As soon as the Civil Rights bill was passed, opponents immediately sued that the language of what constitutes a woman was vague. The Supreme Court agreed and punted the issue back to the World Congress. In turn, the World Congress delegated the responsibility of creating a committee on what constituted a woman legally and definitionally to the executive. Kara organized a council of all the department heads, the highest-ranking generals in Command, Science, Medical, Tactical, Environmental, Engineering, Communications, Religious, Logistics, Security, Operations, and Psychiatry to settle the important question. The council consisted of twelve men. Mon represented Command while Pope Barney represented Religious in his capacity as pope. The rest of the council consisted of ten ordinary human men. Once they had achieved a unanimous recommendation, Kara would be obliged to put it up for a vote at the World Congress. This council was well-respected and so their recommendation would almost certainly become law.
"You've been invited to settle a long and complex case. You've listened to the testimony. You've had the law read to you and interpreted as it applies in this case. It's now your duty to sit down and try to separate the facts from the fancy. All of mankind is at stake. As a Kryptonian female that often calls herself a Supergirl, let it be known I will respect the decision of this council however it goes. You're faced with a grave responsibility, gentlemen. Don't fuck it up," Kara said to them all.
The council of twelve then entered a small room with a table to hash out the issue. As soon as they entered, the door locked behind them. "What the fuck? They locked the doors on us?" Logistics asked fearfully.
"Sure, they lock the door. You stupid or something?" Security replied.
"It just don't think...," Logistics said lamely.
"Right, you don't think," Security said dismissively.
"How did you like that shit?" Mon asked one of them.
"Oh, I thought it was really interesting," Science smiled sincerely.
"It was boring as fuck. I almost fell asleep," Mon said bored.
"I've never been on a council like this before. The queen is actually taking our recommendations seriously," he said starry-eyed.
"Yeah, right," Mon rolled his eyes. "This is an easy open and shut case. Have you ever heard as much bullshit as this case?"
"Well, I guess they're entitled...," Science considered.
"Yeah, they're definitely entitled," Mon agreed. "If you ask me, the way to settle this question is with extreme violence rather than talk. It would save us a lot of time and sleep." "Let's get started, shall we?" Mon said impatiently.
"We have to wait on Medical," Pope Barney said.
"Fuck that guy, we don't need his opinion on this case," Mon said rudely.
Medical finally emerged from the bathroom to join the rest of them. "We'd like to get started," Pope Barney said gently.
"Forgive me. I didn't mean to keep you all waiting," Medical said sheepishly.
"Sit your ass down," Mon ordered.
"The issue at hand, gentlemen, is the fundamental question: What is a woman? Now, we're here to decide this question here and now and bring this recommendation to the queen. A proposed resolution has been put forth: Only humans possessing XX chromosomes may refer to themselves as women. I shall now put it up for a vote," Pope Barney said.
All voted in favor except Psychiatry. "Eleven in favor of the resolution, one opposed. Now, we know where we stand," Pope Barney recorded.
"What do we do now?" Operations asked spooked.
"We...talk?" Psychiatry assumed.
"So, what's a woman to you?" Mon asked annoyed.
"I don't know," Psychiatry said lamely.
"You sat with us as we listened to hours of medical, scientific, legal, historical, philosophical, and religious testimony. It seems clear as day to me," Mon berated. "Do you want to go through the whole seminar again?"
"No, I just want to talk," Psychiatry replied.
"What's there to talk about? Eleven men think you need XX chromosomes for a woman. No one had to think twice except you," Operations pointed out.
"Are you telling me you believe those crazy activists?" Tactical asked rudely.
"I don't know if I believe them or not. Maybe, I don't," Psychiatry allowed.
"Why not vote with the rest of us?" Operations asked.
"It's not easy for me to raise my hand and decide, for all time, what constitutes a woman without talking about it," Psychiatry admitted.
"Well, you couldn't change my mind if we talked for a hundred years," Operations said stubbornly.
"I'm not trying to change your mind. It's just we're talking about defining half the human race and deciding the lives of some that are not easily definable," Psychiatry said reasonably. "We can't decide such a fundamental question in five minutes. What if we get it wrong?"
"What difference does it matter how long it takes to settle the question?" Operations asked impatiently.
"Let's take an hour," Psychiatry suggested.
"This is some bullshit!" several members of the council said outraged.
"What the fuck for?" Mon asked Psychiatry.
"I don't know. Maybe no reason. Look, some of these trans-kids have been kicked around their whole lives. You know, living in slums, estranged from their parents, not happy beginnings. These are wild, angry kids, and you know why? Because they've been hit by life once a day every day. They live miserable lives. I just think we owe these people a few words," Psychiatry argued.
