August 1914
The next morning, Abigail woke up and went straight to the kitchen downstairs in the cafe to prepare the food for breakfast. She let out a long yawn as she recalled the lack of sleep she had gotten. She spent almost all night in bed thinking about Henry and how her body felt when he had touched her. Rather than cringe, the way she had always suspected that she would, she bit her lip, closing her eyes and wishing he were in her bed with her. Truthfully, she loved his hands and how large and strong they were. They made her body feel small in comparison and the thought that he could break her with them only made her want him more. Her inappropriate thoughts had scared her, but her body couldn't help but love the excitement of being so devious. She felt like a young teen disobeying her parents and she loved it. Sending Peter off to the mines when he was grown always made her feel so old and as though her life were almost over. She was becoming an old maid and even Noah had noticed.
The truth was that she and Noah had not touched each other with more than a small peck kiss for years before the mining accident and perhaps she allowed Henry to do whatever he wanted with her to make up for it. She, again, found herself feeling lonely in her bed and she knew that everything Henry had told her about herself was true. She hated that. But she also admired it. She never thought that Henry Gowen, of all people, would know her better than she knew herself. He made her feel young again. Something she never thought possible once she had accepted the fact that she was getting older with Noah. Perhaps THAT was why she was giving in to temptation.
"Good morning, Miss Abigail." Cody said as he came down the stairs that day with his baseball and his baseball glove. "Can I play with Robert and Timmy today after breakfast?" He asked her.
"Have you finished your weekend homework?" Abigail asked him.
"Welllll…" He began to think of a good response, but took too long and she already knew the answer.
"You can play for a little while, but then I want you back inside before lunch to work on it." She told him, frankly not wanting to supervise him right this second considering her lack of sleep was beginning to kick in already.
"Yes! Thank you." He smiled and ran toward the door.
"Wait just a moment, young man. We agreed that you would go out AFTER breakfast….From your lips to my ears. Come on, now. Have a seat while I make you your eggs."
Cody sighed a bit before going to the table and sitting down. Abigail yawned again. "Miss Abigail, are you tired?" He asked her.
"I suppose I am, Cody. I did not get much sleep." She told him.
"Why not? Was it because of Mr. Gowen?"
"Why on earth would you think that?" She asked him, hoping he was not reading her mind as well. She cracked a couple of eggs into a clear bowl and mixed them up.
"Because Robert and I saw you last night heading into the woods toward his big house."
"How do you know where Mr. Gowen lives?" She wondered aloud.
"Robert and I followed him there one day. The kids at school talked about how big his mansion was, so we wanted to go see." He admitted.
"Well…yes, I went to see Mr. Gowen last night to discuss some town business. He is no longer under investigation so he will be mayor again."
"Yes!" Cody celebrated. "That means we can have Domino night with Pastor Frank again!"
"Oh, um…well, Cody. Pastor Frank and I are no longer seeing each other. So Domino night will just be you and I again."
"Oh." He said with disappointment. "Did you two have a fight?"
Abigail poured the eggs onto a pan on the stove. "It was more of a disagreement about our communication." She half lied, not wanting to disappoint him any more than she already had. "But you and I can have just as much fun playing Dominos without him."
Cody sighed again and looked down at his baseball glove on his hand. "Alright….Do you think you will ever make up?"
"I am not so sure, Cody." She told him truthfully, considering all she could think about now was Henry and she knew that being with Frank while thinking of him would be very wrong.
"But why not?"
Before Abigail could answer him, the back door into the kitchen opened and Elizabeth stepped inside. "Good morning, Abigail. Good morning, Cody." She smiled at her student.
"Elizabeth, good morning." Abigail grinned at her friend while she scrambled Cody's eggs in the pan. "Would you like some eggs? On the house."
"Oh, Abigail. No thank you. I have actually come to speak with you about something. I need advice."
"Advice about what?" She wondered, already excited to be helpful before quickly turning from excited to feeling ashamed as she recalled what Henry had said about her lack of humility.
"About…" Elizabeth's eyes quickly looked to Cody, knowing that if she discussed this with him present, rumors in school would spread and then eventually, around the town. "Cody, could you please give us a moment?"
