A/N: hello everyone! here's a nice long chapter for y'all. i'm not feeling very confident about it but honestly i'm in a "it is what it is" mood right now so i'm just gonna post and leave it at that. hope y'all enjoy!
Academic Decathlon Subject II: Art. Art Fundamentals, Art History, and the Modernist Movement that Arose in the Aftermath of World War I.
Hyuuga Natsume Decathlon Subject II: Snarkiness. Ability to Ruin Anything Good with Some Smart-Alec Comment.
School Begins.
"The little may contrast with the great, in painting, but cannot be said to be contrary to it. Oppositions of colors contrast; but there are also colors contrary to each other, that is, which produce an ill effect because they shock the eye when brought very near it." -Voltaire
For her first day of her third year of high school, Mikan wore pink. A pink sweater with white shorts and pink converse. Pink was a light, fun color, bright and sweet and perfect for a great start.
She didn't immediately think of Aca Dec or Natsume when she got to school, because she wasn't a nerd or a masochist, and because she had many other classes to attend first and Natsume wasn't that important. Or important at all, really. So she struggled through her math class with Jinno-sensei, paid half attention in her other classes, and prioritized seeing her friends again, though a large chunk of them she'd seen recently at the Aca Dec summer study meets.
She and Hotaru and Iinchou walked to the first Aca Dec class of the year right after lunch, all of them lugging their huge binders in anticipation for studying. Last year, the first day was more of a syllabus day than anything else, especially since the newcomers didn't have copies of the curriculum yet, and today likely wouldn't be any different, but it was best to be prepared. Making a good impression with Coach Narumi was crucial to getting on the team, and if he thought she was dragging that heavy thing around to get some studying in during lull periods, she might better her chances.
But she wasn't actually doing any studying today. It was all for show. She suspected Hotaru and Iinchou really were studying in between classes, but Mikan didn't want to compare herself to the biggest nerds in the school.
The Aca Dec classroom was light and airy, lined with big windows and situated in a really nice part of the school building. The summer session layout of the desks had been switched back to a more traditional layout of neat rows facing the front, which was a relief because that meant fewer glaring matches with Natsume right across from her.
The three of them took seats near the front, waiting patiently for the other students to start filing in. Mikan watched people walk in as Iinchou and Hotaru busied themselves with studying. There were a lot of familiar faces from last year, A- and B-Team members alike, some of whom hadn't reported to the study sessions. The returning decathletes were bright-eyed and excited to be back in a familiar environment. The new kids, the freshmen or older kids just trying out a new elective, looked nervous or hesitant or even bored. Mikan kinda felt sorry for them, especially the bored ones. Definitely not A-Team material.
Speaking of not A-Team material, Natsume entered a mere five seconds before the bell rang, Ruka and Mochu at his side. They took seats near the back, much to Mikan's relief. She didn't even realize she was still turned around, staring, until Narumi clapped his hands together at the front of the room, snapping her out of her daze.
"Salutations, Academic Decathlon prospects! I'm impressed by the class turn-out this year!" There were maybe eighteen or twenty people in the class, far fewer than in most other elective classes. A lot for Aca Dec, maybe. "Welcome all, both newcomers and returning champs! I'm Coach Narumi, and I'll be guiding you through the trenches of World War One this year! There's lots of studying involved in this class, but you don't have to worry. Everything here is self-guided. You decide what you study, how much you study-I just decide the teams." He gave the class a wink. "Tobita-kun, wanna take it away?"
Iinchou nodded and stood up to face the class. "Hello, I'm Tobita Yuu. I was captain of the A-Team last year-"
"First sophomore captain in Alice High history," Narumi interrupted boastfully, for the nth time.
"Yeah… yeah. Uh… There's no guarantee I'll be captain again this year, or even that I'll get on A-Team-" Returning kids around the room snorted at that but he carried on dutifully. "For all you newcomers, Academic Decathlon, which we call Aca Dec for short, is a study-based competition covering ten subjects. There's the seven objectives, which you carry around with you in this binder, in a complete curriculum. Those subjects are Art, Econ, Language and Literature, Math, Music, Science, and Social Science. Then there's the three subjectives, or speech, essay, and interview.
"It may seem intimidating at first, but it's a very satisfying and fulfilling competition, and looks great on college applications. You also make really great friends with your teammates and, if you get on A-Team, there's even a chance of traveling together to the prefecture competition, which Alice High has been going to every year for over a decade now. I encourage those of you who just joined to give Aca Dec a fair chance. I'm sure it'll be a great year!"
"Yay!" Narumi cheered when Iinchou sat down again. "Go World War One!"
"An estimated 21,500,000 people died as a result of World War One," Hotaru quipped in her cold monotone.
"Still!" Narumi's grin never wavered. "Yay Aca Dec, then!"
Narumi passed out a syllabus explaining both the class structure and the competition structure. Getting an A in Aca Dec was a given, as long as you turned in your assignments on time and showed up. The harsh scoring came from the competition itself, not from Narumi.
The first class went by quickly and Mikan even forgot Natsume was sitting somewhere behind her. When the bell rang to dismiss them, Narumi shouted a reminder for everyone to get their syllabi signed by a parent or guardian and for the straddlers to decide if they're staying by the end of the week so he could get an appropriate number of curriculum copies.
Mikan was packing up when she felt a presence beside her. She looked up to see Koko standing by her desk, an evil smile on his face. "Um. Hi. What's up, Koko?"
"Sitting in the middle of the room, you hear everything," he said vaguely. "My whole life, I've loved being in the middle of the room. Settle this for me: is pink a type of red?"
Mikan shut her curriculum binder closed with violent force. She glanced around the room, looking for Natsume, but he must have run off as soon as he heard the bell. "No," she bit out with venom. She hated the color red. "Pink is its own thing."
"You should study the art curriculum more," he suggested, slipping his hands into his pockets. "Check out a color wheel every once in a while."
"Art is my best subject!" she defended. "Pink is not red!"
"Well," Hotaru said from beside her, slowly getting to her feet, having just finished packing up her things. "Pink is actually a tint of red, meaning that if you were to add white to red, you'd get pink."
"Sure, whatever." Mikan rolled her eyes, impatient. "Just like if you were to add yellow to blue, you get green. That doesn't mean green is a type of blue."
"Lavender is what happens when you add white to purple. Lavender is still purple."
"It's different!" Mikan snapped. "It's a different color!"
"Someone's testy," Hotaru muttered, making her way for the door.
"Why bring it up, Koko?" Mikan asked, turning to him again. "Why even mention it?"
Koko shrugged, his evil grin stuck on his mouth. "I'm just really into color theory."
Mikan watched Natsume enter the Aca Dec classroom the next day. He was wearing a short-sleeved flannel over a t-shirt (nothing impressive, like always) and he seemed tired. He collapsed into his seat and shut his eyes, thus not noticing Mikan's stare. Ruka did, though, and he reacted by giving her an awkward, uncomfortable wave.
She flushed at being caught and waved back.
Hopefully, Natsume's exhaustion would be a trend and he'd lack the energy to keep up with Aca Dec.
Today she was wearing yellow, and she even looked it up to make sure yellow had nothing to do with red before heading to school, just in case. She hoped Natsume didn't know about the color wheel. She didn't want to have to stop wearing pink forever because of him. For now she just had to wait out a couple days until Koko and Hotaru forgot all about her strange fit over red yesterday.
So no pink for a while.
