GudaGuda Honnoji: III

Four figures stood upon a beach, each of them cast a wary glance at their fellow Servants.

"...Guess it's our turn then." The one with blue hair and crimson red eyes spoke, planting his blood red spear into the ground like a flag and then leaning on it. "Has to be, considering…what did you say again?" he turned to the only woman of their group and raised an eyebrow in a questioning fashion "They're coming or whatever?"

"I said they approach as we speak." The violet haired woman with pointed ears and purple robes replied, she thinned her lips before they drew themselves into a tense frown "I have scryed as much, after they fled from the battle between Nagao Faretora and Takeda Darius."

"Cool." The blue haired man grunted, giving a lazy tilt of the head "So how long? Ten…fifteen minutes?"

"More so in the region of half an hour." She replied easily, then looked across at the other Servants present "And you two shall be ready."

"Humph." The silver haired man with tanned skin and a black vest grunted in response, crossing his arms and closing his eyes "As you say, although I find myself questioning why we partake in this foolery."

"That is the question that haunts even me." Their final figure spoke, dark plate armour with a red cape clinging to their shoulders. The black haired man frowned heavily "How did such an event come to pass?"

"Someone got shitfaced and messed up." The blue haired man grunted in response before he grinned "And I want to know what they were drinking and where I can get some."

"Heh, typical." The tanned man rolled his eyes at his companion's comments "Well?" he directed the question towards the lone woman, she remained silent for a few moments before throwing her hands up in frustration and pacing around them.

"This is absolute nonsense!" She proclaimed loudly, waving her arms around and gesturing wildly to their surroundings "This space is absurd! The flow of magical energy here is so skewered it is downright insanity and the magical energy coming from the Grail has clearly been tampered with in such a way that it has warped this entire location!" she panted heavily before rounding on the other three "Whatever happened to having a normal Grail War?"

"You can get normal Grail Wars?" The black haired man asked in surprise, placing his hands on his hips and blinking "I just assumed this was a normal occurrence."

"It is, that is the issue." The tanned man responded before anyone else could get a word in "More often than not, you will find that the events surrounding the Grail tend to go in a rather ludicrous direction without there being a way to stop them." he paused before giving the woman a moderately impressed glance "As expected of a witch from the Age of Gods, to think you could see through this so quickly."

The woman levelled him with a dull look for a few seconds before she slumped, exhaling for what felt like an eternity to the extent that the others were almost convinced she had breathed out her very soul "Obviously…not that I can actually do anything about it except obey the vague orders I have been given."

Looking up, she gazed at the other three "You know of the legend of a familiar made from the corpses of others? Fleshenstein or the like…that is what this Grail War is. Everything got tampered with and the end result is a freakish mash of differing concepts and legends."

"Explains my name then." The blue haired man grumbled in response, making a face of visible discomfort "How did I end up saddled with my childhood name? And who the hell even is Shimazu!?" he stabbed a finger at the others "Who!?"

"Perhaps it is Shimazu Toyohisa. There seems to be a theme with the warring states period of time given all of our names." The tanned Archer supplied as he gestured to himself "Chosokabe Motochika." then towards the woman "Mori Motonari and finally…" he trailed off as he stared at the final figure "I have nothing for you."

"Isshin Rendina." The final man introduced himself before he tilted his head "Although - like yourselves - the name is not known to me."

"What the Hell kind of name is Mori Medinari!?" Medinari exclaimed, pointing to herself with wide eyes "I don't know anything about the far east!"

Emichika shrugged his shoulders in response "I am afraid there is little to be done about that, although having the witch of betrayal as a grand strategist…"

"Don't start, you!" She stabbed a finger in his direction "Drop that smug expression that screams that you know whatever is going on here, you're obviously as clueless as the rest of us."

Emichika frowned for a moment before he shrugged his shoulders and looked away, choosing not to answer the question and content to simply gaze into the distance in a forlorn sort of fashion. The truth was that he was actually as clueless as the rest of them and playing off what little knowledge he had available to him.

Shimazu Setanta stared at the two of them before he grunted and looked away in a huff. "How the heck did I end up with you lot as allies? I'd rather have just not shown up to begin with."

"Same." Emichikia grunted as well, the two men shared a look with each other before each making expressions of disgust that they were actually agreeing with their opposing individual.

"Is now truly the time for petty grudges to surface?" Rendina asked as he looked between the two men, frowning ever so slightly "We have all been summoned for the simple purpose of battling the Chaldeans to the best of our ability by our elusive Master, I see no reason as to why we should not be devoting our all to this goal." he crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes "Whatever rivalry the two of you have is not more important than our orders."

"...Tch, fine." Setanta clicked his tongue and looked away with a curt nod of the head, Rendina's eyes then fell upon the tanned Servant with an expectant glint in them.

Emichika stared back at the Saber before he sighed and looked away "Very well, I suppose I shall ignore it for now."

"Excellent." Rendina nodded his head, pleased with the end result before turning to Medinari "Did you have some manner of plan for us? I believe Emichika stated that you were conjoined with a strategist?"

"I suppose I was, wasn't I?" Medinari realised before she shook her head and schooled her features "If I cannot escape this asylum, then I shall simply work my way to its end which means playing the role of a patient." she pointed at the Lancer "Setanta, you shall lure in the Chaldeans with your superior speed and bring them towards us."

"Using me as bait, eh?" The Lancer grinned "Alright, I can do that."

