is the scientist of the Loud Siblings. She has a PhD, a Junior Nobel Prize and is a great inventor. She is trying to invent awesome ways to further benefit all of mankind.
Vince: That is awesome. Have you invented cold fusion and warp drive?
Lisa: Affirmative. Cold fusion was technically the easiest thing for me to invent and my prototype warp drive engine is still in the development stages.
Vince: That is cool.
Me: Lisa also has Technokinetic powers. She can create all kinds of machines with the power of her mind.
Lisa: Yes I do. Care for a demonstration?
Vince: Sure.
Lisa gathered some spare junk and turned it into a ray gun.
Lisa: This is a crystal transmorgifying ray. It can turn any object into any mineral or crystal. Just set it to that particular mineral and...
Lisa turned a dial and fired it at a stool and it became a stool made entirely out of pure emerald crystal.
Lisa: Success!
Vince: That is so cool!
Lisa: Indeed.
Me: That was awesome and they do say that Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend. Right Lori?
Lori: True to that.
Vince: I can believe it. (To Lily) And you must be the youngest, Lily.
Lily: That's right. I became a 10-year-old because of the Glowing Water of Coventina.
Vince: That's cool.
Me: Most of the Loud Siblings were given their powers because of deities from myths all over the world.
Vince: That's interesting.
Lily: Yeah. That's what astounded me too. Watch.
Lily fired a ball of glowing blue water and it went into a plant pot and watered the plant.
Vince: That is so cool!
Me: It was a complete surprise for us when Lily became a 10-year-old. Biologically she's 15 months old.
Vince: That's cool and unusual. I have powers too. Watch.
Vince grew a sapphire crystal cluster from the floor and it was sparkling.
Lori: That is amazing!
Lynn: You have Crystal Powers!? That is sweet!
Me: Vince got his power because of Cosmic Radiation as well. But he got his powers 22 years ago.
Vince: Yeah. (To Naruto) You must be the famous Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze.
Naruto: That's right. It's a pleasure to meet you.
Vince: Same here.
Naruto: I'm a ninja from the Hidden Leaf Village. We have a different fightning style than the ninjas of feudal Japan in the 17th Century.
Me: Naruto's my adopted little brother. He has a very dark background. But the shinobi lifestyle the Leaf uses a powerful energy called Chakra and it's what they use in their techniques. Watch.
I stand in position and form a sword made of pure lightning that was chirping.
Me: LIGHTNING STYLE: CHIDORI LONGSWORD! What do you think?
Vince: That is awesome!
Lincoln: Me, Linka, and Laney are shinobi too Vince.
Vince: That is cool. (To Sakura) You must be Sakura Haruno.
Sakura: That's right. It's a pleasure to meet you Vince.
Vince: Same here. You're hair is very pretty and it goes perfect with your namesake: Cherry Blossom.
Sakura: Thank you Vince.
Vince: You're welcome: (To Fu) You must be Fu.
Fu: That's right. I don't have a last name. It's a pleasure to meet you Vince.
Vince: Same here. (Sees Starfire, Raven, Terra and Argent) No way! Starfire, Raven, Terra and Argent!? Awesome! You're some of my favorite superheroes.
Starfire: I'm glad we have a fan.
Raven: It's a pleasure to meet you Vince. That joke was a funny one.
Luan: Raven likes our jokes.
Vince: I can believe it.
Terra: It's a pleasure to meet you Vince. I can tell we're gonna be really good friends.
Argent: Same here.
Vince: I can tell.
Lincoln: "Anyway. Sorry, guys. I'm a man on a mission and you'll just get in my way."
Laney: I'll help you shop Lincoln.
Lynn: "Yeah. Us too!"
[The others agree with Lynn; Lincoln takes a look at the long list.]
Lincoln: "Okay, fine. I guess I could use a little help."
Sisters: "YAY!"
[The Loud's arrive at Super Mart.]
Rita: "Alright, Lincoln. Here's the list, and here's exactly $500." [gives him the list and money; excited] "I'll be back in an hour! I'm off to get my first pedicure in 17 years!"
