In San Francisco, Mon occasionally gave lectures to crowds on how to be a proper Insane man. "Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you, Prince Mon-El!" the announcer introduced.
Mon walked onto the stage in his ceremonial Insane uniform as the band played. People of all ages came to see him give talks and displays of his power. "Thank you, you are too kind," Mon smirked while holding a plasma rifle in his hand. "This, ladies and gents, is the gun that is winning the East: phased plasma rifle in the 40-watt range."
"Many a time I've found myself surrounded by a swarm of angry hostiles with nothing but this rifle between me and being slightly inconvenienced. And let me tell you, folks, the East Indian is a fearsome enemy. And if he'd had his way, I'd be forced to endure his cuisine buffet," Mon said to the chuckles of the crowd.
"Those poor British bastards out there, their bodies stripped bare, mutilated, left to rot in the hot sun," Mon said softly lost in his thoughts. "This, ladies and gentlemen, has a seven-shot capacity. Accurate 400 meters, one bolt per second," he detailed. "Son, do you have any idea what this will do to a man?" he asked an audience member.
The boy merely shook his head. "This will blow a hole through a man six inches wide. This beauty, you can kill five, six, or seven men without ever having to reload. Note the smooth cock...," Mon said and then forgot his lines. "Cocking action," he finished.
Mon then fired the rifle at various objects in the fairground with perfect accuracy freaking out the crowd. "You all have a quota when it comes to self-defense weaponry. Order wisely," Mon said to the crowd and then walked off like a boss with the rifle.
Mon then entered an expensive restaurant fashionably late and met up with Kara and Brainiac 5. "Been a while, nice to see you," Kara said dryly. "Sith down," Kara ordered as Mon remained standing next to the table.
Mon obliged Kara and sat down at the table. "Now, Japan has in mind to become a civilized country, and I am willing to do what it takes to transition Japan into the Brainiac system. And if we play our cards right, the emperor will give the Christian Church exclusive access to converting the people," Kara said ambitiously.
"Well, I have an agreement with Nor-Cal. I'm certain you have some concept of what an agreement is," Mon said condescendingly.
"You train 25,000 troops a week in Nor-Cal. We will give you the opportunity to train 400,000 Japanese troops a month," Brainiac 5 offered.
Mon attempted to do the math on that one and then gave up. "Five hundred thousand troops," he said finally.
"You're being rude," Kara scolded.
"Whiskey," Mon ordered a waiter.
"Who will Mon's boys be fighting?" Kara asked Brainiac 5.
"His name is Katsumoto Moritsugu. He was once the emperor's teacher," Brainiac 5 said. "He is samurai."
"Well, we have a lot of experience dealing with renegades," Kara said confidently.
"Do we?" Mon mocked.
"I've even written a book on it," Kara said proudly. "Our study of the tribes was a crucial factor in our defeat over the East Indians."
Mon started chuckling and then laughed hysterically. "What is so funny?" Brainiac 5 asked.
"The trio back together again like this...it's just so...inspiring," Mon said and continued laughing. Mon finished his drink and got up. "Excuse me. I have to take a piss," he said and then walked off.
"Such an asshole," Kara rolled her eyes.
"Is he going to be a problem?" Brainiac 5 asked concernedly.
"I'll just talk to him," Kara downplayed.
"As queen, you are Mon-El's superior officer. The Japanese were given assurances of Mon's participation," Brainiac 5 reminded her.
"He'll do it. Just give me a minute," Kara said walking off to get him. Kara barged into the men's restroom to talk to Mon. "What the fuck is your problem?"
"You want me to kill Japs, I'll kill Japs," Mon said condescendingly.
"I'm not asking you to kill anyone," Kara said uncomfortably.
"You want me to kill their enemies, I'll kill them, too. Confederate rebels, East Indians, Mexicans...I'll kill whoever you want," Mon said cynically.
"So, we good?" Kara asked impatiently.
"Yeah," Mon nodded.
Tokyo
Mon arrived in Tokyo and was briefed on the situation by Brainiac 5. The city, once one of the largest cities on the planet, was in ruins from the nuclear war. Its population had greatly been depleted. It now appeared as an old fishing town. Upon Mon's insistence, the two of them were carried on a cart pulled by two Japanese men.
"The emperor is mad for all things Western, and the samurai believe it is changing too fast. The ancient and the modern are at war for the soul of Japan," Brainiac 5 said.
Mon eyed TV stores showing odd game shows, vending machines with panties, prostitution brothels but only for cuddling, random sumo wrestlers walking about, a large Godzilla statue, a pet shop full of bunnies, and non-stop Kawaii stores everywhere. "I have taken the liberty of reassigning lawyers from France, engineers from Germany, architects from Holland, and warriors from America to begin reconstruction of Japan."
Mon ignored Brainiac 5 for the most part and got off his cart. He went about the streets inspecting the people and the stores. He entered an arms store only to find all the rifles colored pink with Hello Kitty stickers all over them. He entered an arcade center where dozens of people played for endless hours playing with balls. As he went out, he noticed a few animal mascots walking down the streets. He also noticed women dressed as maids outside restaurants. Going over to a food market, he grabbed a square-shaped watermelon. Upon encountering this, Mon finally broke.
