.

Loyalty and Limerence

Part 1

Chapter 13

Virmire

Virmire reminded Garrus of home. Its warm, humid air and tropical atmosphere whispered to him of days spent in the sun as a child, splashing through shallow creeks and sandy beaches with his sister in the days before their move to the Citadel for their father's career.

What he didn't like was the tight dread that had lodged itself between his shoulders, particularly now that they were grounded at the salarian camp outside Saren's base. Lightning lit up the sky in the distance followed by cracks of thunder periodically, doing nothing to help his nerves. He listened attentively from just behind Shepard as he talked with the captain, Kirrahe, about the situation, and watched with trepidation as Wrex got right up in the salarian's face before storming off.

"That's no good." Jane muttered from beside him, watching as Wrex made his way to the waterside at the other end of the camp. "I'm going to have a word with him." She added before turning and following the krogan. Garrus watched her for a moment before turning his attention back to the conversation. They were discussing a few minor details and going through questions at the moment, but it seemed to be winding down.

"- you can talk to Commander Rentola. He's in one of the tents nearby." Kirrahe finished before taking his leave to talk to his men. After a heartbeat, Shepard turned to them, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Looks like things are a bit of a mess." Kaidan said after a moment and Shepard nodded slowly in agreement.

"I agree. We'll see what the salarians come up with in regards to a plan, but we will need to be prepared for anything. I can't believe we stumbled upon his base of operations. Maybe we won't need to worry about the Mu Relay just yet after all." Shepard crossed his arms as he looked down at his own feet, apparently lost in thought and almost speaking to himself.

"I wouldn't be so worried if it wasn't for Wrex. He looked like he was about to blow a gasket." Ashley pointed out, and Shepard looked up at her, nodding in agreement.

"You think I should go talk to him?"

"It wouldn't hurt." She sounded hesitant, "Well, it might, actually. Just do it carefully." Garrus wondered if it would actually come to blows with Wrex. He had no doubt that they could handle him if it came to a fight, or at least he was mostly sure they could do it. But he had grown to like the old krogan over the past weeks aboard the Normandy, and something about having to shoot him didn't quite sit right. Looking up, his eyes searched out the red armored Wrex on the other side of the camp, and nearly reeled at the shock of the scene playing out there.

"Uh, Commander, I think you might need to go handle that now." Garrus exclaimed as he gestured in Wrex's direction before drawing his weapon. The three humans turned to see Wrex and Jane in a standoff, their own weapons drawn and aimed at each other, their voices raised. Garrus couldn't yet understand what they were saying, but took off after Shepard, who was running in their direction. As they got closer, he could begin to make out their words.

"- but if you harm one hair on his body, I will peel that oversized plate off your head with a dull knife." Jane spat, her eyes cold and her arm steady as she pointed her pistol at one of Wrex's only exposed weak points.

"Help me out here, Pyjack. The lines between friend and foe are getting a little blurry from where I stand." Wrex snapped, his own gun still leveled and aimed between her eyes.

"Whoa, whoa now!" Shepard yelled as he came to a sliding stop between the two, his arms outstretched as if to hold them apart. "What is going on here? I expect better from both of you." The concern and anger in his voice seemed to be enough to break through to Jane, who lowered her weapon.

"Wrex here is losing his mind, you need to talk sense into him. He wants to save these puppet krogan and is making threats if we stand in his way." Jane snarled, her voice barely civil as she glared past her brother at Wrex.

"Shepard, if I'm going to keep following you, I need to know we're doing it for the right reasons." Wrex growled, his weapon still drawn, but now pointed at the Commander's chest. Shepard took a deep breath, but didn't flinch as he made direct eye contact with the larger krogan.

"Wrex, these krogan aren't your people. They're slaves of Saren. Tools. Is that what you want for them?" Shepard's voice was placatory and calm, almost one would be when trying to sooth a scared or angry animal. The words seemed to sink in, though, and Garrus could almost see the cogs spinning in Wrex's head as his eyes scanned Shepard's face, searching for any sign of duplicity.

"No." He finally admitted, sighing. "We were tools for the council once. To thank us for wiping out the rachni, they neutered us all. I doubt Saren will be as generous." Finally, Wrex lowered his weapon, and Garrus felt himself let go of a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "All right, Shepard. You've made your point. I don't like this, but I trust you enough to follow your lead." The entire camp probably took a collective breath of relief, and Garrus could see Shepard and Jane both relax slightly. "Just one thing. When we find Saren, I want his head."