Me: Bye Ms. Rita.
[Lincoln enters the store, and there's a sign promoting Zombie Bran.]
Lincoln: "You will be mine." [his sisters enter] "Ready, guys?"
[Enter the manager]
Manager: "Whoa, whoa! What do you hooligans think you're doing?"
Lincoln: "We're shopping for our mom, sir."
I start looking at the manager and I see something familiar about him.
Me: (In my head) I've seen this guy before. But where?
Lori: [notices Bobby and gasps] "Bobby Boo-Boo Bear!"
[Bobby is stocking paper towel rolls.]
Bobby: "Babe!"
[They hug]
Laney: I don't believe this, he works here now?
Lori: "I love a man in uniform!"
Bobby: "It's okay, boss. I know them."
Manager: [hostilely] "Very reassuring, Boo-Boo Bear. [checks their list] "Huh...eggs, milk...okay, okay. Looks legit." [threateningly] "But any monkey business, and you're all out on your keisters!" [leaves]
I glare at him.
Me: Bobby amigo!
Bobby: J.D. compadre! What's up man?
Me: We're here to shop for the family.
Bobby: Cool man. Well I have to get back to work.
Me: Okay. Oh! Bobby this is my new friend Vince. He just moved here. Vince this is Bobby Santiago, Lori's boyfriend.
Vince: It's a pleasure to meet you Bobby.
Bobby: Pleasure to meet you too amigo. Welcome to Royal Woods.
Vince: Thank you.
Lincoln: "Alright, guys, you heard him! You all have to be on your best behavior! Now, if we each take a section of Mom's list-"
[The girls run over him and go off into different sections of the store.]
Lincoln: "I should have known...I've been played..."
Laney: Don't worry Lincoln, I'll keep them under control. You just complete that list.
Lincoln: I can always count on you Laney. [Laney runs after her sisters]
[The list reads for eggs that are not cracked, milk that's not spoiled, instant noodles, onions and potatoes.]
Lincoln: "I've got $500. I just need a way to save $4." [finds a dented can of tomato sauce.] "Ooh! 10 cents off the dented one! A couple more savings like this and I'll have enough for my Zombie Bran!"
[Lynn is speeding on a shopping cart.]
Lynn: "YIPPEE-KI-YEE, MARKET SHOPPERS! YAYAYAYAYAYA-WOO!" [runs into and picks up Lincoln.]
Lincoln: "Lynn!" [Looks at Laney from inside the cart] Laney! I thought you were watching over our sisters!
Laney: Uhh... minor setback?
Lincoln: [notices the manager polishing a chicken rotisserie and gasps.] "Eject! EJECT!"
[The cart goes wheeling by and the manager goes after it; Lynn has landed in the marshmallow bin.]
Lynn: "Ah, nice! Ha ha! Soft landing."
[Lincoln has landed in the pineapple box.]
Lincoln: "Ugh. Maybe for you."
[A kid who looks eerily identical to Lincoln with bleach blonde hair, an orange shirt, blue jeans and a white beanie notices him and laughs at his painful landing.]
Laney: (In her head) Is it my imagination or does that kid look a lot like Lincoln?
Me: (To the kid) What are you laughing at?
[The kid ran and Me, Vince, Laney and Lincoln continue shopping]
Laney: Maybe it's safer if I just help you with your shopping. We'll keep down our crazy sisters that way.
Lincoln: Good idea Laney. [finds out he still has a pineapple on the seat of his pants and pulls it out, leaving some painful aftershocks.] "YEOWCH!" [tosses pineapple away and checks the list.] "Okay. Where were we? Milk." [In the dairy section, Luan is juggling eggs.]
Luan: "Step right up, folks, to see some eggs-cellent juggling!" [laughs] "Get it?"
Me: (Laughs) Good one Luan.
Vince: That's something made EGG-citing! [Rimshot]
Luan: (Laughs) Good one. [drops the eggs on a passing customer.] "Whoops! Oh, looks like the yolk's on you! [laughs again]
Me: Sorry sir. (Snaps fingers and the eggs are all fixed)
Customer: Hey that was cool. Thanks kid.
