Chapter Sixty Four
Harry hated St Mungo's. There was nothing nice about hospitals and it had never seemed darker to him than it did now. There were several people sitting in the waiting room, someone was bleeding which gave the whole room the metallic smell of blood.
Lily walked over to the desk and waited in line, Danica clinging to her hand and smoothing out her pink dress with her free hand.
"You look fine." Harry said with a smile, and she did. Sirius had bought her that dress, just after Christmas a couple of years ago. Lily must have magically made it bigger for her.
"Who are you here to see?" the witch behind the desk asked pleasantly.
Lily opened her mouth and found that she couldn't get the words out, her throat and mouth were so dry she just couldn't speak.
"Sirius Black and Nikka DeGere." Severus said.
The witch ran her long finger nail down the list of names, "There they are. Miss DeGere is in room 247 and Mr Black is in room 739, long stay ward."
"Thank you." Severus said, leading his family away towards the lifts.
Harry felt like he was going to be sick. He was struggling to breathe, like there wasn't enough air in the lift as it trundled, painfully slowly upwards.
The lift finally stopped and the doors slid open.
"Who are we seeing first?" Danica asked in a whisper.
"Sirius, sweetie." Severus said tightly, "Nikka should be coming home today so we're going to pick her up."
"That's good." Danica said softly.
Room 739 was down a slightly musty corridor with a couple of dust bunnies in the corners but otherwise clean with several vases of nearly fresh flowers along the length.
The room itself had a single window that looked out over London, it was a bleak view but better than no window at all. The walls were a dirty, faded yellow. Harry assumed that when it was freshly painted it had looked quite nice, but not any more.
He could hardly bring himself to look over to the silver framed bed, the white sheets and blankets neatly tucked in around the edges of the mattress with perfect hospital corners.
Sirius was lying unmoving in the bed. They'd brushed his hair and trimmed his beard, he could of just been sleeping.
Nikka was sitting on the single seat by the bed, holding tightly to Sirius's hand. She wiped her eyes of tears and forced a smile when she saw them come in.
"We were just coming to see you." Lily said, wrapping her in a gentle hug, "We got the owl this morning that you were ready to come home to rest. How are you feeling?"
"Dead." Nikka said, wiping her eyes again, "I'm not going home. I can't."
"We'll talk about that in a while." Severus said, gesturing to Harry and Danica, "Away from little ears."
Nikka looked over to Harry and Danica, who were both standing pressed against the wall, white faced and a little afraid to move.
"Sorry, of course. Come here." Nikka said with a smile, waving them over.
Harry took Danica's hand and led her slowly over. He'd never seen someone look so pale as Sirius did. Actually that wasn't quite true, he'd never seen someone so pale who was still alive. The thought made his panic increase that much more.
"They said that he might be able to still hear or feel sometimes… but they're not sure." Nikka explained, "They won't tell me much… because… because I'm not family." she said, a sob escaping from her.
"That's not fair." Harry said quickly, "Mum, you have to say something to them!"
Nikka shook her head, "It was still down as Lily as his next of kin, I guess he just hadn't gotten around to changing it, you know what he was like. You should of heard Tonks having a go at them earlier, I swear one of the nurses was about to cry."
Lily rubbed her shoulders, "I'll have a word with them, if I'm next of kin I should be able to get them to recognise you as family."
Nikka felt more tears falling down her cheeks, she was surprised she had any left, "Harry, I don't suppose you brought the ring?"
Harry nodded silently and dug the little box and note from his pocket, handing it over to Nikka.
"I shouldn't of waited. I was going to ask at Christmas and then Arthur was attacked and it just… I wanted it to be perfect and now it might be too late, Lily they said he might never wake up. They think if he's asleep for much longer it could be as little as five percent chance. They wont tell me what's actually wrong though."
"Five is a big number though, it's bigger than three, or four." Danica said quietly.
Nikka smiled, "Yes it is, never give up hope."
"Let me go and get a nurse." Lily said.
She left the room and returned a few minutes later with a very strict looking witch with an old fashioned frilly cap on.
"Mrs Snape says that you are to be treated as next of kin as well, Miss DeGere, we're very sorry for the mix up." the witch said with a polite smile.
"It's no worry." Nikka said, barely more than a whisper.
"Are you sure you want the children to be in here right now?" the witch asked.
Lily looked over to Harry and Danica.
"I want to stay." Harry said quickly.
"I'll take her." Tonks said, sticking her head around the door, "I went to Nikka's room to pick her up and assumed she was still in here."
"Thank you." Lily said nodded, "Off you go, Danica."
"But I want to stay!" Danica whined.
"Let's go find ice cream, kid." Tonks smiled, taking her hand and leading her from the room.
"I don't want ice cream!" Danica protested, her voice echoing back into the room.
"Well we both know that's not true." Tonks laughed.
"And the other one?" the witch asked.
"Harry can stay." Lily said firmly, "He's old enough to understand."
The witch nodded and put on a small pair of glasses, looking over the clipboard at the end of Sirius's bed.
"Well, Mr Black's case is unusual. Getting hit with two immobilising spells in the heart is difficult to survive at the best of times, it is lucky that Mr Black was in such good health and at a young age. However we don't know the damage the veil has done and the Ministry is not being forth coming with any information." the witch said sympathetically, "We have managed to stabilise his heart rate and he is, for the most part, breathing unaided; these are both very good signs."
"But he's still… asleep." Harry said, looking over his godfather.
"Yes and as of now, we have no idea how to change that." the witch said simply, "Anything we try could unstabilise his condition and has a very low chance of actually helping him to regain consciousness. I've talked with several consultants and mediwizards personally and we all agree that the best thing we can do is just wait and hope for the time being."
Nikka felt fresh tears run down her face, dripping onto her clutched hands.
