Video Link: /watch/dIRsGEF4BXs
Viewer Discretion: The following is intended only for mature audiences. Viewer discretion is advised.
Appearing in "US Presidents Play Mario Kart Wii"
Featured characters:
Presidents (First appearance)
Donald Trump (First appearance)
President Joe Biden (First appearance)
President Barack Obama (First appearance)
Supporting characters:
Princess Daisy (First appearance) (Only on TV)
Bones Bowser (First appearance) (Only on TV)
Birdo (First appearance) (Only on TV)
Antagonists:
Other characters:
Michelle Obama (Mentioned)
Races and species:
Humans (First appearance)
Turtles (First appearance) (Only on TV)
Koopas (First appearance) (Only on TV)
Skeleton Koopas (First appearance) (Only on TV)
Dinosaurs (First appearance) (Only on TV)
Locations:
Earth-44 (First appearance)
Earth (First appearance)
North America (First appearance)
United States of America (First appearance)
Washington D.C. (First appearance)
Obama residence (First appearance)
Items:
Barack Obama's Wii (First appearance)
Vehicles:
Mario Kart Wii vehicles (First appearance)
Events:
COVID-19 pandemic in the United States (First appearance)
2020 United States presidential election (Mentioned)
Plot
President of the United States (POTUS) Joe Biden and former presidents Donald Trump and Barack Obama arrive at the latter's residence in Washington D.C. to play Mario Kart Wii, with Biden playing Birdo, Trump playing Skeleton Bowser, and Obama playing Princess Daisy, respectively. While being behind in second place initially, Trump rallies in the final lap to defeat Biden and Obama, who fall to second and third place, respectively.
Alex picked up the remote, went on the YouTube app, and typed "Presidents Play" in its searchbar and went on the channel. Under "Videos", he filtered it under "Oldest". Alex pressed play on the oldest video "US Presidents Play Mario Kart Wii".
The video began with the Presidents: Barack Obama, Donald Trump, and Joe Biden preparing to play Mario Kart Wii.
Obama: All right, boys, I think it's time to play some Mario Kart Wii.
Donald: Let's play Coconut Ball. It really is the best track.
Obama: Let's play Mario Circuit since it's Joe's first time playing.
"Really?" everybody nodded.
Earth-44 Joe nodded.
Donald: Oh, that's right. I forgot. No wonder you picked Birdo.
Joe: Hey, man, what's wrong with Birdo?
Donald: Oh, it's nothing, she's just low-tiered garbage, that's all. Dry Bowser with flame rider, he's a much more respected combo.
Obama: Donald, it's really not that deep.
Donald: Deeper than Michelle, that's for sure.
Everybody laughed. The only ones who didn't were Earth-44 Obama and Michelle.
Obama: All right, orange man, you're done for!
Donald (commenting on Joe starting): Joe, you have got to get a rocket start.
Joe: What the hell is a rocket start?
Obama: Joe, you can get a rocket start by starting to go when Lakitu hits two.
Joe: What's a Lakitu?
1980s Gamer looked aghast.
"What's wrong?" Earth-44 Joe asked.
"It's just how can you play a Nintendo Wii or Mario Kart Wii without knowing who Lakitu is?" he explained.
Obama: You're making this hard for me, Joe.
Donald (as he zooms by Barack and Joe): Get sniped, bitch!
Obama: Donald, we just started this game and you're already being a prick.
Donald: Maybe you should just get on my level, Barack.
Obama: Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay Donald.
Donald runs into a huge Chomp Chomp.
Donald: Dammit!
Obama: Yeah, karma's a bitch, ain't it Donald?
"Yeah it is." everybody said.
Joe: Let's go! I got a King Mushroom.
Donald: Joe, it's called a Golden Dash Mushroom.
Joe: Okay, Don, but look who's in the lead?
Obama: Goddammit!
Donald (laughing): Barack, I saw that and don't you worry, too, Sleepy Joe, I got something coming for you.