"We don't owe these people shit. We're giving these deviants a fair trial. They're lucky they got one at all. Now, look, we're all intelligent people here. We heard all the facts. You don't expect us to believe these trans activists, knowing what they are," Mon said dismissively.
"That sounds ignorant," Medical rebuked. "Do you think you were born with a monopoly of truth? We should point out the facts to this young man."
Pope Barney eyed Engineer doodling on a notepad of a new circuit board. "Do you mind?" he asked calmly.
"Oh, sorry, I just doodle to keep my mind sharp is all," he said embarrassed.
"If the gentlemen disagreeing with us can present us his argument, we can then go ahead and inform him how he's wrong," Pope Barney said condescendingly.
"Now, I haven't given this idea much thought, but I think it's our job as the majority is to convince him that we're right. Maybe we can go around the table with each of us telling him where he's fucked up. Just an idea," Engineering said.
"Well, how do I say this? I think it's obvious that you need XX chromosomes to make a woman. I mean, nobody proved otherwise," Logistics said sheepishly.
"No one has to prove otherwise," Psychiatry pointed out.
"Oh, well, shit," Logistics realized.
"Here's what I think, and I have no dog in this fight. I don't give a shit what you humans call your sex, gender, or pronouns. I just want to talk about facts. Number One: Women have XX chromosomes, Number Two: Women have female gametes that produce eggs, and Number Three: Women have female genitals. Now, these are facts. You can't refute the facts," Mon said condescendingly.
"Now, I'm as sentimental as the next guy. I know some of these trannies are just teens, but they have to be told the cold honest truth," Mon added.
"It's obvious to me that the Devil's Advocate case was quite flimsy. Feelings have nothing to do with science. You can't feel something you've never been before. You can't feel as if you're the opposite sex," Communications said.
"You see, with a real woman, they have a vagina. And a real man has a penis. So, everything fits," Mon said as he slowly guided his middle finger through a doughnut to demonstrate.
"You're out of turn," Pope Barney lectured Mon. "Next."
"Can I pass?" Environmental said timidly.
"That's your privilege. Next," Pope Barney ordered.
"Well, what I was looking for was motivation. You have some people that have suggested that these people may have neurological patterns different from their birth sex. The problem I have with that is that you'd have to test every single one of these people and it's still not conclusive sometimes. And what happens to someone who fails the test? It just seems hard to generalize on a case-by-case basis situation," Security said.
"What if someone does pass the test? Does that prove something to you?" Psychiatry asked.
"Well, it's part of the picture," Security allowed.
"What if I were to say that a neurological test was critical for determining sex? I mean, we're not just the physical. We're mental, emotional, and psychological, as well. What if our brain is female and our body is male? What then?" Psychiatry asked. "What do we say about children that dress and play as the opposite sex as if it were a normal affair for them?"
"Even if someone passed that neurological test, who is to say it's a permanent condition? What if they change? What if they fail it a year later? I'm not inclined to believe sex is fluid or temporary," Communications brought up.
"We're talking extreme outliers here. When it comes to chromosomes, gametes, genitals, neurology, and secondary sex characteristics 99% of men and women fit the criteria," Operations said dismissively.
"It's important that fathers be called Sir. If you can't figure out who is a Sir and who isn't, all of society is fucked up. You have any sons?" Mon asked Psychiatry.
"Three," he replied.
"I have one. When he was nine months old, he ran away from a fight. I saw it. I was so embarrassed, I threw up. I pledge to make a man out of him despite his handicap of being half-Kryptonian. And I've made a man out of him. When he was sixteen months, we had a fight. He hit me in the jaw," Mon smiled at the memory. Psychiatry merely gave him a WTF look.
"Look, I got a peculiar feeling during this case. When all the evidence was built up, it was just so positive, and nothing is that positive. There are a lot of questions I'd like to have asked. Maybe, they would have amounted to nothing, but I got the feeling the Devil's Advocate wasn't conducting a thorough investigation. I kept putting myself in the shoes of those people. Suppose the expert testimony is wrong?" Psychiatry asked.
"What's the point of having expert testimony if they're wrong?" Engineering asked confused as he stood up to face Psychiatry.
"Could they be wrong?" Psychiatry pressed.
"Those experts testified under oath," Engineering pointed out.
"People make mistakes," Psychiatry said argumentatively. "Could they be wrong?"
"Well, this isn't an exact science," Engineering admitted.
"That's right, it isn't," Psychiatry agreed.
"Look, I'm an engineer. From my technical expertise, you have to have the equipment to construct a baby or you're not a woman," he said.