That made her sad but yellow was a great color too. There were lots of great colors in her wardrobe. She certainly wasn't lacking. Except for red.
She faced the front, pretending to study the math curriculum, when Narumi walked into the room.
"Hello, Decathletes!" he called. "I have your categories right here, after careful calculation… and Tobita-kun's help, of course, so you'll soon know who your competitors are for the team!" He gestured to Iinchou. "Mind explaining for the newbies, Tobita-kun?"
Iinchou stood with a nod and Mikan had to strain to look up at him. "So everyone here will be divided into one of three categories depending on your school grades. If you have above a 3.5 GPA, you're an Honors. Between a 3 and a 3.5 is a Scholastic, and below a 3 is Varsity. Three decathletes from each category will be selected for A-Team, and B-Team as well, depending on how many kids there are in the class. So, essentially, whatever category you're in, that's who you're competing against for a spot on the team." He then chuckled. "Not that everyone has time to be on A-Team, or even wants to, I'm just saying-"
"Yes, we get it, Tobita-kun."
Iinchou took the hint and sat down, face flushed.
"Anyway!" Narumi said cheerfully, clapping his hands together. "After tirelessly pouring over your grades and double-no-triple checking the math-"
"Iinchou did the math, not you," Hotaru said.
"-I finally have everyone's final categories shored up!" He sniffed proudly. "For Honors, we have Tobita-kun, Imai-chan-"
"Excuse me, Sensei-" Hoshino piped up nervously.
"Coach," Narumi corrected. "What is it?"
"Uh… Coach, is it really ethical to read out our grades like this?"
"It's just your categories. Your GPA is already readily available at the staff office and whatever your category is will be public knowledge during the competition anyway. I can keep it a secret for you, but that would be pointless."
Hoshino sunk in his seat.
"Besides, there's no judging in this class!" Coach Narumi cleared his throat. "Anyway, as we were! Tobita-kun, Imai-chan, Nogi-kun-"
He read out the Honors kids's names and though the other kids were obviously capable, Mikan figured the same three Honors from last year's A-Team would be on A-Team again this year. Scholastic was a different story. Apparently, Tsubasa had managed to get his GPA up to a Scholastic level after being a Varsity like Mikan last year. Scholastics were always competitive since there were usually mostly Scholastics in the class. Hoshino, Permy, Mochu, and Megane were all Scholastics as well, meaning it wouldn't be simple predicting who would be on the team.
"And the Varsities this year," Narumi announced. "Will be Nendo-kun, Kusami-kun, Yome-kun, Sakura-chan, and Hyuuga-kun."
Mikan's eyes widened. She'd forgotten all about Natsume again. A Varsity? Like her?! She'd assumed he'd be a Scholastic. Beating him for A-Team had just been a vague ambition before. But now it was far more distinct, since he was one of her direct competitors. Five people competing for three spots, Mikan realized, blinking fast to dispel the tears of stress accumulating. That meant two people would be on B-Team instead of A-Team.
B-Team, the leftovers team. The team Mikan and Tsubasa had been on last year. B-Team was still fun. They still got to compete and have fun with their classmates and spend some evenings at extended study meets. But no subjective competitions. No medals. Once regionals ended, B-Team competition ended. Mikan wanted to be on A-Team!
She'd been so relieved about not having to fight Tsubasa for a spot that she'd forgotten to worry about Natsume, who was apparently effortlessly brilliant and who everyone already assumed would get on the A-Team. Would she be able to beat him? Forget beating him; would she be able to beat the other competitors for herself and secure a spot on the team at all? And if she did get on the team and got stuck working with Natsume for the whole year, what would she do?
Well, if that happened, her year would suck. It would be awful.
Should she just resign to B-Team again, then?
As soon as the thought occurred to her, she struck it down. She wasn't going to give up so easily, just because things seemed hard, and she certainly wasn't going to give up because of Natsume!
She turned a little in her desk and settled her gaze on Natsume, only to realize he'd already been looking at her. She glared as hard as she could to convey her unspoken feelings: I will crush you.
He only lifted his stupid eyebrow, obviously not that exhausted after all, sending his own message: Go ahead and try.
"I don't get why you're studying so hard," Mikan wondered aloud, flipping through the music curriculum and feeling her brain numb at the music notes littering the pages. "You'd get on A-Team without even trying."
Hotaru never looked up from the page in her curriculum that she was currently highlighting. "I'm already studying for the competition," she said absently. "It's not just about getting on the team. It's about scoring high at Regionals so we can move onto the Prefecture competition. If I slack off for even a second, I risk hindering the school's reputation as a highly respected Division I competitor."
Mikan started at that. That's quite a responsibility.
"Besides, there's no guarantee we'll end up on A-Team," Iinchou said modestly. "The other Honors kids are smart too. We need to put in as much effort as possible."
Hotaru rolled her eyes at him while Mikan gave him a thumbs down. "You'll be on A-Team for sure, Iinchou. Don't be so modest."
"I'm definitely getting on the team," Hotaru said, and somehow her voice was devoid of arrogance. She was merely stating a fact. "And Mikan's right that we don't have to try very hard to do it, either." She hummed and cocked her head to the side. "Ruka-kun, on the other hand…" Mikan glanced behind them at where Ruka-pyon was sitting with Natsume and Permy. They all seemed hard at work, except for Natsume, of course, who was staring into space.
Slacker, Mikan thought bitterly. She turned back to her friends, looking back at her music curriculum. "And what about me?" she asked them, self-conscious. "What do you think my chances are?"
"I'm sure you'll get in if you try your best!" Iinchou said.
"Abysmal," Hotaru said at the same time.
Mikan was shaken from Iinchou's warm support, her grateful smile withering, turning to glower at her best friend. "Hotaru! How could you say that?"
Hotaru shrugged. "It's what I believe. You are capable of trying and you have been dedicating more time to studying this year than last year, but I don't think it's enough. No amount of studying can help your stupidity."
"I'm getting really good at Art, though!" Mikan boasted.
"We'll see how it goes when we start taking the practice tests, shall we?" Hotaru quipped skeptically.
"You don't think I stand a chance against Natsume?"
"It always goes back to him, somehow, doesn't it?" Hotaru muttered. "Natsume-kun is lazy, but smart. You're hard-working, but stupid. You might actually be evenly matched… if your stupidity wasn't more dire than his laziness. Your only hope on that front is that he's so lazy he tells Coach Narumi to put him on B-Team instead. And even if that does happen, you still have three other kids to beat. Your chances aren't good."
"That's not my only hope," Mikan growled. "Because he joined Aca Dec specifically to mess with me so if he knows I'm trying to get on A-Team, and he does, then he'll go after it just to ruin my life."
"So no chance, then," Hotaru snorted. "Serves you right for antagonizing him for no real reason this summer."
"No," Mikan hissed. "He didn't just stay to mess with me. From the beginning, he only wanted to piss me off. Mochu told me himself."
"But that doesn't make sense, Mikan-chan," Iinchou argued. "Natsume-kun hasn't really done much to you since he joined. If his whole motivation was to bother you, then he hasn't really been putting much effort into it."
"He's done plenty!"
"Like eat one piece of chicken and breathe?" Hotaru listed sarcastically.
"He is antagonizing me," Mikan asserted. "He knows he doesn't need to do much to get to me and that's fine with him because he's playing the long haul anyway. He's gonna take A-Team from me to spite me."
"A-Team was never yours, Mikan."
