Author's Notes: Various scenes occur concurrently with episodes 1-3.
Kara's jet helicopter landed on the lawn of the palace where reporters were waiting for her. Kara and Mon stepped out and pretended to be a happy unified couple in front of the cameras. "Good to be home," Kara smiled.
Upon entering the palace, Kara and Mon immediately parted ways. Kara met up with a Brainiac 5 drone on her schedule while another Brainiac 5 drone walked with Mon in the opposite direction. "What do I got, Barney?" Kara asked.
"You have a National Security Council meeting for thirty minutes on Syria," Brainiac 5 reminded her.
"I doubt it will be that short," Kara rolled her eyes.
"You have a TV address to prepare for and the Legal Counsel speech at the Monroe tomorrow night," Brainiac 5 said.
"Monroe? Oh, yeah, the New Monroe Doctrine about how I will never allow aliens to dictate Earth's affairs," Kara recalled.
"Actually, it's the Monroe Hotel," Brainiac 5 corrected.
"Then...what the fuck am I speaking about?" Kara wondered.
"I'm working on it," he assured her.
"Good, good," Kara said pleased. "Try to find someone that looks like me this time. That last girl was a joke," she scolded Brainiac 5.
"That was me," Brainiac 5 reminded her.
"I know," Kara said dismissively.
Oklahoma City
Meanwhile, a woman named Melissa became locally famous for her impersonation of the queen. She dyed her hair blond, used make-up to make her look pale, used blue contact lenses, put on red lipstick that made her look like a vampire and slimmed down to match Kara's impossible expectations for women. In this stage production, she wore Kara's Supergirl uniform while riding a pig. After playing God Save the Queen, Melissa got off the pig and addressed the crowd directly.
"Now, in each and every one of you, there is a light, a spirit that cannot be snuffed out. That won't give up. I need your help again. I need you to hope. Hope that you will remember that you can all be heroes. Hope that when faced with an enemy determined to destroy your spirit, you will fight back and thrive. Hope that those who once may have shunned you will, in a moment of crisis, come to your aid. Hope that you will see again the faces of those you love. And perhaps even those you've lost," Melissa said passionately to the audience.
Brainiac 5 was in the audience, analyzing her performance.
Metropolis
In the palace conference room, Kara met key members of the New York legislature which had jurisdiction over Metropolis. "See, I could veto this bill if I wanted to, but I don't want to. Do you know why I don't want to? It's got homeless shelters, head start centers, and...," Kara said and then forgot the rest.
"Hot lunches," Brainiac 5 said helpfully.
"Hot lunches for little kiddies and crap," Kara concluded. "If I kill it, I'm going to look like a bitch. I don't want to look like a bitch. I want you all to look like a bitch."
"But Ma'am, we've tried to kill it, twice," the NY PM said pathetically.
"I don't think so. If you killed it, it would be dead," Kara said as she slammed the table dramatically. "When I kill something, it always dies. Isn't that right, Barney?" Kara asked.
"Generally speaking," Brainiac 5 replied.
"Now, I don't want you to kill this bill because you're forced to. I want you to do it because you want to. I want you to do it because it's the right thing to do. I want you to do it because you're acting in the best interests of your country," Kara told them. "Now, get the fuck out."
The NY delegation left the room completely dismayed. Kara waited for them to leave and then turned to Brainiac 5. "You could have just informed them that you'll continue our policy of universal housing, job placement, and universal food rations for all children," Brainiac 5 said to her.
Kara smiled deviously. "I know. I just like to fuck with the politicians, keep them on their toes."
Oklahoma City
As Melissa went to her state-assigned home, she was ambushed by Brainiac 5 drones. "Holy cow!" Melissa said stunned.
"I'm Barney Dox. I'm from the government and I'm here to help you," Brainiac 5 introduced himself.
"Look, I do impersonations for TV and theater. I was told it was a completely legitimate profession," she excused herself.
"You've done nothing wrong, Melissa," Brainiac 5 assured her.
"That's a relief," Melissa said as she was about to have a panic attack.
"Occasionally, the Imperial government hires someone to be a double for the queen at public functions and in exposed situations. Your government needs your help," Brainiac 5 informed her.
"Really?" Melissa asked wide-eyed.
"You are to be reassigned to Metropolis and given a direct commission to lieutenant for your service," Brainiac 5 offered.
"Absolutely," Melissa agreed.