At that last, the two Shepard's expressions varied greatly. The Commander gave Wrex a stern look as if to say 'I don't think so, mister', while Jane's amused half smirk and raised eyebrow almost said 'not if I get him first.'

As Wrex walked away, Shepard turned to Jane and muttered something, causing her to glance down, clearly admonished.

"Yes, Sir. Sorry, Sir." She replied, standing up straight. After a minute, she added, "If it helps, he pulled his weapon first." Shepard snorted at that, not quite in disbelief. Jane's smile returned as he clapped her on the shoulder before walking back toward the tents as well.

"You sure do seem to attract trouble." Garrus stated as she came to join him, and they turned to follow Shepard.

"Like moths to a flame." After a moment, she turned to glance at him, her smile becoming more of a smirk. "By the way, Big Guy, if you want to have any hope of beating me before the next shore leave, you're going to have to do better."

Garrus glanced at the data in his visor display:

-Kill Count-

[GV: 103]

[JS: 110]

"Crap."

Garrus was already starting to feel exhaustion setting in as they slogged through the ankle deep water of the cloning facility. The telltale sound of the Normandy's engines were getting louder and louder as it came in for it's landing, and Garrus let himself feel a glimmer of hope as he watched the team descend the ramps with the bomb a few minutes later.

"Jenkins, get Liara up to the med bay, make sure Chakwas sees to her leg." Shepard directed as he motioned the young corporal over, gesturing to the limping asari he was supporting. Liara winced, the wound on her leg still bleeding, regardless of the applied medi-gel, and Jenkins picked her up as carefully as he could before slowly making his way back up into the ship.

"Bomb is in position, we're all set here." Kaidan informed them as he approached Shepard, who nodded in satisfaction. Garrus had been hesitant at first when Kirrahe had requested one of their team join him for the mission, but he thought Shepard had made the right call by sending Ashley. She was a very strong soldier, very capable of handling whatever was thrown at her. Kaidan's tech skills made him a much better choice for handling the cobbled together explosive.

"Commander, can you read me?" Ashley's static filled voice burst over their coms, and Garrus knew something was wrong immediately from the tightness in her voice.

"The nuke is almost ready. Get to the rendezvous point, Williams!" Shepard barked into his com, already turning to begin giving orders to the rest of the team.

"Negative, Commander. The geth have us pinned down on the AA tower. We've taken heavy casualties." Wide eyes met as the remaining ground team looked at one another with worry. "We'll never make the rendezvous point in time."

"Damn it." Jane muttered, running a hand through her hair in frustration.

"Get them out of there, Joker. Now!" Shepard shouted, his usual calm starting to crack as the situation began to crumble under their feet.

"Negative." Ashley's voice was ragged, she was clearly exhausted, "It's too hot! Can't risk it. We'll hold them off as long as we-" The line cut off suddenly as though Ashley had been forced to disconnect. At least, Garrus hoped that was the reason, and not something more final. Shepard didn't move, his eyes darting as he considered his next steps. Garrus had never seen the Commander so stressed, he wished there was more he could do to help. But deep down, he knew he was glad he wasn't the one having to make this decision.

"It's okay, Commander." Kaidan said as he turned back to the bomb, clearly also having read Shepard's indecision, "I need a couple minutes to finish arming the bomb. Get them and meet me back here."

"Tali, stay here and help Kaidan arm the bomb. I want that thing ready to go ASAP, understood?" Shepard snapped, turning to face the young quarian. She stood up straighter and nodded before quickly hurrying to help Kaidan. "Jane, Garrus, Wrex. Up to the AA tower. Move!"

Nodding, the three of them followed Shepard as he hurried for the large door leading off from the main area. Behind them, the Normandy took off, heading to pick up one of the other salarain teams that had arrived at their pick up location. With any luck, everyone would make it out of this okay.

After plowing through a group of tank bred krogan, the ground team made their way to an elevator leading up toward the AA tower. Anxiety pierced the air around them like a knife as they waited for the slow machine to carry them upwards. The only sound beside the clunks of the machine was the quick, nervous taps coming from the feet of both the Shepards. Finally, the door opened and they poured out, hurrying along the rooftops. After a moment, however, Garrus could hear the now distinctive sound of a geth ship growing louder.

"Reinforcements. We'd better hurry." Garrus called out, feeling something in his stomach sink as he considered the possible ramifications. If they sent a squad to target the bomb, everything they'd done so far would be for nothing. Like clockwork, Ashley's voice crackled in their coms again.

