.
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 3
Chapter 8
Sur'Kesh
"Get back!" Shepard's words barely registered as Garrus reacted before he could think. The force of the explosion hit him hard. Light and sound saturated his senses until the ground collided with him sharply and he slid to a stop as pain enveloped him.
As the ringing in his ears faded and his vision began clearing, he heard a groan from nearby. He shifted and looked down to see Jane sheltered in his arms where they lay some distance away from the mangled, burning elevator shaft. Her eyes flickered open and she looked up as she seemed to come back to herself.
"You okay?" Garrus asked quietly, his voice gruff as he winced.
"I think so." She whispered, blinking her eyes as she attempted to focus them.
"Commander Shepard! Are you alright?" A salarian cried out, and Jane's head snapped up. Garrus moved, allowing her to push herself back up to her feet, and he quickly followed. Nearby, Shepard was pulling himself up as he groaned, along with the rest of the team. There didn't appear to be too many injuries, and none serious.
Spirits, that had been close.
"Is there another way out of here?" Shepard asked as he looked around, his voice hoarse.
"Other side of the lab. An emergency exit." The researcher stated as he frantically returned his attention to his console. "I can open it from here!" Without further delay, the team hurried across the lab toward the door at the far end of the room.
"Shepard," Mordin's voice barked through the comm, "Cerberus forces trying to locate females. Quarantine checkpoint under attack. Hurry!"
"Goddamn it." Shepard muttered as they reached the door. It opened without protest, and they found themselves in a small room with nothing but a ladder leading upwards. Garrus cursed. Ladders had never been his favorite thing in the world, and armor just made them worse.
"Shepard, it's Wrex!" Another voice emanated from their comm as Shepard began the climb. "I took the shuttle! Do whatever it takes to get the females up to the landing pad!"
"I'm sure Cortez is just loving that." Garrus snorted as he followed Shepard upwards, Jane hot on his heels.
"Copy that, Wrex. We'll do our best." Shepard replied in a clipped voice as he pulled himself up onto the landing above.
"I'll try to make life miserable for Cerberus!" The comm cut off, and Shepard turned to offer Garrus a hand as he reached the top of the ladder. They could hear the nearby sounds of gunfire and shouts as the salarian troops fought off Cerberus agents.
They appeared to be above ground now, though still on one of the lowest levels of the complex they'd landed upon. Garrus frowned as he realized how much distance they would have to cover to get the females up to the landing pad.
Before the rest of the team had even emerged from the emergency exit, Shepard began leading them onwards toward the quarantine checkpoint. Very quickly, they encountered Cerberus troops, dispatching them as they came. Interestingly, the soldiers they encountered seemed surprised to encounter resistance that were not salarians, which ruined Garrus' hypothesis that Cerberus had followed them to Sur'kesh. Had Cerberus planted a mole amongst the STG? Had they been spying on Mordin and Maelon's efforts to devise a cure for the genophage? It was the only explanation that made sense.
They continued fighting as questions swam through Garrus' mind. Room by room, they took out every Cerberus troop they encountered as Mordin and Maelon became more and more anxious. One thing was for sure, those females weren't going to be able to stand up to the kind of firepower that Cerberus had brought with them. Shepard ushered them onwards at a breakneck pace.
"Shepard, Cerberus is closing in on us, please hurry!" Maelon urged in a panic. They ducked into a hallway, but as they were about to turn a corner, Shepard's head whipped to the right, his eyes going wide.
"Watch out!" He yelled as he threw himself to the ground. Garrus threw his arm out, blocking Jane's way as the door before them exploded outwards, a screaming yahg standing in the ruined doorway. It thrust itself forward, bellowing so loudly that the entire hallway seemed to shake.
It turned toward Shepard where he lay dazed and raised a fist as it prepared to attack. Without so much as blinking, Liara darted past them as her biotics sprung up around her.
"Not this time, you brute!" She yelled as flung her arms outward, catching the creature in a biotic field. It roared in anger as its feet left the ground, its arms flailing as it began to twist in midair. With a flick of her wrist, the yahg was flung through the window, at which point the mass effect field surrounding it vanished. Liara's eyes were hard, one corner of her lips twitching upwards in a satisfied smile as the beast plummeted.
