Carlisle's POV
Driving out to our home, with Bella sitting next to me in the passenger seat, my mind went into planning mode. What would be the best course of action to help her overcome her addiction? Steadily lowering her dose and tapering off? Medication assisted treatment? Would she insist on going cold turkey? Regardless of which option we settled on, I knew the days, weeks, and possibly even months had the potential to be agonizing for her. It made my chest constrict.
That was the most pressing issue, but there were no shortage of other unanswered questions as well. How did she end up here? Did her parents know where she was? What kind of trauma had she been subjected to? What was I going to tell the rest of the family? I reminded myself that Bella was the only one who could answer these and that I needed to tread carefully if I wanted to keep building upon the fragile trust that had begun to repair itself between us.
For now Bella sat slouched in her seat, her elbow against the window frame, her head propped against her knuckles. But she was restless. Every minute or so she would wince or take a deep breath and then change position. Sure enough, she sat up suddenly and put both of her hands between her knees, as though to calm the fitfulness that emanated from her every bone.
A sudden vibrating pulled me from my thoughts and made Bella jump. My phone sat buzzing on the middle console. I glanced down at the screen.
"It's Esme. How much would you like me to tell her before we arrive?" The phone continued to ring as Bella thought the question over.
"Um, I don't know. I don't even know where to start." A flustered look flickered across her features.
"I think, and feel free to disagree, that most of what we need to share with her is best said in-person," I offered up.
Bella nodded her head in assent. I grabbed the phone and answered before it could cut to voicemail.
"Hello dear." I could hear the way my voice came out in a contented sigh. Knowing that I would soon be able to confide in Esme brought me a deep sense of relief.
"Carlisle? Are you still at work?"
"No, no. I am on my way home as we speak. I was just about to call you. Is everything alright?"
"Yes, nothing to worry about. I'm just eager to see you." There was a slight twinge of sadness to her words and I was reminded of how distant I had truly been since promising Bella I'd keep her secret.
"I'm eager to see you too, my love. Though I do have a favor to ask of you."
"Oh? Of course, what do you need?"
"Do you think you could prepare one of the spare rooms? I have a guest with me."
"A guest, Carlisle? As in a…?"
"Yes, exactly. I think our friend will need some space to rest."
"Okay…" The confusion in her voice was obvious. It had always been incredibly rare for us to have humans over. Let alone one that stays the night and requires us to prepare a guest room. Bella had been one of the few exceptions. And certainly the only one to have frequented our home as much as she had.
"And Esme? Are Jasper and Alice there?"
"Yes, they're upstairs. Do you need to speak with them?"
"Well, I'm afraid I need to ask them if they are willing to take some time away again-"
"But Carlisle, they've just returned home!"
"I know, love. But I wouldn't ask such a thing of them if it wasn't important. And I don't think it will be for very long."
She sighed, "Very well, I will let them know."
From the background I could hear Alice yell from another room. "It's alright, Esme! I saw it coming, we were just getting ready to go." There was a quiet shuffling sound and then Alice's voice, much clearer, came through the receiver. "Carlisle, I think we will go see Eleazar as you suggested. I want to speak to him about these holes in my visions. Just minutes ago I saw you coming home with someone, but I was blind again when it came to seeing who it was."
"I think that would be an excellent idea, Alice." I was still ill at ease playing ignorant, for I had a pretty good idea as to what was causing her sudden blindness when it came to Bella. But until Bella was ready to allow Alice back into her life, I had to maintain my obliviousness. I hoped Alice would forgive me. "Perhaps Eleazar has heard of something similar happening with one of the others. Be sure to give them my regards."
"Of course. And you still aren't going to tell me what's going on?" She asked, knowing full well what my response would be.
"I'm sorry, Alice. Soon."
"Okay, okay," she huffed, before passing the phone back to Esme.
"How long until you're back?" She asked.
"We should be there in twenty minutes, will that be alright?"
"Not a problem, I will have everything ready."
"Thank you, Esme. I love you."
"I love you, too, Carlisle," I could hear the smile in her voice. "Hurry home."
I didn't need to be told twice.
As with our home in Forks, the new house also sat at the end of a long winding driveway. Nearly an hour away from Eugene, we had selected a much more isolated residence this time around, with property backed up to the Willamette National Forest. The crunch of gravel reverberated through the car as I turned off the main road. Bella's nerves seemed to be getting the best of her, from the corner of my eye I could see as she wrung her hands.
"CanyoustopthecarCarlisle?" Her words came out in a rush. I thought perhaps she was going to be sick again.
My foot instantly moved towards the brake and I shifted down to second gear before bringing the car to a standstill. The engine hummed quietly in neutral. My attention was drawn towards Bella's heart rate, which had picked up speed as soon as we had turned on to the driveway.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. I just felt really panicky all of a sudden. Are you sure this is okay? Esme won't be upset? You promise the others won't be there? Maybe this is a bad idea." Her legs were both trembling and her eyes were beginning to fill with tears. I needed to calm her down.
