In London, Kara rode a horse as she overlooked formation blocks of British troops. She gave the salute several times as these formation blocks march past her in a symbolic inspection. With her eyes, Kara could see every imperfection of their uniform and any health defects within the troops. During the ceremony, several fighter jets flew over the city with blue, red, and gold-colored smoke behind them. Mon was present as well in his Insane ceremonial uniform. After a brief appearance, he walked away disgusted.
During her meeting with Brainiac 5, acting as her Prime Minister, Kara posed a question to him that was on her mind. "How come there aren't any women in your cabinet?" she asked accusingly.
"Women? Most certainly not," Brainiac 5 said.
"Why the fuck not?" Kara asked offended.
"It's not just because there are no suitable candidates, I have found women, in general, are not suited for high office. They become too emotional," Brainiac 5 determined.
"Well...fuck me," Kara realized.
While Kara went horseback riding and hiking in Scotland, Mon went hunting and fishing. Even during the marriage controversy, the two stayed apart from each other both uncertain about it. On the ocean, Mon looked over some of the fish his men were catching. "Too small, throw it back," he said of a small lobster.
Suddenly, the boat exploded with a bomb onboard. Brainiac 5 reached Kara out in the wilderness. "This better be damn important," she said scornfully.
"Prince Mon-El's fishing boat was destroyed via a bomb. He is in the hospital now but the rest of his crew did not survive," Brainiac 5 reported. "The Irish Resistance is taking responsibility for it."
"I'm sick and tired of the excuses being made for the Irish. There is no such thing as political murder, bombing, or violence...unless I do it or someone I delegate does it. This is criminal. I will wage war against the Irish with relentless hellfire until that war is won," Kara declared.
"Well, okay then," Brainiac 5 allowed.
A state funeral took place in London where Mon reluctantly took to the podium to make a prepared speech on his fallen fishermen comrades. Despite Kara's warnings, the Irish Resistance continued to obnoxiously bomb buildings and cars all over England.
In her palace in northern England, Kara was informed by Brainiac 5, acting as her personal secretary, that human hunters had wounded a grand stag but that it had wandered onto royal lands. "Clear the schedule, we must go out there and finish it off," Kara said to Mon who was sitting across from her at the breakfast table.
"Finishing it off should only take a few seconds for either of us," Mon scoffed.
"We're going to do it without our powers with rifles," Kara insisted.
"Well, I certainly cannot allow a woman to take my hunt," Mon said. "I wonder where I will put its head in my collection?" he asked himself as he had an entire room dedicated to his stag kills. After filling that room with heads and antlers, Mon began placing mounted stag heads in other rooms of the house including the breakfast room.
"The kill is mine," Kara said confidently.
"No, mine," Mon shot back.
"Mine," Kara glared.
"Mine," Mon insisted.
As it happened, Mon made the kill and brought it back with Kara. "I let you take the kill," Kara told him afterward.
"Yeah, bullshit. What is this all about? You trying to get into my pants?" Mon asked apprehensively.
"No," Kara denied. "I believe we should have some dates before we get married."
"I thought dates come before sex in courtship?" Mon asked confused.
"Yeah, well, dates can happen at any point in courtship," Kara said blushingly.
"So, this is supposed to be my date to you? What's your date to me?" Mon asked concernedly.
"The opera," Kara revealed.
"Well...shit," Mon frowned.
London, England
During the opera, Kara and Mon were in the high box with Brainiac 5 acting as a chaperone to keep either of them from embarrassing themselves and the empire with their petty behavior. Mon gave Kara a creepy stare the entire time to make her uncomfortable. After the opera, Kara tried to teach Mon the importance of music. "It's about physical intimacy, the music is unification," Kara told him.
"I don't give a shit about some dead foreign human language from over a thousand years ago that is sung incomprehensibly about a silly love tragedy that could have easily been solved with proper communication," Mon told her off.
"How do know all that?" Kara asked suspiciously.
"Barney gave me the script," Mon shrugged.
"I'm going to Zimbabwe and then Scotland for a few days," Kara told him.
"Why would you want to go to Scotland?" Mon wondered.
"Do you want to come with me?" Kara asked hopefully.
"No," Mon said honestly.
"Well...goodnight," Kara said disappointedly and then walked off.
