Chapter 13: My Obstinate Headstrong Girl
AKA: Trying to get used to the new normal

Falling in love with you

Wasn't a grand gesture.

It was listening to you laugh

And knowing I wanted

To hear that sound everyday.

We enjoyed our last hours under Georgia's intense sunlight, playing in the water for a while and then drying on the sand as we chatted with Carla and Bob. We had quick separate showers to rinse off the salty water and then I drove us to the airport, where Taylor and Stephan were waiting for us.

We spent most of the flight back fucking like rabbits and making use of the other toys I had packed: the nipple clamps and the paddled handcuffs. Anastasia kept respecting my limits, although I was dying of curiosity about how her hands could feel against my skin as we had sex in bed.

It was barely nine p.m. by the time we arrived in Seattle, but already midnight in Savannah, and we were exhausted. After a quick dinner served to us by Gail, we went to bed. The moment we'd stepped out of the kitchen, Taylor was all over his girlfriend, fretting over her wellbeing.

Anastasia looked surprised by Taylor's clear affection, raising both eyebrows as she looked at me. My lack of reaction seemed to shock her further, especially once I'd told her they'd been together for a while. She seemed astonished that, unlike most employers would, I didn't mind my CPO and housekeeper were together.

"As if I could be one to judge what people do with their private lives," I commented with a playful grin as we got ready for bed.

We were asleep before our heads could touch our pillows.

We both woke up early the next morning, soon after dawn. I couldn't possibly say we rose with the sun as it was cloudy outside. Nonetheless, we went for a run, and after ten minutes it got so overcast the sky looked dark grey. We decided to turn back to Escala then, but we were still a few blocks away when the sky opened up.

I kept my focus on Anastasia as we ran under the rain, not trusting her feet on the slippery sidewalks. She did skid on four different occasions, but I caught her every time.

I hurried us into my bathroom as soon as we were back home. It wouldn't do us any service to remain wet for longer than necessary, even if Anastasia looked lovely with her translucent t-shirt clinging to her body. I opened the faucet to fill the bathtub with warm water, adding some vanilla-scented soap. Then, I helped Anastasia out of her clothes, not only out of pleasure but also because she seemed to be stuck in them. My eyes stayed on her body as I undressed. She was slightly tan from her vacations and I could never grow bored of her smooth curves.

Suddenly, the lovely sight of her breasts was hidden from my eyes as Anastasia covered her chest with her arms. I frowned at them before looking at her face with reproach, only to notice she was freezing, shivering under my care! I took a step forward and enfolded her chilled body in my arms, trying to share my warmth as the bathtub kept filling. I rubbed her frozen skin vigorously, hating how cold her skin felt against mine. It brought back horrible memories of a young brunette lying for days on a dirty rug and my young stomach hurting from the hunger before we were found by the cops—before I was rescued by the Greys.

As soon as the water level was high enough, I turned off the faucet and helped Anastasia into the tub. I climbed in behind her and pulled her back into my arms so that my chest was now pressed against her back. This kind of touch had never bothered me, as it were the hands in particular the ones that awoke my haphephobia, so I allowed myself the pleasure of feeling her naked skin against mine.

Anastasia wiggled her ass against my hardening cock and giggled at my conundrum. She was quite the tease.

"Anastasia," I scolded her as I held her hips tightly, trying to keep her still. "I thought you were tired after our run."

"I'm never too tired to have you, Sir," she whispered seductively.

"Is that so?" I asked, brushing her neck with my lips. She tilted her head, giving me easier access, and I scattered kisses all over her lovely skin.

My sweet, beautiful girl.

She whimpered softly, trying to keep quiet, but I wanted to hear what I did to her.

I increased the intensity, caressing her belly and her breasts. Still, she didn't lose control, keeping the volume to a minimum.

Alas, even if she was a terrible Sub for my standards, she did have her good moments.

"Let me hear you," I ordered, whispering huskily behind her ear, my breathing hot against that spot I knew to drive her mad.

I pinched her right nipple and she complied, moaning loudly and pressing her body further against mine. She started rubbing her ass against my hard dick, asking for more.

I hooked my ankles between hers and opened my legs, separating hers too. Anastasia lay her thighs flush against mine, complying with my silent wish.

My right hand abandoned her breast, travelling south. As soon as my fingers found her clit, Anastasia grabbed onto my right shoulder tightly, as if ordering me to stay there and keep pleasing her. Her left hand reached for the edge of the bathtub and gripped it just as firmly.