Me: You're welcome.
Vince: I didn't know you could do stuff like that with just a snap of your fingers.
Me: Cosmic Radiation gave me omnipotent powers. It's effects are completely unpredictable.
Vince: I can believe it.
Lincoln: "Luan! Cut it out!" [we notice the manager checking inventory.] [Now Luan is balancing eggs on her head.]
Luan: "Whoa! How's this for a balanced breakfast?" [laughs some more]
Me: (Laughs) That is part of balanced breakfast. No Yolks about it. [Rimshot]
Luan: (Laughs) Good one.
[Lincoln grabs her and the manager slips on the egg yolks and lands on the pineapple Lincoln disposed of.]
Manager: "YEOWCH! WHO DID THIS?!" [looks around] "We've got a hooligan in our midst... and they will pay with their lives. (Shows a gun in his pants pocket)"
I suddenly remember who the manager was.
Me: (Gasp) Oh no. This store is in grave danger.
Vince: Why do you say that?
Me: That manager right there. He's known as the Holligan Killer. He's wanted by the FBI as one of the most notorious serial killers in the country. He's wanted in connection with the murders of 40 people in 5 states.
Lincoln: Are you serious J.D.?
Me: I sure am.
I pull out an FBI wanted poster and show it Lincoln, Luan, Laney and Vince.
Me: His name is Cain Torres. He's an escaped prisoner that broke out of San Quentin Prison in California. He was convicted of 20 previous murders and was on Death Row.
Lincoln: That's crazy!
Luan: So we've got an escaped Death Row Inmate in the store?
?: That's right.
We see a man dressed in a trench coat and a fedora hat.
Me: And you are?
?: My name is Abel Torres and Cain Torres is my brother.
Me: Cain and Abel Torres? This is like something out of the Bible.
Vince: It feels that way huh? Abel, why is your brother killing so many people?
Abel: Jealousy. I became a famous author. He wanted to become a chef but failed. So he became a serial killer to make our family suffer.
Laney: That's terrible. We have to stop him.
Me: And we will. Vince, you call the police. We'll evacuate the store.
Vince: You got it. (Gets his cell phone)
Me: Lincoln you get everyone and tell them what's going on.
Lincoln: Right.
Me, Laney and Abel run to a checkout clerk.
Me: Miss you have to evacuate the store immediately. We have an escaped Death Row Inmate here posing as the manager. Look.
I show her the wanted poster and she gasped and sounded the alarm.
Clerk: (On the P.A.) ATTENTION SHOPPERS WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY SITUATION HERE! EVACUATE THE STORE IMMEDIATELY!
We regrouped.
Me: All right everyone we've got a fight on our hands. Lets get him.
Cain: Come on out you holligan! So I can kill you.
Me: How about you die first Cain!?
Cain: J.D. Knudson. So you figured me out.
Me: Yes I did and we're gonna stop you.
Abel came out.
Cain: Abel?
Abel: Yes Cain. You have to go back to prison so you can face justice here and with God.
Cain: Never! You ruined everything for me Abel! It's because of you that I failed to become a chef and I became a serial killer! I HATE YOU ALL MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF!
My aura flared up to such an extreme intensity.
Me: It's over Cain.
I get on one knee and prayed to God in Hebrew.
אלוהים אדירים, יש לנו אדם שברח בשם קין טורס והוא הרג ארבעים אנשים. אנחנו הולכים לעצור אותו ואתה יכול בבקשה לסמן אותו עם סימן זהה שנתת קין בספר שלך טוב? זה להראות שהוא ננטש לנצח.
Translation: Dear God, we have a man that escaped named Cain Torres and he killed forty people. We are going to stop him and can you please mark him with the same mark you gave Cain in your good book? It's to show that he is forever forsaken.
Cain suddenly got struck by lightning and he got up and he had a red mark emblazened in the middle of his forehead. It was in the shape of a tree.