"What about infertile women or women born without vaginas or wombs or ovaries?" Psychiatry asked.
"Fuck me," Engineer muttered as he went back to his seat.
"Look, have you ever seen a tranny's dick? Like really got a good look at it?" Mon antagonized.
"Let's see it," Psychiatry entertained.
"The gentleman has a right to see exhibits and evidence," Pope Barney agreed and then left the room. "Can you bring us the penis model?" he asked the clerk outside.
"Someone having a penis is pretty strong evidence they're not a woman, don't you think?" Communications argued.
"I do," Psychiatry allowed.
"Alright, now let's take these facts one at a time: chromosomes, gametes, genitals, neurology, and secondary sexual characteristics define sex. Am I right so far?" Communications asked.
"I suppose...," Psychiatry allowed.
The clerk came back with the exhibit. Pope Barney then placed the penis replica on the table. "This is a penis. It's a very unusually shaped penis due to hormone therapy but a penis, nonetheless. It's fully capable of delivering sperm to impregnate a real woman," Communications said.
"And what if it's not possible for this penis to become erect and deliver sperm?" Psychiatry asked.
"I say it is possible," Mon interjected.
"What if it's not possible?" Psychiatry pressed.
"It was capable of doing so before hormone treatment," Communications replied.
"What if it wasn't possible from birth?" Psychiatry asked.
"This is all very interesting," Logistics grinned.
"You think you're going to change anyone's mind? You hang this council, there will just be another one and that council will make the recommendation," Mon said dismissively.
"You're probably right," Psychiatry admitted.
"We've been here all night," Operations complained.
"We've been here one night. Countless people will be affected," Medical pointed out.
"Look, I have a proposition for you all. Let's have a secret ballot. I'll abstain. If there's eleven in favor of the resolution, I won't hold out," Psychiatry promised.
"Well, okay then," Pope Barney agreed. A secret ballot was taken with the eleven. In this count, it was ten in favor, one against.
"This is some bullshit!" several members of the council said outraged. "Who the fuck voted no?" Immediately, everyone started to accuse everyone of voting the wrong way almost leading to a fight.
"I changed my vote," Medical revealed. "This man isn't necessarily saying no to the resolution. He's just not sure. It's not easy to face the ridicule of others. So, he gambled for support, and I gave it to him. I respect his motives. Now, the resolution is probably true, but I want to hear more."
"Fuck this," Operations left for the bathroom.
"Let's take a break," Pope Barney suggested and then handed the penis replica back to the clerk.
When everyone had come back into the room and cooled off, Pope Barney spoke from St. Peter's Chair. "The scriptures say God created man, created them, male and female. From this, we can infer that God would not create someone of a third unknown sex. It also infers God would not create a person that is male in body but female in mind."
"The scripture speaks in generalities of mankind. What of exceptions to the rule? Mankind is fallen, is it not?" Psychiatry entertained.
"True, but there are explicit commandments against cross-dressing and homosexual behavior while countless verses encouraging heterosexual marriage, childbearing, and family," Pope Barney said.
"Do the scriptures specifically define what constitutes a woman?" Psychiatry asked.
"No," Pope Barney replied. "However, it is the opinion of the Church that chromosomes are the defining characteristic of men and women."
"What about people with XXY chromosomes or XYY, or one single X chromosome, or those with XXX or XXXX chromosomes," Psychiatry brought up.
"Those are extremely rare," Communications shot down.
"I still think we should talk about them," Psychiatry argued.
"It's simple. None of these people are women, period," Operations said dismissively.
"So, are they men?" Psychiatry tested.
"Well, I'm not saying that," Operations said defensively.
"If sex is binary, it's one or the other," Psychiatry pointed out.
"We're not here to determine what is a man. We're only here to determine what is a woman," Operations evaded.
"These people that may be in the hundreds or thousands deserve to be represented by someone," Psychiatry said passionately.
"Fuck these people. We only have to define one group of people: women. That's all," Mon informed the group.
"Let's have more respect for these poor sons-of-bitches," Tactical argued. "What's on your mind, Doc?"
"These chromosome abnormalities do exist, however rare, and I think, in these cases, we simply move to the next step for determination," Medical said.
"What next step?" Tactical asked.
"If the chromosomes are not XX, we look to the gametes. Does the individual have ovaries, testes, or nothing at all?" Medical considered.
"That would require us to amend our resolution," Pope Barney said to him.
"Yeah, fuck that," Mon said disagreeably.