Metropolis
At the Monroe Hotel, Melissa got ready to impersonate Kara. Her skin was bleached white, a blond wig was put on her head, blue contact lenses were placed in her eyes, red lipstick was liberally placed on her lips, her nails were done to perfection, and her eyebrows were plucked. "A perfect match," Brainiac 5 said of her disguise.
"You really think so?" Melissa asked apprehensively.
"You know what you'll be doing?" Brainiac 5 tested.
"Wave from the door, come down the stairs, and get into the limo," Melissa recited.
"Correct," Brainiac 5 confirmed.
"You know, if you ever want me to do anything else like sing, dance, and act...," Melissa offered.
"Don't say a word," Brainiac 5 shut her down.
In the hall, the announcer introduced Kara. "Ladies and gentlemen, the Queen of the United States of Earth." Kara made her way to the podium in her black Supergirl uniform. "Thank you all. We need standardized parole criteria that will guarantee a prisoner will not be returned from exile until he has paid his debt to society. And by exile, I mean central Australia," Kara said.
"We need a judiciary that is sensitive to the needs of the average American because that's what we're founded on. The dreams...the dreams...of struggling pilgrims...who imagined a system of laws where all witches were burned and all the ditches were dug. God Bless You! God Bless America!" Kara concluded her speech.
Kara walked with her Brainiac 5 escort to a hotel room where they would meet up with Melissa and make the exchange. "Of course, they oppose my judicial philosophy; they're lawyers," Kara said irritably.
Kara then noticed Melissa in the room. "Holy God," she said stunned. Kara awkwardly eyed Melissa from every angle as she circled her. "You're a beautiful woman," Kara remarked.
"Thank you, Your Majesty," Melissa gushed with a sheepish grin.
"Just get rid of the grin. You look like a ditz," Kara scolded. "She's alright," Kara judged to Brainiac 5.
"Your national security meeting," Brainiac 5 reminded her.
"Right, right, time to start a war," Kara nodded and then left with an escort of Brainiac 5 drones.
"A war?" Melissa wondered.
"You're on," Brainiac 5 informed her.
Brainiac 5 escorted Melissa down the hall, down some stairs, through the basement kitchen, and into the hotel lobby filled with applauding fans. Melissa looked over the fans apprehensively but then got into the groove of things by giving out little waves. Lost in the moment, Melissa gave the crowds big thumbs up. As she was about to enter the limo, she turned back to the crowd.
"It is never too late to make things right, or at least better!" Melissa shouted with a perfect Kara imitation.
The oblivious crowd ate it up and then Melissa was immediately dragged into the limo. "Oh my God, I'm sorry, I got carried away. Did you see all of their smiles? They really loved me," Melissa said, pleased with herself.
"You're doing as well as could be expected," Brainiac 5 said.
"I guess something important must be going on for the queen to go through all this. Something top secret," Melissa figured.
"The queen is attending a war-council meeting on how to respond to the terrorist attack that killed thousands of Imperial citizens," Brainiac 5 told her.
"Oh, right," Melissa recalled.
Kara was rushed to Metropolis General with a Kryptonite laser beam to her gut and chest. The Kryptonite energy had irradiated her cells preventing her from being able to heal. Brainiac 5 stabilized her, but her energy pathways were not connecting. Kara was in a coma and in critical condition as life support systems were placed on her.
Meanwhile, Melissa hung out in the decoy limo with Brainiac 5. "There's been a change of plans," he said vaguely as the limo driver, also a Brainiac 5 drone, did a U-turn back to the palace.
"Nice," Melissa said of the glowing palace.
The limo went into the palace garage where Melissa was escorted to Kara's office. "So, what's going on?" Melissa asked concernedly.
"Something has come up. The queen was injured in a terrorist attack and she's in critical condition. She may die," Brainiac 5 revealed.
"Oh, no," Melissa said dumbfounded.
"Until the queen recovers, I think you should take her place...for the cameras, of course," Brainiac 5 said. "Try it out," he offered Kara's seat.
Melissa cautiously sat in the chair. "How does it feel?" Brainiac 5 asked.
"Very nice," Melissa nodded.
"Melissa, sometimes, we need our friends and even our enemies to feel safe and secure. We need them to feel good going to bed at night knowing Queen Kara is fully in control. We need them to feel like she's sitting right here in this chair," Brainiac 5 said.
"Wait a minute...what about Prince Mon?" Melissa asked, getting out of the chair.