"Heads up, LT. We just spotted a troop shipping headed to your location." At least she was still alive.

"It's already here. There's geth pouring out all over the bomb site." Came Kaidan's panicked reply, and Shepard's eyes went wide.

"Hold on, Lieutenant. I'm coming back to get you." Was his immediate reply, and Garrus nodded. It was the right call, the bomb was the most important thing. If that didn't go off, Saren was going to have an army of krogan at his back. That was the last thing they needed.

"Negative. There's just too many of them. I don't think we can hold them off." As the words washed over Shepard, he took a few steps forward, his eyes darting as he raced to think up a solution. Jane was pacing back and forth, a hand brought up to her chin in consideration. Wrex stood still next to Garrus, a calm, unreadable mountain except for the tightness in his jaw. "I'm activating the bomb."

"What?!" Jane yelled, turning to face her brother with wide eyes.

"Alenko, what are you doing?" Shepard demanded, his voice loud and heated.

"I'm just making sure this bomb goes off. No matter what." The determination in Kaidan's voice was final, and Garrus felt himself take a sharp breath in. The Commander turned and walked to the railing, grabbing it tightly. Garrus wondered if it was for support. His own knees were starting to feel shaky. "It's done, Commander. Go get Williams and get the hell out of here." Shepard turned slowly and looked each of them in the eyes, his face now devoid of emotion.

"Screw that. We can handle ourselves. Go back and get Alenko." Ashley snapped with her usual roughness, and Garrus would have smiled had the situation not been so serious. There was only time to get one of them, and it was going to have to come down to the numbers. To ruthless calculus.

Shepard looked up into the sky as if hoping the clouds would part, bestowing the answer upon him. But Garrus knew which decision he was going to have to make, they all did. Only one thing mattered.

"Alenko. Radio Joker and tell him to meet us at the bomb site." The words left the Commander's lips as though ripped against his own will, falling flat and heavy upon their ears.

"Yes, Commander. I-"

"You know it's the right choice, LT." Ashley's voice broke slightly, betraying her strong facade as the bravado it was. Deep down, she must be terrified, knowing her fate was decided for her. Garrus shut his eyes, hanging his head, and silently asked the Spirits to watch over her. It had been some time since he'd honestly thought about them, but if ever there was a time, it was now.

"Send me." Garrus' eye snapped open, and he felt his heart thud loudly in his chest as he turned to lay eyes on a determined looking Jane.

"No." Was Shepard's immediate reply without even bothering to look at her.

"Why not? I'm an infiltration specialist, this is literally what I am trained for. You guys go back and protect the bomb, while I get up there without drawing attention to myself. I can get her out of there and get back to the bomb site in no time."

"I said no! Letting you go would be a death sentence!" Shepard shouted, rounding on her, his eyes wide with anger. Jane took a startled step backwards before squaring her shoulders. She took a step forward, her eyes narrowing.

"We don't have time for this. You need to trust me."

"No. That's an order, lieutenant." Her back went ramrod straight at the order, but her eyes narrowed. She was clearly battling with half a lifetime of military training.

"I can save her, John!"

"I'm not losing two of my men today. Get your ass in that elevator. Don't make me carry you." They stood there like that for a heartbeat, neither blinking or breaking eye contact. Suddenly, Shepard jerked forward as if to grab her arm, but Jane spun around and sprinted down the walkway toward the entrance to the AA tower.

"Jane, get back here NOW!" Shepard screamed and took a few steps after her before stopping. She was almost to the door already, and it was clear she was much faster than the larger, more heavily armed Commander. "This is direct insubordination!" Garrus could hear the near panic lacing his words now. Without responding, she quickly palmed the door controls, darted through and leapt over the railing toward the elevator below. Shepard hesitated for a moment before turning toward the breeding facility elevator they'd taken before.

"Fuck!" He roared as he took off, making the decision his head knew to be correct, even if his heart disagreed. Wrex followed at a trot, and Garrus felt himself hesitate, his feet as heavy as lead. "Come on, Garrus, we need to hurry." Cursing under his breath, Garrus turned and ran after Shepard.

Returning to the bomb site was all a blur, Garrus felt like he was starting to tunnel vision. Was he in shock? What was even going on anymore? All he could do was numbly follow after Shepard, a voice niggling at him in the back of his head that he should have done… something. Anything! He'd just… let her run off. For what? Some half brained rescue mission? She'd refused to respond to Shepard's attempts to hail her on the coms, and if Ashley's silence was any judge, Garrus was almost willing to bet that Jane had set up a private com channel with her.