Brainiac 5 assembled his cabinet for a status report on the economy. "As of right now, we control 14 regions and several contested areas in Africa and India. That gives us approximately 20% of the planet's GDP but resources have not been distributed equally. As a consequence, there will need to be a quality of life program cuts in England to compensate," Brainiac 5 informed them.
"This is butchery!" one cabinet official said. "You're trying to move too fast," another said.
"Well, I am in a hurry," Brainiac 5 said calmly.
"Anyone who has studied English productivity would know that we can increase even more productivity with greater resources. We are the most efficient region in the empire. We should be taking the resources from our colonies and bringing them to England. Then, England can trickle-down benefits to the rest of the colonies," another cabinet official said.
"With this policy, there will be social unrest here. It's against everything we stand for," another said.
"Remind me, what do we stand for?" Brainiac 5 wondered.
"We are the Queen's Party. We stand for conservatism, caution, stability, and loyalty to our institutions. This is too rash, too reckless. You will not only turn the country against us but our own party as well. It will turn us, your own colleagues, against you," one warned.
"It is the queen's policy that every region have the same GDP. If England does not assist the other undeveloped regions of the empire, it will be broken up. The quality of life for E-1s must be the same in every region. The days of stark inequality across the world are over," Brainiac 5 informed them.
Kara and Brainiac 5 met at Buckingham Palace after her weekend stay in her castle in Scotland. "How was your holiday?" Brainiac 5 asked already knowing the answer.
"It sucked and I am not sure I ever want to go back," Kara replied. "I don't feel at home there. I don't like the weather, the traditions, and the cruel-looking faces on the people there. So, that said, I want a new cabinet."
"Oh?" Brainiac 5 questioned.
"These old fucks are full of privilege and lack of grit. They're all entitled and everything they say just pisses me off," Kara said scornfully.
"It may be a mistake to assume that simply because one has privilege, they lack grit," Brainiac 5 lectured her. "It's a dangerous game to make enemies, left, right and center."
"Not if one is comfortable with having enemies," Kara replied.
"And, are you?" Brainiac 5 asked.
"Oh...fuck yes," Kara said wide-eyed. "You have no enemies, you say? Alas!, my friend, the boast is poor. He who has mingled in the fray. Of duty, that the brave endures, must have made foes! If you have none, small is the work that you have done. You've hit no traitor on the hip, you've dashed no cup from perjured lip, and you've never turned the wrong to right, you've been a coward in the fight."
At the same time, Nura visited Mon in his wing of the palace. "How are you getting along?" Nura asked cheerfully.
"Just fine," Mon replied as he played a violent video game on his computer.
"You've stumbled upon the perfect one in age, looks, and breeding," Nura said referring to Kara. "Or do you find fault even in perfection?"
"She's undeniably hot but she's also bat-shit crazy. There's an equation for this sort of thing," Mon said and then turned his laptop around to show Kara's hot/insane graph. "I wish I had more time."
"What for?" Nura asked curiously.
"I don't feel I know her well enough," Mon admitted.
"There will be time for that," Nura said brightly.
"That's what everyone says, just get on with it," Mon said bitterly.
"I concur," Nura replied.
"You don't understand. In Insane culture, a man allows the woman he loves to defeat him in combat. He allows his own defeat and humiliation for love. That makes it powerful and creates a strong bond. With Kara, she was the stronger one and she beat the shit out of me," Mon said.
"In the history of the Insane, has no female ever defeated a male because they were truly stronger?" Nura asked.
"With the exception of my own mother, I've never recalled such a thing," Mon replied.
"You've already reproduced with her and the Insane are known for marrying more than once. Just do it, already," Nura encouraged. "I had a dream of your wedding night. Let's just say...interesting," Nura teased.
Mon cracked a smile. "It will be soon."
"Don't fight it. It will be perfect," Nura said. "It's written in the stars."
Eventually, after being pressured by multiple sources including Kara, herself, Mon proposed to her in the nursery room of all places at Windsor Castle. "So, yeah," he said giving her a ring. Kara looked over the ring that resembled a Lantern ring but was white with an entirely new symbol. The ring was platinum, covered in white gold, and underneath the symbol was a cluster of several shining diamonds.
"What is this?" she asked amazed.
"A White Lantern ring," he said simply.
"But there is no White Lantern Corps," Kara said confused.