"What...the...fuck?" he wondered.
"We have a meeting with the emperor," Brainiac 5 reminded him.
"I hold him responsible for all this," Mon said darkly.
"You want beer?!" someone asked him.
"Holy shit, yes," Mon said immediately and then proceeded to drink his beer as he walked up the sacred stairs of the emperor's palace. Kara met up with them both and noticed Mon's beer.
"You better get rid of that before we get to the top," she ordered.
Mon took his sweet time taking one slow step after another all the way to the top as he enjoyed his beer. "You have to realize what an absolute honor this is. You may look at him but do not speak to him unless spoken to. If he stands, you must bow. If he bows, you must bow lower," Brainiac 5 said as they went up the steps.
"Yeah, hard pass," Mon refused.
"Mon, just do it. It's important we annex Japan without bloodshed," Kara told him.
As they got to the top, Mon tossed his empty beer glass into the emperor's garden and proceeded inside. Upon arriving inside the emperor's throne room, Kara and Brainiac 5 bowed respectfully while Mon remained standing. They then marched forward and then two of the three of them bowed. The emperor remained in his tent shrouded in shadows.
"I am most interested in the American Indians of the 21st century. Have you fought them in battle?" the emperor asked.
"We have, Your Highness. The redman is a brutal adversary in drinking contests," Kara replied.
"Prince Mon-El, is it true they wear helmets and paint their faces red before going into battle and that they have no fear?" the emperor asked.
"Yes, the Redskins are very brave. May they never be forgotten," Mon confirmed.
"Thank you very much," the emperor said softly concluding the meeting.
Kara, Mon, and Brainiac 5 then stepped back, two of the three bowed and then left the room.
Mon then went to work to train Japanese soldiers. "They are conscripts, mostly peasants who have never shot a weapon before," Brainiac 5 informed Mon.
"Well...shit," Mon sighed.
"This is General Hasegawa," Brainiac 5 introduced.
"Who the fuck is this Kat, this samurai?" Mon asked Gen. Hasegawa.
"They're pissed off that their culture has become full of men who would rather watch tentacle porn and have sex with robots than real women," Gen. Hasegawa explained.
"Can't say that I blame him," Mon said sympathetically. "Who supplies their weapons?"
"Before the rebellion, they acquired a large stockpile of armor and weapons. They occasionally steal weapons from supply trains," Gen. Hasegawa answered.
"Oh yeah? How do you know you're not telling me bullshit?" Mon asked accusingly.
"Katsumoto and I fought together in the service of the emperor. I am samurai," he replied.
"No shit," Mon said impressed. "I need to know their tactics."
"The literature is available," Brainiac 5 said, handing him a datapad.
"Fuck me," Mon sighed as he realized how much he needed to read.
"What is your philosophy towards the enemy?" Gen. Hasegawa asked.
"In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him. I think it's impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves," Mon said eloquently.
"You sound very forgiving and peaceful," Gen. Hasegawa noted.
"And then, in that very moment when I love them... I destroy them," Mon concluded.
Mon oversaw Japanese soldiers firing plasma rifles. Most of them missed a target that was 10 meters away. "God damn," Mon said dumbfounded. Mon went to a random recruit to train him, personally. "Butt to shoulder," he instructed.
Mon frowned as the private was doing it wrong. "Not your battle buddy's butt, the rifle butt," he clarified. "Eye, down the sight. Now, slowly." The Japanese soldier fired right on target.
"Mon!" Kara interrupted. "Mon!"
Mon finally turned to her. "What is it now?" he asked annoyed.
"Katsumoto attacked a railroad at the border of his province," Kara informed him.
"So?" Mon wondered.
"This country can't be governed if supplies cannot be transported freely. He must be stopped now. The railroad is a priority," Kara said.
"They're not ready," Mon shrugged.
"You have superior firepower in yourself and larger numbers. I am ordering you to move the regiment against Katsumoto. You will track him down, engage him, and kill his ass," Kara ordered.
Mon ignored her and then turned to a random Japanese soldier. "Load," he ordered him. Mon then stood in front of him. "Fire at me," he ordered. Mon's palm then glowed with energy. "Fire at me or I will kill you."
The Japanese soldier refused to do so. Mon fired his hat off. "Fire!" Mon shouted at him. Mon fired a few more warning shots at the soldier. Finally, the soldier fired his rifle missing Mon completely from ten meters away. "Holy fuck," Mon said dismayed, and then walked up to Kara.
"You think that little stunt was persuasive? What if just that one man was a fuck-up and the rest are cold-blooded killers ready to rape and pillage the enemy? What if the only reason he shot poorly was that he feared firing on a superior officer that could incinerate him? All you have proven here is that you're an asshole with a fatalist complex," Kara scolded.
"They're not ready. I've only trained them for two fucking days," Mon reminded her.
"I don't give a shit. They're dangerous enough in large numbers. They just need to shoot in the same direction. And there is absolutely no reason why you can't destroy the samurai all on your own. If you come back defeated, I blame you and you alone," Kara said impatiently. "The regiment leaves at 6 a.m!" she shouted.
"Damn, that's early," some of the soldiers muttered.
