GudaGuda Honnoji: I

Arkon sat at his desk, writing away on the papers he had in front of him when he heard a knock on his door.

"Enter." His voice echoed out through the room, the door opened up vertically with the form of Ash stepping into the room a moment later. Arkon was still staring down at his desk as the Servant walked towards him. Arkon had decided to convert his provided room into his office, since he had been promoted to leader of the Chaldean in-building security - name pending - he had decided it much simpler to convert his room into the headquarters to save time.

Hence his room now had large boards hanging from the walls detailing patrol routes, staff members names and faces, names and faces of the Servants as well as the Chaldean Health and safety pamphlet.

The latter of which he was working on updating now that they had added risks.

"Guardsman, Ash." Arkon greeted in a curt voice, finishing up his latest round of paperwork before his helmet looked upwards at the Saber "Your report, I assume?"

"Yes, Guard Captain Arkon." Ash nodded back with an equally curt tone of voice. The pair of them had taken to their roles rather well. "Patrol through the cafeteria and living spaces went without incident."

Arkon remained silent as Ash spoke, occasionally giving a hum of acknowledgement. When Ash finished speaking, the silver knight leaned back and cupped his helmet chin. Tapping it repeatedly for a few moments before he nodded his head once. "Good." he grunted, standing up from his desk and moving over to his drawers with the papers in his hand, sliding them open and depositing them before sliding the drawer closed.

"The reports from the other guardsman were delivered before you arrived." Arkon replied before he turned to Ash and inclined his head slightly "Is there a pressing reason as to why you do not deliver a written report?"

Ash remained silent, staring at Arkon through his helmet before he responded with "Personal preference."

The Servant stared at him for a few moments before he grunted in response "Very well." He dropped the matter swiftly, either uncaring or unwilling to give himself more paperwork to go through. "I have been working on proposals for upcoming security meetings with the Director." he revealed as he turned fully towards Ash "Namely with the repeated occurrences with Elizabeth Bathory."

Ash hummed in response behind his helmet. From Arkon's tone, it was clear the man harboured no love for the Lancers 'concerts', either because of her draconic nature or because they were genuinely painful to listen through. Ash personally didn't care about the specifics. Only that whatever the reason, he shared Arkon's dislike of them.

"Given that they are going to be a…repeated occurrence, no doubt." Arkon released an annoyed sigh and crossed his arms "I have decided to draw up safety procedures for when they occur."

An eyebrow was raised behind Ash's helmet "...Safety procedures?"

"Yes." Arkon nodded "Namely in relation to damage to hearing and other organs. Also that those who decide to form the audience - for whatever reason - should be seen by Doctor Romani to ensure that there is no sign of permanent damage." there was a pause "Also that Leonardo Da Vinci should be consulted in creating some manner of protection for Lord Ritsuka."

"Understandable." Ash nodded his head "Mozart has come to me and asked that we have the simulator cleared for a musical recital later this week."

"Did he give a time and date?"

"Friday afternoon at five-pm."

"Hm." Arkon paused for a moment, crossing his arms and nodding his head "Has he sought out Lord Ritsuka and Director Animusphere for approval first?"

"I believe so." Ash nodded his head "He merely asked if I was willing to attend and to pass the invitation along to you as well."

Arkon remained silent, crossing his arms across his chest "Amadeus Wolfgang Mozart…" the man uttered the name quietly "I recall him. Rude, brash and rather disrespectful. He plays music?"

"Apparently he is quite skilled in that regard." Ash admitted with a shrug of his shoulders "But I have not heard his music myself, therefore I cannot comment upon the topic."

"Undead had a fixation on music." Arkon revealed simply as if he had expected Ash to be taken with Mozart's invitation "Unsurprising, given that it was created by Lord Nito. The First of the Dead would surely understand the nature of the dead better than all others."

Ash blinked at him "He did-"

A klaxon alarm blared above them, Arkon and Ash's head snapped upwards at the blaring alarm before they looked down at each other.

Barely a second past before the pair of them were barrelling out of the room, swords drawn, and hurtling themselves down the corridors as fast as they physically could.

"Intruder alert! Intruder alert!" Romani's voice echoed through the hallways of Chaldea, a slightly frazzled tone to it was expected by everyone at this point. "Intruder on the second floor!"

Ash looked towards Arkon and nodded once at him, the faster of the two rushed on ahead to the elevator at the far end of the hall and slammed his fist into the appropriate button. Arkon flew into the lift before the doors had a chance to close, the pair remained silent as the lift started to ascend from the third floor to the second floor.

They both looked towards the intercom as light music started to play from it, earning a raised eyebrow from the pair of them behind their helmets. Not that Ash was going to complain about it though.

The music was fairly harmless and somewhat soothing to listen to.

The lift ground to a halt, the second floor flashed on the panel and both Servants readied their weapons. Preparing for whatever was facing them on the other side. Their eyes narrowed and their grips tightened.

Doors slowly slid open.

The pair stared at the empty and undamaged hallway.

"Nobbu!"

And at the strange dwarf creature with an overly large head staring back at them. It was dressed in a black uniform, shortened to match its stubby limbs, with a red cape tied around its neck and hanging on the floor. Resting atop its head was a black cap with a golden half star stamped on the front of it and finally there was the face.

The eyes had no pupils, instead looked like vacant orbs of white.

"Nobu! Nobuu!"

The creature kept making strange noises at the pair while waving its arms around in frantic motions, either due to an effort in nonverbally communicating or it was some manner of insane abomination.

Ash and Arkon exchanged a single glance with each other before they looked back down at the creature.

