Chapter Thirty Two
Potions, currently by far Harry's strongest subject currently, so he wasn't worried as he set up his cauldron. Wasn't worried until he spotted the board, covered in something called, Golpalott's Third Law, which apart from dealing with antidotes, Harry didn't have a clue about and his father's book was surprisingly unhelpful; clearly Severus had no trouble understanding it.
Slughorn explained the theory briefly, from which Harry took that an antidote must have an antidote to all of the elements in the poison plus something (Harry didn't quite understand what) that made it stronger than the poison.
Slughorn handed out a small vial of poison to each of the students before settling himself behind his desk.
Draco and Hermione clearly knew exactly what they were doing, with Pansy and Daphne looking a little less sure but still starting at least.
"How do I start?" Harry hissed to Draco.
"Doesn't it say in you book?" Hermione said, trying to keep the smirk from her voice.
"You know I helped you learn the whole 'wordless magic' thing." Harry said, looking around desperately.
Draco snorted a laugh, "Low blow Potter."
Harry rolled his eyes, "Sorry. I just don't now where to start."
"Myri oloklirouy," Hermione said, smirking at him, "That's the spell that will tell you everything that is in the poison. But that's all the help you're getting."
Harry thanked her; it wasn't the full answer but he couldn't really ask for more. It soon became clear, however, that for all his Potions book made it easy for him to appear the best in the class he had very little basic knowledge.
Every ingredient he was having to look up in his book to see what it's opposite was and the time was quickly ticking away from him. He was barely even started, just the original poison and half a goblet of water floating around in his lukewarm cauldron while Draco was pricking his finger and adding his own blood and Hermione was cutting a chunk of her frizzy hair off to throw in.
Harry rubbed his head worriedly. He needed Slughorn to think he was perfect, more now than ever needing that stupid memory.
"Are you OK?" Daphne said, as her cauldron let off a loud puff of blue smoke.
"Is it meant to do that?" Harry asked.
"I think so." Daphne laughed, "Gosh I hope we're not going to have to actually try these!"
She looked at the clock, Harry following her gaze and seeing there was barely a few minutes left and Harry was barely started.
He grabbed his Potions book again, furiously flicking through the pages, there had to be something, anything.
Harry spotted a small note, tiny and scribbled on the otherwise blank antidote page.
"'Just shove a bezoar down their throats'." Harry read out under his breath.
"What was that?" Hermione asked, not looking up from her cauldron.
"Nothing." Harry said quickly, two minutes until the end of class.
He made his decision and flicked his wand, emptying his cauldron. Dashing over to the store room he quickly sorted through the neatly alphabetised boxes and found the one he was searching for.
Harry opened the bezoar box and pulled out one of the half a dozen stones that looked horribly like dried kidneys.
"All finished?" Slughorn asked with a smile, looking around the room as Harry slid into his place at his desk, "Lets see… poor show Mr Weasley, what is that smell? Not brilliant, Macmillan but could certainly be worse." he shot another look at Ron who turned bright red and set about cleaning out his cauldron.
Harry tried his best not to panic, what was he thinking? There was no way presenting a bezoar was going to work! He would never of tried it with Severus, it would of landed him a firm detention for sure.
Mostly Harry was hoping his charm and previous talent would be enough to make Professor Slughorn think it was funny rather than rude.
"Miss Granger, very well done." Slughorn beamed at her, "Mr Malfoy, very close as well. Miss Parkinson, you were nearly there I think, and Miss Greengrass just slightly behind. And Harry… a bezoar?"
Harry forced a grin onto his face, "It would work." He shrugged.
Slughorn burst out laughing, "Yes, yes it would! Well done boy, the only one who actually would have cured it in time!"
Hermione looked furiously at him, even Draco looked rather unhappy. Harry shot them an apologetic smile.
"You're so much like your mother." Slughorn continued, "She would of thought about something like this as well. True Potion Masters know not to over complicate things and that time is often against you. However bezoars are rather rare, expensive and won't always work so learning the difficult art of antidotes is worth the effort. Well done, Harry!"
"Thank you sir." Harry beamed, as Slughorn patted him on the back.
"Well. Read up all of you and I will see you next lesson. Well done all." Slughorn told the class as the bell rang loudly.
"I'll catch up." Harry told his friends quickly.
Hermione, Draco, Pansy and Daphne nodded, leaving him doing up his school bag, overly carefully until he and Slughorn were the last ones left in the classroom.
"You'll be late for your next lesson Harry, look sharp." Slughorn said with a small chuckle.
Harry found himself reminded of Tom from the memory, trying to trick Slughorn, playing on his weaknesses and pretending he didn't matter at all. Harry did his best to bury the thought as far to the back of his mind as he could.
"Sir, I… I just wanted to ask you something, if you have a moment?" Harry asked, making sure his smile was firmly fixed to his face.
"Ask away Harry, for you I have nothing but time." Slughorn replied, turning away from his flashy briefcase to focus on Harry.
"Sir, I… I wondered…" Harry took a deep breath. He couldn't do this; this memory might be important but he wasn't going to sink to Voldemort's level and trick it out of Slughorn, "Sorry Sir. It's nothing. I'm sorry to waste your time."
Slughorn frowned in confusion at him, "Come now my boy, what's all this about?"
Harry could feel panic rising in his chest. He felt almost like he had forgotten to breathe and the room felt painfully hot.
"Harry? Are you quite well?" Slughorn asked.
"I… I was meant to ask you about a memory, and Horcruxes and… I can't try and… and sweet talk you like that so, I'm sorry." Harry said, feeling angry at himself as he truly felt like he was about to cry.
Slughorn stared at Harry for a moment, "Well… I… I see."
