JENNIE

The seconds passed, painfully slow, as cold air assaulted my bare skin.

When I didn't try to run, Lisa glowered as if being here was one step above being burned alive at the stake. Then, with a resigned sigh, her eyes met mine.

"Touch yourself."

Those two words sucked all the air from the room.

I wasn't so naïve as to think she meant 'touch' as in the innocent Simon Says version of eyes, nose, head and ears.

No, she meant …

Somehow, I still managed to find just enough breath to choke out, "W-why?"

Her response was scathing. "You claim to be a virgin, correct? Well, if you don't want the deflowering," she said, actually making air quotes, "to hurt unnecessarily, then I suggest you take the standard precautions."

My cheeks flamed. In the end I could only croak, "I-I don't know how."

"Drop the cowering prude act," Lisa snapped. "This isn't the place for modesty, and considering your nonexistent relationships with men, I'm sure you've mastered the art form."

She waited, but my expression must have revealed that I was not stalling for modesty's sake.

Only strictly professional physicians had ever touched me there, with prodding instruments and rubber gloves.

Hell, I didn't even look at myself when I put on underwear. Sex, according to Mother, was purely a means for producing heirs to the family fortune—a duty falling solely on Rosé's shoulders, now that I was dying.

Besides, who was I kidding?

Spinsterhood would've been my destination anyway.

"You can't be serious." From Lisa's expression, one might think I'd declared I was the Queen of England and that I liked to run naked through the halls of Buckingham Palace. "Oh, for the love of—"

She sighed, and the mattress creaked beneath her weight as she moved.

"Don't make this any more difficult than it needs to be," she warned as her hand slid between my legs, ruthlessly forcing them apart.

I couldn't resist the impulse to lock my knees together, even though I knew it was futile. Taking a thigh in each hand, Lisa easily spread them wider and muscled her way in between.

She was so large. Harper, who towered over me, had never made me feel so small and insignificant. I didn't think I had ever been so close to another living being—not to mention so exposed.

I shivered beneath her, though I suspected that the reaction had less to do with the chill emanating from her body and more to do with her. Our pelvises nearly connected as she drew back on her knees, taking me in with one, dismissive sweep of her gaze.

Without warning, she reached down to finger the elastic band of my panties and every cell in my body tightened.

"W-wait!"

It was the first time someone had touched me without the excuse of a strict medical curiosity. Ever.

At my reaction, Lisa simply rolled her eyes and reached for my wrist.

I shook my head, but she peeled back the elastic of my panties with two fingers and forced my own hand beneath the cotton.

Stop, stop, stop, I chanted to myself, heart in my throat, as she pressed my fingers against the mound that I had never been brave enough to explore on my own. I cringed at the feel of coarse curls, skin …dampness.

I had no idea what to expect, but warmth, paired with the expert precision of Lisa's fingers steering my own was not it. She guided my touch into a clumsy, awkward rhythm against that intimidating mound, over and over. It shouldn't have been enough to coax a reaction from me—fear alone should have overridden everything else. But …

With every hesitant caress, a tiny knot inside me began to tighten. Nerve endings I didn't even know existed sleepily stirred to life. I couldn't deny it; those humiliating gynecological exams had felt nothing like this.

This is disgusting, I insisted mournfully to myself.

It certainly felt disgusting …much the same way that sneaking down to the kitchen and eating a chocolate cake out of the fridge at midnight felt disgusting. That stuffing yourself with honey-glazed donuts kind of disgusting—the aching, guilty sort of pleasure that made you hate yourself.

Lying beneath Lisa, mind a whirl, I absolutely hated myself for the way my legs fell further apart.

She was relentless in her ministrations—just light teasing, circles over and over and over. If I hesitated, she simply increased the pace, deepening the contact until my traitorous body flooded with the conflicting sensations.

Ice collided with fire in a chaotic whirlwind of left, right, up, down, round and round until my mind seemed to scream silent commands I could never voice out loud: deeper, harder, more, more, more …

I was dizzy by the time she finally released my wrist and batted my fingers aside. One cold hand seized my waist, pinning me down, while the other began to tug my underwear down my legs.

I whimpered out a protest, too lightheaded to find real words. She was too heavy to resist and broad legs as hard as stone kept me from being able to fully close mine.

"Really, Jennie," she spat, yanking at my panties until they cleanly tore away. "This doesn't have to be a case of the 'big bad monster brutally taking the innocent virgin.' You have the power to end this debacle now; all you need to do is say the word and I'll allow you to fetch your checkbook and spare us both the trouble."

She sounded unbelievably annoyed. As if I should have been thanking her for allowing me the easy way out.

Again, when I made no move to leave, she hissed an irritated sigh, "Fine ...then lie still."

Biting my lip until I saw stars, I made myself stiff. Frozen. Dead.

No! The prude in me wailed, this isn't happening ...

But squeezing my eyes shut didn't make Lisa disappear. My Devil lingered, determined to carry out her strange mission to corrupt me—and for some insane, crazy reason, I couldn't find the voice to tell her to stop.