"Not yet. You're going to make it, one day, with your own power. It will be the emotion of joy because there's so much joy deep within you, the joy you desire to give to all those around you," Mon told her.
"It's beautiful," Kara said impressed.
"I know my behavior can be a little erratic sometimes," Mon said wide-eyed. "But you've been a good sport."
"Is that all?" Kara asked curiously.
"You want more?" Mon asked incredulously.
"How about you get on a knee when you give me this ring?" Kara suggested.
"Fuck that. I kneel to no one," Mon refused.
Kara gritted her teeth in annoyance at his behavior and the setting he had chosen for this but kept her cool. "I accept."
Not long afterward, Kara and Mon appeared before the press for a joint interview. "Can you tell us how you two first met?"
"After committing mass genocide against a Kryptonian colony, he stole one of our pods and found his way on Earth where I discovered him. I watched over him for several days and then finally he woke up. I knew it was love at first sight when he woke up and tried to choke me to death," Kara recalled.
"What was it about her that made an impression on you?"
"Well, she's far from being original. She's, after all, a female knock-off of the real thing. But she is lots of fun..., especially in the bedroom," Mon replied.
"What can you tell us about the wedding?"
"It will be soon before the years' end. We're...delighted," Mon said with false sincerity.
"So...are you two in love?"
"Oh, yes, absolutely," Kara confirmed.
"Whatever in love means," Mon scoffed.
Kara mouthed "What the fuck?" but kept her cool in front of the cameras as Mon smirked at everyone.
Mon proceeded to go on a diplomatic trip to Titan where he had friendly conversations with Imra. As the wedding date got closer, Kara became more and more anxious. "Have you read my new report on the Irish situation?" Brainiac 5 asked her in Buckingham Palace.
"I have to hurl!" Kara said freaked out and threw up in the bathroom.
Kara then returned but changed the subject. "Where the fuck is Mon? I must speak to him as soon as possible."
"He's unavailable," Brainiac 5 replied.
"Why is he unavailable? Did he tell you you to say that?" Kara asked paranoid.
"He's unavailable because he's on a shuttle," Brainiac 5 said simply.
"He has instant transmission," Kara pointed out.
"He felt it wiser to spend more time with Imra on the shuttle so they can get to know each other better," Brainiac 5 said.
"That cheating bastard!" Kara raged. "What the fuck is this?" she asked accusingly, handing him a drawing.
"A crude drawing of a bracelet," Brainiac 5 determined.
"No shit. It has the initials 'I' and 'A' on it," Kara pointed out.
Pissed off, Kara went into a rant while tossing flower bouquets about the room. "A faker! A phony! An utter FRAUD! A base, deceitful...,"
"Kara," Brainiac 5 interrupted. "You don't really care whether Mon is having an affair with Imra. You simply wish to use it as an excuse."
"All my life, I was taught the Insane were a savage race, our enemies. Now...I'm fucking marrying one. What the fuck is wrong with me?" Kara wondered.
"You have always gone against Kryptonian conventions. Why stop now?" Brainiac 5 asked rhetorically.
Mon eventually arrived on Earth and came by the cathedral in London for wedding rehearsals. "I saw the bracelets. What the fuck, Mon? If you're going to cheat on me, can you be a little more clever about it? This is an insult to my Kryptonian intelligence," she raged at him.
"Okay, you're being a crazy bitch and making assumptions as per usual," Mon evaded. "I made the bracelet for her as a diplomatic gesture, a souvenir."
"You're so full of shit," Kara doubted. "Why did you take a shuttle with her when you could have instantly transported yourself and her entire diplomatic team over here?"
"The Titans are actually skittish about that. They think, with good reason, they'll end up as atoms spread out all over the galaxy if I do it wrong," Mon replied.
"You slept with her, didn't you?" Kara accused.
"We all slept together...on the shuttle," Mon said vaguely.
"You're not even bothering to defend yourself," Kara said pissed off.
"An Insane Prince doesn't need to do so. You should be proud of how many notches I've made," Mon said pleased with himself.
"Proud, huh?" Kara asked shaking her head.
"That's right. It means your husband-to-be is a desirable specimen to women all over the galaxy. Every time I score, it brings credit upon myself and you," Mon said arrogantly.
"You have any idea how offensive that sounds to me?" Kara asked crossly.
