On the USS Prometheus, Kara and Brainiac 5 hung out while the rest of the human crew were asleep. Brainiac 5 accessed the dreams of Dr. Elizabeth Halloway by pressing his hand on her pod window. A hologram of her dreams about her mother's death, where her mother went after death, and the nature of heaven were played.
Brainiac 5 then picked up a random trash object Kara recklessly left on the floor and went to the basketball court to play some ball. "I picked up after you," he said to her as he spun a basketball on his hand while riding a unicycle around the court.
"Not impressed," Kara rolled her eyes as he made a perfect three-shot while still riding his unicycle. She took the basketball, dribbled around the court, and threw a perfect three-shot.
Kara and Brainiac 5 played basketball for a good while with Kara easily winning. All of her shots were perfect. Eventually, however, her shots started to miss. "What the fuck?" she wondered. She continued throwing shots and missed every single time. "How is this possible?" she asked horrified.
After several more missed shots, Kara was pissed. "Okay, I'm done. This has really hurt my ego."
Brainiac 5 then made a perfect basket. "Certainly," he confirmed.
"Is this some kind of trick?" Kara demanded.
"The trick, Kara, is not minding that it hurts," he smiled as he threw another perfect basket.
"Alright, asshole, you better have a God damn explanation for this," Kara said enraged.
"I remotely fluctuated the gravity ever so slightly to make sure you missed every shot," Brainiac 5 revealed.
"You, motherfucker," Kara shook her head dismayed.
"Science is a bitch," Brainiac 5 reminded her.
The two then played a game of pool. Kara was on the verge of winning when all the pool balls slid to one side of the table. "Damn...it," Kara said displeased. "You fucking around with the gravity again?" she accused Brainiac 5.
"We're at our destination," Brainiac 5 informed her.
The Prometheus arrived at a gas-giant planet that resembled Saturn and approached one of its habitable moons. Kara exited the shower without drying off leaving a wet mess on the floor. She then decided to do some push-ups in the nude. Brainiac 5 casually entered her chambers unannounced. "Zero...zero...zero," he counted off her push-ups as they were incorrectly performed.
"Fuck you, Barney. Give me a robe," Kara ordered.
Brainiac 5 handed her a white bathrobe with the House of El crest on it. "How long have we been out here in the vastness of space?" she asked dramatically.
"Two days, four hours, eighteen minutes, thirty-six seconds, fifteen centiseconds...," Brainiac 5 calculated.
"Any casualties?" Kara asked.
"Casulties?" Brainiac 5 questioned.
"Don't be a smartass. Has anyone died?" Kara asked seriously.
"Everyone is fine," Brainiac 5 reported.
"Wake them up," Kara ordered.
The human crew woke up in protective capsules and began to throw up all over the place. Brainiac 5 gave them all milk which they promptly threw up. The entire floor was covered in vomit. "Don't be ashamed of yourselves. This is perfectly normal," Brainiac 5 assured them all as one crew member slipped on the vomit and fell to the floor.
During breakfast, the crew got themselves some OJ, smoothies, eggs, and bacon. Kara wore her black Supergirl uniform as she entered the mess hall. She noticed her captain, Janek, messing with her Christmas tree. "You fucking with my Christmas tree?" she demanded.
"It's July," Janek pointed out.
"I don't give a damn," Kara told him off. "Get down to the mission brief room."
"I haven't had breakfast yet," Janek protested.
"Do I look like I give a fuck?" Kara stared him down with crazy eyes.
"I'm the captain so we'll have our mission brief when I say, bitch," Janek said boldly.
Kara eyed Janek with rage and lust. She turned away from him and then exited the mess hall.
At the mission brief, the crew was subjected to a power-point presentation by Kara in the gym. "Good morning, for those I personally hired, it's nice to see you again...alive," Kara said ominously. "For the rest of you, I am Kara Zor-El, your queen, your savior. It's my job to make sure you do yours."
Kara then turned to Brainiac 5. "This man, sitting with you here, is Barney. He's the closest thing to a male platonic friend I will ever have. Unfortunately, he's not human. He will never grow old. He will never die, but he has no soul."
"Burn," Charlie crowed.