"So wet," I whispered as I rubbed her engorged clit. Anastasia's panting grew more intense. She lay down her head against my left shoulder and I noticed her eyes were closed with pleasure.

My left hand also found her pussy. I slid first one and then two fingers inside her tight warm core. I found her g-spot instantly and focused my energy there as she moaned and whimpered.

"Christian," she meowed against my ear.

"That's it, beautiful. You feel so good. Are you close, my Kitty?"

"Yes. Yes! Oh!" she exclaimed as my fingers began moving faster and my lips returned to the skin of her neck. A few minutes later, she came all over my hand as she screamed my name.

She definitively wasn't cold anymore. What a pleasant and effective way to warm up my girl.

I grabbed my sponge, purred some of the vanilla-scented soap on it, and began washing her arms as she remained melted against my chest. Her breathing slowed down as I worked on her shoulder, torso and legs. Finally, I cleaned her pussy, wanting to be thorough and take good care of my girl—craving the intimacy. She pulled back at first, when I brushed my fingers against her sensitive clit, but relaxed when my touch didn't turn sexual.

"Let me wash your back," I whispered as I coaxed her body away from mine. She complained like an angry kitten as she bent forwards. I poured some soap into my own hands and rubbed her skin softly before massaging her back for a few minutes.

As soon as I'd finished rinsing her back, she turned around and grabbed the sponge and soap.

I'd bathed my Subs countless times before, but I'd never let them return the favour.

Of course, Anastasia wasn't my Sub and she hadn't been so for weeks. By that day, we'd known each other for exactly eight weeks and we had spent several more hours together as friends with benefits than as Dominant and Submissive.

Thus, I didn't even think of refusing as Anastasia started washing my legs with the soapy sponge, playing it safe. As soon as she was done with them, she got side-tracked and reached for my painfully hard dick. I got lost in her touch for a few seconds before stopping her.

"Not now, Anastasia. Hurry so I can take you in my bed."

She bit her lip seductively and reached for my left hand. She washed my arm and shoulder intently before repeating the action in my right arm. As soon as she was done with them, she began to rinse them.

I had been hoping…

I grabbed her hands tentatively and said, "You missed a spot," as I gestured at my chest with my eyes.

"Are you sure?" she whispered.

"Yes. But just with the sponge."

"Just with the sponge," she swore.

She poured more soap into the sponge and reached out slowly to wash my chest. I tensed instinctually the moment the sponge touched my chest, but knowing it was coming I was able to force myself to stay in place. As she kept washing my skin and the darkness didn't even stir, I relaxed.

She was my angel, and she didn't only keep my nightmares away, but all of the darkness that had been my unwanted companion my whole life.

She watched her every move carefully, as if terrified to touch me—to hurt me.

Once she was done, I submerged myself under the now bubbles-less water to rinse myself quickly.

I took a deep breath and decided to take a leap of faith.

I turned around in the tub, the water swashing around us.

"Now the back," I whispered.

A few seconds later the sponge brushed my back as Anastasia washed my skin softly, taking away not only the sweat but also some of the pain that had been inflicted on me all those years ago. She was as thorough as with my chest albeit quicker, probably because I reminded tense all through the life-changing process.

"Done," she whispered as soon as she'd rinsed my back, right before kissing my bicep.

I turned sideways then, with a small smile on my lips. I was proud of both of us.

I looked at Anastasia, only to realize her eyes were glistening and there were a few tears on her cheeks.

"Hey! Don't cry," I said as I reached out to wipe away her tears. "Shh, Ana, it's okay," I whispered soothingly.

"Sorry."

"There's nothing for you to be sorry about," I insisted, turning to face her completely.

Her eyes went over my torso.

"At least let me say I'm sorry for ruining the mood," she joked weakly as she looked pointedly under the water, towards the general area of my currently flaccid dick.

I chuckled. "You know it's only a matter of time before we're ready to take each other again, Anastasia. Now let me wash your hair."

Because it was a Saturday, Gail had gone to visit her sister, and so it was up to Anastasia and me to arrange breakfast. As it had become our usual—our pleasant new normal—I made my coffee and Anastasia's tea, while she cooked.

Anastasia winced slightly as she sat down on the high stool in front of her plate of omelettes, and I couldn't hide my smirk. I had fucked my girl thoroughly.