"I didn't want to have to tell you this, Melissa, but the prince is Insane," Brainiac 5 said grimly.
"No," Melissa said stunned.
"I'm afraid so," Brainiac 5 confirmed. "You will be promoted to the queen's pay grade of O-12."
"Is this legal?" Melissa wondered.
"I will make it legal," Brainiac 5 said seriously.
"I don't know," Melissa said apprehensively.
"Let's say your mother is in the backseat, and you have to get her to the hospital, or she'll die. You'd break the law to get her to the hospital, wouldn't you?" Brainiac 5 asked.
"Yes," Melissa nodded.
"Now, let's say the entire planet is in that car. Melissa, the planet is sick...and you're going to get her to the hospital," Brainiac 5 enticed.
After Melissa agreed to her new assignment, Brainiac 5 escorted her to Kara's bedroom. "It's very nice," Melissa said amazed.
"I'm sure you will be comfortable here. I'll be back to get you first thing in the morning. One of me is going to be right outside your door if you need anything. Goodnight, Your Majesty," Brainiac 5 said as he shook her hand.
"Goodnight," Melissa gushed. "Thank you...for everything."
As Brainiac 5 left, Melissa looked over the room, the bed, the chairs, and coffee table, the desk, and the mirror. Melissa looked herself over in front of the mirror and posed a few times in front of it. She then eyed a large painting of Alex over the fireplace. Melissa gave the painting a look of wonder not recognizing the solemn-looking woman.
The next morning, Brainiac 5 gave Melissa a tour of the palace and schooled her on how the government worked and didn't work. "This is the briefing room," Brainiac 5 showed Melissa. "It's where the queen holds most of her press conferences. This may seem queer at first; even the queen needed time to get used to all the cameras and microphones."
"Does this teleprompter work?" Melissa asked curiously.
"No, pay attention," Brainiac 5 shut her down. "No one expects you to be Queen Kara overnight. The most important thing is her general presence."
"You mean the way she slouches, fidgets, looks around the room, gets lost in thought, and points at people?" Melissa asked.
"Very good," Brainiac 5 complimented.
"Listen to me: I lost everything — everyone. It makes a hole in your heart. But you can't fall into it. You have to fill it. You have to fight. Do not throw away who you are. If you do, that thing wins," Melissa said with a perfect voice imitation.
Brainiac 5 merely smirked. "Can I keep this?" Melissa asked, referring to one of Kara's pens.
Later that day, the press corps. was on the palace lawn expecting Kara to make an appearance. "Prince Mon-El is coming to see me?" Melissa asked surprised.
"It's only going to be five minutes. You both wave to the press, and he leaves," Brainiac 5 downplayed.
"Prince Mon-El...couldn't I start with a cousin or something?" Melissa asked, freaked out.
"Her cousin died a thousand years ago. It will be so fast, he won't even tell," Brainiac 5 assured her. "If you can convince him, you can convince anyone."
Mon barged into the room annoyed. "Why can't you just die?" he asked rudely. Melissa just stared at him, completely in shock by what he had just said as well as his very presence. "What are you staring at?" he asked her as he got close to her and eyed her intently.
"The press is waiting for you outside," Brainiac 5 pointed out to Mon.
Mon ignored him as he focused on Melissa. "Last night, I fucked one of your patriotic secretaries," he said bluntly.
"Thank you...for doing this, Mon," Melissa said meekly.
Mon merely smiled at her. "Bitch, please."
"I think we can get started now," Brainiac 5 pressed.
"This will be the last one I do for a long long time," Mon said to Brainiac 5 and then went to the palace balcony.
"You're doing just fine," Brainiac 5 reassured Melissa.
The three of them appeared on the balcony together. "Your Highness, how are you feeling?" a reporter asked.
"Never better," Melissa replied.
"Ready to get back to work?" one reporter joked.
"You bet," Melisssa answered enthusiastically.
"This is some bullshit," Mon muttered and walked away from the balcony.
"Are you sure you should be making decisions, right now? You almost died," a reporter asked condescendingly.
"I can't let that stop me from helping the people that need my help. And doing the good that I can do. And you could do a lot of good, too. You're all a part of my family," Melissa declared and then went back inside.
"What the fuck?" the press wondered as Melissa disappeared inside.