"Damn, Doc! That was cut-throat!" Vega whistled as Liara readjusted her suit before offering Shepard a hand up. Liara's smile was somewhat enigmatic as she replied.
"I've learned not to underestimate the yahg."
"It's interesting what you learn when you're forced to fight one face-to-face." Garrus added as he gave Liara a smile, and she nodded as her smile warmed. They hurried onwards, vaulting over debris and low walls as they made their way toward a set of stairs. They encountered another group of Cerberus agents as they crested the top landing.
"They've found us!" Maelon shouted, followed by Mordin's calmer but equally urgent statement.
"Cerberus attempting to kill krogan. Need assistance!"
Just ahead, Garrus could see the checkpoint. The quarantine pod the two salarians had used to bring the three females up from the lab was parked by the console, the blue of the force field protecting them sparking as they took fire.
"Light 'em up!" Shepard ordered, and they all dove into cover before opening fire. Garrus pulled out his rifle and took aim. Before he could pull the trigger, he watched a shield-bearing trooper collapse in a spray of blood as Jane's shot took him through the barrier's narrow vision slot.
"Nice one!" He called out, and he didn't have to look at her to know she was grinning.
"I'm just getting warmed up!" She replied smugly, and he felt affection warm his belly as he returned his focus to the task at hand.
"They're not going to last long under this kind of assault! We need to get in there!" Ashley yelled before ducking out of cover to take out an engineer as he attempted to set up a turret. Kaidan took the chance to stand and throw a biotic blast toward the troops, throwing them back.
As the last Cerberus soldier fell, Shepard darted toward the console and initiated the quarantine checkpoint clearance. As he flicked through the display, he glanced up at Mordin through the window.
"Are you okay?" He asked quickly before looking back down at the display before him.
"Containment shield is holding."
"We can probably repair it if necessary." Maelon added quickly before looking over at the three females crowded in with them. "The same cannot be said of the females." One of the krogan, the tallest of the three, shifted her gaze to take in Shepard and the rest of his team.
"We're fine." She snapped, and her eyes flashed as they continued to bore into him. Garrus shivered, there was something in the intensity of her gaze that made him feel unsettled.
Mordin and Maelon began debating the possibility of the STG being compromised and why Cerberus could possibly want to kill the krogan females. But all the while, the woman's eyes never left Shepard.
"This isn't your problem, Commander. You don't know us." She interrupted, the unstated question clear as her eyes narrowed. Shepard looked up as he hit the final keystroke and pressed the button to clear them through the checkpoint.
"No, but I'd like to." Shepard replied with a kind smile, his voice softening. "Hang in there." He added as the elevator jerked and continued its journey upwards.
That was one of the things that was so compelling about Shepard, and Jane, too, to a lesser degree. He seemed to genuinely care in a way that was rare these days. While he wouldn't wish a political career on anyone, let alone Shepard, Garrus took a moment to appreciate that he would be very good at it if he decided to try someday.
"What's taking so long, Shepard? You getting old? Take those bastards out and get your ass back up here!" Wrex bellowed through the comms, resulting in a frustrated sigh from Shepard and a chuckle from everyone else. "Saren and his goons were much worse than these clowns."
"Wrex hasn't exactly mellowed with age, has he?" Garrus muttered with a grin, to which Shepard rolled his eyes and Jane barked a laugh as she shook her head.
They pressed on. Floor by floor, check point by check point, Mordin and Maelon escorted the females closer and closer to the top as the ground team cleared out every Cerberus team they encountered. Finally, after what felt like hours, they arrived on the top floor where they'd first landed.
"We're almost back to the landing area!" Ashley called out as she scaled the final ladder, and one by one they followed her out into the bright, dappled sunlight. The sun was starting down toward the horizon, the light amber and golden as it peeked down the lush green valley. Even as Garrus noticed the beauty, a squad of Cerberus troops landed from drop ships above in a flurry of gunfire.
"Shepard! They found us!" Mordin called out through the comm from where they huddled across the wide open space in the pod. "Under heavy attack!" They quickly took up positions and began taking them out one by one, the air becoming thick with the smell of smoke, ozone, and blood.
The final Cerberus trooper finally fell with a shot between the eyes, but Garrus' eyes continued scanning for additional reinforcements. "Appears safe." Mordin called out, "Need final approval now, Shepard."