Mon led his regiment toward the railroad baiting Katsumoto to attack. "How do you intend to find Katsumoto?" Brainiac 5 asked Mon.
"Don't worry, Barney. I assure you, he will find us," Mon said confidently.
In the Yoshino province, Mon set up camp in the middle of the woods. Mon sensed a mass of humans approaching them. "Form up! Load!" he ordered his men. The Japanese soldiers prepared for battle in lines as the samurai came closer. In the fog and in the thick woods, the samurai would have the advantage. Still, Mon knew Katsumoto wouldn't attack otherwise unless conditions were ideal for him.
"samurai, come," a nervous captain said to Mon.
"Yeah...you're probably fucked," Mon figured. Mon then spotted the samurai approaching. "Assume firing position!" he ordered. "Fire on my order only!"
The timid soldiers fired on the samurai anyway. "Fuck it," Mon rolled his eyes. The soldiers fired randomly without any kind of strategy. The samurai ignited lightsaber swords and charged the soldiers on horseback. The samurai deflected laser bolts fired at them with their swords and kept coming. The soldiers freaked out and retreated back in a disorganized manner. The samurai slammed into the soldier lines and began slaughtering the bunch. Mon stopped giving commands and started to engage the samurai on his own. He killed one samurai and took his lightsaber.
Katsumoto arrived from the rear and witnessed Mon take down several samurai warriors. One samurai sliced into Mon's shoulder managing to injure him. Another stuck a lightsaber in Mon's hip. Still, Mon fought on totally surrounded by samurai warriors. In front of Katsumoto, Mon went Super Insane with a blinding light. Katsumoto could only stare at him, that blood hair, blue eyes, pale complexion. It was as if he was seeing a god.
"He's mine," a samurai in red armor said as he approached.
Mon blocked his sword and then sliced him in the neck killing him. "Who's next?" Mon asked them.
"Stop!" Katsumoto ordered his men. Katsumoto then came up to Mon. "God of War, we would be honored if you were our guest."
Mon powered down. "Sure."
Soon thereafter, Katsumoto had Gen. Hasegawa's head cut off in a ritual execution.
On horseback, Katsumoto led his samurai back to his village. The townspeople bowed respectfully as Katsumoto's army passed by. "What is your name?" Katsumoto requested of Mon.
"Prince of all Insane, Mon-El," Mon replied.
"You are to stay here as my guest," Katsumoto ordered.
"Only if I get to stay at your sister's house," Mon allowed.
"Jolly good," Katsumoto agreed.
Katsumoto's sister was named Taka and she reluctantly allowed Mon to stay in her house. For the most part, Taka and her two sons ignored Mon and did not speak to him. "Sake," Mon requested of them.
He was given a bottle which he immediately drank down. "I need more...sake," he demanded.
At some point, Taka ignored his requests. "Please, sake," Mon asked of her. In the middle of the night, Mon shouted "Sake!" obnoxiously and then screamed occasionally as he had night terrors.
One particular morning, Mon decided to take a tour of the village. As he did, an elderly samurai followed him wherever he went. Mon eyed the samurai's swordplay and martial arts approvingly. Upon arriving back in the house, Mon walked around making muddy footprints on the floor like a total asshole. He noticed the red armor of one of the samurai he had killed was displayed in one of the rooms. Not putting two and two together, Mon decided to give his guard a good hike.
"You angry? You angry because they put you in a dress?" Mon mocked his guard.
Mon then went to an ancestral temple and found Katsumoto praying. "This temple was built a thousand years ago by my family," he said to Mon.
"What do you want from me?" Mon asked curiously.
"To know my enemy," Katsumoto said reasonably.
"If that were the case, you shouldn't have cut off the heads of your enemies," Mon rebuked.
"Warriors on your planet do not kill?" Katsumoto asked mockingly.
"Of course, we do. I was just pointing out the inconsistency of your honor-based system and intelligence gathering," Mon pointed out.
"General Hasegawa asked me to help end this life. A samurai cannot stand the shame of defeat. I was honored to cut off his head," Katsumoto explained.
"Fair enough," Mon allowed. "However, in Insane culture, we only become stronger after every defeat, every mortal injury. If I died of shame upon my first defeat, I would never grow past age two."
"Many of our customs seem queer to you. The same is true of yours," Katsumoto noted.
"In time, everyone will be as queer as me. Wait...that came out wrong," Mon admitted.
"I have enjoyed this conversation," Katsumoto smiled and then left.
"I have questions," Mon objected.
"Questions come later," Katsumoto said dismissively.
"Who was the warrior in the red armor?" Mon questioned.
"My brother-in-law, Hirotaro. The woman that cares for you is my sister, Hirotaro's wife. Her name is Taka," Katsumoto replied.
"I killed her husband," Mon realized.
"It was a good death," Katsumoto said and then walked off.
Mon went back to the house, took his muddy boots off, and entered. He smirked positively impressed. Katsumoto requiring his grieving recently widowed sister to care for an enemy POW, the same POW that personally killed her husband, was fucking savage. "Come," Katsumoto's son, Nob, invited him to dinner.
Mon reluctantly agreed, noting the awkwardness in the room. "Sake?" he wondered.