"Bella. Look at me," her head snapped in my direction and her eyes sought mine out. "Of course this is okay. I want nothing more than to support you and help you through this. And Esme will not be upset. Quite the contrary. She will be overjoyed to see you, even under the circumstances. I promise."
"I want to believe you, Carlisle. I do. But despite that, I still feel so on edge. I'm sorry." Bella's muscles tightened in frustration. She had always been so level-headed in even the most distressing situations. To see her this way now, so jittery and uneasy, it was further proof of the power that the addiction held over her.
Keeping my demeanor as calm as I could, I did my best to reassure her. "There is nothing to apologize for. I'm afraid that the anxiety you are feeling is primarily a result of your body's withdrawal from the opioids you have been taking. Let's get you inside and then we can decide together what the plan will be moving forward. Does that sound okay?"
She nodded her head several times in a row, "Yeah, okay. Sorry."
"It's no trouble, Bella."
Keeping a slower pace than usual, I drove the last few minutes until at last the house came into view. Out of all the homes we owned, this one was the most recent construction. Just a few decades old, it was a modest-sized timber frame house. A chimney made of river rock could be seen sticking out above the roof in the back, where large wooden beams arched above the high-ceilinged great room. It was one of our simpler homes, usually used as more of a retreat than a permanent residence.
Esme would not have been able to hear our conversation, our private road being over a mile long. So Bella's identity was still a surprise. Stepping from the car, I popped the trunk and grabbed her things, then walked forward to open her door. I held out my hand to her and after a moment's hesitation she reached out to grasp it firmly. With her free hand she wiped away the last few straggling tears and then rose from her seat. From outside, I could hear Esme bustling around inside, most likely finishing up the preparations for our guest. Bella did not let go of my hand as we walked towards the front door so I did not move to do so either. Her hand was clammy again.
We climbed up the two steps leading to the small porch and through the glass panels in the oak front door I met Esme's eyes. Her golden pupils widened in shock and her hand flew to her chest. A supernatural stillness settled over her body. I could feel Bella stiffen at my side. Pushing open the door I gently led her inside.
"Bella." Esme's voice was hushed. She took a hesitant step in our direction, her eyes only leaving Bella for a second in order to give me a questioning look. I gave her an apologetic smile, the reason behind my odd behavior these last few weeks finally coming to light. I felt Bella's fingers slip from my own as she moved towards Esme in the middle of the entryway. No one spoke a word, slight tension filling the air as we waited to see how Bella would react. Then suddenly she took a final step forward and collapsed into Esme's arms, her form wracked with sobs.
Esme held her tightly. One of her hands came up and brushed the back of Bella's hair in gentle strokes.
"Shhh, it's alright, dear," From over Bella's shoulder, Esme's pained gaze met my own. She raised her eyebrows questioningly and I gave an infinitesimal nod. I had much to explain.
After a couple of minutes Bella took a step back, her cheeks flushed red in embarrassment. Sniffling, her fingers came up and rubbed away the remaining tears from her eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to completely lose it like that."
Esme smiled lovingly and placed a hand on Bella's cheek, "You don't need to apologize. I am elated to see you, Bella. I have missed you very much."
Turning away slightly, as though made uncomfortable by Esme's words, Bella mumbled, "Could I use the restroom quick?" Her sudden change in demeanor appeared to bewilder Esme.
I stepped forward, "Yes, of course. It's right down the hallway, second door to the left." Without saying anything else she hastily made her way down there and shut the door.
"Carlisle! What is going on? Was it something I said? Is she ill? Has she been hurt? Why didn't you tell me?" At a volume inaudible to human ears, Esme rushed through an extensive list of questions. Her expression flitted from confusion to concern to frustration in a dizzying display of emotion.
My voice equally low, I did my best to answer as much as I could before Bella returned from the washroom.
"I will tell you everything as soon as I can. But I had promised her I would keep things a secret until now. She has been living in Eugene in a seemingly precarious situation. And-" I hesitated, unsure of how to say the next part, "And she is currently struggling with an opiate addiction." Esme did her best to stifle the gasp that my words had elicited.
"Carlisle, no-" She was devastated.
"She was the difficult patient I had a few weeks ago. She had been poisoned with fentanyl. I almost lost her, Esme. We could have lost her again."
Unable to shed tears, Esme's eyes blinked several times in quick succession. In the place of tears, our bodies' tear ducts could only prickle uncomfortably. Then again, I wasn't sure that most vampires often felt the desire to cry. But Esme was not like most vampires. And her profound capacity for love often left her susceptible to tears that would never come. She loved fiercely. But her gift was a double-edged sword. For inversely, she grieved with just as much intensity.
AN: Yayyyy, Esme we missed you!
I am going to be taking a little more time with these next few updates. I'm by no means an expert when it comes to withdrawal from opiates, so I want to make sure I do my research and treat this storyline with the respect it deserves. Bella's situation is a real life struggle for so many people nowadays, that I don't want to treat it lightly. Thank you for your patience and understanding!
And of course, thank you for all of your reviews!