Shepard hurried over to the console by the pod and began typing into the holo display. "We won't be able to exit until you authorize the release." Maelon explained from behind the barrier, and Shepard nodded as he searched for the necessary interface. "That should initiate the transfer process for the pod to the landing area."
"Gottcha." Shepard finalized the authorization and hit the release button triumphantly. "Let's get you out of there." The pod containing the three krogan jerked and began rising into the air again, leaving behind the two salarians. Shepard's ground team watched from below as a pronged lift started forward to grab the pod before lifting it into the air.
"Shepard, heads up!" Wrex yelled through the comm, making Garrus jump at the suddenness. "You've got incoming!"
"What-" Garrus began to ask just as a hint of movement caught his eye from above. The ground shook and he nearly lost his footing as something huge hit the ground right where the shuttle had sat earlier that day. A chill tingled the base of his skull before it ran down his spine and seeped into his veins.
The Atlas mech slowly unfurled itself before them. Garrus and the rest of the team around him took a hesitant step backwards as they struggled to process the sudden appearance, but they quickly snapped to attention as it raised its main gun.
"Get down!" Jane screamed as they all threw themselves behind the nearest cover. The explosion reverberated through Garrus like the crashing of a gong, debris pelting them. As the dust settled, he looked up to see Mordin and Maelon struggling to open the now damaged quarantine pod door.
In the back of his mind, he could hear Wrex yelling, along with the salarians' attempts to force the door open. But it became impossible to do anything other than watch in horror as the mech pilot's attention zeroed in on the females' pod hanging from the ceiling mid transfer.
"No! Stop him! Take it out!" Shepard exclaimed as everyone drew their weapons, but Garrus knew it was too little, too late. They opened fire as the mech's arm rose, taking aim.
It fired.
"Protect the kro- No!" Mordin cried out as the krogan's pod rocked with the force of the impact, the protective barrier flickering and dying as screams broke across their ears. "No!" The mech lined up another attack, but stumbled as Kaidan's attack took out one of its knees, causing it to lurch to the side.
They bombarded it with attacks, one after another, slowly damaging its armor and shielding until Garrus saw his chance. The shielding flickered and died, and he noticed a narrow crack in the pilot's glass barrier. He pulled up his rifle and took aim through the scope. Pulling the trigger, he held his breath. The beautiful crack! of shattering glass met his ears and he watched as the pilot jerked suddenly before slumping forward over his blood splattered controls.
Garrus looked up and breathed a sigh of relief as he registered the mech's lack of movement. Around him, the frenzied movement of battle slowed, but the peace was broken by another scream of pain from above.
"John! Reinitiate the transfer!" Jane called out as Wrex continued yelling into the comm in blind panic. Shepard moved back toward the console as she darted toward the door Mordin was bashing his fists against with desperation. "Garrus, help me get them out of here!"
Garrus ran toward her, holstering his rifle as he reached the door. Together, they forced it open just as the female's smoking and damaged pod began to move again. It landed hard and the ground team ran up the steps toward it, followed by the anxious salarians. The shuttle dropped in from above suddenly, nearly crashing into the ground as it pulled up at the last moment. It hit the landing zone hard before the door opened, and a panicked Wrex pushed past everyone as he hurried toward the females.
By the time Garrus and Jane got up to the landing zone, one injured krogan had already been pulled from the mangled pod, limping as she bled and groaned. Another female, apparently unharmed, helped Shepard drag the final female from the wreckage. The two of them laid her down on the ground, and Garrus sucked in a sharp gasp as his stomach dropped through his feet.
The poor woman was covered in her own blood, and more gushed from a large gash in her side. More worrisome still was the head wound that left blood splattered across her face. It was unclear whether she was breathing, but she appeared unresponsive as Mordin and Maelon set to work on her.
"How could you let this happen?" Wrex growled to no one in particular, pacing angrily above the salarians as they worked in a frenzy of activity in an attempt to staunch the bleeding. With a roar of helpless anger, he smashed his fist into the shuttle's door, leaving a dent before gnashing his teeth and returning his wide eyed stare to the bleeding females. "You'd better save them, or there will be hell to pay!"
"Shut up, Wrex!" The uninjured female snapped as she bent down to help Ashley with her limping fellow. "Either help or get out of our way!" They applied medi gel and managed to get her on her own feet. Wrex grumbled as he crossed his arms and stepped back, his face a dark cloud of anger.