"I think I know these unfortunate souls better than anyone in this room. These are quiet, frightened, insignificant people who have been nothing all their lives. No one knows these people, no one seeks their advice. It's a sad life to be nothing. A person needs to be listened to, to be quoted, to not recede in the background," Medical said.
"You're asking us to give a false recommendation, so these people feel important for once?" Mon asked derisively.
"I think this is a workable compromise," Science said.
"Now wait a minute, he's trying to get us to believe in things that aren't so. Even with XXY Klinefelter syndrome, you're still going to have tests and a penis. If there is any Y chromosome, it's a male," Mon argued.
"There are rare cases where an XY individual is born with ovaries, a vagina, and a cervix. They appear and grow up as girls," Medical brought up. "It's a rare mutation on the Y chromosome where some of the genes are shut off."
"Give me a fucking break. There must be one case in all of humanity like that," Mon rolled his eyes.
"But it is possible," Psychiatry pressed.
"Foreman, I'd like to change my vote to no," Environment announced.
"We're not here to talk about extreme cases. If we don't make a recommendation that only XX-chromosome individuals are women, our understanding of sex and gender will fall into chaos. For these extreme cases, we deal with them as they come," Operations said frustrated.
"How do we intend to deal with them? Throw them at the mercy of the bureaucrat that handles their case?" Psychiatry asked.
"There's an appeal process," Operations said dismissively.
"How about we actually do our job? What you're suggesting is already status quo," Psychiatry pointed out.
"I've been taking notes, and Psychiatry and Medical have made some good points. We have to look beyond the surface and dig deeper. So, what do we call such a person if we have a case of XXY or XY with a mutation and the gametes are female, functional, or not?" Science asked.
"Depends on whether they have boobs," Engineering joked.
"It's not funny," Psychiatry said peeved.
"When it comes to this hypothetical person, it goes both ways. Say, you have someone with XXY chromosomes or XY with a mutation who has ovaries, a vagina, and a cervix, but looks completely male on the outside. Should this person be forced to be called a woman?" Communications asked.
"Now, you're flip-flopping," Tactical pointed out. "In the beginning, we all didn't give a fuck if someone looked like a woman. Even if they had a surgical sex change, we still called them a man. Now, you're saying we should feel sorry for someone who is genetically female, sexually female, but looks like a man?"
"You voted yes. What side are you on?" Mon glared.
"I don't have to be loyal to one side or the other," Tactical said defensively. "I'm simply asking questions."
"Fine, we can amend the statement by stating that chromosomes take precedence. When chromosomes are ambiguous, gametes take precedence. Also, we cannot assume that chromosome XY will give us a man unless we know with certainty the genes on the Y are operational. If the Y genes are shut off or nonfunctional, it's as if they were simply an X, which is not a man," Communications allowed.
"Let me take one step further. What if someone has ambiguous sex chromosomes and no gametes to speak of? What then?" Psychiatry asked.
"Holy shit, dude. What the fuck?" Mon shook his head dismayed.
"I call for another vote," Psychiatry said boldly.
"All in favor of the original resolution?" Pope Barney asked. "Nine in favor, three opposed," he counted.
"Pardon, I vote no," Logistics said suddenly.
"Why did you change your vote? What's your reason, asshole?" Mon demanded.
"I don't have to defend my decision to you," Logistics said and then started to cry.
"This is some crazy shit, right here. What are we supposed to believe? There's not one person on this planet that has ambiguous sex chromosomes, ambiguous gametes, and ambiguous genitalia. This is bullshit. The trans population is a fraction of one percent, and, of them, less than one percent have these chromosome conditions, and, of them, less than one percent would have confused gametes. This is all a conspiracy to get me to believe a transwoman with a bigger dick than mine is a woman," Operations said crudely.
"Maybe it's possible you start talking with an attractive woman at the bar. Maybe you two do go back to your apartment and then have sex. But then you later find out she had XY chromosomes and testes where her ovaries should have been. Maybe all of these things happening to you is possible," Psychiatry beseeched him.
"Fuck your maybe," Operations said pissed off.
"What is this? Love underprivileged trans-kid week or something?" Mon asked rhetorically.
"I like the resolution as it is, but we could amend it to include situations where the chromosomes are ambiguous when the gametes are ambiguous, and when the genitalia are ambiguous, we go to the next step. I know it's only a handful of individuals but for the sake of accuracy and for those folks, I think it should be an option," Science suggested.
"What would the next step be?" Mon scoffed.
"The brain," Psychiatry said obviously. "The brain is the most important part of this puzzle. If it can be proven that mind and body can be two different sexes, that changes everything."
"How do you suggest we make that determination? Feelings?" Operations mocked.
