If she thought about it, it was rather unbelievable how this whole mess had started because of a dress, the damned thing. At least she could take solace in the fact that the hideous thing now laid at the bottom of the sea, hopefully never to be seen again.
Her father's fashion sense was seriously appalling, Elizabeth swore to never again permit him to be left alone to the counsel of those ignorant, boring old men he deigned to call friends. It always irked her how aristocrat men thought themselves so well-informed in the way of women and their preferences in just about everything: knowledge, interests, and of course dresswear.
She had never particularly cared for them, but their suggestions, while unwanted, had been mostly harmless: "Miss Swann, why don't you try smiling more? You would look even lovelier" or "Why don´t you go sit with the other ladies while we men talk about real business dear?" always irksome, but never ill intended.
Nevertheless, at this moment, she couldn't help but blame them and their stupid advice. This was all their fault, theirs and that stupid dress.
She knew it was silly, but at this moment she couldn't do anything else besides try to look for someone to blame for this mess.
She still could not understand how things ended up like this: her newly appointed fiancée pointing a sword at the man she had fancied since childhood, cared for since the day she first spotted the sole survivor of that shipwreck. Will stood tall and proud, locked in a stare competition with the Commodore and blocking his path to Jack, even while there was a sword pointed at his neck.
Jack Sparrow, that man saved her and then caused nothing but troubles afterwards. Even now, after spending some time with him, she could not decide whether she liked him more than she disliked him. But it was undeniable that he was a good man, and he had saved her from death, her and Will.
"He is a pirate" her father reproached Will
"And a good man" he insisted, determinedly looking at both her father and James.
She could tell how truly angry the Commodore was right now and she had to do something, otherwise the gallows would see two occupants today instead of one. But just as she resolved to move forward and step between Will, Jack and the dozens of guns surrounding them; the Commodore´s head veered her way. As if he had predicted she would try to intervene, he locked eyes with her. His blazing glare, now directed at her warned her against interference, it refrained her from moving but she was sending an equally intense glare of her own right back at him.
"Those men saved my life Commodore" she reminded him fiercely.
James just kept looking at her, the intensity in his eyes had not diminished, but he had not given any orders yet. He seemed to be searching for some kind of answer in her eyes and she would not relent or be cowed by him, she needed to save Jack and Will.
When he finally spoke, he was still looking at nothing but her, although his words were clearly not meant for her "You would put her at risk in this way?" he questioned gravely.
Will was clenching his jaw, after a brief glance her way he declared "I could never do so. She is not mine to do so. And she has nothing to do with this"
That made her finally break her eye contact with the Commodore and turn to look at Will, those words hurt her deeply. Had he not professed his love for her but a moment ago? She was fighting for him, for them and he was giving her up so easily?
But Will wasn't looking at her, he was looking at James who had turned to witness the exchange between her and Will, or more like her trying to no avail to make eye contact with Will. Why won't he look at her?
"If all I have achieved here is that the hangman will earn two pairs of boots instead of one, so be it. At least my conscience will be clear"
That as it turns out, was the wrong thing to say, as it only seemed to make the Commodore angrier "You forget you place Turner" was his only response, while he pressed the sword deeper into Will's neck. He was drawing blood now.
This could not go on, at this pace, Will would get himself killed before he could even make it to the gallows.
She made a second attempt to intervene, but by now even her father had realized her intentions and before she did anything, he had grabbed a firm hold of her "Elizabeth, enough!" he ordered her sternly.
She wanted to protest, to make him understand, but when she turned to look at him, she saw not only the anger but the concern and the love as well. She couldn't do that to her father, couldn´t declare herself on the side of pirates in front of the entire Royal Navy at Port Royal.
So then she redirected her gaze to her only other option, she turned to Jack, desperately begging him to do something, to pull one more of his asinine but incredibly effective stunts. He has a plan right? The rake always seems to have one... But Jack was not looking at her, he was not even looking around at all the guns pointing at him, no, he was looking at the sky and… the bastard was smiling at it!
When he finally looked down, Jack looked directly at her and nodded. Somehow she understood, and while she couldn't believe she was trying this again, and twice in the same day at that. She determinedly took a step towards the Commodore, grabbed hold of the sleeve of his broadcloth coat and uttered in a faint voice "James I… I think I´m gonna…" and then she let go of her entire weight against him.
The Commodore instantly dropped his sword in order to catch her, while her father screamed her name in surprise. The distraction was enough for all the soldiers to lower their guards for long enough to allow Jack to get a hold of the back of Will's shirt and run towards the same edge of which she had fallen on the fateful day they met.
Jack was grinning like a cat while Will struggled to get free of Jack´s hold on his neck.
Elizabeth had stopped her pretence of illness and was now clinging strongly to the Commodore in order to immobilize him.
But everyone else present had stopped looking at her and was staring at the duo on the edge of the battlements.