Mordin and Maelon muttered between themselves as they began attempting to resuscitate the bloodied krogan, the rest of the team loitering around them with forlorn despondency. Garrus glanced at Jane, who met his eye momentarily with a small concerned frown. He could tell she was thinking the same thing, and it wasn't good.
There was a loud explosion, and they all ducked as debris rained down upon them. Looking up, Garrus could see Cerberus troops landing on the other side of the open expanse. Cursing, Wrex grabbed Modrin by his bloodied coat, pulling his face close to his.
"I swear, if you don't-"
The uninjured krogan female was upon Wrex in an instant. She backhanded him off Mordin, who snapped back to his frenzied work, and then she turned on the krogan clan chief with cool disdain. Her hand darted out and snatched his shotgun from where it was holstered, and with a flick of her wrist she turned and held it before her with casual confidence the belied years of experience.
Three shots rang out, and the stunned ground team turned to see three encroaching Cerberus troops drop to the ground as blood sprayed through the air.
"Don't just stand there, you lot of blubbering idiots. Leave her, she's gone beyond where we can help her now. Get your asses on that shuttle or I'm leaving without you." With that, the krogan female tossed the shotgun back at the wide eyed Wrex before grabbing the limping female under the arm and marching her toward the shuttle.
After a moment, Mordin sighed and his hands slowed. With a nod, he stood and followed her to the shuttle. Maelon trailed after him, his eyes sad as he looked back at the bloodied female on the ground. Wrex seemed torn for a moment before cursing loudly and boarding the shuttle.
"You heard the woman! Move your asses!" Jane called out before hurrying after her, followed by the rest of the team. Garrus and Shepard turned to fire a few rounds off at the last few encroaching troops as everyone boarded, then they also hopped onto the shuttle and closed the door.
In the hours that followed, the Nomandy became something like a buzzing beehive of activity. The aftermath of the events on Sur'kesh had been stressful, even if the mission had ultimately been a success. They'd gotten away with two living krogan females, both immune to the genophage, and two salarian doctors carrying with them an almost complete cure. Regardless, the atmosphere aboard the ship had become tense, to say the least.
Garrus lifted a delicate model ship, holding it aloft carefully as he brought a brush up to add a thin stripe. He examined his work critically before dipping the brush into the cup of water and gently placing the ship back down on the desk.
"That's perfect, thank you." Jane murmured as she leaned in for a closer look from where she sat nearby. Together, they'd taken up most of Shepard's desk in his cabin, tiny plastic pieces of Jane's current work-in-process strewn about them. Garrus had found her there taking refuge to avoid the drama unfolding between Wrex and Victus. Before he could blink, she'd set him up with her model painting kit.
"You know, when I said I used to paint, this isn't quite what I meant." Garrus mused with a grin as he dried his brush and reached for a different bottle of paint. Shrugging, Jane returned her focus to the half completed model before her.
"Well, sorry. I figured the skills would translate well enough."
"I haven't actually painted anything since I was back in school, you do realize this, don't you?" He replied dryly even as he eagerly began mixing the two colors on the palette, searching for just the right hue.
"Okay, fine. Go back downstairs and let Mordin try to set you up with Eve again. Tell me how that works out for you." Jane replied flippantly with a wave of her hand, and he groaned.
"I know my scars are devilishly attractive, but honestly…" Garrus muttered, and she turned to grin at him before leaning over and pressing a kiss to his scarred mandible.
"Well, I'm going to hide in here until things settle down a bit on the lower decks or until John kicks me out again. All the posturing and arguing is giving me a headache."
"Victus just wants to get Palaven all the help he can and as soon as possible." Garrus pointed out as he picked up the quarian ship model again and began carefully adding details to the side of it.
"I know. But now Wrex is stomping about demanding that all krogan be given the cure before he will commit any troops, and then everything with Eve and Lilith… Well, it's just quieter up here."
"I've been meaning to ask." Garrus put down his brush and carefully lowered the model to the desk again. "Their names – they don't seem like krogan names, or is that just me? They sound more human than krogan, but maybe that's just the translation program."
"That's because they are human names." Jane looked up at him, and he blinked in confusion. "From what I've gathered, both of them gave up their original names at some point. Mordin didn't know what to call them, so he came up with names for them. I don't know why he picked names from human origin myths, your guess is probably as good as mine."