Harry wasn't sure what to say, shifting from foot to foot and focusing on not running from the room, he was exhausted already.
Slughorn walked over, giving him a pat on the shoulder, "Thank you for being straight with me Harry. We have too much respect for each other to lie and trick, do we not?"
Harry nodded, that was certainly part of the reason.
Slughorn walked over to his desk and rubbed his forehead, "I should of expected this I suppose. Dumbledore was so insistent in the first place, I assume it was he who sent you?"
Harry nodded.
Slughorn gave him a small smile.
"Don't leave Professor." Harry said quickly, "I know that you're hurt but you really are a brilliant teacher."
Slughorn looked truly touched, "Thank you my boy. I don't suppose Dumbledore told you exactly why he needs my memory so much."
Harry shook his head, "No sir. I just know that he needs it, that he thinks I will need it to stay alive, or at least to win against Voldemort."
Slughorn flinched at the name, "I see… well I can't…"
"I saw the photo album you have in your draw as well." Harry said quickly, "I… my curiosity has gotten me into trouble before. I went nosing in my Mum's pensive once and saw Azkaban, which I'd really rather of not seen. And… and… I've never told anyone before, but I saw my dad, Severus being tormented, tortured almost by James and his friends. I wish to every god there is I could change that, I could make James and Dad friends, I could wipe it from my mind and from history… but I can't. Nothing I do now will make James, my father, a better person when he was younger. Nor will it change the fact it was Dad, Severus, who ratted Mum and James and me out to Voldemort."
Slughorn looked shocked at Harry before sighing and going over to the sideboard and pulling out the photo album, "Seems you aren't as perfect as I thought."
"No one is perfect." Harry said, his voice cracking slightly, "We just have to keep trying. It's what mum always says."
Slughorn nodded, "How very true. He was so brilliant Harry, I've rarely seen the like. Honestly, I'm not even sure that your mother could of matched him."
Harry smiled, "I've seen a lot of memories of him now, from a lot of different people. Mostly I just feel sorry for him. He had such a shitty life and was so… so alone. I'm not excusing him, just… you know." Harry added quickly, "I just need to know him, and what he knew if I have any chance of watching my little sister grow up."
Slughorn gave him a sad smile, looking fondly at the picture of Tom, running his fingers over the page. He raised his wand to his forehead and pulled out a long, silvery memory, dropping it into a small crystal vial.
"I do hope that it helps you Harry… and… and that you wont judge me too harshly." Slughorn said, his eyes glistening with tears.
"I won't judge you Professor, I can promise you that." Harry said truthfully.
Slughorn handed over the vial with trembling fingers.
"I'll see you at my next little get together? No matter what you see in there? It was so very long ago, and no one really knew how bad he would get." Slughorn asked.
Harry nodded, "Yes." he turned to leave before turning back, "Sir…what…what is a Horcrux?"
Slughorn sighed and sat down, looking truly tired and old, "It is dark magic, very dark magic. You… you have to do this ritual, I don't know the details so please don't ask me, but it.. it splits a part of your soul, holding it in another… vessel."
"Vessel?" Harry asked, "Like a cup? Or do you mean a person?"
Slughorn smiled, "Both, it can be anything, anything at all although it would be most difficult to use a living creature."
"Why?" Harry asked, not wanting to push the issue to far, but knowing that opening up to Slughorn had worked and he had to try.
"It means you can't die." Slughorn said, tears running down his cheeks silently, "Unless all the pieces of your soul are destroyed, which is difficult and needs powerful magic in itself, you won't truly die."
Harry smiled, "Thank you Professor." he hoped his smile hid enough of his horror at the information to not offend Slughorn. Currently Harry was feeling rather sorry for him, fighting the panic about what he now knew he was going to have to face in his head.
Harry took the vial, tucking it safely inside his school bag.
Harry sat with his friends at the end of the day in the Come and Go room, the memory sitting in its vial on the table in the middle of the six of them.
"I can't believe you got it so easily." Hermione said.
Harry nodded, "I thought I was going to need to be perfect but I think in the end it was the knowledge that we're all human that cracked him."
"Can't die?" Daphne whispered, "Harry, how on earth are we going to fight someone who can't die?"
"That's not the biggest question in my mind right now." Harry sighed, "Maybe it should be, but for now the question is, do I give this to Dumbledore?"
"What do you mean? You have to give it to him, he was the one who got you to get it!" Neville pointed out.
Harry nodded, "But we don't know why. I'd forgotten how personal memories are and Slughorn gave this to me."
Pansy sighed, "I… I think Professor Slughorn must have known you'd show it to Dumbledore."
Harry agreed, "Yeah, I'm sure as well, but that doesn't mean that I should."
"You're worried making you try and get it was a test?" Draco guessed.
Harry nodded, "Thing is, it's me who needs to see what this memory contains and I can do that without Dumbledore."
"Harry." Hermione said firmly, "Think about what you're saying. I know that you feel… guilty, almost, about getting this memory but we need all the help we can get. The impossible task here is we need to kill someone who cannot die!"
"You don't have to." Harry said, just as firmly, "I can stand alone if I need to."
"You will never stand alone!" Draco hissed, his friends all nodding in agreement.
"You might not always be able to see us, but we've got your back." Daphne smiled.
"So, the task, to start with, isn't actually going to be fighting Voldemort." Harry said, feeling more grateful than ever for his friends, "It's finding anything that Voldemort might have turned into a Horcrux and smushing it."
"We'll keep looking for any mention." Neville told him, "We might of missed something in the library."
"We also need to write home." Pansy told them, "And get our parents to check the family libraries. Where better to find information on Dark Magic that people like to pretend doesn't exist than Pure-blood libraries?"