The next couple of days, Melissa impersonated Kara as she did photo-ops with babies, an awkward encounter with the Japanese PM, and a cabinet meeting that was mostly a formality with Brainiac 5 controlling all levers of the economy. "So...we're going to talk to...Ted...on land management," Melissa said, filled with cringe.
"Ted," Melissa called out.
"Yes, Your Majesty," he replied.
Melissa turned her head realizing she was facing away from him and pretended to listen to him intently. At a car plant, Melissa demonstrated how to use car-making equipment with a mind-reading device on her forehead. "In each of you is a light, a spirit that cannot be snuffed out," she said to the auto workers. Shortly thereafter, she did a sing-along with the workers.
On the palace lawn, Melissa rolled around with Krypto, the pet dog in front of the press. Mon eyed the scene with total dismay.
On the talk shows, public opinion began to move in Kara's direction. "The queen has had a rebirth. There's a transformation. She has faced death in the eye and been transformed by it," a talk-show host said on the news.
Comedians also got in on the change in attitude. "What's going on with Queen Kara lately? Has she been having too many crullers?" he joked. At the palace, Melissa hosted a nutritionist to teach children. "Let's talk about desserts. What you don't want to do is eat too many chocolate pecan pies," he lectured Melissa.
"But they're so delicious!" Melissa smiled.
At Yankee Stadium, Melissa came out with a Yankee sports jacket to throw the first pitch. "The Queen of the United States of Earth," the stadium boomed. The crowd cheered for her as she walked over to the pitcher's mound.
"I am so fucked," the catcher realized as he believed Supergirl was about to throw him a pitch. To his amazement, Melissa threw a decent underhand pitch that didn't blast him into the wall. The crowd applauded, believing Kara had used restraint this time.
"Issue One: The New Queen Kara. Two weeks after her brush with death, the queen is suddenly bounding around the country with the energy of a high school cheerleader on the verge of turning eighteen. Is this merely overcompensation for war, executions, mass corruption, and tyrannical oppression or is it merely the existing greatness of a truly great woman?" the host asked his guests.
"The assassination attempt has crystalized her thinking about her queenship. She realized she didn't have to be a depressed grief-stricken zombie. She can show some life, even act like a child," Guest #1 said. "She's showing the same strength of character she showed when she sacked the planet."
"On a political rehabilitation scale of zero to ten, rate the rehabilitation of our queen," the host requested of his guests.
"It's an eight. The zombie is gone," Guest #1 said confidently.
"It's a three, the zombie will return," Guest #2 said pessimistically.
"I think she's still out to lunch but looking good. The answer is eight," Guest #3 said.
In the basement kitchen, Melissa went to get a snack with Brainiac 5 following her around. "So, the queen and the prince, how long has that been going on?" she asked.
"Since the beginning but they've declined recently," Brainiac 5 replied.
"So, your job is to protect me at all times?" Melissa assumed.
"Yes," Brainiac 5 replied.
"Have a gun?" Melissa asked wide-eyed.
"Yes," Brainiac 5 answered.
"Ever use it," Melissa winced.
"Plenty," Brainiac 5 said vaguely.
"You know, I've always wondered about you guys. You outnumber us 10 to 1 now, you control the world economy, and yet you all work for us so we can enjoy the fun things in life," Melissa said.
"It was Kara's design," Brainiac 5 said.
"Is that really true?" Melissa asked skeptically.
"Certainly," Brainiac 5 confirmed.
"But why?" Melissa wondered.
"Her sister lived to protect the human race from all threats, foreign and domestic. Kara honors her sister's life by protecting and providing for humanity," Brainiac 5 replied.
The next day, Melissa and Mon were in a limo on the way to a children's homeless shelter. While in the car, Mon look over her shapely legs, her hips, and then her breasts where he remained for a good while until he ignored her completely. Melissa merely mouthed "Wow" as she noticed him.
"Why am I doing this? I don't give a shit about the homeless," Mon said confused.
"Well, I care about the homeless," Melissa said defensively.
"Yeah, bullshit," Mon doubted.
The limo arrived with the press already present. "Good morning, Your Majesty!" the children shouted adorably.
"Thank you for that nice welcome," Melissa gushed.
"Kids...what the fuck?" Mon muttered as he looked around apprehensively.
"Where are their parents?" Melissa asked concernedly to the director.
"A lot of them are in shelters but many are still in the streets," the director explained.