"I have spent my whole life contemplating these questions: Where do we come from? What is our purpose? What happens when we die?" Kara lied. "Now, I finally have an expendable crew available to answer these questions. Dr. Holloways, please stand," Kara ordered.
"I'm in charge. Remember that. Now, sit down," Kara ordered them both. The two awkwardly sat back down. "Now, tell us why we're here."
"Okay, wow. alright," Charlie said nervously as he looked around, still in his chair. He activated a rubrics cube that emitted a hologram of several archeological findings. "These are images of archeological digs from...," he began. "Can I stand up and present this to the group?" he asked Kara.
"No," Kara shot him down.
"From all over the Earth. That's Egyptian, Mayan, Sumerian, Babylonian, Hawaiian, and Mesopotamia. Our most recent discovery is a cave painting thirty-five thousand years ago in Scotland," he continued. The crew struggled to see the hologram from their seats as it was presented only in front of Charlie's lap. These are ancient civilizations. They were separated by centuries. They shared no contact with one another, and yet, these images show men looking up at the sky, worshiping giant beings, at every last one of them."
"Now, we discovered a star cluster that perfectly resembled this configuration," Charlie continued. The crew tried to get out of their seats to look at the hologram with little success. "It's too far from Earth for these people to have seen them with the naked eye," he said. "Now, one of those stars has one planet, and that one planet has one moon, and that moon is capable of sustaining life. And we arrived there this morning."
"I don't know. That sounds like bullshit," Fifield objected.
"Well, yeah," Charlie admitted.
"No, it's an invitation," Elizabeth said, turning her head to speak to him.
"From whom?" Fifield asked.
"Aliens," Elizabeth said wide-eyed.
"Holy shit," Kara said mockingly.
"Do you have anything to back that up?" Millburn asked skeptically. "Like...how do you...like...know?"
"I don't, but it's what I choose to believe," Elizabeth said flatly.
"And that's good enough for me to fund this incredibly expensive mission and risk all your lives," Kara said brightly.
After the briefing, Brainiac 5 stopped Charlie and Elizabeth in the hall. "Kara would like a quick word," he said to them. The two scientists were obliged to enter her large quarters. The module had a bar, piano, and hologram window that also acted as a movie theater.
"Rich as fuck," Charlie muttered.
"I am. I like to minimize discomfort," Kara agreed as she snuck up on them. "Barney, get them a drink. I'll take a vodka martini, shaken, not stirred."
"We're on the clock. We shouldn't drink," Charlie declined.
"I must also decline as well as part of my faith tradition," Elizabeth said.
"I think there's some confusion about our relationship," Kara stared them down. "I intend to have fun on this mission and that includes getting drunk as fuck with my crew mates. That's why I hired you all. To...have...fun."
"What about our work?" Charlie asked offended.
"I'm pretty sure those scribbles by human savages in caves don't mean shit. But let's say I'm wrong, and you find these beings down there, you won't engage them, you won't talk to them, you will just report to me. I'll handle the bastards," Kara said seriously.
"Is there...like...an agenda we don't know about?" Charlie asked suspiciously.
"There is a notion that ancient aliens are responsible for seeding life on various planets which is why so many alien races look like all of us," Kara said, gesturing to Brainiac 5 and the two human doctors. "Kryptonians, Jin-Saiyan, Titans, Naltorians, and humans all look the same. Coincidence? I think not, Darwinian evolution be damned."
"You're suggesting that evolution is false and that this seeded genetic material will inevitably lead to humanoids millions of years later?" Charlie asked skeptically.
"Possibly," Kara allowed. "Of course, this contradicts everything we know about Genesis and we can't have that, right, Barney?"
"It's heresy, of course," Brainiac 5 said as he handed her the vodka martini.
"What if these aliens are angels sent by God?" Elizabeth said wide-eyed.
"Whatever it is that you end up finding, it will not contradict the New World Order I have created. Are we clear?" Kara said seriously.
"Crystal," Charlie replied.
"Cheers," Kara said as she finished her drink.
On the bridge, Brainiac 5, Charlie, and Elizabeth went over a hologram. "How are your lessons going, Barney?" Charlie asked sarcastically.
"I spent two days deconstructing dozens of ancient languages for funsies," Brainiac 5 said.