Me: So that's the infamous Mark of Cain. It's fitting for you Cain Torres.
Vince: He's now forever forsaken.
Lincoln: And the only place for him is the Netherworld.
Laney: Yep.
Me: This mark is your curse Cain. Just like in the Bible, you can't be killed and whoever does so shall invoke the Wrath of God 7-fold.
Lori: If I were you I would turn yourself in.
Cain: Never! I will kill you all!
I punched him in the face and knocked the gun he had out of his hand and grabbed it and put it in my pocket.
Lincoln fired a blast of lightning and it electrocuted him.
But he was far from done and Laney wrapped him in plant vines and slammed him through the floor.
Cain got up and he was enraged. He put on some knuckledusters and I did the same and I punched him in the stomach. I have them on both my hands and Cain has the same. We let loose a flurry of ferocious fisticuffs and sparks were flying all over the store and setting everything on fire. Explosions blasted through the ceiling and parts of the roof collapsed. Lola fired a ball of fire and burning Cain's leg. Gabrielle fired a bolt of lightning and electrocuted him. Explosions rang out and destroyed everything in their path and fire broke out everywhere.
Laney: This whole place is gonna blow! Lets grab Cain and get out of here!
Me: Right!
Laney wrapped him in bramble vines and we all ran and got out of the store just in time as the whole store exploded into a raging fireball.
KRABBOOMM!
Me: Whoa! That was a close one.
Vince: Whoo yeah! That was an awesome blast!
Lori: You said it.
The Police cars were there and they arrested Cain without incident.
Me: You're gonna pay for your crimes Cain.
Cain: I HATE YOU J.D.!
Me: Eat my shorts and drop dead!
Vince: Yeah! Remember this: No matter what you do for your last few days of life you'll always be garbage!
Me: Well said Vince. (To the officers) Get him outta here.
They took him away.
Officer Paul: Nice work J.D. We've been after Cain for 10 years.
Me: I can't believe he was able to elude you all for so long. He should be executed immediately after he gets back to California.
Officer Paul: You're right about that.
?: J.D. Knudson?
Me: Yes.
?: Agent Waco, FBI. Great job in catching Cain for us. He's the 584th fugitive on the FBI's top ten Most Wanted Fugitives list.
Me: Glad to help out.
Later we went to a different supermarket and got all of our groceries. Turns out Cain had a bounty of $50 Million on his head and it was given to the Loud Family.
We pick out lots of groceries and more.
Me: So Vince what did you think of all this?
Vince: It was awesome dude! I have a feeling we're gonna be awesome friends and partners.
Lincoln: That's great!
Vince: I'm also planning on taking Carol on a date.
Me: I had a feeling you were.
Back at the Loud House, Carol was coming down dressed in a beautiful purple dress and she had beautiful jewelry on.
Vince: Carol you look amazing.
Carol: Thank you Vince.
Me: Have a fun time you two.
2 Hours later Vince and Carol came back.
Carol: I had a really awesome time with you Vince. You are a very sweet man.
Vince: Thanks Carol. You're sweet and beautiful. You also can dance really well.
Carol: Thank you.
Me: How did it go you two?
Vince: It was awesome. Carol and me are now boyfriend and girlfriend.
Me: Way to go guys!
Lori: I'm so happy for you Carol.
Carol: Thanks Lori.
Vince: I've got to get home. See you on our next adventure J.D.
Me: Will do partner.
Vince went home and we all turned in for the night. Cain Torres death sentence was commuted to 40 Life Sentences With No Hope for Parole. He was transfered to the Lake Vostok Triple Supermax Prison where he now works in making doilies. He was forever cursed by me with a fate worse than death: Eternal Life Without Eternal Youth. This curse will be with him until his 40 Life terms are done.
THE END.
Another Fanfiction complete.
I asked VinJedi1995 if he wanted to be part of my stories and he said yes. I am so glad he's in my stories and it's gonna be awesome. Welcome aboard my man. Also I did not like that manager and I decided to add an FBI style flare to the episode. Anyway let me know what you all think.
See you all next time.