"But I won't let him," Mikan declared, ignoring Hotaru's mean quip. "I will be on A-Team, even if he does too."
"Which he will," Hotaru mused.
"Or not…" Hotaru said, awestruck.
After a week or two of getting into the studying swing of things, of some straddlers leaving after all (but no Varsities, sadly, meaning that Mikan still had to deal with four other people vying for the team), of presentations and tutorials, Narumi finally decided to transition them into weekly computer lab visits so they could take practice quizzes.
They were practice. The scores didn't count for much. They were still pretty brutal.
Though Mikan had expected her dismal Math and Music scores, her Econ was actually lower than she'd predicted. She did a little better than expected in Science, but Art? She got a 56% in Art.
A 56% in a normal class was a failing grade. Nothing to get excited about.
A 56% in Aca Dec, at the beginning of the year, before teams had even been decided? Pretty dang good!
Especially considering Iinchou's Art score was a 52% and Hotaru's was a 50%. Art! All the 20 and 30 range percentages and the one 40% in Science that she got were fine. Expected of stupid Mikan who had no study skills. But Mikan's Art score wasn't just good for her. It was good in general.
Iinchou and Hotaru did great, especially in Math, Econ, and Science. Ruka proved himself a rockstar in Lang Lit, Tsubasa performed moderately in the lighter subjectives and Permy got an impossible Music score for so early in the game (68%).
And Natsume?
Natsume got nothing above a 44%. (Except for his 52% Math score, but that didn't count.)
Thus, Hotaru's eyes were wide with shock, staring at the Alice Aca Dec online leaderboard, seeing Hyuuga Natsume's name down at the bottom. Iinchou, polite despite his surprise, kept his fingers in front of his mouth. Meanwhile, as soon as Mikan saw that she was a full three places ahead of him in the general leaderboard, she started cackling.
"Mikan-chan," Iinchou started to say, but she couldn't stop her laugher.
"I wouldn't get cocky," Hotaru warned, snapping out of her shock. "The other Varsities all scored higher than you. At this rate, you and Natsume will be alone together on the B-Team."
"I won't let you ruin this for me!" Mikan exclaimed, jumping up from her seat. She made a bee-line for Natsume's computer, giggling all the while.
The computer lab was arranged in rows so Mikan refrained from skipping to the back row, where Mochu, Permy, Ruka, and of course Natsume were all sitting at their computers, looking at the class scores. She stopped at Natsume's chair and waited with a grin.
He glanced up, but when he saw it was her, he simply rolled his eyes. "Go on," he prompted. "Let's hear it."
"Hello, Sakura," Ruka greeted from beside him. "You did pretty well-"
"Natsume!" she taunted. He only eyed her blankly. "I've been told since June that you're a shoe-in for A-Team, and yet here we are!"
"I don't give a shit about these stupid quizzes-"
"Natsume's not in the best mood right now, Sakura," Ruka said gently. "Maybe come back later?"
"She's not gonna come back later," Natsume said dryly. "She rarely has opportunity to brag at me like this."
"I'm not bragging," Mikan said innocently. "I'm just pointing out facts. I scored better than you, pretty much across the board. A fact."
"Not in Math."
"Well-"
"Sakura!" Permy snapped. "Is there a point to this?"
"My point is you suck!" she said to her nemesis with a snort. "Hey, Natsume, remember when you were telling me you'd get on A-Team just to rub it in my face? How are you feeling about that now?"
"Sakura-" Ruka tried to cut in.
"Hey!" Permy interrupted. "He got almost every section one question in every subject right! Obviously, he's just been focusing on each subject's section one curriculum. Next time, his scores will be better because he'll have studied section two-"
"He hasn't been studying at all!" Mochu laughed. "He's only good at the section one questions because those are the fundamental sections and that's the only stuff he already knows! No offense, Natsume."
"None taken. You're right."
"Whatever the case, Sakura. You shouldn't brag. It's an ugly color on you."
"You don't have to defend me," Natsume told her, never looking away from Mikan. "Just let her say what she needs to say. I want to hear it."
"I think I've made my point," Mikan said, standing up straight so she could look as haughty as possible.
"Are you sure? Feel free to rub it in. I got a lower overall score than you. I wouldn't miss this chance."
Mikan surrendered easily. "Well, it does feel really nice! I tried very hard and I finally beat you! Meanwhile, you apparently haven't been taking this seriously at all. It feels a lot like justice or karma or divine retribution or the universe setting things right after all these years. I finally win!"
"You done?"
Mikan nodded, beaming. She started to turn so she could go back to her desk and maybe pretend to do some flashcard study in some stupid subject like Science or something, but suddenly there were fingers around her wrist, keeping her still. Natsume's fingers, she realized when she faced him again, wide-eyed, only to see he looked pretty annoyed. Bad mood indeed.
"You put in the effort," he conceded. "You studied really hard. And it paid off. You beat me in a series of practice tests. That's very impressive." His grip tightened by a fraction. Even compliments from him sounded like insults, and Mikan gulped. "But I wasn't really trying. You beat me when you were studying your ass off and I was doing nothing. And you still got a lower overall score than all the other Varsities. Do you really think you'd be bragging if I put in any effort at all for today? All I have to do is put in 1% of effort and I'll beat you. 5% and I beat all of Varsity."
"Hey!" Koko snapped, turning around in his chair to stick his tongue out. "Maybe 6%!"
"4%," Natsume corrected. "Then you'll be on B-Team. And you'll have to deal with watching me get on A-Team. But don't worry. I won't rub it in your face. I won't need to. Because this little brag of yours that you just had to come over here to do will feel incredibly humiliating by then. And yet, it'll be the only victory you will ever have over me, so you'll have no choice but to cling to it."
Only after he let that last word settle did he release her wrist. Mikan stood, horrified and so angry her face was hot with it. It was just like him to ruin something so wonderful.
They stared at each other for a moment, Natsume's eyebrow daring her to reply and Mikan searching her mind desperately for something to shut him up. Something smart. She was coming up empty. Rage never made her eloquent. "You are not that smart!"
"Ah!" Narumi sighed excitedly from the front of the lab. "A bout of friendly rivalry! A battle for the limited number of Varsity spots-"
"I haven't been trying my hardest either! You'll see! I will beat you and you'll finally shut up about how much better you are than me! I can be better than you! I don't get why you can't let me have anything!"
"Well, I'll admit you are louder than me."
"BECAUSE YOU'RE ANNOYING ME!"
"Sakura, he's just riling you up," Ruka tried to reason.
"Yeah," Mochu said with a snort. "'Cause he apparently thinks you're cute when you-"
"Shut it, Mochu."
"Stop patronizing me!" Mikan shouted.
"Listen!" Narumi called them to order. "In the back! I'm gonna need some civility here!"
"Can't ask for civility from a gorilla," Natsume argued under his breath and Mikan couldn't stand it anymore. She was done being patient. She shoved him until his chair toppled over and he was suddenly on the floor in an unpleasant heap. A grim silence fell over the room and Natsume slowly pulled himself onto his elbows. He looked up at her, and Mikan was almost scared she'd hurt him. "She grunts and hits like a gorilla, too," he mumbled, but before Mikan could beat the crap out of him, Narumi was at her side, his face contorted into uncharacteristic anger.
"Principal's office," he commanded. When Natsume snickered from the ground, he spoke again. "Both of you!"
