A/N: ****TW: small mention of previous self-harm as a young person, by a now-adult.****
Also, I did warn you about what's coming in the tags. Some of y'all don't read that do you...
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Her whole body ached as if she'd been run over by a lorry. She tried to move, but she felt like she was being squashed by something heavy and wondered if maybe she had been run over.
"Hermione?"
She blinked, as best she could. She was pretty sure that was her name.
"Hermione?"
She knew that voice even if she knew nothing else, and she tried desperately to crawl out of the darkness towards it.
"That's it. Come on back, sweetheart."
The light was blinding and she immediately closed her eyes again, turning away. There was a shuffle and the heaviness left her, and then something cool cupped her face.
"The lights are out. It's alright."
She blinked her eyes open again and looked up. Minerva McGonagall's relieved face stared back at her and she smiled.
"Oh, yeh had us worried, Trouble," Minerva groaned, brushing her thumb against Hermione's cheek. "How are you? How do you feel?"
"Like I've been run over," Hermione groaned, frowning at how deep her voice sounded. "I -" she cleared her throat. "That's weird." Minerva tried to smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "What happened?" She looked at her properly. "What happened to your face!"
"Oh darling," Minerva sighed, her forehead resting on the pillow beside Hermione's cheek. "We'll get to that. Let me get Poppy and then we will have to -"
"No -" Hermione said, her voice echoing around the space. Her hand snapped out and grabbed hold of Minerva's firmly.
"I -"
They stared at each other for a long time before they were finally disturbed by Poppy coming in.
"Oh! Miss Granger, you're awake."
Hermione blinked and let go of Minerva's hand, before she reached for it again, almost without meaning to. Their little fingers wrapped around each other as Hermione turned to Madam Pomfrey.
"How are you feeling?"
"Fine," Hermione shrugged. "Tired, but sore. But okay. My voice is weird. What happened?"
"We're going to let Professor Dumbledore handle that part. You were caught out in the snow," she said factually. "Minerva found you and brought you back but," she sighed. "Alb - Professor Dumbledore will explain. I'll go and get him."
"Minerva?" Hermione muttered as she left. "What the hell is going on?"
"Will you wait for Albus?" She asked softly. "Please? Because I'm not entirely sure either."
"But you -"
"I found you but then," she winced. "Something happened and we're not completely sure what it was. Albus is checking in with Alastor and in the library."
"Am I okay?" Hermione squeaked. She felt fine, physically. In fact, aside from being hungry and tired, she felt brilliant.
"Yes," Minerva said but she didn't look particularly convinced.
"Are you okay?"
She reached over, though her arm felt ten times heavier than usual and ran her thumb over the terrible bruising on Minerva's face.
Minerva blinked and Hermione stared as the bruising on Minerva's face faded away under her thumb.
"Min -"
"I'm fine," she pulled away.
"Minerva," Hermione growled, hearing it rumble in her chest.
Minerva shuddered and stopped moving away. Hermione frowned at the response and was about to comment when Madam Pomfrey and Professor Dumbledore walked in.
"Ah, Miss Granger, how are you?"
"Fine," she shrugged, sitting up a bit and realising she was in her underwear. "I really need to know what happened, though?"
"When did you -"
Poppy Pomfrey looked at them both, then back at Hermione.
"Did you do that?"
"I think so," Hermione whispered. "Didn't mean to."
The three adults shared a look before Dumbledore stepped forward.
"What do you remember?"
"Min left me by the back gate," she muttered. "Truly terrible plan, by the way." Professor Dumbledore snickered and nodded in what looked like an apology so Hermione continued. "It was so cold and the wind was blowing sideways. I could barely see the wall, let alone, anything coming at me. I knew the importance of staying where I was so I did. My coat wasn't warm enough, I didn't know the best way to keep warm and then, I remember feeling giddy at some point, like someone had done a cheering charm on me. I was totally out of it and then someone came out of the snow and I fired as soon as I saw him, but," she frowned, trying to reach back into her memory. "I think he shot at me?"
"He did," Dumbledore said gently. "What happened next?"