Melissa went around shaking hands with the kids while Mon ignored everyone like a total asshole. "Let's play some games so we can learn to express ourselves," Melissa said to the children. Melissa then began telling a story with an iPad about Joe who has no hair.
"Joe has cancer. He's fucked," Mon said softly as he listened.
"Oh, no, poor Joe has no eyes," Melissa continued the story.
"Eye cancer," Mon nodded.
Melissa then stopped what she was doing and went over to a child all by himself playing with a toy train. As the press gathered around, Melissa took a knee in front of the oblivious child. "Hi, there. What's your name?" Melissa asked sweetly.
"David," he said.
"What are you doing over here, David?" Melissa asked softly.
"Nothing," he said totally depressed and without hope.
"Don't you like to play games with the other kids?" Melissa asked him.
"No," he shook his head.
"You like magic? Watch this?" Melissa said and then did a magic trick with a coin making it disappear in her hand. "Oh, there it is," she said as she made the coin reappear right under his nose.
Melissa continued to play with the children while Mon simply watched on. He couldn't help but feel this version of Kara was sweet, happy, likable, and filled with love. He decided not to snicker about what she was doing and simply watched her work.
That night, Melissa sang in the shower as she usually did. Mon walked into her royal bathroom and interrupted her by opening the door. "Ah!" Melissa shouted surprised.
"I didn't know you had it in you," Mon smirked as Melissa froze up.
"What did I do?" she asked confused.
"Turn around," Mon ordered.
Melissa reluctantly turned around showing her naked front to him. "I don't understand," she said sheepishly.
"You vetoed the bill that funded those shelters. Now, all those children are fucked...because of you," Mon antagonized.
"I think there's been some mistake," Melissa said awkwardly.
"There's no mistake, Kara. It had to be done," Mon smirked and then walked out of the room.
"Wait...what?" Melissa said freaked out.
Melissa hauled Brainiac 5 into Kara's office. "What is this?" she asked shocked and appalled as she handed him a datapad.
"The Daily Planet," Brainiac 5 humored her.
"No, this," Melissa said distressed, already teary-eyed.
"Queen vetoes children's shelters," Brainiac 5 read the headline.
"How could we do that? We went there. We saw all those kids," Melissa said dismayed.
Brainiac 5 activated a hologram of the NY budget showing complex figures of resource allocations in real-time. "In the past, countries passed budgets once a year, and then agencies supposedly stayed within that budget. These agencies had no incentive to save. If they did, they would get their funding cut in the next budget. The system became inefficient, unable to adapt to changing circumstances. My budget adapts within fractions of a second every minute, every hour, of every day. It is beyond human comprehension."
"I don't understand," Melissa said frustrated.
"And you never will," Brainiac 5 replied. He deactivated the hologram and then exited the room.
To her credit, Melissa attempted to study the budget and figure out what to do about those children's shelters. She then called for a cabinet meeting with the hopes of redeeming Kara's reputation as it took a dramatic nosedive.
"Let's go over the budget," Melissa said brightly.
Brainiac 5 merely watched as Melissa awkwardly tried to articulate her financial plan for the homeless shelters. "I think I found a way to put back the homeless section. Now, as I see it, we need to make six hundred and fifty million resource allocation and service changes to make this work."
"Holy shit," several cabinet officials said, overwhelmed.
"Now, some of this can be done...it seems to me...with some simple calculations," Melissa said optimistically.
Brainiac 5 watched as Melissa and the cabinet struggled to figure out the budget. After a long session, Melissa and the cabinet managed to find the resources necessary to fund the shelters...supposedly. "Now, all we have to do is divide by zero...here...and we can save the program!" Melissa said excitedly.
The cabinet all clapped for her, totally impressed.
After the meeting, Melissa had a chat with Brainiac 5 on the matter. "I did it," she said glowingly.
"The reason why we're shutting down homeless shelters for children is because...we're placing them all in homes. It's a restructuring of the system. Every child in New York and the world, for that matter, will be given a home with two assigned parents. If no parents can be found, two of my drones impersonating a mother and father will take care of the child. And this will be the case until the child's biological parents are functional again or they can be adopted by qualified human parents. All adults in homeless shelters will be assigned housing units with a drone to look after them as they are rehabilitated," Brainiac 5 said.
"Oh," Melissa said stunned.