Cody immediately stood up. "Can I go outside?" He asked Abigail once more.
Abigail looked between the boy and his teacher briefly before giving in. "Yes, alright. You may go. But be back in ten minutes or your food will get cold." She told him.
"Yes! Thank you, Miss Abigail!" His voice trailed off as he ran out the back door before finishing his sentence.
Abigail then got some sausage links to place in a separate pan on the stove. "What is it, Elizabeth?"
"It's about Jack. I feel he is going to propose to me."
"Elizabeth, that's great!" Abigail smiled.
"I'm not so sure it is." Her friend argued. "I don't think I'm ready."
"Why is that?" Mrs. Stanton wondered.
"I don't know." Elizabeth plopped down in one of the chairs at the table. "I want to marry him. But I am afraid."
"Afraid of what?"
"Ahhh! Good morning, ladies!" Rosemary said as she barged in through the back door into the kitchen. "It is a wonderful day in Hope Valley!" She took in a deep breath of fresh air before closing the door behind her.
"It doesn't feel so wonderful." Elizabeth sulked, looking down at the table in front of her.
"And why not?" Rosemary asked immediately, almost as if she were offended by Elizabeth's words.
"She is afraid that Jack is going to propose to her." Abigail answered for Elizabeth.
"Why on earth would you be AFRAID?" Rosemary asked her. "Being married is so wonderful!" She said excitedly before sitting at the table with Elizabeth. "Lee and I still feel like we are on our honeymoon." She grinned.
"Yes, well, Lee does not chase outlaws and get shot at almost everyday." Elizabeth rested her elbow on the table and placed her chin in her hand.
"Oh, I see." Abigail said from the stove. "THAT'S what this is about. But yesterday, you seemed alright with him stopping those robbers."
"That's because I PRETENDED to be okay with it….For Jack. But the truth is, I am not sure I want to be worrying about my husband everyday." Elizabeth admitted.
"Oh, but Elizabeth. You cannot let that ruin your love for Jack." Rosemary told her.
"I still love him, I just…" Elizabeth sighed and looked up at the cafe owner. "What do YOU think, Abigail?"
"I think…" She was about to answer her when Henry's words popped into her head again and she suddenly decided that she shouldn't. "I think I am the wrong person to ask for relationship advice." She said.
"What? Abigail, you always give great advice on relationships." Elizabeth told her.
"Yes, I USED to. But look at how Frank and I turned out." She said before letting out a big yawn. "Oh, excuse me."
Rosemary looked at her confused. "Are you tired, Abigail?"
"Oh, I'm alright. I just didn't sleep very well last night."
"Because of Frank?" Elizabeth assumed.
"No, no."
"It's all that mayor work, isn't it?" Rosemary jumped in. "Perhaps you should let me run the cafe today and you take a break and get some rest." She practically demanded and stood up.
"No…no. Rosemary." Abigail put a hand up as if to stop the other blonde from walking around the kitchen to take over with the food. "That's alright. I was just up thinking all night. That's all."
"Thinking? About what?" Rosie said before sitting down again after Abigail's reaction to her offer to run the cafe.
"Oh, just…" She shook her head no. "I couldn't say." Abigail instantly felt a chill throughout her body as she realized just how horrible she was that she had to keep this a secret even from her two great friends.
"Why not?" Elizabeth wondered.
Abigail turned off the stove once the eggs and sausages were finished and she placed a cover over both pans to keep the food warm for Cody. She yawned once more before walking around the kitchen's island to sit at the table with both of her friends and she sighed.
"Yes, becoming acting mayor placed a lot more stress on me than I care to admit…but now that Henry is taking the job again, I have no room to complain." She started to say. "But then I realized that with or without the job…my work in this town will not end."
"Whatever do you mean?" Rosemary asked her.
"It only recently occurred to me that even when I am NOT mayor…everyone still comes to me for advice or wants to make votes based on MY vote. It's as if I AM the mayor no matter what. And it is utterly exhausting."
"I can imagine." Elizabeth spoke up. "Oh, Abigail, I am so sorry. I hadn't realized how much I ask for your advice as well. I hope I didn't cause too much stress. From now on, I will not ask you unless you offer it." She vowed before looking to Rosemary as if to force her to say the same thing.