Her pussy had the morning off as I had a pile of work to do. I had to make up for all the hours spent with Anastasia during the week. I was so focused on my work I was shocked when Anastasia showed up at my home office's door to inform me lunch was ready.

I was done for the day, so after eating a rather filling lunch I let Anastasia convince me to watch two episodes of Friends as we digested. After those forty minutes, I'd grown restless though, and I instructed Anastasia to go and wait for me upstairs.

We spent most of the afternoon locked in my playroom, panting, moaning, screaming, whimpering and calling out each other's name; groping, kissing, caressing and coming together as one.

It was clear Anastasia was exhausted by the time I was done with her, so I ordered us a nice dinner—partly to show her I could indeed treat her with a fancy meal without expecting anything in return, and partly because I wanted to spoil my girl.

Indeed, I didn't even get sex in return, as Anastasia was too exhausted. Instead, we cuddled through the night in my bed. This had also become our new normal, although a month ago it hadn't been part of the realm of possibilities. Naturally, I slept peacefully that night, with my angel keeping away the nightmares.

Sunday morning, I had a rather warm and wet wake-up call. I arose from a tantalizing dream to find Anastasia lying between my legs, my hard cock in her mouth. When I tried to return the favour she slapped my hands away and informed me in a rather firm manner she was out of commission for the day.

Damn.

Who would have thought there was a drawback to too much sex? This wouldn't have happened if we hadn't fucked during the week.

We still had a pleasant day. I rekindled my attempt to teach Anastasia poker, and once I was worried either her frustration or mine would lead to a fight, I suggested we did something else.

I let Anastasia roam through my small collection of board games. She rejected the chess and checkers sets—the first having been a gift from my grandfather Theodore and the seconds from my parents, both equally ornate—as well as Monopoly—a present from Ros and Gwen—but did raise both eyebrows with appreciation once she found an old gag gift from my brother: Sexionary. Thus we found ourselves playing for nearly two hours. Unsurprisingly, we both had a one-track mind and rarely guessed the most innocent words of the game. I had a great time—and with my clothes on, although this fact was getting less novel the more time I spent with Anastasia.

At four p.m. she asked me to drive her home, so she could be there to welcome Katherine, get ready for work the following day, and hopefully finish unpacking, as she'd barely been home ever since moving to Seattle.

I wasn't ready to see her go and a part of me wished she could just stay with me at Escala.

Before she left, though, there was something I needed to give her.

Hesitatingly, I presented her with the rectangular package. I knew how averse she was to gifts, but I was more averse to not spoiling her.

"I have something for you," I confessed. "It's for you to use at work."

"You know how I feel about gifts, Christian," she whined. That was better than outright hostility.

"You haven't hated a single one of my gifts so far, have you?" I asked with a smirk. The bracelet that she was currently wearing, the bookworm shoes, the cat sweatshirt and even the expensive e-Reader: she'd loved each one of them.

I rose an eyebrow, suddenly feeling more confident by my present, and handed her the package.

"The car was over the top," she pointed out. "I mean, it's a car!"

As if a single car was a large expense for me, especially when one took into account my peace of mind.

"You used to drive a death trap, Anastasia," I reminded her. "Anyway, you love it, as well as the bracelet you always wear, the e-Reader, the cat hoodie and the sneakers," I pointed out smugly.

"Fine, give it to me," she huffed petulantly—adorably.

She extended her hand and I placed the present on top of her palm. She opened it gingerly, as if afraid it'd explode in her face.

"Oh!" she exclaimed happily, a beautiful smile taking over her face.

Ha! I'd been right. She loved it.

That was six out of six, which was probably a record for me. I always had a hard time choosing gifts for my family, so when in doubt I just threw money at that particular problem. With Anastasia that was obviously not a solution. Thoughtful presents were harder to think of and find, but it was worth my Goddess' reaction.

After glancing up at my smug smile, she suddenly forced her face into the best poker face she'd managed so far—she still had a long way to go—and said, "It's all right, I guess," staining her voice to sound indifferent.

"All right?" I asked, raising an eyebrow challengingly.

We'd see about that.

Before she could react, I was on top of her, tickling her mercilessly like Carrick used to do with my siblings.

It had always looked like fun, but not something I could participate on, and it'd pained me to be on the outside, looking in.

Well, I was happy to report I had been right. Tickling Anastasia was a lot of fun. She laughed loudly, guffaws taking over her body as she tried to squirm away from me.

