.

Loyalty and Limerence

Part 1

Chapter 16

The Citadel

"You have got to be shitting me." Jane sneered under her breath from beside Garrus as they stood off to the side in the Council's audience hall yet again. "Fucking idiots. Everyone is going to die and it will be their fault." Cold rage seemed to emanate from the human woman as the ground team stood around Shepard, listening as he explained the Normandy's current status.

"Can Udina even do that? Ground the Normandy? You're a Spectre, he's just the human ambassador. Surely he has no jurisdiction to stop you from doing what you see fit?" Kaidan protested, his thoughts joined by murmurs of agreement from others.

"Well, if I wanted to purchase my own ship, I could probably leave, no problem." Shepard explained evenly, "The Nomandy, however, still belongs to the Alliance, and you three," He gestured to Jane, Ashley, and Kaidan, "Along with the rest of the crew still aboard, you're all Alliance, too. If the Alliance says you can't leave, then that's that."

"So, what? We're just going to sit here and twiddle our thumbs?" Ashley protested, frustrated outrage painting her face. Garrus saw similar expressions of disgruntlement coloring the faces of the rest of the team, as well. Had they really come this far, fought this hard, for nothing? Was Sovereign really going to get away with whatever it was they were planning to do with the conduit while they sat around on the Citadel?

"I don't know." Shepard sighed, raising a hand to his face in exhaustion. "Let's head back to the Normandy, see if we can think up some sort of battle plan." Silently, they all nodded and fell in with him and he turned to leave.

"Okay, so let's get you your own ship, then. If you're allowed to leave, then we should do what we can to chase after Saren." The familiar voice drifted down the hall as soon as the elevator door opened, and Garrus tried not to think about the sudden thud of his heart in his chest as he recognized the speaker.

"Jane, I don't think that will work. Plus, I'd be leaving you all behind." He turned the corner and paused as he saw Jane and the Commander standing near the lockers in the mess hall, apparently in a heated discussion about their next steps.

"Well, I'd go with you, and I know Garrus will go with you, as well as Tali, Wrex, and Liara. The Alliance has no say in what they choose to do. The rest of the crew, I guess they just stay here in case the Citadel really is attacked."

"I don't know, Jane. Without the Normandy's stealth systems, I don't think we'd stand a chance of sneaking past Sovereign and the geth, and making it down to the surface." From where he stood, Garrus watched as the two stood there, silent and glum as they both stared holes through the floor in frustration. After a moment, Jane's voice broke the silence.

"It can't end like this, John. We've come so far, done so much. All for what?"

"I know."

"We can't let him win."

"I know."

"Everyone's going to die if we can't figure this out."

"I know." Shepard brought his hand up to rest upon his sister's shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze. "There's an answer out there, and we'll find it. You just have to have faith." Jane's eyes squeezed shut, a pained expression on her face for a moment before she seemed to relax. She gave a quick nod before looking up at her brother.

"I know. You're right." She opened her mouth to continue, but was interrupted by a voice over the intercom.

"Sorry to interrupt." Came Joker's voice, "Got a message from Captain Anderson."

"Forward it to me." Shepard instructed, removing his hand from Jane's shoulder as he pulled up his omni-tool. Jane moved along side him, watching over his shoulder as he pulled up the message. Garrus chose that moment to join them.

"Anything interesting?" He asked, watching as two sets of human eyes lifted to watch him enter the room. He looked from one to the other, his own eyes resting upon Jane's green a half beat longer than strictly necessary. His belly did a treacherous little flip as she grinned.

"Suit up, Garrus." Came his Commander's instructions, a hint of excitement in his voice, "Looks like things might just get interesting after all."

Garrus didn't really know what to expect from their unexpected meeting with Anderson in Flux. Though they had had some run-ins since he joined up with Shepard, he'd never really had a chance to get to know the older human officer. He did know some about him from new clips over the years, but not much that he remembered off the top of his head. But he seemed like a genuine, albeit hard, man. He had clearly seen action, experienced hardships, and come through it all a wiser man, rather than a spiteful one. Garrus could respect that.

Regardless, he had his reservations when they sat down with him in a back corner of Flux, the rhythm and bodies undulating around them. There was probably very little in this man's power to help them, and Garrus wasn't sure he'd have trusted him if not for the Shepards' clear affection for the older man. He thought back to Jane's story about how Anderson had helped get them off the streets and into the Alliance, and added in the fact that he knew Shepard had served under him prior to being stationed on the Normandy. Given Anderson's outspoken views against Saren, Garrus decided to keep an open mind going into the conversation.