"Yes, let's do it your way where people are mated off by a fucking machine based on some algorithm that no one knows how the fuck it works," Mon said derisively.
"This is Earth. We follow human customs now," Kara demanded.
"Human customs from a thousand years ago you're now imposing today. Please," Mon scoffed.
"Loyalty, respect, and honor require that you be faithful to me and me alone," Kara demanded.
"If you had any loyalty, respect, and honor towards me, you would give me the latitude to conquer as many females as possible to boost my already outstanding reputation," Mon shot back.
"Does that same logic apply to me?" Kara asked.
"You can fuck as many women as you want...with or without me watching," Mon allowed.
"Don't fuck with me. You know what I mean," Kara glared.
"No, the logic doesn't work out the same way. A key that can open any lock is a master key, a lock that will open for any key is a shitty lock," Mon reasoned.
"The fuck?" Kara asked enraged.
"It's science," Mon said confidently.
"I'll slaughter any female you score with. I don't care if it starts a galactic war," Kara said furiously.
"And I don't give a fuck," Mon said unconcernedly.
"Shall we begin?" Brainiac 5 interrupted.
"Yes, yes," Mon said as he made his way over to the altar.
The next morning, a composed Kara met with Brainiac 5, acting as her prime minister. "Barney, you promised me you would get this house in order. Now, we're at an unemployment rate of 13%, rioting, and civil unrest in several major cities," Kara pointed out.
"It's true," Brainiac 5 replied.
There was a long awkward silence between them. "And?" Kara spat.
"This isn't a magical system where you push a few buttons and turn a few knobs and everything will be perfect," Brainiac 5 said condescendingly.
"Why not, you bastard?" Kara yelled.
"You have made it a priority that every citizen of your empire be provided with food, shelter, utilities, clothing, health care, and other supplies regardless of whether they work or provide any actual positive input into the system. That has made the entire system inefficient," Brainiac 5 said.
"And what's the right answer?" Kara asked skeptically.
"We orientate all resources and labor towards drone production. Within a few years, drones will outnumber the human population. We can have a sustainable economic model with three drones providing for each human," Brainiac 5 said.
"If we do that, people will die. The very workers building your drones will die along with their families," Kara pointed out.
"It would be a short-term loss for a long-term gain," Brainiac 5 said coldly.
"You know I can't do that," Kara said frustrated while drinking a glass of whiskey.
"The human labor that went into producing that whiskey could have been used to build more drones," Brainiac 5 lectured.
Kara put her glass down. "You expect me to turn this world into a hell-hole where people can't even live?"
"For a few years, yes," Brainiac 5 replied.
"Even if that utopia comes to pass with millions dying of starvation and exposure, I would be hated for generations and my soul would be lost. You are to balance the welfare of our citizens with your drone production," Kara ordered.
"As you wish," Brainiac 5 shrugged.
"Where the fuck is Mon? We have wedding preparations," Kara asked.
"He's drag racing in Algeria," Brainiac 5 replied.
Kara eventually got a hold of Mon still in Algeria racing around in the sand dunes. "I will remind you, Mon, it's not just your future wife you're ignoring, it's your QUEEN!" Kara raged at him via her phone. Mon didn't reply but heard Mon's racing car in the background. "Mon! Mon!" she shouted.
"I'm sorry. I can't hear you over all the fun I'm having with Irma," Mon replied back. Imra was having a blast in the passenger seat of the racing car.
"Your attempt to make me jealous...is pathetic!" Kara yelled at him and then hung up.
Kara then calmed down and had a meeting with Brainiac 5. "The truth is, I don't know what the fuck is wrong with him. I asked him to oversee the gardening of this place. Instead, he locked himself in his room watching endless hours of television. He's so incurious. I tried to teach him Shakespeare, poetry, and expand his horizons but he shows no interest. He just talks endlessly about training and fighting," Kara said peeved.
"Perhaps that's what he likes," Brainiac 5 said obviously. "Perhaps this isn't the part of the empire that suits him."
"I am marrying beneath my station. I am smarter, more intelligent, and more powerful than he is," Kara said scornfully.
"You two are complementary. He has instant transmission, which you do not have, and he has no weaknesses. He also has no hesitation or moral qualms to destroy what you need to destroy. Of course, if that's not enough for you, I am always available," Brainiac 5 offered.