Natsume seemed-unfortunately-unharmed by his collision with the carpeted floor of the computer lab. He walked just fine, if silently, hands stubbornly in his pockets. Mikan could regretfully still feel where his fingers had gripped her wrist. She tried not to let that show, but she caught herself gingerly feeling at the skin he'd touched, just to tear her own fingers away.
Their walk to the Principal's office was silent at first, but it was a long walk since they'd have to cross the whole school to get there and neither of them walked too fast. It was either rush to the Principal's office and sit under his cruel gaze, or to deal with each other, and Mikan would somehow rather be stuck with Natsume a little longer than hurry to sit alone with that creepy man.
"Sorry," Natsume said when they were maybe eight minutes into their stilted stroll.
"Huh?" Mikan gawked at him. As far as she was aware, he'd never said that word in his life.
"Not for calling you a gorilla," he clarified. "Or for the pool party."
"Then for what? 'Cause you should be sorry for all that and way more-"
"Sorry for joining this class," he said simply.
"Don't do that," Mikan said, rolling her eyes. "For a moment there I thought you were actually apologizing for something, but you're just trying to make me feel sorry for you."
"I wasn't trying to-"
"Yes, you were! You totally were! What am I supposed to say to that? If I don't say, 'Oh noooooooo, it's okay!' then I'm a jerk, right?" Natsume just sighed. "Well, too bad! I guess I'm a jerk! It's not okay! I know why you joined, Natsume. You should be sorry!"
"Huh? Why I joined?"
"Yeah! Mochu told me. You joined because of me."
Natsume stilled, so Mikan stopped too. When she turned to look over at him, she saw his face was carefully blank. "Yeah. I know the lengths you go to just to torture me. All of this, just to bother me. You should be sorry."
He closed his eyes slowly. "You're such a fucking idiot."
"I don't believe you're actually sorry, Natsume! Your actions don't reflect a sorry spirit!"
"Believe what you want," he said, leaning his back against one of the hallway walls. "I am sorry I got in your way. I mean that. But it's too late for me to back out now, so-"
"No, it's not!" Mikan grabbed his arm and suddenly his eyes were open again, boring into hers. "You can still transfer out! You can always join Ceramics!"
"I already took Ceramics last year."
"So take it again! Or take Woodshop!"
"I also took Woodshop."
"Drama! Art! Student government, home ec, anything! Plus, isn't Aca Dec so boring? All that studying and tests. Such a bore, right? Right? Any other class would be more fun, don't you think? You can still transfer! It's not too late!"
"Are you begging me?" he asked, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards.
"Please!"
"Sorry again," he said. "It is too late. Way too late. Since June, it's been too late. Joining this boring class kinda… reminded me of something, so I can't quit anymore. Besides, even if it is boring, I kinda like it."
"No, you don't!" She tightened her grasp on his arm. "You don't like it at all! Please!"
His face moved an inch closer to hers and it was only then that Mikan realized how close she'd gotten to him, closing in on him against the wall. She'd grabbed his arm tight, sure, but somehow her other hand was on his shoulder and they were so close she could kinda feel his breath on her face. They were close enough and yet he was inching closer.
"You're in that class," he whispered. "I like it."
She felt her expression darken. "You're the worst!"
"I'm not quitting. You feel it too, right?"
"Feel what? Undying hatred?"
"No, not that. You know. Relief."
"What? Relief? Why would I feel relief?"
"Nevermind."
"Why do you feel relief?"
"Nevermind, Miss Gorilla." He turned away, but she was still holding onto him and there was still very little distance between them. If he could weaponize this closeness, then so could she. She'd created it in the first place, after all. She put both of her hands on either side of his face, one on each cheek, and pulled his face down a mere inch away from hers. Her chest swelled with pride when his eyes widened. "You should quit," she told him softly. "Then you'll feel real relief. Because we both know it's the right thing to do."
His eyes slowly narrowed. "Polka Dots," he murmured. "I don't wanna hear any lectures on 'the right thing' from an idiot gorilla like you." She gasped in anger but then his forehead was bumping into hers. She yanked herself away from him and he stood up straight, leaving the wall and heading down the hallway again. "Let's go."
"W… What?!"
"No use putting off the inevitable."
The rest of the walk was silent. Natsume was nonchalant and Mikan was quietly fuming that he would do something so horrible just to rid himself of her. Like he knew it would shock and embarrass her, which it very much did. She was even more embarrassed about reacting at all. Such an intimate action from Natsume should have felt repulsive. And yet it had felt… well, not repulsive at all. Maybe even a little sweet. If it had been anyone else on the planet, maybe Mikan would have even blushed, but for Natsume she would never blush.
So yes. She was furious at Natsume for the forehead touch. But she was even more furious at herself for caring at all about the forehead touch.
They ended up being called into Principal Kuonji's office together from the bench they'd waited on, because they'd only caused that scene with each other's help.
They both took a seat next to each other in soft chairs across a large desk from the Principal's, whose stare was unnerving. "Good afternoon," he said, his voice betraying no sense of how this meeting would go.
"Good afternoon," Mikan replied quickly.
"Hello," Natsume offered.
"So what happened in Narumi-sensei's class?" the Principal asked, leaning back in his desk, prepared to listen.
"Well," Mikan started. "I guess, in a way, we were kinda fighting-"
"I egged her on," Natsume cut in, shrugging. "It's on me."
"From what I heard, she physically assaulted you-"
"Two things," he said, holding up two fingers. She could still feel them against her wrist. "One, she's incredibly weak. It didn't hurt at all. Two, you'd have pushed me too if you knew what I'd said to her."
"Natsume," Mikan hissed. "What are you-"
"It's Aca Dec. A little friendly rivalry is to be expected. She came over to brag a little and I took it personally. I insulted her and said something really messed up and I press no charges against her for the assault."
Mikan stared at the Principal, whose mouth was set in a stubborn line. He exhaled and finally spoke. "You both have detention this Saturday," he said, unmoved. "Now, get out of my office, both of you."
They obeyed and Mikan was once again out in the hall with Natsume. Alone. Always alone with him.
She settled her gaze on him. "What the heck was all that?"
"I'm gonna go study," Natsume said. "I have to keep up my promise to you, after all."
He walked down the hall, ignoring her calls. She gave up after a while, just watching in defeat as he disappeared. He hadn't even gone in the direction of class-and it was just like him, a slacker, to ditch like that-so Mikan went back by herself and tried to do flashcards, retaining no new information at all.
The rest of the day passed normally, with only the added flavor of Mikan being furious with Natsume for not taking the Principal's office seriously and lying so obviously through his teeth. Because he'd been fooling around, now they both had detention. When she complained to her friends about that, Hotaru only laughed. Thus, she decided to keep the evil press of his forehead against hers and her unfortunate reaction to it a secret. If Hotaru ever found out, she'd be laughed at for days. Maybe even weeks.
Saturday was a lovely September day, perfect for walks or hanging out with friends or sports or anything but going to detention. Unfortunately for Mikan, her day was blocked out.
Her parents had been beyond irritated to hear about her punishment and what had caused it. Her father had been angry and her mother had said she was "disappointed" that Mikan was capable of such violence and no number of desperate explanations about Natsume's vile temperament assuaged them. So on top of detention, she was also grounded for a week, which meant that she couldn't hang out with her friends outside of school. All because of Natsume.
Still, her dad did offer to drive her to the high school on Saturday morning and even packed her a lunch.