"Good." Medinari turned to Emichika and nodded upwards towards the ridge overlooking the beach. "I want you positioned there, once Setanta lures them in, you shall bombard their position and keep them from grouping up."

Emichika raised an eyebrow but otherwise didn't comment on the command, instead he nodded his head once to confirm that he acknowledged the order and was going to commit to it.

"You." She then turned to the final figure, Rendina stared back at her with a stern visage "While Archer keeps them separated, you shall go in and deal with the stragglers, namely to hold down their front line Servants and keep them from assisting their own Archers, Lancer shall deal with those. Their preference for ranged weaponry makes him ideal for dealing with them."

"By your command." Rendina nodded his head and placed his hand on his sword grip.

"I shall continuously summon skeletal familiars to run interference." Medinari stated further as she brandished her staff, she waited for a moment before she hummed to herself "That feels a suitably simple but effective plan, does it not?"

"It does indeed." Emichika commented with a wry smile, leaning back and crossing his arms in front of his chest "You are getting rather accustomed to this title of strategist, aren't you Caster?"

"So what are you personally going to be doing though?" Setanta asked with a raised eyebrow "Surely you're gonna be doing more than chucking the odd bone man at some Servants? Those things aren't gonna last five seconds against any competent warrior."

"Me?" Medinari blinked before she shook her head "I'm just a weak witch…" she then looked away "A-and something called…" her eyes squinted in confusion "A…a waifu?"

Emichika snorted and looked away, quickly covering up his laugh with a cough and hiding his amusement behind a fist. The action earned him the brief glance of a rather suspicious witch before she dismissed it entirely and returned to conversing with the others.

"Besides…I need to preserve an aloof ladylike image." She carried on "I can't be seen to get involved in physical matters so casually, can I? That would ruin my entire image and make me seem little more than some violent barbarian rather than the delicate young lady that I actually am." Medinari paused before frowning "Besides, it certainly falls within my best interests to prove that my younger self has none of the mature charm that I radiate."

"...Younger self?" Setanta raised an eyebrow at her in response "You can get those?"

"Apparently!" She scowled heavily "And just because she's younger than me doesn't automatically make me old! She's a child!" she argued, pressing a hand against her chest and giving a beatific smile "I am still a young and attractive woman, aren't I?"

The three men opposite her exchange glances with each other for a few seconds before Rendina decided to reply.

"...Yes." He said after a few moments, giving her a single nod of the head "You are a mature and attractive woman, there is little need for you to be involved beyond casting summoning spells for skeletons." he assured her with a gentle smile "Do as you will and leave the heavy lifting to us, mildady."

Emichika rolled his eyes in response "Certainly a knight, aren't you?"

"I am the Knight King." The man dryly responded, shooting the tanned man a raised eyebrow "Is it not expected of me to uphold some measure of chivalry? Just because I am an undead does not mean I have forgotten all my manners."

"Well, I appreciate the compliment." Medinari responded with a casual smile before steeling her expression "Assume your positions, we shall have to make ready for their arrival soon."

"Thank the Gods for that." Setanta gave a savage grin as he ripped his lance from the ground and twirled it in his grasp "I was getting tired of waiting!" he turned around and started to march further up the length of the beach in the direction the Chaldeans were due to arrive from.

"Do not get overconfident!" Medinari called out after him "Who knows what manner of schemes they have already worked up!"

"Well, if the Witch of Betrayal is warning of schemes, then it surely is a warning worth taking." Emichika jested with a smirk as he jumped to avoid being struck down by lightning launched by the irate woman.

"You remind me of a rice farmer who also doesn't know when to shut his mouth!" Medinari called after him before she growled and slumped her shoulders.

"Try to avoid overstressing." Rendina advised her "I'm told it does terrible things to your complexion." he paused, reaching up and scratching his cheek "Although as you can tell, I am unfamiliar with such problems."

Medinari gave him a dull look "Just…be ready for any surprises."

"I am surprised you have these." Demon Archer remarked as she held the black firebomb in her hands, staring at the smooth metallic sphere with a short fuse at the top of them. Giving an intrigued hum, she examined it closer before lowering it and staring down at the top of the Archers head "How many do you have?"

"...Several dozen, perhaps more." Ash admitted after a moment's thought "I also have a considerable number of roped versions and regular firebombs."

Demon Archer blinked and looked down at the ball in her hands "Are these irregular or something?"

"Those are made from metal, the regular fire bombs are made from simple clay pots." The servant explained, trying his best to indicate a shrug and jostling the girl on his shoulders ever so slightly "The roped versions can be thrown behind me."

"Behind?" Demon Archer raised an eyebrow at him "Didn't you try and throw them like a sling or something?"

Ash was silent for a few moments "Like a what?"

"You know, you spin them really quick and then let go and hurl this stone really fast from them. That sort of thing?"

"Oh." Ash was quiet once again "I believe that David had one of those, do you believe it would work with firebombs?"

"You'd probably need a big sling." Demon Archer grunted in response, then paused as an epiphany came to her "Or a slingshot gun!" she exclaimed with a sudden sense of amazement, as if baffled by her own genius.

"A…slingshot gun?"

"Yeah!" Demon Archer cackled "You know a crossbow? Imagine something like that but instead of firing bolts it fired bombs!"

Ash stopped walking, staring off into the distance in silence before he craned his head up to stare at the upside down face of the grinning Archer riding on his shoulders "...You have intriguing ideas." he commented after a moment before his lip twitched upwards ever so slightly "I believe they also have merit. Such a weapon would further the range of my firebombs?"

