Author's Note:
Hello! It took longer than I thought it would (doesn't it always?) but I am properly back, hooray!
A bit of housekeeping before we get started. If you've clicked on this fic without reading the first one, this is a sequel and you do need to read Liebestraum if you want to understand what's going on. However, I have left this chapter pretty much spoiler free if you find yourself reading and become interested. After the first chapter though, sorry. You've been warned.
Second, I like to finish my fics before I start uploading them which means I post as I edit. Barring emergencies or other crazy unpredictable life stuff, you can expect at least a chapter a week (probably more when I have more time).
Third, this fic is rated M for...reasons. I will talk a little more about that at the end of the chapter. This one is safe though, don't worry.
Fourth, if you've been with me since Liebestraum and are coming back for this ride, thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you for still caring about these characters and Asuka's story. I know it's been a while.
Let's get to it!
Consolation
This work of fiction is dedicated to my dear friend Rosentic. Thank you for all the conversations, laughs, inspiration, and support. I'm so happy we became friends.
Chapter 01: Reprise (Or, return to the original theme)
Asuka looked out over a starlit lake so calm it reflected like ice. The colors above were bright and strange, almost as if the stars weren't stars at all, but something beyond a mortal's understanding.
Small twinkling orbs the size of fireflies colored in electric green, purple, and red surrounded Asuka. She held her hands out to them, amazed. The stars above—or whatever they were—brightened as the surrounding lights whirled.
A wind began blowing from the center of the lake and the bluster pushed Asuka's long, flowing chestnut hair directly behind her.
Suddenly, she was holding a baby.
A gong sounded.
Dong.
Dong.
-* ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ *-
Dong.
"… Ladies and gentlemen, if I can have your attention, please."
Asuka stirred in her reclined chair.
"We are beginning our final approach to Tokyo International airport. Please bring your seats upright, fasten your seatbelts, and put your tray tables in their lock positions. If you have trash, the stewards will go through the cabin shortly. Thank you very much for flying Japan Airways and we hope to see you again on another flight."
As the cabin lights turned on, the comm clicked off. Asuka blinked. That dream. Her heart panged with familiar longing.
Why? Why can't I…
"You must've been tired."
Asuka turned to find Kenji staring down at her with an amused expression.
She blinked again and then rubbed her eyes. "I guess so."
"And here I thought you'd be too excited to sleep."
Asuka smiled as she buried her feelings and pushed the button on the side of her chair to bring it upright. She stretched her hands overhead as she yawned.
Asuka and Kenji were just returning to Japan after their first international tour through the United States. It had been an unprecedented opportunity that came far sooner than they had expected.
The year before, the two school friends collaborated on a duet album and arranged all fourteen pieces from Camille Saint-Saëns' Carnival of the Animals for piano and cello. The classical music world met their album with enthusiasm, and because of its success and other achievements, requests for performances came flooding in. A tour through some of the biggest cities in the US was the result.
Asuka's favorite stop had been New York. She and Kenji played at Carnegie Hall and visited Julliard, where they did a series of lectures and small concerts for the students.
The entire tour was a dream come true and was an important milestone in her and Kenji's careers.
Except…they'd been gone from Japan for five full weeks.
A painful ache swelled in Asuka's chest.
Kurama couldn't be absent from work, which forced Asuka to leave him behind. They had never separated for more than a few days in their near ten years of marriage. She missed him more than she could bear.
"If I had a man like that waiting for me at home, I'd be too excited to sleep," a voice across the aisle snorted.
The voice belonged to Himari—Kenji and Asuka's manager. She was a middle-aged woman with shortly cropped graying hair that bobbed inward at the ends.
"Must you?" Kenji asked reproachfully.
Her eyes twinkled.
Himari didn't seem to care about social conventions or being polite. She'd been "after" Kurama ever since she'd signed Asuka three years ago. Her brazen flirting amused Kurama to no end, and both he and Asuka knew Himari wasn't serious. Himari loved her husband deeply, even if she pretended otherwise. That was just her way.
Kenji was less bothered by Himari's badgering than he seemed, because like Himari, he hated social conventions. Despite her quirky personality, Himari was a good friend to both musicians, and fiercely good at her job.