"He smells like pigs. Tell my brother I cannot stand this," Taka said to Nob in front of Mon.
"Why don't you tell him?" Nob deflected.
"At least give him a bath," Taka protested.
Mon ignored their banter. "Let me see your war face," he demanded of the youngest son. The young boy opened his mouth wide and gave him a silent scream until his mother told him to knock it off.
"How about you two fight for the honor of heir?" Mon suggested.
The two boys ran off with wooden swords to fight it out. The older son easily disarmed and defeated the younger son. Mon casually picked up one of their wooden swords. "Nicely done," Mon approved. "You ready to avenge your father's death?"
The older boy immediately attacked Mon with a telegraphed swing. Mon easily deflected all of the boy's attacks. Mon lightly swat the boy to the midsection and disarmed him. The boy got back up and retrieved his sword. Mon stunned the boy with a light hit to the face and then took him to the ground. Still, the boy came back up. Mon engaged the boy with combination swings easily dropping the boy again.
"Shall I teach you the difference between you and me? It's like the fable of the monkey and the moon. However close he thinks he is to capturing the moon, it's still just a reflection on the water. When he tries to capture the moon, all he does is sink like a fool. Your sword will never reach me for all eternity," Mon said to the boy.
Still, the boy rose up with his sword. Mon took hold of the sword but then let the boy go amused and positively impressed.
The next day, Mon talked shit to his guide the entire way to the temple and then met with Katsumoto. "You are instructing my nephew in the way of the sword?" Katsumoto asked casually.
"Yes, indeed," Mon confirmed.
"You fought against the red Indian?" Katsumoto assumed.
"I may have. Honestly, I can't tell these humans apart in this millennium or the last millennium," Mon said.
"Tell me about your war stories," Katsumoto requested.
"Why?" Mon asked argumentatively.
"Because we are both students of war," Katsumoto said obviously. "So, you were a general in your army."
"I was a prince but my father never made me more than a captain," Mon replied.
"And this is a low rank?" Katsumoto assumed.
"It's a middle rank. Well, captain means 'head' so it's a little confusing," Mon admitted.
"So, your father was your general?" Katsumoto assumed.
"My father's name was Lar Gand," Mon said finally.
"He killed many warriors?" Katsumoto asked.
"Oh, yes, many warriors," Mon recalled.
"So, he was a good general?" Katsumoto pressed.
"He was arrogant and foolhardy. He invaded Earth with two thousand Insane warriors against eight billion humans," Mon detailed. "He fell in love with his own family history. He was weak and didn't know it. He was assassinated by his wife, my mother. Then, his entire army was destroyed by a Kryptonian bitch."
"This is a very bad death," Katsumoto frowned.
"What do you want from me?" Mon asked directly.
"What do you want for yourself?" Katsumoto asked cryptically.
"I...do not want my father's fate. He was whipped and cuddled by his more powerful wife. His son was endlessly tormented and belittled by his wife and there was nothing he could do about it. My son and I will not have the same fate," Mon said resolved.
"This has been a very good conversation," Katsumoto said pleased.
For the next few weeks, Mon studied the craftsmanship of their sword-making. He would give the blacksmith tips on how to make the sharpest blade possible with the tools at their disposal. He would bathe in the hot springs when the monkeys were not around. Mon would occasionally antagonize Taka's oldest son, but he quickly learned to always be polite and respectful back and never allow himself to be ruled by his emotions. When no one else was around, Mon would train with Katsumoto in swordplay. Mon would always easily defeat Katsumoto but never in front of his men.
"Your mind isn't in the fight," Mon critiqued. "You're thinking about my sword, your men, your village, your enemy far away. Stop thinking, just instinct."
Katsumoto did better next time but Mon still disarmed him, took him to the ground, and forced him to tap out.
Occasionally, Mon would glance at the red armor displayed in the house and have dinner with Taka's family. With Mon being super friendly with the kids, Taka was noticeably pissed off. She went to Katsumoto, her brother, to complain. "I cannot bear this shit. Make him leave," she requested.
"Is he that repulsive?" Katsumoto wondered.
"The shame is unbearable. I ask permission to kill myself," Taka said dramatically.
"You will do as you're told," Katsumoto told her off. "You'd rather I kill him to avenge your husband?"
"Yeah," Taka said obviously.
"Hirotaro fought a man he didn't understand. This man is an Insane man. He cannot be killed by ordinary means. We are all at his mercy. Our only hope to survive is for him to defect to us," Katsumoto told her.
"I know," Taka admitted.
"There must be a reason he is here. It is beyond my understanding," Katsumoto said.
Mon then casually walked up to them having overheard the conversation perfectly. Taka then left the scene still flustered and uncomfortable with his presence. "She's been very kind to me," Mon said.
"She is honored to have my guest in her house," Katsumoto lied.
Still, over the weeks, Taka came to see a softer side of Mon with the children. She also recalled that her late husband was an asshole. In this regard, Taka began to warm up to Mon and even find him attractive. When they were alone together in front of the fire, Mon finally addressed the elephant in the room. "I'm sorry," Mon said sincerely.