"Foreman, can you bring in a transwoman brain diagram exhibit?" Psychiatry requested.
Pope Barney activated a diagram of different brains. "This is a typical human male brain, and this is a typical human female brain. In some cases, this is a transwoman's brain."
The twelve of them eyed the three different brains. "What the fuck am I looking at here?" Mon asked, seeing no difference.
"The transwoman's brain has a thinner cortical region in the right hemisphere, similar to a female brain. There are also differences in gray and white matter in the brains. In some of these scans, the transwoman's brain has both male and female characteristics," Pope Barney explained.
"When did these changes in the brain occur?" Communications asked curiously.
"During gestation but they can become more pronounced with hormone therapy treatment," Pope Barney replied.
"So, doesn't that provide reasonable doubt against the resolution?" Psychiatry asked.
"It should be kept in mind that our sample size is rather small. These kinds of issues are generally resolved with treatment in the womb. Even with adults, the condition is still treatable. The Church has also declared that human beings have free will, so we don't allow for any excuses," Pope Barney said.
"Is free will scientific?" Science asked skeptically.
"Probably not but, for our purposes, it's quite necessary for accountability," Pope Barney replied. "We can't have sin or virtue without free will. Also, a soul is obviously necessary."
"But if someone is born with a female brain but with a male body, don't they then have a moral Christian obligation to transition? Why does the Church favor the body over the mind?" Psychiatry asked Brainiac 5.
"It's not a matter of favoring the body over the mind or vice versa. The chromosome identification covers both body and mind. However, let me be clear. The body and mind are both considered "the flesh" and not the spirit," Pope Barney said.
"How does one determine if someone has a male or female spirit?" Psychiatry asked.
"The spirit has no gender or sex. The body and mind are merely vehicles for the spirit. In this regard, the vehicle is of no importance, only God's will and the spirit's salvation," Pope Barney said.
"Didn't Jesus teach that if your eyes were to cause you to sin, pluck it out? If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off? If the body, itself, should cause someone to sin with suicide and other self-harm, should the spirit not throw away the parts that could cause its damnation?" Psychiatry tested.
"You're making an argument for castration as a eunuch which can be allowed under certain circumstances, but a complete sex change is not authorized. No plucking of eyeballs or cutting off of hands is authorized without Church permission," Pope Barney replied.
"If the alternative is suicide, isn't a sex change the lesser of two evils?" Psychiatry pressed.
"The Church does not deal in the lesser of two evils. In this case, the Church believes it can scientifically and medically treat these people to make them whole. All cases are treated individually," Pope Barney answered.
"Those conversion methods have failed in centuries past," Psychiatry doubted.
"I assure you, with my methods, I can have you think however I want," Pope Barney said seriously.
"Then, why the fuck are we even here?" Operations asked skeptically.
"The queen wishes to empower humanity to come to its own conclusions…within reason," Pope Barney replied.
"There are not enough scan samples to make a confident conclusion," Science said. "Many who consider themselves trans will not submit to the test. What do we tell them then?"
"We tell them to get fucked. The test should be mandatory," Operations said rudely.
"You can't make the test mandatory. That's probably unconstitutional," Psychiatry objected.
"If they don't take the test, they have no case," Operations shrugged.
"Should the subject have XY chromosomes, testes, male genitalia, and a male neurological profile, would that be enough to satisfy you that they are not a woman?" Pope Barney asked Psychiatry.
"I concede that they wouldn't objectively be called a woman, but I hold that they have the right to claim it as part of their identity," Psychiatry said awkwardly.
"Our work is only to determine objective criteria. What people tell themselves in front of a mirror is of no concern to us," Mon said.
"Here, here," several members of the council sounded off.
"So, what you're all saying is that if any of you had sex with a transman, that wouldn't be homosexuality?" Psychiatry challenged.
"So long as balls don't touch," Operations said immaturely.
"It's certainly not hetero," Mon said disagreeably.
"It has to be one or the other," Psychiatry pressed.
"I disagree. I think there's gray area here," Communications said defensively.
"A transman wouldn't be allowed to marry within the Church and, therefore, any sex by any sex would be considered the sin of fornication regardless of the motive," Pope Barney explained.
"What if a woman was legally married in the Church to a man but then became a transman?" Psychiatry asked. "Automatic divorce?"
"Her husband would have sufficient grounds for an annulment," Pope Barney deflected.
"What if he doesn't want an annulment?" Psychiatry pressed. "Would you force the annulment?"
"No, but sex between them would be prohibited. For a sex act to be licit, it must be open to life with a heterosexual intent, act, and consequence. If any of those three are not present, the sex is illicit even with married couples," Pope Barney said.