"...What is this?" Arkon eventually asked in a mystified tone as he sheathed his sword and stared at the creature, tilting his head to the side as he spoke and seemingly analysing it.

Ash shrugged his shoulders and took a single step towards the being, then reached down and grabbed it by the cape before picking it up. The creature continued to make strange 'Nobuu' noises as Ash held it, now waving its arms and legs around as he held it in front of him.

"What do…" Arkon sighed, shaking his head and moving towards the communicator he had been issued when in Chaldea "Command room, this is Guard Captain Arkon, respond."

"Arkon?" Romani's voice crackled through the communicator "Where are you?"

"The…second floor with the…intruder?" His voice shifted as he turned towards the creature in Ash's grip. The Saber leaning away from it slightly as if finding the notion of letting it touch him off putting. "I believe so…"

"Why are you phrasing it like a question?" Romani asked again before a sigh could be heard "N-never mind. Turn on the camera function so we can see what's going on. I've got Mash and Ritsuka here with me as well and the Director is probably-"

"What is going on? Give me a status report!" A voice snapped in the background.

"-already here." Romani finished with a sigh "It'll be the flashing green button on your communicator."

"There are three flashing green buttons." Arkon responded as he stared at the device in his hand "Which one is the correct one?"

"Three?" Romani parroted the number back in confusion "Why are there three? All others only had one."

"This one has three."

"Ah…right…erm…" Romani mumbled in response "Try the top right, that's where the others are."

Arkon was silent for a moment before he replied "The top right button is blue."

"What? That's not right."

"I am telling you what I see. The top right button is blue."

"...Try pressing the blue one."

Arkon did just that, pressing the button before he heard a click and the lights on the communicator turned off. The man remained silent for a moment before releasing an annoyed groan.

"I believe you turned it off." Ash dutifully provided from the side, Arkon glared at him over his shoulder as if to say 'no shit', unfortunately the helmet hid away the expression however judging by the fact the Saber slowly looked away, the silver knight was content with the knowledge the intent was passed along.

Clicking his tongue, he turned back around and pressed the power button on the communicator once again, the device flashing back on.

"...Okay so I'm guessing that wasn't the camera button." Romani's voice came through in a strained tone of voice "Unless you just wanted to hang up on me that is."

"No. I didn't." Arkon exhaled through his nose "Who made this?"

"Leo did…hang on, I'll just ask her." There were muffled voices in the background, Arkon continued to stare at the communicator before he looked over towards Ash.

The Saber was still holding the creature by the cape as it waved its arms around towards him, then reached towards its back and pulled out what looked like a stick with a rod of metal running through the middle of it. Ash raised an eyebrow as it started trying to wack his arm with the weapon and missing his wrist just barely.

Not that it stopped the effort.

"Okay, I'm back." Romani's voice returned "Leo said it's the glowing red button in the centre."

Arkon grunted, then clicked. Romani's face flashed up in front of him with a relieved expression "Ah! There we…" he trailed off as he looked past Arkon towards the creature in Ash's left hand "What the heck is that?"

"That is…our intruder." Arkon responded as he looked over his shoulder to see the being still dangling by the cape and now becoming more frantic in its attempts to escape. Successfully striking Ash in the wrist. The Saber shook the cape in response, swinging around the being and earning a panicked 'Nobuu' sound from it.

Arkon watched the display then turned back around, seeing the monitor crowded by the faces of Olga, Ritsuka, Mash, Romani and Da Vinci all with similar expressions of bafflement on them.

"...It's too early in the morning for this." Ritsuka groaned and leaned back, rubbing his temples and shaking his head. Mash pat him on the shoulder with an understanding expression before looking towards Romani.

"Doctor, what is it?"

"Huh?" Romani blinked and looked around "You're asking me? Why would I know?"

"Ah, good point. My mistake." Mash nodded her head then turned to the Caster in the room "Da Vinci, what is it?"

Da Vinci snorted before she shrugged "I have no idea. Never seen one before just now." she tilted her head "It looks like some sort of summon, maybe a familiar although quite why you would have one that barely comes up to your knee is rather odd."

"Maybe it's a confusion tactic?" Mash asked with a strained expression.

"Is it?" Ritsuka lowered his hand "It must be working because I'm feeling pretty confused right now."

Olga grunted in agreement as she squinted her eyes "Is it armed with a rifle?" that got Ritsuka to pause and lean forwards once again, following suit with the Director and looking through the camera.

"Huh…you know, I think it is." He mumbled in agreement before his lips drew themselves into thin lines "We should probably tell Ash to avoid it, considering it's a projectile weapon." he cleared his throat "Hey! Ash-"

The being pointed the rifle at Ash's face and fired it. The bullet smacked against the front of his helmet and snapped his head back, earning a cry of surprise from the Saber as he staggered away and dropped the being.

"Nobu!" The creature gave a victorious cheer before it whirled around and aimed the rifle at Arkon, firing once and dinging a round off the side of his head.

"Tch!" Arkon clicked his tongue as he stumbled, more out of surprise that the strange - and rather comical - creature was able to hit him with that much power.

"Nobbbbuuuuu!" The being released a cry, raising its rifle above its head with both hands and giving a victory chant.

"This is as far as you go!" A voice echoed through the corridor, the chanting being paused and then made a single, somewhat pathetic, whimper before a flash of light rushed through and stuck it in the back. The sound of steel being drawn was accompanied by the being being split in half.

There wasn't a drop of blood to be seen as the two halves flew down the corridor and vanished into motes of light. The owner of the voice stood back up, twirling their sword and then sheathing it.