"He went down and so did I? I think? It gets hazy afterwards. I remember laughing, oh, yes. That's when I felt giddy. I was laughing hysterically, even as I was thinking of how stupid the whole thing was. I may have taken my coat off?" Minerva made a noise to her left but their fingers remained entwined as she continued. "Wait, did I throw my wand?"
She watched Dumbledore meet Minerva's eyes over her and Minerva sighed and rubbed her head.
"I did not think to check. You were unconscious. I," she sighed. "I confess, it never crossed my mind and since then, I have not been back or thought to look for it. I should have -"
"I will have Alastor go and look for it when I go and see him presently," Albus soothed. "It's alright, Minerva."
"The cheering charm sounds like hypothermia," Madam Pomfrey interjected. "That is not an unusual symptom. Did your hands and feet get warm?"
"Oh," Hermione blinked as she remembered. "Actually yes. My feet. I thought it was strange because I didn't remember putting a warning charm on them."
Madam Pomfrey nodded.
"Did you see what colour the man's spell was, Hermione?"
"No," she muttered, though she did try to remember. "The whole thing is hazy. I think my feet were numb even though they felt warm? I don't know that for sure but logically that's what I think happened. I'm sure I tried to stay where I was but I do remember seeing him before he saw me and when I stood, my feet felt like they weren't there so I fell forward. He looked as shocked as I felt."
"It's okay," Minerva whispered, tucking a piece of hair behind Hermione's ear and sliding their hands together again. "You're going to be fine, now."
"Wait," Hermione blinked, looking at Minerva's hands. "What's that?"
"What is what?"
"There, on your arm?"
Minerva blinked down at her arm and untangled their fingers. She inspected her arm and offered it to Hermione with a shrug. Hermione grabbed it and turned it over, staring at the little sigil on the inside of her wrist.
"Did you get a tattoo?" she frowned.
"What?"
"Hermione?" Dumbledore asked quietly, in that way he did that made everything stop. "What do you see?"
"It's a dragon, or a snake or something? It's white. Shimmers."
"Do I have one?" he asked, stepping forward and offering his arms for her inspection.
"Yes," she nodded, looking up at him. "But it's different. Yours is black and similar but not the same."
"Poppy?"
***TRIGGER BELOW***
"No," Hermione shook her head as Madam Pomfrey showed hers too.
Hermione grabbed the woman's wrist at the last moment and rubbed her thumb over the veins on her left arm. When she looked up at the medi-witch, Hermione noticed how pale she'd gone.
"Hermione?"
She jumped and let go quickly.
"What was that," Dumbledore asked. Hermione blinked as she looked down at her hands and then up at Madam Pomfrey. Somehow, she knew exactly why she had done that.
"Nothing," she said carefully, keeping Madam Pomfrey's eyes. "That was nothing."
Minerva huffed.
"That was not -"
"When I was fourteen I tried to hurt myself," Madam Pomfrey revealed clinically. "I did not do a very good job of it; something I have been thankful for every day since. The scars are not very visible unless you know what you're looking for, so I do not know how you might know that."
"Poppy -" Minerva breathed.
"It was before you and I became friends," she muttered. "After my grandmother died."
***TRIGGER OVER***
"How did you know," the headmaster asked quietly, drawing Hermione's attention back to him. "Hermione. How did you know?"
"I don't know. I just felt something and ran my thumb over it. It is none of my business," she said clearly. "I didn't mean to draw attention to it, Madam Pomfrey, I apologise."
"It's alright," the mediwitch muttered. "I suppose we are among friends."
Minerva reached over and held Madam Pomfrey's hand for a long while before she sighed and looked down at Hermione.
"There's nothing on my wrist," Minerva insisted, turning it over to show them. "There's nothing there. Point to it."
Hermione did, rubbing her thumb reverently over it. She didn't know what it was but she felt something towards it. Minerva shuddered again and pulled her hand away sharply as Dumbledore started speaking again.
"Poppy, do you have a piece of parchment handy?"
"In my office?"
"Could we have some, please and a quill?"
She left and he waited until she was out of earshot.
"Hermione, what do they feel like?"
"I don't know," she said tiredly. "And I didn't mean to point that out, with Madam Pomfrey. I don't know why -"
"It's alright," he nodded as he cut her off. "I understand, but concentrate on this." He offered his arm again and she took it, sighing as she ran her thumb over his mark. "Hermione, what does it feel like?"