"This isn't the first time a human legislature has attempted to interfere with my budget. All of these budgets have been vetoed by Kara and they're never overridden. It's just a way for the legislatures to appear important in the budget negotiation process and to show their constituents they care. But I assure you, the moment any of these budgets actually manages to override Kara's veto, I'll shut the whole economic system down and return these people to the dark ages," Brainiac 5 explained.
"I had...no idea," Melissa admitted.
"Play the role I have so graciously given you or I'll destroy you and the rest of the human race. Do we understand each other?" Brainiac 5 asked.
"Yes," Melissa said meekly.
"Excellent job in front of the cameras. It's important that Kara be seen as compassionate and competent and that I am given all the blame for what comes next," Brainiac 5 complimented and then left her shaken and stirred.
At Metropolis General, Mon and Brainiac 5 accessed the basement level and made their way to the real Kara's hospital room away from the public eye. "We should just pull the plug already. I am next of kin. The decision is mine," Mon said coldly.
"She may still recover," Brainiac 5 countered.
"I did my part. I delivered Khan's blood. She still hasn't woken up," Mon pointed out. "How long are we going to wait for her to wake up?"
"Indefinitely," Brainiac 5 replied. "We have Melissa doing a fine job and should she fail, we can always get another double."
"That may work for these imbecile humans of this planet but not the rest of the galaxy. It's time to end this and make me ruler of this world," Mon told him.
"Before you make your decision, give Kara one last visit," Brainiac 5 insisted.
"Fine, fuck it," Mon allowed. Upon entering Kara's room, he found Kon standing off to the side wiping away his tears, not wanting to look weak in front of his father. Mara was sobbing uncontrollably over her mother's prone body. "Mother...wake up," she cried. Both children were toddler age due to accelerated growth but had the intelligence to know something was wrong.
Mon stopped in his tracks as he saw his children grieve over their mother. He looked back at Brainiac 5 who gave nothing away. "You, bastard," he shook his head.
"Your decision?" Brainiac 5 asked, gesturing to the life support controls.
"If she dies, it will be a natural one," Mon replied and then exited the room.
Mon went back to the palace and began to pack compartment cases that included his armor, uniforms, and boots. "Where are you going?" Melissa asked curiously.
"Home," Mon replied.
"Where's that?" Melissa asked cluelessly.
"I'm not in the mood for your questions," Mon told her off and then saw that she a bag with her as well.
"Souvenirs, towels," she said awkwardly.
"You're leaving, too?" Mon questioned.
"I never intended to hurt anyone, even someone like you," Melissa admitted. "I thought I was helping, but I'm just a constant reminder of your loss. I'm sorry."
Mon simply stared at her. "I was once the perfect warrior, cold and ruthless. I lived by my strength alone uninhibited by foolish emotion. But slowly...over the years, I became one of you," he said, pointing at her. "My quest for greatness, giving way to this life of mediocrity. I awoke one day to find myself settling down with a family. I had even grown quite fond of them. Would you believe I even found Earth a nice place to live? You understand now, girl? That's why I need to leave. I need to be set free so I can unleash the Insane in my heart. I need to be free of these petty attachments."
"And your children?" Melissa questioned.
"They mean nothing to me," Mon said, turning away.
"You can lie to me, but you can't lie to yourself," Melissa shook her head, sensing otherwise.
Mon gave her a long and hard look. "I'm going...to Africa. Tell Barney I don't want to be disturbed," he said and then teleported away.
See 3x05 The Woman King
The next day, Melissa held a press conference on Brainiac 5's new job program. "Some people think the world is fine and we should go on business as usual. I just don't feel that way. Not anymore...because, hey, things aren't fine. We've got so many problems; we don't want to even look at them anymore. They just blend together into this great big noise," Melissa began.
"When facing challenges like this, it's easy to feel hopeless. We retreat, we lose our strength, and we lose ourselves. I know. I lost everything when I was young. When I first landed on this planet, I was sad and alone. But I found out that there is so much love in this world, out there for the taking. And you, the people of Earth, you helped me. You let me be who I'm meant to be. You gave me back to myself. You made me stronger than I ever thought possible, and I love you for that. I need your help again. I need you to hope. Hope... that you will remember that you can all be heroes," Melissa continued.
"I'm going to make it the responsibility of this government to find a job for everyone who wants one, any job, whatever their heart desires. If someone wants to fly, I'm going to make it happen. It's not about the pay grade, it's about respect. It's about looking in the mirror and knowing that you've done something valuable with your life. And if one person can feel that way, and then another person and another person, soon all of these problems we have will not feel so impossible," Melissa said brightly.