"It would further the range of all types of bombs!" Demon Archer purred before she threw her head back "Wahahaha! We're both geniuses! As expected of my newest retainer!"

Ash looked back down and continued walking "A question comes to me, what was your goal in life?"

"Huh?" Demon Archer blinked and looked down at him "What do you mean?"

"You need not tell me your true name, but I am curious as to what you desired from your existence." He went on further, frowning "...What was your dream?"

"...Huh, that's pretty deep." Demon Archer thinned her lips, and stared ahead of them "...I was just gonna put an end to the chaos of my homeland. Figured if they were all working under men, then they wouldn't be fighting each other." she shrugged, resting the fire bomb atop Ash's head "That's just all there was to it, I suppose. Tried my hardest and it worked for a little bit. Why do you ask?"

"I…was confirming something." Ash replied in an odd tone of voice before he shook his head "But I am relieved to hear of your goal."

"I'd hope so, you're now technically working for me." Demon Archer grunted in amusement "Not that it matters all that much, but your appreciation for my dream is very much noted and accepted." she paused for a moment "Also you make for a much better idea generator than my brother." she made a face "...Meh, as far as subordinates go he wasn't bad but it's always just 'You're great at everything sister, I believe in you sister' and I'm just standing there like 'fine, great…so do you have any ideas of your own that don't involve betraying me?'."

Ash stopped walking once again "Betrayal? Why would he betray you?"

"Who the heck knows?" Demon Archer shrugged her shoulders in response "...Actually, it might have been because others expected him to lead but apart from that." she sniffed before shaking her head and letting out a sigh "...So, slingshot fire bomb launcher?"

"The idea has merit, it increases the range of projectiles considerably." Ash responded after a moment "However, Servants have high agility and reflexes."

"You'd need a caster to bless the mechanism so it launches super fast or something." Demon Archer acknowledged, cupping her chin "Do you know any like that?"

"I am familiar with some of them, yes." Ash nodded his head in response, earning a pleased noise from the Archer "I am confident that once I explain the benefits of such a weapon, they will agree to aiding me in creating it. Would you wish for a version yourself?"

"Would I!?" Demon Archer threw her arms wide "You bet I would! Heck, why stop with one!? Make it a rapid fire!"

"You mean quick succession of attacks?" Ash hummed "Intriguing, it would reduce the need to reload after every shot. However, what would occur once the supply of firebombs ran out?"

"You make it a magazine weapon." Demon Archer explained easily "I know of them, the throne tells me about these things called 'machine guns' and they fire bullets super fast."

"Truly?" Ash hummed "I know that Gael had a crossbow that was a repeater weapon, it would fire dozens of bolts before it required to be refilled. However for fire bombs it would need to be much larger…or the fire bombs would need to be smaller."

"Best to go big." Demon Archer remarked, placing her hands on her hips "These sorts of things aren't that big a concern for Servants like us. Considering…you know…super strength compared to regular humans."

The Sarcher gave a single hum in response "You speak truly, in that case what do you know of these 'machine guns'?"

"Well…"

"While I'm glad that Ash is making friends, I can't help but feel horrified at just how easily he has made friends with someone like that." Ritsuka remarked with a slightly distrubed expression as he looked over his shoulder at Demon Archer and the Saber turned Archer chatting away to each other while the small girl on the Sabers shoulders held what looked like a bomb in her hands "I'm already feeling some sort of headache growing."

"As am I." Sakura Saber responded with a perturbed expression on her face as she gazed at the duo before shaking her head and turning back around to face ahead of them "I fear that your Saber-"

"Ash-san says he's an Archer now." Mash supplied from the side, then frowned "He says its because he is now using a bow as a primary weapon."

"That's…I'm not even going to comment on that." Ritsuka groaned and he rubbed the bridge of his nose "That is just flat out not the sort of thing that I am at all willing to comment upon." he lowered the hand back to his side "But it just…it seems weird how well they get on, doesn't it?"

"Really?" Mash blinked at him before she looked behind herself once again at the duo "...I suppose it might." she hummed to herself "Maybe its because Demon Archer appeals to Ash-san's…simple approach?"

"You mean they're both blunt and don't care for time wasting?" Ritsuka raised an eyebrow at her before he blinked "Huh…suddenly that makes a lot more sense."

"They are both also plagued with ideas that no sane man would consider for more than ten seconds." Arkon bluntly commented from ahead of them "In the short time that I have known the undead, he has proven to be one who has little regard for common sense and merely does whatever he feels is right at the present moment in time. An apt strategy for one who has no team to rely upon, a poor one for an individual who is part of a group."

Ritsuka hummed "He did say he did most of his travelling alone." he responded before shaking his head "Anyway, they seem to be getting on well enough and…well…" a smile slipped onto his features "As long as it keeps him happy, I'm fine with it."

There was a slight pause for a few moments before his expression became strained "But I am seriously worried at how quickly they started talking about turning a teapot into a weapon, who the heck looks at a teapot and thinks of that?" he asked, looking around at the other Servants present.

Arkon remained silent, not even seeing fit to reply to the question with an answer.

Mash was similarly frowning, although she was looking as though she was more in thought than anything else, her lips drawn into thin lines as she quietly hummed before she turned back to the Master "But…could you turn it into a bomb?"