Detention was already ten minutes in and Mikan was one page deep into the Music curriculum when Natsume finally came in to grace her and Makihara-sensei with his presence. Though Makihara-sensei-the supervising teacher for detention-scolded him for coming in late, he seemed unperturbed. "Sit anywhere," Makihara-sensei instructed after some mild disapproval at his tardiness. For some reason, even though there was a large classroom full of empty desks to choose from, Natsume decided he just had to sit right next to Mikan.
"Go away," she warned, compelled to raise her hand and complain about him. She wouldn't, though. He was the tattletale, not her. "You're the reason I'm even here to begin with."
"You're good at Art, right?" he asked, ignoring her. "The Aca Dec subject, not actual Art. I can't imagine what a bad artist you probably are."
"Well, I did score pretty high," Mikan conceded, warmth flooding her cheeks in pride at being recognized for her talent, even if it came from Natsume and even if it was followed up by an insult. "I study Art the most."
"Cool," he said, and Mikan's mood plummeted. Every positive word from him seemed laced with sarcasm. "Help me."
"Huh?"
She peered up at his face, adorned with a very subtle smile. "Help me. The Art curriculum is super boring. Most boring one by far. All the art is terrible. I just can't get through it. And you apparently aren't so bad at it. So. Help me."
"Why should I?" she hissed, glancing over at Makihara-sensei, who must have heard them talking but didn't seem to care very much since he was preoccupied with his phone. "I have no reason to! One, you have been my enemy for as long as I can remember. Two, you're only in this class to torture me. Three, you got us this joint detention because you can't take anything seriously and to mess with me, again. Four, you've called me an idiot for years, so why would you even want my help? Five, we're competing for the same spot so I have no reason to want to help you. And, just in case the other reasons weren't enough, I hate you!"
"Are you done?"
"Well, I'm sure I can think of more reasons-"
"Excellent." He held up a finger. "You're not my worst enemy. It's kinda pathetic that I'm yours. I know people far worse and far more annoying than you." Another finger went up. "I'm in this class to learn." She rolled her eyes. "Never listen to Mochu about anything. He's an idiot and doesn't know what he's talking about. And if I hadn't defended you in the principal's office, you'd be dealing with a suspension at best and an expulsion at worst, seeing as you very much did physically assault me and schools usually aren't lenient about that kind of thing. I did you a favor, so I'd stop the bitching if I were you."
"Bitching?! Are you kidding me-"
He now had four fingers up. "I stand by every time I've ever called you an idiot. But you must be doing something right with that Art score, so here I am. Demeaning myself, asking an idiot for help." A fifth finger went up so he had his palm facing her. "Aca Dec is about camaraderie and teamwork and all that garbage, so if you don't help me, you're failing the spirit of the class. And as for the last reason-who gives a shit? I'm not asking you to marry me. I'm asking you to help me study. People keep telling me you're so sweet, but I have yet to see that."
"I am sweet! It's just hard to be sweet with you."
"That's fine," Natsume conceded, resting his chin on his counting hand. "I don't need you to be sweet or to like me. I just wanna beat the other Varsities and get on A-Team."
"See? I don't wanna help my biggest competition-"
"There's three spots. There's room for both of us and another one of those idiots."
"There's five of us fighting for those spots! And you said yourself I'm underperforming, so helping you doesn't help me at all!"
"Excuse me," Makihara-sensei called from his desk, having had enough. He obviously didn't relish supervising detention. "Please try to keep quiet and do some studying or something."
"We are studying," Natsume spoke up. "She's helping me learn."
Makihara-sensei allowed it, turning his attention back to his phone.
"That was an excuse to get out of trouble, not an actual fact," Mikan argued.
"You're completely missing the point of this class," Natsume drawled, somehow managing to sound genuinely disappointed. "And I really thought you of all people would get it."
"Art?" she bit out, glaring at her curriculum so she didn't have to look at him.
"Art."
"Just for today?"
"I mean, we'll be here for a while, so we might as well make the most of it." He shrugged. "And in exchange, I'll help you with Math."
Mikan flipped to the front of her binder, where her Art curriculum was. Her face flushed hot. "Don't even bother," she said. "It won't help anyway." She couldn't believe she was agreeing to this.
Especially when he turned out to be even worse than she'd assumed, Art Fundamentals in section one aside.
"Duchamp," she repeated, struck with horror. "Marcel Duchamp!"
"Say it another ten times, why don't you?"
"How can you not know who Marcel Duchamp is-Did you even glance at the curriculum? He's one of the most important featured art pieces. Fountain!"
Natsume scoffed. "That is a fucking urinal."
"It's an art piece."
"I guess bathrooms are museums now." He shook his head in disappointment. "French people are weirdos. I'll be having words with Ruka about this."
"It's symbolism-"
"It's garbage."
"Says you! Who made you an art critic?" To be honest, Mikan didn't really like Fountain either-it was kinda gross, but she was willing to defend it if only to avoid agreeing with Natsume about anything.
"Ahem!" Makihara-sensei loudly cleared his throat and glowered at them. "I'll allow you two to talk as long as you're studying, but if you're gonna keep fighting like this, I'll have to separate you."
Mikan forced herself to simmer down, though it wouldn't kill Natsume to be a bit more cooperative. "I'll admit, it's not the best art piece in the curriculum, but that's not the point. They're called objectives for a reason. You learn the facts about the piece and then you answer the questions on the test. They're not gonna ask if you personally like it. If you feel so strongly, write your speech about it."
"All these pieces suck," Natsume mused, flipping ahead in the curriculum and ignoring her elegantly delivered lecture. "Christ, what in the love of fuck is that?"
"That's Picasso-"
"These all suck."
"Ugh, Natsume-"
"I don't feel like I'm learning anything. I'm just injuring my eyes."
"How can you learn if you won't even listen to me?"
He chuckled and when she looked at him, he was smiling. "Your face is red."
That horrible, sickening color. Mikan stared hard into his deep red eyes, which were apathetic and unfeeling as usual, despite the taunting smile on his mouth. Those eyes nobody ever shut up about. "My favorite color." And now it was on her face. "No, it's not!" When his smile didn't waver, she doubled down. "I hate you!"
His eyes fell when she said that, down to the open curriculum on their two desks, pushed together. "Always have," he said.
"Glad we're on the same page," she huffed.
"I don't hate you, Polka Dots."
Mikan tensed and felt her cheeks heat up. But of course he didn't! He apparently had bigger enemies out there than her. She was just someone he liked to mess with. He was, of course, unbothered by her, and probably only mildly amused by how strongly she felt about him.
"Picasso is the 'Guernica,' right?" he asked and Mikan blinked at the sudden change in topic.
"Huh? Oh… I don't know. Maybe." She had read about Picasso enough to know by now but for some reason, she couldn't remember anything about him at the moment.
"Tell me about this hideous thing then."
"That one? It's called 'Woman In a Chair'-no, 'Woman In an Armchair.'" She joined him in observing the piece exhibited on the page. Some dates and factoids stood out on the page, but her vision was still blurry. "Uh… 1915…" She sighed. "I mean… It is kinda ugly."
"It's symbolism," Natsume retorted. "Who made you an art critic?"
When they were in the third grade, their teacher had put them at adjacent desks. That meant that she had to hear his voice by her ear everyday. The proximity led to a lot of angry staring-each daring the other to look away first, to blink. Mikan always blinked first.
One day, they were all doing individual geography work, cutting and gluing and coloring maps of their province. Mikan was in the middle of choosing between two different shades of blue to color a body of water when she heard Natsume's voice over the din of the classroom. "I hate school."