"Oh! And neither will I." Rosie jumped in once she realized what Elizabeth's face was telling her. "From now on…any advice that YOU need…we can try and give to you. From both of us." The actress offered. "Right, Elizabeth?"
"Yes, of course. We are here for you." The brunette said, sending Abigail a soft smile.
"Anything at all." Rosemary said as if to push Abigail to let something out right this second. "WHENEVER you need it." She pushed a little harder. "Even right now." She grinned.
"O-Oh, um…" Abigail tried to quickly think of something that had NOTHING to do with Henry but her mind went completely blank.
"Whatever you need." Rosie repeated.
"I must admit that there IS something, but I really should not say." She spoke with a hint of shame in her tone.
"Why not?" Rosemary asked again.
"You are my friends and I am afraid of disappointing you. You will look at me differently and might even…decide not to be my friend anymore once you know."
"Know what?" Elizabeth asked with concern.
Abigail looked between both women for a moment before she gulped and replied. "What I've done." Her voice cracked a bit as she instantly regretted starting this conversation. Her throat stung as she realized she wanted to cry.
"What you've done?" The actress seemed a bit confused.
"Yes…I am ashamed of myself." She admitted. A part of her didn't want to be ashamed which, in turn, made her even more ashamed. She quickly wiped away a stray tear.
"Abigail, what did you do?" Elizabeth asked her more seriously, her mind floating off to several things Mrs. Stanton could do that would not change her mind about her…unless it was something to do with her work as the acting mayor. Elizabeth imagined that her best friend was about to admit stealing money from the town council or even about to admit to perhaps hitting Cody but nothing could have prepared her for what she was really about to say.
"I have let a man take me…though we are not married."
"That's it?" Rosemary asked as if it were no big deal.
Elizabeth's eyes grew wider as she slowly realized what Abigail had meant. "Rosemary, what do you mean 'that's it?' Abigail…when was this?"
"It…has happened a few times now." Abigail admitted, her shame only growing as she saw the look in the teacher's eyes. "I am not sure what came over me. The first time it was just because I thought that's what he wanted in order to leave me alone. In order to leave this TOWN alone. I thought it would help him change his mind about selling the cafe, but-"
"Selling the cafe? Abigail, you mean…Henry Gowen?!" Elizabeth sounded even more shocked.
"Wait…Henry Gowen?" Rosemary sounded dumbfounded. "I thought you meant Pastor Frank."
Elizabeth looked at the actress with a raised eyebrow. "Pastor Frank? Rosemary, you really think a pastor would-"
"He used to be an outlaw!" The actress justified her assumption. "And those two have been seeing each other. I did not think it would be that shocking to expect they'd-" She looked back at Abigail. "But Henry Gowen? Really? When did this happen? And it happened more than once? I thought you couldn't stand each other. How did it go? WHY did it happen? I want all the details…Well…not ALL."
"I-I-" Abigail was surprised at all of Rosemary's questions while ashamed of herself as she saw the look on Elizabeth's face. "I should not say any more. I have said too much already. I understand if you are ashamed of me as well."
"Oh, Abigail." Rosemary told her. "We are almost into the 1920's. It is more common than you think."
"Yes, for whores and women who sell themselves."
"That is not true. Almost every actor that I know has copulated well before marriage and I, myself, had dabbled a little into that unspoken world."
"Rosemary!" Elizabeth looked at her in shock. "You have?"
"Why, yes. I have." The blonde noticed how concerned Elizabeth looked. "Oh! But not with Jack!" She said truthfully. "He was too much of a gentleman, which I admired."
"And Lee?" Elizabeth immediately regretted asking that as she knew it was none of her business.
"No. With Lee, I was very self conscious, because I did not want to ruin what we had. I am glad I waited for him." She admitted. "Don't look so shocked, Elizabeth. I am sure you have heard of friends in the great city of Hamilton 'dabbling' as well."