Ritsuka blinked at her "Mash, anything can be turned into a bomb if you try hard enough but that doesn't mean that it should." he pointed at his head "Most people don't see a kettle and go 'I shall turn this into a thermite explosive'...I mean, I haven't."

Sakura Saber nodded sagely at his side "True enough, however you are forgetting that Demon Archer lacks a basic grasp of common sense. They are a fool, after all."

"That was established fairly easily." Ritsuka grunted in thinly veiled amusement before shaking his head and crossing his arms over his chest "Regardless, how did we go from wandering across a desert-"

"Savanna." Mash corrected from his side without being prompted.

"-Savanna to ending up on a beach of all things?" He asked with a raised eyebrow as he gestured around them "Where did this even come from? Aren't you supposed to be able to smell beaches from miles around?"

"That is algae in the water that produces sulphur, Senpai." Mash politely informed him with a raised hand and a studious expression "The plant released the gas which travels for miles and produces the 'smell' of the seashore." she pointed towards the water "This ocean appears crisp and clean without any evidence of pollution to it."

"Oh, so perfect holiday resort then?" Ritsuka hummed in response, leaning back and staring at the ocean with renewed interest. "Nice."

"Probably makes for a decent fishing spot and all." A voice chimed in from behind them "You could even build a nice pier to sit on while you waited for a bite."

"You could, actually." Ritsuka admitted with a faint smile and a nod of the head "Although I've never really done much fishing myself so I wouldn't be very good at it."

"Ah, that sort of thing just takes practice and patience. If you've got plenty of the second, then you'll be fine."

Ritsuka paused, realising that the voice didn't belong to any of the Servants he had brought with him. Slowly turning around, he found himself face to face with amused crimson eyes and the bare tattooed chest of a certain blue haired Lancer. The man sported a wide smirk that looked equal parts humorous and equal parts bloodthirsty.

"Yo."

Ritsuka recoiled away with wide eyes, mouth going wide "Cu-"

That - unfortunately - turned out to be a mistake.

The second his mouth opened up, the Lancer acted. He had been ordered to get their attention and lure them away which meant he had to do something to earn their ire.

So he did.

"Beach sand throw!" He exclaimed out loud, hurling forth the sand that he had picked up directly into the faces of the Chaldeans, prompting them to recoil away from him and claw at their own eyes. With the exception of Ritsuka who started to hack and choke from ending up swallowing a mouthful of sand as well as ending up with it in his eyes.

"Pff-hac!?" Ritsuka eloquently spoke as he dropped to his hands and knees and violently tried to cough out the sand that he had swallowed, he was joined by Sakura Saber who had been startled by the attack and let out a shriek.

Which had disturbed her lungs.

The end result was her also hacking up onto the sand, although she was coughing up blood instead of small particles of beach gravel.

"My eyes!" Mash cried out as she clasped at them, trying to dislodge the sand from them as she staggered away.

Shimazu Setanta had initially prepared himself to run, only to stop and stare at the group with bemusement at the fact that throwing a handful of sand at them had managed to somehow take out two Servants and the Master at the same time.

He stared at them for a few more seconds before his attention flickered up towards the Silver Knight standing behind them. His helmet was facing down at the group, his posture was still and somehow radiating equal measures of sheer bafflement at the predicament.

"H-How!?" Arkon barked out incredulously, then whirled on the Lancer "What did you do!?"

Shimazu Setanta merely blinked at him in response, his spear still planted in the ground "...I threw sand in their face, not something I would usually do but it was just to attract their attention," he turned back to the group and made a face at them, particularly watching as Sakura Saber coughed up blood onto the floor "...What the fuck?"

He looked down at the sand at his feet and blanched "What the fuck is wrong with this place!?"

"It's in my mouth!" Ritsuka cried out, spitting out onto the ground "It's in my mouth!"

"It's in my eyes!" Mash cried out, furiously rubbing her face with her gauntlets "It burns!"

"Guugh!?" Sakura Saber choked out another mouthful of blood.

"What the…?" Both Shimazu Setanta and Arkon turned to the voice, finding themselves staring at the strange duo of Servants who had only just arrived.

Demon Archer stared down at the group writhing around on the floor with a perturbed expression before her face slowly drifted over to the Lancer and gazed at his clueless expression. She then looked over to Arkon and managed to infer that he was just as baffled as she was.

"...What in the flames?" Ash whispered out in confusion, squinting at the group before he looked to Lancer "Cu? No…you are another of the odd Servants, aren't you?"

"Shimazu Setanta…" Cu replied in a distant voice as his attention darted between the two groups "...Yo."

"I see…What happened?"

"I…threw sand at them."

"Sand?"

"Yeah."

"Just…normal sand?"

"I think so." Setanta murmured as he kicked the group and displaced another small mound of the substance in question "Looks normal to me."

Ash pointedly looked at the woman currently regurgitating her body's supply of blood, then back at the Lancer as if to say 'are you sure?'.

"So." Demon Archer coughed loudly and then pointed at the Lancer "You dare to attack us! I shall see you dealt with for this!"

"I don't think you can save face now." Setanta muttered as he watched Ritsuka wipe his tongue with his sleeve, somehow forgetting it had been in the sand just moments prior and ending up with more of it in his mouth, much to his growing horror. "I just took out half your group with a single handful of sand."

Demon Archer made a face at him before her eyes flickered to the Sarcher beneath her and then towards Arkon before they returned to the Lancer.

"Now!" She cried out, manifesting a rifle at the Lancer and taking aim towards him. Shimazu Setanta had barely a moment to blink in surprise before she discharged the weapon at point blank range towards the man.

