GudaGuda Honnoji: II

"The Chaldeans continued their ill-fated voyage through what could only be described as an asylum run by the patients.

It was an utter catastrophe, madness assailed them at every opportunity in the form of the strange creatures that made disturbing noises whenever they opened their mouths or made attacks on them. As it stood, it was doubtful they would ever reach the end of the journey.

Fortunately for them, they had the aid of the greatest Servant available.

Even in their weakened state, the military prowess of the Demon Archer of the Sixth Heaven could not be-"

"If you don't shut up, I'm going back there and cutting off your head." Arkon growled from ahead of them.

Demon Archer's face grew into a pout as she crossed her arms "What's wrong now?" she called out in annoyance "I am narrating our campaign! All good generals need some form of storytelling so their conquests can be looked back on and stories told of them."

"What?" Ritsuka made an incredulous noise somewhere between a scoff and a laugh "What sort of story are we supposed to tell here?" he coughed and deepened his voice "Chaldean log, date five-ten-twenty-sixteen. Chaldea has been assaulted by what appears to be a child's drawing come to life. When they die they make shrill screams and drop metal pots on the ground. We're currently fighting through Servants who are working under different names and may or may not be mad-"

"Alright." Demon Archer huffed in defeat and waved her arms "It's less impressive when you say it like that but that's where the art of storytelling comes into place!" she exclaimed, sporting a cheerful smile "You have to make your achievements seem much more impressive than they actually are!"

"I'm morbidly curious as to how you might make this more impressive." Arkon commented with a hint of incredulity "Considering that my Lord's analysis was correct. Even when he omitted the simple fact that these freaks of the world originated from your own mind. Having met you in person, it makes a great deal of sense."

Demon Archer made a face at him before she stepped back and hooked an arm around Ash's "You're just jealous that you can't make bombs like me and my newest retainer!"

"I-what?!" Arkon sputtered and turned to face her "I am far from being jealous of the likes of you."

"That's exactly what a jealous person would say! I bet you're green with envy whenever you see me with a rifle!"

Arkon growled "Your trinket? It is without grace and unbearably loud! A perfect tool for a fool such as yourself."

"Jealous!"

"I have the power of the Gods within me!" Arkon boasted "I can call down the lightning of the Great Lord Gwyn and use it to aid me in battle. I have no need for petty toys."

"My gun isn't blocked by magic resistance, taser hands." Demon Archer sneered back with a prideful smirk. Arkon made a strangled noise from behind his helmet as he glared at the short woman, stepping forwards and reaching towards his sword before he stopped himself and clenched his hand into a fist.

Giving one final huff, he turned around. Flicking his red cape as he did so "...You are not worth the effort."

"See!" Demon Archer grinned as she pointed at his back "He even copied my cape!"

"You petty little-!"

"Should we do something, Senpai?" Mash whispered to Ritsuka with a worried expression as she, Sakura Saber and the Master watched the argument increase in volume behind them.

Ritsuka looked over his shoulder towards Arkon as he ranted and raved, all the while Demon Archer made faces at him and a series of childish accusations. Ash just looked puzzled.

Ritsuka did a double take "Ash?"

"Hm?" The Saber turned his head towards him "Yes?"

"What are you wearing?" He gestured to the Saber's new apparel "And is that a bow on your back?"

"It is." Ash nodded his head. His head was once again hidden, although this time by an entirely new helmet, different to the ordinary knight's helmet from before. This one had a sleeker build to it with a faceplate akin to a horizontal bar grate, the metal itself was also of a paler colouration almost like dust with a spiked point at the top of the helmet. The armour as well was also less bulky than before, the chest piece was a thin red fabric draped over his body with a bandoleer across his chest.

Most of the actual shape came from the shoulder pads, the left one appeared to have the face of a lion carved into it while the right simply curved around his upper arm. The trousers were somewhat baggy and the Saber was now wearing dark leather boots instead of steel ones.

"...Why?"

"Demon Archer suggested I blend in." Ash replied, nodding to the young girl standing in front of him as she and Arkon continued to trade insults, uncaring as to their display "And that if I was to serve as a retainer, I would need appropriate apparel. She decided on this set, which I am told came from the far eastern lands."

"Yeah, I can tell." Ritsuka nodded his head, then looked over the Sabers shoulder "And the bow?"

"...I decided that I needed practice in ranged combat." Ash replied simply, then gestured to the two swords on his waist. Both were katanas, although one was noticeably shorter than the other "I do have an alternative, should the distance be closed."

Ritsuka blinked before he asked what he believed was a pertinent question "Do you know how to use those?"

Ash stared at him silently "...Do I know how to use…a sword?"

"...I mean a Katana." Ritsuka clarified "Most of the weapons I see you using are a little more…" he pursed his lips as he searched for the right word "...Bulky."