"Human origin…?"
"Yeah. According to one human religion, Eve was the first human woman, the mother of our race. I suppose it does make a certain amount of sense. And then there's another, similar religion, and some of them believe that there was perhaps a woman named Lilith that preceded Eve, but was cast out for whatever reason. I can't really tell you more than that, it's not my area of expertise, and I can't begin to fathom why Mordin picked those names of all things. Maybe he just liked the symbolism. But I doubt there's that much reason behind it."
"So, wait… Was your Eve a real person, or-?"
"That question is above my pay grade, I'm not getting into human religious beliefs with you right now. It's a sticky topic at best, and humans can get very particular about it. If you really want to learn more about it all, go talk to Ashley. The story of Eve comes from her religion."
"Ah, I see." He paused before picking up the model and brush and continuing his work. "Don't take this the wrong way, but humans are so damn confusing. Every time I start thinking I have a grasp on your species, you throw another curve ball at me. Just how many religions do you guys have?"
"I have no idea, probably too many to count." Jane scoffed, her lips tugged down in a small frown.
"There aren't that many turian religions, most subscribe to belief in the spirits. Though, I know some have adopted asari beliefs, and I even heard a few turians talking about some human belief called… What was it? Bood-something?"
"Buddhism?"
"Yeah, that was it."
"Are you serious?" Jane perked up, her eyebrows raised in surprise as she looked back at him in surprise. "That's interesting. And frankly, sort of amusing."
"Turians don't usually care who or what you pray to as long as you do your job and don't let it affect those around you."
"That makes too much sense for humans." Jane rolled her eyes in self depreciation before changing the topic. "So, did you hear that the Prothean device has a name now?"
"Wait, really?" Garrus lowered his brush again, "Since when?"
"John just told me before I came up here. According to Hackett, it's now called 'Project Crucible'."
"Huh. Odd name."
"Yeah, I thought so, too. But at least it seems to be well underway. He says it should be doable, but we're going to need to get as many people on board as possible." Jane clicked a piece into place and turned the model in her hand as she examined it. Garrus leaned back in his seat, gazing down at the model before him as his mind drifted.
"Hopefully everything on Tuchanka goes to plan and we can get the genophage cured. Then we can start getting turian and krogan forces working on the Crucible as well." His mind started reeling as he contemplated the work that would have to go into coordinating all of it.
"Well, it's going to have to wait until we handle whatever it is that Wrex needs us to take care of on our way there."
"What do you mean?" Garrus looked up as Jane shrugged.
"Some sort of mission, it's all very hush hush. But John let slip that it might have to do with the rachni."
"The rachni?" Garrus spluttered, nearly dropping the model. Jane glowered at him as he shifted his grip on it before placing it down on the desk carefully. "But didn't the queen promise not to cause trouble?"
"Yeah, I guess we'll see when we get there."
"It doesn't make sense, though. We let her go on the condition she disappeared forever. She wouldn't risk everything to start a war."
"I know. And hopefully I won't have to go telling John that I told him so. I never thought letting her live was a good idea, personally." With that, Jane put her model down and leaned back in her chair, stretching her arms over her head. "Okay, enough of this." She reached over to pluck the paint brush from Garrus' hands and plopped it back into the cup of water. In one fluid motion she rolled out of her chair and into his lap.
"Whoa there, hello…" He murmured with a slow smile as she grinned down at him.
"I know we cleaned up after the mission and all, but I also know for a fact that John is in the middle of a meeting, and I could use a nice hot shower to relax. If you'd care to join me…?" Jane whispered into his ear as she leaned in close, and Garrus felt himself shudder in anticipation. Her fingers snaked down under the hem of his shirt and began inching it upwards, her fingers leaving trails of fire in their wake. He didn't fight her.
"You're positive he's not going to come yell at us again this time?"
"Life is much more fun lived on the edge. You aren't afraid of a little risk, are you? Archangel?" Jane purred and he felt himself buck upwards as she chuckled. His thinly reigned control snapped and he stood suddenly, holding her to him as he pushed the chair back and moved toward the nearby shower door.
