DENIAL AND ITS SIDE EFFECTS
HashtagMC
Main Pairing: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy
Side Pairings: Ron Weasley/Hermione Granger, Dean Thomas/Seamus Finnigan
Spoilers: All novels from The Philosopher's Stone to The Deathly Hallows.
Warnings: EWE, possibility of OOC, probably irregular update schedule
Not a warning: Slash / yaoi / boy x boy / homosexual pairings / Don't like? Don't read!
Beta: hes-beauty-hes-jason-grace
Disclaimer:
Obviously, I do not own Harry Potter or anything related to it. It is the intellectual property of Joanne K. Rowling, and the copyright of her or her publishing company. I own nothing but the plot of this fanfiction and any OCs I might come up with. No money is made with this.
This is the very first story I write for the Harry Potter fandom, after I read first Harry Potter fanfics maybe a week ago. After reading one Harry/Draco fanfiction, I was immediately smitten with it. Since this is the first story in a new fandom, the characters might be OOC – I apologise in advance.
I have the plot of this story written down completely – 3.549 words in total – so I hope that there won't be a point when I have no idea how to continue the plot. Nonetheless, my update schedule will probably be highly irregular. I might finish a chapter within days, or it might take me two weeks – especially since I have three or four other stories in the Percy Jackson and the Olympians fandom running at the moment.
I will try to achieve longer chapters than I usually do – until now, average is 1–1.8k words, and I would like to achieve maybe minimum 2–3k words per chapter for this story. Also, there won't be indications of when the POV changes, so I hope you won't be confused.
Now, with this said – go ahead and enjoy reading this story! Remember, feedback, no matter whether it is praise or criticism, is always highly appreciated. Even just a simple 'cute' or 'liked it' is nice – it is, in my opinion, more personal than a simple favourite or follow.
— Hashtag
CHAPTER 1 – PROLOGUE
To say Draco Malfoy was surprised when the Ministry came to arrest his parents would be a lie. He was not. If anything, he was surprised that they didn't take him with them – if they needed another reason aside from the Dark Mark on his forearm, they could still charge him for assisting in the murder of Albus Dumbledore. But, according to the Ministry witches and wizards, someone had advocated for Draco. Of course, they didn't say any names, leaving Draco with the knowledge that he not only owed his life to Harry Potter, but also his freedom to an unknown saviour. Terrific.
To say the parting was tearful would also be a lie. Draco Lucius Malfoy was the heir to the Malfoy estate and future head of the family – or, what was left of the estate – and a Malfoy did not cry. He hadn't many tears left anyway, and he surely wouldn't waste them for his parents. The days in which his father was the centre of Draco's world were long gone, and for his mother – well, she'd be free in a few years. Draco hadn't attended the trial, but from what he'd heard, Potter had claimed that she had saved his life during the Battle for Hogwarts (as the press dubbed it). She'd most likely live with her relatives on the Continent as soon as she'd be discharged from Azkaban. Draco wouldn't have to worry about her. And after the war and everything that came with it, their wasn't much family left between them. Draco believed in the purity of blood, but said blood was all that connected him to his parents at the time being,
To say Draco Malfoy was surprised when the letter from Hogwarts arrived would be an understatement. He had expected to be an outcast for the rest of his life – acquitted or not, he had still fought for the Dark Lord – but he had not expected the Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry to invite him for an eighth year, so he could catch up on what he'd missed during his, ah, services for He-Whom-Shall-Not-Be-Named. Attached was the usual list of necessary items – robes, school books, ingredients for potions, and whatnot – and the letter concluded with the standard phrase they used for this letters.
Draco briefly considered burning the letter and forgetting about it, but the prospect of returning to Hogwarts proved to be too tempting. Not that he was that keen on completing his education – he could easily do this by hiring a private tutor. He could still vividly remember a conversation with Pansy during his sixth year – if his memory served Draco correctly, he had asked what he needed an education for when he was serving the Dark Lord. But times had changed, and even though nobody would employ a Malfoy, completing the N.E.W.T.s would certainly improve his chances.