"...I know how to use a katana." Ash replied simply, crossing his arms over his chest and sounding somewhat offended by the accusation "While I am certainly not as skilled with them as greatswords, the memories of the previous wielders shall aid me. He was a member of the Black Hand, therefore I am certain that shall suffice." he paused for a moment "However, it shall only be when targets are close enough."

"So now you're a Saber who uses a bow?" Ritsuka bluntly asked with an expression that said he already knew what the answer was going to be.

"Yes." Ash's confirmation had him give a single sigh in response before he paused.

"You know what? That's actually not a bad idea." Ritsuka admitted, cupping his chin and humming to himself "We've got a lot of close range fighters but our long range support is limited to Demon Archer and they admit to be weak right now so it's actually a good thing you've swapped to a bow."

"Ah, I see." Ash nodded his head once "...I am glad that my choice was correct."

"...Also you can wear that armour for the rest of our time here." Ritsuka added on with a half smile "It looks pretty cool, right?" He turned to Mash and Sakura Saber for support. The former gave a nod of the head while the latter gave a blank stare before she tilted her head slightly to the left and made a show of examining him up and down.

"...I suppose it looks useful." She muttered, crossing her arms and cupping her chin. "It's curved in place and the shoulders look designed to block strikes from thin swords such as mine." she gestured to her own sword at her waist "So I suppose it makes sense, however it does appear to be…rather ornamental."

"Half of what Ash has pulled out looks ornamental." Ritsuka effortlessly explained "He's just like that at times. By the way, Ash?"

The Saber tilted his head slightly.

"For the duration of our time here, I am designating you an Archer."

Ash nodded his head once "It would make sense for my class title to reflect my choice of weapon. I approve of the change."

Mash stared at him with a baffled expression before she rounded on Ritsuka "S-Senpai, that isn't how Servant classes work!"

Ritsuka blinked at her, then pointed at Ash "He's using a bow. That looks pretty Archer like to me."

"But Archer-san in Chaldea uses swords." The girl reminded him with a furrowed brow, Ritsuka paused and then cupped his chin.

"Yeah, you're right." He sniffed once, then smiled "Guess he is now being referred to as Saber!"

Mash made a noise at him while he chuckled at her reaction, the Shielder quickly paused and narrowed her eyes slightly at him as she realised something. "You're teasing me, aren't you Senpai?"

Ritsuka slowly nodded his head, struggling not to laugh out loud. The young girl slumped her shoulders at him but did sport a faint smile of her own. As he turned back around, the noise of Demon Archer and Arkon started to fade into the background as they continued to press on.

"Senpai, one more thing." Mash asked as she jogged up alongside him and leaned forwards "Demon Archer introduced themselves as the Demon King of the Sixth Heaven and their method of combat-"

"Oda Nobunaga, yes. I know." Ritsuka nodded his head, then looked over his shoulder "I'd say I'm surprised but they definitely act like a fool so the nickname of 'fool of owari' makes perfect sense." he turned back around "I'm just coming to terms with the idea that one of the most famous individuals in Japanese history is a little girl who wants to make a bomb out of a teapot."

Mash frowned "But if we know their true name-"

"Mash." Ritsuka leaned towards her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, the girl jolted at the sudden contact but didn't make an effort to pull away "There's a thing called presentation. Nobunaga has already shown that she is very much one for drama. She also tried to conceal her true name, which means she will probably try to make a big show of revealing herself." Mash nodded along with the explanation "And when that happens…I'm going to immediately steal her thunder and out her before she gets the chance to."

Mash squinted at him "Eh? But…why?"

"Because." Ritsuka snorted "Imagine the look on their face when that happens, how many other people can say they've pulled one over on the Demon King of the Sixth Heaven?"

Mash thought for a moment "All those who betrayed him and those that killed him…her."

Ritsuka pulled away from her and regarded the Shielder with a blank expression for a moment. "...Alright." he said after a second of silence "Apart from all those people."

"It's just all about pressure plates." Demon Archer explained to the newly dubbed Ash Archer as the pair walked side by side "Although I wouldn't know any of this if it wasn't for the Throne." she pouted, walking forwards and kicking away a stray stone that was in her path "Why didn't they invent this sort of thing when I was alive? It would have made unifying people much easier."

Ash furrowed his brows slightly "High powered explosives?"

"Yeah." Demon Archer nodded her head "What brings people together more than explosives?"

"Wouldn't the blast separate them?" Ash paused for a moment "Into smaller pieces on occasion?"

Demon Archer blinked "Yeah, but if you plant the landmines around everyone in a big circle then they are forced closer together." she linked her arms to punctuate the sentence and gave a wide smile "Nothing unites people more than the fear of dying in a giant fiery explosion!"

Ash regarded her with a blank expression behind his helmet before he shifted his attention away from her and towards the others in front of him, he blinked repeatedly before he gave a long and thoughtful hum. "In my experience…it is often a case of both," he replied slowly.