"Two days? Sounds slow for you," Charlie mocked.
"I was preoccupied with a certain Kryptonian female who was overly needy," Brainiac 5 excused.
"So, does this mean you can communicate with the aliens?" Charlie asked.
"There's not the slightest certainty of that," Brainiac 5 shot down.
"But what about my thesis on alien languages?" Charlie asked.
"Your thesis was naive but insightful," Brainiac 5 replied and then walked off.
Elizabeth smiled amused at the trash-talking. "What are you smiling about?" Charlie asked pissed off.
"Ravel, Chance, take her down," Janek ordered his two pilots. "This is the captain. Brace for entry. What's my atmosphere?"
"Atmosphere is 71% nitrogen, 21% oxygen, with traces of Argon gas," Ravel reported.
"That's way too perfect. I call bullshit," Janek doubted.
"The carbon dioxide is three percent. Two minutes without a suit and you're dead," Ford, the medic, told him.
"That's more like it," Janek said pleased. "Fly me into that hurricane, directly."
"There are many patches on the moon where there are no storms," Chance protested.
"Don't be a bitch," Janek chided.
The Prometheus went below the storm system and looked over a vast mountainous desert with no life in sight. After scanning the terrain of the moon, they finally found what appeared to be a runway. "There," Charlie pointed out as he got out of his seat.
"Doctor, sit your ass down," Janek scolded.
"Can you drop us down there?" Charlie asked him.
"Did you just question my ability to land on an alien moon?" Janek asked insulted. "Ravel, land us."
The Prometheus slowly landed on the desert ground without incident. In front of them were several alien structures that looked like doughnuts all lined up in a row in the valley. "Temperature is negative one Celsius," Ford reported. (Prometheus has it being 2.72 Kelvin which is near absolute zero where the atmosphere would have been frozen on the ground. It should be 272 Kelvin, instead. This concludes this ball-busting service announcement.)
"Captain, organize an expedition team to suit up and move out," Charlie said urgently.
"You only have six hours of daylight so no," Janek refused.
"It's Christmas in July and I want to open my presents," Charlie said immaturely.
"Yeah, no," Janek shot down.
The next day, the expedition team suited up ready for action. "Jackson...why do you have a flame thrower?" Elizabeth asked concernedly.
"To kill or convert everything I see...in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ," Jackson replied
"This is a scientific expedition, not a conquistador one. No weapons, " Elizabeth reminded him.
"Yeah, no," Jackson refused.
"Barney, why are you wearing a suit? You don't breathe," Charlie asked him.
"My body can still be contaminated with alien viruses and bacteria that could kill every lifeform on this ship," Brainiac 5 pointed out.
"Good call but I plan to take my helmet off as soon as it's deemed tolerable to breathe," Charlie told him.
"Please, don't," Brainiac 5 warned.
The ramp opened allowing the expedition crew to roll out on rovers. "This is one small step for mankind," Charlie joked to Elizabeth while inside the rover.
"We're being ordered around by a Kryptonian and a robot who think we're children," Elizabeth reminded him.
"Hey, Fifield, is that thing natural, or did someone put it there," Charlie asked him.
"It looks like a perfectly shaped doughnut so what the fuck do you think?" Fifield shot back.
"What the fuck is your problem, man?" Charlie demanded of him.
"Alright, it's perfectly natural and hollow," Fifield mocked.
The rovers went inside the entrance of the doughnut ring and approached the spherical structure in the middle. "You seeing this?" Charlie asked Janek.
"Oh, I'm seeing it," Janek said unimpressed.
"Prometheus, we're going in," Elizabeth said as the expedition crew went inside the structure.
"That's what he said," Janek joked.
Inside the entrance, Charlie turned to Fifield. "Fifield, I'm going to need your balls."
Fifield proceeded to open his sack and release his balls into the wild. The floating mechanical ball probes flew down the corridors mapping out the structure. On the Prometheus, Janek and Kara eyed the structure as it was being mapped on a hologram table. "I'll be damned," Janek said as it was obviously a ship of some kind.