"He did his duty," Taka said tearfully. "You did your duty. I accept your apology." She then left the room to take care of her younger son.
Mon simply stared lost in thought. He had fought the samurai only for fun, to find a decent challenger among the human race, and now he felt...guilt. On a hill, he sensed the spiritual energy of the people and nature around him. A strong white orb instantly formed in the palm of his hand.
One night, Katsumoto put on a play, apparently, about sexual harassment to his people. Meanwhile, Brainiac 5 ninja drones sneaked into the village, took out the guards, and then climbed onto the roofs of the houses to get the high ground. Ever attentive, Mon noticed the ninja drones. "Katsumoto!" he shouted.
The ninja drones fired crossbow darts at the samurai leadership and nearly killed Katsumoto on the spot. The ninja drones on the ground charged the unprepared gathering and assassinated more samurai leaders by throwing stars and darts. The samurai fought back ineffectively with their swords against the drones. Eventually, the samurai got out their rifles and pistols and fared slightly better. With Katsumoto's family threatened, Mon started firing on the drones destroying them one by one. Mon disabled or blasted the drones until they retreated away.
The next morning, Katsumoto and Mon discussed what had happened. "The perfect blossom is a rare thing. You could spend your life looking for one, and it wouldn't be a wasted life," Katsumoto said.
"Let's agree to disagree," Mon shook his head.
"I'm writing a poem about a dream I had. The tiger's eyes are like my own, but he comes from across a deep and troubled sea," Katsumoto recited.
"I assume it rhymes in Japanese," Mon said dismissively.
"I'm having trouble finishing the poem. Can you suggest a last line?" Katsumoto requested.
"I'm not a writer or a reader," Mon admitted.
"I had assumed you would keep a diary to remember your experiences here but, according to Taka, you have not," Katsumoto said disappointedly.
"What else has she told you?" Mon rolled his eyes.
"You have nightmares," Katsumoto replied.
"Every soldier has nightmares," Mon downplayed.
"Only one who is ashamed of what he has done," Katsumoto sensed.
"You have no idea what I have done," Mon said wide-eyed.
"You have seen many things," Katsumoto assumed.
"I have destroyed countless worlds, races, nations of people," Mon admitted.
"And you do not fear death but sometimes you wish for it. Is this not so?" Katsumoto asked
"Yes," Mon confirmed.
"To truly appreciate our kills, we must appreciate life. We must understand the value of what we take from our enemies," Katsumoto taught. "Only then is killing an enemy satisfying."
Mon nodded in agreement. "The emperor has given us safe passage to Tokyo. We leave tomorrow," Katsumoto said.
"Good," Mon said pleased.
Mon decided the best way to say goodbye to Taka was to find her taking a bath in a nearby waterfall pond. "Excuse me," Mon said as he found her naked near a waterfall.
"I was finishing," she said startled, and went to put bathrobes on.
"I must go," Mon informed her.
"Yes," she nodded understandingly.
"You have been so kind to me. I won't forget," Mon said sincerely.
Mon finally left the village with the samurai on horseback.
Tokyo
In the time Mon had been gone, Kara and Brainiac 5 had been busy with rapid industrialization and commercialization of the city. Skyscrapers, apartments, restaurants, utilities, sewer systems, cars, buses, rail trains, and subways were built. Mon and the samurai then parted ways in the busy city. Mon quickly found Kara and Brainiac 5 in a military fort outside the city. In front of him were thousands of uniformed troops and artillery.
"Well, you never cease to amaze, Mon. I thought you would never come back," Kara said scornfully. "I've given this country the whole package. I've been building cities, infrastructure, transportation systems, electrical grids, the fuck you do?"
"I need a bath," Mon said dismissively.
"I can only imagine. Indoor plumbing, it's a radical notion," Kara said condescendingly. "I know those samurai couldn't have injured you. Which means you became their prisoner willingly. And then you didn't use your instant transmission to just come back to me. So, what did you do with your spare time? Swordfight with the men and fuck the women?"
"I've assessed the situation here and I'm going to leave," Mon said taking off.
"I don't care what you do," Kara said angrily.
Mon went to see Brainiac 5 in his government office. "It would seem you endured your captivity with ill effect," Brainiac 5 noted.
"I was not ill-treated," Mon replied.
"I know. I was there," Brainiac 5 said cryptically. "How many samurai have joined Katsumoto?"
"I don't know," Mon lied.
"Roughly 500," Brainiac 5 counted. "And has Katsumoto fortified his position, how many firearms does he have?"
"You already know," Mon replied.
"Whiskey?" Brainiac 5 offered.
"No, thank you," Mon declined.
"Katsumoto is an extraordinary man, is he not?" Brainiac 5 tested.
"Just another tribal leader. I've known many of them, I've killed many of them," Mon downplayed.
"Certainly, the samurai ways have great appeal to you," Brainiac 5 figured.
"Just as cuddling brothels, ramen noodle baths, crooked teeth, sea lion in a can, bunny farms, and kawaii stuffed animals appeal to you?" Mon mocked.
"I don't have a preference for anything other than stability and peace for the human race. If Katsumoto is allowed to live, he will attract more samurai to his cause. This is not something I will allow. You cannot defend him at all times. Your attention span won't allow for it. It is inevitable," Brainiac 5 said. "So, you lead the army against samurai and crush them."