The dark haired girl blinked once "...That just sounds weird." she replied with a shrug of the shoulders "Oh well." she dismissed it easily enough before humming to herself, then looked towards Ash, then further up "...Can I ride on your shoulders?"

The Saber Archer remained silent for a few moments before he turned his head to stare down at the young girl "...Why?"

Demon Archer regarded him with a raised eyebrow "So that I can see further, also there aren't any mounts around him." she paused "Also since I have dubbed you my retainer - again, congratulations for that - you should do what I say." she pointed to the ground "So crouch down and let me get on your shoulders."

The Sarcher gave her another blink behind his helmet before he worked through the issue in his mind. He was going to be fighting at a distance regardless and he doubted the girl would cause too much issue on him. Beyond that, there was also the case of her getting higher elevation providing a moderately better view of the battlefield.

There were little cons to the request that he could think of, except one thing.

"Before that." Ash stated as he reached for his bottomless box and then flipped the lid open. Demon Archer watched with a curious eye which then widened as a grin came to her face as the Sarcher pulled out a pair of binoculars "You will need these to improve your sight."

Demon Archer grabbed the binoculars from the Servant and then placed both her hands on her hips expectantly and watched as the Sarcher started to crouch down.

What Ash hadn't factored into his - admittedly logical - tactical assessment of why Demon Archer wanted to get onto his shoulders was the simple fact that she just wanted to look down on Sakura Saber.

Ritsuka was staring at the ground, his arms were crossed and his expression was tense "It just doesn't look right to me." he spoke again, waving his hand to the area around his feet "Just not right."

Olga's face was on the holographic screen floating next to Ritsuka sporting a similarly mystified expression.

In fact, the entire group of them - minus Ash and Demon Archer, who hadn't caught up yet - were staring down at the ground. Their heads occasionally moved from the left to the right as they scanned the ground at the base of their feet.

"I am…not entirely certain as to what this is." Olga stated slowly as she creased her brows, then brought the mug of coffee up to her lips and took a long slurp of it before putting it down. "Rapid environment changes are not uncommon but this looks more as though someone has cleanly spliced two different lands together."

Ritsuka was inclined to agree as he started at the grassy plains to his left, then to the arid desert to his right. The ground was loose pale coloured gravel with the occasional boulder to upset the monotony of it. If the location was feeling really adventurous, then it would present them with the distant shape of a dead tree.

"Maybe this is the work of the Grail?" Mash supplied with a look aimed towards Sakura Saber, the woman stared at the ground with an equally dumbfounded expression before she noticed the stares being aimed in her direction "Um…I don't know anything about this."

"...Worth a shot." Ritsuka sighed, uncrossing his arms and placing his hands on his lips before he turned to Arkon "What about you?"

Arkon was silent for a moment before he leaned down and scooped up a handful of gravel before he brought it up and spread his fingers slightly, watching as the debris floated from his fingers and was spread by the breeze. "...Well, it is no illusion."

Ritsuka grunted in response, then crouched down at the point where the two sections seemed to link up, then looked across the boundary in either direction. The join seemed to go in a straight line along either side of their location and for as far as they could see. Tilting his head slightly, Ritsuka speared his hand into the intersection point and then pulled aside a handful of gravel and sand as he started to dig down.

After a few more seconds, he stopped and wiped his hand on his trouser leg.

The others peered over his shoulder at the hole he had made, seeing the dirt on the greenery side seemingly went further down with a perfectly flat face as if cut cleanly with a knife.

"...That ain't right." Ritsuka commented with absolute surety.

Olga regarded him with a dull expression before she shook her head "It does not change much but if this can occur once then you can expect it to occur again. How are you feeling?"

"A little tired." Ritsuka replied "Slightly confused."

"I mean physically you dolt!" Olga snapped at him, waving an arm in his direction "What's the temperature like? Is it boiling hot? Is it cold?"

Ritsuka made an 'O' shape with his mouth before he looked up, raising his hand over his eyebrows and blocking out the light of the sun. "Feels a little warm but no different than when I was walking through the field." the Master replied as he lowered his head to stare at the hologram "I assume that's good?"

"Yes." Olga nodded "It means that these environmental shifts aren't affecting the climate around them, else you would have required additional assistance to traverse this desert for however far it stretches. Now, what you need to do…is…" Ritsuka raised an eyebrow as Olga trailed off, the woman stared just behind him and over his shoulder with what could only be described as a look of exasperated resignation.

Following her gaze, Ritsuka turned his head and looked over his shoulder before his expression dropped into a dead pan, slowly raising himself back to his feet.

The other Servants followed suit, then stared at the sight that had attracted their attention.

Ash regarded them silently, Demon Archer perched on his shoulders - with the Sarcher holding onto her legs - with binoculars in her hands and held to her face, her lips drawn into a thin line as she scanned the location.

