Not-so Anonymously - or 'Why is everyone calling me ANON?!' (MLP FiM, SI - Not!Anon)

EDIT: Pones are anthros.

Today was a good day to watch a movie.

I had my snacks in the form of a bowl filled with popcorn, some soda bottles as a beverage and the many DVDs I still had of the last few movies I bought a long while ago.

I was sold, hooked, smitten to the wonderful thing that was my Smart TV as it didn't need to be connected to anything to work as an offline thing for me to employ in a world where there was no wi-fi, no internet, not Netflix, no fucking Chill! in terms of actually being spared from any disturbance but… today was a good day.

I had been taking precautions such as barricading my lovely home's windows, installing two doors for each entrance and making sure the ventilation system was too tight for a certain pink troublemaker to bust my fun bubble.

I was happy alone, I was going to be happy in my home, away from the land of pastels I had been hurled through an abnormal hurricane together with my lovely cottage.

Now, nothing odd as this place was built with love, dedication and a degree of self-sufficiency that made it a tough thing to go down. What wasn't as resilient, as I learned shortly after that experience, was the world I once called home as I was now no longer there.

My house survived, but my sanity wasn't meant to last long as I happened to find myself in the world of pastel… ponies. Not the legit animals tho, not when they were walking around bipedally and quite curvaceously. Well, the ladies, not the 'Stallions'.

Yes, I am in My Little Pony but clearly not meant for kids.

I am an anomaly as a standard human in this sort of place, one that had the chance to meet the 'only' sovereign and then the other one through some interesting developments I will not mention right now.

Not when Luna decided to entrench in her room back in Canterlot with my copy of Halo 3 and my Xbox for her to binge-play until 'full completion'. She is not a gamer, she is a degenerate for stealing my teenage years' most precious treasure.

Still! Today is not a day for bad moods as I had planned to watch all available John Wick to enjoy my free day away from trouble and other messed up shit that Ponyville was known to be up to at this point.

I started John Wick, I got to my couch, munched on my popcorn and- I felt a disturbance in the force. Or rather a pink-furred hand reaching from behind and right into… my popcorn! I slapped without hesitation, a feminine yelp and I groaned before turning to look at-

"Ponk, what are you doing here?"

Pinkie Pie, Element of Laughter, was smiling eye-to-eye while still holding her 'hurt' palm.

"Hey Nonny, just visiting to drop some cookies."

"And stealing my popcorn," I added and she shrugged. "No, but really what do you want?"

"I just wanted to drop some cookies, that's what I just said-"

"Swear it, or tell the truth," I interrupted, giving her a rather flat look. I had dealt with this shit for very little, but long enough to know this was no general situation. "Also, I am quite sure you didn't break through the windows or the doors- where the hell did you come from?"

"The tubes!"

…

…

I stood up from my chair, still holding my bowl of popcorn close so as to not let the party demon get any of those and… I paused in my steps right as I made it to the hallway, finding a trail of water trickling through under the bathroom's door.

I am a man of science and rationale, but I was also someone that knew Pinkie had the power to bullshit logic in ways that made me contemplate her potential correlation to Discord. Still, the fact she emerged from tubes where water usually comes through without being anywhere wet despite having such a wild mane of hair to deal with well… holy fuck, my brain hurts!

I didn't even go to check what the hell happened, well-aware of the imminent disappointment and knowing my brain was not ready for this. I just silently made my way to the now-blocked garage area and turned the water valve off so I could get someone to fix the problem without wasting too much water.

I didn't joke about the self-reliant nature of this house, having installed an independent water pump that connected to a stray water stream coming from the Everfree Forest and added all that was needed to make it workable for the house's needs.

Once that was done, I walked up to the living room and I saw Pinkie already watching the movie and looking focused on it. I grabbed the remote nearby and put it to pause, snatching her attention back to me.

"O-Oh, Nonny. Interesting story."

"Like the one where you have to pay me for damages again?"

She slumped a bit. "But I need this money."

"For what? You don't exactly spend them for much."

"Cakes," Ponk replied swiftly. "The ingredients, tools, and other things about it."

"Then if you want to keep that livelihood going you should stop doing that to me. You know, ruining it."

"...Sorry."

"No," I said, while closing my eyes as I was really angry at this point. "Sorry is not a word you use because you want to feel better after doing something bad- it's meant to be 'I am sorry and I will not do something like this ever again'. Yet, as far as I can tell, and it's futile lying at this point, this keeps happening over and over again- You even keep on calling me 'Anon' to the point others ignore my real name. I am John Bukharin, not 'Anon', not 'Anonymous', and definitely not 'Nonny'! No, I am not accepting an apology. Go back to Sugarcube Corner, do your stuff, leave me alone and I will contemplate talking with you in a week. If! If I have the mental strength to just ignore the damage you keep on delivering on my humble abode!"

She looked… flat. Not even in her Pinkamena mode, but more of a Pinkie but 'flat' in face. It was almost sad- almost as I really was too furious to give a flying fuck of the sad face she had. She warranted it, she warranted the reaction, the rant and now the proper butt-kicking out of my humble abode.

"Oh."

She stood up from my chair and I walked her to the door. She stepped outside, turned around to say something but I shut the door on her face right before she could have said or done anything.

I went back to my couch, gave a passing glance to the cookies she brought and I retrieved my new 'scroll-sender'. Kind of what Spike does with Twilight, but limited in range to only those in town.

"Need assessment on broken pipes and on potentially shattered toilet. Pinkie did it again."

Added the signature and then sent it to the 'fixing business' that opened up after Pinkie started to get as destructive as she was now. It was helpful for the economy, but it was an utter outrage it now lived through my money too.

I sighed once I was done and went back to the movies. I had much to catch up to but… at least I was finished with the dreadful chance of facing Pinkie again for today and I went back to my movie.

I just knew tomorrow was not going to be a simple day as the rest of the 'Mane Six' may have something to say to me- and I something to them.

AN

The pink one is trouble! But boy, the next chapter will highlight a few things to make her 'acceptable' despite the bad rep she got from her recent actions. That and the fact that more is known about John's presence in Equestria. He is no Anon, but he has connection to the very high echelon of power and… being the official babysitter to the Cutie Mark Crusaders. And yes, that's an arduous task.