Disclaimer:

I solemnly swear that the literature and works of the Harry Potter Verse belong to JK Rowling, Bloomberg and Warner Bros. The only thing I own are the one-shot ideas that popped into my head and whatever OCs I would create for them. This is a work of pure fiction made solely for fun, constructive reviews will be welcomed, flames will be ignored. Any references to characters in real-life or fiction are purely coincidental. If I could make money out of my ideas, it would be nice...

Mischief Managed Damn It!

Title: A Guide to Constant Vigilance (Working Title)

Posted Date: July 27 2023

Tags: Crack Story, Paranoid Harry, Hermione needs a drink, Ron needs therapy, Incompetent Dumbledore

Possible Challenges: Harry not entered into Triwizard Tournament, Harry accidentally thwarting all plans, story to be complete by fourth year, Harry getting an accidental multi relationship

"Hmm, what to do?" Harry Potter thought aloud as he looked at his trunk half-opened and his homework strewn across the table and the bed, his owl Hedwig looking upon the mess with a disapproving eye. He had arrived two days earlier at the Leaky Cauldron after the blowout at his aunt's house that saw Aunt Marge become a human weather balloon and flew away in the wind, taking the weirdest and craziest bus ride imaginable that had his heart clenching at the turns and stops. He had then encountered the Minister of Magic right at the front door, assuring him that he was not in trouble with the spot of accidental magic and that he should stay indoors if not the general area of Diagon Alley just in case. Harry was not sure why people were insistent that he keep to the Alley but did not bother too much since he was away from the Dursleys.

The only issue currently was him being bored, he did not have the mood to do the homework, but he could not leave the Cauldron to go into modern London, not that he would be able to anyway since he was specifically told to stay on this side of town for the next couple of weeks. He supposed he could go to Diagon Alley to grab the books and maybe pop over to the bank to get some extra money before the rush hour period came along.

You know what? He should do that. He did not want to get stuck in a room for the rest of the summer before leaving for Hogwarts.

With that in mind, Harry closed his books and went to tidy up the room under the watchful eye of Hedwig, grabbed his pouch and then made his way downstairs. He waved to Tom the bartender as he went to the back and opened up the path to Diagon Alley, taking the moment to enjoy seeing the bricks move about to let him through. He then moved on to Gringotts while keeping his head low to avoid the other wizards and witches, greeted the guards and teller, and then moved on to get his pocket gold (he chuckled a little at that) before leaving the premises, without seeing the looks of surprise on the goblins' faces.

Harry first went to the apothecary to grab his potion items, followed by stationery and some extra clothes for himself since he was growing out of his old set. After returning to dump them in his room and a quick lunch, Harry moved on to Flourish and Blotts to get his books, where he saw a spectacle in the form of the harassed manager trying to stop what looked to a hive of the type of book he had gotten from Hagrid from tearing each other apart. Harry thought that the man looked so harassed that he should try and find the books first before he asked the man. This was also a chance for him to explore the bookshop since he never really did so the past couple of years, having been rushed around to get what he needed before being sent back to the Dursleys or the Burrow, and not allowed to move about the alley.

Harry entered the shop and walked past the manager to go through the different aisles to find the books for himself. For most of the core subjects, he was able to find them easy enough, but for the elective regarding divination, he was having a bit of time trying to find it. That was when the manager, Mister Anton, came around to check on the stores and met him there. After a quick trip to get what he needed and placing the books by the counter, Harry told the manager that he was going to continue looking about the store before he paid for the lot. After that, he went further into the store, the lighting getting darker as he did.

"Wow, I don't think anyone has been this far back before." Harry nudged a stack of books in the corner to see the dust drift off from the movement before looking about the shelves. He already had a few new books in his basket that caught his fancy, including a book from the bargain bin that talked about the different culture differences and how to help muggle-borns be integrated into society better. Something that would have helped him greatly in the past two years. He was turning around the corner when he tripped over something that caused him to fall against the shelf and make some of the books fall off the shelves.