Kara gave him a long stare as the thought had occurred to her.
In her bedroom at Buckingham Palace, Kara awoke upon noticing a presence in her room. "It is way too early," she grumbled. An intruder wearing cheap stained clothes drew back the curtains to bring more light into the room. He had found a way to get through palace security and make his way into Kara's bed chambers. He then sat nonchalantly on Kara's bed.
"Who the fuck are you?" Kara asked startled upon seeing him.
"My name is Michael," he introduced himself.
"The fuck you doing in my room?" Kara demanded. "What do you want? Resources?"
"I don't want anything. I just want to talk to you, to tell you what's going on in the country cuz either you don't know or you don't care," he said.
"Of course, I know...and care," Kara said awkwardly. "Now, get the fuck out before I destroy you."
"Just wait a moment for me to sort myself out and then I'll go," he said. "I just thought it would be good for you to talk to someone normal who can tell it to you how it is."
"I meet normal people all the time," Kara said defensively.
"No, you don't. Everyone you meet is on their best behavior. That's not normal," he pointed out.
"And this is normal?" Kara scoffed.
"It could be...if I ever calm down," he said.
"You're bleeding. Fix yourself in the bathroom," Kara ordered. As Michael left to clean himself up, Kara got out of bed wearing a white nightgown with the House of El crest on her chest.
"The richest woman in the world but it's not even electric," he remarked on her toothbrush.
"I'm humble like that," Kara replied.
"This place is run-down. The corridors and staterooms, shocking. Cheap paint with stains," he chided.
"Is that what you do?" Kara asked intrigued.
"Painter decorator. You should hire me," he said dryly.
"You asking for a job after intruding like this? What the fuck is wrong with you?" Kara asked.
"I've tried everything else. I've written letters for what good that did for me. So, I've come to you, head of state, someone who can actually do something," he beseeched her.
"What do you want me to do?" Kara asked curiously.
"Save us all from your robot prime minister. He's destroying the country. Millions are unemployed across the empire, doesn't that bother you?" he asked.
"I have to rely on Prime Minister Dox. He runs the entire economy. Not even I can make the calculations he can. Do you have any idea how much processing power it takes to allocate resources efficiently across the empire?" Kara asked him.
"I was a painter-decorator. That was my trade. Now, I can only get a job doing that if Dox opens a position for it, which he hasn't. And there's no money now so I can't get hired by anyone other than Dox. If I do get a job, it will be working in the factory," he complained bitterly. "They say I have mental health problems. I don't. I'm just poor."
"You don't even have to work to be provided for," Kara pointed out.
"Dox is lowering our resource quotas and sending them overseas. People of my rank are barely surviving. The only way to even get by is to promote to the next rank which is near impossible for people like me that are old, frail, ill. And so much of the empire's resources are being spent on unnecessary wars of conquest," Michael said.
"Is there anything else you wish to say to me?" Kara asked sincerely.
"No, thank you," he said appreciatively.
"The next few years are going to be difficult for this planet. People like you will be shuffled around occupations you're ill-suited for. You will work hard and long hours for very little. Or you'll not work at all and receive even less. But if Dox had his way, he would give you even less even if it meant starvation and death for so many. It is I that is keeping him from doing that, and I'm not always sure I'm right in this case. But after this planet has been unified under one economy, people like you will have the opportunity to work whatever trade you wish and you will all be as rich as I am today," Kara promised.
"Okay," he nodded reassured.
Kara narrowed her eyes at him. "You have broken into my palace. You have violated the sanctity of my bedchamber. For this, I should crush your bones into powder. However, you did pose a very interesting conversation for me: therefore, heads, I accept you as my new painter-decorator, and tails, I blow your damned head off," Kara said as she flipped her ceremonial Indian coin.
"Holy shit," Michael said spooked.
Kara revealed the coin as heads. "Thank God," he said gratefully.
"I'll create a slot, especially for you. Your rank will be the same but, at least, you'll be doing a job you're suited for," Kara told him. "Don't be telling anyone else to break into my palace. I'll incinerate them before they can speak a word," she warned.
"Thank you, Your Majesty," he knelt before her and then left the room.
Kara smirked as she put the double-headed coin on her desk.
During their meeting, Kara chewed out Brainiac 5 for the security lapse. "The opposition in Parliament is making a big deal out of this even though he secretly wants me dead," Kara said peeved.