"So... that's it. Let's...get to work!" Melissa said enthusiastically and then left the podium.
Shortly thereafter, Brainiac 5 had a meeting with NY congressional leaders. "The queen will propose a budget containing her universal job program, but the resource allocation is not there, yet. Not for a few more years. John Adams once said, 'I must study politics and war, that our sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. Our sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy, geography, natural history and naval architecture, navigation, commerce, and agriculture in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry, and porcelain.'"
"You're saying it will take three generations for humanity to study and work in whatever field they want?" the NY PM asked incredulously.
"No, it will take two years. Right now, we're in the second generation which means I need humans to continue working in the fields of mathematics, philosophy, geography, natural history, naval architecture, navigation, commerce, and agriculture for the time being, under my direction, of course," Brainiac 5 said simply.
"So, why are you pushing the queen's bill that has no basis in reality?" the NY PM asked.
"Because you'll be forced to vote it down or else, I'll shut down the system. Then, you, not us, will look like pricks," Brainiac 5 explained.
"Well...fuck us," the NY PM said amazed.
"Indeed," Brainiac 5 agreed.
Oblivious to Brainiac 5's political manipulations, Melissa welcomed back Mon into her office. He approached her with an African hat, a spear, and some beads. "These fertility beads are from Togo. You're going to need them," Mon offered. "This was taken from Burundi," he said, giving her a hat.
"They sure know their hats," Melissa said impressed at the cone-shaped hat.
"And a spear from the Agoji, an all-female warrior unit," Mon handed to her.
"How progressive," Melissa said impressed as she took it. The two had an awkward exchange as neither spoke. "I know we don't get along; we don't agree politically. I know what you must think about me, but I've always tried to respect the role you wanted me to play. When I've disagreed with this administration, I've kept it to myself. All I've got is my integrity, okay? That's all I've got left."
"Why are you telling me this?" Mon asked confused.
"Please don't kill me," she pleaded.
Mon nodded as he saw the fear in her expression. "I want you to know that you telling me not to abandon my family was the right call. Thank you," he said sincerely. "It's what any other Insane warrior would do, but how can it be Insane if everyone does it?"
Melissa merely gave him a blank look. "Sit down for a moment," Mon ordered. "How did you get started as an impressionist?"
"I was a prostitute but not very happy about it. One day, my friends tell me to be an actress, a real actress on the stage. You know? You talk about it all the time. Why don't you just go do it? So, I tell my pimp I have a dentist appointment, and I go down to the job recruiting center. Next thing I know, I'm enlisted into the system as an E-2 private," Melissa answered. "How about you?"
"Me?" Mon wondered.
"Yeah, how did you get started?" Melissa asked curiously.
"Not in the same way," Mon shook his head.
Kara eventually awoke from her coma with the help of Khan's blood and was briefed on what she had missed. She exited Metropolis General incognito and entered the palace. At this point, she met with Melissa while still in her hospital bathrobe. "I did what I thought was right. I apologize for any pain I may have caused you and your family," Melissa said to her while wearing her uniform.
Kara gave her an odd look. "You have been a good and decent public servant. Sometimes, even I forget that I'm here to make the lives of over two hundred million human lives a little bit better. Sometimes, I don't live up to my own expectations. You see, I think there are certain things you should expect from your absolute monarch. I ought to care more about people like you than about me. I ought to care more about what is right rather than what is popular."
"So, it's finally over," Melissa assumed.
"Barney, how are my poll numbers?" Kara asked while still looking directly at Melissa.
"They're substantially higher globally," Brainiac 5 answered.
"Well, that settles that. In good time, I'll give you the opportunity to do any acting job you want. But, for right now, the world needs you, I need you," Kara beseeched her.
"You sure? I'm kind of goofy naive ditz," Melissa said uncertainly.
"I have no doubt that in some alternative universe, I'm just like you," Kara smiled.
Author's Notes: Based on Dave (1993). Melissa's speeches are all taken from CW SG speeches. Dave is one of those presidential feel-good movies whereby the government has unlimited infinite money, and the national debt isn't an issue. It's a movie for babies but sometimes that's what we need to feel hopeful. One of the things I wanted to get across was B5's efficiency compared to a typical national government. Whereas it takes several months for a country to put together a budget that's crap, B5 can budget resources within a fraction of a second like an AI day trader.