Garrus shoved her up against the door, leaning into her as she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms came up to snake around his neck. He had one hand around her as the other searched frantically for the door controls, his tongue and teeth slowly making their way up her neck toward her ear. He breathed her in, his heart seeming to thud in his chest in time with sweet noises she was making.
Somehow, he never got tired of this, of her. Every time he touched her, was touched by her, it felt new and exciting. At the same time, it now felt familiar and comforting, like coming home after a long day.
They nearly fell forward as Garrus found the controls, the door snapping open. He caught them before they could fall, and he quickly lowered Jane to her feet before turning to lock the door behind them.
"How much time do you think before Shepard's meeting is over?" Garrus asked before pausing as sudden thoughts intruded, cooling his ardor somewhat. "Is this that confidential meeting with Victus? What could that possibly be about? Victus hasn't mentioned anything to me about it yet." He turned to see Jane already tugging her shirt off impatiently.
"I don't know, and I don't care. I swear to god, Big Guy, if you don't get your ass undressed this instant, I'm going to strip you with my omni-blade."
Garrus grinned and finally began pulling off his own shirt. "Promises, promises…"
"How's he doing?" Garrus asked a few days later as he stepped from the main battery into the mess hall. Shepard looked up from where he stood, leaning against the kitchenette's low counter as he stared blankly at a datapad. Before them, the medbay's windows remained shuttered.
Their last mission hadn't gone smoothly. Somehow, nothing went smoothly when the rachni were involved, if you could call the abominations they'd encountered 'rachni'. They'd met up with Wrex's team there, but there hadn't been many survivors.
"Grunt's a trooper." Shepard replied as he frowned, belying his concern as his brows knit together. "But he lost a lot of blood. I'm glad we were able to get him to Chakwas quickly. Even so, she says he needs to be seen by specialists on the Citadel as soon as possible, so we're going to make a stop there on our way to Tuchanka." Garrus parked himself beside the Commander and crossed his arms as he leaned back.
"I see. Well, at least he's still alive. Could have gone a lot worse." Garrus muttered, and Shepard nodded. His mind wandered back to the dark, dank caverns and the fetid webbing of the rachni modified by the Reapers and shuttered. "A whole lot worse." Honestly, they were all probably lucky to have walked away from that one.
"Yeah. He's in good hands for the moment though." Shepard snorted with a small smile, "The smaller of the two females seems to have taken a shine to him. Lilith, I think her name is now." Garrus blinked in surprise, his mandibles flicking.
"Really? What makes you say that?"
"From what I understand, if not for Mordin's insistence that both females remain in the medbay for now, Chakwas might have kicked her out for trying to be too helpful while she was treating Grunt's wounds. Even now, I think the smaller krogan is keeping vigil over him as he sleeps."
"That's… really kind of sweet." Garrus chuckled with a shrug and a stifled smile. Shepard nodded in agreement as he laughed. They stood there in silence for a few moments before Garrus changed the topic. "Quite a pick for EDI's first ground side mission. She did well, though."
"She did, I'm proud of her." Shepard's smile softened, his pride shining through.
"Thank you, Commander." EDI's disembodied voice emanated from above them, and Garrus couldn't contain a crooked smile at the pleased note he could hear from her. They chatted for a few more minutes before Garrus pushed himself off the counter.
"I'm going to go grab a drink and relax a little before hitting the sack. Care to join me?" Garrus asked, hoping this invitation would be the one to pull Shepard away from his work. He felt his hope die and the other man shook his head.
"Not tonight, I think. Too much to get done." Shepard muttered, eyeing the datapad in his hand. Garrus narrowed his eyes in concern, taking a moment to really examine his friend. Jane was right to be worried if the dark circles under Shepard's eyes were any clue. Garrus might not be a master at reading and understanding humans, but he liked to think he'd improved somewhat since first joining the Normandy. If he didn't know better, he'd say Shepard had lost weight in the past few weeks, and there was a pale, drawn quality to his skin that seemed off.
Garrus sighed, unsure how hard to push, "You sure? You look like you could use a night off." Shepard shook his head before tapping the button to illuminate the datapad's screen.
"Nah, but thanks for the invite." The Commander's attention returned to his work, the dismissal evident. Garrus didn't move, and after a moment he tried again, his voice softer as he took a gamble.
"Tali wouldn't want you to push yourself to the point of collapsing, Shepard." The other man's face seemed to darken at his words, and Garrus wondered if he'd stepped too far.