"How the fuck can that husband have sex with a transman without having homosexual intent?" Operations asked skeptically.
"With difficulty," Pope Barney replied.
"What if a transman has sex with a transwoman...while open to life...and in a valid marriage before either transitioned?" Logistics asked curiously.
"Even under such circumstances, it's very unlikely the intent is heterosexual from the point of view of their birth sex and, therefore, the sex would be illicit," Pope Barney replied.
"What if two men transition to transwomen but then have sex with each other? Isn't that still heterosexual intent?" Communications asked intrigued.
"It would satisfy the intent but not the act nor the consequence of being open to life," Pope Barney replied.
"This really is a puzzle to solve," Logistics smiled amused.
"The only thing we're solving here is what is a woman," Mon said getting them all back on track.
"So, is a transman a woman?" Psychiatry challenged.
"I vote yes with the understanding it would still be homosexual intent if we were to ever have sex with them," Operations said, gesturing to Pope Barney.
"Can you show the exhibit of the transman, Angelica Buck?" Psychiatry requested. A hologram of the transman appeared before them, a nearly naked muscular bodybuilder.
"Holy God," Security said impressed.
"You're saying that's a woman?" Psychiatry asked incredulously.
"As a man of science, appearance means little to me," Science objected.
"He looks like a man, speaks like a man, thinks like a man, moves like a man, and you wouldn't be able to know the difference," Psychiatry argued.
"Still a woman," Operations said stubbornly. "If this person went to the doctor's office, wouldn't their birth sex be relevant?"
"Yes," Medical conceded. "Although their hormone replacement therapy would also be relevant," he caveated.
"Who has the burden of proof, them or us, on determining their neurological profile?" Psychiatry asked.
"They do," Operations insisted.
"I think we have an obligation to meet in the middle," Science allowed. "We can determine it precisely, right?"
"We can," Pope Barney said, giving nothing away.
"So, there you go," Operations gestured to Pope Barney.
"Don't you think there's a conflict of interest with Barney being the one to determine the neurological profile and being the pope, no offense?" Psychiatry asked them all.
"None taken," Pope Barney allowed. "The testing equipment has been distributed all across the globe and can be operated by humans."
"Equipment you invented and can remotely control," Psychiatry pointed out.
"It is entirely your prerogative to examine the equipment for yourselves to determine whether it has been tampered with," Pope Barney replied.
"I'd like to look at it," Engineering requested.
Pope Barney got up and opened the door to request the device from a clerk and then sat back down. "The Male Council has already made its decision," Mon pointed out.
Flashback
In a dark room filled with cigar smoke and the smell of whiskey, the male council determined the case of a transwoman brought before them. She smiled awkwardly while wearing a dress and high heels. "You are designated as a male, but we do not grant you the rank of gentleman," they determined.
"What? How can I be a male and not be called a man?" she asked incredulously.
"One does not become a man automatically at eighteen. It must be earned. Until you have earned the title of manhood, you remain a boy," the council determined.
"So, can I still call myself a Lady?" she asked adorably.
"We don't care what you call yourself other than being called a man," they replied.
"Ladyboy, it is," she shrugged.
End Flashback
Psychiatry was not impressed. "That decision is not legally binding on us."
"I tried," Mon threw up in his hands.
"It seems to make sense to me that if a transwoman has ambiguous chromosomes, gametes, genitalia, the neurological test should be the deciding factor," Science allowed.
"I propose that the neurological test should be the deciding factor without chromosomes, gametes, and genitalia being ambiguous," Psychiatry countered.
"I tell you, give this guy an inch and he'll take a mile. Even if we agree to that standard, he'll try to add more stipulations and excuses. We both know ninety-nine percent of these trans people won't pass that test," Operations said annoyed.
"In my experience, rarely are these people faking it," Psychiatry countered.
"I'm not saying they're faking it. I'm saying they're delusional. They won't pass that test," Operations insisted.
"Then, why not make it the standard?" Psychiatry asked him.
"I'll agree to Psychiatry's standard if they get a full sex change or chemical castration," Operations allowed.
"We're not here to make policy," Pope Barney reminded him.
The clerk came back with the device. Engineering immediately started to tinker with the headband. "The criteria must still be chromosomes. They're in every cell including the brain. Everything follows from them, the mind, the body. They're the one thing we can't change," Mon said. "If a human comes back with a neurological profile of Insane, it doesn't mean shit. In our conquering of the galaxy, we've brainwashed many races to be like us, but they will never be one of us. Without Insane chromosomes, you'll never be able to achieve the Super Insane transformation no matter how hard you try or how much you think you're one of us."