Ritsuka heard a dull sound of metal striking metal, turning his gaze just slightly to see Arkon with his head lowered and in his hands, to his right he could see Sakura Saber pinching the bridge of her nose but otherwise unsurprised. Then he turned to Mash, who was just staring at the odd duo with a slightly puzzled expression but otherwise unreacting to the display.

Demon Archer's head swivelled down towards them, staring at their enlarged faces through the lenses of her binoculars before she frowned and lowered them. Her red eyes glanced at each of the individuals curiously as she tilted her head slightly "What?"

Ritsuka stared at her blankly for a few seconds before his expression turned blank and he looked away from her "Nothing. See anything good up here?"

The girl leaned forwards, then winced as she accidentally touched the spike on top of Ash's helmet. She frowned and then grabbed either side of it and removed it. Ash's face was blank as the woman dropped the helm into the Servant's hands. Once that was completed, she leaned forwards and rested her arms atop Ash's head as if he was nothing more than a desk, the Sarcher looked unconcerned with the move and simply held his helmet without making a comment.

"I have seen…a desert." Demon Archer responded in a serious tone of voice "A really big desert." she gestured with a hand across the expanse "It goes on for quite a ways too."

Ritsuka slowly nodded his head as she spoke, then exchanged a glance with Mash before turning back to Demon Archer "...Anything else? Say…I don't know…" he shrugged "In the desert?" he asked with a meaningful tone.

"Oh. I saw an elephant." She replied with a wave of the hand "It must have been big because it looked really far away too."

"An elephant." Sakura Saber replied back with a dubious tone of voice "You saw an elephant…in a desert."

"Yes." Demon Archer nodded before she paused "And isn't this more of a savanna?" she pointed out "Because it doesn't look all that…you know…sandy." she pointed further along "We've got some dead plant life as well. That's not very deserty."

"Ah yes." Ritsuka nodded his head "The dead plants are the important factor here. Forgive me for being tedious, but what were you saying about an elephant?"

"Ah, right." Demon Archer nodded her head, leaning back and staring down at the group imperiously "I spotted a big elephant."

"...Anything else?"

"...No."

"..."

"..."

"Terrific." Ritsuka nodded with a slightly strained smile before he turned to the Director "What do you think? Maybe a mount for a Servant or some sort of magical beast?"

The woman hummed in response, rubbing her chin in thought "Both are reasonable guesses but without getting closer we wouldn't be able to get accurate readings." she paused for a moment, then looked around "Unless…" she muttered before raising her voice "Operator Kerry, have you detected any signs of Servants?"

"...Yeah." A groggy voice called back, the normally lively woman sounded as though she was moments away from falling asleep "Yeah it's…um…got a couple Servant readings ahead of you. Looks like a Berserker and a Rider along with…some of those…weird…fucking things."

"We need a designated name for those things." Olga muttered to herself, then slid back and frowned when Fou jumped up on the monitor and had his face fill the screen "What the-get off there!"

Ignoring the Director fighting with Chaldea's resident mascot, Mash decided to speak up "What about 'Nobu's'?" she suggested, earning a squawk from the Archer still sitting atop of Ash "It falls in line with the noises they make."

"No!" Demon Archer all but screamed out "Anything but that! Call them what they are! Vermin!"

"That seems a little rude." Ritsuka grunted, although he wasn't looking at anyone as he made the comment. Instead watching as Fou hissed at the Director as she tried to move him away from the screen, the woman made a whimpering noise and slid back for some odd reason "We could call them Noblits."

Arkon slowly turned his head towards Ritsuka "...Noblits."

"Or Noblite." Ritsuka added on with a shrug of his shoulders, tilting his head and furrowing his brows as the Director gave up and merely scooted Fou to the side so that he could still see the screen "Whichever sounds better."

"Noblite sounds appropriate." Sakura Saber offered with a trace of a smile "They are smaller versions of a full grown Nobu-"

"Go cough up your lungs somewhere!" Demon Archer growled from atop Sarcher's shoulders, crossing her arms and looking away with a pout "You're just mad that I have to look down the end of my nose at you."

Sakura Saber sighed in response while shaking her head, indicating that she didn't believe the accusation as one that she could dignify with a response. Then slowly craned her head towards Arkon, raising a curious eyebrow before pursing her lips and dismissing whatever thought she had in her head.

"Alright." Ritsuka raised his hands while he stepped in front of Demon Archer, giving her a placating expression "We can discuss who has the high ground later, for now I'm going to say we have a look at the giant elephant in the distance." he turned and looked at the others "That's a decent enough idea, right?"

"I do not believe we have very many options." Arkon bluntly stated as he crossed his arms, turning his head in the direction that Demon Archer had pointed out and leaning forwards as if to try and get a better look at the distant shape before he grunted and reached down, resting his hand on his sword just in case he needed to draw it. "I would err on the side of caution however, given our previous interaction with Servants we have no way of knowing whether this new group will be hostile or benign."