The steward walked down the plane aisle with a trash bag open. Asuka dropped an empty water bottle into the bag.
"Aren't you excited to get back to Mr. Sato?" Asuka teased.
Himari snorted again. "I know he's excited for me to be back. Knowing him, the only thing he ate for the last five weeks was packaged ramen."
Asuka smiled.
The plane accelerated.
"Crew, prepare for landing," the captain's voice said over the speaker.
Five weeks was far too long, my love.
Asuka desperately needed to feel Kurama's strong arms around her, snuggle into his bare chest, and feel him inside. Her heart pounded as memories floated across her mind. Their lovemaking had always been passionate, but Kurama had been particularly fervent their last night.
"I'll miss you, Love," he whispered after he made her orgasm for the second time.
"I'll miss you."
"This trip is so important for your career and I'm so proud of you," he said as he ran his fingers through her hair. "I'm only sorry I can't go with you. Come back safely to me."
Asuka swallowed. Couldn't this plane land any faster?
As if to answer her question, the wheels hit the tarmac. She felt the plane slow as the air rushed over the opened wings.
The intercom dinged. "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Tokyo. The local time is one PM. Please remain seated until the unfasten seatbelt sign is turned off. Please see the gate agent if you need information about a connecting flight. Thank you very much for flying with us, and again, welcome to Tokyo."
"Home at last," Kenji said.
Asuka whipped out her phone and turned it on. As soon as the screen loaded and it had a signal, she texted Kurama.
Asuka: Hi :-)
He replied immediately.
Kurama: Hello, Love. Are you in Japan?
Asuka: Yes, finally. We're still moving to the gate. Couldn't wait to text you
Kurama: I've been waiting for your message. My phone has gone everywhere with me today. Even a meeting
Asuka: I feel special
Kurama: You are
Asuka briefly closed her eyes to stave off tears. How was he so wonderful?
Asuka: What time will you be home? Not too late, I hope?
Kurama: I have client appointments late this afternoon, so I'll be home at 6:00. I was thinking of takeaway for dinner?
She paused for a moment. Right, it's a client day.
Part of Kurama's job entailed meeting with people as a stock market consultant. He was highly sought after for his expertise and, as a result, had high-profile clients.
Asuka frowned. Sometimes, understandably, his meetings with clients went late. But today she needed him to come home on time. If they held him up…
Nothing we can do. I'm sure Kurama feels the same as me.
She began typing again.
Asuka: Sounds perfect
Kurama: Curry?
Asuka: You know me too well :-)
Kurma: :-)
Asuka: I miss you…
Kurama: I miss YOU, Love. I've been…going a little crazy
Asuka bit her lip.
The time difference made it difficult to talk when Kurama wasn't at work, or she wasn't performing. Calls had to be made from the hotel since international cell phone calls were unreliable, and that made quick conversations between activities impossible.
This past week had been particularly busy, and to make matters worse, her flight had been delayed. She was supposed to get in last night, not during the workday.
Asuka: I'm home now. And I'm not going anywhere
Kurama: Well, I hope you get another opportunity for a tour. Perhaps Europe?
Asuka hesitated while she tried to find the right words. It was difficult to say everything she felt over text. She wanted to say something like, "I love you so much and your support means everything to me," and, "I know it's been hard," and, "It's okay if you need me. You can be selfish," and, "I need you more than anything," and, "I'm never leaving you for this long again," and…
Before she could get her thoughts in order, he texted again.
Kurama: But, I am glad you won't be leaving me for a while
Asuka sighed internally. They needed to be together without delay. When she saw him this evening, regardless of when he got home, she'd tell him—and show him—everything she felt.
Asuka: I can't wait to be with you and feel you in me again
Kurama: I've been aching for you. This morning I was laying in bed thinking about what I was going to do once I got a hold of you
Asuka: Which is?
Kurama: That, my love, is a secret
Asuka: tease :-P
Kurama: ;-)
Asuka smiled.
Kurama: As much as I want to keep texting you, I better get back to work. I have another meeting to prepare for. I love you
Kurama: Text me when you're through customs
Asuka: Sounds good. I love you
Kurama: Just a few more hours
Asuka: I'll be waiting for you
Asuka sighed, then closed her phone.