"Oh bother." Harry grumbled as he steadied himself and turned to find what he tripped over only to blink at something that was apparently invisible to the naked eye if not for the thin layer of dust that had piled on top of it. He reached out in curiosity and grabbed it to dust it off, the action seemingly doing something to show the outline of the book cover before it split open to reveal pages. Harry mused at the oddity as he held the book open while turning to find that he could look through the book from the cover side, but not through the actual pages. He then looked to the first few pages to find the title, and got it on the second page.

"The Invisible Book of Invisibility." Harry let out a chuckle at the name that was rather on the nose. He looked through some of the content and noted the spells written in them. The book listed out their strengths, weaknesses and their applications to a number of items or situations, some of which would have been very useful on his adventures. Harry looked to where he tripped and found what was likely the other books of the same topic strewn over the floor and only have the dust marks or other stains to indicate their positions. He took a bit of time to gather them into a loose stack, and in the process found a way to make them visible for a short while by accident. After applying it to his copy, Harry gathered back his other books into the basket and then went to get the ones on the floor to put back on their shelves.

It was picking up the last book that Harry paused at the odd cover that looked quite worn out, and it took a while for him to read the faded wording.

"A Guide to Constant Vigilance?" Harry hummed as he opened the book only to blink at the symbols and circles on it. "Is this in code? Who is the author?" Harry closed the book and looked at the backing where a snapshot of a man with messy hair, more scars on his face than humanly possible, and a fake eye that kept swirling around in the socket to make him queasy. Harry looked past that and found the name.

"Alastor Moody, Senior Auror of the DMLE." Harry spoke out loud before returning to the first page. At first glance, it looked to be random gibberish, which might explain the dust on the book and the location, but the more Harry looked at it, he started noting a pattern that appeared every so often between big paragraphs, like they represented spacing of words in a manner similar to morse code. A smile started to appear on his face as he tried to decipher the text on his own; he used to do puzzles before Hogwarts as a way of passing time and to keep from getting bored, and he did not do as much in Hogwarts, so he was excited to find the magical equivalent. He just needed a way to understand the pictures and language.

And he happened to be in a bookshop. How lucky indeed.

Harry added the book to his basket and looked about the shop a bit more before he went back to the counter to get his items checked out. "Mister Anton." Harry held up the two books he had found to the manager. "Can I have these two? And do you know what I need to read this one?"

"Well, how do you like that?" Mister Anton took the two books in his hand and looked at them with a slightly twitchy mouth. "I did not think I would see these two anytime soon."

"You did not know you had these books?" Harry blinked at that.

"I do, but these two were examples of poor planning on our part." Mister Anton held up the book on invisibility. "We ordered 200 copies of this book and we could not find them after collecting them. It cost us a fortune to cover the loss within 3 months." He then held up the other. "As for this, Alastor was one of the Aurors asked to create a general guide to being prepared during the war, he only ever made ten since he did not want to be bothered about it, and people did not want to waste time in deciphering the text and spells on it. I am honestly surprised we still have a copy in here." Harry nodded as he listened to him, trying to imagine what it was like back then. Considering it was pure luck that he stumbled upon the invisibility book and the guide book, it must have been a hassle for the managers back then.

"Don't suppose you have stumbled on the other books of invisibility?" The manager asked with a hopeful tone. Harry laughed lightly and pointed to the general area where he found and remade the stack of it. "All right, I will try my luck later, but for that bit of info, you get to have these two for free, and I insist on it." Mister Anton rushed to speak to him before Harry could reject, having known the boy over the past few times when he came to visit this week. The boy in question could only sigh in defeat, granting him a smirk. "Still, if you really want to decipher and read Alastor's book, you are going to need other material to understand his code. Funnily enough, these are the subjects being given during the third year." He paused before continuing.