Which was why he found himself in the Diagonal Alley at the end of August. It was the first time that he showed his face in public after the trial against him, and Draco was highly aware of the glances people gave him, and the hushed voices in which people talked about him. Once, a long time ago, he had believed that he belonged into this world, that his pure blood made him a king amongst these people. But now? In the eyes of these people, he had failed them, betrayed them. He no longer belonged here. It wasn't a secret that most people would rather have him in Azkaban. Sure, there were those who took pity on him, saying that he'd been forced or talked into joining the Dark Lord, that he hadn't been old enough to understand the consequences of his actions. Bullshit. Draco would much rather suffer in Azkaban than be pitied. A Malfoy might stoop low, but a Malfoy did not need pity.
Thus, Draco ignored the pointed looks and without hesitation stepped into one store after another, chalking item after item off of his list. Books, ingredients, feather quills, until only one thing was left. A new wardrobe. Draco had the distinct feeling that wearing his black robes with the Malfoy insignia on it would be a very bad idea. He did not intend to test his fellow wizards' patience.
Fellow wizards, Draco thought as he headed to Madam Malkin's. This term was new. He used to subconsciously sort his fellow wizards into different categories, based on the purity of their blood, whom their family were, whom they socialised with. Then, during the war, he had sorted people into ally, enemy or neutral. But now… what was the point of doing so? Those categories had ceased to exist. There still were enemies, but not the kind of enemy who would try and murder him. There still were neutrals, or at least people who begrudgingly accepted the fact that he was not imprisoned. There were no allies. Nobody in their right mind would put up with the son of Lucius Malfoy, not if they cared the slightest bit about their reputation.
— Denial and its Side Effects —
To say Harry Potter was surprised when Draco Malfoy was acquitted would be a lie. He had somewhat expected it. Malfoy's lawyer had done a great job, and the judge couldn't ignore the fact that for Malfoy, the choice had been either join the Death Eaters, or die a gruesome death after you've watched your family die. Malfoy had never had a choice in but to comply with Voldemort's orders, and Harry had seen what this meant to Malfoy first-hand when he'd witnessed the other boy's breakdown in Myrtle's toiled. Malfoy had known what was coming, and it had broken him. It was a miracle he was still sane.
To say Harry Potter was relieved when Draco Malfoy was acquitted would be the truth. He had hoped so. He had no idea what had driven him to turn around and save Malfoy's life when Goyle had set the Room of Requirements on fire, but he had not regretted it. Malfoy had his whole life left to live. Despite from what an asshole Malfoy was, he didn't deserve to die. And, Harry felt like he owed Malfoy. He knew for sure that Malfoy had recognised him at the Malfoy Mansion, but he had not turned him in. Whatever traces of morale were left inside Malfoy, they would have died as soon as he would have been sent to Azkaban.
To say Harry Potter was looking forward to going back to Hogwarts would be true as well. He had been AWOL during the whole seventh year, in order to find and destroy Horcruxes, save the world from a new dark era, find a way to kill Lord Voldemort, and avoid getting killed himself in the process. He had no idea what he wanted to do now – he no longer wanted to be an Auror, he had dealt with enough Dark Magic for the rest of his life – and most people would love to employ him, no matter what his grades were, but Hermione was right, he did need to catch up on missed education. And spending another year at Hogwarts meant he had another year until he had to make decisions like where he wanted to live and how he wanted to earn his money. And, Harry somewhat hoped that at Hogwarts, he would rather be Harry Potter instead of the Boy Who Lived Twice.
To say Harry Potter was surprised when he stepped into Madam Malkin's to buy himself new robes and found himself face to face with Draco Malfoy would be a shameless understatement. He hadn't heard anything of Malfoy once the commotion about the former Death Eater not being sent to Azkaban had died down. But right, even Malfoy couldn't hide in his mansion forever. Harry figured that probably, Malfoy would feel lonely, sitting all alone in an empty mansion, filled with memories of his parents and his time as a Death Eater. Maybe even Malfoy could feel the need to be amongst other people. This theory, however, crumbled as soon as the other wizard spoke up.
'Hogwarts, too?'
— Denial and its Side Effects —
Not for the first time, Draco Malfoy wished he would have burned the letter from Hogwarts. Of course students would stare at him as he dragged his bag along with him towards the Hogwarts Express. Of course parents would send him resentful or scared looks when he walked past them and their children. Of course insults would be whispered at him, andof course rumours about Draco Malfoy attending Hogwarts again would be spread within minutes. Even people who used to call themselves his friends now avoided him or threw dirty looks at him. Now, stripped of the power he'd once had, bearing a name that was associated with disgrace rather than influence, everybody had abandoned him.