Mon continued in his speech. "A thousand years ago, a lot of people were fans of Kara as Supergirl. They dyed their hair like her, dressed like her, and lost weight to be like her. Even men got into the act. Some even were convinced they were even Kryptonian and jumped to their deaths off rooftops. But none of these losers are Kryptonian."
"Women are still humans, not another species. At the beginning of our fetal development, you couldn't tell boys and girls apart. And if certain genes are not triggered, there would be no differences," Psychiatry objected.
"Which is why it makes sense to have the chromosome, gametes, genitalia, neurological standard in that order," Science said to him.
"It's legit," Engineering said of the headband.
"Barney can make it look legit to any human eye and have his own agenda, no offense," Psychiatry doubted.
"None taken," Pope Barney allowed, giving nothing away. "Shall we have a vote?" The twelve all voted secretly and then Pope Barney counted them up. "Six in favor of the original proposition, six against," he read out.
Psychiatry smiled victoriously as he gained traction. "Let's see how many vote for Psychiatry's position?" Operations said pissed off as he saw Psychiatry's expression.
"The original proposition must be defeated unanimously before we consider our own proposition," Pope Barney ruled.
"We're going to be here all night," Operations said miserably.
Environment then stood up to make a speech. "This fighting...that's not why we're here, to fight. We have a responsibility. This, I have always thought, is a remarkable thing about democracy that we are...to come down to this place to decide the definition of men and women. People we have never seen before will be affected by our decision. We have nothing to gain or lose from our decision. This is one of the reasons we are strong. We should not make it a personal thing. I, for one, only care about plants, animals, climate, geography, and so forth. I actually hate humanity and wish to see its extinction, but I'm here to provide my expert opinion in good faith. Thank you."
"In our line of work, we can get an insight into a culture by their art. You see, there's art that is masculine and feminine. We can use that intel to get an idea of what we're dealing with," Tactical brought up.
"Can you bring up the art exhibits?" Psychiatry requested.
Pope Barney activated a hologram showing ten paintings. "Which ones were painted by men and which ones were painted by women?" Psychiatry challenged.
Tactical eyed the paintings carefully. "Just eyeballing it, I would say #1, #4, #5, #8, and #10 are female and the rest are male," he listed off.
"They're all male," Psychiatry corrected.
Tactical gave Pope Barney a look of disbelief. He simply nodded confirming it and then shut off the holograms. "Well...fuck me, I would have known the difference if I was given time to properly study them," he said embarrassed.
"Or maybe you would never have figured it out," Security mocked. "I say fuck this whole debate. There should be no men or women, just one standard. The only way you can join my department is if you pass the physical agility test which is the same for both men and women. There's no men or women to me, just those that meet the cut and those that don't."
"You'd put an old man and a teenage girl in the same category?" Operations mocked.
"Fuck yeah," Security said, not backing down.
"So, you'd fuck anyone that passes the test or anyone that doesn't pass the test?" Mon asked confused.
"Well...I," Security stuttered.
"Would you fuck me?" Mon asked wide-eyed.
"No, my prince...of course not," he backtracked.
"Would you fuck this guy?" Mon asked, pointing to Logistics, a scrawny little guy.
"I'm going to shut up now," he said, completely embarrassed.
Operations lost his patience. "I'm getting a little tired of this shit, it's getting us nowhere. I say we scrap the original proposition and start over. I vote no."
"Another vote?" Communications suggested.
The men voted around the table with even Pope Barney voting no. With Pope Barney voting no, the entire table folded with Mon being the only holdout. "I'm entitled to my Insane opinion on this matter, but you're not Insane...so fuck it," he relented.
With the original proposition defeated, the twelve angry men worked on a substitute resolution. Pope Barney placed a number of resolutions up for a vote. "A woman is determined by the individual's claim to be such without a neurological test or hormone therapy: 1-11."
"A woman is determined by the individual's claim to be such without a neurological test but with a psychiatric evaluation and hormone therapy: 2-10," Pope Barney read out with psychiatry and medical on the losing side.
"A woman is determined by the individual's claim to be such without a neurological test but with a psychiatric evaluation, hormone therapy, and objective independent determination that they pass: 4-8," Pope Barney read out with Environment and Logistics peeling off.
"A woman is determined by an objective neurological test, claim to be such, psychiatric evaluation, hormone therapy, and the ability to pass: 4-7-1," Pope Barney read off with Science now supporting it and Psychiatry abstaining on principle.
Pope Barney then switched to the other side's position. "A woman is determined by XX chromosomes, if ambiguous, female gametes, if ambiguous, female genitalia alone 6-6."