Constant negativity from that boy. He never had anything nice to say. Ever. This project was fun! He liked to ruin every nice mood.
"My daddy says people who complain about school are morons." That wasn't entirely accurate. Her father-a teacher who worked at a different school-had said more specifically that it was "foolish to complain about going to school" when not all children had that privilege, but "moron" seemed a more fitting word here.
"Your daddy is a moron," Natsume retorted in a mocking tone that was impossible to miss.
"No, he isn't-"
"School is awful."
Mikan's face soured even more. The audacity of this boy! She always struggled with school and always needed some extra help, with math and writing especially. But she sat next to Natsume. She knew what scores he got-all effortlessly stellar, always getting a gold star sticker on his quizzes, always a pain to see when her own assignments got scribbled all over in harsh, judgmental red. "But you're good at school!" she argued before she realized that was paying him a compliment, something she never willingly did. "Ah! I mean-"
"It's easy to be good at it," he muttered, staring at his crayon box at the corner of his desk. Easy for him to say. "It's so stupid and pointless."
"But we're coloring," Mikan said, gesturing to her colored pencils. "That's so much fun!"
"Of course you like school," he mumbled. "You're the biggest idiot of them all."
"Don't be mean or I'll-"
"Ruka's not even here. There's nothing good about this place."
Mikan blinked in surprise. "You miss Ruka-pyon, Natsume?"
He never tore his gaze away from his map. He was doing a fabulous job coloring. Somehow, all his lines went in the same direction while Mikan's just looked like a bunch of wild scribbling. His coloring was neat and light and pretty. After looking at his, hers looked pretty hideous. He sure liked to complain, didn't he?
"No," he answered. "But school does suck a little less if he's around."
"Ha! You do miss him!" Mikan beamed. "I'm surprised. I didn't know an evil boy like you could miss people because missing means loving and boys like you don't love anything-"
"You're the ugliest girl in this school," Natsume hissed. "I don't want ugly girls talking to me."
"I can't believe I was actually trying to be nice to you-!"
"No, you weren't."
"Yes, I was!"
"Say one more thing and I'll tell the teacher you're copying me."
"You're such a tattletale! I'll tell first!"
"Why would I copy off an idiot like you? You drew the map wrong anyway."
"Huh?"
"You mixed up Kyotamba with Kyotango." He shook his head with distaste. "Ugliest and stupidest girl in the school."
After that day, she started to resent seeing Natsume by Ruka's side, proving that his heart was only cold and frozen when it came to her. Otherwise, it would have been easy to think he was just like that, just cruel to everyone. An unfeeling boy incapable of kindness or love. But his affection for Ruka, and then his later friendships with Mochu and other boys, reminded Mikan that it was only her, the girl he hated most.
But apparently, he didn't consider her his worst enemy and he insisted he didn't hate her. Apparently she just didn't matter at all.
Their detention study meet ended without a huge production. One moment, Mikan was trying to explain the difference between Henri Matisse's works and the next, Makihara-sensei was telling them that time was up and they could go home.
"Natsume," she'd called to him as he slung his backpack over his shoulder. When he looked back at her, she fumbled on her words a bit. "D-don't tell anyone I helped you study. I don't want to have to explain."
He stared at her for a moment before rolling his eyes. "This is the single most boring secret I've ever had to keep." He left the room while Mikan was still rushing to shove her curriculum into her bag. He hadn't really agreed not to tell anyone, but the way he'd said what he'd said implied he would, right?
So Mikan avoided looking at him on Monday, even when she walked into class to see he and Ruka were already there, conversing (probably about the weekend!) and not even when she heard them laugh (probably about how stupid she was!) and not even when Hotaru asked, "What are they laughing about today?" (her misery, that's what).
"Probably something stupid," Mikan guessed, trying to sound casual, glaring down at her copy of The Sun Also Rises, a book she'd only read about fifteen pages of.
"Probably," Hotaru agreed, pulling out two sheets of notebook paper that were covered entirely in her careful handwriting.
"What's that?" Mikan asked, worried that those were her notes for any subject. Was this the level of dedication she was up against? "You wrote so much…"
"Speech ideas," Hotaru answered, clearing her desk of all other items, leaving only her pen and those careful notes. "Well, one idea in my case, but still-"
"Speech… ideas…?"
"Oh, God, Mikan."
The bell rang and Mikan's panic just kept building as their coach called for attention from the front of the room. "Good afternoon, decathletes! I hope you all had a great weekend!" Narumi started writing on the board. "Today is a very special day. We'll be starting our subjective practices today, starting with the easiest to prepare for-but not the easiest, mind you-speech! Tobita-kun?" With a flourish, he stepped away from the whiteboard, where he had written Aca Dec Speech Day in his flouncy hand.
Iinchou stood up and turned to his classmates and Mikan despaired to see he also had several pages of notebook paper filled with ideas for speeches. "Hey, everyone. Speech is very important in Aca Dec. Like Narumi-sensei-I mean, Coach Narumi-told us last week when he assigned this, it's good to start planning speeches around September so we can have a solid draft done by November, around Scrimmage. The sooner you get a speech shored up, the sooner you can start memorizing and the sooner you can work on timing and delivery, which are key to scoring high."
Iinchou sat down and Narumi spun his dry erase marker in between his fingers. "That's right! A lot of people get more excited about speech and subjectives, because you get to talk all about you! We're a Division I school, too, which means we take speech very seriously. All A-Team members should have their speeches entirely memorized by Regionals. We won't be a team of index cards or improv, here. All memorized, all choreographed, all perfect. But just as important as how you give your speech is what you give your speech on, which is why today is so crucial.
"You'll all come up to the front and present a couple ideas and your fellow decathletes will help you narrow down your search and tell you what's working and what's not. If you only have a couple vague ideas, that's fine. If you have a partial draft, great. Whatever you have is fine, as long as you come up and present."
Mikan didn't have a single idea. While Narumi was talking, she pulled out a notebook and tapped her pencil against the paper, hoping that her desperation might hatch one single crumb of inspiration, but she had no such luck. All that accomplished was the creation of little dots on the paper. Last year had been just as hard, and her final idea to write about her grandpa's bald head hadn't done her any favors. Maybe that's why she ended up on B Team.
"Who'd like to go first?" Narumi asked. When no one jumped to volunteer, he taunted, "Everyone will have to go sooner or later. This is mandatory."
Mikan certainly wasn't going first. She hadn't come up with anything yet!
"I'll go," Iinchou volunteered, standing up. He was always willing to take one for the team this way. It was always scary going first, but seeing as it was Iinchou going first, the rest of them had quite a bit of a challenge ahead of them, trying to live up to his level of undoubtable success. He stood at the front and waved shyly. "Hi, everyone. I think I struggled a bit with speech ideas this year. I came up with a few, but I'm not sure how interesting they are. One is the invention of popcorn. Then, the Library of Alexandria. One on jazz, and the last one here is 'hello across the world'. I have some notes on each, but what do you guys think so far?"
Hotaru's hand flew up. "Iinchou, most of those are awful."
Iinchou only smiled wryly. "Yes, I thought so."
"Jazz is boring and the content being so tied with World War One will make you bored and exhausted. You won't enjoy it and it'll show. The judges won't care about Alexandria and nobody on earth cares about the invention of popcorn." She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms. "But the 'hello' one is intriguing. What were the notes on that one?"