Jack ignored Will´s struggle while he declared airily "This will be the day you´ll always remember as the day…" "Jack! What in the…!" Will tried to say, but Jack continued talking over him without even pausing "that you almost..." and that was when Jack lost his footing and went careening backwards towards the edge leaving Will alone... who took a quick glance down at the sea -where Jack had fallen- then another one at all the soldiers currently surrounding him and… jumped after Jack.
Elizabeth was barely able to supress her frightened scream when she saw him jump, that would just make it worse for her.
All the soldiers ran to the edge glancing down to see if the fugitives had survived the fall. They had, she guessed with relieve by the way the Lieutenant mocked them with "Idiots, they have nowhere to go but back to the noose"
Now that she wasn't pretending to be unconscious, the Commodore deemed it safe to let her stand on her own, but he did not move away from her.
Just as Elizabeth started to formulate a plan in order to help them escape again, one of the soldiers shouted "Ship!" while pointing to the horizon. Then she saw it. It was not just any ship, it was The Black Pearl, those pirates had come back to save him... to save them, she amended.
The Lieutenant turned around and looked expectantly at the Commodore "Orders, Sir!?"
Elizabeth also turned to look at him and firmly clung to his hand. His attention was on her now, as she begged him with her eyes to let them go this time.
"Sir, your orders?" Gillet inquired once more, this time with more caution.
James finally turned away from her and declared "The Dauntless is not ready to sail in order to give chase to a ship that fast today" Elizabeth felt relief carry through her entire being as he continued "We will be leaving tomorrow morning, be sure to gather the men, and prepare enough rations to last for a long voyage. I sense this will be a rather drawn out persecution" he remarked
"Yes, sir!" Gillet responded and turned to look at the other men before nodding and sending the soldiers back to their usual posts. Everyone else who had attended started leaving the battlements as well, now that it was clear there would be no execution happening today.
Elizabeth´s eyes trailed after the soldiers as they left, better than the alternative: stare at Jack and Will as they swam away. James followed her example silently.
After all his men left and they were left alone he finally turned to her "We need to talk, Elizabeth" his face was devoid of any expression, but he was clutching his jaw hard enough for the muscles on his cheeks to be twitching.
Of course she knew they had to, but she didn't know what to say. She was only starting to process what had happened. Will and Jack are gone, they´re gone and they left you behind! That´s what happened! her mind supplied uselessly. She sighed "If you come by my Father's house later in the afternoon…"
James surprised her by interrupting with "Now would be preferable, Miss Swann" He wasn't being disagreeable but the abruptness was unexpected.
And that was the moment her father chose to return from mollifying and dismissing every other person in attendance who was not a part of the Royal Navy "Elizabeth dear, let's go home now" her father extended his arm for her to take, she was tempted to, but she knew the Commodore wouldn´t yield his request that easily. Before she could tell her father she needed to have a moment with the Commodore, James intervened.
"If I may Governor" the Commodore locked eyes with her father, who looked at James with sympathetic eyes. "There are some matters I need to discuss with your daughter before I depart tomorrow. In private" James was being courteous but he was not leaving room for argument.
Her Father seemed to understand what matters he was referring to because soon after he agreed with "Of course Commodore, I understand"
"I will personally see to her safe return to King's Manor" the Commodore promised with a small bow.
His father gave him a sad smile, "very well" he added before taking his leave, leaving them alone.
The Commodore turned and walked towards the same edge of the battlement that Jack and Will had been standing on before they escaped and looked down, but did not say anything. He just stared with a severe expression. Her curiosity grew too much to bear, finally moving to join him at the ledge.
Now she had a full unobstructed view of the sea below. At last, she realized Will and Jack were nowhere to be found anymore. In the horizon she could see The Black Pearl beginning to pull away from view; it was indeed a beautiful day, the sun was up and shining brightly no hint of clouds in the sky and the ocean was clear.
Her heart gave one painful squeeze but she tried not to let it show on her face. The Commodore eyes were trailing after the ship, same as hers but for clearly different reasons. Another couple of minutes passed in complete silence, they were still not looking at each other.
"Did you know?" he finally questioned her, his voice was drawn tight.
The sound of his voice startled her so much she gave a small jump before turning to look at him. Although her brain was only capable of supplying her with a brilliant "What?" She didn't know what he was talking about and he still wasn't looking at her.
But now she was looking his way and his expression was clear: his eyes were looking down, his eyebrows touching, his lips drawn in a thin line. The look of utter dejection made her feel even worse than she already was.
"I am not stupid, nor am I blind Miss Swann… But I might have been before" In spite of the defeat on his tone, James held his frame tall and proud. Ever the soldier, she couldn't help but realize. As he continued with a small miserable smile forming on his face "I might have been too proud and too eager to realize earlier what I can see clearly now…"
He paused before taking a deep breath, gathering himself. Then he turned to face her completely "That your heart was never mine" and as he held her gaze in his, she could now recognize the harm she had inflicted upon him.