"Kerry-san said they were being accompanied by the Noblites." Mash commented with a serious expression, seemingly uncaring as to the ridiculous name. "So they might prove hostile."

Demon Archer merely groaned from Ash's shoulders "Are we really calling them that?"

"Set in stone now." Ritsuka chuckled in response.

"Point out this stone to me!" The girl exclaimed out in indignation "I'll blow it up!"

"It's imaginary." Ritsuka snickered, enjoying the way in which the Archer's face went through several emotions ranging from shock, anger and then annoyed resignation. "Come on, with any luck this next Servant might be reasonable."

The Chaldean group stared up at the rather large elephant, made somewhat worse by the rather large man sitting atop the elephant. His skin was tanned and heavily muscled, wearing a simple golden metallic skirt with black fabric hanging down to his ankles and similarly coloured sandals.

Parts of his skin had white decorations on it, Ritsuka presumed it was war paint with the man's face being warped into a permanent scowl and showcasing more golden teeth. Or they were yellow and the Servant was seriously lacking in dental hygiene.

Height wise, it was difficult to get an accurate reading on him when he was so high up to begin with. The elephant he rode upon was easily around eight metres tall with oily black skin. A rather intimidating sight as it stared down at the group with pure white eyes and a rumbling noise from its throat.

From the looks of things, the man himself was no shorty either, probably standing a little under half the height of the elephant if he wasn't sitting down on an ornamental golden throne on the animals neck.

"R-right." Ritsuka coughed into his hands as he looked left and right, the Servants around him were all also staring upwards with no small degree of apprehension.

Except Ash and Arkon, who both had their arms crossed and seemed to exude an aura of complete apathy to the otherwise intimidating sight. A part of Ritsuka was a little jealous they could do that, a bigger part of him realised that the only reason they had that sort of reaction was because they had seen things much more terrifying and he was in no real rush to try and experience similar ordeals to them.

"Hello!" Ritsuka called out, adopting the Siegward school of diplomacy.

Walking up to someone and shouting out a greeting at the top of your lungs.

"I am Ritsuka of Chaldea!" He carried on, then gestured to Shielder next to him "Mash of Chaldea." then further down the line "Ash of Lothric, Arkon of Lordran, Saber of Sakura and Archer of Demons!"

"Very impressive greeting, Senpai." Mash cheered from his side with a confident nod of the head.

"Thanks, been watching Siegward for tips." He whispered back to her before turning towards the large man once again and sporting a wide smile "We come to greet you in the name of peace!" he called back up "Do you know where we are?"

The Servant stared down at them, his arms crossed in front of his wide chest and a scowl fixed upon his face. After what felt like ages he eventually opened his mouth.

"▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅—!"

Ritsuka stared back at the noise which echoed out from the Servants mouth.

"...Bear with us one second." Ritsuka raised his finger, then waved his Servants closer to him, forming a small huddle "Okay so my steam train is a little rusty, did anyone catch what he said?"

"That was a language?" Demon Archer couldn't help but blurt out in surprise as she sent a baffled look towards the Servant atop the elephant and then back to the group "I thought he sneezed."

"Must be one Hell of a cold then." Ritsuka muttered to himself before shaking his head "No, I think this is a language. Lancelot does this sometimes as well. Just stares at you and makes these weird noises so…" he turned back around "Excuse me good sir! Might I ask, are you a Berserker by chance?"

The Servant nodded his head once, then opened his mouth and bellowed forth another sentence that sounded like a hand grenade going off. Ritsuka maintained a polite smile and responded with a nod of the head before swinging his attention back to the huddle "Alright so that answers that question. It's madness enhancement." he tapped the side of his head "Must be messing with his ability to speak."

"Damn, that sucks." Demon Archer grunted, reaching up and cupping her chin in thought "Wait so…how do we ask him for directions? Does anyone know sign language?"

She got shakes of the head in response.

"Tch, well that's put a crinkle in an otherwise perfect strategy of mine." She grumbled in response.

"Perfect strategies aside, perhaps I can be of assistance." A bored voice echoed out from the direction of the Berserker, the group turned to see the familiar long haired form of Medusa standing next to the man.

Rituska blinked once at her "Medusa?"

"Yes, it is I…" The woman sighed, closing her eyes and looking skywards "Sanada Medusa."

"Oh wow." Ritsuka whispered in a strained tone of voice at the lack of effort put into the name.

"This is my boss…" She continued on, either not hearing Ritsuka's comment or simply not caring about it. "Takeda Darius."

"...Darius." Ritsuka commented again, then looked at Mash with a tilt of the head.

"Possibly Darius the third." Mash explained quietly "Famous rival to Alexander the Great."

"Alright." He turned back to Medusa "So…Sanada. What were you saying a moment ago?"

"I can translate what my boss is saying." She replied casually, looking up once again towards the Berserker as he stared at the group before he made a series of deep metallic grunts which sounded like someone taking a sledgehammer to a car. "...You have trespassed on my land, so says my boss. Explain yourselves at once, so says my boss."