"If I may be frank, Mister Potter? I feel that you may do better with Ancient Runes and Arithmancy instead of Divination for your subjects. Care for Magical Creatures is somewhat okay if you wish to know what creatures to avoid or obtain material for potions or wands in the future, but Divination is not really helpful unless you have the Sight to predict your future, or you want to get stressed out from all the signs that people would think is bad for their life. Seers are rare for this reason, most students these days choose this subject just for the easy grade. Ancient Runes are good if you want to understand the language of alternative magic without wands, and are also helpful with making ciphers for codes. That makes it ideal for jobs such as curse-breaking and ward creations. Arithmancy is useful in breaking and making spells, more so when combined with the former. It is also worth mentioning that the subject is more accurate in making predictions since it does not require the 'Sight' or any other weird bits." Harry bit his lip while he considered the manager's words. He mostly chose Care for Magical Creatures for the possibility of facing more creatures that would want to kill if not eat him based on the past couple of years, while the Divination option was because he listened to Ron for an easy grade, and he did not want to disappoint him.

But was he doing enough?

He would not lie that he was keeping low out of the habit ingrained by Dudley, so that he would not be harmed or blamed by anyone for having better grades. But since he started Hogwarts, it was not like the Dursleys even bothered to check his report card since the wizards used a totally different grade system to tell their students which they were good in or needed more help. A part of him was still hampered due to his friendship with Ron Weasley, who kept complaining about homework and wanted to have fun, and Hermione Granger, who seemed to react poorly to people who do better than her. But having been told a bit of his parents by the different store owners in Diagon Alley, Harry felt like he was letting them down and wanted to do better.

Should he not do better?

"Here you go." Harry blinked at the interruption and at the additional books added to his pile. "I could tell from your expression, so I went ahead to grab these for you. Just to let you sink your teeth in those subjects. Now unless the rules have changed since the last time I was in Hogwarts, you are allowed to change your subjects before the start of the year, or you have gone for the first lesson and find it lacking, you can appeal for a change in subjects, they can't stop you doing it. It should be instantaneous but in the event they refuse without proper reasons, consider taking note of them and then appeal to the Board of Governors." Mr Anton patted the books with a smirk. "Again, these books are on the house. Best to put that brain of yours to work."

"Oh no, I will be paying for these in full." Harry put his foot down on this, he cannot afford to live on charity.

"Oh?" The manager's smile became a businessman's smirk. "I do not mind you paying less if that is what you want. How about one-fifth of the total?"

"Three-quarters." Harry countered.

"One-quarter."

"One-third."

"That, and you may include these two books for deciphering Alastor's book along with 2 extras for the purchase. Final offer." Mister Anton brought a hand while Harry pondered on that before nodding.

"Deal." Harry shook the hand and they both gave a nod, pausing at the snickering from the other customer watching them banter. Mister Anton rolled his eyes and gestured to Harry to get the rest of his purchase before he brought up the amount for the boy to pay. With that settled, Harry took his books and waved his hand at the shop keeper as he returned to his room. Entering the room, Harry left his purchase by the door while he went to clean up the room even more to the approval of Hedwig when she came through the window a few minutes later. After having tidied the room up to some form of order, Harry grabbed the purchases and laid them out, with the guide in front of him. For the next couple of hours, Harry went to work on the book, remembering the old feeling of solving puzzles as more of the sentences in the few pages he was deciphering became more understanding, and actual words were appearing on the notebook.

He had nothing better to do other than homework, he must as well continue breaking the cipher to pass the time. And if this book had something useful to help with considering all that had happened in Hogwarts, he could use some constant vigilance.

(Somewhere in London, commuters wondered why there was lightning and thunder on a clear day with the tune of an organ piano playing on the speakers. Deep underground, a few Auror cadets in training hugged each other in fear at the sound of their recently retired senior Auror laughing like a mad man, while a few Ministry personnel shivered from chills going down their backs, and one DMLE Director had the sudden urge to grab the 100 year old Scotch from her drawer and drink her headaches away. In Hogwarts, several staff members had the urge to resign on the spot and head to countries unknown to get away from an incoming mess while the headmaster had a sudden feeling that plans were going to go bust, and a certain sorting hat had the feeling that it had front row seats for mayhem.)

Author's Notes

Essentially, a crack story to be taken as serious as Drunk Weasley Twins on Crack, weaponized by the Marauders, and let loose on unsuspecting folks to give unspoken terror and trauma.

Merlin help us all.