"Uncle!" she cried out.

"Confess you liked it and I'll stop," I proposed.

"All right! All right! I love it, Christian," she confessed, screeching. "It's perfect! Thank you!"

I let her be then, and watched her chest in fascination as her breathing went back to normal.

"I'll think about you every time I drink from it," she volunteered then, warming my heart like only she could.

I loved her.

"I'm glad, beautiful. Speaking of, remember to email me from your cell phone through the week. And I expect a call from you tomorrow night, Kitty," I added, hinting at phone sex as I whispered the last reminder huskily in her ear. Unable to help myself, I bit her earlobe softly.

"I promise to call, Sir," she breathed out.

"Good girl. Now, let's go before I bend you over the couch and take you. I don't think your poor pussy is up to it." She moaned, half in pleasure and half in complaint.

The first thing I did Monday morning—as soon as Andrea had finished reciting my schedule of the day and she'd left my office—was contact my personal shopper, Caroline Acton, and have her find an appropriate dress for Anastasia for the ball, as well as matching masks for her and I that complemented the dress. When I'd suggested my girl that I could take care of the gala's outfit for her, she'd seemed relieved. It would seem her adversity to shopping won over her displeasure at me buying her things. And to think she'd been upset that night at The Heathman's restaurant, when I'd insisted on buying clothes for her to wear at Escala!

Next, I called a florist and ordered a few dozen flowers for Anastasia. Carla had been nice enough to share carnations were her daughter's favourites, so I made sure there were some of those in the arrangement, as well as white roses, perfect for my angel.

After some suggestions from the florist, I agreed on a bouquet with half a dozen white roses, pink lilies and daisies, and purple small carnations.

"Would you like a message with the flowers, sir?" the florist asked.

A message? What should I say?

"Yes… Um… My sweet Anastasia," I began, for the first time feeling quite uncomfortable at sharing my heartfelt words with a stranger. "Congratulations on your first day at work. I hope it went well. I'm sure you exceeded expectations, as always. I'm proud of you. Your Christian. XOX"

The florist read it back to me, and for the first time in a long time, I think I blushed.

I received an email back from Caroline Acton that afternoon with three suggestions for gowns. I wanted to buy them all for Anastasia, but after she'd agreed so easily to let me do this for her I didn't wish to antagonize her unnecessarily. Maybe the next time I could buy her a few dresses at once… I hoped she'd be willing to accompany me to functions in the future—not that I went to many of them as I didn't particularly enjoy them.

Once I'd approved the champagne dress, it took my personal shopper under an hour to suggest a white corset for Anastasia to wear under her dress, as well a delicate and intricate golden mask for her, a black mask with golden details for me, and even a champagne tie to match my girl's dress. I replied with my approval. No one would dare think Anastasia didn't belong with me.

I focused mostly on my work through the day. I shared my positive findings regarding New York with Ros and then we bickered about whether Detroit or Boston where the best options for our new subsidiary. Finally, we moved on to our Darfur project. The food shipment had arrived safely a few days ago, and we'd been sent pictures of malnourished but currently happy-looking children eating the food we'd managed to deliver safely, after weeks of unexpected issues. It reminded me of my conversation with Anastasia at the bathtub in Georgia.

Was I a hero for this children?

Probably.

For the first time ever, I allowed myself to feel proud of my initiative to 'Feed the World,' as Anastasia had called it. It had always felt like my responsibility to help whichever way I could as soon as I had enough resources, and hunger was a special cause for me after what I'd gone through as a child. Yet I knew not all rich people used their money in selfish ways. What I was doing for the children wasn't a given, but something special—probably extraordinary from their point of view; the Greys had seemed like heroes to me when I'd first arrived at their home and they'd allowed me to eat as much as I desired.

It was a good thing I was well practised at focusing in my job, because Anastasia kept popping into my mind, trying to distract me. I considered e-mailing her a few times during the day, but I didn't want to bother her during her very first day at work.

Thus, I waited patiently for her to reach out first, and it payed off.

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Thank you

Date: June 6, 2011, 17:32

To: Christian Grey

Dear sweet-talker,

Thank you very much for the flowers. They're truly beautiful.

Nothing compares to your words, though. They're the sweetest.