"Well…yes, I suppose I have. Although, I never expected anyone from Hope Valley to-"
"I never expected it either, Elizabeth." Abigail told her. "As I said…I am not quite sure what came over me. I only went there to speak with him about the cafe and something inside me just went for it. I thought it was what he wanted. But afterwards, he began to avoid me and sold his shares of the cafe anyways. A month or so passed and I went back to his place after the trial and we spoke about it. Turns out he was just as shocked at my actions as I was and he had avoided me because he thought that what had happened was HIS fault."
"Was it?" Elizabeth asked her.
"No. Now when I think back to that day, I realize that I did it, yes to try and change his mind, but also to make myself feel better. After Noah passed away, I was beginning to wonder if I would ever have that feeling again. The feeling of being wanted for my body and NOT for my advice. I am sure neither of you understand how it is to feel old and ugly. And though Henry has NEVER seen me without my clothes on…I can feel how much he wants me in those moments and I feel good again. I no longer feel like an old widow who will be nothing more than an ugly spinster for the rest of her life. He makes me feel younger and when I am around him…something in my body begs for more of that from him."
"And you said this has happened more than once." Rosemary repeated.
"Yes. The day we spoke about our first time, it happened again. And again, last night." She admitted.
"Well, Abigail. I can understand why you would feel ashamed considering where and how you were raised, but times are changing. And though, I do question your choice in that kind of partner…Henry Gowen would not be my first choice for you…there is nothing to be ashamed of." Rosemary tried to assure her.
"But there IS something else." Abigail said. "The first two times happened while I was seeing Frank. I cannot believe I did that to him."
"Yes, well…you are not seeing him anymore, correct?" Rosemary asked her.
"No. I am not."
"Then what happened last night is nothing to be ashamed of, Abigail. And if you want to do it again…then I say go for it!" The actress smiled at her. "Especially if he makes you feel all those wonderful things."
"Yes, but…just one question." Elizabeth said. "Henry Gowen?"
Abigail blushed a bit. "I am just as surprised as you are. And it's not as if my feelings toward him have changed, they haven't. He is still devious, conniving, and manipulative with just a small hint of good in him. But I love the way he touches me and looks at me. He is almost like physical medicine to me. Nothing more."
"And you say you have never taken your clothes off for him, yes?" Rosemary asked her.
"No. I haven't."
"That is even more modest than me. Do not tell Lee, but half a dozen men have seen me without my clothes on."
"Rosemary!" Elizabeth even blushed.
"It's not what you think! Two of them were with me and a few other female cast members when we went skinny dipping in a pond together. Those two men were NOT interested in us ladies, if you understand what I mean. And two more were directors who insisted on seeing 'me' at an audition, though I am not proud to say this, to get the role, nothing more. And the other two were old boyfriends. Now, those last two DID get something more." She chuckled a bit.
"So two men, Rosemary? NOT including Lee?" The teacher asked her.
"Yes, just the two and my wonderful husband." She said happily as she internally recalled her honeymoon with Lee.
Elizabeth let out a breath. "Well, now you both have been with at least two men and I have yet to be with one." She said, a bit fearful.
"It's alright, Elizabeth. I am sure Jack will be quite respectful once you two get there." Rosie said.
"Yes, I am sure he will." Abigail agreed and gently rubbed Elizabeth's back. "And if you ever need any advice about anything, you can still come to me." The widow told her. "Either of you can. I am just overwhelmed with my own feelings right now. And I still love giving advice. It is just hard to give myself advice. Especially when it comes to Henry." She admitted out loud, feeling a weight lift off of her shoulders.
"Just promise us one thing." Ms. Thatcher started while looking seriously into Abigail's eyes. "Do not fall in love with him." She demanded.
The three ladies all looked at each other before they laughed at Elizabeth's request. As if THAT could ever happen.
A/N: I hope everyone is enjoying this fic as much as I have enjoyed writing it. There is plenty more to come, but I just wanted to say that I know that some people may not approve of how I wrote Rosemary in this chapter, but I was only trying to make sure Abigail had a friend that wouldn't judge her and it made sense to me to think that Rosemary, as an actress, wasn't as "innocent" as the show runners may want us to think she is for the sake of Hallmark and children viewers. But to the adult viewers reading this, I hope what I wrote made sense. ENJOY! PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS AND REVIEWS!