If it weren't about him but anyone else, it would be rather funny, Draco thought. Or at least, he would have found it funny it he still were the same boy he used to be, before the whole mess with You-Know-Who. Eight years ago, he had been here, excited at the prospect of finally joining the house Slytherin, and back then, he had seized every opportunity to make fun of people. His eight-year old self would surely laugh at his current situation. The fallen king.
Eight years ago, Draco had snorted at the sight of the red locomotive. Red, as in, Gryffindor-coloured. Why couldn't it be green? Eight years before, he had thought Slytherin ought to rule all the other houses and show them just how much worthier slyness was than courage or studying. Now he thought different. As much as he appreciated typical Slytherin traits – power play, slyness, a sense of self-preservation – he had to admit that, if it weren't for the cleverness of a certain Ravenclaw, or the bravery of a bunch of Gryffindor's, the world would be ruled by the Dark Lord now. And if it weren't for the courage of a single, well-known Gryffindor, Draco would be dead by now. He had despised Harry Potter ever since Potter had refused his offer of friendship eight years ago, but he guessed he was supposed to be grateful. He owed his life to the spoiled brat.
Draco wasn't surprised when nobody wanted to sit in the compartment of the train he was sitting in. He didn't care, this was he had the whole room for himself, with no one annoying him. Or that was what he tried to tell himself. A Malfoy didn't need anybody to keep him company.
— Denial and its Side Effects —
By now, Hermione, Harry and Ron had searched through the whole train, but almost all compartments were occupied. Sure, the better part of the students would have loved to share a room with the Saviour of the Wizarding World and his friends, especially first- and second-years, but Harry felt nauseous at the thought of being in the same room as a bunch of hysterically giggling girls, or eleven-year-olds staring at his scar. A handful of their friends shared a room – Dean, Seamus, Neville, Ginny, Luna – and they had offered for Harry to sit with them, but the room was full, and Harry didn't want anybody to have to sit uncomfortably or leave the room just so he could sit there as well.
Harry inwardly groaned when they walked past another door, behind which a group of Ravenclaw girls sat, giggling ancvx waving as Harry passed by them. His break-up with Ginny wasn't official yet, but even if it was, did these girls think their chances were higher if they annoyed him to death?
Yeah, Ginny. They had parted after the war. There had been a time when he had really loved her, but whatever spark his heart had held for her, it was gone. He had realised this when she had left for the Burrow while he had stayed at Hogwarts for two more weeks, and hadn't missed her. Not the way he used to, anyway. Or when he had caught himself thinking of her as a friend, without the prefix girl. That had been the sign for him that he needed to end this, otherwise he'd be leading her on. He had done so the very day he had arrived at the Burrow, and to Harry's immeasurable relief, Ginny had not reacted as badly as he had feared. She had cried, yes, and he had apologised for hurting her, but she had refused his apology, saying he couldn't really apologise for something he had no control over. She couldn't force him to love her, and thus had to let go. Harry had felt indescribably grateful to have such an understanding ex-girlfriend. He still loved her, but in a definitely platonic way, a brother/sister way.
Ron had been furious, though. He had only begrudgingly 'allowed' them to be together – and Harry knew, he would have never dared to date Ginny if it would have meant to lose Ron as a friend – and now, as Ron saw it, Harry had dumped her. It took Hermione two whole weeks to talk some sense into him and disabuse him from wringing Harry's neck, and another two weeks before he had talked to Harry again. He had sheepishly apologised for his fit at the end of the Summer Break.
And the rest of the Weasley family hadn't held it against Harry, either. Not for the first time, Harry was glad to somewhat be a part of this family, by all but blood. He had virtually been adopted by Mrs. and Mr. Weasley the first time he had set foot in the Burrow.
Finally, the three of them found an almost empty compartment in the last train car. It was unoccupied except for one person—
'Malfoy,' Ron groaned. Harry ignored him and instead slid open the door.
'May we sit here?'
Malfoy briefly looked up, then shrugged.
'Whatever, Potter.'