I'll thank you properly when I call you tonight ;)

My day went great! They have me working on a fanfiction turned book, which is something I was hoping to do so badly! Someone who writes for fun and has many followers is getting their book published, and I'm helping make their dreams come true! Now I kind of feel like a fairy godmother. I'm ecstatic.

You'll be happy to know that I got along nicely with my married boss and a fellow assistant, and that none of them seem to be creepy stalkers or anything of the sort.

How was your day? Probably not as fulfilling as mine.

Your Ana.

XOXOX

I was ecstatic to know her day had met her expectations—and that her co-workers wouldn't be an issue.

From: Christian Grey

Subject: I aim to please

Date: June 6, 2011, 17:49

To: Anastasia Steele

Dear smart ass,

I'm glad you liked the flowers. I was hoping not to err with the colour.

It makes me even gladder to know that you had such a fulfilling day at work. You do feel like a fairy godmother to me sometimes. A sexy one. I wonder if there are any naughty fairy godmother costumes.

You cannot blame me for my dirty thoughts, what with you promising me phone sex. I'm looking forward to hearing you scream my name as you come tonight.

About your co-workers, just because they don't look creepy—how very English graduate of you—doesn't mean they aren't. I mean, look at me. I look like a perfectly respectable member of society.

And look at you: you look like a sweet, submissive, pushover little thing.

The moral of the story is that appearances are deceiving.

My day? Not to brag, but it was probably as fulfilling as yours, Miss Fairy Godmother. Ros and I did some progress on our 'Feed the World' project, as you like to call it. As if that weren't enough, we received some pictures of poor children happily eating our food. Those smiles really made me feel like Superman. Or maybe Iron Man. He's the rich one, right?

Whoever it is, it's good. It didn't use to feel so satisfying before you. I guess it's because I've always felt like feeding the poor was my duty, as I have so much money and they don't. I never looked at it as a heroic act but as my responsibility.

Thank you for making me feel like a hero. Nothing compares to your words.

You truly are my sunshine.

I'm looking forward to your call tonight.

Christian Grey

Grey Knight and CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

I didn't hear from Anastasia until nearly midnight. I was in my studio, so focused on work I'd lost track of time, when I heard my phone ring. I reached for it with the speed of a striking cobra, having been expecting my Kitty's call for over an hour. I smirked when I read the caller's ID.

"Hello, Anastasia," I murmured as soon as I'd answered my phone, making sure to sound as seductive as if I were right there, next to her.

"Hi," she squeaked softly.

"Tell me, sweetheart, will you make this difficult for me or are you already naked?" I asked. There was no point in beating around the bush. This call was supposed to be only about sex, and I had the feeling that trying to put her at ease with inane chatter wouldn't help—partly because I wasn't well versed in relaxing people. Furthermore, our relationship had been founded on sex, and I had the feeling that setting the familiar tone of seduction and debauchery would be the most effective way to bring Anastasia into a place in which she felt more comfortable, even if not totally at ease yet.

"I'm already naked and warm in bed," she answered, sounding marginally more confident.

"Hmm. How long did it take you to finally call me?" I teased her.

"Half an hour?" she replied, and in my mind, I could picture her wincing.

"No need to be so hesitant, Kitty. You'll see you like it better when I talk you through your orgasms." I hummed, thinking through my next words before saying them out loud. "Remember how tempting and sensual you look whenever you touch yourself for me? I need you to do it once again, beautiful."

"Ok," she whispered.

"I want you to touch your breasts for me, baby," I instructed and the hum I got as a response sounded more like a petulant question than an agreement. "Only your breasts," I insisted, determined to lead her to the climax slowly.

For the next twenty minutes, I guided her hands through the phone as I palmed my dick through my pants, unable to keep my hands to myself but wanting to remain focused on Anastasia. She'd moan or whimper every now and then as I encouraged her to be soft or rough, and slow or fast. While her hands worked on her breasts, I told her how sexy and beautiful she looked spread-eagled on my bed, and while she caressed her belly, I reminded her she was as much of a vision when tied up in my playroom, and even lounging on my couch. As I instructed her to caress her thighs, I promised her I'd make her see stars again on the upcoming weekend, with my tongue, fingers and cock. Finally, I encouraged her to touch her clit—softly at first, and with more pressure as time went by and her moans increased in frequency—while I told her to imagine we were together in my room and I was watching her pleasure herself. Before I could ask her to slide one finger inside herself, she was coming with a sigh.

"There, that wasn't so bad, was it?"

"Hmm. It was nice," she replied languidly.