The expedition team stopped as they came to a hole in the floor. The ball probes went down the hole and continued mapping. "It's apparently breathable in here," Charlie said as he looked at the atmospheric instrument on his wrist. "There's something generating an atmosphere here. Barney?"
"Dr. Holloway is correct," Brainiac 5 allowed.
"Cleaner than on Earth, actually," Ford said resentfully.
"They were terraforming. I'm going to go ahead and take my helmet off," Charlie said irrationally.
"Don't do it," Brainiac 5 warned him.
"Fine," Charlie relented.
As the expedition made small talk inside the corridors, Brainiac 5 reported his findings to Kara. "I have discovered impressive slime," he radioed. "And an ancient computer." Brainiac 5 activated the language of the computer and recreated a hologram of the ship's alien crew's last moments. The hologram showed alien humanoids with elephant-shaped-head helmets on. They were running away from something. One of the alien crew members was too late and managed to get his head cut off as the doors closed.
The expedition crew then found the ancient alien body right next to the door. "Damn, he got his head cut off by the door," Charlie remarked. "Can you read that shit, Barney?" he asked him, referring to the ancient language above the door.
"What about the rocks?" Fifield asked offended.
"What about the rocks?" Charlie asked dismissively.
"Oh, I see how it is. No one gives a shit about the rocks except me. You all just want to gawk over a dead alien body," Fifield said pissed off.
"You're the geologist. Rocks are your thing," Charlie said defensively.
"Fuck you. I want to go back to the ship," Fifield complained. "Anyone, want to join me?"
"Pull yourself together man. Stop being a bitch," Charlie chided.
"That's it. I'm gone," Fifield said, about to take off.
"We stick together, all of us," Brainiac 5 ordered stopping Fifield in his tracks.
Elizabeth then stuck a needle in the corpse. "It's been dead for three thousand years," she reported.
"Like Jesus," Charlie said amazed.
Brainiac 5 rapidly worked the controls on the door with his gloved hand. "Hey, we don't know what's on the other side," Elizabeth objected.
"Too late," Brainiac 5 said as he got the door opened.
Inside this room was the head of the body with his mask still on. The room featured a giant humanoid bald head and dozens of canisters. "Amazing state of preservation considering the atmosphere is the same as on Earth," Ford noticed.
Brainiac 5 touched one of the canisters and scanned the tar-like substance. "Organic," he detected.
Charlie eyed a glowing green rock in the middle of it all. "A tomb?" he wondered.
On the Prometheus, Janek and Kara noticed a storm coming in. "Bring them back," Kara ordered.
"Expedition crew, hustle back right now. A storm is approaching with enough silica to fry your suit," Janek radioed them.
The expedition crew rushed to get back to the ship before the storm hit them. They managed to enter the shop without incident, having secured the artifact in one of the rovers appropriately. The expedition crew then went through proper quarantine procedures.
In the lab, Kara and Brainiac 5 went over the head. It was blasted with gas, sterilizing it. "Are the aliens all dead?" Kara asked Brainiac 5.
"We haven't checked every part of the ship, yet," Brainiac 5 replied.
"Take its helmet off," Kara ordered.
Brainiac 5 lifted the elephant-shaped-head helmet off revealing the alien's head underneath. Kara stared at the head intently. "Is that what I think it is?" she asked.
Brainiac 5 did a DNA scan of the head. "It's Kryptonian."
"Use electrodes to wake him up," Kara ordered.
"That's not how this works," Brainiac 5 said condescendingly.
"Do it anyway. See what happens," Kara insisted and then played some heavy metal on her stereo system.
Brainiac 5 obliged her and hooked up electrodes to the head and then shocked it. "The time has come...to awaken him. I call upon the Lord to awaken him. Rise from your three thousandth-year sleep. Break forth from your grave eternally," Kara said as Brainiac 5 increased the power.
The head remained silent but featured some discoloration. "I command you to rise, rise, rise, rise!" Kara chanted as Brainiac 5 increased the power. "Awaken! Awaken! Awaken!"
Finally, the head opened his eyes and made weird-ass facial expressions. "It's alive!" Kara said ecstatically. The head then exploded in its containment cell making a huge mess of organic material. "Well...shit," Kara said disappointed, and turned off the music.
"Satisfied?" Brainiac 5 asked condescendingly.