The crimson spear blurred before a 'ting' noise rang out and a spark of light flashed across the surface of the polearm for half a second before vanishing. Shimazu Setanta kicked off the ground away from them while grinning from ear to ear, Demon Archer scowled openly at him before she waved her hand to the side.

Several rifles manifested just behind her and took aim towards the man before they opened fire repeatedly at him. Lancer just laughed loudly as he twirled the spear around his body, deflecting every bullet that came even remotely close to him as he did so.

"He has protection from projectiles!" Ash informed the others as he planted his bow into the ground and nocked a large arrow and took aim towards the man, narrowing his eyes he loosened the arrow towards the man's feet as he landed. Lancer narrowed his eyes and rushed forwards, swinging his lance upwards and striking the shaft of the arrow and splitting it in halt.

Demon Archer jostled on Ash's shoulder slightly as he turned his body sideways and nocked another arrow. The projectile was loosened and once again parried away from the Servant as he continued to dance away from the group.

Arkon charged after him, swinging his sword downwards and striking the guard of the Lancer. Setanta grinned before he pushed the swordsman back and twisted the spear in his grasp, sliding the momentum of the Saber downwards and flicking the crimson spear to crack it against the side of the helmet. Arkon stumbled with the blow before he swiped upwards, Shimazu leaned back as the sword sliced through the air just above his face before he rolled back along the ground.

"Pugh!" Ritsuka eloquently spat out the last of the sand before he levelled a rather irritated glare upon the Lancer and stabbed a finger towards him "He's faster than us, try and keep him rooted in position!"

"Harder than it looks, you know!?" Demon Archer growled as she continued to fire her formation of rifles behind the Sarcher, the man nocking yet another arrow and loosening it with a sudden gust of wind. Setanta didn't so much as blink as the spear blurred through the air, cracking away the bullets before he ducked down and allowed the arrow to shoot above his body and crash into the sand some distance away.

"Damn!" Ritsuka cursed as he grit his teeth "Arkon, Sakura flank him!"

"Hai!" Sakura Saber called out, Ritsuka have her an odd look for a moment before she leaned forwards and launched herself off the ground in a blur of pink. Setanta's eyes narrowed as he tracked her rocketing to his side.

Turning on his heel, he sped forwards and away from the group as fast as he could, prompting the group to briefly give him a dumbfounded look.

"Eh?" Ritsuka gaped "Wha-why is he running away?!"

"I don't know, Senpai!" Mash exclaimed in similar surprise "It isn't like Cu-san to run away from a battle!" she paused before narrowing her eyes "Maybe he has been affected by the changes in the singularity?"

"Irrelevant." Arkon grunted as he glared at the retreating Lancer "He would not attack and then flee without some manner of strategy, either he is luring us towards his allies or he is intending on performing hit and run attacks."

"So either an ambush or attrition." Ritsuka muttered in response with a frown of his own, his lips pursed "And he's faster than all of the Servants we have with us at the moment…"

"Wait…" Ash frowned ever so slightly "Protection from Arrows…it works against all projectiles, yes?"

"From the looks of things, yeah." Demon Archer complained from the Sarcher's shoulders, waving her rifle about as her own little firing squad vanished "He even blocked my bullets! How is a bullet an arrow?!"

"I mean…" Ritsuka turned to Demon Archer and shrugged ever so slightly "An arrow is basically a long bullet."

Demon Archer stared.

Her rifle was slowly lowered as her eyes seemed to showcase the galaxy sized revelation that was just dropped on her. Her mouth went slightly agape before she raised her head and stared off into the distance.

"I believe you broke her." Sakura Saber whispered to him as she squinted at the other Servant before she shook her head and turned to face the direction Lancer had run away to "However, I agree with Captain Arkon. I believe the Lancer likely intends to lure us into a trap."

"Great." Ritsuka sighed, reaching up and rubbing his forehead "How come we always end up walking right into a fight? Are we just…I don't know…" he lowered his arm and looked over his shoulder onto his back "Do I just have a note on my back that says 'We're assholes, come fight us?' because otherwise this seems unreasonable."

"It could be worse, Senpai." Mash gave a perturbed look as she gazed skywards with clear suspicion "We have been consistently assaulted by wyverns on several occasions despite not being within the French Singularity." she looked back down and tilted her head "Such as the Third Singularity."

Ritsuka snapped his fingers and pointed at her "Yes!" he looked around and waved his arms "Are we just accident prone? Do we have flashing neon signs? Can't we just walk into one group of Servants who don't want to try and fight us for some weird and arbitrary reason? It's insane!"

"Senpai?"

"Yes?"

"...Cu-san is celtic."

"...Apart from those guys." He waved at Mash in resignation "Because those guys are just built differently…" he turned to Ash and gestured to himself "I don't know, do you think I'm being unreasonable?"

Ash stared at him blankly, his green eyes shined with uncertainty for a moment before he spoke slowly "Nearly everything I ever met back in my own world tried to eviscerate me. This world - thus far - has still been much more civilised in my experience, even with the frequent attacks and initial hostility."

Ritsuka slumped his shoulders and closed his eyes "...I don't even know why I asked you, I could already tell that was what your answer was going to be."

"...Sorry if I have caused you trouble."

"Not your fault." Ritsuka waved off the apology with ease "Just me, I guess." he looked towards Demon Archer and Sakura Saber with expectant expressions.