"Nice? Just nice?" I frowned.

Nice?

There was nothing as plain as nice about me. I was spectacular—or a bastard, depending on the context—but not nice.

And she had the gall to giggle at me.

"What? Don't you like that word?" she teased me. Shy little Miss Steele was gone for the night. Wasn't she supposed to stay fucking silent during the call?

"I can't say I'm very fond of it, no. It's not good enough."

"Well, as far as self-given orgasms go, that wasn't the best I've ever had," she answered.

Challenge accepted, baby.

"Well, I guess I'll have to up my game tomorrow, Kitty."

"I'll hold you to it," she answered right before yawning.

"Go to sleep, Anastasia. It would seem the nice orgasm was good enough to tire you out."

"Well, it's been a long day, Sir," she answered back with that smart mouth of hers.

"If you keep this up, I'm going to have to punish you this Friday, Anastasia. And it's not going to be the spanking you're so fond of," I assured her, still frowning.

Nice my ass.

"Alright, alright," she placated me. "Sweet dreams, Christian," she added with a sweeter tone. "Oh, and congratulations on your project. I'm very proud of you."

I gasped. It wasn't something I heard very often, and coming from her... It made me feel like the Master of the Universe. Like I was three metres (ten feet) tall. Like I was made of titanium and nothing could bring me down.

"Laters, handsome," she spoke after a few seconds and hung up before I could regain my speech.

On Tuesday, Anastasia called me close to eleven p.m. I took it up a notch or two, being more explicit as I spoke about our favourite toys and how much I loved using them on her. I reminded her of our good times in the playroom, having plenty of material after the last two months. She panted and moaned as I encouraged her to touch herself, hoping she wouldn't realise I'd only given her free reign because I recognised she knew better than me how to carry on her self-loving. I could admit to myself that she knew better than me how to guide her own hands, so long as it was still remembered that my hands and dick were still more effective than masturbation.

When she came that night, it wasn't with a sigh but my name on her sweet lips.

"How nice was that?" I asked, feeling good about myself.

"Hmm... very nice. Closer to your standards."

"What?"

Just very nice?

Only closer to my fucking standards?

What the hell?

"I mean, it was better than yesterday. I've done better by myself, but it was still very nice."

Was she fucking with me?

"You're teasing me," I realised and she burst out laughing.

I shook my head, glad she couldn't see my smile. It would only encourage her.

"Still not the best ever, but it was amazing, Christian. I loved hearing your voice telling me about all the kinky stuff we've done. We're really great together, aren't we? No one's made me feel as good as you, I swear."

My heart started beating faster and my mouth got dry.

"And no one's made me feel as good as you, beautiful," I confessed. I wasn't comfortable sharing this with her, fearing it would lead to talks about feelings. I wasn't ready to speak about my love for her, and even worse, I was afraid she wasn't ready to hear it either.

I couldn't lose her.

"Really?" she asked, sounding doubtful and uncertain. "I mean, I know you've been with many submissives... and I'm not even your Sub out of the playroom, like the others."

"Anastasia Steele, listen to me," I ordered. "No one compares to you," I assured her firmly, my usual bossy voice having a heartfelt undertone. "Your body—with your tight pussy and magnificent breasts—is the most beautiful I've ever seen or touched. And your friendship, that would have never happened if you weren't such a stubborn and independent woman, is precious to me. You're the best I've ever had, both when we're playing, and when we're not."

To hell with being afraid of talking about my feelings. Reassuring my girl was more important.

"You're the best I've ever had, too, Christian," she answered softly. It was good to hear—it was fucking great. "The best sex, the best Dom, the best friend."

Shit. My heart was going to beat out of my chest. Anastasia had knocked down the walls that had surrounded it for many years, and now that it wasn't withering anymore, it kept making its presence known.

"You're my best friend, too, Kitty," I whispered back. When she hadn't replied after a few seconds, I grew worried. Had I scared her? "Anastasia?" I asked twice, getting no reply. "Ana, are you still there?"

"Yes. Sorry, did you say something?"

"Just that you're my best friend, too. You're never getting rid of me, Steele," I said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Good… Sorry, I must have spaced out. I guess I'm more tired than I thought."

I frowned, worried.

"It's okay, baby. You need your rest. Go to sleep, now. We'll talk tomorrow."

"Alright. Sweet dreams, Christian."

"You too, Anastasia." I hung up before whispering, "I love you."