The girl had short pale blonde hair with silver coloured eyes, a black bow was tied up at the back of her head. Her outfit was closer to being a hakama, the upper colouration being a light pink with the lower half being magenta.

The woman stood between the two Sabers with her hand resting on the grip of her own sword - a Katana - but with the weapon itself sheathed at her side.

Arkon turned to her immediately, moving his hand to his sword "Identify yourself and your affiliation." he spoke in a commanding tone as Ash similarly readied himself once again.

The woman straightened at the commanding tone of voice "Greetings. I am from the…" she trailed off, thinning her lips before she shook her head "My name is unimportant at this moment, and my affiliation is not the pressing issue. If you would call me something, call me Sakura Saber." she finished with a faint smile aimed at the knight.

Arkon stared at her, there was a click as his sword was slightly pulled from its scabbard "I did not request the information as a courtesy. There are reports of infiltration in Chaldea and I find myself confronted with an unknown Servant and beings of…bizarre origin." he decided upon "I ask again, your name and affiliation." he nodded to the direction she had come from "It is only your assistance in dealing with the creature that prevents me from being uncordial."

"I was summoned in this world in pursuit of that creature." Sakura Saber replied with a blank expression on her face "It came here, therefore I followed it. I am in unfamiliar territory as well and am not so readily willing to unveil my identity to unknown Servants."

The running sound of footsteps attracted the attention of the others, Ash turned around and found himself face to hat with another Servant. He looked down and saw crimson eyes staring up at him in surprise before they quickly assumed a confident tone of voice.

Ash - however - recognised the outfit almost immediately as being a scaled up version worn by the creature that had shot him in the face.

"Their leader!" Ash accused, the red eyes widened in panic before ducking down and barely avoiding losing her head to a slash from the Saber.

"Wait, wait, wait!" The Servant called out in alarm as they scrambled backwards "I'm not their leader! I came to kill it too! It's making me look like an idiot!"

Ash paused, staring down at her "...Really?"

"Yes, really!" The young woman snapped at him as she got back to her feet, grumbling to herself "My older self would have handled this no problem…" she looked past Ash and glared at Sakura Saber "I see you're fully willing to assist me, Man-slayer." she accused with narrowed eyes.

Sakura Saber regarded her with a raised eyebrow and what could almost be construed as a teasing smile "You appeared to have the situation completely under control, so there was no cause for me to intervene." she paused for a moment "But if you feel the need to call out help…"

"Ha!" The girl slammed a fist into her chest "The Demon King of the Sixth Heaven would never do something so cowardly as to beg for help!" she paused. "I would demand help first."

Arkon was now glaring at her "Demon?" he hissed out in a low and dangerous tone "You call yourself a Demon King?"

Ash made a point of sizing the girl up and down. Although given the height difference, it was more a case of sizing her down. Once he had finished examining her he then turned his head to Arkon "She doesn't look it."

"What?" The - self named - Demon King let out a squawk of indignation "I'll have you know that I am a Demon King! The Demon King of the Sixth Heaven! You know…from Buddhism?"

"...Mash, do you have any headache tablets on you?" Ritsuka's voice cut through the hallway "Because I feel as though I'm going to need them…"

"Ignore him." Olga's tired voice echoed through the communicator as well, although she seemed similarly exasperated by the situation despite it only being a recent occurrence. "Just…get them to the conference room and see if we can get some answers from whatever is going on…Romani, what does that flashing notification say?"

There was a pause.

"It says that Chaldea is currently colliding with another phased space." He paused, "Which might be what let the weird thing in."

There was a long sigh.

"Kyrielight…bring me those headache tablets."

Romani disapproving voice soon followed. "These things aren't sweeties and this isn't Halloween night."

"Don't talk to me about Halloween night." Ash called out from across the room, Arkon nodding his head in response. Despite fleeing the location, they had still been around long enough to hear Elizabeth's shrill voice cry out through the halls of Chaldea.

The pair were fairly certain the lift had been filled to capacity with the entire floor vacating until the concert was over.

"So…these weird creatures are coming from somewhere in a different place and time." Olga surmised with a blank expression as she leaned back in her chair and stared at the ceiling "And in order to avoid being overrun by them, we have to go to the source and destroy whatever is spawning them."

She remained silent for a moment before she lowered her head and stared at the new Servants sitting at the opposite end of the table "And you two were chasing them for whatever reason but refuse to give your true names."

Sakura Saber and the self-appointed 'Demon King' nodded their heads in unison.

Olga leaned forwards, resting her arms on the table then allowing her head to fall into her hands. "Well…Better get to it then." She raised her head and looked around the table to Romani and Da Vinci "Have either of you two…" she trailed off, then squinted at Romani "I don't even know why I'm asking you." she realised, then looked to Da Vinci with an expectant expression.

Da Vinci rolled her eyes "Romani's lack of usefulness aside." she spoke with clear amusement, the man in question didn't so much as make an effort to correct her "I have been able to track down the coordinates that the intruder originated from. We can Rayshift down there at any time and deal with the incursion."

Olga gave a satisfied nod of the head "Excellent." she rubbed the bridge of her nose, then frowned "Is there a possibility for further intruders?"

Da Vinci thinned her lips "I would say so, yes. However, that is a given whether we go or stay. The only change is that a direct counter attack would give us the chance to be rid of them forever."

"Yes!" Demon King slammed her hand on the desk and jolted the entire table, pointing at Da Vinci with a wide smile "What she said!"

Arkon - sitting directly to her right with his head resting on his fist and his elbow on the table - inclined his helmet towards the table and stared at the fist shaped dent in the metal before he raised his head and stared at the 'Demon King'.