"Meh." Demon Archer shrugged "I'm sort of used to it at this point, you can't unite all of Japan without expecting to make a few enemies."

"Considering we've done nothing but run into your enemies, I think that's a given." Arkon sniped from across from them, stabbing a finger towards her "We likely would have avoided a great deal of hassle if we had simply dumped you somewhere and left you be."

"Hey!" Demon Archer scowled at the man "Don't get mad at me because you can't handle a little extra work!"

"I concur." Ash nodded his head "The benefits she brings in the form of ranged weaponry far exceeds the downsides, and we have no guarantee that we would not have to battle the Servants with or without her presence. Those who held the appearance of Arash attacked us regardless of our company."

Arkon growled before he looked away in a huff, crossing his arms and saying nothing.

Sakura Saber made a 'so-so' gesture with her hands "I'm normally in a position where if I am being sent out, it's usually to do battle so I'm not the best to ask in regards to that subject either I'm afraid." she gave Ritsuka a slightly guilty look, "Sorry if I am not more helpful."

"Well, duh!" Demon Archer waved a hand at her from atop Ash's shoulders "You don't get a nickname like 'manslayer' by being the type to prefer a peaceful solution." she rolled her eyes in amusement before shaking her head "Way I see it, you need to prepare for the good and the bad…also be sure to expect the worst!"

Mash stared at her with barely concealed worry "That sounds…very paranoid."

"Is it really paranoid if they are out to get you?" Demon Archer countered with a knowing look.

Ash had an expression as though he had reached enlightenment before he nodded his head in response "That…does make sense."

"Stop listening to her, Ash-san!" Mash begged him with a not so concealed look of horror "She's corrupting you!"

"I'm educating him!"

"That's worse!" Sakura Saber called out "Stop doing that!"

Ritsuka rolled his eyes at the group before he raised up his communicator and stared at it, the screen flashing up and revealing the Director's face "What do you think?"

Olga remained silent as she stared at him for a few moments "...I believe you should listen to your instincts and be thankful that these Servants are at least open with their hostility, rather than cloaking their disgust behind false sincerity." she growled, crossing her arms and leaning back "Now then, I shall assume you desire to avoid combat with them?"

"If possible." Ritsuka explained with a strained look before he paused, "Wait…can we actually avoid them?"

"You can, yes." She nodded her head and gestured to a screen at her left "We've plotted a route that should take you away from the likely ambush sight. From the looks of it, your journey will be extended by at least twenty minutes but it also removes any risk from potential battles that would ultimately prove pointless once the Grail is dealt with."

"Huh…" Ritsuka stared at the screen blankly before he smiled at the woman "Thanks Director."

The woman coughed into her hand and looked away "Y-yes well, keeping my employees safe is a basic requirement of being the Director, there is no deeper meaning to it at all!" she stabbed a finger at him "So get that smile off your face, I'm just not willing to have you risk injury in an otherwise freaky-"

"Hey, hey!" Da Vinci's face flashed up, grinning with a wide smile and staring directly at Ritsuka "Da Vinci photobomb!"

"Isn't it a videobomb?" Ritsuka asked with a raised eyebrow.

Da Vinci squinted at him for a half second before she shrugged her shoulders "Probably." she admitted without much fanfare on the subject "But more importantly, how many more of those pots have you been able to procure?" she asked with a look in her eyes that seemed to twinkle like stars.

"Well, we ran into a couple more Noblites on our way here." Ritsuka responded as he cupped his chin "They dropped some more of those bland teapots-"

"Landmine ammunition!" Demon Archer called out from a distance.

Both Ritsuka and Da Vinci sent her a look that just screamed 'that isn't happening' before they returned their attention to one another "We also found a couple tea cups that have these nifty looking designs on the inside that sort of remind me of one of those print pattern shirts…and then some dirt brown ceramic bottle."

"Grenades!"

"We are not turning alcohol bottles into grenades!"

"Ever heard of molotov cocktails?" Demon Archer replied as if Ritsuka was an idiot, the Master did a double take at her.

"Where the heck did-" He cut himself off and closed his eyes before exhaling heavily "Let me guess…The Throne?"

"Yeah." Demon Archer responded with a grin as she rested her forearms on Ash's head and leaned forwards on it "Surprisingly handy for this sort of stuff, isn't it?"

Ash frowned slightly "Molotov Cocktale?"

"Cocktail." Demon Archer reiterated "With an 'i' instead of an 'e'." she then grinned "As for what they are…you ever set fire to alcohol?"

"No."

"Oh…well, alcohol burns really easily." She explained "Basically, you fill this bottle with it then put this little flammable cloth on the top before throwing it at someone after setting it on fire. The idea is that the bottle breaks and splashes flammable liquid on them which then catches fire because of the burning cloth stuffed in the top." she looked down at him "Simple, right?"

Ash slowly nodded his head "That sounds a surprising use for alcohol."

"To be fair, most people would rather drink it than douse someone with it and then set it alight." She admitted with a half shrug "I know that I would rather drink it but I'm fine with either, I suppose." she paused for a moment "Unless I'm the one getting showered, in which case it becomes a problem! Wahahaha!"

Ritsuka stared at them from a distance before he turned back to face Da Vinci and blinked at her amused expression, raising a lone eyebrow and staring at her "What's so funny?"

"Hm?" Da Vinci hummed in response and inclined her head slightly before shaking it "Nothing…I just find it amusing our resident Saber has finally touched upon his creative side is all." she sniffed and wiped away an imaginary tear "I'm almost proud."