"I appreciate the offer," Mon said sarcastically.
"It is not an offer. Should you decline to lead my army or defect to the samurai, I will cause all nuclear fusion plants in this country to go into meltdown. This land will be a nuclear wasteland...again. Do we understand each other?" Brainiac 5 asked.
"Yes, we understand each other perfectly," Mon said seriously.
"Then, I am pleased," Brainiac 5 smiled.
Mon then walked off conflicted with his feelings. He desperately wanted to tell Brainiac 5 to go fuck himself, but his newfound affection for the Japanese people and the samurai, in particular, would not let him.
Mon wandered around Tokyo and happened to find Katsumoto's son arrested by Brainiac 5 police officers. "You will cut your hair," the Brainiac 5 officer ordered Nob. Mon walked up to confront Brainiac 5 on what he was doing.
"Lower your weapons," Mon ordered.
"This samurai will have his hair cut or I will begin what I promised," Brainiac 5 said to Mon referring to the power plant meltdowns. Mon hesitated to act and allowed the Brainiac 5 drones to cut Nob's hair short. Nob cried out completely humiliated by what was happening to him. For the sake of Japan, Mon didn't act.
Meanwhile, Kara pitched her plan to the emperor's council. The emperor sat in the back by himself completely silent. "Under my proposal, Japan will be divided into three relatively equal regions based on GDP output. The first district will be northern Japan, the second district will be the Tokyo area, and the third district will be southern Japan and Taiwan. Soon, Korea will be repopulated and will become the fourth district. By becoming powerful, yourselves, you will be able to resist the other Asian powers. Your army and your economy will be strong under my guidance."
Katsumoto then entered the room. "By all means, minister, come in," Kara said condescendingly.
"It is an honor to join this council once again," Katsumoto replied.
"As a precondition to rejoining this council, you and your samurai must disarm," Kara ordered.
"My sword protected this council long before your arrival to this world," Katsumoto pointed out.
"This is a nation of laws," Kara told him off.
"This is a nation of whores, selling ourselves to this alien bitch," Katsumoto said angrily. "For the last thousand years, our population shrank by half every century. Our people no longer formed families. Instead, we trapped ourselves in office cubicles all day, lived alone, and only found companionship with machines. We nearly became extinct as a people. Now, the same thing is happening again," Katsumoto said passionately.
"The samurai failed. Only through my Christian faith will Japan become great again. You thought so highly of yourselves as you became an economic power, sent probes into space, and had the highest life expectancy on the planet. You did all this without God, without faith. Now, you're but a fraction of your population, you're as isolated from the rest of the world as your people are to themselves, your suicide rate is still sky-high, and you are facing extinction again. Only by consecrating this nation to the Christian God, to me, can you survive," Kara argued.
"You speak of Jesus Christ being a humble man of the poor and yet you have the highest rank, and you own half the planet's resources," Katsumoto criticized.
"It is with great regret...that I kick your pompous ass out of this room," Kara glared.
Katsumoto came before the emperor and bowed his head low. "I serve the emperor. Only he can remove me from this room."
The emperor remained silent and looked away completely whipped by Kara. "So, there you have it," Kara said after a long pause.
"I will not stop my rebellion until the emperor commands me," Katsumoto said stubbornly.
"You're under arrest. You will remain confined until I summon you," Kara said and then had Brainiac 5 police officers take Katsumoto away.
Realizing what had happened, Mon teleported to the prison and destroyed the Brainiac 5 guards each within a split second. Mon went through each of them without difficulty and then barged into Katsumoto's room. "How's your poem coming?" Mon asked.
"The ending is proving difficult," he admitted.
"I thought you would leave," Katsumoto figured.
"I decided to stay. Do you want to escape or die?" Mon asked.
The room suddenly got lit up with plasma fire from Brainiac 5 drones. Mon shielded Katsumoto and then teleported the both of them back to his village.
That night, Katsumoto considered what to do next. "The emperor could not hear my words. His army will come," he figured. "It is the end. For one thousand years, my ancestors protected our people. Now, I have failed them."
"You would take your own life in shame?" Mon wondered.
"The way of the samurai is no longer necessary," Katsumoto concluded.
"Necessary? What could be more necessary?" Mon said sympathetically.
"I'll die by my sword or by my enemy's sword," Katsumoto pledged.
"Then, let it be your enemy's," Mon encouraged. "Together, we will make the emperor hear you."
Mon went back to Taka's house to tell her what was going to happen. "I have incredible powers. I can destroy entire armies, cities, worlds even. I can destroy the emperor's armies with ease. But if I did that, there would be no honor for the samurai, the human race. And even if I did, Kara would kill me. Beyond this, Brainiac 5 has pledged to destroy this country in a nuclear fire should he lose. It's all a perfect recipe for an Insane," Mon said reflectively.
"But?" Taka asked hopefully.
"The way of the Insane is hard. It's lonely. No one trusts you or wants to have any comradery with you. They don't understand you. Kara tolerates my ways, but she doesn't understand or appreciate them. My own people on another world have lost their Insane traditions. My head tells me I should start a world war, but my heart wishes I could be more like the samurai," Mon said honestly.