As they settled in at the table across from the older human, Garrus glanced at the two Shepards' and felt warmth start to creep up his neck as he noticed the fond smile Jane wore as they exchanged greetings. Garrus wondered idly if the Captain had become something of a father figure to them, and couldn't help but smile at the thought.

"-if we override the ambassador's order we can get them to bring the Normandy back on-line." Garrus' attention shot back to Anderson as he finally processed the direction of the conversation. He felt his eyes grow wide as the word's meaning set in. "You can be in the Terminus Systems before anyone even knows you're gone." There was silence at the table as the suggestion sunk in.

"If we steal the Normandy," Shepard paused, looking Anderson directly in the eye, "You're the one left holding the bag."

"And if Saren finds the Conduit, life as we know it is over. The Reapers will destroy us. Humans, asari, everybody!" Anderson shot back at him, his eyes narrowing. "You're the only one who can stop him, Shepard. So I'll do whatever it takes to get you on the Normandy and off this station." Garrus felt his eyes linger on the human Captain, reevaluating his initial impressions of the man. This man who would consign himself to the Alliance's wrath for assisting the Normandy in its quest for the galaxy's salvation.

"We're not going to leave you hanging out to dry, Anderson. That helps no one." Jane interjected, her voice sharp as crossed her arms from where she stood behind her brother.

"What's your plan, exactly?" Shepard leaned back, crossing his arms as he tilted his head curiously. Anderson smiled as he leaned forward.

"I can unlock the Normandy from one of the consoles in the Citadel control center. You'll have a few minutes before anyone realizes what's happened." Garrus felt his stomach sink as the words settled on him, his mind racing.

"That's a restricted area," Garrus pointed out as he stepped forward, keeping his voice as low as he could in the thrumming club, "It's patrolled by armed guards. How are you going to get in?" Three pairs of human eyes turned to him, but he kept his eyes trained on the Captain. Garrus quickly visualized the layout of the control tower and the guards stationed there. Without some sort of extreme distraction, he wasn't sure even he could manage a stunt like that. In one piece.

"Leave that to me." Anderson retorted as he narrowed his eyes, "Just make sure you're in the Normandy when the systems come back on-line."

"You're going to get yourself killed!" Jane shot back at him, slapping her hand down on the table, causing it to rock.

"There has to be another way." Shepard raised his hand in a gesture for Jane to stand down before turning back to Anderson.

"Well," Anderson sat back, bringing a hand up to his chin in contemplation, "Ambassador Udina issued the lockdown order. If I can hack into the computer in his office, maybe I can override it." There was another moment of silence as they all considered the new plan.

"He's not going to just let you waltz into his office and use his computer, Anderson." Jane muttered and Shepard nodded in agreement.

"Hopefully, he won't be there. If he is, I'll-" He floundered for a moment, waving his hand airily, "I'll just have to think of something."

"If you got caught, which you probably would, no offense Sir, you'd be charged with treason, a capital offense." Jane pointed out as she stepped forward to place her hands on the table, leaning forward.

"I agree, we need you to be in a position to help direct the fleet in Saren really does attack the Citadel. We can't afford to have you end up in lock down for picking a fight with the Ambassador." Shepard crossed his arms, his eyebrows knitting together in concern.

"I'll do it." Garrus wasn't sure why he was surprised as Jane's words fell, honestly. But he was. Everyone turned to face her. "I'll do it, it makes sense. I can get in and out of there unseen, and if Udina is there, I can handle him quietly. I can also probably hack the system faster than you could, Anderson. Once again, no offense."

"None taken, you're probably right. You're much better with technology than this old soldier." Anderson muttered with a crooked smile as he crossed his arms.

"Jane, no. If anyone saw you, you'd be arrested. I won't let you take that chance."

"Commander, it's our best bet. If we're stealing the Normandy, I'm already disobeying orders at best, deserting at worst. What's one more charge against me? In for a penny, in for a pound. This way, Anderson is still clean."

"Would you be able to make it back to the Normandy in time before we leave?" Jane seemed to consider this for a moment, before nodding.

"I… think so. If Anderson can help with a diversion, and possibly with some help from Tali in scrambling security and communications, I should be able to high tail it back to the dock before anyone notices something's wrong."