"I know," Shepard finally murmured, his voice leaden, "But if I let up, if I don't do everything I can, I might never see her again. So I'm going to keep working." His eyes never left his datapad, and Garrus sighed again as he nodded.
"Okay. But don't forget to come up for air every now and then." After a moment, he added, "Jane and I are here for you if you need us." With that, Shepard finally looked up at him with a small, tired smile.
"I know. Thanks, Garrus. I'm glad I have you guys watching my six." Garrus smiled back at him before nodding his goodbye. He turned and made his way toward the port observation deck.
As the doors opened, he was surprised by the silence he was met with. Lately it had become normal to find at least a few crew members relaxing or wallowing at the bar in their off hours, but there didn't appear to be anyone this evening. Garrus wasn't sure if the quiet was a good thing or not. It was hard to ignore the intrusive thoughts when he was alone with himself.
It wasn't until he'd fixed himself a drink that he turned around and jumped as he noticed the young man curled up on the couch by the door nursing a half finished bottle. He was one of the younger Normandy crew members, one of the ones who had a tendency to stare wide eyed at those of the crew considered 'heroes'.
"Copeland. Have you been there this whole time?" Garrus asked, trying to reign in the high pitched notes of surprise in his subvocals.
"Uh, yes. S-sorry, sir." Ensign Copeland seemed to swallow before continuing. "I didn't mean to surprise you. I can leave, if you-" Garrus waved him off, instead sitting down on the couch across from him.
"No, you look comfy. Hope you don't mind if I join you?"
"Of- of course not! Go ahead!" Copeland stuttered with evident surprise as he settled back into his seat. They sat there for a moment before the other man seemed to gather his courage with an awkward cough. "So… I saw that krogan that you guys brought back from the last mission. He looked pretty rough." Garrus nodded as he took a sip of his drink and leaned back.
"That was Grunt. He'll pull through, though. He's tough. He'll be up and causing more trouble than he's worth in no time." Garrus couldn't help the snort of laughter as he took another sip, savoring the burn in the back of his throat.
"It's amazing that you guys made it out of there alive." Copeland murmured in awe, voicing something similar to Garrus' own thoughts from minutes earlier. "I heard you guys ran into rachni, is that true?" He shuddered before he seemed to collect himself. "Sorry, I don't mean to pry, sir." Garrus smiled, shaking his head to dismiss the other man's worries. It wasn't the first time Copeland and the younger soldiers amongst the crew had inquired about their missions, both present and past. He would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy telling them a few stories. He tried not to embellish them too much, and honestly, they didn't need exaggeration to be amazing.
"Not sure if those things really could be called rachni. The Reapers altered them so much, I could barely recognized them." Garrus looked away with a disgusted frown. It was hard not to shudder at the thought of the beasts they'd found. When he looked back, Copeland was staring at him with widened eyes.
"Wait, you have enough experience with rachni to be able to easily recognize them on sight?" The younger man's amazement that made Garrus grin, and he felt himself lean back further into the couch as he brought his ankle up to cross over his knee.
"Wasn't the first time I've faced rachni." He stated offhandedly in a way that he hoped didn't sound too boastful. Maybe just a little boastful. Just the right level of boastfulness, perhaps.
"Really?" Copeland asked eagerly, instantly drawn in as though he could sense a story worth hearing. "You've seen them before?" Garrus smiled as he thought back to the frigid planet all those years ago.
"Few years back. On Noveria." He began, "Saren and his minions were trying to extract information from the rachni queen."
"You saw the queen?" Copeland gasped before he could continue, and Garrus tried to force down the smirk on his face. Noveria had sucked at the time, but it sure did make for a good story now. Who was he to disappoint?
"Hell, we spoke to her." Garrus stated, and Copeland's mouth dropped open in surprise as he leaned forward, the last few sips of the drink in his hand long since forgotten.
"You spoke?" He paused with a small shake of his head, "I can't imagine that." The younger man released a breath in a sigh before leaning back a little. "The things you've done, sir… they're amazing."
Garrus shrugged as he thought back to the cold halls and labs of Noveria. The screams, the blood, the terror, the mangled corpses… Liara screaming, her tears running in streams down her face as her mother's eyes closed for the final time. He abruptly felt all the swelled up confidence in his chest leech out, leaving him oddly cold and empty.
