It's been a couple of days since those men jumped me… since that one man saved me. Laying in my bed staring up at my ceiling, I couldn't get his face out of my mind. Something about the way he looked at me that one moment… How relieved and overjoyed his expression- nay, his whole-body language- appeared to be. He seemed so happy to see me, like he'd been waiting for me his whole life… I know this all sounds so narcissistic, but it's true! It was like I was the first woman he'd ever seen… Like he thought I was as perfect, as flawless as he looked to me.
I didn't know men could look at women like that.
My heart raced just thinking about it. My hand raised up to rest over top of my chest through the cover as my lips parted a sliver. Yesterday was horrible….. but also, just how lucky am I? I doubt many girls have a guy look at them the way he did….. I sincerely doubt I'll ever seen that kind, adoring, absolute absorbing expression anywhere ever again. I'll miss it, if I'm being honest, and I'll always be on the lookout for it somewhere deep in the back of my mind. Any man who even so much as gazes my way in the future will be unconsciously compared to him….. And I have this sinking feeling that they'll always fall short.
This wonderful, enchanted smile blossomed across my lips as I tenderly shut my eyes, inhaling slowly. But I am lucky… I'm so profoundly lucky, and thankful. I got to experience once- just once. I'll have to settle for that; once will have to be enough for me. Whoever that weird, beautiful man was, I hope he's safe and happy somewhere- and not breaking anymore arms. He looked to be about nineteen, maybe a year or two younger or older. He had this air of worldly experience about him, and obviously knew how to handle himself in a fight. I hope he's doing alright….. wherever he is. He probably won't remember me, but I'll never forget him.
For as long as I live, I'll never forget the look he gave me.
The second after I had this personal revelation, I sat up in my bed on reflex. The window slid open from the outside, though there was no one there- that I could see anyway. Nothing happened for a brief moment, then pink flower petals started floating in with the breeze. The scattered on my floor, flying all the way over to my bedsheets. Watching them, I calmly grinned to myself again, not feeling the least bit afraid.
That's another thing I've noticed over the past couple of days. It feels like there's somebody always watching me, watching over me. I've sensed it ever since I ran into him back on the street. I doubt that he's actually stalking me, but there was definitely someone or something there. I could feel this presence close to me, keeping an eye on things. It didn't feel threatening at all- the exact opposite, in fact. Whoever it was didn't seem predatory or harbouring ill-intent to me. It's almost impossible to explain….. It was like whoever it was just couldn't leave me alone, or refused to. Course this could all be in my head, and probably is, but since that…. Ever since he looked at me that way….. I've felt ways I never had before. All good ways.
Proof that it wasn't all in my head began showing up a little after that morning. Over the next few days, I felt somebody watching me whenever I left the apartment, on my way to school. My window was always open, regardless if I closed it earlier. And the most telling sign of all, every day when I returned home, there was always a large bouquet of red and white roses waiting for me on my doorstep outside; a card was never left with them. Red and white roses, huh? It wouldn't be so unusual if they only left one colour or the other, but red and white was my favourite combination. I'd never told anyone that besides Dad, and he'd been home in over a week. Someone else had been leaving the roses….. Someone who knew that little personal detail about me.
Obviously I never told anyone about this "stalker"; they'd think I was crazy to not call the police. Perhaps I was. I know how dangerous unwanted attention can be from individuals who disregard a woman's personal privacy. Actually the only reason I didn't call the cops or tell my dad is because I didn't feel the least bit in danger; whoever was following me wasn't threatening at all. Don't ask me how I know that; I just do… somehow.
I couldn't confirm it was the same stranger as before; I only had a sneaking suspicion. But in all reality, why on earth would he take an interest in me? He's so gorgeous, he could have any girl he wants. So why choose someone he doesn't even know? And let's say for argument's sake that he did want to ask me out. Why didn't he just come out and introduce himself to me? Why go through all the effort hiding away from me?
He did look really hurt and confused when I hit his fingers away and screamed in his face. Maybe he thinks I'm afraid of him? Well, I was back then, but I feel calmer now. If only he knew that…. Again, if it was him leaving the roses; it might not be him for all I know. But I couldn't shake this trembling inside my chest. If it is him, I don't want him to stay away from me. I want….. I want to see him again. There are so many questions racing around inside my mind. How did he know my name? Why did he just show up randomly like that the other day? Where did he come from and why was he dressed like a prohibition mobster? What's with the changing tattoo on his wrist? How does he know what flowers I like? Just so, so many questions…
Getting ready for bed, I tried thinking of a way I could lure out whoever was following me. I had made up my mind; I had to meet them. Call it youthful ignorance, but I was determined. He'd left me three bouquets, one for every day since that faithful afternoon. The least I could do was say thank you…. before then diving into my endless list of questions. A million different plans circulated in my head; none of them any good. I'd have to be sneaky, catch him off-guard somehow. But that in itself was going to be hard…
I got changed in the bathroom and came back into my room to pull back the covers on my bed. That's when something caught my eye by the- once again- open window. Curious, I walked over to it, only to find a red and white rose tied together by a piece of ribbon. The ribbon was on their stems and in a nice, neat bow. He's trying to tell me something….. Picking up the bound roses, I sniffed one and smiled. My eyes shut for a moment as I savoured its sweet perfume. He's indeed trying to communicate something to me, which I don't understand. He seems to have some regard for me….. But that doesn't make any sense; we only learned of each other's existence yesterday. He never knew about me before then, did he? Did he…? Giving the other rose a smell now, I had finally settled on a plan of action.
Only one way to find out.