Video Link: /watch/I8J8sMDt5XU
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Appearing in "US Presidents Play Mario Kart Wii 2"
Main characters:
Presidents
President Joe Biden
Donald Trump
Barack Obama
Supporting characters:
Dry Bones Bowser (Only on TV)
Princess Daisy (Only on TV)
Birdo (Only on TV)
Antagonists:
Other characters:
Michelle Obama (Mentioned)
Luigi (Luigi Mario) (Mentioned) (Topical reference)
John F. Kennedy (Mentioned) (Deceased)
Organizations:
Presidents of the United States (POTUS)
Races and species:
Humans (homo sapiens)
Dinosaurs (Only on TV)
Turtles (Only on TV)
Koopas (Only on TV)
Skeleton Koopas (Only on TV)
Locations:
Earth-44
Earth
North America
United States of America
Washington D.C.
Obama residence
Items:
Barack Obama's Wii
Vehicles:
Events:
COVID-19 pandemic in the United States
2020 United States presidential election (Mentioned)
First presidential term of Joe Biden
Fall at Air Force Base (Referenced)
Plot
The Presidents play the second race, which Donald Trump wins again.[a]
Notes
a. Donald Trump won the first race in "US Presidents Play Mario Kart Wii".
Alex clicked on the next video, "US Presidents Play Mario Kart Wii 2".
The video began with The Presidents: Barack Obama, Donald Trump, and Joe Biden getting ready for the second race.
Donald: All right, gents, I'm thinking we do DK Summit next. It just came out for the Booster Course Pass.
Joe: Let's do another track.
Obama: Joe's right. How about let's do Daisy Circuit?
Donald: Barack, you son of a bitch, this might just be one of the easiest tracks in the game.
Obama: It's called warming up, Donald.
Donald: Hey, Barack, if you are Daisy, does that make Michelle Luigi?
Obama: Are you trying to say that my wife has a mustache?
Everybody laughed.
Donald: Hey, there's nothing wrong with a little peach fuzz.
Obama: Says the one that got put in a peach.
Everybody chuckled.
Joe: All right, how do I rocket start again?
Obama: At two, Joe.
Donald: Now!
Joe: Okay, oh, boy! (after he fails to rocket start) Oh, what the hell?
Donald (laughing): There is no way this buffoon just burned out.
Everybody snorted.
Joe: What the hell happened?
Obama: Joe, you must have held the go button too early.
Donald: Looks like sleepy Joe woke up too early for once.
Everybody chuckled.
Joe: Shut up, Don.
Donald (ignoring Joe): Man, I love this stairs shortcut. It's such a creative shortcut!
Joe: Only time I've seen you use the stairs.
Everybody laughed.
Donald: Okay, well at least I'm not falling down them like you.
Obama: He's got a point there, Joe.
Donald: Why, thank you, Barack.
Joe (after he gains the Thundercloud item): Alright, what in the world is this?
Obama: That's a Thundercloud, Joe, it gives you a speed boost for a short period of time.
Joe: Well, that's actually pretty sick!
Donald: Yeah, there's no downside to it all right, Barack?
Everybody snickered, knowing he was being sarcastic.
Obama: Yeah, none at all.
Suddenly, in the game, Joe is electrocuted.
Joe: Oh, what in the nutcracker?
Donald: There's no way Joe just said "What in the nutcracker?". What does that even mean, Joe?
Joe: Fuck you, Donald. Fuck you, Barack. You lying sons of bitches.
Donald: Skill issue, Joe. Skill issue.
Everybody chuckled.
Barack: Hey, Donnie, this stage is orange just like you.
Donald: I don't know what you're trying to get it with that, Barack, but as far as I see right now, I'm in first place.
Obama: Not in 2020 you weren't.
Donald: Oh, fuck off!
Joe (after getting electrocuted in Mario Kart Wii): Ouch!
Obama: You get absolutely sniped, Joe.
Donald: Not as excellent as the snipe I pulled off in the last game. I had you looking like JFK.
"That joke aged as much as Donald's hair." Earth-44 Obama said.
Obama: Donald, it does not shock me at all that you'd say something like that.
Donald: Freedom of speech, Barack! I know my rights!
Barack: Well, Don, I have the right to tell you to shut the fuck up!
Everybody laughed.
Joe: Time to go mega.
Donald: Oh my God, Joe, you're so behind, no one cares about your Mega Mushroom.
Joe: Donald, I am sick of you acting so cocky whenever you are at front.
Donald: And what are you gonna do about it, Joe?
Joe: I'll put on the old ColecoVision and I'll kick your ass in Donkey Kong anytime.
"It's 2023, Joe." Earth-44 Donald pointed out.
Donald: What the fuck is a ColecoVision?
Obama: Joe, Donkey Kong is a one-player game. How would you beat Donald in Donkey Kong?
Joe: It's called a point system, Barack.
Obama: You're right, Joe. I forgot about all that.
Joe: Right.
Donald: All right, who put fucking bananas in front of my stairs?!
Obama: Donald, that was literally you.
Joe: Yeah, man.
Donald: No, it wasn't.
"Yes, it was." Earth-44 Joe and Obama said at the same time.
Obama: Shit.
Donald: Yeah, that's what you get, Barack.
Obama: Donald, I have not went into the stairs once this race.
Donald: Wrong.
Obama: How on God's green Earth could I put the banana there?
Donald: I don't know.
Joe: The blue shell.
Donald: Your blue shell means nothing. I am so far ahead.
Joe: You just shut up, man?
Donald: Maybe if you'd spend less time hugging the wall, you'd be in my position.
Everybody laughed.
Obama: Donald, can you turn your fucking sliders down?
Donald: I warned you, Barack. This stage is too easy for me.
Obama: Well, at least I'm beating Joe again.
Joe: This is not fair man.
Donald: Well, Joe, now you know how it feels to have something rigged against you? He passes the finish line, finishing in first place again. And… first place, baby, let's go!
Obama: Goddammit!
Donald: Barack, how are you gonna lose on your own circuit?
Everybody raised an eyebrow.
Obama: You see, Donald, some of us have better things to do with our lives than grind on Mario Kart.
Joe: Yeah, man.
Donald: I highly doubt that. There is nothing greater than the serotonin boost of winning a race in Mario Kart.
Joe: Yeah, okay, man.
Donald: It's okay, Joe, I'm sure you've never felt that feeling before. Joe and Obama pass the finish line, as their points are added.
Obama: The cup ain't halfway over, Don.
Donald: Okay and when the fuck did I ask? A "Thanks For Watching!" message appears as the video ends.
And that's the chapter. In the next chapter we will go over the video "US Presidents Play Mario Kart Wii 3".