Ritsuka blinked once, then placed his hands on his hips and bowed his head slightly "You have my most heartfelt apologies, Takeda Darius. We did not know this was your hand, if we had we would have moved to venture around it. However, our time is short and we hope to be granted passage through these…" the boy sent a mild glance across the wasteland "...great lands."

"You don't need to force yourself." Sanada mumbled to him with a sympathetic expression before she looked up towards Takeda Darius, the man made a rumbling noise with his throat that sounded like a car trying - and failing - to ignite. The man then pointed at Demon Archer and made an even louder growling noise that would have had a lion turn tail and run.

"That doesn't sound good." Ritsuka mumbled to Mash under his breath with a slightly nervous voice "I even tried to lay it on thick with the whole diplomatic approach."

"It sounded very professional, Senapi." Mash praised him with an earnest smile.

"Perhaps he recognised your sarcasm when you made a comment about this arid wasteland." Arkon muttered from behind him.

Takeda Darius paused, then pointed at Arkon with an even fiercer scowl on his face and almost ranting at this point.

Sakura Saber released a sigh, then turned to Arkon "Did you have to say that out loud?"

Arkon didn't respond for a moment, dropping his hand towards his sword and then humming once "No…but I am feeling my patience wane as of late and thus withholding my opinion from humans is growing increasingly difficult."

Sanada Medusa continued to stare up at Takeda Darius before she nodded her head and turned back to the group "Your words are pretty but they do not match your actions, if you truly intended to cause me no harm you would not have brought my greatest rival, the Fool of Owari and you would have kept your retainer from insulting my lands, so says my boss."

Demon Archer made a face "Greatest rival?" she squinted at him "I don't even know who you are."

That seemed to throw Takeda Darius for a loop for a moment, his scowl vanishing and being replaced by an expression of naked surprise before he made a series of growls.

"How can you not recognise me? You destroyed my calvary with your riflemen! So says my boss." Sanada translated before she turned around and looked over her shoulder "But this time I have…" Sanada looked hesitant to speak before she sighed dramatically and turned back around "But this time, I have the advantage. So says my boss."

The group - as one - all leaned their bodies to the side in order to get a decent look at the large number of Noblites that were crowded around the space behind Takeda Darius, the group leaned back and then stared up at the giant man who was grinning down at them victoriously.

"I'm telling you, it doesn't ring a bell." Demon Archer replied with a shrug of the shoulders, then looked down at Ash "What about you? Do you know this guy?"

"You are the one he claims to have history with." Ash responded honestly as he stared at the giant man head on without flinching or looking away "Until this encounter, I have never seen him before."

"If neither of us can remember meeting him, then we can't have met him." Demon Archer decided as she looked back up at the Berserker "Sorry to say, I think I'd remember fighting a cavalry unit full of elephants though." she paused and frowned "I mean…it doesn't sound like the sort of thing anyone would forget anytime soon, right?"

Takeda Darius made another furious roar in response.

"How dare you forget me, you imbecile! So says my boss." Sanada rattled off without any emotion in her voice "I could not bear the shame of my defeat at your hands and chose death over dishonour!"

Demon Archer made a face at him "...Wait…Takeda…Takeda…" she hummed, scratching her chin and looking upwards for a moment before she snapped her fingers and pointed towards him "Katsuyori, right?" when the giant gave a pleased smirk, Demon Archer grimaced slightly and pointedly looked him up and down "What the heck happened? You've gained like…five-hundred pounds!"

Takeda Darius sputtered in response and waved an arm in the air while grunting.

"Don't change the subject, so says my boss." Sanada helpfully translated "This is about me finally taking my vengeance against you for all that you have done to wrong me, so says me boss."

"What!?" Demon Archer exclaimed in shock, then pointed at him "You killed yourself! How is that my fault?"

Takeda Darius released a long and bellowing roar in response.

"...Your defeat of my army destroyed my dreams and aspirations, I might have ended my existence but you brought about the ruin of my life. So says my…" Sanada Medusa trailed off with a sigh, waving a hand at Takeda "You get the general idea by this point, don't you?" she directed the question towards Ritsuka and the others, all of whom nodded in response.

"This sounds like a personal vendetta." Arkon whispered from beside Ritsuka "I am of the opinion we let them fight amongst themselves and carry on."

Mash frowned slightly "But Demon Archer is weak right now, what if she dies?"

Arkon pointedly remained silent before he tilted his head "I thought that was implied when I said to leave them alone?"

Ritsuka sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose "We're not leaving her alone to fight…Darius or whatever he's calling himself." he stated in response before he dropped his hand back to his side "We don't even need to fight, we can just walk right on past them if we act in a reasonable manner."

"This man does not strike me as reasonable." Sakura Saber informed him "Takeda Darius appears to have a rather substantial grudge against Demon Archer, I fear this might come to blows and that will likely end up involving all of us."