Even as they arrived and dove right into the battle with the geth around the bomb, Garrus felt as though he were on autopilot. He aimed, shot, returned to cover over and over, the thoughts in his brain finally giving over to white noise and the thudding of his heart in his ears. He barely registered Tali and Kaidan, each having sustained injuries as they attempted to hold the geth back and protect the bomb.

"Get down! Take cover!" He heard Shepard yell as they were suddenly bombarded with biotic attacks from above. "Saren's here!" Garrus felt his jaw go slack as the white armored turian descended from the sky on some sort of hoverboard, his taloned hands glowing blue. Why now? Was this really happening? After everything that had happened, was it all to be undone now? Were they all going to die here when that bomb went off?

As they all dove into cover, Saren leapt down into the water. His eyes locked in on where Shepard had disappeared behind a pillar, and he strode forward with nonchalant purpose. He seemed content to talk at first, and Shepard did his best to get as much information out of him as possible. But Garrus could feel the tension emanating off the Commander in waves. They had so little time left.

The battle could only be described as desperate and messy. For a few minutes, it seemed like they had the upper hand, pushing Saren back and forcing him on the defensive. But Garrus felt like he blinked and suddenly, Saren was holding Shepard up by the neck, slowly choking the life out of him. Garrus raised his weapon, but the Commander's struggling made it difficult to get a clear shot from his angle.

Without any warning, the bomb started to emit a loud, low, pulsing wail, causing Saren to look away just long enough for Shepard to raise his fist and deal him a blow to the side of the head. As Shepard landed with a splash in the water, Garrus and Wrex hurried over to him. Saren retreated to his waiting hoverboard, having understood the meaning of the bombs wailing. Garrus raised his pistol and fired off a few desperate shots as he escaped, but all in vain. Holstering his weapon, he looked to see that Shepard was okay before walking over to Tali and offering her a hand. She took it gratefully and he pulled her to her feet.

Shepard, who'd managed to get to his own feet, hurried over to Kaidan, and gave him a strained smile as he offered him a hand up. As if on cue, the Normandy appeared overhead, landing as close as it dared. After realizing the extent of Kaidan's injuries, Shepard didn't even hesitate as he slung the other man over his shoulder before turning toward the ship's ramp.

"Move, move, move!" He yelled at them as they all took running, their feet splashing through the water. The ramp began to close before they had even fully cleared it into the cargo bay, and the Commander immediately put Kaidan down before dashing toward the elevator. "Joker, did Jane radio you for a pick up yet?" The door opened, and Garrus followed Shepard as he quickly entered before smashing the close button.

"Negative, Commander. But we need to get out of here. Fast."

"Okay, bring us around to the AA tower, we'll extract them and get out of here."

"No can do, Commander. We have like… seconds before we're nothing but dust, and the action is still too hot over there." The doors opened and Shepard sprinted toward the stairs, Garrus hot on his heels.

"We can't just leave her, Commander." Garrus hissed, but he knew it was futile. What was the point of picking them up if they all died in the explosion?

"I know. Shit." Together they ran through the CIC into the cockpit, where Joker was navigating them away from the breeding facility, quickly ascending. Joker glanced back at them, seeming stuck between doing what he knew had to be done and waiting for orders from his commanding officer. Shepard, for what had to be the millionth time that day, stood there, torn.

"Commander…?" The anxiety in Joker's voice was palpable as his fingers hovered over the controls.

"...Fuck! Get us out of here, Joker!" Shepard shouted, his voice cracking and Garrus could tell from the glassiness of his eyes that it reflected the breaking of his heart.

"All right, everybody, hang on!" The ship accelerated at what had to be its fastest pace, picking up speed at an unbelievable rate. "Detonation in 3…2…1-"

The light from the explosion behind them lit up the cockpit, but they were too far away to feel the reverberation from the shockwave. And yet, Garrus could have sworn he felt something hit him over the head as the realization set in: They were dead.

"Jane! Jane, come in! Damn it, Jane Shepard, if you don't answer me, I swear to God… Ashley! Someone, answer me, God damn it!" Shepard's attempts to hail either of them on the coms echoed in Garrus' ears as if from down a tunnel.

Jane Shepard and Ashley Williams were dead.

Jane was dead.