Part 1: Killing an Insane Luthor

In the simulator Me and Nico were doing an exercise and Lincoln and Linka, Vince and Carol were in the Control Room. The Simulator activated and we found ourselves in a prison hallway looking at a Lex Luthor that was ONE INSANE NUT! He was in a solitary confinement cell. He was being confronted by Batman.

Batman: Whatever you do, wherever you go, I will be watching you.

Lex: Oh, look at us. This is how it all caves in. Civilization on the Wayne Manor's out the window. But who would believe me? I...I. I'm insane. I'm not even fit to stand trial.

Batman: That's right. We have hospitals who treat the mentally ill with compassion. (Lex Chuckles Nervously) But that's not where you're going. I've arranged for you to get a transfer to Arkham Asylum in Gotham. I still have some friends there and they're expecting you.

Lex: But the bells already been rung.

In the halls we were waiting and I was loading a huge 50 caliber pistol.

Me: (whispering) Boy this Luthor is one seriously (Censored) up piece of (Censored).

Nico: (Whispering) Tell me about it. What are you gonna do to him?

Me: I have a special bullet with his name on it. It explodes on contact.

I pull out a 50 caliber bullet and carved on one side of the shell was his name Lex Luthor and the other side was B.I.H. and it had the star of Satan on it.

Me: This bullet has his name on one side and the other has B.I.H.

Nico: What does that stand for?

Me: It means Burn In Hell.

Nico: Nice.

Lex: And they've heard it. Out in the dark among the stars. Ding dong, the God is dead.

Batman punched the wall and burned a bat shape hole into it.

We go up to him.

Lex: The Bell cannot be un rung! He's hungry and he's found us and HE'S COMING!

Me: You would like that would you Lex?

Lex: Who are you?

Nico: You're executioners. And has anyone ever told you that you talk like Edward Nygma - the Riddler?

Me: We've come to kill you Lex.

Lex was laughing. I had my gun pointed right at his head in between his eyes and a laser was on him.

Lex: You can't kill me. I'm insane.

Me: You're worse than that Lex. You're one seriously (Censored) up piece of (Censored) (Censored). People like you deserve only one place and that's in the darkness of Hell, burning for all eternity. In my opinion, Arkham is too good for you and Eternal Damnation is what you deserve. Give my regards to the Devil when you see him and say hi to all the bad guys we killed.

I pulled the Trigger.

LOUD BANG!

The bullet blew his whole head right off his body and killed him instantly. Splattering his brain matter and blood all over the walls. His headless body fell to the floor and blood poured out of him.

Me: Burn in Hell you psychopathic (Censored) son of a (Censored).

I pick up the shell casing and we teleport out of there before the guards arrived and Nicole sealed him into the Book of Vile Darkness.

We left the Simulator and everyone cheered for us.

Lincoln: That was awesome J.D.!

Me: Thanks buddy.

Carol: That Lex Luthor was really screwed up.

Vince: No kidding but he deserved to be put out of his misery.

Me: He sure does.

Nico: You know J.D. it feels weird that we're defending Lex Luthor's image.

Me: It does but one Lex Luthor is plenty. The rest deserve to die.

Lincoln: You got that right. The Justice Lords Lex Luthor deserved to be killed.

Me: You said it buddy.

Nicole: He sure deserved it though.

Vince: Yep.

Part 2: Urban Ranger Camping.

Maria, Carmen, Jonny, Jimmy and Rolf are heading into the woods.

Maria: (To the Viewers) Rolf and the Urban Rangers are heading into the woods for their Camping excursion and I was asked to come along to make sure that Carmen is gonna be okay. It's her first time camping and as an older sister I have to look out for her.

They went into the forest and they set up all of camp. Rolf built a concrete brick chimney. Jimmy, Jonny and Maria were deciding where to place Rolf's chair.

Maria: How about right here Jimmy?

Jimmy: It's perfect Maria.

Carmen: I like it. Captain Rolf what do you think?

Rolf: It looks perfect there Rangerette Carmen. Now lets go start a campfire.

Carmen: Yes sir Captain Rolf.

Carmen pushed a lever and put a plug in and an artificial fire was on.

Rolf: Good work Rangerette Carmen.

Carmen: (Salutes) Thank you Captain Rolf.

Later that night they were sitting in front of the fire.

Jonny: There's something magical about flames that makes you want to stare at them all night huh Plank?

Carmen: You said it Jonny.

Maria: This is so much fun huh?

Rolf: You know what would be perfect for this Rangerette Carmen?

Carmen: What Captain Rolf?

Rolf: A good song.

Carmen: I have one, after a long day of camping, it's nice to unwind with a nice, relaxing campfire song. I call this one "The Campfire Song Song". Let's gather 'round the campfire, and sing our campfire song. Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song. And if you don't think that we can sing it faster, then you're wrong. But it'll help if you just sing along...

Jimmy: Bum! Bum! Bum!

All three: [Jonny slightly behind Jimmy and Carmen in the words] C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song!