Wednesday, I was busy with meetings all through the morning. It wasn't until mid-afternoon that I realised Anastasia hadn't written. I sent her a short email complaining about my long morning. Her reply was short:

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: RE:Good afternoon

Date: June 8, 2011, 14:28

To: Christian Grey

Christian,

I hope the rest of your day will be better.

I'm really busy today.

Laters, handsome.

Where were my kisses?

The email was disappointing, but I could understand work could get intense sometimes.

My displeasure only grew that night, when Anastasia emailed me to inform me she was too tired for phone sex and would be going to sleep early.

By the next evening, I began to suspect the job wasn't the issue, but me. The email I received during lunch on Thursday wasn't dissimilar from Wednesday's, and I was beginning to suspect she was ignoring me. Maybe I was being too self-centred, and adapting to her new job was taking too much energy out of her. Maybe she was feeling under the weather, I thought with a frown. Or maybe the talk we'd had on Tuesday night had scared her.

Anastasia, much like me, was brave enough to step into a playroom, but also warry of matters of the heart. I had processed and accepted my feelings well enough. I had been lucky a part of my brain had been working on those issues in the background, just like it'd done plenty of times in the past with work problems—how many times had I had Eureka moments, as my mind had been silently figuring out the solution to a particularly elusive situation?

Maybe my words had revealed how I felt about Anastasia, and she considered she didn't feel the same way. Or maybe she actually didn't feel the same way? No, I had felt her love for me before, and I knew my feelings were reciprocated. Maybe—a part of me hoped—my words had made her realise she loved me, and she was having a minor freak out.

I sighed.

Timed would tell.

I was still feeling down when I walked into Flynn's office that evening.

"So Christian," the doctor said after we'd greeted each other. "It's been three weeks. The last time we spoke, you had designed a new contract for you and… Anastasia. How is that working for you?"

I snorted and Dr Flynn's inquiring expression made me burst out laughing. The contract! How hilarious.

"It didn't," I tried to answer, but it took me an extra minute to calm down. "Sorry," I said, and the smile Flynn gave me was equal parts amused and bemused. "Anastasia and I tried out our new contract but… I wouldn't say we're following it to the letter. We're friends," I frowned. "At least I think so. We've barely spoken in the last couple of days… And now that I say it out loud I know it sounds stupid, but we've either seen, spoken or emailed each other daily for the last two or three weeks." Dr Flynn rose his eyebrows, surprised. I was quite enjoying shocking him, so I decided to go for the kill. "I'm in love with her."

Wow.

It was oddly powerful to say out loud.

"I love Anastasia," I spoke with a small smile.

Our conversation took an upturn from there. I told John about Anastasia and our time spent together—the not naked one, that is—and he seemed pleasantly shocked with what I had to say. He was happy to hear I wanted to give his Solution-Focused Brief Therapy a second chance, and we spoke about my goals.

"There's something else," I added when I noticed the time was almost up. "She touched my chest accidentally a few days ago and… it didn't hurt," I said with a bemused frown.

"This is great news, Christian," he assured me. "Associating touch with pain has become rooted in your head years ago. With your sister, you knew from the beginning a baby wouldn't hurt you, and it seems you have learnt Anastasia won't hurt you either."

"Well… it only happened once, and it wasn't on purpose…" Then there was the bath, but she'd used a sponge and hadn't actually touched me. "What are your thoughts on us trying it?"

"So long as you feel comfortable about it, I think you should do it. Make sure you are in a safe environment, be it the comfort of your home or here, with my assistance. It is known that you can slowly allow yourself to become more comfortable with your fears. Repeated positive experiences through exposure may slowly change your negative emotions toward touch," he answered as I nodded along. It wasn't the first time I was hearing this, but in the past, the suggestion had always made me panic. Now, I was seriously considering it. I wanted Anastasia to touch me, despite my fear.

"I'll think about it."

I decided to confront Anastasia about her evasions on Friday. After the third day of silence, there was no way I was waiting till Saturday.

I left the office before five p.m. that day, wanting to catch Anastasia when she arrived home. I had been waiting under ten minutes in front of her building when I spotted her red Audi A3 taking a turn at the corner. I lay against my vehicle as she parked her car and climbed out of it.

She approached me slowly and cautiously, knowing she was in trouble. As she grew closer, I noticed the bags under her eyes. Her fake smile did nothing to appease me. Had she been feeling ill? Was that why she'd been so silent and tired?