Ritsuka gave her an empty look "He's…talking about making bombs though…?"

"So? Creativity manifests itself in different ways." She remarked with a shrug of the shoulders "His just so happens to be making weapons. Are you gonna deny him that when he's been a stick in the mud?" she leaned forwards and whispered "Besides, look how excited he is!" she giggled.

Ritsuka turned back to the Saber and squinted his eyes slightly, watching as he and Demon Archer (Oda Nobunaga of all people) were engaged in a discussion about something. Ritsuka made sure to pay attention to Ash's expression during the conversation.

He looked much more animated than usual.

There was…an almost invested look in his eyes.

Despite the topic of their conversation, Ritsuka felt a faint smile come upon his cheeks "Huh…look at that." he muttered quietly before shaking his head and turning back to Da Vinci "Nevermind then."

"...I'm still not letting him turn those pots into landmines."

"God no." Ritsuka scoffed and shook his head "That sounds like a terrible idea, those two would probably blow each other up first."

"Ha!" Da Vinci barked out a laugh and nodded her head "Most likely! There is a marked difference between creativity and competence!" she pressed a hand into her chest "I just so happen to score A rank in both!"

Ritsuka rolled his eyes "And E rank in humble.'' he murmured quietly, prompting the woman's eyes to flash dangerously.

"Hmmmmmmmm~?"

"Nothing." Ritsuka gave her a boyish smile that bespoke of innocence, Da Vinci continued to regard him with a dubious expression before she dismissed it with a roll of her eyes and leaned back "Anyway, how is the Director getting on?"

"Probably mad I cut her off." Da Vinci candidly replied "I should probably give you back to her now, remember to keep those supplies safe and don't let the danger duo turn them into ordinance!"

The screen cut out, Ritsuka snorted once "Danger duo." he muttered to himself in amusement before the screen flashed back up and Olga's irate expression filled his vision, looking far from pleased that she had been cut off mid-sentence.

"If that Caster wasn't so damned important I'd remove her chat privileges!" She seethed to herself, idly rubbing the back of Fou's ear, the white animal merely gave a quiet hum in response as it inclined itself closer to the woman. For a moment, it almost looked as though the animal was trying to drink her anguish before he dismissed the notion.

That would be absurd.

Shaking her head, she returned her gaze to the Master "For now, plot your course to take you east. There is a small forest that you should be able to cut through. Readings seem to indicate there might be more of those…" she hesitated, seemingly trying to force the next words out through gritted teeth "Noblites…in there."

"We'll keep a lookout then." Ritsuka nodded his head "Thanks for the help, Director."

The woman merely grunted in response and waved her hand.

Turning the communicator off, Ritsuka then turned around to face the group of Servants "Alright guys! We're going to cut through the forest behind us-" he threw a thumb over his shoulder towards the path leading away from the beach and towards a small rocky outcrop that lay in front of a forest "-and then try and avoid encountering Cu's group."

"Makes sense." Demon Archer nodded her head "No reason to waste time dealing with nuisances when there are much more important things to worry about."

She looked around and then noticed the odd looks she was getting from the group with the notable exception being Ash, unable to fully look at her courtesy of being her mount.

"What?" She asked with an indignant expression "You're all looking at me as though I just said something stupid."

"Quite the opposite." Arkon replied in a slow tone of voice, as if speaking to a child "I am just…baffled that you can be capable of making rational suggestions." he hummed before he cupped the chin of his helm "Perhaps this is what that human proverb of a broken clock being right twice a day entails?"

"Tch." Demon Archer scoffed and looked away from them "Maybe you're all just too stupid to see the true genius of my strategies at times!"

"And just like that, the semblance of sensibility has been cast off to the depths of the Abyss." Arkon grunted, shaking his head "Delusional fool." he scoffed quietly as he turned away and looked towards the direction of the path "You believe this to be a wise course of action, my lord?"

"Either we go around them or we end up fighting them." Ritsuka replied with a wave of the hand before he looked around himself "Is anyone really in a rush to do battle?"

He was rewarded with silence.

"So, there we have it. Off we go!" Ritsuka grinned and pointed towards the path "Oh! The Director also said we might encounter more Noblite forces, so…uhm…watch your step?"

"Do you mean to insinuate they are a threat?" Arkon asked incredulously before he paused and shrugged, "That being said, they do seem to pose a greater danger than the original."

"Hey!" Demon Archer growled "It ain't my fault the Grail decided to mess with me! It can't be helped!"

"It most likely could."

Shimazu Setanta kicked at the sand, idly staring off into the distance. The man felt as though he had been standing there for eons before eventually letting out a long sigh and turning his head to stare at the sky "What the heck is taking so long?" he grumbled.

After another ten minutes of waiting, he let out a wordless growl and turned on his heel. Marching back the way he had originally come and off in the same direction that he knew Medinari and the others would be in.

Judging by the fact that he came back without any sense of urgency and an irritated look on his face, the other Servants quickly came out of hiding and approached him with clear expressions of confusion.

"Um…" Rendina looked over Setanta's shoulder with a raised eyebrow before back at the Lancer "Where are they?"

"Fuck if I know." Setanta scowled, kicking another portion of sand away from him "Stood there for, like, twenty minutes looking like a muppet."

"Did you even approach them?" Emichika asked, crossing his arms and levelling a thoroughly unimpressed look at the Lancer.