Carmen: And if you don't think that we can sing it faster, then you're wrong! But it'll help if you just sing along...

Jonny: Sing another song...

Carmen: C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song! Jimmy!

Jimmy: SONG! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E...

Carmen: Maria and Jonny! [sings] Good! It'll help... it'll help... if you just sing along! [Carmen smashes his ukulele like a guitar at the end of a rock show. Jonny does the same with his drum set] Oh yeah! Ahh, now, wasn't that relaxing?

Maria: It sure was. You're a great singer Carmen.

Carmen: Thanks sis.

Rolf: And here's your badge for a great campfire song.

Carmen: Thanks Captain Rolf.

Maria: Lets see how it compares to this.

She pulls out a clarinet and plays.

Carmen: (Panics) Oh no! (Grabs a marshmallow) I'll save you sis!

She fires a marshmallow from a slingshot and it goes into Maria's mouth. Maria falls over.

Carmen runs over and grabs the Clarinet and tosses it away.

Carmen: Sis are you okay? That's it. That's it. Chew, chew and swallow.

Maria chews up the marshmallow and swallows it.

Carmen: There. Better?

Maria: Better!? I was just fine until you launched that ballistic junk food into my windpipe!

Carmen: But I had to! It's too dangerous to play the Clarinet badly out here in the wilderness. It might attract... (Into Maria's ear) A mutant bear.

Maria: A mutant bear? You mean like the ones on my favorite show Total Drama?

Carmen: That's right sis.

Jimmy: We saw them in the Gotham Royal York Enquirer. (Holds up said tabloid magazine)

Maria: "I married a Mutant Bear"?

Jonny: Yeah and Fake Science Monthly. (Holds up said Tabloid Magazine)

Maria: "Mutant and Unicorns are real"? That is really stupid. But 1) unicorns don't exist and 2) Mutant Bears only live on Wawanakwa Island on Lake Huron. They won't hear me play over here.

Carmen: Trust me sis. These bears have really strong and acute hearing. They can hear clarinet playing from a long distance away. They are no laughing matter. Why, once I met this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy's cousin...

Maria: Okay I get the point. In fact why don't you tell me all of the things I shouldn't do if I want to keep the Mutant Bears away.

Carmen: Okay that's easy. First off, don't play the Clarinet.

Maria: Okay. Then what?

Jimmy: Never wave your flashlight back and forth really fast.

Jonny: Flashlights are their natural prey.

Maria: You're kidding.

Carmen: Don't stomp around. They take that as a challenge.

Jonny: Yeah.

Maria: (Pulls out a notepad and writes) Go on.

Rolf: Don't ever eat cheese.

Maria: Sliced or cubed?

They whispered.

Carmen: Cubed. Sliced is safe.

Maria: Yeah. I'm listening.

Carmen: Never wear a sombrero...

Jimmy: In a goofy fashion.

Carmen: Or Clown Shoes.

Jimmy: Or a Hoop Skirt.

Rolf: And Never.

Jimmy: Ever.

Jonny: Ever!

Carmen: EVER!

CARMEN, JONNY, JIMMY AND ROLF: SCREECH LIKE A CHIMPANZEE!

What they didn't know was that Me, Nico, The Ed's, Luan, Spiderman and Tara were hiding in the trees watching the whole thing.

Maria: Wow! That's amazing how many things can set a mutant bear off!

Both: [huddling together, shuddering] They're horrible!

Maria: And... and suddenly I have the sense we're all in danger.

Both: Why?

Maria: I don't know... [runs off and returns with a flashlight, clown shoes, hoop skirt, sombrero, and tray full of cubed cheese; a diabolical look is on her face] Just a feeling!

Jonny: [horrified] No.

Maria: Yes.

Me: (Whispering) She wouldn't dare.

Jonny: No.

[Maria begins making chimp noises]

Carmen and Jimmy: Maria, please don't!

[Maria continues hooting, stomping, and waving flashlight around]

Carmen (glares at her older sister): Knock it off, sis! Have you ever considered that it might be true?

Jimmy: Jonny, what are we gonna do? A mutant bear's sure to come and eat us!

Jonny: Don't worry, Jimmy. I'll draw us an anti-mutant-bear circle in the dirt. [takes stick and draws circle around himself, Carmen, Plank, Jimmy, and Rolf]

Rolf: Good thinking, Ranger Jonny! (Pulls out another Tabloid Magazine) All the experts say it's the only defense against a mutant bear attack.

Carmen, Jonny, Rolf and Jimmy got into the circle.

Maria: (Laughs) You guys are so gullible. I did everything that attracts them and nothing happened. If a Mutant Bear was here, why didn't one show up?

Carmen: Maybe it's because you're not wearing your sombrero in a goofy fashion.

Maria: Oh. Sorry how silly of me. You mean like this? (She tilts it and laughs)

But something takes the Sombrero and puts it on her head upside-down.

The camera zooms out and they saw a big grizzly bear with six arms and it had a huge mouth in the middle of its stomach.