Most of the time, speech talk was fun. People shared ideas and got some valuable feedback. Most people in the class were nice and genuinely wanted to help each other, so there wasn't much to be afraid of. All Narumi expected from each student was to present a few ideas this way and they'd get a guaranteed A. The thing that Mikan was so afraid of now was this: Hotaru's critique.
She was brutal. Every idea seemed stupid to her, except for a very small percentage of occasional brilliance. Having Hotaru approve of an idea this way was one of the best feelings in the world. Mikan would hate to stand up in front of everyone and have Hotaru rip apart every single thought she'd ever had, concluding with something akin to, "Mikan, do us all a favor and just drop this class and join Ceramics instead." Especially because Hotaru said that last year.
By the end of his turn, Iinchou had received a lot of worthwhile advice from Hotaru as well as a few notes from Permy and Tsubasa. He sat down, satisfied, and instantly started writing down some of the pointers given to him.
"Who'd like to be ripped to shreds by our dearest Hotaru-chan next?" Narumi asked and the room stayed silent. Nobody's hand lifted up. "That's alright, I'll just call on you. How about you, Sumire-chan?"
Permy pouted but obediently rose to her feet and trudged to the front. "Hey, guys," she said, clutching a piece of paper that had-to Mikan's dismay-been entirely scribbled over with notes. "I had a couple ideas but I know they're no good. The only one that may have potential, I think, is the power of a crush."
Hotaru raised her hand but so did Tsubasa, so Permy quickly pointed to him to save herself the eviscerating feedback Hotaru was sure to give.
Hotaru wasn't cruel. She was genuinely trying to help. She wanted the Alice team to dominate, and the only way to do that was to make sure everyone was studying, everyone was working hard, and that everyone had an impeccable speech. This was her way of showing she cared. It just stung a lot.
"Elaborate on the crush thing," Tsubasa was saying.
"Well, it would be pretty straight-forward. You know, the brain chemistry of a crush, how it can influence people's choices, and then the benefits to romance. I kinda wanted to delve into the technical aspect of something mundane and universal and make it heart-felt and really meaningful."
"That's kinda cool. I really like it."
Mikan clicked and unclicked and clicked her pen. Come up with something. Something smart. Something impressive. Nothing.
Hotaru's hand was still in the air and nobody else's was so Permy reluctantly invited her to speak.
"It's just as saccharine as your speech last year," Hotaru started. "But it works for you and I think it's a pretty intriguing topic. It will need a lot of work and research to make it both informative and entertaining, but I think your grating personality can make it work. It's a speech only you could pull off."
Permy flushed and Mikan sighed, knowing full well she wouldn't be getting such glowing praise. With her feedback shored up, Permy returned to her seat and more kids were called up one by one to get humiliated by Hotaru in front of everyone. Hotaru wasn't the only one critiquing, of course. Iinchou liked to give input, and although he always sugar-coated, he could point out negatives too. Tsubasa liked to engage in creative processes like this and Permy felt her mind should always be spoken. Mikan chimed in now and again too, to be supportive, especially if it distracted her from her empty page, but she was pretty bad at giving constructive criticism because all the ideas seemed fine to her. In any case, though Hotaru was definitely not the only one raising her hand, she was definitely the most important voice in the room.
Several kids presented their ideas with stammers and averted gazes, nervous under her harsh scrutiny, but each one of them sat down with a better direction to go in, so maybe that made it worth it.
"-and while I was eating them, I realized, 'This doesn't taste much like watermelon,' but they still call it watermelon, so I kinda wanted to figure out the mystery there," Koko was saying, wrapping up his idea. He'd only come up with one, apparently, and had written four pages worth of questions about it before coming up to present.
Hotaru raised her hand, like always, to give her two cents. "So you're doing a speech on artificial flavorings?"
Koko shook his head. "What? No way. Just watermelon and just watermelon Jolly Ranchers. I kinda wanna know why they taste like that."
"That's not a speech," Hotaru said. "That's a google search that'll take you five seconds. It doesn't taste like watermelon because it isn't watermelon. It's an artificial approximation of watermelon."
"Yeah, but why?"
"Why do artificial flavors exist?" Hotaru cocked her head to the side. "Probably to maximize profits and save money since natural flavors cost more-"
"No, I mean why do Jolly Ranchers taste like that?"
Hotaru's lips pressed hard together as she became visibly enraged. Stupidity could do that to her.
"Alright!" Narumi cut in with two half-hearted claps. "Great job, Koko-kun, I think we're all very impressed with the level of detail you've presented. I'd recommend narrowing down on a specific and clear thesis. Maybe work with someone who has a clearer vision of their own speech, like Sumire-chan-"
"I'd rather throw myself in a volcano," Permy bit out.
"Now, now, we're all teammates here. One decathlete's victory is all our victory. One for all and all for one, like in the Three Musketeers."
"Except there's way more than three of us," Koko mused as he took his seat. "Anyway, I'd love to work with Permy. We should meet up sometime and talk about watermelon Jolly Ranchers for hours."
"Never," she replied.
"Okay, so who's next?" Narumi asked, scanning the room for someone who hadn't yet gone. "Ah, Mikan-chan, what about you?"
Mikan glanced down at her paper, still blank except for her name printed at the top. "Uh…"
"Come on, it's not like you to be shy!"
Mikan got up, surrendering to the fact that the next five or so minutes of her life would be terrible. "Hello," she said when she had positioned herself at the front, her blank page in hand. "I came up with a couple things," she lied. "But I don't think they're any good."
"Share with us," Narumi invited. "That's what we're here for. Maybe your ideas aren't as bad as you might think."
No, they just don't exist.
"Uhhhh…" Mikan stared at her paper and tried to search her mind for anything at all to say. "Paper," she finally said. "How do they even make it… you know?"
"They cut down trees, make a pulp, and then treat it," Hotaru answered easily. "Scrap that idea. It's awful."
"Or… uh… how… paper… industry-how the paper industry is bad for the planet?"
Tsubasa's face scrunched up. "I don't think that will be very unique. Your speech will get drowned out by all the other environmental speeches others will undoubtedly do and it could affect your scoring."
"Um… how paper…"
"No more paper," Hotaru cut in.
Mikan wished she could think of something other than paper but that was the only thing in front of her. She had no other ideas at all.
She looked up at the class, her eyes running over all the familiar faces, waiting and expectant for more ideas to come out of her mouth. Her eyes settled on Natsume.
Natsume!
She should have thought of him from the beginning! He always fired her up. His face inspired her like nothing else in the whole world.
"Enemies." The word fell out of her mouth easily, but her eyes stayed on him. She felt her heart swell with the idea. Wonderful, wonderful idea. "You know… Where does hatred come from and the history of rivals and nemesises-"
"Nemeses," Hotaru corrected.
"-Nemeses… How one person can fire you up and piss you off… You know. Enemies."
"Wow!" Narumi said, bringing his hands together. "How uncharacteristically dark of you, Mikan-chan!"
Several hands went up to comment.
Permy spoke first. "I hated all your paper ideas. They were terrible. The enemies one has potential, though. Like, what is hatred? What makes a person an enemy versus just a rando who sucks a lot?" She tossed a glare at Koko when she said the last few words but he didn't seem to notice. "I just don't know if you of all people are the best person to write this speech. It might be a bit more than you're able to pull off."
"Hey!" Mikan defended, her blank page wrinkling in her hand. "I came up with it!"