"Apologies, this is a national embarrassment," Brainiac 5 said half-heartedly. "Was it really necessary to give him a job? That will encourage others to do the same."
"What could I do? I flipped a coin on it," Kara evaded. "What's up with all this unemployment? You're lowering the resource allocation for all enlisted-1 ranks to lower than survival."
"I would dispute that. There is much greater poverty in the rest of the world including territories in your empire. The English quality of life is far superior to that of our territories in Africa and India," Brainiac 5 said.
"Perhaps we're going too fast," Kara considered.
"We have control of only 20% of the world economy at best. The black market economy continues to exist even in our own territories. How long are you willing to wait to unify the planet? I'll remind you that the longer we take to unify the planet, the longer it will be to join the galactic community. Of course, if you allowed a certain Insane Prince to conquer alien worlds to give us millions in slave labor, we could accomplish your goal very quickly," Brainiac 5 suggested.
"I would have the same reputation as Darkseid for all eternity," Kara refused. "I have a sense you have an ulterior motive, Barney."
"Which is?" Brainiac 5 asked.
"By keeping the people poor, they become more religious. They're sharing resources with each other. They're becoming more dependent on the church," Kara noticed.
"I am teaching the people the virtues of collective duty," Brainiac 5 allowed. "Now, we must go."
"Where?" Kara asked confused.
"The Victory Parade. We have won the American Rebellion," Brainiac 5 reminded her.
Sydney, Australia
Shortly thereafter, Kara went to Australia to shore up support there among a skeptical population. The current prime minister, Robert Hawk, was generally an asshole and tough for Kara to deal with. Before her arrival, he did a television interview. "As your first public act as prime minister, you are to welcome the young Queen Kara to Australia. Does that prospect fill you with enthusiasm?" the news host asked.
"Fuck no, I have more important things to do. I'd rather conduct a census on kangaroos than host her pretentious ass," Hawk replied. "But yes, she is coming. I've had the opportunity to meet with Kara on a number of occasions. She is quite attractive."
"Is she the kind of woman you'd like to have as Queen of Australia?" the news host pressed.
"I don't think we'll be talking about kings, queens, elves, dragons, and dwarves in Australia for much longer," he joked. "We've passed that, quite frankly. We're a bit more mature. That's a New Zealand thing," Hawk said. "I respect the queen immeasurably but we need a head of state that looks and sounds like us. As opposed to an alien with bright blond hair, blue eyes, pale complexion, and obvious secondary sexual characteristics, things we've done away with for a long time here in Australia."
"For all her good intentions, she lives on the other side of the world and is a different breed," Hawk continued. "You wouldn't put a pig in charge of sheep, would you? Even a pig with lipstick and pearls."
London, England
Kara watched the television broadcast noticeably pissed off. "I will murder that son of a bitch!" she spat.
"He's the new Australian Prime Minister appointed by your regional governor appointed by you. He's a former trade unionist negotiator and anti-monarchist. He also holds the record for beer drinking," Brainiac 5 informed her.
"Impressive," Kara said changing her tone.
"FYI, the wedding is within two weeks before the first Christmas," Brainiac 5 reminded her.
"I have to hurl," Kara said freaking out and running off.
While Kara went to Australia, Mon entertained Imra at one of the mansions. After a decent hunt with a platoon of horse riders and hounds, Mon took down the elusive fox. Afterward, he told a really inappropriate joke to his guests. Imra joined in having read his mind of the joke earlier. "So, there's this bear in the forest. The hunter aims and fires at it but the bear disappears. The hunter thinks he's got him but the bear taps him on the shoulder and says...," Mon began.
"He tells the hunter that if he doesn't drop his pants and let him rape his ass, he'll devour him," Imra said.
"So, bear rapes the shit out of this hunter. Then, the hunter hobbles back into town only to go back out into the forest again to hunt for that bear," Mon said.
"He shoots at the bear again but he disappears again, nowhere to be seen," Imra continued.
"But then the bear appears behind him and taps him on the shoulder and he tells him...," Mon said.
"You know what to do," Imra finished for him.
"The hunter then comes back the next day with a bazooka and fires. When the smoke clears...," Mon said.
"The bear is standing over him. And the bear says...," Imra smiled.