"I think Prince Mon and Pope Barney should be excluded from the vote. This should be a human decision," Psychiatry said boldly.
"Fuck yourself," Mon smirked, genuinely impressed by the man's boldness.
"The queen's order is that we be here...to supervise and lend our experience," Pope Barney shot down.
"The vote is rigged," Psychiatry claimed.
"If you exclude Pope Barney and Prince Mon, I'll vote against you on principle," Security told him off. "As will I," Tactical added. The room was about to explode in argument and violence until Pope Barney raised his hand.
"Silence!" Security shut everyone up.
"If it's any consolation, my vote is not according to my own opinion but what is consistent with Church history, tradition, and doctrine, a Church that was either revealed, founded, or invented by humans. Therefore, my opinion, so to speak, is a human one," Pope Barney assured the group. "And if not me, a human cardinal would have given you the same position. Now, may we continue?"
"Can we make it so that each country can make up their own definition?" Logistics asked.
"No, that is not allowed," Pope Barney said gently.
"That would be confusing as fuck. You're a woman in one country and a man as soon as you cross the border," Operations mocked.
"It has happened in the past with...interesting results, but we are tasked with a global resolution," Pope Barney said patiently. "A woman is determined by XX chromosomes, if ambiguous, female gametes, if ambiguous, female genitalia, if ambiguous, a neurological female scan: 8-4." "With a super-majority vote...,"
"I still don't think Prince Mon should be voting," Psychiatry said stubbornly. "I will appeal."
"To what?" Mon scoffed.
"I'll abstain if Prince Mon abstains," Logistics offered.
Pope Barney eyed the submissive man who only wanted peace. "Very well. The vote is now 7-3-2, also a super-majority vote."
"The vote should be unanimous," Psychiatry insisted.
"Fuck me," Operations sighed, realizing it would be a long night.
"Back to square one, huh?" Mon mocked.
"What we need is a resolution we can all agree with it and then the resolution we just passed can be a supplemental one," Science suggested.
"Which one would be used for policy?" Communications interrupted.
"Just hear me out, alright? If someone with XY chromosomes is transformed so that he/she now has XX chromosomes, what about that?" Science said.
"That's magic or science fantasy," Mon scoffed.
The table turned to Pope Barney. "The technology...does not exist...yet."
"If it did?" Science pressed.
"According to the Holy Church, one cannot defy God's determination of one's sex at conception. However, should someone commit the very mortal sin of changing their sex, as you describe, and then repent, the Church would recognize their new sex with all the rights and responsibilities that come with that new sex," Pope Barney allowed.
"Wouldn't that person be in constant mortal sin until they change their sex back?" Communications asked curiously.
"No, because the Church also prohibits any surgery or change to the body that is not medically necessary. To do so would also be a mortal sin. They would be stuck at that point," Pope Barney replied.
"What does mortal sin mean?" Logistics asked ignorantly.
"It means you go to hell, and you die," Mon told him.
"It's the other way around, Mon," Pope Barney corrected.
"Or what if we invented time travel and we interfered with how a person was conceived so they would be the opposite sex originally?" Science said starry-eyed.
"Holy shit, dude. I'm glad you'd never be able to find that time and place for me," Mon said incredulously.
"Time travel, should it be possible, will be tightly controlled," Pope Barney told him. "Now, are we in agreement that if hypothetically an XY individual were to be altered comprehensively on the genetic level to XX, that individual would be determined to be a woman?"
"What if they feel they're still a man even after the procedure?" Psychiatry doubted.
"Dude...shut the fuck up," Medical said, losing patience with him.
"I'll withdraw the resolution if we do not have a unanimous consensus," Pope Barney threatened. Psychiatry simply nodded, having scored enough concessions.
The next morning, Mon and Pope Barney exited the hall with the humans already departing back to their homes. "I'll inform Kara of the resolutions and the minutes of the discussion," Pope Barney said.
"Whatever," Mon rolled his eyes.
"You played your part well as the hostile Devil's Advocate. How much of it was your real opinion and how much of it was the role?" Pope Barney asked curiously.
"All of it...none of it," Mon smirked and then walked off.
Author's Notes: Based on 12 Angry Men. It's not lost on me that only men are deciding this question here. This episode gives some context on how Kara, B5, and Mon interact with Nia in AOS Seasons 4-7. Mon is overly hostile as is the character he's substituting; some of that is just an act he was asked to do and probably some of it is his real feelings on the matter. I aimed to be comprehensive here and respectful to both sides while still keeping to the general narrative flow of the film.