She could see all the hurt and all the… love he had for her, plainly displayed in those clear, green pools that closely resembled the colour of the ocean.
She couldn't speak, she couldn't even think.
James just continued, eyes firmly on hers "As I find myself understanding that my proposal was never welcomed, nor wanted" he finished, his voice wavering a little at the last word.
She really could not take anymore of this, so she averted her gaze towards the ocean. She hadn't wanted to marry him, it's true, but she also had never wanted to hurt him this way. Her interest had always been on Will, and while for a moment it had been reciprocated… Will was gone and he was never coming back -could never come back.- So here she was now, alone and overwhelmed by emotions she didn't understand.
Again, there was nothing but a long silence between them.
"Please be honest this time Elizabeth" there was a note of pleading in his voice. The implication that he believed her to be a liar stung her, although she supposed she had no one to blame but herself.
"Did you help Turner plan this?" his hands became fists.
At least in this instance, she couldn´t disappoint him any further. Her eyes went back to his and with as much sincerity as she could gather she replied "I did not help him, and I had no idea what Will was planning to do" she really had not know what Will was going to do.
"But you would have" there was no question there, only resignation. He was probably not wrong, if she had known, she would have tried to help them. There was no point in confirming it, she did not want to antagonize him so she remained quiet. Still, it was hard to ignore the hint of betrayal reflected in his eyes.
"Is that where your heart truly lies?" he asked after another moment, nodding towards the retreating ship -it was barely visible now- but there was no condemnation in his voice.
She took a sharp inhale, she had been doing her best to ignore the retreating ship. Why was he so insistent on pointing it out? Was he trying to hurt her back?
"He's gone now" she answered brusquely
"That's not really what I asked, is it Miss Swann?" now he was just looking at her sadly. "It is not what I want to know" he insisted.
Her temper flared, she was getting frustrated at him "What exactly is it that you want to know then!?" she exclaimed, balling her fists and feeling her eyes sting.
"Do you love him?" he asked, in a way that made it clear he already knew the answer.
Her breath hitched at the question. Does she? A moment ago she was sure she did. The moment Will confessed, she had felt her heart flutter with happiness, she thought that all of her efforts had finally paid off. For a long time she had wanted to earn Will's affections, and for a moment, she had. But now Will was gone, he had left her and he would not be coming back. There was no point in holding onto her feelings of youth but… "For a moment I did" she was finally able to admit.
In that moment, she realized how this was the first time she had ever been allowed to express her feelings out loud. Not even her Father, as dear as she was to him, had allowed her to entertain those kinds of feelings towards a blacksmith.
Her gaze dropped as a couple of tears fell from her eyes. Surely she could be allowed this much, right? She would mourn her loss of Will Turner today and then forget about him forever. That would be fair, would it not?
Neither was looking at the other, or more like Elizabeth couldn't look him in the eye as she spilled tears for the loss of another man. So she was the one that didn´t know if he was looking at her.
That's when she saw his hand move forward, offering a handkerchief silently.
She understood quickly. Even under these circumstances, he was trying to care for her and give her some privacy to calm down, she realized bitterly. So she accepted the proffered offering without complaint and used it to dry her eyes.
When he spoke again, using a tone that was much more like his usual self, the Commodore added "You have a choice"
Once more she was completely lost. "Pardon?"
"On the ship, when I expressed my concern about your acceptance, I was being sincere Elizabeth. I wanted your hand given unconditionally" he reminded her "If you did not wish to marry me from the beginning, why did you lie to me?" She asked herself that too afterwards, and the only reason she could think of was that she couldn't risk it. She could not let Will's life depend on the Commodore´s word.
And it was unfair of him, she had not had another choice! She answered back brusquely "You only gave the order after I agreed to your proposal!" she couldn't help but question him "Had I been honest, would you truly have kept the course and rescued Will!?"
He didn't react immediately but when he did, she could only regret asking.
"Do you think so very little of me!? I had already ordered Turner´s rescue for you! I went against the Governor for you, Elizabeth!" he almost growled at her. Then he paused to take a deep breath and continued in a more subdued tone "I would have done anything you asked, even if it wasn't what I wanted"
She really didn't know what to answer to that. It wasn't that she doubted the Commodore´s word she belatedly realized. It was the fact that, had it been her in his position… she probably would not have helped, she flinched at the thought.
Even when she knew him to be a man of his word, she still had not been able to trust him to honour it, another insult to his person then. "I am sorry" she apologized, because she truly was. Then she tried to comfort him "I was sincere too, you are a fine man Commodore"
He smiled briefly, no joy behind it "Now I certainly understand my slight, that word is starting to sound like an insult Miss Swann"
That made her angry now, she was trying to apologize to him! Yes, she did lie! And she may have been at fault, but it wasn't all her fault! Those stupid pirates and that stupid Jack! stupid Will! stupid him!