"Shuichi telling you he's going to run off with me?" Himari asked.
"And what if I told you that's what he said?" Asuka winked.
"Then I'd die of a heart attack right here. But I know better. I've seen the way he looks at you."
"And how does he look at me?"
"Like you're the most beautiful and important thing he's ever seen," Himari said seriously.
"At least she knows it," Kenji said.
Asuka brushed her finger over her rings. Only a few more hours. She turned toward Kenji and asked, "Are you looking forward to seeing Akira?"
"Very much so."
Asuka was glad Kenji felt that way, and that their partnership was going strong.
Kenji smiled, placed his hand over hers, and squeezed it in a silent "thank you".
After his mother's death, Kenji had lived alone, and his mental health had taken a significant nosedive. He needed to live with someone, despite his loner tendencies. Asuka encouraged Kenji to find people like himself—people who didn't experience romantic and sexual attraction—but still wanted long-term companionship.
After a few months on a forum, Kenji connected with one user in particular. And again, Asuka encouraged her friend to arrange a meetup. It had been difficult for Kenji, but he took the plunge.
Akira was a quiet and sunny man and several years older than Kenji. He worked as a computer programmer and enjoyed meeting with friends to play tabletop games. He was compassionate and gentle. The two hit it off and eventually moved in together.
It was a "deep friendship" Kenji told her. The kind he'd only experienced once before—with Asuka herself. Kenji and Akira loved each other and were happy to have companionship. It didn't matter if the world didn't understand their relationship.
"Tell him I say hello," Asuka said.
"Will do."
The plane stopped moving, and a few moments later, the seatbelt sign turned off.
The three travelers stood up. Himari yawned and stretched before she got her travel suitcase from the overhead bin.
Because Kenji's cello had specialized transport needs, they had traveled first class to make it easier. Not that Asuka complained. She felt more rested than she would've been otherwise. Plus, they were the first to disembark.
"Finally," Himari said when they'd gotten off the plane.
"That's a long line of people," Kenji said as they stopped at the customs check.
"Figures," Asuka said. She knew she shouldn't be impatient, but she just wanted to be home. She wanted to be in her apartment even if Kurama wasn't there yet. His faint scent of roses awaited.
Customs was busy. Asuka took out her iPod and unwound her headphones when she realized how long the line was. The wheel clicked as she moved her finger around the circle to find what she wanted. Norah Jones.
"My heart is drenched in wine…and you'll be on my mind…forever."
It took an entire album listen-through to get to the customs booth. Her feet ached from the ill-decided pumps.
"Name?" the agent asked.
Asuka took out her headphones. "Asuka Minamino." She handed the man her passport.
"Uh-huh. Wait." He looked at the photo, and then back up at Asuka. His eyes widened. "You're…the Asuka Minamino. The concert pianist? Yes?"
"I am! Wow. I didn't expect to get recognized."
"I adore your work," he gushed. "My wife and I have seasonal tickets to the Tokyo orchestra, and I always look forward to when you play."
"Thank you! I'm so grateful for the support. I'll be playing with the orchestra in an upcoming show. Say hello if you see me."
The man turned red and stamped her passport. "Mrs. Minamino? May…I have an autograph?"
"Sure thing. Do you have a paper?"
The man turned frantically around his station.
"I've got a notebook in my bag," Asuka said. "Is it okay for me to get it?"
"Oh! Yes. Yes, of course."
Asuka bent down and unzipped the travel suitcase she had with her, fished out a notebook and a fountain pen. She stood up and pushed her long hair behind her ear. "The name?"
"Hmmm?" the man asked.
"Who should I write it out to?"
"Oh!" he stammered, more flustered. "To…me and the Misses, please. That's Kenshiro and Niko Sato."
"Okay." Asuka signed the piece of paper. "Here you go!"
The man grabbed the paper and bowed. "Thank you, Mrs. Minamino. Welcome back to Japan."
"Thank you. It's good to be back!"
Asuka grabbed the handle of her suitcase and pulled it through the flap doors where Kenji and Himari were waiting.