"Surely, there is a way for you to be both, an Insane samurai," Taka beseeched him.
Mon considered this as he went outside and spoke with Taka's older son. "My father taught me it is glorious to die in battle," the boy said casually.
"You have to choose the right battle to die in," Mon said politely.
"I would be afraid to die in battle," the boy admitted.
"I don't fear to die," Mon replied. The boy gave him an amazed look. "But that's because I'm an asshole who has nothing to live for, no one to mourn my passing, no one that depends on me. In every battle I was in, I was never afraid because I never gave a fuck. Don't be like me."
"I'm afraid you'll die," the boy said honestly.
Mon embraced the boy as if he were his own son. "If I die, it will be for the right reason."
The next morning, the Imperial Japanese army approached Katsumoto's village. Mon and Katsumoto eyed the large army approaching. "I'd say thirty thousand troops," Mon estimated. "And they have cannons."
"It makes no difference. They will come, and we will make our stand," Katsumoto replied.
"And you have five hundred," Mon counted. "I've been in battles where a few fended off many, took away their taste for battle."
"What do you have in mind?" Katsumoto asked.
"Take away the advantage of their guns, lure them in, get them close. Close enough for a sword," Mon suggested.
"You believe a man can change his destiny?" Katsumoto questioned.
"I don't believe in destiny or free will, just random chaos," Mon replied. "I do not presume to understand the course of my life. I know I am grateful to partake of all this even if for a moment."
The samurai men got ready for battle as the Imperial army advanced toward them.
That morning, Mon awoke and contemplated his impending death. "Prince Mon-El, please come with me," she offered.
"I know that wasn't supposed to sound sexual but...," Mon said concernedly.
Taka let him into her room. Next to her was her late husband's armor. "I'm going to strip you," she said, gently taking off his robes. Taka then expertly placed his battle clothes on and then his armor. The entire time, Taka remained completely professional with him. After they were done, Mon and Taka eyed each other with mutual respect.
"One way or another, I'll make sure this armor comes back to you," Mon promised her.
Taka smiled painfully. "I prefer it if you came back with it, yourself."
Mon then exited the house and met up with Katsumoto. "I am surprised you're not wearing your Insane armor," Katsumoto observed.
"When the histories are written, this will be your battle, your human battle," Mon said to him.
The samurai then rode off towards the Imperial army with the women and children staying behind.
As the two armies met on the field, Katsumoto and Mon had a meeting with Brainiac 5 and Kara. "Really, Mon? What the fuck?" Kara asked of Mon's samurai uniform. "Sir, you are to surrender to me, personally. If you lay down your arms, you will not be harmed," she said to Katsumoto.
"This is not possible," Katsumoto refused.
"Prince Mon-El, we will show you no quarter. You ride against us, and you are the same as them," Brainiac 5 informed Mon.
"I'll look for you on the field," Mon taunted.
The two sides went back to their respective armies. Kara remained on top of a hill half-expecting Mon to give up and tell her this was all one joke. After a long wait, Kara gave the order. "Commence firing," she ordered Brainiac 5.
The cannons fired at the samurai but were not close enough. "Fix it, right now," Kara ordered impatiently. The canons were readjusted and fired again. This time, the cannons were totally accurate. samurai formations exploded everywhere. The cannons kept firing killing scores of samurai warriors as they desperately tried to get out of range. Horseback samurai calvary lit up their cover positions to create a smoke screen. The cannons continued to massacre the samurai forcing their retreat.
"Send in a division," Kara ordered.
"It might be best to send in skirmishes," Brainiac 5 advised.
"Fine, one thousand of your men to their five hundred," Kara ordered.
A single Imperial battalion then chased the samurai and organized formations in an open field. Once the imperial army was formed, they fired a volley at the samurai killing additional scores despite their cover positions. The first row took a knee, and then the second row fired perfectly accurate shots. The imperial army remained in place, firing highly trained consecutive volleys. Explosives suddenly detonated behind the imperial army lighting the entire field on fire.
"What the hell?" Kara wondered as the entire battlefield was covered in fire and smoke.
The samurai then advanced forward firing their rifles and getting close as they could to the enemy. Despite the fire and smoke, the Imperial army continued to fire in an organized fashion with perfect accuracy. The samurai charged into the battalion and started fighting hand-to-hand. Igniting their swords, the samurai were able to slice and dice up the Imperial troops. It soon became obvious that the Imperial troops were all Brainiac 5 drones. The entire battlefield was full of drones and human corpses.
After a fierce hour of fighting, only a handful of samurai remained while the single Imperial battalion had been disabled. "The son of a bitch thinks he can win," Kara said dismayed as Brainiac 5 gave her casualty reports.
Mon and Katsumoto took a time out as they regrouped the survivors. "She'll send a battalion at a time up here soon," Mon predicted. "We won't be able to stop them again."
"You do not have to die here," Katsumoto said referring to Mon's power and teleportation ability.
"I should have died so many times before," Mon considered.
"Now, you live again," Katsumoto reminded him.
"Yes," Mon agreed.
"It is not your time," Katsumoto told him.