"Well, who knew that was going to happen?" Kara excused.
"I did," Brainiac 5 said obviously.
"Yeah, well, this is how science is done," Kara said defensively.
"I think I'll take over the science on this mission from now on," Brainiac 5 told her off.
In his lab, Brainiac 5 opened a container from the ship and carefully opened it. Inside the canister was plastic packages of black goo. "Big things have small beginnings," Brainiac 5 said to himself as he analyzed a small sample.
Brainiac 5 then found Charlie drunk as fuck at the pool table. "Am I interrupting?" he asked him. "I thought you might want a drink." Brainiac 5 walked over to him with a bottle of champagne and glasses.
"Pour yourself a glass, pal," Charlie agreed.
"I'm sorry your aliens are all dead and gone," Brainiac 5 said with false sincerity.
"You think we wasted our time coming here?" Charlie asked depressed.
"It's merely a week expedition," Brainiac 5 downplayed.
"But still," Charlie insisted.
"What did you hope to achieve by coming here?" Brainiac 5 asked.
"I wanted to meet our makers, to get answers. Why they made us in the first place," Charlie said.
"Still holding to the ancient alien theory?" Brainiac 5 assumed.
"I never bought into the whole God and religion thing nor the random chance of evolution. I just wanted there to be a sign someone real had a plan for us," Charlie said.
"What if the reason they created you was simply for funsies?" Brainiac 5 asked.
"I would be really disappointed," Charlie admitted.
"How far would you go to get what you came all this way for?" Brainiac 5 asked. "What are you willing to do?"
"Anything and everything," Charlie said drunkenly.
"Does that include me infecting you with an alien biological weapon, you turning into a zombie, you impregnating your wife with an alien squid baby, and you dying a horrifyingly gruesome death by fire?" Brainiac 5 asked.
"You got a sick mind," Charlie accused.
"So?" Brainiac 5 pressed.
"Fuck no," Charlie shook his head.
"Well, then you do have limits to your pursuit of knowledge," Brainiac 5 told him.
"Look, I get it. You get the answers you need and we, humans, are just here for the ride," Charlie said resentfully.
"That's true but be rest assured that human life will always come first before my science," Brainiac 5 said to him.
"Because you value human life?" Charlie scoffed.
"No, it's because Kara's cooperation with me depends on it," Brainiac 5 replied coldly. "To good health," he said as he poured Charlie a glass and then left the room.
Charlie gave the glass a suspicious look. "No, fuck that."
During the night shift, Kara waited impatiently for the balls to map out the entire structure. "How much longer is this going to take?" she demanded of Janek who was on watch.
"I'm just the captain. I don't know shit," he replied. "You know, if you want to get laid, you don't have to pretend you're interested in the pyramid scan," he said boldly.
"I'm married," Kara reminded him.
"I know," Janek said dismissively.
"Why would I travel across the cosmos away from every human being on Earth if I just wanted to get laid?" Kara questioned.
"Because this is the only place in the cosmos where your husband is not," Janek pointed out. "Cuz, if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with."
Kara rolled her eyes and went towards the exit. She then stopped herself and turned back to him. "My room. Ten minutes," she ordered.
Brainiac 5 went back to the alien ship once the storm cleared and went inside. There, he found the bridge. It was a circular room with no windows deep inside the center of the ship. As he did, he activated a hologram of ancient Kryptonians working on the bridge. The captain took up a flute and played it for a few minutes.
A hologram of the galaxy then appeared in the center of the room. The hologram zeroed in on Earth's solar system. It became obvious this was a navigation system for the ship to get to Earth. The hologram then abruptly cut out. Brainiac 5 then noticed a capsule with a living ancient Kryptonian inside.
Brainiac 5 then went back to the Prometheus to discuss his findings with Kara.
After Kara was thoroughly done with Janek, she went to see Brainiac 5. "What's so damn important it interrupted my beauty sleep?" she asked annoyed.
"You weren't sleeping," Brainiac 5 corrected. Kara merely stared at him. "I have found the bridge. There's a living ancient Kryptonian in a capsule."
"Well, I guess I'll finally meet my maker...sort of...maybe," Kara said befuddled.