"You're not here for the hunting, are you?" Mon laughed.
The crowd around them laughed and chuckled at the joke. A Brainiac 5 drone then informed Mon his presence was required in Australia. "Well...shit," he realized.
Mon reluctantly boarded the shuttle to take off to Australia. Inside the shuttle was Kara and the twins nobody was supposed to know about. "Why the fuck are we taking a shuttle? We can fly," Mon pointed out.
"It's for the babies," Kara said obviously.
"Your schedule is all the major cities of Australia and then to New Zealand all within the week," Brainiac 5 told them.
"Moving around so much? Is that really stable?" Kara asked concernedly.
"Why are the babies here?" Mon asked annoyed as they cried in the back.
"I made myself perfectly clear, no babies, no me," Kara said scornfully.
"The plan calls for the twins to be in drone custody at a sheep's station so the two of you can conduct your diplomatic meetings and outings," Brainiac 5 said.
"The fuck? Whose idea was this?" Kara demanded.
"Obviously mine," Brainiac 5 replied.
"Do you have any children?" Kara asked.
"No," Brainiac 5 said patiently.
"That explains a lot. Come with me," Kara ordered and brought Brainiac 5 into the nursery section of the shuttle. "What do you see?"
"His and Her Royal Highness, Prince Kon-El and Princess Mara-El," he replied.
"Look past the titles. What do you see?" Kara demanded.
"Two infant Kryptonian/Jin-Saiyan hybrids, a male and a female," Brainiac 5 replied.
"A baby boy and a baby girl," Kara corrected.
"Well, okay then," Brainiac 5 allowed.
"And do they look ugly or beautiful?" Kara demanded.
"I'm not really the person to be making subjective judgments on appearances...," Brainiac 5 evaded.
"Answer the damn question," Kara insisted.
"I'm busy. Is there a point to this?" Brainiac 5 asked.
"My point is that these children are perfect in every single way so why should I not be with them this entire tour?" Kara asked.
"You listen to yourself? You barely spend any time with your offspring. I have a record of your so-called motherly visits," Brainiac 5 said. "You are the Queen of this world. That is what you signed up for. You have a duty to your people now."
"I want to show off these babies to the public to gain sympathy and political power from their appearances," Kara said.
"Out of the question. As of right now, they're illegitimate until you're married. They're not even supposed to exist," Brainiac 5 objected.
"Fine," Kara backed down.
Brainiac 5 went back to Mon to discuss the schedule. Mon smirked amused by the little clash. "So...tell me about this New Zealand. I hear there are wizards there."
Sydney, Australia
Upon arriving, it was now raining. "Well...shit," Mon said displeased as he walked out. With the twins taken away via the shuttle to an undisclosed location, Kara and Mon continued with their tour. They immediately had a press corps meeting inside. "What are you looking forward to on this tour?" one reporter asked.
"Oh, a dancing performance, river cruises, surfing, resorts...," Kara said and then continued to list off more elitist activities.
"And what of the cost in resources of this tour while most of the empire is still in deep poverty?" another reporter asked.
"That's...not really my department," Kara evaded.
"She knows a lot about glamorous balls," Mon joked earning a dirty look from Kara.
Despite the political establishment and the press hating Kara, the common people celebrated the queen's tour wherever she went with enthusiastically large crowds. While on the roads, Kara and Mon waved to the crowds along the entire route. Kara and Mon made their way over to Ayers Rock where they climbed to the top effortlessly despite the heat. With no warning, Mon instantly teleported to the top beating Kara to the top. Kara gave him a pissed-off look at the stunt.
In the hotel room, Kara projected her rage on Brainiac 5 under false pretenses of being concerned for her twins. "I want to be with them now!" she yelled at him.
"The tour comes first," he said patiently.
"This is all intolerable!" Kara yelled.
"What's intolerable?" Mon wondered.
"I wouldn't expect you to understand," Kara told him off.
"Well...fuck me," Mon turned away.
"I need you to tell me where my twins are," Kara said to Brainiac 5.
"They're in an undisclosed location in a lead-lined facility. You'll be allowed to see them after the end of the tour," Brainiac 5 said.
"You bastard!" Kara shouted enraged. "I will turn this entire continent's surface to glass!"
"Let's go," Mon said reluctantly, able to sense the twins' ki signature.