Joe: Oh, come on man! He is hit by a red turtle. Shit!
Donald: Oh, there's more of where that came from.
A red turtle hits Joe.
Joe: Stop! He is hit a third and final time. I said, stop!
Everybody laughed.
Obama: I'd stop arguing if I were the two of you because you're both about to get squished.
Joe: Goddammit, Donald, look at what you've caused!
Donald: No, this is not my fault. Maybe you should have been more protected, Joe.
Joe: Yeah, maybe you should have been more protected with your three wives, too.
Everybody laughed.
Obama: I'm sorry, can you be a bit louder? I can't hear you guys back there.
Donald: Oh, shut up, Barack! We are only on lap 2.
Joe avoids a red shell from Donald.
Joe: Yeah, no red shells today, Donald. As he is talking, he is hit with a red shell. Wait, what?
Donald: Suck on that, Joe! My red shell timing there was absolutely impeccable.
Joe: Come on, man, what a bunch of luck.
Donald gets hit by the Chain Chomp again.
Donald: God fucking dammit, what the hell?!
Everybody laughed.
Obama: Donald, how are you gonna get hit by the Chain Chomp twice?
Donald: Oh, shut your trap, Barack, there's a Blue Shell coming right your way!
Obama gets hit by a Blue Shell.
Obama: Ah, shit.
Donald: Yeah, who was the karma now, bitch?
Obama: Oh, what the hell, Donald? You had to do all of that and I'm still in first place?
"Yeah, that was unnecessary." Earth-44 Joe said.
Donald: Oh, don't worry– wait, what?! He slips on his own banana peels.
Joe: How are you gonna slip on your own banana and then get absolutely red shelled and they call me the noob?
Donald: Joe, shut the fuck up! I still got one lap to come back!
Everybody snorted.
Obama: I don't know Donnie, I'm pretty far ahead of you here.
Joe: Better watch out, Barack.
Obama: You know what? I can afford it.
Joe: Are you sure? I got three more shells in another box right here. He is hit by a red shell. Oh, what?
Donald (screaming): BLUE SHELL!
Obama: Oh, dammit!
Donald: Bye bye, sleepy Joe! He gets a Golden Mushroom as an item. Golden Mushroom, go, go, go! No Chain Chomp this time.
Obama: Oh, no.
Donald: Oh, look who's in first place this time? Donald uses a ramp to get past the Chain Chomp. "Too far behind", my ass.
Obama: Donald, this is why no one ever wants to play with your crusty ass!
Everybody laughed, except Earth-44 Donald and Melanie.
Joe: What he said.
Donald: What did you say? I can't hear you back there.
Obama: Oh, shut the fuck up!
Joe: Blue Shell.
Donald: Sounds like there may be some sore losers as I get first, baby, let's go! Donald passes the finish line first.
Obama gets blue shelled by Joe.
Obama: Joe, what the hell?!
Joe: Come on, man, let's get second, go, go, go!
Obama: There is no chance in hell I'm letting Joe beat me. He passes the finish line first, as Joe finishes in last place. Yeah, that's what I thought.
Joe: Hey, man, I got pretty close, too.
"Participation trophies for Jedi, there are not." Lego Yoda repeated his line from the Lego Star Wars Holiday Special.
On the screen, Dry Bowser gets 15 points, Daisy gets 8, and Birdo gets 2, with Dry Bowser being in first place, Daisy being in second, and Birdo being in third place, respectively.
Obama: Just like Mr. Orange Man was close to beating you in 2020?
Donald: Say what you want, Obama, but I still came out here on top as the best Mario Kart player.
Obama: Donald, you know there's still three races to go, right?
Donald: What?
As a bomb special effect is used, a "Thanks For Watching!" message is read.
And that's the end of the chapter. In the next chapter, we will go over the video "US Presidents Play Mario Kart Wii 2".