"Anastasia, what's wrong?" I asked worriedly. I could feel myself frowning.

"Christian, hi! Nothing's wrong," she answered with a ridiculously cheerful voice. At least she didn't sound sick.

I raised an eyebrow at her fake answer, waiting for an honest explanation.

"You've been avoiding me, and you look exhausted."

"Sorry. It's just that I haven't been sleeping well and that's made me a bit grumpy and antisocial."

"What's been keeping you awake?" I asked, worried about her.

"I don't want to talk about it," she grumbled as she looked down and to a side, a curtain of brunette hair hiding her face from me, but not before I could spot her sad pout.

I sighed. This was so frustrating. I couldn't help her if I didn't know what the issue was.

Still, I could bring solace.

"Come here," I said as I took a step forward and wrapped her in my arms.

She relaxed against me, placing her hands on my lower back and her head on my chest. I didn't go around giving hugs, but I could get used to it—with Anastasia, that is.

After several seconds I tried to pull away, but she whined, "No," as she gripped the back of my shirt tightly, so I held her even closer until she'd had enough.

She took a step back eventually, and muttered, "Sorry 'bout that," as she evaded my eyes.

"No need," I answered, resisting the need to raise her chin and ask more questions. "This is what I'm here for, Anastasia. And I'll be here when you want to talk about what's bothering you. Just... let me know if I can help in any way." She nodded weakly and I huffed. "I want to be patient, but not knowing is killing me."

She giggled weakly as she glanced up at me. I counted it as a minor success.

"Just having you here and knowing you care helps. Now come along as I leave my purse at home and pack clothes for Sunday night." I frowned at the mention of clothes. When she grabbed my hand and tried to guide me inside, I refused to budge. "I have to, for Kate's sake," she whispered.

Being with a girl that had an inquisitive roommate—who also happened to be sleeping with my brother—sucked. I nodded and followed her dragging my feet.

"You're such a child!" she exclaimed sounding much more cheerful than when she'd arrived, thus making me smile.

Katherine was, thank God, still not at the apartment. I followed Anastasia through the living room and into her bedroom, and I stood behind her as she grabbed a bag from her closet and started packing her things. I'd never been inside a girl's bedroom before meeting Anastasia, and I'd most definitely never seen the inside of a girl's closet that wasn't the one in the Sub's room at Escala.

I tried to sneak a peek inside Anastasia's underwear drawer, hoping the teasing would amuse her, but instead of the feign frown I was expecting, I got a real one. Well, that backfired. I took a step back as Anastasia finished packing her things and then followed her back to the front door. We were halfway through the living room when Katherine walked into the house, holding bags of groceries. With her eyes, the blonde asked the brunette a question I couldn't decipher. Anastasia seemed to understand it, though, because she nodded.

"Have fun!" exclaimed Kate with a teasing wink as we walked out the door. "See you tomorrow at the ball. Do make sure she can walk," she added.

"Kate!" Anastasia gasped as I laughed at our inside joke. It was a nice reminder of the amusing day I'd had with my siblings—it didn't happen often.

Anastasia slammed the door before Katherine could keep teasing us, but I shouted back, "I'll do my best."

Look at me, joking with my girl's roommate and my brother's girlfriend.

"Keep this up and I assure you I'll have no problem walking whatsoever," Anastasia scolded me. "I hope your blue balls won't bother you, though," she growled like a tiger as she marched towards my car.

"Alright, someone's clearly still in a bad mood. I'll make it as though I didn't hear that," I barked, following her.

"And I guess I'll make it as though you didn't just encourage Kate," she answered back.

Maybe she had a point. I wouldn't have appreciated it if the roles had been reversed, and while I suspected a less moody Anastasia would have valued the effort Kate and I had made to get along—even if the joke was at her expense—I should have known better than to tease my girl when she was upset.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to embarrass you," I apologised sincerely.

Anastasia seemed to deflate, the anger and tension abandoning her shoulders.

"I... just... I'm really not in the mood to be laughed at or be pushed around, Christian. It's been a bad couple of days."

"I'm sorry," I repeated as I spun her around. Once she was facing me, I let my newfound instincts take over and kissed her forehead. "I'll be good. I'll even watch a girly movie with you when we get home," I proposed.

"Alright," she answered with an honest smile.

She'd be definitely taking me up to it.

Damn it.