"That took forever," Kenji said. "Everything okay?"
"Just fine. He recognized me and wanted an autograph."
"Ah," said Kenji.
"Did you charge him?" Himari asked.
"Himari!"
"What!"
Kenji sighed, and the three continued up to the main terminal.
"That took so long," Himari grumbled once they'd entered the main hub. "I need to pee. You two don't have to wait for me."
"I need to use the restroom as well," Kenji said.
"I don't, but I will wait for the two of you." Asuka put her suitcase upright.
"Alright," Himari said. "Be back in a few minutes." She and Kenji walked toward the bathrooms.
While Asuka waited, she took out her phone and texted Kurama that they'd made it through customs and would leave the airport shortly.
Asuka looked around. The airport was a busy mix of Japanese and foreigners this afternoon. The tax-free stores were packed with people trying to get last-minute goods and the restaurants were just getting cleaned up from their lunch rush.
A baby's sharp wail suddenly came into focus.
Asuka whipped her head to the sound and saw a mother swaying and shushing her small baby as she hurried toward the bathroom. The mother's harrowed face was worn thin from sleep deprivation and stress.
Asuka gripped the suitcase handle to rein in her emotions.
The baby's screams got louder as the mom passed Asuka.
"Poor woman," Himari muttered after she exited the bathroom. "Traveling with a baby must be terrible."
The screaming cries continued to echo from the bathroom.
Asuka didn't care how hard parenting looked; she wanted a baby more than anything. Her baby. Kurama's baby. Their baby—created from the wellspring of their love. They'd been trying to conceive for two years. Still nothing.
Asuka wanted to burst into tears.
No…don't think about it. Not now. It'll be okay. Now that I'm home, I can go see the fertility doctor. We can start trying again. It'll be okay…right?
Asuka had to tell herself that.
She and Kurama delayed seeing the fertility doctor until after she returned from her trip. Fertility treatment took time to start and couldn't be interrupted once it began. The decision had been made months ago, but Asuka still wanted to get pregnant the old-fashioned way. She wished for it right up until she left Japan and even carried a secret hope during her travels abroad. She loved to imagine Kurama's face when she returned, not just with herself, but with the news she was carrying their child.
Asuka knew that was a fantasy. When her period came on the trip, she sobbed in her hotel bathroom as she opened a tampon.
Why? Why body? Why must you always torment me? she thought bitterly.
Asuka, Kenji, and Himari made their way through the airport and exited into the chilled afternoon winter wind.
"Well, as fun as this was, I'm excited to wake up and not see you both tomorrow," Himari said as she pulled her coat tighter.
Kenji rolled his eyes but then said, "Thank you, Himari."
"You coming with us made everything go smoother," added Asuka. "Especially with that mix-up in San Antonio."
"It's my job to take care of both of you."
"Aw, we love you too," Asuka said.
"Give my regards to Akira, Kenji. And Asuka, tell that husband of yours he can run away with me anytime. I'm not getting any younger. Now, I'm off to see how messy our apartment is. Goodbye and goodbye."
Himari flagged down the nearest cab and grumbled impatiently while she waited for it to pull up. She stowed her suitcases in the trunk. Then, without speaking, she climbed into the cab and shut the door.
"Oh, Himari," Asuka sighed as she watched the cab drive away.
"Himari indeed," Kenji agreed.
Asuka turned to Kenji. "Do you have plans this evening?"
"Akira and I discussed getting some dinner before he goes to games tonight. I'll be too tired to accompany him. You?"
"Shuichi is getting home at six. I'll probably go home and nap so I can spend some time with him before I also crash."
"Good idea." Kenji smiled and gave her a hug. "I enjoyed going on tour with you, Asuka. We will have to do another collaboration album sometime soon. In the meantime, I'll see you next week?"
The Tokyo Symphony Orchestra was performing, and Asuka was going to play with them.
"Yep. I'll see you then."
"Have a good evening. Tell Shuichi I say hello."
"I will."
They parted ways. Asuka hailed a cab and stowed her things. It was a forty-five-minute drive to where they lived in Tokyo. She told the driver her address, leaned back, and closed her eyes.
-* ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ *-
"Miss?" the driver called.