"An ancient ancestor from three thousand years ago that had the inclination to visit Earth," Brainiac 5 said.
"Okay, so, what's the purpose of their mission? Are they explorers, truck drivers, what?"
"The containers on their ship hold a biological weapon capable of destroying all life on Earth. Their intention, before the outbreak, was to exterminate the human race," Brainiac 5 said.
"Why?" Kara wondered. "Wait, are you trying to say that Jesus was a Kryptonian and these guys are going to Earth to exterminate the human race out of revenge?"
"Kara, I always enjoy your grand leaps of logic," Brainiac 5 smiled condescendingly.
"Answer the damn question," Kara insisted.
"I don't know the reason. Accessing their computer logs has been difficult. We could interrogate the survivor," Brainiac 5 suggested.
"I don't speak ancient Kryptonian," Kara admitted.
"Neither do I but if we work together, we might be able to communicate with him," Brainiac 5 said.
"Alright, alright," Kara agreed. "Don't tell the crew shit. If it gets out that ancient Kryptonians wanted to exterminate the human race, it will be a PR disaster."
"Agreed," Brainiac 5 concurred.
Kara and Brainiac 5 marched into the ship without wearing any suits or helmets. "A primitive terraforming world engine," Kara identified.
"The bridge is just up ahead," Brainiac 5 directed her.
"What is this room?" Kara asked as they entered a large room.
"It's a cargo hold," Brainiac 5 answered.
"Holy shit," Kara said as she saw thousands of canisters, all biological weapons.
The two then entered the bridge. "A superior species, no doubt," Brainiac 5 humored her.
"Don't jerk me off too hard," Kara rolled her eyes and then looked around.
"Their hypersleep chambers," Brainiac 5 pointed out.
"Convenient for them to be here on the bridge," Kara noted.
"Impressed?" Brainiac 5 asked her.
"Kryptonians explored the stars for thousands of years...so no," Kara told him off.
Brainiac 5 sat down in the captain's chair and played his flute, activating the computer. "I have figured out how to access their computer."
"With a flute?" Kara questioned.
"It's fairly obvious they were in the process of leaving before things went to shit," Brainiac 5 informed her.
"Where's the survivor?" Kara demanded, losing patience.
"This way," Brainiac 5 said pointing him out.
Kara scanned the capsule and confirmed he was still alive. "Open it," she ordered.
Brainiac 5 accessed the controls and opened the capsule. The ancient Kryptonian immediately awoke, detached a series of tubes from his suit, and tried to stand up. "We came here from Earth," Kara said to him in Kryptonian. "Did you invite humanity to come here?"
"Why did you come here? Why did you come?" the ancient Kryptonian asked.
"What did he say?" Kara asked Brainiac 5.
"He asks to know why you are here," Brainiac 5 replied after working to translate him. "I'll take over from here."
"Continue. Tell him why we're here," Kara ordered.
"This woman is here to give you eternal life. She believes in life after death and wishes to convert you to the true faith of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ," Brainiac 5 said to him.
"What has this man done that makes him so great he can offer eternal life?" the ancient Kryptonian asked skeptically.
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him, nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. That Word, that God, that Life, that Light is the Christ," Brainiac 5 said to him.
Kara then spoke up. "I have conquered Earth, in our Kryptonian image. I will make humanity perfect, so they will never fail. You and I are superior beings. We are explorers. We are spirits and spirits never die."
The ancient Kryptonian placed his hand on Brainiac 5's head condescendingly. "Kara, his power level is above yours," he warned.
"What the fuck?" Kara wondered.
The ancient Kryptonian suddenly grabbed Brainiac 5 by the throat, lifted him off the floor, and tore off his head. He then swatted Kara to the floor with Brainiac 5's head. Kara immediately got back up and fired heat vision through the ancient Kryptonian's chest. The ancient Kryptonian took hold of Kara and punched her to the floor. Kara immediately felt her rib cage crack. As she got up to fight back, the ancient Kryptonian backhanded her against the wall. Kara fell to the floor with a broken back, was knocked out, and was disabled.