"Well, it didn't seem that way at the time." He sighed, and Copeland's face sobered as he seemed to recognize the seriousness of his tone. "Mostly you're just clawing your way out of one mess and into another, hoping your ass comes along for the ride."
"Ah. Yeah. That makes sense." Copeland replied quietly, but before he could continue, they were interrupted by the door opening, and they both looked up to see James Vega enter the room, his hair damp and a towel draped across his neck.
"Hey guys." He said as he glanced about, but blinked as he noticed their somber faces. "Geez, who died?" Garrus raised a brow plate and opened his mouth to comment on his lack of tact, but James beat him to it. "I know, I know. Sorry. Anyway, what are you all drinking? Can I top you guys off while I'm up?"
The larger human moved toward the bar, but both he and Copeland turned him down. While Garrus' was still mostly full, Copeland took the last swig of his before standing and excusing himself for the night. As James settled down into his seat, he took a sip of his beer and released a long breath.
"So, those rachni were really something, huh Scars?"
"We were just talking about them. If I never see another spider again, I'll die a contented turian." James tipped his bottle in agreement, but cocked his head in consideration.
"Sorry to pop your bubble, but hell is probably full of 'em."
"Ah, damn." Garrus grinned as he shook his head in mock disappointment. "Good thing turians don't believe in hell, I suppose."
"Wait, turians don't have any hell?" James sat up in surprise, and Garrus shook his head. He'd had the concept of hell explained to him, but he couldn't think of anything that correlated for turians. The thought of eternal damnation was, quite frankly, terrifying. But perhaps that was the point. "But what about heaven? You must have some sort of life after death in your religion. Isn't that the whole point of it all?"
"Yeah, we believe in the afterlife, but it isn't really a black and white morality thing."
"Ah, I see. So you guys don't believe in a god or a devil?" James pressed, and Garrus shook his head again.
"No, but we believe in the spirits. It's a little different."
"Like the spirits of your ancestors? Or are they more like our saints or something?"
"Saints? I'm not sure what those are, but spirits are like a manifestation of the best traits of a group. So a town or a city may have a spirit that embodies their resilience or fortitude, or a family may have a spirit that embodies their honor. A military unit, their courage and determination, and so on."
"Ah, I see. So when you keep calling out 'sprits!' during missions, that's you, like, praying to them for help or something?"
"No, not really, not for help. For me, it's mostly just a bad habit at this point, like cursing. I know a lot of you humans do something similar. Spirits can't really help us directly, they just inspire us with the traits they embody. So when in need of courage or strength, a soldier might appeal to their unit's spirit." Garrus paused, snorting as he took a moment to try and remember the last time he'd truly felt connected to the spirits. "Not that any of that's ever done me much good, I suppose."
"Well, you wouldn't be the first soldier I've met who's come out of a battle with their faith a little shaken. Some find comfort in it, some don't." Garrus looked up at the other man, surprised by the compassion on his face. The moment passed, however, as James grinned and continued, "Tell you what, Scars. Let's make this a real cultural exchange. Here's an old Earth toast-" He held up his bottle, "May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead."
Garrus paused, his glass half uplifted as he processed the statement coming through his translator. Taken literally, it had absolutely no meaning to a turian. But coupled with his knowledge of humanity, it made a certain amount of sense. It seemed to encompass the boldness that he'd come to love about humans, even if some of the longer lived species preferred to call them 'brazen' or 'brash'.
But so many humans didn't seem to bother wasting time debating things when immediate action was necessary. They dove right in and got their hands dirty, and they did what needed to be done, no matter the cost. Shepard's call for the Alliance to protect the Destiny Ascension during Sovereign's attack on the Citadel was the perfect example.
Humans were bold. They were adventurous, they were audacious, they were fearless and resolute. His mind drifted to one in particular, her bright eyes flashing and her vibrant hair shining as she stood tall, always confident and unashamed.
Garrus grinned and finished raising his glass.
"I can drink to that."
(Note: Thank you for being patient, today was a crazy day and nothing played out like I'd hoped. But I got it posted before the end of the day, so all is not lost! Thank you to all my wonderful readers, and especially to those of you who have reached out to show your support. It means the world to me and is so inspiring!)