She was so cold without the warmth of my hand as a buffer. I flinched away from her touch instinctively, but then her forefinger came in a light, swift motion before the chill became too much.

Sparks shot up and down my spine. As if from far away, I heard myself gasp, but I couldn't slap a hand over my mouth in time to smother it.

The sound seemed to be all the encouragement Lisa needed, because her hand stilled. Then, one long finger curved, slipping through the heavy folds …

My entire body stiffened at the intrusion. I shouted, hands flying up to rain down blows over her shoulders, as I cursed her to hell and back.

Nothing fazed her. She was painfully solid, as if carved from granite, right down to the fingernails.

Ignoring my protests, she began to move, thrusting that single digit in, out, and around …harder each time until heat blossomed and swelled.

I tried to twist out of reach, but she was too strong, anchoring me in place, and I had no choice but to suffer every jolting sensation.

"Your clients won't take the time to do this beforehand," I heard her mutter, while that finger twisted, to rub against the inner parts of me. "So I suggest you take notes …"

Oh. My body went rigid, nails clutching the bed sheets. I gasped again.

This was horrifying, debasing, violating and …incredible.

Muscles I didn't even know I had sprang to life as they were stretched to the brink. Nerve endings flared and popped. Sizzled. Through it all, she kept moving; in and out—faster—until that odd heat continued to grow, surging through my skin.

Fire. Ice. Fire. Ice.

I was trapped in-between two polar opposites.

Suddenly Lisa pulled back. Was that a good thing? Or bad? I couldn't really remember ...

I frowned in confusion at a ripping sound, before I realized just what it was; a zipper being undone.

Her hand left my waist as she removed her pants one-handed, revealing muscled thighs that made me quiver at the thought of them pressed against me. Despite everything, I was struck by how beautiful she was up close—perfect—like a statue carved of ivory marble.

Who seemed to think that it was her grim 'chore' to 'deflower' me.

Her eyes flashed in warning when I unwittingly flinched in anticipation of what was about to come. Her hand was on my shoulder before I could even think to move, holding me down as her body settled over mine.

"It's like a Band-Aid, Jennie," I heard her growl somewhere above me. "It's better if you don't draw it out."

I could feel something cold and firm nudge that little cleft between my legs—God, was her entire body made of steel? I didn't even get the chance to scream or even mourn my threatened virginity. With one single thrust, she entered me—hard. The pain was sharp, like the shock that came from accidentally cutting your thumb on a knife. Deep inside, tender flesh burned as my body struggled to accept her. I shrieked but the sound was swallowed by the mattress squeaking beneath the sudden shift in weight.

Forget all those romantic little notions about fireworks and 'connection' and perfection—whatever nonsense romance novels proclaimed—this hurt.

She gave me no time to adjust before she moved in a series of hard, sharp jabs that pushed me deeper into the mattress.

Oh, God, oh God!

I squeezed my eyes shut and laid there, forcing down a scream with every thrust.

Like a Band-Aid, I told myself, a painful, enormous, 'deflowering' Band-Aid. Lisa was massive and I was splitting apart at the seams.

I waited for it to be over but, as if reading my mind, she only quickened her pace, swiveling her hips, pounding deeper, harder, faster, faster, driving my body to its breaking point.

I could hear the sharp sounds of skin hitting skin; my own labored pants; the violent creaking of the bed. Pain loomed overhead, urging me to scream. Run. Something!

But beneath it all …was something else; this tiny ball of heat that coiled with every thrust. Tighter. Harder. My entire body seemed to focus on this one building sensation, distracting me—even from the fear—until …

Every single thought blurred. I couldn't speak. I couldn't breathe. My only conscious action was to grab hold of the bed frame and cling to it.

With each stroke the knot in my belly tightened. Colors melded together. Senses sharpened.

Guilt or shame suddenly didn't matter anymore.

I was spiraling and I … I wanted more. Don't, I told myself even as my hips arched into her, body flexing against the mattress.

Above me, Lisa slowed her assault, eyes so dark they swallowed the shadows. Then she shifted, striking brutally in one long stroke.

A groan tore from my lips, and my back bowed, driving her even further.

She froze, gaze darkening into a color so black it seemed endless.

Eventually, she began to thrust again, violently, deep, deep, deeper. She was cruel, holding nothing back.

I was baking—burning alive—and she was dousing me in gasoline.

It was too much.

I couldn't … Something was … I needed …

Abruptly, she twisted, sparking a friction that had my head rolling back, eyes flickering beneath heavy eyelids.

Yes.

I broke apart.

My mouth flew open but nothing came out. Every nerve prickled, sparked, exploded.

Jennie Kim was gone—everything was just a collage of colors.

I was flying, falling, tumbling out of control.

For a minute, I was afraid that I would never be myself again—just a mess of disjointed emotions and fragile thoughts.

Then …it was over.

I couldn't see as Lisa rolled from on top of me. I felt breathless and lazy and weak, but when my vision finally cleared, she was gone …

And I was alone.