The woman sensed his stare, then looked to him out of the corner of her eye and then towards the table. Promptly grimacing slightly before she threw her head back and released a high pitched laugh "Wahaha! It can't be helped."

"It could have been helped." Arkon bluntly rebuked her "You could have not punched the table."

She gave no indication she heard him as she sat down. Sakura Saber was cringing openly at the actions of the Demon King before she turned towards the others at the table, giving a confident expression "Allow us to accompany you on this mission, we were pursuing these creatures at any rate."

Ritsuka was staring at the cup of water in front of him before he hummed "Yes." he nodded, popping a headache into the water and watching it start to fizz away. He looked up and stared at Sakura Saber, giving her a tired smile "You seem to know more about these things than us, so I'd be happy to have the help."

Sakura Saber beamed at him while the Demon King had a look that said she had expected the answer from the very beginning.

Arkon and Ash just stared at him.

"...You're both coming as well."

They seemed to relax slightly.

"So, when do we leave?" Ritsuka asked as he downed the medicine, cringing at the taste and making faces at it.

Romani watched him with a raised eyebrow before he jolted himself back into a state of alertness "You can leave whenever you're ready, but I'd recommend-"

"You're leaving now." Olga ordered with a blank look on her face.

"...I'd recommend leaving now." Romani finished lamely, his shoulders slumping as he failed to finish his sentence, not that he was in any particular rush to correct the Director on that account. In truth he was a little tired and would very much like to take a nap at this point.

Olga then turned to Sakura Saber and Demon King "It goes without saying that you two shall be kept under close surveillance for the duration of this venture to ensure your loyalty."

Sakura Saber nodded her head.

"Wahahahaha! Demon Archer is nothing if not dependable!"

Ash and Arkon stared at him.

"I thought you said your name was Demon King?" Ash asked, tilting his head to the side. Demon Archer waved her hand dismissively at him.

"It's fine." She responded uncaringly "I can change it whenever I want."

"...I still don't understand why anyone would call themselves a Demon." Arkon grumbled next to Ash, crossing his arms and scowling at Demon Archer. "Almost as bad as calling oneself a Dragon."

"You know, calling yourself a dragon is actually seen as a boast around here." Romani supplied with a wry smile before he paused and realised something "...Actually, no one around here would call themselves Fafnir, right?"

People stared at him.

"...What?"

Ritsuka exhaled and stood up "Let's just go." he grumbled as he rubbed his brows, Mash gave him a worried look.

"Are you alright, Senpai?" She asked as she followed him across the room.

"It's two in the morning, I was asleep in bed." Ritsuka whined "I needed that sleep Mash…"

"We all need sleep." Olga called out with her own exhausted voice "Someone find Siegward and tell him to bring coffee to the control room." she ordered as she pushed herself up, her eyes unfocused her expression slack "...Now."

Ash meanwhile blinked at him "It's that early?"

"Not everyone can get away with just staring unblinkingly at a wall." Olga snapped at him with a hiss before she growled and marched out of the room. Ash watched her depart before he turned to Da Vinci, the woman giving him a sympathetic expression.

"She's just a little tired is all. People get cranky when they can't get their beauty sleep." She smirked and flicked her hair to the side "Not that I need beauty sleep."

Her boast earned her half-lidded looks from those still in the room before they all filed out one after another.

Ritsuka staggered on the spot as the group flashed into existence in the middle of a grassy field, the entire area looking fairly nondescript by Ritsuka's own standards. It was a large field filled with grass.

"Rayshift complete, Senpai." Mash dutifully informed Ritsuka with a stern nod of the head before she paused and looked around "...Where are we?"

"It would appear the Imperial Holy Grail War has lost control." Demon Archer stated, crossing her arms imperiously and looking down her nose at the surroundings "The end result appears to have been creating a separate dimension within this phase space."

Ritsuka stared at her out of the corner of his eye with a blank expression before he spoke in a blank tone of voice "Yeah." he sniffed once "I hate it when that happens."

"Imperial…Holy Grail War?" Mash parroted the words spoken by Demon Archer with furrowed brows, the confused girl looked at the Archer in question and tilted her head "What do you mean by that?"

Demon Archer blinked once "It's self-explanatory, isn't it?" the girl responded in her own voice of confusion "It's a Holy Grail War that is imperial."

Sakura Saber flashed the Demon Archer a bland look before she sighed and turned towards Mash "It was a Holy Grail War that took place in Imperial Japan." she gestured to herself and Demon Archer "The Holy Grail War that we originated from. However, the Grail was tampered with-"

"Of course it was." Ritsuka grumbled quietly, pinching the bridge of his nose. Every time he heard of a Holy Grail it was always being tampered with, or it was broken, or it was a fragment or something. He was beginning to wonder if there was a Grail War that hadn't gone horribly wrong somewhere along the way.

Sakura Saber blinked at him once, then shook her head and continued on "As I was saying, it was altered by strange technology and the end result was the Grail going out of control."

Demon Archer nodded her head with her own troubled frown "At this point, I became involved and the entire situation spiralled further out of control. My subconscious materialised. It's already starting to corrupt reality." she raised her hands and stared down at them with a grimace "Worst of all, it took away most of my power…"

Ritsuka looked towards her and raised an eyebrow "It did?"

Demon Archer gave a sad nod of the head, sniffing once "I used to be OP last boss material, the kind with like three different stages and keep getting a refreshed health bar at each one."

Ash's helmet hid his grimace of remembrance.