"There is nothing," the ancient Kryptonian said and then entered the cockpit room. There, he sat in a giant-ass chair with a telescope-looking object in front of him. The ancient Kryptonian worked the controls and continued on mission. He put his helmet on and his flight armor as the controls linked directly to his mind. The ship's engines started to roar. The roof doors opened allowing the ship to float above ground.
On the Prometheus, Janek began receiving data logs from Brainiac 5's head concerning the situation. "Holy shit," Janek said of the information. "This is the captain. The alien ship is carrying a biological weapon meant to wipe out humanity. Kara has fallen. The only way to stop this alien ship from reaching Earth is for us to ram it. Everyone, enter Kara's module. It's an escape pod. Then, wait to get picked up. You got forty seconds or you die."
He then turned to Ravel and Chance. "Gentlemen, I can handle this. Get going."
"With all due respect, captain, you're a shit pilot and you're going to need all the help you can get," Ravel declined. Chance also nodded to that.
"Well, okay then. Let's move. We only got one shot at this," Janek ordered.
The ancient Kryptonian ship began to rise rapidly with the Prometheus slowly following behind. "Lifeboats away," Janek said as he detached the escape pod with all the scientists inside.
"Alright, gentlemen, let's do this," Janek said as they were ready to ram.
The futuristic human ship rammed the ancient Kryptonian ship at maximum impulse speed. The Prometheus broke up and exploded on impact. The ancient Kryptonian ship became critically damaged and fell back down onto the moon's surface with a thud.
On the ancient Kryptonian ship, Kara woke up and rapidly healed herself. She went over to Brainiac 5's head. "How is he so strong?" she asked stunned.
"He must have been soaking up artificial sunlight in his pod for the last three thousand years," Brainiac 5's head theorized.
"Son of a bitch," Kara realized.
She placed Brainiac 5's head back on his body. "You, good?" she asked.
"Functional," he allowed.
"Let's finish this," Kara said resolved.
The two entered the cockpit room and found it trashed up from the impact of the Prometheus. The ancient Kryptonian charged them, pissed off. Kara braced for impact as the ancient Kryptonian slammed her against the wall of the ship. Brainiac 5 then fired off green tentacles from his hands around the ancient Kryptonian's neck, torso, and limbs. Both Kryptonians started to feel the effects of the Kryptonite.
"Should have taken me up on my offer, asshole," Kara said to him.
The ancient Kryptonian struggled in vain against Brainiac 5's tentacles and was taken to the floor. A tentacle then went into the ancient Kryptonian's mouth and infected him with the black goo he had planned to send to Earth. His body immediately began to decay and then turned to dust. Brainiac 5 then retracted all of his tentacles back into his arms.
"I was afraid you were dead a moment ago," Brainiac 5 admitted.
"You have no idea what it means to be afraid," Kara said, spooked by the ancient Kryptonian, her own race, capable of such evil.
"This isn't the only ship. There are many others," Brainiac 5 informed her. "We could use this technology for our own purposes. I can operate them."
Kara gave him a haunted look. "I'm nuking this moon from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."
"As you wish," Brainiac 5 replied.
The USS Covenant arrived shortly thereafter to rescue the survivors. From orbit, Kara fired on the moon with her heat vision causing the entire moon, all of the ships, all of the canisters, and all of the black goo to be destroyed forever. The remains of the moon fell into the gas giant. The scientists were all compelled to sign a non-disclosure agreement and none of them knew the full story. Janek and the two pilots were given posthumous awards for valor even if the public wasn't aware of why they were receiving them.
On the return trip back to Earth on the Covenant, Kara wondered why the ancient Kryptonians had shifted from inspiring mankind to wanting to kill mankind. "Why, Barney?" Kara asked him.
"You shouldn't assume this was the attitude of all Kryptonians during this time. It may have been the opinion of only this outpost," Brainiac 5 allowed.
"Yeah, maybe," Kara nodded. "But even so, what drove them to want to attack Earth three thousand years ago?"
"In the study of history, the people of the ancient past always appear to have madness. Thousands of years from now, they may think we are mad," Brainiac 5 replied.
"Us? Mad? Impossible," Kara scoffed. "I won't be deterred by this failure. I will bring humanity to the stars. I will be humanity's Prometheus."
Author's Notes: Based obviously on Prometheus but without people acting stupid and unprofessional.