"If you think you can handle it, that's probably our best bet." Anderson nodded, his face thoughtful. Shepard seemed torn still, but finally he took a deep breath and nodded.

"I don't like it, but if it's what has to be done, then let's get to it."

Garrus couldn't help the anxiety bubbling up in his chest as they parted ways with Jane before heading back to the docks. He trusted in her abilities, hell, he knew she could wipe the floor with him. He knew she was more than capable of sneaking into the ambassador's office. But these weird, new feelings he was harboring made everything feel… different somehow. Jane was no longer just a crewmate, or even just a friend.

She was–

"Garrus." His head shot up and he looked at Shepard in confusion. "You coming?" Reality returned as he snapped out of his thoughts. Taking a breath, he stepped out of the elevator and followed after Shepard as he headed toward the Normandy's airlock.

As they entered the CIC, the Commander beelined straight for his XO, Pressly, and started a quiet, hurried conversation as he grabbed a datapad to pull up some information. Garrus followed after him, albeit at a slower pace. Soon, Pressly was scurrying away to disseminate orders throughout the deck, and Shepard turned to head toward the cockpit, gesturing for Garrus to follow.

As Shepard quickly explained the results of their meeting to Joker, Garrus' thoughts returned to the events currently playing out in the embassies. He knew Jane was trained in infiltration and subterfuge, but he hadn't had much chance to see her actually utilize those skills. Occasionally there was need for them in their battles, but she'd often been sent ahead alone. She generally seemed to be such a force of nature, the kind of person who faces the world head on with no apologies. It was hard to think of her as the kind of person who could go unnoticed. His eyes had been drawn to her from the start, if he was being honest with himself.

"Intercom's on, you're up, Commander." Joker muttered and Shepard leaned forward over the pilot's seat. He took a deep breath before he started.

"Listen up, Normandy. As you may be aware, we've been grounded until further notice, which has effectively stalled our mission to beat Saren to the conduit. Lieutenant Shepard is currently hacking the ambassador's computer and will shortly be unlocking our systems, allowing us to leave and continue the hunt." Shepard paused, allowing the words to settle before he continued.

"Right now, you have a choice. If you choose to stay, we will be disobeying direct orders and stealing the Normandy."

"Wouldn't be my first time…" Joker muttered under his breath, causing Shepard to roll his eyes. Garrus noticed his small smile, though.

"Between now and the time we leave the dock," Shepard continued, "You may choose to leave and return to the Citadel, no questions asked. I will not force anyone to commit this crime, the choice will be yours, and I will not judge you. But the mission ahead of us may be the difference between life or death for every person in this galaxy. The Reapers are coming, and if we don't stop Saren, they will kill everyone we love. They will have no mercy." Once again, Shepard paused to let the words sink in, and Garrus could feel the weight of them upon his own shoulders. Finally, Shepard took another deep breath.

"The choice is yours. Either way, it has been an honor serving with each and every one of you."

The cockpit was silent after that, no one moved except to look down at the holodisplay sitting before Joker as it glared an angry red up at them. The minutes dragged on, and Garrus wasn't sure how long they stood there just staring at it. He didn't need to turn to see that not a single soul fled through the airlock. He'd known they wouldn't.

The holodisplay remained red, and the tension in the room continued to climb minute by minute like the late day heat in the height of a stifling summer. Slowly, Garrus could feel it tightening around his chest, clenching around his belly, causing his limbs to feel fidgety and restless.

They seemed to edge closer to the glowing red display, the same questions racing through their minds. Had she made it into the embassies? Had she encountered resistance, unforeseen difficulties? Had she been caught? They had agreed on radio silence until the deed was done and she could make her get away, but it made for an anxious wait in the meanwhile.

When it finally came, the flash of green of the lock disengaging was like a cool summer rainstorm, breaking the heat and delivering a much needed breath of relief throughout the room. As the Normandy's systems came back online, the nervous energy in the room evaporated as the tension suddenly drained out of them.

"Shepard to Normandy, systems should be good to go." Jane's voice came through the com a minute or two later. "Everything went smoothly, thanks to Tali's security hack. In and out, no problems. Anderson is heading off an interference now, and I'm booking it back to the dock. ETA in… ten minutes."

"I've got a chocolate bar here that says you can make it in nine." The Commander grinned as he leaned over the com display, crossing his arms. Garrus could hear the grin in Jane's voice as she replied.

"Oh, you're on, Boss."