"But now I'm like…a Zero-point-five star Servant." Demon Archer groaned, her hands falling back to her side "...I'm a level one noob."

Ritsuka regarded her with an utterly blank expression before he looked away from her and sighed.

Rather loudly.

"Alright everyone…" He coughed into his hand, turning back around "We need to think of a…" Ritsuka trailed off as he looked around the field they were in once again, his lips drawing themselves into thin lines and his hands falling back to his side "I got nothing."

Arkon nodded his head slowly "Do not be too concerned with it, my lord." he gestured towards Demon Archer "I have made an effort to discredit everything she has said thus far in my mind."

Demon Archer regarded him with a scandalised look which quickly fell into an annoyed scowl "Hey! If I were stronger, I'd be kicking your ass right now!"

If the 'hmph' of incredulity from Arkon was any indication, he didn't believe her in the least.

"Demon Archer, no fighting." Sakura Saber chided the girl, causing the dark haired woman to gape at her companion.

"What!?" She exclaimed in indignation "But he started it!"

"Yes, but I can't command him like I can command you."

"You can't command me to begin with!"

Ash raised his hand.

Ritsuka stared at him "...Yes, Ash?"

"What is phase space?"

Ritsuka stared back, then gave a strained smile "It's space…that is phased."

Demon Archer gave a victorious whoop in the background at seeing her method of explanation catch on.

Mash leaned towards Ritsuka and whispered to him "Senpai, should we get back to the original topic?" she nodded towards Demon Archer "Demon Archer said her subconscious was materialised and she is weaker than she was before."

"Yeah, I get what you mean." Ritsuka nodded back to her with a serious tone of voice, then turned towards the two recent additions "So…Demon King-"

"Demon Archer." The Archer corrected with a perfectly straight expression. Ritsuka stared back at her for half a second before he continued on as if nothing had happened.

"Demon Archer, those weird little dwarf things are originally from you?" He clarified, judging by the pained grimace on Demon Archer, he was correct in that assessment. "So…destroying them makes you stronger?"

Demon Archer blinked at him once "...I don't know." she turned to Sakura Saber "Does it make me stronger?"

The Saber squinted at her in response "Why would I know? It's your own power."

"Ah, good point."

Ritsuka looked over his shoulder towards the Sabers he had brought with him, then promptly winced in response.

Arkon had his hands on his hips, staring idly into the sky as if begging for a storm to form overhead and strike him down on the spot with a bolt of lightning. Ash, meanwhile, had his sword out and was carving small lines into the dirt with the weapon, like a child would do so in the sand with a stick.

Ritsuka slowly turned back to Mash, who looked nearly as lost as he felt "...I'm sure we'll be fine." he placed his hands on his hips "...Lets' just walk around for a bit and see if we run into anything."

"So our plan is to just walk around and see if we run into anything?" Demon Archer asked with a raised eyebrow, then squinted at Ritsuka in suspicion when he was tellingly silent "What sort of fool plan is that?"

Ash tilted his head "That's what I always do."

Demon Archer turned to him and widened his eyes "That works?"

"...I never went wrong."

"Ah, nevermind then!" Demon Archer cheered, pulling out a sword and pointing it to the sky "Let us begin our conquest of the land!"

She got flat looks from all those around her.

"Bah! You just don't understand what to do anymore!"

Ash had fought many different opponents, all of which had been of varying skills and strengths.

He couldn't recall ever fighting anything like this before in his life.

"NOOOBBBBUuuuuuuuuu-!" He thought as much when he kicked one of the strange creatures in the face so hard that it went airborne and disappeared off into the distance, if Ash was paying attention he would have seen a bright flash of light where the 'Nobu' being had vanished blink into existence and disappear just as quickly.

Demon Archer stared at Ash with a blank look as she similarly finished off the last of the creatures "...Why did you have to kick it like you hated it?" she asked with a frown "Are you transferring or something?"

Ash frowned, "I don't think I am transferring anything."

"Except kinetic energy." Ritsuka quipped from behind them, earning a brief giggle from Mash with a pleased expression coming onto his face "And I think she meant, projecting."

Ash's silent stare indicated that he didn't know what that was either. Ritsuka sighed before he gestured to the helmet still on Ash's head "We're not in Chaldea right now, you can take that off if you want."

"Alright." Ash nodded once, clasping the helmet and removing it from his head to once more expose his face to the outside word. Swiftly depositing it into the bottomless Box.

Demon Archer stared at the box with poorly concealed interest, made worse when she leaned down and then looked underneath it before waving her hand through the air beneath the box then drawing it back. "Huh. Neat."

"I found something!" Mash called out, raising the object for all to see "It's a…" she trailed off as she lowered it slowly and squinted at it "...It's a Teapot?"

Both Ash and Demon Archer quickly made their way over to the growing crowd around the teapot, the black iron cast implement in Mash's hands was - for lack of a better word - garishly ugly.

"Hmmm." Demon Archer hummed to herself as she cupped her chin and gave a sage nod "It appears the magical energy from the Holy Grail is also giving form to what I consider to be 'valuable' in my own mind."

Arkon reached out and took the black iron teapot from Mash's hands and into his own as he examined it, then looked down at Demon Archer, then back at the teapot, then back at the Archer. The movement repeated for a few more times before he handed it back to Mash "That is unsurprising."

Demon Archer squinted at him "What is that supposed to be?"

"Only that one who named themselves a Demon would obviously have a poor understanding of what constitutes value." Arkon bluntly replied as he crossed his arms "Your subconscious spawns freaks, your idea of value consists of a lump of black metal and you are somewhat useless in a fight."