Asuka jolted awake.
"We're here."
"Thank you." Asuka paid the cab driver and wished him well. She took her suitcases out of the trunk and headed inside the apartment building. She rode the elevator up and opened the door. "Finally home."
Asuka slipped off her shoes and put her suitcases upright before she bent down to the flowerpot which sat by the door. Her fingers brushed the top of the small yellow bud until it woke up.
"Hi there," she said cheerfully. "It's been a while, but I'm back!"
The flower gurgled happily as it rubbed itself on Asuka's palm.
"Did you take care of Kurama for me?"
The flower swayed.
"I see. Thank you for looking out for him. I'm going to put my stuff away now. I'm glad to see you again."
Asuka stood up, and the flower went back to its dormant state.
As Asuka walked down the hallway to their bedroom, her heart jolted. Something felt off. Their guard flower wasn't agitated, and it seemed like everything was in its usual spot.
But still. Something felt wrong.
Asuka peeked into the galley kitchen and found it looked normal. As she walked down the hallway, she brushed her hand along the wall. The agitation within her heart increased.
I better try.
Asuka closed her eyes, breathed outward, and let her yoski flow through her body.
Her power wasn't strong like it had been eleven years ago, but she could use her Insight ability in certain circumstances. Familiar places and people worked the best.
Tell me, Insight. What's wrong?
It was Kurama.
Insight showed her husband as if he were in front of her, in his Yoko form, stumbling down the hallway. He snarled and hit the wall with his fist.
In her vision, Kurama entered their bedroom and growled at the empty room. He looked out the window and narrowed his yellow eyes at the full moon. He paced frantically.
"Asuka," he groaned.
Kurama flung open the closet and grabbed fistfuls of her clothes. "Mine," he growled as he buried his face in them. "MINE."
Unable to watch him any longer, Asuka let the vision go.
Oh, Love. I'm so sorry.
After his text earlier, she had guessed his bio-rhythms had been out of whack, but to see him like that, in her mind's eye…
Her absence had made him so distressed.
Asuka swallowed. He must've known from the start this would happen. Her trip must've been torturous for him. It had also been difficult for her, but she kept busy with concerts and traveling. Kurama had been at home in their normal routine. It was worse for him, yet he genuinely hoped she'd get to travel again for her music. He knew how important her career was to her.
Asuka's heart ached.
Unsurprisingly, when she entered their bedroom, she found it spotless and her closet perfectly put back together.
There's no way I can sleep after watching Kurama in that state. I think I'll get unpacked and then freshen up.
She sorted her laundry, unpacked her deodorant and other essentials, plugged in her iPod, and then stowed her suitcases.
Asuka was in the bedroom when she heard the front door open.
It…couldn't be…could it? It was only three-thirty.
Asuka raced to the foyer. And there, to her astonishment, was her husband.
Kurama was wearing a double-breasted, deep gray peacoat that she'd never seen before with a gray tie that peaked out the top. His long, ruby hair fell forward as he bent down to slip off his shoes.
"Kurama?" she choked. "You're home so early."
Author's Note (again):
Hello again. Okay, so, some content warning.
M for sexy times. They're married, your honor (but even if they weren't, they would. It's a Tumblr joke). There's always a point to those scenes and this is not an erotica, but just letting people know ahead of time.
And yes, content warning because quite obviously, Asuka has a journey to go on with fertility here. So if that's something that's triggering, please be aware. Medical stuff can be triggering for people too, so also be aware. If that's you, know that I love you, even if I don't know you. Truly. I love you. Please be kind to yourself.
I have one more thing I want to tell you. In the time I was away I wrote a whole original novel which you can read on WattPad! It's called The Thread Between Danny and Me and it's about a girl who fell in love with her best friend as a teenager but some crazy circumstances forced them apart. Now an adult who just graduated with a Master's in architecture, Maria has to decide the best way to move on, and if second chances are possible.
If you do decide to read it, leave me a comment so I know you're from FF! I'll probably be promoting it as I post this fic. You've been warned :-)
I think that's it. Leave me a comment here as well if you feel so inclined. I'm so excited to hear from you all again. I've missed you.
-Arielle