"Fuck you did I approach them!" The man spat back "I was close enough that I could see the whites of their eyes."

Emichika still stared at him before he turned his body and made a show of gazing off in the direction the Lancer had come marching from "Really?" he spoke in a drawn out tone of voice before his gaze returned to the blue haired man "I can't help but notice you came back alone…dare I ask if you somehow managed to defeat them all single handedly?"

His tone of voice made it clear that he already knew what the answer was, he just wanted the man to say the words.

Setanta grit his teeth before he breathed out through his nose "I got in their faces, Hell, I threw sand in their faces!" he pointed at his own face "Then turned around and ran off! They even took a couple pot shots at me so I don't know why they didn't give chase!"

"Maybe they suspected it was a trap?" Rendina commented, placing his hands on his hips and shrugging his shoulders "And decided not to chase after you?" he then paused and raised an eyebrow "And sand? What good would sand do against Servants?"

"See, that was my line of thinking as well." Setanta pointed at them with a baffled expression "But…I don't know…" he sighed, scratching his cheek and looking very puzzled "I chucked a handful of sand in their faces and managed to down not just the Master, but two of his Servants as well."

He got mystified looks from everyone around him.

"...Is this some kind of joke?" Medinari asked with squinted eyes "Are you making a jest of some kind?"

"I shit you not." Setanta carried on, resting his hand on the back of his neck and sounding more and more confused the longer he spoke "I managed to catch the Master in the mouth with the sand so he's on the floor coughing and spitting…I caught a lass with a shield in the eyes so she's suddenly screaming and then…I don't know what the last one is about, she just keeled over and started coughing up blood."

Emichika raised both his eyebrows at that "...Really?"

"I don't know either man." Setanta grunted, then looked at Rendina and Medinari "Do you know anyone like that?"

"Someone who coughs up blood after being struck with a handful of sand?" Rendina raised a dubious eyebrow before he slowly shook his head "I…cannot say that I have ever encountered an individual who suffers from such a weakness."

"A conceptual one perhaps?" Medinari muttered aloud as she cupped her chin in thought "I suppose it would explain it but then why would they purposefully go to a beach?" she asked as she dropped her hands to her side and stared up at the sky "I-it's like Sasaki Kojiro fighting someone with a boat oar for a weapon!"

Emichika raised an eyebrow in amusement "Didn't you say you weren't familiar with far east history?"

Medinari scowled "Don't remind me." she muttered in an annoyed tone of voice before she returned her attention to Setanta "But that doesn't explain why they aren't behind you!"

"You're the witch! You tell me!" Setanta shot back "I followed your plan! I was damn good bait!"

"And yet…" Emichika gestured to the remarkably combatant free beach in front of him "How odd."

"Man, fuck you."

"Just shut up for a moment!" Medinari snapped at them before she turned around and chanted under her lips, manifesting a clear coloured sphere in front of herself and forming circles around it. After a few moments of studying it her eyes eventually lost any light they had in them and her expression went slack. The orb vanished and her arms dropped back to her side before she turned around and stared off into the distance.

"Yeah…that's a real promising sign." Setanta dryly remarked.

"That isn't helping." Rendina frowned at him before turning to the woman "Medinari, are you alright? What did you see?"

"..."

"Sorry?"

"They went around." She mumbled back, just loud enough for the group to hear them.

"They what?" Setanta was the first to recover and leaned forwards, tilting his head to the side so as to present his ear to the woman.

"They went around us." Medinari spoke again, raising her right arm and pointing towards the rocky outcrop and the distant shape of trees "Through there…just walked right around all of us and carried on."

Rendina was silent for a moment before he opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again and furrowed his brows. Staring down at the group in front of him with a thoughtful expression.

"...They could do that?" Setanta asked with a strained look on his face, turning to Emichika "Did you know they could do that?"

"Obviously not." Emichika pinched the bridge of his nose as they replied "Seriously? They just walked around us?"

"All that planning I did…" Medinari sniffed "All that work as a strategist and they just walked around…what was the point of all that effort?"

Rendina walked towards her, raising his right arm and gently patting her on the shoulder twice "...It's the thought that counts?"

Medinari gave him an arctic glare.

"Great job team." Setanta sarcastically remarked as he raised his right thumb up "A for effort…I'm off."

"And where are you off to? Trying to find the rest of your pack?"

"Dog jokes…funny." Setanta sneered at him "I'm going to fish, asshole."

Emichika remained silent for a moment before he shrugged "Very well, I suppose I can join you."

"It wasn't an invitation."

"I never said I accepted an invitation."

"...Tch. Doesn't matter, you'll probably suck anyway."

"I'm certain those words won't come back to haunt you again." Emichika gave him a condescending smile, "You'll do fine."

"Ha!" Setanta's grin turned predatory. "That a challenge?"

"Not for me it isn't."

Medinari stared down at the sand as the two Servants wandered off, leaving herself and Rendina alone "This was my chance to show everyone that I could pull off a cold and calculating strategist…show them I was much better than that naive child me."

Rendina hummed "...At least the others are getting along?"

"...You're terrible at giving comfort."

"That hasn't changed from life all that much either." The man admitted with a wince "Sorry."

"Tch…nevermind."

"I'm sure your plan would have worked if they hadn't walked around it."

"...Whatever. I'm going to…do something." She huffed and floated into the air before vanishing into a cloud of purple lights.

Rendina watched her depart before shaking his head and turning in the direction of the others "May as well join them, I suppose."