"Arkon." Ritsuka sighed at him, shaking his head "There's no need to be rude." he gestured at the teapot "Just because it looks hideous-"

"Hey!" Demon Archer squawked indignantly in the background.

"-doesn't mean it's not valuable." Ritsuka carried on as if he hadn't heard her protests "There's sentimental value to consider as well. You know…one man's trash is another man's treasure sort of situation."

Turning to Ash, Ritsuka gave him a half smile "In fact, I'm sure you could probably find a use for it, right?"

Ash remained silent, taking the pot in his hands and staring at it. Balancing the bottom with his right hand, he placed his left on the handle at the top and lifted it up to peer inside. He hummed for a moment, then nodded his head and lowered it back down "I could make a bomb out of this."

Ritsuka blinked owlishly at him "...Not what I was expecting."

"Really?" Demon Archer - however - suddenly looked very interested as she stared at it "What about fuses and stuff? Blasting powder?"

"I have the necessary equipment in my bottomless box already." Ash informed her as Mash slowly removed the pot from his hands and backed away from him with a concerned expression "It would simply be a matter of emptying out the existing bombs and using their fuses." he paused for a moment "But then how would it be thrown?" he mumbled to himself.

A smile slowly stretched across Demon Archer's face as she reached out and placed an arm around the shoulder of the taller Servant, inclining him down so they could be at eye level "Dear, dear Saber…" her smile was predatory "Let me tell you about landmines-"

"Sorry to interrupt this induction of guerrilla warfare." Da Vinci's face popped up on Ritsuka's communicator, the woman had her arms crossed and an expression of thinly veiled amusement on her face as she turned to Ritsuka "But I'd like to have a look at that pot, if you don't mind."

Mash held it up for her to see.

"Hmmm…Hmmmmmm." She thinned her lips "Are such dusty looking vessels really that popular in the far east?"

"Bah!" Demon Archer scoffed at them "Rude westerners! Rikyu will punch you for not understanding the value of simple and subdued!"

Da Vinci ignored her annoyed shout before she inclined her head "On second thought, I'll take them."

Mash raised a surprised eyebrow "You will?"

"Sure." Da Vinci shrugged and leaned back into her chair, smirking through the camera "Just looking at this black and unsightly teapot is astonishing to me, it's got absolutely no flair to it whatsoever and despite that it has a strange sort of endearing charm to it."

"...So we can't turn it into a bomb?" Demon Archer asked in a quiet - almost childlike - tone of voice as she looked between the group.

"No." Sakura Saber shot her down with a frown on her face "You can't."

Demon Archer pouted, letting go of Ash and crossing her arms in a huff before she looked away.

Ritsuka snorted quietly to himself as he shook his head before turning towards Da Vinci "At any rate, I don't suppose you could point us in the direction we are supposed to be going?" he asked with a tilt of the head "Because…well…we don't exactly have a map."

Da Vinci opened her mouth to respond before she blinked and then frowned. "Huh, you're right." she muttered, reaching up and scratching her chin "Maybe we should make something that can send our readings to you as well so you aren't overly reliant on us."

"You can do that?"

"Who knows, probably." Da Vinci replied with a cheeky smile, then turned off to the side "Well, Romani? Where are they supposed to go."

"North." Romani's voice echoed out from the side, the unseen man working away on the monitors "That's where the highest concentration of magical energy is located and is consistent with Holy Grails we have otherwise encountered thus far." There was a brief pause. "There are some strange fluctuations in the readings but that's consistent with Sakura Saber and Demon Archer's story that the Grail was tampered with."

Romani then sighed to himself "Why are people always messing with Holy Grails? An omnipotent wish granter seems like one of the last things you'd want to purposely mess around with."

"Yes!" Ritsuka gestured to the screen with a relieved expression, happy that someone shared his opinion "Thank you!" he turned to the others "Anyway, we're going North then." he clapped his hands once and then pointed forwards "Lets go then!"

He started to march forwards, making it a few dozen metres before Mash called out after him.

"That's South, Senpai!"

Ritsuka stopped walking, then turned around and swiftly started marching in the opposite direction that he had previously been going. He raised his hands to cover his face, hiding away his own flushed features of embarrassment.

Arkon was still staring at the sky, wondering what was taking the lightning storm so long to appear and kill him.

Sakura Saber appeared at his side with a concerned frown "Are you well?"

Arkon remained silent for a moment before he spoke "I was guard captain to Anor Londo. I ran the city watch for the capital of the Gods themselves…" he looked down towards Sakura Saber "...Now I hunt down strange abominations that make high pitched wailing noises."

Sakura Saber gave him an understanding nod "...Same." she sighed, shaking her head "I was part of the Shin-" she cut herself off, jaw snapping shut and eyes wide "A-anyway…" she coughed into her hand to clear her throat.

Then coughed again.

And again.

Arkon looked down, watching as she continued to hack and sputter before she eventually wound up spitting out a mouthful of blood onto his boots. Arkon closed his eyes behind his helmet, giving a long and slow sigh of annoyance. He reached up with his right hand and pinched the ridge of his helmet, shaking his head in exasperation.

Sakura Saber looked up and gave him a weak smile, offset by her pale features and slight trace of blood dribbling down her chin.

"...It's not contagious, is it?" Arkon found himself asking after waiting a few moments to collect his thoughts.

Sakura Saber shook her head "No, I've always been like that."

"...Outstanding." Arkon grumbled as he walked past him, giving his boot a good shake to remove some of the larger blobs of blood on his foot before he continued onwards in an effort to catch up to the moving group. Sakura Saber followed behind him, wiping her chin and doing her best to smile.