"If you had let Jack go the first time he saved me, none of this would have happened! You ignored my request to let him go, even when you knew he was the one that saved my life!" She tried to defend her actions, although she was not sure why it was so important for her to do so.
"You did not listen to me then! You were too intent on making justice" she emphasized mockingly. He had always been vehement about the treatment every pirate deserved, no matter the circumstances, no matter how they had saved her life on more than one occasion, no matter how she… felt about them. "Why should I have trusted this time would have been different!?"
That made his temper flare "As I told you before, one good deed is not enough to redeem a man of a lifetime of wickedness!" he argued with conviction.
"He saved me twice! They both did! And you would not do anything to help them!" her voice was getting progressively louder. But she couldn't stop it, he had hurt her as well, and she would make sure he knew it.
"Your father and I did everything we could! He pardoned Turner!" he would not back down.
"I wanted you to let Jack go too!" but she wouldn´t either.
"I serve the English crown Elizabeth, I must do my duty! I had Jack Sparrow on blatant charges of piracy!" he wasn't yelling back yet but it was clear his restraint was failing him. "Do you know what would have happened had I let him run!? We all would have been accused of conspiring with a pirate! You! Me! Even your father Elizabeth! Would you have truly endangered him like that over the likes of a pirate!?" he insisted angrily.
She deflated at the mention of her Father. He was right, she never would have "Then you shouldn't have captured him in the first place" was her only comeback.
They were both staring furiously at each other.
Then it occurred to her that she had never seen the Commodore lose his composure like this. She had assumed before that he simply was an unfeeling man. Too busy serving the crown and hunting down pirates to care about much else, or waste his time on pitiful things like emotions.
James' angry mien broke down with a sigh. And when he managed to recompose himself he added in a much more measured tone "You clearly don't want this and as our engagement has not been properly arranged yet... we can still cancel it"
She flinched at that. Even he was abandoning her!? Did they all just find her unimportant enough to be deserted at their earliest convenience? She knew that he was trying to be a gentleman and give her a way out, but the rejection hurt. And being forsaken twice in the same day, by the two men that had claimed to love her, was more than she could handle.
She was hurt, and angry, and frustrated and James trying to act noble was making her angrier. So before she even thought about what she was really saying, she looked him right in the eye and the words were out of her mouth "You are departing tomorrow to chase after pirates, If I'm fortunate enough, I might not even need to"
She regretted it as soon as she said it. James was a good man that had done nothing but care for her, she knew that. He had risked a lot to let Jack and Will get away after Will´s botched attempt at a rescue just but an hour ago, and he had done it solely for her, she was sure.
While it may not be love, she sincerely cared for him.
James' body went so rigid he might have passed for a statue had his eyes not been as full of emotion as they were. On the contrary, his voice did not allow even a peek on what he was thinking "Perhaps that might be best" he agreed monotonously
He did not get angry, he did not yell, he did not try to hurt her back or insult her.
She wanted to apologize, wanted to say something, anything. But now she was too scared to.
When he turned towards the exit archway she thought that would be it, he would walk away and never speak to her again and so she would lose him too.
With his back turned to her he offered "I… I will be leaving for a while, The Dauntless will probably be at sea for at least a couple of months" when she didn´t object he continued "You have the choice here Miss Swann. You have always had the choice, at least regarding your marriage to me. I wish for you to give it proper consideration during my absence"
He finally turned his face back to her, his look was impassive, the perfect Commodore was back in place "We should depart now"
"Pardon?" When had this man become so difficult to understand? she wondered.
"I promised you father to personally see to your safe return home Miss Swann" he reminded her seriously. She was much too tired to argue and going home sounded much too appealing so she just nodded.
"If you will" he asked, extending his arm for her to take. She reached for his arm cautiously.
The Commodore escorted her out of fort Charles and into one of the carriages the officers used for transportation. But instead of getting inside the carriage with her, he chose to ride a horse as an escort. It was getting quite late now, she noted as she stared outside the window of the carriage, the sun was beginning to set by the time they finally made it to King´s Mansion.
When they stopped she wasted no time opening the door of the carriage and getting down on her own. Once inside the Mansion, Elizabeth continued her journey straight to her room, making no effort to inform her father of her arrival or to bid the Commodore goodbye.
This day had been the absolute worst and she wanted nothing more than for it to be over. So without pause, she tore off the pretty dress she had been wearing -for the exciting event of beholding the execution of a good man- and climbed into her bed, throwing the covers on top of her head trying, and failing, not to cry more.
Maybe if she slept for long enough, she would be able to forget all the things that had happened today, she mused.