"Home," she whispered. "Just -" She shrugged. "Home. Safe, somehow. But -"
He pulled his arm away and smiled as Madam Pomfrey came back with parchment and ink.
"Hermione, will you please draw them for us? Minerva's and mine. Do you -"
Hermione turned her own wrists over. She paused and flexed her fingers and tried to figure out why they felt stiff.
"You had frostbite when you came in," Madam Pomfrey explained. "We bandaged them, but when the, um, event," she winced. "Happened. You burnt off all the bandages. They may feel a little sore or uncomfortable."
"Just stiff," she muttered. "Like they haven't been used in a while. They feel a bit swollen too."
"Tabby," Dumbledore said quietly as Madam Pomfrey fussed over her hands. "Can I have a word?"
"Wait," Hermione said, her hand gripping Minerva's wrist without a thought.
"Hermione, I'm not taking her far," Albus said clearly. "Just outside. Would you do me a favour?"
Hermione stared at him for a long time before she nodded.
"Would you see your friends? They've been asking after you for days."
"Days?" Hermione breathed.
"Three," Minerva muttered.
Hermione nodded absently, trying to figure out what was going on but coming up short. The curtains rustled as Minerva left, and Hermione frowned at the gaping chasm in her stomach that seemed to open up as she disappeared from view. Madam Pomfery went to fetch her friends and she made use of the time by drawing first Minerva's sigil and then Dumbledore's. She looked at her own wrist and was gratified to see the same one that Minerva had. It made her smile and she ran her thumb over it before drawing it on the parchment, noticing subtle details that were different between hers and Minerva's and Dumbledore's, despite the design itself being quite similar.
"'Mione!" She smiled despite the problems as Harry raced in, followed by Ron and Ginny. "Are you alright? What happened? We tried to ask but he wouldn't say."
"I don't know," she muttered, pushing the parchment onto the side table. "They didn't tell me anything. I'm not sure they know either."
All three of them blinked at her new voice but she didn't bother with an explanation seeing as she didn't have one.
"Harry," she said after a minute. "Can I see your hand please?"
"Sorry?"
"Give me your hand; your right one."
He did and she grabbed it and turned it over. Right by the bone, on the outside, was a different sigil, different but similar.
"Gin?"
The same one was on her wrist and when Ron offered without asking she nodded when she saw it. Her brain felt so foggy and she was starving but she didn't feel bad. On the contrary, she felt better than she had, ever. She felt like she needed to get up but she was, once again, reminded she had somehow lost her clothes.
"Gin," she grumbled. "Can you bring me some clothes?"
"Um, yeah," Gin nodded. "I'll be right back, okay?" She glanced between them all and nodded to her brother. "Ron, help me."
Despite Ron not being the most emotionally capable person Hermione had ever met, he glanced between them and nodded. Harry waited until the curtains fell closed again.
"What's going on?"
"I don't have time to tell you everything, and there's a lot I don't know, but we all suddenly have these weird marks on our wrists. I have a new voice and despite me ending up here after some weird spell, I feel, actually, better than I've ever felt.
"Oh," Harry blinked. He pulled his wrist bare again, rubbing his thumb over it. "Here? I can't see anything but the day before yesterday it was itching like crazy."
"That was when all this happened," she rolled her eyes. "Dumbledore knows something but he's telling Min so I dunno if he'll tell me. How'd the Slughorn thing go?"
"It didn't," he grumbled. "I got kinda close, then he seemed to wake up and flatly refused to discuss anything else. He threw me out."
"Keep working on it, okay? I know it's hard, but you have to. If we can find out anything that we don't already know it's only helpful, ya know?"
"Draco is worrying me," Harry muttered. "I happened to have the map open yesterday, checking on you. McGonagall hasn't left your side, by the way," he whispered. "Not since you got back. She slept here, even." That pleased her and she smiled at him in thanks. "Anyway. Draco went into the Room of Requirement after dinner and was there for most of the night. He looked pretty rough the next day."
"That's weird," Hermione agreed. "Do we know what he's going in there for?"
"No clue," Harry sighed. "I'm really glad you're okay," he whispered.