"Probably not her." Arkon grunted at his nodding in the direction of Sanada Medusa "She looks as though she would prefer to be anywhere but here."

Indeed, her face dropped so low that Ritsuka was sure that it was close to sliding off her head entirely.

"Probably." Ritsuka mumbled back, then nodded past Darius to the small legion of Noblites "What about those guys? Think they will sit it out?"

Arkon's silence was telling, the way he had been tense the entire time that they had been speaking was already evidence enough that he didn't believe a lack of conflict was possible. "Unlikely." he admitted quietly "However their prowess in battle is…limited."

Ritsuka gave him a dubious look "Didn't one of them shoot Ash in the face and then catch you by surprise?"

Arkon's hand clenched into a fist "That was unexpected! You do not expect a rat to pull forth a crossbow and loosen a bolt at you, why would I account for some failed chaos demon to pull forth a ranged weapon and discharge it?" he argued back hotly, in truth he was a little embarrassed he had failed to account for the possibility their intruder would prove a credible threat.

The Master raised his hands in a sign of surrender "I'm just saying, they might look like freaky little gremlin things but they might still be a bit dangerous." he shrugged his shoulders "How many do you think there are?"

"Two hundred and five." Ash commented from their left, "I have spent the last few minutes counting them."

"Huh…well…there we are then." Ritsuka muttered in response, placing his hands on his hips and turning to face the Sarcher fully "How is it going? We sort of started doing our own thing over here?"

Ash awkwardly turned his head, prompting Demon Archer to make a surprised gasp and then slap the top of his head "Don't move around so much down there!" she ordered "I'm trying to explain to this idiot that it's not my fault he couldn't defeat my rifle formations!" not waiting for a response, she rounded on Takeda Darius once again with a fresh wave of insults and excuses.

The Sarcher remained blank faced for a moment before he replied "I believe it is going poorly."

"Surprise of the century." Ritsuka chuffed, shaking his head and looking up at Takeda Darius then stepping forwards "Takeda Darius! Might I beg an audience with you?"

Takeda Darius paused in whatever he was saying to turn and face Ritsuka, inclining his head for a moment before he growled and pointed at Demon Archer.

"Unless you are about to announce your betrayal of this fool, then I will not hear of it." Sanada Medusa supplied "I will have my vengeance against the fool of owari and claim this land as my own."

"Bah!" Demon Archer waved her arm "You can plant your flag in the arctic for all I care. I still wouldn't be interested in it." spreading her arms wide, she gestured widely to their surroundings "There's nothing here but gravel and dead trees!"

"You just don't see inner beauty." Sanada Medusa translated the latest growling, although she also looked dubious as to the validity of the words as she squinted at the ground.

"This is getting absurd!" Demon Archer finally spoke the words that everyone was thinking as she stabbed a finger at the man "You're just making this up now! I bet you aren't even Kastuyori! You don't even look like him!" she then pointed at Sanada Medusa "And who the heck are you!?"

"Sanada Medusa."

"What, like Yukimura?" Demon Archer accused with a wave of the hand "This is madness! You don't even have a spear!" there was a silence "Also, you're a girl!"

Ritsuka gave her an odd look "...Are you actually going to play that card?" he asked with an expression of utmost seriousness "I'm not joking, are you for real?"

"What?" Demon Archer gave him an odd look as she pointed at Sanada Medusa "Sanda Yukimura was a guy! I met him!" she paused, realising she was coming close to revealing her true name and then coughed loudly while looking left and right "I-I mean…how could such a famous man actually end up a woman?"

That time, everyone failed to meet her eyes.

Even Takeda Darius was staring at his fingertips and picking dirt from underneath his nails.

"What?" Demon Archer paused and she looked around "What did I say?" she then turned to Sakura Saber "You get what I mean, right?"

Sakura Saber just gave her a very pointed look.

"Oh…Oooooooh." She realised and nodded her head, pursing her lips "My mistake, nevermind."

"This is getting surreal." Ritsuka grumbled into his hands as he pressed them flat against his face, letting loose a long and tired sigh before he raised up his communicator and pressed the on switch "Hey…can we get some-" he cut himself off and squinted at the screen "Are you eating croissants?"

Olga paused, crumbs littering the area around her mouth "N-no." her voice was slightly muffled by the fact she still had food in her mouth, she quickly gulped it down and then wiped her face to ensure it was spotless - unfortunately missing a small trace around her right side - and facing the screen with an air of professionalism.

Unhelped by the fact he could see Fou snacking away on a piece of croissant next to her, implying that she had most likely bribed the animal into leaving her alone.

"...Can we get some coffee rayshifted down?"

"No." Olga denied instantly, giving him her patented 'are you stupid?' expression which was swiftly followed by "Are you stupid? I am not wasting precious energy to Rayshift a single thermos of coffee down to your location. Our readings indicate you are within a few miles of a town, see what you might be able to discover there." she paused "And what of the Servants you have encountered?"