The large gathering halted in the open, their leader strode forwards before nodding to herself. "This is an excellent spot to make camp." they announced with a perfectly straight face, the woman turned around to her only other ally "Ben- I mean, Sessai. Prepare a feast." she paused, "Prepare it in two seconds."

The larger man wearing the outfit of a warrior monk blinked once at her "Two seconds?"

The shorter woman's eyes flashed and her lips sharpened. "That isn't a problem, is it?" she asked in a tone that promised pain, especially as her hand fell to her sword on her hip.

"No, no." The larger man shook his head, giving her an amused smile as if her threat of bodily harm didn't even register in his head "That shall be plenty of time." he boasted, thumping a hand on his chest and laughing boisterously, as he walked forwards he paused and turned back to her with a serious expression "That said, my lord. Camping in a place like this might be dangerous, I'd advise you to keep up your guard."

The woman scoffed, giving a confident grin "I am aware of that, however the fear of danger has no hold over me." with a wave of her hand, the short Servant turned away from the taller man "Besides, what manner of enemy would approach an army this large?" she boasted, spreading her arm wide and gesturing to the assembled group.

"Nobu! Nobuu!" The legion of strange creatures called out in unison, hundreds of them swarmed around the area like ants over a picnic. The taller man merely furrowed his brows, staring at the creatures and then raising an eyebrow at the shorter woman, who was clad in scarcely covering samurai armour with a predominately white colouration to it and a sword scabbard like a foxes.

"See?" She gestured to the strange creatures "They agree with me, you worry far too much Ben- Sessai."

"Hmmm." Sessai hummed in response, "Very well, Lord Yoshitsune." he sighed and stared off across the horizon "I just hope nothing bad happens." he paused before a relaxed expression came upon his face "Well, I'm sure that Matsudaira will inform us if he encounters anything in his patrol."

"I've encountered you!" The familiar man shouted out as he drew his bow back and loosened another arrow towards them. Arkon raised his shield to block the attack, the arrow struck him and caused the man to shunt to the side, the projectile slid off his shield and flew past him before striking a tree and punching a hole clean through it.

Ash ducked down as another arrow flew over his head, soon accompanied by a shattering of wood "Is that not Arash?" the Saber called out in surprise "What is he doing?"

"The Holy Grail is summoning Servants and brainwashing them!" Demon Archer explained as she jumped out from behind a tree with a rifle in hand, opening fire on Arash - or Matsudaira as he introduced himself as - and forcing the man to relocate, all the while he was flickering the string on his bow and continuously firing arrows at the group.

"This is stupid!" Demon Archer exclaimed in indignation as she ducked behind a tree moments before an arrow struck it and carved a hole through it "How does a bowman have a better rate of fire than someone with a rifle!" she shouted out "Wasn't the whole point of switching to these things supposed to be a better rate of fire!?"

"Where on earth did you hear that?" Ritsuka shouted out above the chaos "Modern guns, sure, but not those things! The idea was it was easier to train riflemen than bowmen!"

"History lesson later!" Arkon shouted out as he drew his arm back and hurled a bolt of lightning through the trees. The golden lightning struck the air directly in front of the attacking Archer and seemingly rolled off him without doing so much as shifting his focus in the least "Magic Resistance!"

"It is at Rank C!" Matsudaira called out through the tree's, drawing his bow back and returning fire upon the group once again "It means your spells have no effect on-" the tree next to him exploded in a flash of orange flames. Ash snapped his fingers again, flames converged around Arash and exploded again, forcing the man to retreat further back in order to evade them.

"You can make the air blow up?" Demon Archer exclaimed with a giddy expression before she widened her eyes and fixed Ash with a grin "I figured out how to detonate the tea-bomb!"

""We're not making the tea pots into bombs!"" Several voices exclaimed all at once, prompting Demon Archer to whine.

"Why not?" She cried out.

Ash frowned as he watched Matsudaira move from point to point through the tree's, never remaining in the same spot twice. "We must remove the trees." he announced before he stepped into the open and held his sword out in front of him. He rested his hand on the flat of the blade and flicked it across, igniting the sword in Chaos flames before drawing it back under his left arm.

Ritsuka barely caught word of what Ash said before his eyes widened in alarm "Wait, don't-!"

"Galvatyne!" Ash cried out, a partial invocation of the sword's true name was followed by the Saber making a wide sweeping motion with the blade. Flames leapt from the sword in an arc of fire, washing across the ground, the trees and anything else that was in the way. Soon igniting the forest in front of them.

Ritsuka threw his hands up and pointed accusingly at Ash "You are a pyromaniac! Aren't you!?"

"Yes, I am a Pyromancer!" Ash called back over the sounds of the rising inferno, completely misunderstanding what the Master was trying to say.

A figure jumped through the flames with barely a single mark on him, instead he had a determined look on his face as he hit the ground and performed a roll. He moved back into an upright position and drew his bow back, pointed directly at the group.

"Ha! I can see you aren't run of the mill attackers either!" Matsudaira praised with a smile before his expression turned steely. "However, that just means that I have to treat you with the respect you deserve! I shall put my all into this next - and final - attack against you!"

The arrow at the end of Arash's bow started to glow menacingly, magical energy converging on the man at an impressive rate. The move could only herald one thing, the use of a Noble Phantasm.

"I've got a bad feeling about this…" Demon Archer nervously stated as she took several steps back and nervously glanced towards the area out of the forest "That's a lot of power going into that bow!"

Mash rapidly nodded her head as she similarly backed away from the man "I-I agree!" she turned to Ritsuka "Let's run, Senpai!"