Tsubasa grinned at her when it was his turn. "I love it, Mikan. Super negative, super weird coming from you, but I think it's refreshing. I think you should really play it up when you perform it-dress as sweet as possible and begin the speech with some hook about love and peace so that when you start talking about hatred, it really hits hard. I think it'll be great."
"Thank you!"
Mikan skimmed the room for more raised hands but Hotaru didn't wait for permission before speaking. "Honestly, anything would be better than paper, but I'm pleasantly surprised. That idea is pretty good. We'll have to see if you can do a decent job writing it, but right now, in an abstract form, I'm pretty this is the best you've ever done as far as ideas go. Much better than Jii-chan's bald head."
Mikan's face suddenly lit on fire at the memory of last year's failed speech. Thank goodness B Team didn't participate in subjectives so no judge had to hear her wax poetic about male pattern baldness for three and a half minutes. She smiled at the class and took a seat, simultaneously eager to escape the scrutiny and proud of herself for coming up with something so genius on short notice.
Hotaru went next, flatly telling the class, "I've already decided to give my speech on free market capitalism. This is my rough draft." The whole class sat enthralled as she read out her speech. Though Mikan thought it sounded pretty heartless and clinical, her delivery was fierce and her logic seamless. What a dangerous individual.
Nobody gave her any criticism. The fear was visible in the wavering of the few hands raised. All comments were limited to adoring praise that she was gonna claim for herself a shiny gold medal in speech for sure. Hotaru sat back down in her seat with no ceremony.
The next few kids shared their ideas and very few won Hotaru's support, leading to a significant drop in enthusiasm and a certain chill in the air. Mikan thought she caught Hoshino wipe a tear away at her best friend's searing indictment of his idea to give a speech on climate change.
Then it was finally Natsume's turn and he barely glanced at her as he stood at the front. As far as she could tell, he seemed like he was genuinely going to keep it a secret that she had helped him study during detention. The fact that he wasn't paying any special attention to her and wasn't even making eye contact (not even to smirk or brag) reassured her that he was doing his part like they'd agreed.
He held his paper loosely in his hands and though Mikan couldn't see much from where she was sitting, she could tell there were only a handful of words scrawled on it.
"I don't really know how speeches work here," he started. Good point. Aca Dec valued originality over anything else. When you want your speech to stand out, giving a well-meaning speech about gender equality or ending war was noble and all, but was bound to get yours mixed up with everyone else's. It was important to make an impression, to talk about something the judges didn't usually think about.
Mikan sat back in her seat, sure that Natsume had no better prepared for this than she had. He was bound to humiliate himself. She was excited to watch it unfold. He glanced at her, and for a moment it almost seemed like there was nervousness in his eyes. Just that passing second was enough to make her panic. What if he was gonna bring up detention to the whole class? She could imagine it now, his smug face as he detailed last Saturday. "I was thinking I'd give a speech on how our classmate Sakura Mikan acts all smart but is terrible at Art. I tested her this weekend as an experiment and the idiot fell for it-"
Or even worse, maybe he'd give a speech on enemies too, and when it came down to written form, his would be far superior, leagues better than hers, and she'd have to listen to him perform her idea to the class over and over again before the competitions.
"So maybe it's not a great idea," he continued. He exhaled in surrender and his gaze settled on the floor before he mumbled, "But I thought of cats."
Mikan's mouth fell open in surprise. She wasn't the only one. Apparently, nobody had expected that last word to end his sentence, not even Hotaru, whose one raised eyebrow signified her shock.
"Elaborate," Mikan heard Permy say in a strained voice. "Like… like, what about cats?"
"Uh… You know, how black cats get called unlucky. People kill them. It's pretty fucked up, actually."
Mikan turned to Narumi, expecting a scolding since Natsume was swearing in class, but his hand was covering his mouth and he was staring just as intently as everyone else, fully captivated by the boy at the front.
Another beat of silence passed before Tsubasa giggled. "That's crazy. I really wasn't expecting that!"
"Oh, I love that secret soft side of you, Natsume-kun!" Permy swooned.
Mikan's hand flew up. Natsume made firm eye contact with her for the first time that day. The heat of his red eyes reminded her of when he'd mysteriously pressed his forehead against hers, or when she'd spent Saturday with her arm against his, looking through the Art curriculum and almost having fun until she'd caught herself.
Nobody could ever know. Nothing like that could ever happen again. Hopefully he understood that too.
"Yes, Polka Dots," he said, his gaze steady and unbothered.
"It's a bit weak. Did you even prepare anything before just now?"
Natsume's eyes moved to the blank paper on her desk, the one she'd brought to the front with her, before returning to her face. "Yes, I did. I came up with it in June."
"Your paper looks blank!"
"I didn't write a rough draft, like Imai, but…" He lifted up the paper to show everyone. "I couldn't think of anything besides black cats." Mikan still couldn't see very much on the page. "What's weak about it?"
"I mean, animal rights is such a broad topic."
Hotaru's hand went up then.
"Hotaru, I'm not done-"
"I think it's good," Hotaru said, ignoring Mikan. "For now, that is. You'll have to strengthen it. Mikan is right that it's weak right now, but everyone except for me has a weak topic right now because they're all concepts. But I think it's an interesting start. Plus, sympathy always works with the judges. I like it."
Mikan felt rage fill her lungs. Her own best friend was complimenting her worst enemy! Was there no loyalty in this class?
Long after Natsume had sat back down, after all the other kids went up to get their lists torn to smithereens by Hotaru's sharp tongue, after Narumi had assigned the class with writing their speeches next, after the bell rang, Mikan still felt that rage boiling in her blood. She didn't think about packing her bag. She just stood up and walked over to Natsume's desk before realizing she didn't really have anything to say to him.
"What?" he asked, shoving his piece of paper into his backpack.
"You-You… Well…" She glanced around herself. "Have you told anyone about Saturday?"
"What about Saturday?"
"You know. Art."
He maintained their mutual staring with no issue, no faltering, no withering. "Nope."
"Good. Very good. Well, then, just… don't."
"Sure."
"Cool." She tried to catch her breath. "I hate you. Bye."
"See ya."
She started walking away, but then he called out to her.
"Oh, and I liked your speech idea."
She walked away even faster, watching her vision redden under the power of his sarcasm. He couldn't let her get away without insulting her, of course. He had seen how well the class had taken her only good idea ever, and then had to ruin it with a snarky little comment. Just like always.
Mikan should've felt relieved at least that her moment of weakness on Saturday would remain a secret forever, but instead she just felt frustrated that she could get so mad at somebody without any way to release it. Natsume didn't have to do anything to get under her skin. All he had to do was breathe and Mikan's brain buckled. She'd wanted to tear his speech idea apart in front of everyone, to humiliate him so he could feel even a fraction of the way Mikan felt around him at any given moment. She'd wanted to tell him his speech was weak and have everyone agree, but they didn't, of course.
It was a good idea. Who out there was indifferent to the plights of innocent little kittens? The judges would love that, love him. He'd get high scores all around. No, it wasn't weak.
The only weak thing in that classroom was her.
"I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe;
I told it not, my wrath did grow.
And I water'd it in fears,
Night and morning with my tears;
And I sunnéd it with smiles
And with soft deceitful wiles.
And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright;
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine,
And into my garden stole,
When the night had veil'd the pole:
In the morning glad I see
My foe outstretch'd beneath the tree." -William Blake, "
A Poison Tree"