"Me too," she smiled. "Told you I was coming back," she joked.
"Do they hurt?"
"What?"
Harry blinked and looked at her.
"Did they not tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
He looked around the cubicle and then poked his head out of the side of the curtain and found what he was looking for. He passed her a mirror and she blinked as she stared at her reflection.
"Oh my god."
"They didn't say anything?"
"No!"
Hermione craned her neck and kept her eye on the reflection. Her chest was covered in what could only be described as scar tissue. It looked as though someone had drawn flames on her and then set her alight. They stretched up her neck, in two perfect points on either side of her throat and then, in another two, out to her shoulders as well.
"Turn around," she muttered, glancing down at her chest.
"Oh," he blushed. "Yep."
She pushed down the covers and saw that it was actually like someone had drawn wings extending either side of her sternum. Those similar points wrapped around her ribs in two places before coming to a ragged dip above her belly button but it extended over her chest and onto her neck in reaching fingers of flame. If she looked critically enough, she actually quite liked it.
"Well that's weird," she muttered.
"How bad?" he asked, not turning around.
She pulled the covers back up and touched his hand to tell him it was fine to turn. He turned slowly, nevertheless.
"It looks like one of those drawings of a firework you did as a kid," she muttered. "It starts here," she pointed. "And," she swallowed. "It goes up like," she flattened her hand out and found it mostly matched where the scars were. "And then, I mean you can -" She tipped her head back. "Extends into these."
"Are they on your back?"
"Dunno?" She shrugged, leaning forward.
He looked and pulled away.
"Just where they curl around you." She nodded as he carried on. "That is weird. I -" he frowned. "I'm sorry."
"S'ok," she whispered. "Looks kinda cool, honestly, and it doesn't hurt, so that's something, right?"
"Now we both have weird scars," he joked, laughing as she blinked away a tear that she wasn't sure why she shed. "I'm sorry. I'm rubbish at this, you know that."
"Don't be," Hermione sniffed and held his hand. "I don't even know why I'm crying. Anyway, I don't know how long I'm going to be here. So let's go back to Slughorn and Draco. How good is Ron at being stealthy?"
"I'm crap, but Ginny always won at hide and seek," Ron said when they came back in. "Sorry, overhead that last bit."
"Gin, will you keep an eye on Draco? Might mean you are hanging out in corridors on your own now and then?"
"Yup."
"Ron, you're going to have to help Harry with all the stuff he needs to do. Can you do that?"
Despite the way they started, Ron had proved to be a loyal and trustworthy friend. He wasn't particularly adept at magic like they were but he knew strategy like nobody else she knew, save Minerva and Dumbledore and he could see things in a way that none of them could.
"You know it," he nodded.
"Good. I dunno what Min is going to say when she comes back in but just do as she says for now and we'll figure out the rest when I'm up and about."
"Got it," Harry smiled. "I'm really glad you're okay, 'Mione."
"Me too," she chuckled. As she was about to speak again, Minerva walked back in. She was pale and there was a desolation in her eyes that immediately made Hermione's breath catch. "Min?"
Everyone stopped at the tone and the two women stared at each other, oblivious to the others in the room. Hermione threw off the covers and went to stand.
"Wait," Ginny said, throwing the blanket back on her. "Wait. Boys, scram."
At any other moment, it would have been funny to watch them trip over themselves to get out but Hermione didn't care. Ginny handed her a shirt and a pair of jeans and Hermione brushed off Madam Pomfrey's protests to meet Minerva at the foot of the bed.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Minerva whispered.
"That is a lie," Hermione frowned.
"It is," Minerva said, her voice stronger as she stood to her full height. "But it is all I shall share for now."
"Minerva," she whispered.
A shiver went through the woman and her face turned so sad that Hermione made a noise and pulled her into her arms. She felt like she was wrapping them up so none of the world could see them and she revelled in it until Minerva's hands pushed on her to let go.
"I need to go." She pushed again. "Let go please." Hermione immediately stepped back with wide eyes. "I am glad you're alright, Hermione." Her voice caught as she spoke. "Miss Granger, as I said," she whispered, soul-crushing sadness pouring out of her words. "You are an asset to the Order."