"Yeah…I'd listen to Mash, Fujimaru-kun." Romani's voice echoed through the communicator with a great deal of panic "Arash's Noble Phantasm is listed as a B rank Anti-Army grade one!"

"Tactical retreat!" Ritsuka cried out and shot to his feet before he turned on his heel and sprinted towards the edge of the forest as fast as he could. Barely making it five feet before Mash slung him over her shoulder and broke out into a panicked run.

The other Servants quickly followed after him.

"Hurry!" Ritsuka called out "We have to get out of his range!"

"You cannot escape my bow!" Matsudaira boasted - although it lacked any real arrogance - as he watched them flee "It has a range of two-thousand-five-hundred kilometres!"

Demon Archer sputtered on the spot, shooting a panicked glance over her shoulder and pointing at the man "That's not a bow anymore! That's a cannon!"

"The weather is nice today, isn't it Benkei?" Yoshitsune idly commented as she stared up at the sky, tilting her head slightly and rocking back and forth on her heels. She then realised her mistake and clicked her tongue "I mean, Sessai."

Sessai sighed aloud "You ended up saying my actual name this time-" Yoshitsune glared at him "-but you are correct, my lord." he grinned "It is indeed a lovely day today." he gestured up at the sky "This sort of weather can only promise good fortune!"

Yoshitune made to reply before she paused, her head twitched before she turned around and squinted her eyes. Watching as half a dozen people stumbled out of the forest to the south of them and frantically sprinted towards them while shooting panicked glances over their shoulders.

"We appear to have people approaching us." She stated, resting her hand on her sword as they ran at them "Rather swiftly, it seems."

"Hmmm." Sessai crossed his arms "I wonder if they are the scouts that were sent by Matsudaira?"

The front individual - a man with dark leather armour, a blue cape and with blonde hair - charged into the thick of the army like a battering ram, barely even paying attention to them as he ran them over. He was swiftly followed by the others who made efforts to shout out warnings but otherwise mowed down those in front of them without care in the world.

"Out of the way!" The short girl in a similar outfit to the strange creatures shouted out in a panicked voice, running forwards and jumping through the air, landing on the blonde man's back and clinging to him like a barnacle "Hurry, noble steed!"

"What in the flames are you doing!?" The blonde man called on in shock.

"You're faster than me! Run!"

"Hurry up, Mash!" Yoshitsune and Sessai then watched as the others came after them, a girl wearing a mainly pink outfit with short blonde hair, a man with a horned helmet clad in dark steel armour and finally a lilac haired girl wearing light armour with a young man slung over her shoulder.

The duo watched as the group barreled through the army and then rushed off further into the distance without even stopping.

Sessai eventually spoke up "I do not believe those were scouts sent by Matsudaira."

Yoshitune was about to call him out for his grasp of the obvious before she turned her head back towards the forest as a single voice echoed out across the field.

"Stella!"

The cry was accompanied by a burning white light shooting out and into the sky at a steep angle, the woman watched as it flew through the air like a shooting star, then started to change its angle and fall towards them rapidly.

"Sessai?"

"Yes, Lord Yoshitsune?"

"Did we have fireworks planned?"

Sessai looked up at what the woman was staring at, then thinned his lips in grim resignation "We did not."

"Ah, I see." Yoshitsune nodded her head "...This is unfortunate."

"...Quite so."

The shooting star struck the centre of the army, then there was a bright flash.

The shockwave from the explosion behind them blasted the group off their feet, sent ragdolling through the air before they crashed into the ground and rolled for a few metres. Mash wrapped herself around Ritsuka and acted as a shield, bearing the brunt of the roll and then unhanding him when they stopped to check him over.

Ash had done the same with Demon Archer, however his was less consensual.

"...Why?" Ash asked as he pushed himself to his feet, Demon Archer jumping from his body and patting him on the shoulder before throwing her head back and laughing.

"Because!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Oh, did you need more?" She blinked at him "You're faster than me, stronger than me, and more durable than me." she explained fairly easily "I'm terribly weak right now so I really do need some sort of meat shield."

Ash sighed, his shoulders slumping "...Hmmm."

Arkon pushed himself back to his feet, wiping the dirt from his armour and looking over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow "...It would seem that calling it an 'Anti-Army' attack was no exaggeration. The legion of creatures along with their Servant generals have been completely wiped out."

Sakura Saber coughed heavily as she hunched over, resting her hands on her knees and spitting blood into the dirt "...Hurray…" she cheered weakly.

Ritsuka coughed loudly, getting up off the floor and patting himself down "Dammit!" he called out in irritation "Always something." he looked up, allowing a troubled frown to stretch over his face "...You said brainwashed Servants, right? So then…Arash was…"

"His container would have been affected by the Holy Grail." Demon Archer informed him "Altered the moment he was summoned, so there is very little to be done about that apart from killing him. Even when you retrieve the Holy Grail, he'd still have dematerialised."

Ritsuka frowned before he offered a single nod in response, he might not have liked that - mainly because he knew Arash - but if there was nothing to be done, then it couldn't be helped.

"You said further north, yeah?" Ritsuka turned to the screen with Da Vinci's face on it, only to blink when he saw Olga there instead of the Caster "Director-?"

The woman raised her hand, then brought a mug to her lips and took a long slurp from it before lowering it again "...Carry on." she said through the screen "Go north and watch out for any more Servants, we have no idea what to expect."

Arkon grumbled in the corner as he crossed his arms "I have a fair few ideas."

So did Ritsuka.

Personally, he disliked all of them.