Ritsuka gave her a flat look before he raised his head and stared at Darius and Medusa "...They're a little…strange. But otherwise we haven't gotten into a fight yet."

"Good." Olga grunted as she nodded her head "The last thing we need is further-" she cut herself off and looked to the side "...You have a Servant reading coming in fast to your location, it looks airborne so be aware of any-"

"Hahahahaha!" Laughter boomed across the skies as a dark shadow passed overhead, the group looked upwards to see the familiar four winged storm drake owned by a certain war god. "I have sensed conflict and arrived! I am the avatar of Bishamonten! The great warrior of Echigo!"

The Storm Drake fell upon the ground with an earth shaking rumble "I am-" the rest of the riders words were cut off when the drake threw back its head and gave a loud roar, causing all those present to place their hands upon their ears.

"What the bloody-!?" Faraam(?) growled from the back of the drake, jumping off its back and marching around to face its head directly. "Why would you do that in the middle of my introduction? Are you trying to sabotage me or something?"

Storm grunted in response and then looked away.

"Answer me, Houshou Storm!"

Houshou Storm gave a loud roar of dissatisfaction in response and turned away from the Rider entirely, the war god crossed his arms in front of himself and growled wordlessly before shaking his head and turning to the ground.

The two groups stared at the new arrival before the man coughed into his fist "As I was saying!" flashing his sword spear into existence, he twirled the weapon in his grasp before planting it in the ground like a flag with the blade pointed skywards "I am Echigo's God of War! Nagao Faretora!

Ritsuka silently stared at the man, then heard the clanging of metal striking metal.

This time Arkon had both his hands over his helmet, the silver knight released a long and painful groan before he turned around and started to pace away from them.

"...Really?" Demon Archer raised an eyebrow before she squinted at the man "Well…I guess you do sort of look a little intimidating." she muttered in response before pointing at Storm "But what the heck sort of mount is that!?"

"...Houshou Storm." Faretora replied innocently, then looked up at the drake "Isn't that right?"

Houshou Storm grunted in annoyance at the name, prompting a hiss from the war god "Don't complain about the name! It's very dignified."

Houshou Storm released another growl before they jerked their head towards the Rider.

"Houshou Arashi?" Faretora titled their head "Well…I suppose it means the same thing but-" Houshou Storm released a quiet rumble, Faretora sighed and ran a hand through their long white hair "Fine, fine…Houshou Arashi it is."

The drake leaned back, preening at the victory it had achieved.

"As I was saying." Faretora turned around, thumping a hand into their chest "I am Nagao Faretora!" He then pointed at Takeda Darius "I have come to face you in the field of battle, my fated rival!"

Takeda Darius released a loud roar in response and then snapped at the reins of his elephant, the beast reared back and stomped their feet as they tensed themselves for a battle.

"I believe they intend to do battle." Ash stated as he started to walk backwards, egged on by Demon Archer tapping on his head while saying "Reverse." repeatedly.

"Probably." Ritsuka watched as black smoke started to leak from Houshou Arashi's beaked mouth, a crackle of fire flickering from their nose holes soon followed. "I'd suggest we make a hasty retreat?"

"Can we do it while still watching?" Demon Archer asked as the group slowly started to make their way around the two titans as they faced off against one another, Nagao Faretora's spear positively exploded with bright golden lightning as the man twirled it and levelled the weapon towards Takeda Darius.

"Because this looks sort of cool." Demon Archer grinned from atop Ash's shoulders, placing her hands on her hips and grinning wildly "When else will you get to see a dragon fight an elephant?"

Ritsuka paused for a moment "Good point, well made." he admitted then jerked a thumb over his shoulder "New plan everyone, we're gonna practise backwards walking."

"Is that safe, Senpai?" Mash asked worriedly from his side, the Master merely snorted in response but didn't comment on it further.

"Ha!" Nagao Faretora launched himself forwards at the same time Takeda Darius manifested a pair of gigantic single bladed axes and hurled himself from the top of his elephant at the Rider, the two met midair in an epic clash which had the winds buffeting around them.

At the same time, Houshou Arashi kicked off the ground and leapt towards the elephant which released a bellow from its trunk and then charged the drake, crashing into it in a tackle.

"That Mash." Ritsuka responded while grinning wildly "That is why we are practising our backwards walking!"

Arkon grunted and started to walk forwards like a normal person.

Then tripped over a large stone and face planted the ground.

"...Are you alright?" Sakura Saber asked as she crouched down at his side. Her only response was a deeply annoyed sigh echoing out from the helmet.

Arkon hated everything to do with this singularity right now.

AN: Hehehehehe.

Gonna be fun when they actually summon Nagao Kagetora in like…a while.

Anyway! Poor Arkon, a victim of the GudaGuda cycle while Ash is somehow taking to it like a fish takes to water.