This is an idea I had for a long time. It took me ages to sit down and sort it out.

English is not my native language. I´m a huge fan of Harry Potter and Narnia and wanted to read a crossover of both series.

I listened to Iron Within Temptation. Funnily enough, I was listening to this and Niji (Naruto Ed 28, If I´m not mistaken)

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K Rowling and she´s awesome. Narnia belongs to C.S Lewis. (No money for me, just the fun of writing this)

She stared at the graves with a stony resolution and a resentful heart.

Completely alone on this earth, having just buried all of her immediate family and feeling dejected, abandoned. How on earth did her family decided to take that damned train? All at once? Whose idea was that ended in doom? Her siblings were sold on the idea, completely on board with holding hope about something they couldn't grasp or even see again.

And they had the gall to be angry at her about it… or… disappointed when she rejected to be a part of it.

Well, hell, what was she supposed to do? Wallop in a self-pity party and be miserable about something she couldn't have and put on an act about being selfless and worried about someone she hated?

Oh, she was full of hate. Alright.

She hated that damned God wannabe that showed her how paradise was supposed to be, just to take it all away and leave her stranded in a hopeless land.

The cruelty of it all. What could she do about a place she wasn't allowed in? she just didn't see the point of the club, the meetings and… call her egoist but she couldn't care a damn about something she´d never have again.

No one knew about her struggles, just the outmost part of it all. The tears and the bags under her eyes were obvious… but, what about her memories?

A lifetime ago, in another world, she was a queen that had everything at her disposal, a queen along with her sibling. An ever green country full of live, where everything was new and bright and… innocent.

Magnificent.

Thinking of that word stung, now… shed never be able to hear the words Magnificent, Just or Brave without thinking of her siblings, what she lost…

She had lost it all now.

…

That was only the start of her problems… and the beginning of her journey.

Alone and lost in the world, a lot of people took advantage of her. Her beauty was the only thing people appreciated, the attribute males raved about and other women despised her for having. But beautiful as she was, she discovered there wasn't so much she could do to achieve her goals. Where to start? How do you get into another world? Is there even such a thing as magic that isn't a scam or parlor tricks? Death was irreversible even there. So, seeing her family ever again was out even before the start.

She didn't want to be admitted in a mental facility… so, she did the logical thing, she married a rich man. Money opened all doors and found all answers… right?

Her husband wasn't so fond of her efforts, but she was adamant. It was her life purpose.

So they reached a compromise, discretion was paramount, she couldn't be seen in "questionable places or with questionable people" it wasn't something she found unbearable (she wanted to keep a good reputation too, mind you)

But then, he wanted a child.

Well, she never wanted to be a mother. A child left a mark on anybody, her only asset was her beauty and she wasn't about to spoil it. If he wanted to amuse himself elsewhere… and get another girl pregnant… good for him.

She had enough money stored away, she wasn't just a pretty face, even if that´s how people saw her. Long ago, a lifetime ago, she was known as "Gentle" yeah, right now that was another word she hated. What´s the use of all that gentleness?

As "egotistical" as it was, she was a woman that wanted no child. Her family was dead and buried, end of discussion. It was easy enough to be on birth control and keep it a secret. Specially with a husband that wanted no part on home administration, she hired the personnel and she was law. No one dared to try and out her to her husband if they knew what was best for them. She could make it so they´d end up starving to death without possibility of ever getting hired again.

So, she conducted her search, the eternal quest for a real magic user that could help her.

After what seemed a never-ending supply of fakes… she found someone that knew.

Not about her place, but they knew magic, or as close as magic ever got on this hell hole.

Even if she couldn't get her family back, or even get a glimpse of that other world again.

She was tired of being a pawn on a chess board. She wouldn't beg.

Enough of that, she had begged enough times, for nights on end, to go back to what she had, to the life of queen Susan the Gentle, among her lovely narnians she so adored, the people she and her brother fought so hard for… just to have the rug pulled beneath their feet and end up stuck on this cold mockery of a long lost paradise. This world… it was sterile when you compared it to what Narnia was.

It was a punishment to be back here after experiencing such a paradise…

An underserved punishment at that. She wanted to go back in time, lock up everyone (herself included) and never go looking for that white stag. But when your opponent was a God…

Did you ever have a chance?

Aslan, God, Jesus, whatever name he wanted to adopt, or even if Gods as a whole were as abundant as humans, her prayers fell on deaf ears, never answered.

Helpless, hopeless, alone, lost and full of resentment, she swore.

Never again. Even if she couldn't be queen anymore, she wouldn't conform to what others wanted.

Screw God and his will for all she cared. She didn't deserve what she got, and she´d be damned if she took it lying down. That was for cowards, and she definitely wasn't one.

…

Magic was a fickle thing, on this world at least… it was a dying flame, more of ember than a flame if you asked her.

She stared at the snow covering her backyard. Alone and old, she wasted away locked up at home. Money wasn't a problem, but time was of essence and she felt betrayed. She was wasting away and wasn't even close to finding the answers she so wanted.

She didn't have an idea of what happened after death. When she lived in that other world, she left on her prime, she was born and lived on this gray world for a lifetime but she wasn't even close to understand how things worked. And in order to get out and go elsewhere… she needed to find that answer, after all of her efforts, if she ended up dead and buried beside her long lost family members… pissed off would be an understatement of her fury.

She searched everywhere she could think of, for glimpses and pieces of that other world…for a path to another land where magic thrived and spells worked. Maybe then, she could get what she longed for.

There wasn't much left on this land, not something that worked anyways.

If her siblings had something on the day they died, it was long lost….

That's when it started, she saw a stain on the snow, her eyes drawn on it as if it held the answers she looked for…

Susan Pevensie died sitting on a rocking chair, beside her window… her face was a mask of horror, despair, and fury.