Eddy: (Whispering) That bear is ugly!

Luan: (Whispering) No kidding!

Ed: (Whispering) Is that you tickling me Eddy?

Eddy: Shut up Ed.

Edd: (Whispering) What a magnificent feat of science!

Me: (Whispering) That bear is the mascot for the Nuclear Bears on Total Drama.

Spiderman: (Whispering) Really?

Tara: (Whispering) That is amazing.

The bear growled and Maria screamed. The bear roared and she ran and the bear went at her and beat her up really bad and left.

Me: (Whispering) Ooh. That's gonna leave a mark.

Carmen: Sis are you okay?

Maria looked all broken, bruised and battered.

Carmen: Quick! Jump inside our anti-mutant-bear circle before he comes back!

Carmen, Rolf, Jimmy and Jonny carried their circle with them and drop it onto the ground.

Jimmy: Yeah. Mutant bears often attack more than once.

Maria: Are you crazy? A dirt circle won't stop that monster. I'm running for my life!

She ran.

All: No!

[the Mutant bear comes back and resumes mauling Maria]

Carmen: Don't run! Mutant bears hate that!

Maria: Thanks for the tip. I guess I'll just limp home, then.

All: No!

[the Mutant bear comes back and resumes mauling Maria]

Jonny: They hate limping more than running!

Maria: Well, I guess I'll just have...

[the Mutant bear comes back and resumes mauling Maria]

Rolf: We should have warned you about crawling.

[the mutant bear comes back and resumes mauling Maria]

Maria: What'd I do that time?

Carmen: I don't know sis! I guess he just doesn't like you.

Me: (Whispering) This bear hates Maria with a vengeance.

Tara: It sure does.

Jimmy: Pretend to be somebody else!

Carmen: Here sis, draw a circle. [tosses Maria the stick]

Maria: Okay.

[the Mutant bear comes back and resumes mauling Squidward]

Carmen: That was an oval. It has to be a circle!

Maria: [runs and climbs on top of Carmen, Jimmy, Jonny and Rolf, who are still sitting in the circle] Move over! [the Mutant bear comes up to the circle, sniffs it, points a threatening claw at Maria, and leaves] Hey, it worked! You guys saved my life! [everyone cheers "hooray"]

Rolf: Yeah, I'm glad it was just a Mutant bear. This circle would never hold back a Mutant rhinoceros!

Ed: (Whispers) Mutant Rhinoceros?

Maria: What attracts them?

Jimmy: The sound of a Mutant bear attack.

[a rhinoceros with 8 legs, two heads and razor sharp teeth appears, snorting]

Me: That is an ugly rhinoceros.

Edd: It sure is.

Me: I've seen enough.

We jump down I go into my gruesome monstrosity that I became on Halloween in 2016 and scared off the Mutant Rhinoceros.

I go back to normal.

Me: Are you all okay?

Rolf: J.D. That was awesome!

Me: Thanks Rolf.

We then went home and told everyone what went down. Varie was healing Maria in the infirmary. Maria was on a bed with bandages and casts on.

Robot Lori: You're a lucky girl Maria.

Maria: I know. But lets hope I never see another Mutant Bear again.

Me: I know Maria. But it's over now. That bear was from Total Drama Revenge of The Island. It was the mascot and symbol for the Nuclear Bears.

Maria: Really? I didn't know that.

Lincoln: Yeah. J.D. and Naruto have been on the 7th season of Total Drama and they both dominated the whole competition and won $1,000,000.00 in Canadian Money.

Laney: Which is $800,000.00 in America Money.

Maria: That's just small change compared to what we have here.

Me: My thoughts exactly.

Maria: What was your team name?

Me: We were called the Atomic Owls. We dominated the whole show. Chris is not having a mutant theme this time coming up. He's gonna have a World Tour and Me, Lynn, Naruto and Lincoln are gonna participate. It's gonna be awesome!

Lynn: And I can't wait. If there are any sore losers like Amy, Heather, Scott and Eva then we will gladly kick their butts.

Me: Yep. But the show is not for another 5 months. So we have all the time in the world.

Maria: Cool.

Robot Lori: I hope you all win J.D.

Me: Thanks Lori 2. Get some rest Maria.

Maria: Thank you J.D.

We left and Maria was watching T.V.

THE END

Another Fanfiction Complete.

NicoChan11 gave me the ideas for this one. Thanks for that man. The chapter is based off of An Ed in The Bush from Ed Edd N Eddy and The Camping Episode of SpongeBob Squarepants. They both were extremely funny. I wanted to start this chapter with a bang by killing the Lex Luthor from the 2016 movie Batman VS Superman. That movie was awesome but that Lex Luthor was insane to the core. He deserved to be shot and killed in my opinion. But Jesse Eisenberg did a great job in that movie along with Henry Cavill, Ben Affleck, Amy Adams, Gal Gabot and lots of awesome stars did a great job in that movie. Let me know what you all think.

See you all next time.