"Is there anything we can do to help?" Severus asked, his voice tight.
"Talk to him, he might be able to hear you. Touch him, same thing, he may or may not be able to feel you around him. Personal things… couldn't hurt." the witch said, she checked the watch pinned to her chest, "I really must go on my rounds but please just press the buzzer if you have any questions."
"Thank you." Lily said, shaking her hand.
"I want my bed moved in here." Nikka said quickly, "I made the request before and it was denied but now, my… place has been sorted out I would like to ask again."
The witch smiled gently, "Miss DeGere, are you not due to go home today?"
"I can't leave him." Nikka pleaded, "I… what happens if he becomes unstable? You… you said before that there is as much of a chance that he will… will… will die, as that he will wake up. I have to be here."
The witch nodded, "I will see what I can do. After all, you aren't fully healed yet."
Nikka sighed in relief, "Thank you."
"Oh I meant to give you these, Mrs Snape. They were his personal things that he had on him when he was brought in."
She handed over a small cardboard box with Mr S Black written clearly in a thick black pen. Lily took it and thanked her, closing the door behind the witch.
It wasn't long before there was a knock on the door, Tonks poked her head round,
"Is it safe?" she asked.
Lily nodded and Danica ran back in, hugging her parents' legs.
"What's in the box?" Danica asked.
"These are the things Uncle Sirius was wearing when he got sick." Severus explained, drawing a chair for the all. Danica ignored the chair and climbed onto the end of the bed.
"I don't think Sirius would mind." She said quietly, "He liked snuggling with me. He said that I gave the best Danica snuggles ever." she said wiping the tears away from her eyes.
Nikka smiled, "No, he wouldn't mind."
"Should we look in the box?" Lily asked, "She said personal things might help?"
Nikka took a deep breath to try and summon so courage and nodded. Lily pulled off the lid and lifted out the robes Sirius had been wearing. They were dirty and slightly blood stained from the battle.
Nikka took them and buried her face in the cloth for a moment, breathing in his smell before waving her wand over them, leaving them clean and fresh. She folded them neatly and put them in the cupboard by Sirius's bed.
"What else is in there?" she asked, forcing a smile.
"His wand, we should take that home with us." Severus said, "it wouldn't be safe to leave it here."
Lily and Nikka nodded.
"Then it's just these." Lily said, her voice cracking as she held up two items.
One was a moving picture of Harry and Nikka taken at Christmas. They were wearing silly hats and laughing at something just out of the picture. The other was the sparkly pink dog collar Danica had given him one Christmas she'd been worried people would think he wasn't owned when he was being Padfoot.
Nikka let out a tear filled laugh, "He took this everywhere with him," she said, clutching the collar, "just in case."
Harry took the picture, flipping it over to read the back.
"My godson, Harry Potter, he's so much like his father in all the best ways and so much like James, again in all the best ways.
Nikka DeGere, I'm going to marry that woman! Even if she doesn't know it yet. She is the love of my life and the reason my heart beats.
Grimmauld Place, Christmas 1995.
"You should see this." Harry choked, handing the picture to Nikka.
She laughed and burst into tears, "I should never of waited."
"You'll be able to give it to him when he wakes up." Danica said firmly, "And I'll be bridesmaid!" she said, forcing a smile, "I expect a very pretty dress."
Nikka nodded and wiped her eyes.
They stayed with Sirius for a few hours before it was getting late and they needed to put Danica to bed. Nikka was still insisting that she wanted to stay. They left her to it, there was no point forcing her to leave when she was clearly not ready.
Back at Grimmauld place, Kreacher was waiting for them nervously.
"How is Master Sirius?" he asked, helping Danica to take her coat off.
"Same as before." Lily told him with a sigh, "We just have to wait and hope."
"There is always hope, Missy Lily." Kreacher said, trying not to cry, "I'll make warms milk."
Harry drank the milk and went to bed early, leaving Lily and Severus sitting, quietly in the sitting room.
"Are you OK?" Lily asked, snuggled into his side. She couldn't help but be clingy at the moment, every time she closed her eyes she could feel loosing James again and imagined it was Severus laying in that hospital bed.
"No." Severus said thickly, "Not at all. This is all my fault."
Lily pushed herself up so she could look him in the eyes, "This is not your fault. He would have been lost to the veil if you hadn't caught him."
Severus shook his head, "I know that… it's… I wished for this, so bloody often. For them all to suffer. Now James is dead, the world hates Remus, Peter is on the run and Sirius… Sirius is at death's door and all I can think is it's my fault as this is exactly what I wanted, for so long."
"You were a kid…" Lily said, "And this wasn't you."
Severus shrugged, "I hope you know that this… I… if I could fix it I would."
Lily pressed a finger to his lips, "Shhh, it's OK. You're… mourning." she said with a laugh, "Go tell your sixteen year old self that; you're in mourning because you might lose Sirius."
Severus nodded and let the tears he'd been holding back flow down his face, "He called me Harry's father, in that photo. I never… I never thought he'd look at me like that. I don't… I can't imagine him not in our lives, stupid mutt. Gods Lily, what if he doesn't make it?"
Lily shook her head, also crying, "I don't know. Everything has gone so wrong, I never wanted this for them. This is why we fought so hard the first time around."
Harry and Danica knocked on the door. They'd sneaked down as Danica wanted biscuits; Harry suspected she actually just didn't want to be alone.
"Come in." Lily said, quickly wiping her eyes, "You should be in bed Kitten."
"Are you OK?" Harry asked, climbing on the sofa between them.
"No." Severus said honestly, "But as long as we're together, we're going to be right?"
Harry nodded and held his sister tightly on his knee, hearing his parents' heart beats as they snuggled around him.
Whatever was coming he'd be OK if he could always come back to this.