"It will be over for you, your men soon," Mon warned him.
Gathering all available horses, the samurai decided to mount a frontal charge. Numbering around fifty left, the samurai formed up. "They're going to attack? This is madness," Kara said as she eyed them with her falcon vision.
"Yes," Brainiac 5 judged.
"Well, let's give them the honor and glory they want. Wipe them out, all of them," Kara ordered.
Katsumoto and Mon's cavalry charged the Imperial army. The cannons in the rear fired on the samurai taking out a few of them with each accurate shot. A single battalion shielded Kara and the cannons from the enemy while the rest of the army stayed put. The Imperial army fired non-stop at the samurai as they approached. Mon threw his lightsaber at the Brainiac 5 drone acting as the battalion commander disabling it with a chest strike. The samurai crashed through the battalion line and were able to get through them. At this point, only twenty samurai were still alive and charging the guns.
"This is some bullshit," Kara said peeved.
As the samurai came close enough, Kara fired heat vision beams across the battlefield from one side to the other. The red beams blasted the samurai and their horses dead on the spot. The surviving samurai were quickly cut down by the red beams until no one was left standing. Finally, Katsumoto and Mon were brought down. Those still able to stand upon being dropped from their horse were fried on the spot. Kara kept it up until not a single samurai was moving.
Mon, severely burned at this point, crawled over to a mortally injured Katsumoto. "You have your honor again," Katsumoto said to him. "Let me die with mine." Mon assisted Katsumoto to his feet. He was severely burned with heat vision and plasma burns all over his body and uniform.
"Are you ready?" Mon asked him.
Katsumoto merely nodded as he went into shock. "I'll miss our conversations," Mon said honestly as he was about to stab him through. Suddenly, a red beam blasted Katsumoto's head off. Mon fell to the ground stunned by the blast. Another red beam hit Mon creating an explosion around him. Mon fell to the ground not moving. Kara slowly walked over to him and noted he was still alive. Mon's armor had melted into his skin, his hair was burnt, and his skin was red and blackened.
"Getting real tired of your bullshit, Mon," Kara scolded. Mon merely groaned in agony. "I hope it was worth it."
Tokyo
Kara came before the emperor with a datapad. "The signing of this treaty will usher in an era of unprecedented prosperity and cooperation between our two great races, Kryptonians and humans.
"I am pleased to successfully complete this negotiation," the emperor replied.
Mon then entered the room looking completely fucked up, still in his samurai uniform. Kara merely stared at him in disbelief. For the purposes of spectacle, Mon hadn't healed himself or given himself any medical attention. His armor was melted and covered in ash, blood, and dirt. He limped towards the emperor with a sword in his hand.
Mon uncharacteristically bowed before the emperor and then continued toward him. Mon then fell to his knees and presented Katsumoto's sword to the emperor. "Let's finish this up," Kara said impatiently as she held out her datapad.
The emperor ignored her and went over to Mon. "This is Katsumoto's sword. He would have wanted you to have it. Let the strength of the samurai remain with you always. He hoped with his last breath that you would remember the ancestors who held this sword and what they died for," Mon told him.
The emperor took the sword and closed his eyes in grief. "You were with him at the end?" he asked softly.
"Yes," Mon nodded.
"This asshole fought against you," Kara pointed out.
"I have dreamed of a unified Japan of a country strong and independent and modern. And now, we have been offered universal food and water, healthcare, housing, education, transportation, and clothing," the emperor said. "But...we cannot forget who we are or where we come from."
Kara eyed the emperor expecting to now be defeated. "Queen Kara, I have concluded your treaty is not in the best interests of my people," the emperor announced.
"If I may...," Kara objected.
"Me so sorry," the emperor shook his head. "But you may not."
"This is an... outrage!" Kara said pissed off.
"You have done quite enough," the emperor told her.
"Everything I have done, I have done for this country, this world. I will seize your royal palaces, all of your accounts, and all of your artifacts," Kara threatened.
"You would disgrace our institutions, our traditions," the emperor accused.
Kara suddenly grabbed the sword from him and sliced him through the gut. As the emperor fell, Kara cut off his head. Kara then turned to Mon still on the floor. She closed her eyes in frustration and then calmed herself down. "Congratulations, Mon, you've won," she said as she cast the bloody sword on the floor next to him. "Go back to that samurai village...go back to them...as their new emperor."
Mon simply stared at Kara in disbelief. "No matter how much I have done for these people, no matter how much time and effort, no matter the plans and conveniences I gave them, I never won their hearts," Kara admitted.
Brainiac 5 then came to Kara's side. "You will serve the new emperor now," Kara ordered him.
"Of course," Brainiac 5 said.
Kara then turned to Mon who struggled to stand. "Prince Mon-El, you will not be the Last Samurai," she said scornfully and then walked out.
Mon made the journey back to the samurai village where nearly all the men had died in the battle. He went before Taka and gave back her late husband's armor. The villagers realized Mon was now their emperor and merely gawked at him. "My deepest apologies for the death of your husband," Mon said sincerely. "But let it be known to all that his sacrifice won the war for your people."
"Thank you very much," Taka said with grateful tears and then bowed before her new emperor. The rest of the village followed suit.